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Bootnotes

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Team Register, 03 Apr 05:05

Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine

Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Team Register, 02 Apr 05:02

Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air

Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Shaun Nichols, 01 Apr 23:06

Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'

Video Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
Shaun Nichols, 01 Apr 10:27

Selfies are OVER: Welcome to the age of 'Sleeveface'

Take one vinyl record and add perspective
Simon Sharwood, 31 Mar 06:02

Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

Cross-border Swedes launch art installation attack
Jasper Hamill, 31 Mar 05:04

Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

Our prison mobe coverage a bunch of arse, protester suggests
Lester Haines, 27 Mar 06:04

You TWITS! Facebook exec erects billboards shaming texting drivers

In Soviet San Fran, billboards advertise you – to the cops
Iain Thomson, 26 Mar 19:29

Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

SFW Ta for the cringy vid, Durex. That's put us right off
Jasper Hamill, 26 Mar 06:03

Inmarsat: Doppler effect helped 'locate' MH370

Mind you, we still haven't found the wreckage
Richard Chirgwin, 26 Mar 03:01

Bulls hit city streets after alleged Samsung ad shoot hits the fan

Pair of beasts walk through Sydney's hipster heaven
Simon Sharwood, 25 Mar 00:55

Middle England's allotments become metric battlefield

'Over-zealous' municipal jobsworths in anti-pole position
Lester Haines, 24 Mar 10:29
Toilet

How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Award-winning book answers the question of our time
Jasper Hamill, 24 Mar 09:04
Angus Highland cow

Wearable tech for HORNY COWS: Biz slurps £3m for bovine arousal detectors

I say, Cletus, that there Daisy's getting hot under the collar...
Jasper Hamill, 24 Mar 06:02

Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Rolled up at joint naked and demanding to see husband, police claim
Lester Haines, 21 Mar 11:05

5 Eyes in the Sky: The TRUTH about Flight MH370 and SPOOKSATS

Comment Just when you thought you were alone in the bath...
Simon Sharwood, 21 Mar 10:27

Vote now for the top reader Limerick limerick

Poll Poets wax lyrical over Irish plod biro outrage
Lester Haines, 21 Mar 10:01

Every little helps: Dirty MOLE BANDITS clean out Tesco ATM from BELOW

Cops seek underhanded blaggers, 'possibly covered with soil'
Team Register, 21 Mar 06:01

Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Simian thought to have disposed of iThing in a moat
Simon Sharwood, 20 Mar 05:26

Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

No more hateful words, pledges egg-gobbling veggie crusader
Jasper Hamill, 19 Mar 05:52

French novel falls foul of Apple's breast inspectors

NSFW Les hommes de la Pomme disent 'non' aux seins de La Femme
Lester Haines, 18 Mar 06:03

Wackadoo DIYers scissor-kick beatboxer

Oxford English Dictionary in linguistic death spiral?
Lester Haines, 17 Mar 10:29

Vine's 'educational nudity': 'So if I write 1+1=2 on my boobs we're grand?'

Quotw Plus: 'A death-spiral in your IT and change capability is OK?'

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

And next year it will be even better
Rik Myslewski, 14 Mar 07:28

Brawling neighbours challenge 'quiet' cul-de-sac myth

Traditional epithet hit by flying cat crap
Lester Haines, 13 Mar 06:29

NZ bloke's drunken poker bet ends in 99-letter name

Mr Full Metal Havok <snip> Frostnova
Lester Haines, 12 Mar 06:05

Irish plod biro outrage invites Limerick Limerick challenge

'There was a mean copper in Limerick...'
Lester Haines, 11 Mar 13:29

Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

Neighbours' pleas for canine mercy fell on deaf ears – cop
Lester Haines, 10 Mar 11:26

Show more CANADIAN-MADE PORN, insists Canadian government

Jobs (hand or blow) must be given to locals, eh?
Lewis Page, 10 Mar 08:27

Police pen shortage threatens Irish public order

Judge warns Limerick gardaí to stock up sharpish
Lester Haines, 10 Mar 06:05
Parrot Ar.Drone

Plod foils drone drug drop down under

Let's get hysterical and blame this on delivery-by-drone ideas, shall we?
Simon Sharwood, 10 Mar 05:26
Oscar Mayer's Bacon Odour Dongle

Can you smell bacon? Yes! And it's coming from your iPhone!

US meatmeisters proffer porcine peripheral

Zaphod Beeblebrox style third arm cyborg prosthesis unveiled

'A lot of metal drummers would be jealous of me' says first recipient
Lewis Page, 07 Mar 06:02

I NEVER DONE BITCOIN, says bloke fingered by new Newsweek

Mag claimed 64-year-old chap living near LA created crypto-moolah
Shaun Nichols, 07 Mar 02:56

Newsweek knocks on door of dad-of-six, tells him he invented Bitcoin

Updated Bloke, 64, living near LA 'outed' by mag for print relaunch
Jack Clark, 06 Mar 18:58