Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!

Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 06:05

Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people

They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Jasper Hamill, 15 Aug 06:02

Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Updated US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Simon Sharwood, 14 Aug 07:28

Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty

Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Jasper Hamill, 12 Aug 06:04

eBay bans CD sales of metal band Burzum, citing offensive material

Meanwhile, sales of Mein Kampf going strong
Neil McAllister, 09 Aug 00:28

Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Aug 12:25

Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Jasper Hamill, 08 Aug 06:04

Check your Clungene, Irish women warned

Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
Lester Haines, 07 Aug 14:25

Love in the time of the GPS sees chap propose with Google Map

'Writes' proposal using cycling app … and got a YES!
Simon Sharwood, 07 Aug 06:05

Help Australia's PM and attorney-general to define metadata

POLL Oz politicians want to collect it, but don't know what it is, so let's 'help' them out
Simon Sharwood, 06 Aug 23:02

Robot snaps on yellow RUBBER GLOVES, preps to invade Canada

It looks friendly, but wait until you get it in the back of a car
Jasper Hamill, 05 Aug 06:04

Plane grounded so cops can cuff semi-legless passenger

Alleged to have flung prosthetic leg, food at crew
Lester Haines, 01 Aug 13:35

'Guess what: If you use the internet, you’re the subject of experiments'

QuoTW Plus: MS 'unclear how citizens will benefit' from ODF
Human fist before and after a punch

REGULAR FISTING is GOOD for your HEALTH, says respected surveyor

Wagwan, bruv, come bump the rock with me like Ali G, init
Jasper Hamill, 01 Aug 06:05

Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Something for the Weekend, Sir?* Bad computers might ask if you are Sarah Connor
Alistair Dabbs, 31 Jul 11:01

Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

BuzzGasm! Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho

Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?

Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Jasper Hamill, 30 Jul 06:02

Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN

Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Jasper Hamill, 29 Jul 06:05

OKCupid: OK, STUPID, YES we set you up with BAD DATES. On purpose

'Myth of compatibilty as good as truth'
Iain Thomson, 28 Jul 21:43


In space... no one can hear you're green...
Jasper Hamill, 28 Jul 06:00

NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Alistair Dabbs, 25 Jul 08:32

Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt

Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land

Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Lester Haines, 22 Jul 08:27

Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!

If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Simon Sharwood, 22 Jul 07:33
Cat yawning

Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil

'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Richard Chirgwin, 22 Jul 03:34

Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet

Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Lester Haines, 17 Jul 09:26

Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!

Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Neil McAllister, 16 Jul 22:21

Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

NSFW Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Lester Haines, 15 Jul 11:46

Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery

Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage

Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!

How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Lester Haines, 14 Jul 09:19