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WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jasper Hamill, 17 Sep 06:01

Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen

Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Jasper Hamill, 16 Sep 06:03

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Team Register, 13 Sep 01:59

Salesforce plan to rename London skyscraper 'Salesforce Tower' DEMOLISHED

Salesforce salesforce only occupied six floors
Jasper Hamill, 12 Sep 15:26

Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport

'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Simon Sharwood, 12 Sep 06:01

Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff

Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Richard Chirgwin, 10 Sep 06:32

'4chan may be just a sysadmin who knows his way around', claims so-called expert

QoTW Plus: 'Know what hurts your brain? Googling yourself'

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let’s bring it back to level pegging
Alistair Dabbs, 07 Sep 09:00

Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy

Comment Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
Tim Worstall, 05 Sep 16:04

Data entry REAR-END SNAFU: Weighty ballsup leads to plane take-off flap

Another good reason not to treat kids as adults
Richard Chirgwin, 05 Sep 06:01

Apple Fanbois (and girls) already lining up for NEW iPHONE

You know, that one that hasn't even been announced yet?
Shaun Nichols, 04 Sep 01:17
heart.brazil

MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Jasper Hamill, 28 Aug 06:02

Football legend Gary Lineker in TWITTER POO TROLL SCANDAL

Footballer targeted by puerile jokers
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 06:02
Homer Simpson reading on PC

Get ready: The top-bracket young coders of the 2020s will be mostly GIRLS

Teen boys eclipsed in A* GCSE Computing rankings
Jasper Hamill, 21 Aug 15:27

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 06:01

Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...

Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!

Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 06:05

Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people

They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Jasper Hamill, 15 Aug 06:02

Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Updated US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Simon Sharwood, 14 Aug 07:28

Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty

Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Jasper Hamill, 12 Aug 06:04

eBay bans CD sales of metal band Burzum, citing offensive material

Meanwhile, sales of Mein Kampf going strong
Neil McAllister, 09 Aug 00:28

Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Aug 12:25

Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Jasper Hamill, 08 Aug 06:04

Check your Clungene, Irish women warned

Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
Lester Haines, 07 Aug 14:25

Love in the time of the GPS sees chap propose with Google Map

'Writes' proposal using cycling app … and got a YES!
Simon Sharwood, 07 Aug 06:05

Help Australia's PM and attorney-general to define metadata

POLL Oz politicians want to collect it, but don't know what it is, so let's 'help' them out
Simon Sharwood, 06 Aug 23:02

Robot snaps on yellow RUBBER GLOVES, preps to invade Canada

It looks friendly, but wait until you get it in the back of a car
Jasper Hamill, 05 Aug 06:04

Plane grounded so cops can cuff semi-legless passenger

Alleged to have flung prosthetic leg, food at crew
Lester Haines, 01 Aug 13:35

'Guess what: If you use the internet, you’re the subject of experiments'

QuoTW Plus: MS 'unclear how citizens will benefit' from ODF
Human fist before and after a punch

REGULAR FISTING is GOOD for your HEALTH, says respected surveyor

Wagwan, bruv, come bump the rock with me like Ali G, init
Jasper Hamill, 01 Aug 06:05

Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Something for the Weekend, Sir?* Bad computers might ask if you are Sarah Connor
Alistair Dabbs, 31 Jul 11:01
Apes gather around a giant screw

Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

BuzzGasm! Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho

Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?

Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Jasper Hamill, 30 Jul 06:02

Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN

Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Jasper Hamill, 29 Jul 06:05