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Bootnotes

UNCHAINING DEMONS which might DESTROY HUMANITY: Musk on AI

'I invest only to monitor the threat'
Jasper Hamill, 27 Oct 11:18

Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ

CoTW Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Gareth Corfield, 26 Oct 12:00

Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet

Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Lewis Page, 24 Oct 13:25

Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries

And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of

Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Team Register, 23 Oct 06:05

FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers

Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Team Register, 21 Oct 06:03

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants

Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Team Register, 20 Oct 05:00

Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future

CoTW We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Gareth Corfield, 19 Oct 11:03

Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)

Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Simon Rockman, 18 Oct 08:31

Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Simon Sharwood, 17 Oct 06:02

The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event

LiveBlurt Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Team Register, 16 Oct 12:55
An estate agent hands keys to a couple after house sale. Photo by Shutterstock

Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Team Register, 16 Oct 06:04

Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug

US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Neil McAllister, 14 Oct 19:50
Urinating deer

Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Paul Kunert, 12 Oct 12:32

Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Paul Kunert, 11 Oct 13:16

ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG

¡Bong! Hey the Man, you can't geoblock distributed democracy
Steve Bong, 10 Oct 15:02

Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists

Think psychopathy and BDSM dungeons, not desktops
Jasper Hamill, 10 Oct 13:17

HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

'Don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful' ploy for sad honeys
Lewis Page, 08 Oct 05:55

APPLE still building fanbois CULT HQ in Cupertino, it seems

Drone takes flight over Fruit Loop to reveal giant brown circle
Jasper Hamill, 07 Oct 06:02

Apple's iPhone 6 can REVERSE BALDNESS (and cause it, too)

Is there no problem the Jesus Phone can't cause, er, solve?
Jasper Hamill, 06 Oct 11:17

Man brings knife to a gun fight and WINS

Successfully escapes from police robot
Lewis Page, 06 Oct 05:49

Dear Reg readers. I want Metro tiles to replace ALL ICONS in Windows. Is this a good idea?

CoTW Naturally you were all delighted with this suggestion
Gareth Corfield, 05 Oct 11:03

Ingredient found in TASTY BEER is GOOD for your BRAIN

You only have to drink 2k litres a day to see the effect...
Jasper Hamill, 02 Oct 11:28

SLOSH! Cops dethrone suspect - by tipping over portaloo with him inside

Vid Talk about raising a stink and soiling your career
Jasper Hamill, 02 Oct 06:02

Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Team Register, 29 Sep 05:01
Double Facepalm; when one facepalm is not enough.

Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT

CoTW ... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Gareth Corfield, 28 Sep 08:01

Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Belgian booze pumped from underground
Jasper Hamill, 26 Sep 06:03

Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team

Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Neil McAllister, 25 Sep 20:41
The new Twitter logo. Pic: Twitter

Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first

#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Shaun Nichols, 25 Sep 17:26

Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER

Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Team Register, 25 Sep 06:14