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Bootnotes

Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Team Register, 16 Oct 06:04

Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug

US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Neil McAllister, 14 Oct 19:50

Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Paul Kunert, 12 Oct 12:32

Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Paul Kunert, 11 Oct 13:16

ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG

¡Bong! Hey the Man, you can't geoblock distributed democracy
Steve Bong, 10 Oct 15:02

Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists

Think psychopathy and BDSM dungeons, not desktops
Jasper Hamill, 10 Oct 13:17

HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

'Don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful' ploy for sad honeys
Lewis Page, 08 Oct 05:55

APPLE still building fanbois CULT HQ in Cupertino, it seems

Drone takes flight over Fruit Loop to reveal giant brown circle
Jasper Hamill, 07 Oct 06:02

Apple's iPhone 6 can REVERSE BALDNESS (and cause it, too)

Is there no problem the Jesus Phone can't cause, er, solve?
Jasper Hamill, 06 Oct 11:17

Man brings knife to a gun fight and WINS

Successfully escapes from police robot
Lewis Page, 06 Oct 05:49

Dear Reg readers. I want Metro tiles to replace ALL ICONS in Windows. Is this a good idea?

CoTW Naturally you were all delighted with this suggestion
Gareth Corfield, 05 Oct 11:03

Ingredient found in TASTY BEER is GOOD for your BRAIN

You only have to drink 2k litres a day to see the effect...
Jasper Hamill, 02 Oct 11:28

SLOSH! Cops dethrone suspect - by tipping over portaloo with him inside

Vid Talk about raising a stink and soiling your career
Jasper Hamill, 02 Oct 06:02

Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Team Register, 29 Sep 05:01

Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT

CoTW ... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Gareth Corfield, 28 Sep 08:01

Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Belgian booze pumped from underground
Jasper Hamill, 26 Sep 06:03

Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Neil McAllister, 25 Sep 20:41

Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first

#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Shaun Nichols, 25 Sep 17:26

Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER

Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Team Register, 25 Sep 06:14

Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights

Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Richard Chirgwin, 22 Sep 06:02

Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Jasper Hamill, 19 Sep 06:01

WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jasper Hamill, 17 Sep 06:01

Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen

Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Jasper Hamill, 16 Sep 06:03
Tim Cook as Miss Havisham

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Team Register, 13 Sep 01:59

Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport

'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Simon Sharwood, 12 Sep 06:01
Batteries that caught fire on Fiji Airlines plane

Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff

Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Richard Chirgwin, 10 Sep 06:32

'4chan may be just a sysadmin who knows his way around', claims so-called expert

QoTW Plus: 'Know what hurts your brain? Googling yourself'

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let’s bring it back to level pegging
Photo of Jonathan Ive

Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy

Comment Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
Tim Worstall, 05 Sep 16:04
Qantas A380 tail

Data entry REAR-END SNAFU: Weighty ballsup leads to plane take-off flap

Another good reason not to treat kids as adults
Richard Chirgwin, 05 Sep 06:01
iPhone forensics beaten image

Apple Fanbois (and girls) already lining up for NEW iPHONE

You know, that one that hasn't even been announced yet?
Shaun Nichols, 04 Sep 01:17