Bootnotes

Woz moves to Oz

Apple founder moving to Tasmania, aka 'The Apple Isle'
Simon Sharwood, 19 Dec 03:01

Scrooges rejoice! Beancounters find formula for perfect Xmas party

Boffins take out - then replace - Christmas fun
Team Register, 18 Dec 07:03

30,000 people buy a box of BOVINE EXCREMENT

Cards Against Humanity pwns its customers (or provides a 'life lesson')
Simon Rockman, 17 Dec 07:02

Penguin porn? NO! Linux folk in #LCA2015 standoff

Live Cam Awards or Linux gabfest? Hmmm...
Simon Sharwood, 16 Dec 13:18

Swiss McDonalds serves up no-holes-barred cheesy action to punters

Hot muffins on the menu as staff 'concentrate on serving customers'
Paul Kunert, 15 Dec 07:01

Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Brits plan Python-powered protest (of the Monty kind) over XXX web stream rules
Iain Thomson, 10 Dec 08:02

Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Plain English Campaign gives exec Kick in Pants award for Watch words
Paul Kunert, 04 Dec 06:02

Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

...to the tune of 13x times what he asked for...*
Jasper Hamill, 03 Dec 07:02

Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

That's just a stew with a pastry lid, sputter furious pie-botherers
Jasper Hamill, 02 Dec 07:03

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Masala omelette

'I fell into a burning ring of fire ...'
Lester Haines, 29 Nov 14:00
Golden Dropping of Excellence

VISUALISED: The Golden Vulture Dropping of Excellence

CoTW 'UK.gov fingering Facebook over murder is f*cking scandalous'
Gareth Corfield, 29 Nov 11:15

Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher

Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 07:02

Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM

¡Bong! Extra First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Steve Bong, 22 Nov 10:30

'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT

QuoTW Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned

Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale

Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Simon Sharwood, 17 Nov 07:02

'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?

CoTW Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Gareth Corfield, 16 Nov 11:00

NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums

Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert

It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Alistair Dabbs, 15 Nov 07:02

Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG

Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Lester Haines, 14 Nov 12:04

Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 11:44

U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND

Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 07:01

Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*

* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
Shaun Nichols, 11 Nov 06:29
Parrot Ar.Drone

Fire fighters call for no-drone zone around bushfires

UAVs can take down water-spaffing 'copters, so firies want them to butt out
Richard Chirgwin, 09 Nov 22:54

Printing Bad: Meth found in laser printer cartridges

Contents may still have been cheaper than actual toner
Simon Sharwood, 09 Nov 22:03
President Putin doing judo

What? El Reg had a cheap dig at Putin?! SAY IT AIN'T SO

CoTW Man up – everyone loves a good erection-pulling moment
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 13:00
hurrah

Police in U-turn as 'shop a gun-owner' hotline is scrapped

Downrange Now, about that random spot check campaign...
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 12:30
Moments of perspiration

Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Good news at last for sweaty bastards
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Nov 07:00