Bootnotes

DVRs at the ready tonight: El Reg's motor Vulture is on the tellybox

Ace wheelman Rockman to grace London screens at 7:30pm
Lewis Page, 19 Jan 09:00

Alabama tops US teacher-pupil sex league

Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi and Vermont also right up there
Lester Haines, 19 Jan 07:03

'Our AI systems must do what we want them to do'

QuoTW Also: 'An email to a fellow academic could land you a 10 year prison sentence'
Kat Hall, 18 Jan 12:00

Bacon-smoking locals provoke noxious Chinese smog

City of Dazhou official nails cause of pollution spike
Lester Haines, 15 Jan 15:03

$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

Huggable health monitor beams vital signs to Mumsy's mobe
Simon Sharwood, 15 Jan 07:06

Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

Conservationists unsurprisingly unimpressed by cetacean knacker brew
Lester Haines, 13 Jan 11:03

Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

Obambulate your way out of this linguistic subtopia
Lewis Page, 13 Jan 07:05

Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

Teen heartthrobs TAKE DOWN Cardiff conference
Kat Hall, 12 Jan 07:00

5 Times An 'Unhappy Person' Dared To Use The Word 'Boring' At CES 2015

BUZZGASM! Droning on and on in your internet-connected :(

This boat can move 234,989 cubic pink elephants! (honest)

CoTW True Reg readers know it's all about the JUBS
Gareth Corfield, 11 Jan 10:00

World's largest ship swallows 900 MEGATINS of baked beans

CSCL Globe as long as 8 Olympic swimming pools - BBC
Lester Haines, 09 Jan 07:03

Buses? PAH. Begone with your filthy peasant-wagons

Comment Public transport is PRICEY and POINTLESS - give me a Google Car
Simon Rockman, 27 Dec 08:00

2014: The condensed conference keynotes

We sit in the dark to bring you disruptive enlightenment
Simon Sharwood, 24 Dec 06:02

Australia's future tech news headlines ... for 2016!

In which Vulture South hacks peer into a beer glass and see Telstra buying a bit of NBN Co

Solar-powered bra maker suffers 20,000 TITSUPs all at once

Firm tells women to take them off immediately
Kat Hall, 23 Dec 07:01

Woz moves to Oz

Apple founder moving to Tasmania, aka 'The Apple Isle'
Simon Sharwood, 19 Dec 03:01

Scrooges rejoice! Beancounters find formula for perfect Xmas party

Boffins take out - then replace - Christmas fun
Team Register, 18 Dec 07:03

30,000 people buy a box of BOVINE EXCREMENT

Cards Against Humanity pwns its customers (or provides a 'life lesson')
Simon Rockman, 17 Dec 07:02

Penguin porn? NO! Linux folk in #LCA2015 standoff

Live Cam Awards or Linux gabfest? Hmmm...
Simon Sharwood, 16 Dec 13:18

Swiss McDonalds serves up no-holes-barred cheesy action to punters

Hot muffins on the menu as staff 'concentrate on serving customers'
Paul Kunert, 15 Dec 07:01

Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Brits plan Python-powered protest (of the Monty kind) over XXX web stream rules
Iain Thomson, 10 Dec 08:02
Photo of Jonathan Ive

Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Plain English Campaign gives exec Kick in Pants award for Watch words
Paul Kunert, 04 Dec 06:02

Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

...to the tune of 13x times what he asked for...*
Jasper Hamill, 03 Dec 07:02

Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

That's just a stew with a pastry lid, sputter furious pie-botherers
Jasper Hamill, 02 Dec 07:03

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Masala omelette

'I fell into a burning ring of fire ...'
Lester Haines, 29 Nov 14:00
Golden Dropping of Excellence

VISUALISED: The Golden Vulture Dropping of Excellence

CoTW 'UK.gov fingering Facebook over murder is f*cking scandalous'
Gareth Corfield, 29 Nov 11:15

Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher

Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Uber - living the dream

Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM

¡Bong! Extra First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Steve Bong, 22 Nov 10:30
Star Trek: Patterns of Force

'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT

QuoTW Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned