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Bootnotes

Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 11:44

U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND

Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 07:01

Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*

* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
Shaun Nichols, 11 Nov 06:29

Fire fighters call for no-drone zone around bushfires

UAVs can take down water-spaffing 'copters, so firies want them to butt out
Richard Chirgwin, 09 Nov 22:54

Printing Bad: Meth found in laser printer cartridges

Contents may still have been cheaper than actual toner
Simon Sharwood, 09 Nov 22:03

What? El Reg had a cheap dig at Putin?! SAY IT AIN'T SO

CoTW Man up – everyone loves a good erection-pulling moment
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 13:00

Police in U-turn as 'shop a gun-owner' hotline is scrapped

Downrange Now, about that random spot check campaign...
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 12:30

Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' but you still have to 'SERVICE' them

QuOTW Fear, loathing and rudeness in an iStore
Jasper Hamill, 09 Nov 10:30

Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Good news at last for sweaty bastards
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Nov 07:00

We must SMASH the Democratic Deadlock with MINDFUL EVIDENCE

¡Bong! Bongotopia in INFOGRAPHIC form
Steve Bong, 07 Nov 14:16

Yes! It's DRONE PORN. And we don't mean shiny pics of UAVs

SFW-ish Way to lower the tone: Low-flown drone shown prone bone
Team Register, 07 Nov 07:38

Google Glassholes haven't achieved 'social acceptance' - report

And this is why smartglass sector IS A FLOP... for now
Jasper Hamill, 05 Nov 07:01
Dance Your PhD - screen grab

So You Think You Can Conduct Original Research?

2014's Dance your PhD prize goes to Georgia U biologist on flying trapeze
Richard Chirgwin, 04 Nov 05:29

'I get it if you don't make money for 2 or 3 years, but Amazon's 21'

QuoTW Plus: 'With artificial intelligence we are summoning the demon!'

Me GIVE you $14 SQUILLION gadziddly-DILLION

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It's the Pathetic Shark Phishers
Alistair Dabbs, 01 Nov 08:01

Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'

'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
Jasper Hamill, 30 Oct 11:56

MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Lewis Page, 29 Oct 07:03

Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth

They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Jasper Hamill, 28 Oct 13:18

Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know

OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Jasper Hamill, 27 Oct 12:46

UNCHAINING DEMONS which might DESTROY HUMANITY: Musk on AI

'I invest only to monitor the threat'
Jasper Hamill, 27 Oct 11:18

Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ

CoTW Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Gareth Corfield, 26 Oct 12:00

Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet

Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Lewis Page, 24 Oct 13:25

Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries

And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of

Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Team Register, 23 Oct 06:05

FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers

Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Team Register, 21 Oct 06:03
Sheep

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants

Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Team Register, 20 Oct 05:00
Space pizza

Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future

CoTW We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Gareth Corfield, 19 Oct 11:03

Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Simon Rockman, 18 Oct 08:31
Cassette tape exposed

Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Simon Sharwood, 17 Oct 06:02

The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event

LiveBlurt Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Team Register, 16 Oct 12:55
An estate agent hands keys to a couple after house sale. Photo by Shutterstock

Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent

Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug

US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Neil McAllister, 14 Oct 19:50
Urinating deer

Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Paul Kunert, 12 Oct 12:32

Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Paul Kunert, 11 Oct 13:16