The Week in Summary

The hit augmented reality smartphone app "Pokemon GO" shows a Pokemon encounter overlain on a real world trail in the forest in Santa Cruz, California. Photo by Matthew Corley for Shutterstock. EDITORIAL USE ONLY!.

Judge uses 1st Amendment on Pokemon Go park ban. It's super effective!

Milwaukee County's rules to keep its parks from being overrun by augmented reality gamers have been suspended by a judge over concerns that they violate the First Amendment.
Thomas Claburn, 22 Jul 2017
Surveillance van's interior

Fan of FBI cosplay? Enjoy freaking out your neighbors? Have we got the eBay auction for you

A rather unusual auction on eBay could appeal to aspiring spies and X‑Files fantasists alike.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Jul 2017
Sopranos

The Italian Jobs: Bloke thrown in the cooler for touting Apple knockoffs

A scammer who imported fake iPods, iPads, iPhones, and Sony hardware worth $15m into America was today sent down for 37 months.
Iain Thomson, 21 Jul 2017
Take a number machine

Intel is upset that Qualcomm is treating it like Intel treated AMD for years and years

Intel has backed Apple in the iGiant's almighty scrap with Qualcomm – which is trying to ban sales of iPhones and iPads in America.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Jul 2017
Sokoban screenshot
7

DeepMind says it's given AI an imagination. Let's take a closer look at that

Google's AI boutique, DeepMind, known for dispelling human delusions of intellectual superiority by soundly beating the world's top Go players with computer code, has found that instilling its software agents with something like imagination helps them learn better.
Thomas Claburn, 21 Jul 2017

China censors drop the soap operas, sitcoms

Analysis A disturbing trend toward ever-greater censorship in China has seemingly crossed a line with the banning and blocking... well, fun, basically.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Jul 2017
Waiting

Andy Rubin's overhyped and underdelivered Essential phone out 'in a few weeks'

After months of hype and missed deadlines, it seems as though Andy Rubin's new smartphone might actually make it onto the market.
Iain Thomson, 21 Jul 2017

Silicon Valley IT biz boss cops to lying about Cisco H-1B jobs

The owner of a Silicon Valley tech consulting biz has pled guilty to making up job offers in order to obtain US H-1B visas for overseas workers.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Jul 2017
Losing money

Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook blow massive amounts lobbying Trump administration

Google, Amazon, Facebook and Apple are finding the Trump Administration a very expensive prospect, at least according to their newly released lobbying figures.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Jul 2017
Caught_in_the_mud

Pull on yer wellies and let's wade through the week's storage news

A mudslide of storage news has mired Vulture Central and we're up to our waists in it. Alas, this seems to be becoming a weekly occurrence. We waded through it, sorted it out, tidied it up, and mopped the floors.
Chris Mellor, 21 Jul 2017
6

Legal boffins poke holes in EU lawmaker's ePrivacy proposals

The European Commission's proposed ePrivacy law needs significant amendments, particularly on location tracking and keeping people's communications confidential, according to an in-depth study.
Rebecca Hill, 21 Jul 2017
Pinky and the Brain

What is this – some kind of flashy, 3-bit consumer SSD? Eh, Seagate?

Seagate has a new line of Nytro consumer SSDs coming using 3-bits/cell flash.
Chris Mellor, 21 Jul 2017
9

But how does our ransomware make you feel?

Ransomware crooks have become skilled psychological manipulators in their attempts to fleece victims of file-encrypting malware.
John Leyden, 21 Jul 2017

Why you'll never make really big money as an AI dev

Among the stupider things I said in the 1980s was a comment about Artificial Intelligence, including neural nets - or perceptrons as we called them back then - saying we needed "maybe a processor that worked at a hundred megahertz and literally gigabytes of storage".
Dominic Connor, 21 Jul 2017
Hyperloop

I've got a verbal govt contract for Hyperloop, claims His Muskiness

The world's best business self-publicist since Richard Branson reckons he has been given a "verbal contract" to build an unrealistic high-speed tube train system across America.
Gareth Corfield, 21 Jul 2017

Vodafone reports sliding revenues but customers don't hate them as much

Vodafone's UK reputation is improving thanks to network improvements, the company said, pointing to a higher net promoter score as it revealed its results today.
Team Register, 21 Jul 2017

Dump X of your crew, DXC Technologies UK told. Hundreds face axe AGAIN

Exclusive Less than four months after DXC Technologies was created and the Frankenfirm is already embarking on a second round of jobs cuts, with hundreds of frontline support techies earmarked for the chop.
Paul Kunert, 21 Jul 2017
4

Shut up and take my money! AI luminaries go gooey for Graphcore's smart chip tech

Bristolian AI chip startup Graphcore has had a fast B-round 12 months after its $32m A-round funding was first revealed.
Chris Mellor, 21 Jul 2017

Volterman 'super wallet': The worst crowdsource video pitch of all time?

Do you need a "smart" wallet with a built in front-facing camera and GPS? Of course you don't. Not even with a built-in Wi-Fi hotspot? Well, enough people do to make a success of an Indiegogo project promising just that.
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Jul 2017
VR gamer, image via Shutterstock

Virgin Media broadband latency headaches still not fixed six months on

Latency issues with Intel's Puma 6, used in gigabit broadband modems, have yet to be resolved for Virgin Media customers using the UK company's superhub 3.
Kat Hall, 21 Jul 2017
Ireland and Great Britain map, image via Shutterstock

Reg reader turns Geek's Guides to Britain into Geek's Map of Britain

A forward-thinking Reg reader has put the entirety of our Geeks’ Guide series onto a Google Map, for your navigational and geographically organised reading pleasure.
Gareth Corfield, 21 Jul 2017

Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'll never forget the day I found my children looking at Spam for the first time. My son was particularly perplexed, asking: "Is that what I think it is?"
Alistair Dabbs, 21 Jul 2017

You can't DevOps everything, kids. Off the shelf kit especially

Comment Hey, psst. Come over here, I have a secret to tell you. My fellow DevOps hoodwinkers would cement-shoe me for saying so, but you don't always need to do the DevOps. In fact, in many cases, it's likely a waste of effort. Let's start walking this way, briskly, now – I think I see some pink and chromatic blue fade-tipped Thought Lords and Ladies coming down the hallway towards us. They look like they're ready to do a blameful pre-mortem.
Michael Cote, 21 Jul 2017
Footprints sand photo via Shutterstock

The lady (or man) vanishes: The thorny issue of GDPR coding

Europe's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) is now less than a year away, coming into effect in May 2018, and any legal or compliance department worth its salary should already have been making waves about what it means for your organisation.
Danny Bradbury, 21 Jul 2017
Pizza and beer - friends forever

User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

On-Call Hey, hey, it's Friday! Which means frolicsome weekend fun is just a day away … if you can survive work and this week's instalment of On-Call, The Register's weekly column in which we recount readers stories of jobs gone weird.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Jul 2017
AirCode image

Boffins back bubbles for better bonding with beautiful belongings

To mark and track 3D printed objects, boffins propose injecting them with air.
Thomas Claburn, 21 Jul 2017

Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

Among developers, Python is the most popular programming language, followed by C, Java, C++, and JavaScript; among employers, Java is the most sought after, followed by C, Python, C++, and JavaScript.
Thomas Claburn, 21 Jul 2017

Burglary, robbery, kidnapping and a shoot-out over… a domain name?!

A home break-in that resulted in two men being shot – one of whom was later charged with burglary, robbery and kidnapping – was the result of a domain name dispute, cops have said.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Jul 2017
Pennies in a jar. Photo via Shutterstock

Moneysupermarket fined £80,000 for spamming seven million customers

Price-comparison darling Moneysupermarket.com has been fined £80,000 for sending 7.1 million emails to customers who had opted out of receiving direct marketing emails.
Rebecca Hill, 21 Jul 2017
Beavis and Butt-Head

Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

How's this for a stiff one to start the day? We now go live to America, where watchdogs have recalled a batch of coffee for containing an active ingredient very similar to Viagra.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Jul 2017
Exam hall full of desks

Microsoft finally allows hosted desktops on multi-tenant hardware

Microsoft's dispensed with a licensing oddity that saw it prohibit hosted virtual desktops running on multi-tenanted hardware.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Jul 2017
Bluetooth Mesh

Bluetooth makes a mesh of itself with new spec

The Bluetooth Special Interest Group has released the spec for Bluetooth Mesh, a many-to-many extension of the technology.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Jul 2017
ServiceNow visual task board

ServiceNow stops over in Jakarta on its journey to AI-land

ServiceNow's Jakarta release went live on Thursday, bringing with it plenty of new toys for IT departments and hints of artificially intelligent things to come.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Jul 2017

They say we're too mean to Microsoft. Well, how about this... Redmond just had a stonking year. And only 8% tax. Whee!

In its final quarter of its fiscal 2017, Microsoft more than doubled its profits, saw massive cloud growth, and managed to get a rebate from US taxpayers at the same time.
Iain Thomson, 21 Jul 2017
Ajit Pai

So, FCC, how about that massive DDoS? Hello? Hello...? You still there?

Updated America's broadband watchdog, the FCC, has declined to share any more details on the cyber-assault that apparently downed its website shortly after it announced its intent to kill net neutrality.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Jul 2017
Secretary Kelly

US Homeland Sec boss has snazzy new laptop bomb scanning tech – but admits he doesn't know what it's called

Flying into America? Don't worry about that crackdown on laptops and similar gear in your carry-on luggage. It's no longer happening. No, instead, the US has something else up its sleeve.
Iain Thomson, 20 Jul 2017

Alphabay shutdown: Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? Not use your Hotmail...

Analysis The alleged owner of dark-web marketplace AlphaBay was tracked down by FBI because he was stupid enough to include his real Hotmail address in the content management system used to run the site.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Jul 2017

Death to strap-ons, says Intel, yet thrusts its little AI stick into us all

Intel, having accepted the inevitable, has dropped out of the wearables and fitness band game, and canned the teams working on that strap-on tech.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Jul 2017

Second one this month: Another code bootcamp decamps to graveyard

The Iron Yard, a four-year-old coding bootcamp based in South Carolina, USA, said on Thursday that it is shutting its doors.
Thomas Claburn, 20 Jul 2017
phishing

UK uni warns students of phishers trying to nick their tuition fees

Foreign students looking to experience the stochastic joys of a year at Newcastle University in England are being warned that phishers are after their cash – using an unusually well-crafted attack.
Iain Thomson, 20 Jul 2017
4

Huawei reckons it can strong ARM its way into AI world with new chips

Chinese systems colossus Huawei claims it is developing chips optimized for artificial-intelligence tasks.
Chris Mellor, 20 Jul 2017
HBO: Game of Thrones

Toshiba's spat with WDC over chip biz is now a song of strife and ire

Toshiba regained a right to lock WDC (SanDisk) employees from their joint-venture fab in Yokkaichi, Japan, reversing WDC's court-obtained Temporary Restraining Order, which was won earlier this month.
Chris Mellor, 20 Jul 2017
Rolling_Stones
1

White boxer is a white racker: Supermicro touts Rack Scale Design

Building servers, switches and storage are a good racket for ODM Supermicro but building Vblock-like rack scale systems is an even better one.
Chris Mellor, 20 Jul 2017
police

Cops harpoon two dark net whales in megabust: AlphaBay and Hansa

Two of the largest dark net marketplaces - AlphaBay and Hansa - have been shut down following an international police operation.
John Leyden, 20 Jul 2017
Money cloud
1

Just look at our cloud sales, beams profit-sapped SAP

SAP has reported revenues of €5.8bn in the quarter ending June 30, up 10 per cent on the previous year’s figure.
Rebecca Hill, 20 Jul 2017
Human iris. Photo by SHutterstock

The eyes have IT: TSB to roll out iris-scanning tech for mobile banking

TSB has announced plans to roll out iris-scanning technology for its mobile banking app from September.
John Leyden, 20 Jul 2017
Uber delivery person
9

Uber, Twitter's legal eagles gather to wring claws about bro culture

Lawyers from Uber and Twitter spoke about ways to curb "bro culture" in the male-dominated world of Silicon Valley at an annual judicial conference this week.
Kat Hall, 20 Jul 2017
Hacker

UK households hit by 1.8m computer misuse offences in a year

The number of incidents of computer misuse in England and Wales reached 1.8 million in the year up to March 2015, according to official crime statistics released today.
Rebecca Hill, 20 Jul 2017
NHS hosptial photo, by Marbury via Shutterstock

NHS trusts splashed £260m on PCs in last four years

In the last four years, NHS Trusts have spent £260m on 401,084 new PCs, at an average cost of £650.54 a box, according to Freedom of Information responses.
Kat Hall, 20 Jul 2017
A tortoise catches an orange frisbee. Photo by Shutterstock

This is why old Windows Phones won't run PC apps

Thanks to Qualcomm, x86 support is coming to Windows 10 ARM phones and tablets - but not to older Lumia devices. In a webcast, Joe Belfiore, these days the corporate VP in the OS Group at Microsoft, has explained why.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Jul 2017
shocked looking policeman

'Coke dealer' called us after his stash was stolen – cops

A man called the cops to report that cash and a bag of Colombian marching powder stashed in his car had been nicked, police arrest documents have revealed.
Paul Kunert, 20 Jul 2017

Feature snatcher Microsoft tweaks OneDrive

Neither Apple nor Microsoft has a great history with their cloud graveyards consumer cloud file systems, tripping up users with frequent strategy lurches and abandoning features over the years.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Jul 2017
couple with two mobile phones - porting numbers.

UK mobile number porting creaks: Arcane system shows its age

Comment Problems with the way the UK has implemented mobile phone call routing are emerging as an architecture designed for a small volume of calls struggles under the weight of usage.
Simon Rockman, 20 Jul 2017

No one still thinks iOS is invulnerable to malware, right? Well, knock it off

The comforting notion that iOS devices are immune to malicious code attacks has taken a knock following the release of a new study by mobile security firm Skycure.
John Leyden, 20 Jul 2017
The Type 26 Global Combat Ship. Image: BAE Systems

HMS Frigatey Mcfrigateface given her official name

The first of the Royal Navy's new Type 26 frigates has been named HMS Glasgow, recycling the name for the fourth time in the last 100 years.
Gareth Corfield, 20 Jul 2017
Roy Batty Blade Runner
1

Oracle's FS1 storage array fades into cloud like tears in rain

+Comment Oracle is refocusing its FS1 storage array into its own public cloud away from on-premises sales.
Chris Mellor, 20 Jul 2017
Computer worm photo via Shutterstock
7

Yeah, WannaCry hit Windows, but what about the WannaCry of apps?

WannaCrypt crippled 230,000 Windows PCs internationally, hitting unpatched Windows 7 and Windows Server 2008 and computers still running Microsoft's seriously old Windows XP, though the latter wasn't responsible for its spread.
Dave Cartwright, 20 Jul 2017
The first RAF F-35B Lightning II to land in the UK. Crown copyright

Breathless F-35 pilots to get oxygen boost via algorithm tweak

The oxygen deprivation problems that choked F-35 pilots will be fixed through a software update, according to US reports – with the UK's handful of F-35B jets also in line for the fix.
Gareth Corfield, 20 Jul 2017
Robot on road photo via Shutterstock
4

House of Lords to probe AI data slurping

How technology giants own and use your data will be a focus for our noble and learned friends on the new House of Lords Select Committee on Artificial Intelligence.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Jul 2017
HAL

We're all saved. From the killer AI. We can live. Thanks to the IEEE

Amid renewed calls to regulate AI before it wipes humanity from the planet, The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) has rolled out a standards project to guide how AI agents handle data, part of a broader effort to ensure AI will act ethically.
Thomas Claburn, 20 Jul 2017
Policeman number 10, photo by pcruciatti via Shutterstock

UK.gov watchdog didn't red flag any IT projects. And that alone should be a red flag to everyone

Analysis The BBC’s release of its top earners’ salaries this week stirred up both long-time detractors of Auntie and dyed-in-the-wool supporters.
Kat Hall, 20 Jul 2017
Bug

Crazy bug of the week: Gnome Files' .MSI parser runs evil VBScripts

Gnome developers, take a bow: a bug in your image thumbnailer has opened up a (not too scary, thankfully) hole for script injection.

Europe's 'one patent court to rule them all' vision may be destroyed by EPO shenanigans

The freeze on long-held plans to approve a single patent court for Europe is a result of the actions of the president of the European Patent Office, according to German media reports.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Jul 2017
hands through the jail bars. Photo by shutterstock
6

Remember that Citadel bank-slurping malware? Its main man was just jailed for five years

Russian programmer Mark Vartanyan has been sentenced to five years in US federal prison for developing and spreading the Citadel malware that stole $500m (£383m) from bank accounts around the world.
Iain Thomson, 20 Jul 2017

Why can't you install Windows 10 Creators Update on your old Atom netbook? Because Intel stopped loving you

Microsoft has blamed Intel for the sad trail of low-end PCs left out of the Windows 10 Creators Update rollouts.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Jul 2017
Drag racer wheelspin
5

Deutsche Telekom G.fast demo pushes G.Fast faster, further

Deutsche Telekom and ADTRAN have showed off an emerging G.Fast technology called cDTA which, along with 212 MHz carrier spectrum, ramps system performance well into the gigabit range.
His master's voice
8

Mozilla hoping to open source voice samples for future AI devs

Mozilla has decided speech recognition should be open source, and has launched a project to achieve just that, Project Common Voice.

Dahua cameras stung by Web interface bug

Chinese camera-maker Dahua has flicked out a patch to fix a possible remote code execution vulnerability in its Web admin interface.

$30 million below Parity: Ethereum wallet bug fingered in mass heist

A vulnerability in Parity's Ethereum wallet software has been exploited by thieves to rob victims on a massive scale.
A cat stuck in a tree
1

'We hold the high ground' says Qualcomm boss as profits crater

Qualcomm is remaining optimistic despite another miserable financial quarter, worsened by the ongoing legal war with Apple.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Jul 2017
Crypto fingers
3

Quantum crypto upstart QuintessenceLabs hopes to cut the cord

With AU$3.26m from Australia's government, quantum crypto outfit QuintessenceLabs has set to work getting the fibre out of its diet, and instead running quantum key exchange over free space.

Apple hurls out patches for dozens of security holes in iOS, macOS

Apple has today released patches addressing roughly four dozen exploitable security vulnerabilities in iOS, macOS, and WatchOS.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Jul 2017
soap

'Millions of IoT gizmos' wide open to hijackers after devs drop gSOAP

Security researchers investigating internet-connected video cameras have uncovered a bug that could conceivably leave millions of devices open to easy pwnage.
Iain Thomson, 19 Jul 2017

Apple's 'KGB level of secrecy' harms its AI projects – but don't worry, it's started a blog

Analysis Continuing its campaign to court AI boffins, traditionally tight-lipped Apple has tiptoed further toward engagement with the outside world through the publication of its first research blog.
Thomas Claburn, 19 Jul 2017
Amazon Video

Amazon may still get .amazon despite govt opposition – thanks to a classic ICANN cockup

Special report Amazon may still get hold of its namesake top-level domain .amazon after an independent review panel lambasted the decision by DNS overseer ICANN to deny its application.
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Jul 2017
signal

.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job

For over a hundred years, navies around the world have messaged each other at the speed of light – signal lamp light.
Iain Thomson, 19 Jul 2017
8

Factories counter-punch Qualcomm in the gut as Apple eggs them on

Updated The four electronics factories sued by Qualcomm for not paying licensing fees have lodged their own countersuit with the backing of Apple.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Jul 2017
3

Who the funk is Hive-IO? It's where Atlantis assets have buzzed off to

Hive-IO has bought certain assets of Atlantis Computing, a struggling supplier of VDI and hyperconverged infrastructure software, for undisclosed financial terms.
Chris Mellor, 19 Jul 2017
Man with head in the cloud
4

Head in the clouds? Apparently there's now space on Oracle's sales team

Oracle is continuing to head into the cloud, kicking off another recruitment drive for 1,000 fluffy white services sales people – but the news comes amid talk of reorganisation and layoffs elsewhere.
Rebecca Hill, 19 Jul 2017
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)
6

190 Cray employees hosed down with shower of pink slippery

Supercomputer supplier Cray is giving 190 employees the elbow in a restructuring exercise to cut operating costs.
Chris Mellor, 19 Jul 2017
The Starship Enterprise
6

NAND then there was a second growth quarter... IBM reports flash surge

Analysis IBM's systems segment brought in $1.7bn, 10 per cent down year-on-year. Systems hardware was $1.3bn with operating systems software at $400m.
Chris Mellor, 19 Jul 2017

Reborn Nokia phones biz loses its head

The boss of HMD Global, the company reviving Nokia-branded phones, quit unexpectedly today.
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Jul 2017
BBC broadcasting house photo via Shutterstock

Stop all news – it's time for us plebs to be told about BBC paycheques!

Comment The BBC is trembling with excitement following the enforced publication of the annual salaries of on-screen stars earning more than £150,000 at the tax-funded broadcaster.
Gareth Corfield, 19 Jul 2017
Shuffle, image via Shutterstock
3

Hortonworks reshuffles C-suite, gets third COO in 12 months

Hortonworks has ditched its second chief operating office in less than a year as part of a C-suite reshuffle that saw share prices drop.
Rebecca Hill, 19 Jul 2017
PWX_image

Contain(er) your enthusiasm, nerds: Docker-backed OCI runtime spec hits 1.0

The Open Container Initiative, an attempt by Docker and other container tech companies to build standards and consensus for container technology, on Wednesday plans to release the initial version of its runtime and image specifications.
Thomas Claburn, 19 Jul 2017
9

School of card knocks: Russophone criminals offered online courses in credit card fraud

Cyber crime lords have come up with a new money-spinner – Russian-language e-learning courses geared towards teaching the skills necessary to rip off consumers and card companies.
John Leyden, 19 Jul 2017
segway

Segway hoverboard hijack hack could make hipsters eat pavement

The latest two-wheel transporter toy from Segway was disturbingly easy to hack, with miscreants requiring just seconds to take control of a vehicle, we're told.
Iain Thomson, 19 Jul 2017
1

Speaking in Tech: We NEED to do a [insert buzzword] project!

Podcast Podcast This week Amy is joined by Ed and Melissa with special guest Michael Coté, director of technical marketing at Pivotal. Together they discuss IoT's turn to stink, more douchebags, AI takeovers, the rise of the content providers and zombies.
Team Register, 19 Jul 2017

Tapping the Bank of Mum and Dad: Why your Netflix subscription is poised to rise (again)

Analysis If Silicon Valley still does one thing better than anybody else, it's propping up profitless corporations, just like the Bank of Mum and Dad. Gulf states pour money into Premier League teams, but not on anything like the scale of Uber and Netflix, two examples of capital-swallowing money pits.
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Jul 2017
5

IBM signs up for EU Cloud Code of Conduct, opens four data centres

IBM has signed up to an EU Cloud Provider Code of Conduct initiative and is announcing four new data centres in the UK, Australia and Silicon Valley for the IBM Cloud.
Chris Mellor, 19 Jul 2017
Roadworks: fibre optic cable being laid

TalkTalk posts 3% sales drop, says Openreach should walk the WalkWalk

TalkTalk's sales dropped by 3 per cent in its first quarter, with an extra 20,000 new customers failing to offset the drop.
Kat Hall, 19 Jul 2017

China's 'future-proof' crypto: We talk to firm behind crazy quantum key distribution network

Two hundred local government employees across the capital of China's eastern Shandong province will soon be encrypting messages with keys that are "impossible" to crack.
Andrew Silver, 19 Jul 2017
Image by gyn9037 http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-691846p1.html

Targeted, custom ransomware menace rears its ugly head

Attackers are manually deploying ransomware directly into target networks to maximise the damage and potential payout.
John Leyden, 19 Jul 2017
A TV aerial. Pic: Shutterstock

We'll hit THAT 95% Sigfox coverage target using telly aerials, says WND-UK

WND‑UK – the “who they?” firm that boasted it will deliver more Sigfox Internet of Things network coverage than there is 4G coverage across the UK mainland – says it will achieve this by putting IoT aerials on people’s homes.
Gareth Corfield, 19 Jul 2017

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, 4G: Tube comms trials for emergency crews

Transport for London has tentatively started testing 4G on the Tube for emergency services. TfL's CTO said he was not "absolutely confident" it would be complete by January, 2019, however.
Kat Hall, 19 Jul 2017
Recreation of a scene from Star Wars A New Hope: Droids R2-D2 and C-3PO escaping the Tantive IV while under Imperial attack. Figures are 6 inch Hasbro Black Series action figures

Disneyland to become wretched hive of scum and villainy

Disney has revealed plans to create a wretched hive of scum and villainy adjacent to one of its theme parks.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Jul 2017
Google Transfer Appliance
4

Google Cloud plays GTA in Snowball fight with AWS

Google's started a Snowball fight with Amazon Web Services by announcing a “Transfer Appliance” to get data out of your data centre and into its cloud.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Jul 2017
Watson Power7 cluster. Pic: IBM

Watson AI panned, 5¼ years of sales decline ... Does IBM now stand for Inferior Biz Model?

Analysis If there's one thing you can give IBM credit for, it's Big Blue's ability to put on a brave face. Not only has its Watson offering been skewered by Wall Street analysts, it's also just reported its 21st straight quarter of revenue decline.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Jul 2017
The area recommended as a new search zone in the hunt for MH370

Australia releases MH370 sea floor data but search is still off

Geoscience Australia, the nation's agency for recording and sharing geographic and geological data, has released the first tranche of data captured during the search for missing Malaysian Airlines flight MH370.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Jul 2017
Oracle logo, image by GongTo via Shutterstock

Solaris, Java have vulns that let users run riot

Oracle's emitted its quarterly patch dump. As usual it's a whopper, with 308 security fixes to consider.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Jul 2017

SQL Server 2017's first rc lands and – yes! – it runs on Linux

Microsoft's long, gentle embrace of Linux continues with the first release candidate of SQL Server 2017.
The big fish eats the little fish

Rapid7 slurps security orchestration biz Komand

Rapid7 is the latest vendor to jump on the orchestration and automation bandwagon, announcing it's buying upstart outfit Komand to plump out its range.

Nutanix CEO smacks down VMware exec over claim it's a new Enron

The ongoing spat between VMware and Nutanix has flared again, with the latter company's CEO Dheeeraj Pandey hitting Twitter to smack down Lee Caswell, Virtzilla's veep for Products, Storage and Availability.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Jul 2017

Let's harden Internet crypto so quantum computers can't crack it

In case someone manages to make a general purpose quantum computer one day, a group of IETF authors have put forward a proposal to harden Internet key exchange.
Game of Thrones  cartoon
6

Foxtel choked on 65,000 new sign-ups to watch Game of Thrones

Australian pay TV broadcaster Foxtel has explained why it couldn't broadcast the new season Game of Thrones without trouble: more than 60,000 new subscribers swamped its systems.

Guess who's here to tell us we're all totally wrong about net neutrality? Of course, it's Comcast

Analysis Comcast has barreled into the fight over net neutrality by arguing that the current rules impose "onerous" regulations and "substantial costs that undermine investment."
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Jul 2017
8

Iranian duo charged with hacking US missile simulation software biz

Two Iranian nationals have been charged with hacking a US defense technology maker to steal and sell its rocketry simulation software.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Jul 2017
Google G Suite interface
7

Google G-Suite spotted erecting stiff member vetting tool

Stung by phishing attacks aimed at G Suite users earlier this year, Google has armored its cloud with extra security layers.
Thomas Claburn, 18 Jul 2017
gag
9

It's A-OK for FBI agents to silence web giants, says appeals court

Gagging orders in the FBI's National Security Letters are all above board and constitutional, a California court has ruled.
Iain Thomson, 18 Jul 2017

Now your boss can tear you a new Glasshole: Google's techno-specs reborn as biz gear

Google Glass, the Chocolate Factory's shotgun wedding between technology and fashion, debuted to great fanfare on skydivers at Google IO 2012, launched with timidity in May, 2014 and collapsed under the weight of ridicule and naive expectations in January, 2015.
Thomas Claburn, 18 Jul 2017

China's censorship cyber-missiles shoot down pics flying through WhatsApp, chat apps

China has expanded its censorship tools to strip out images from chat messages in transit through its networks.
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Jul 2017
5

Don't let this snap-drag-on: Qualcomm waves white flag to Apple

The CEO of Qualcomm says he hopes to settle his company's licensing dispute with Apple out of court.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Jul 2017

CoinDash crowdfunding hack further dents trust in crypto-trading world

More than $7m was stolen by hackers on Monday from folks investing in a cryptocurrency startup.
John Leyden, 18 Jul 2017
9

The Lord saw that man was wicked and sent a flood of storage news

Another storage news flood has been washing over us. In between the waves we caught our breath and penned this catch-up.
Chris Mellor, 18 Jul 2017
Screengrab from the Thick of IT - Brit govt satirical comedy show. Cast text furiously while in crisis mode.

One-quarter of UK.gov IT projects at high risk of failure

One-quarter of the UK government’s major IT programmes worth a total lifetime cost of £8bn are at high risk of failure, according to a Register analysis of the major project watchdog's annual report of 143 government programmes worth over £455bn.
Kat Hall, 18 Jul 2017
Cat and mouse
4

Me-ow! Ruski tech titan Yandex open-sources ML library CatBoost

Russia's tech behemoth Yandex has open-sourced its first machine learning library, CatBoost.
Andrew Silver, 18 Jul 2017
ASV Global C-Worker 5 robot boat

Air, sea drones put through their paces on Solent testing range

More roboats and autonomous flying machines will be tested around the Solent after a consortium of companies was handed £1.5m to set up a drone test range.
Gareth Corfield, 18 Jul 2017
Man with bun sucks on vape. Photo by shutterstock

UK government's war on e-cigs is over

Comment The government has said that the persecution of the users of e-cigarette technology should stop. The Department of Health today outlined a Five Year Tobacco Control plan for England with the goal that the proportion of the population who smoke tobacco products should fall to 12 per cent by 2022, down from 15.5 per cent today.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Jul 2017
Man weighs himself on imperial scale. photo by shutterstock

Hypervisor kid Scale Computing ups hyperconverged smarts

Entry-level and mid-market KVM-hypervisor-based Scale Computing has upped its HCIA game with dual CPU systems and a tripled disk capacity product.
Chris Mellor, 18 Jul 2017

Global Switch suffers uptime blips at London Docklands DC

Irritated customers of data centre operators Global Switch are complaining about repeated power outages at the firm’s London Docklands data centre.
Gareth Corfield, 18 Jul 2017

UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

Ads depicting manchildren incapable of carrying out basic household tasks, and women in the role of Stepford Wives clearing up their mess, are to be banned in a crackdown by the Advertising Standards Authority.
Kat Hall, 18 Jul 2017
The main room at Continuous Lifecycle

Machine learning, Javascript and search? We’ve expanded our agenda

Events Early bird tickets for MCubed disappear in under two weeks, so you should act now if you want to get up to speed on how to use machine learning and AI in real business, and save hundreds into the bargain.
Team Register, 18 Jul 2017
scott_dietzen_cropped_648

Gartner's Magic Quadrant flashes up pure flash array-pusher prize-plucker. It's Pure

Rickety rectangle house Gartner has promoted Pure Storage to the top of the all-flash array pack in its latest Solid-State Array (SSA) Magic Quadrant, and yanked Kaminario into the leaders' quadrant for the first time.
Chris Mellor, 18 Jul 2017
Frustrated accountant puts head in hands. Photo by Shutterstock

Insurers claim cyber calamities could cost more than Hurricane Sandy

Analysis A study aiming to raise the profile of cyber insurance claims that cloud outages and ransomware outbreaks on the WannaCry scale could cost companies $81.7bn – more than natural disasters like 2012's Hurricane Sandy. That's an awful lot of money, but wait – before you fish out the wallet – how did the authors arrive at these numbers?
John Leyden, 18 Jul 2017

Android-ocalypse postponed: Jide withdraws Remix OS from consumer frontline

So Remix OS won’t be “eating the world” after all. Parent company Jide, founded by ex-Googlers, is repositioning itself as an enterprise vendor, and says its Android-for-PCs (which also runs on cheap ARM hardware) will no longer be sold to consumers any more.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Jul 2017
Burning 5G against dark background

5G is not just a radio: Welcome to the fibre-tastic new mobile world

Analysis When an executive from Nokia, of all companies, said 5G was as much about fibre as wireless, it was clear this was going to be different from previous mobile standards generations. 5G will not be driven by mobile broadband speeds as 4G was.
Wireless Watch, 18 Jul 2017

Another Brexit cliff edge: UK.gov warned over data flows to EU

The UK is risking a security and trade "cliff edge" if it doesn't secure an arrangement that allows data transfer with the European Union to continue after Brexit, a report has said.
Rebecca Hill, 18 Jul 2017
5

Why the Kubernetes Kids can't hurt Bezos' Amazon beast

Kubernetes may be the hawtest thing in container orchestration, but Redmonk analyst James Governor has a different label for it: the "Anyone but Amazon" club. It's an interesting name for a club that includes, ironically, Amazon, but as AWS continues its march to enterprise IT domination, Kubernetes increasingly looks like a rallying cry for erstwhile enemies to combine against a common foe.
Matt Asay, 18 Jul 2017
Man looks at his mobile - mildly surprised or shocked about something. Photo by shutterstock

Thanks for U-turning on biz-killing ban, Ofcom – now cough up, say GSM gateway bods

A former GSM gateway operator is threatening to reactivate a £20m legal claim against Ofcom after the UK regulator's past policies killed his company, according to documents seen by The Register.
Gareth Corfield, 18 Jul 2017

Openreach asks UK what it thinks about 10 million 'full fibre' connections

Openreach has launched a consultation seeking input from industry to create "full fibre" broadband in Blighty - part of its new cuddly, collaborative approach post legal separation from BT.
Kat Hall, 18 Jul 2017
Image: Serazetdinov http://www.shutterstock.com/fr/pic-114819721/stock-vector-illustration-of-a-strong-blast-of-brain.html

Vendors rush to call everything AI even if it isn't, or doesn't help

Many enterprise software vendors “are focused on the goal of simply building and marketing an AI-based product rather than identifying use cases and the business value to customers.”
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jul 2017
hololens

Hot HoloLens models 'shafted by Microsoft'

Microsoft and Jonathan Plumb, program manager at Microsoft Studios, have been sued by Jennifer Kelly, founder of Seattle modeling agency Genesis Industries.
Thomas Claburn, 18 Jul 2017
Knightscope K5

Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

A security robot tasked with patrolling an office building in Washington DC has instead driven itself into a water feature.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jul 2017
mcafee_sharper_648

John McAfee plans to destroy Google. Details? Ummm...

Having tilted at the US presidency without success, John McAfee has picked his last next big windmill: Google.
NASA image - Van Allen Belts

NASA whistles up electron noise from the Van Allen belt

NASA boffins in charge of the agency's Van Allen Belt mission have recorded audio-frequency noise made by energetic electrons emitting what's known as “whistler waves”.
Image by Maythee Voran https://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-3935591p1.html
5

Dow Jones index – of customers, not prices – leaks from AWS repo

Dow Jones has emulated Verizon by saving various internal databases (including Wall Street Journal subscribers) in the cloud without properly securing it.
2

Buzzword buzzkill: Cloud, AI, IoT and edge work in a real product

Artificial intelligence, the internet of things and edge computing are 2017's inescapable buzzwords, and cloud probably has that role for the entire decade. So imagine The Register's surprise when we learned all three are working together in a product you can put to work today.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jul 2017
CSIRO

Dell and Intel see off IBM and POWER to win new Australian super

Dell has won the gig to build Australia's newest supercomputer.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jul 2017

The curious case of a Tesla smash, Autopilot blamed, and the driver's next-day U-turn

On Saturday evening, a Tesla Model S skidded off the road in central Minnesota, in America's Midwest, and ended up on its roof in a swamp.
Iain Thomson, 18 Jul 2017
Toolkit from Shutterstock

FreeRADIUS fragged by fuzzer – by invitation – and fifteen fails found

The folks over at FreeRADIUS took a look at Guido Vranken's work with OpenSSL, liked what they saw, asked him to fuzz the famous login/security server ... and then didn't like what they saw.

US laptops-on-planes ban now applies to just one airport, ends soon

The United States' ban on laptops being carried into airliner cabins is all-but-over, after the nation's Transport Security Administration reduced its list of dodgy airports to just one and signalled that destination awaits inspection before also disappearing from its list.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jul 2017
My Friend Cayla and i-Que robot

2017: The FBI alerts parents to dangers of Internet of Sh*t toys

The FBI issued a warning Monday advising parents to carefully check internet-connected toys for possible privacy and security concerns.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Jul 2017
mayak

Russia launches non-TERRIFYING satellite that focuses Sun's solar rays onto Earth

Skywatchers are going to see a new light in the heavens this week after the successful launch of the Russian satellite Mayak this past weekend.
Iain Thomson, 17 Jul 2017
5

Dev to El Reg: Making web pages pretty is harder than building crypto

+Comment An Australian computer scientist working in Thailand has offered his contribution to Australia's cryptography debate by creating a public-key crypto demonstrator in less than a day, using public APIs and JavaScript.

Apache says 'no' to Facebook code libraries

The Apache Foundation has declared that none of its new software projects can include Facebook's booby-trapped BSD-licensed code.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Jul 2017

Stop this crazy crusade! Google, Facebook, Microsoft, Amazon scold FCC over net neutrality

The world's largest internet companies lambasted the FCC in a formal filing today, telling America's telecom regulator to kill its plans to ditch net neutrality rules.
Kieren McCarthy, 17 Jul 2017

AI bots will kill us all! Or at least may seriously inconvenience humans

Analysis Elon Musk – the CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and Neuralink, not to mention co-chairman of OpenAI and founder of The Boring Company – is once again warning that artificial intelligence threatens humanity.
Thomas Claburn, 17 Jul 2017
angry phone user

Ew! HTC jams pop-up adverts into people's smartphone keyboards

HTC, which needs all the love it can get these days, has enraged its customers by bunging adverts into the onscreen keyboard on its phones.
Iain Thomson, 17 Jul 2017

The Atari retro games box is real… sort of

Atari has continued its teaser-trailer approach to what is purported to be a retro version of its classic games console.
Kieren McCarthy, 17 Jul 2017
1

Cisco plugs command-injection hole in WebEx Chrome, Firefox plugins

Cisco has patched its Chrome and Firefox WebEx plugins to kill a bug that allows evil webpages to execute commands on computers.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Jul 2017
Myspace screengrab.  Editorial credit: thelefty / Shutterstock.com

Forgotten your Myspace password? Just a name, username, DoB will get you in – and into anyone else's, too

Myspace's account recovery process is hopelessly flawed, according to a security researcher.
John Leyden, 17 Jul 2017
shutterstock_225964027-pizz

Juicy fine for Bradford firm after it blurts one million spam texts

Bradford-based loans company Provident Personal Credit has been fined £80,000 for squeezing out almost a million nuisance texts.
Rebecca Hill, 17 Jul 2017
Google, photo by lightpoet via Shutterstock

Google must cough up contact info for 8,000 employees in gender discrimination case

Google has been ordered to hand over personal details of 8,000 employees as part of an ongoing US Labor Department investigation into equal pay.
Andrew Silver, 17 Jul 2017
Football goes into the net/ photo by shutterstock
6

Western Digital wins California court skirmish against Toshiba

A California court has told Toshiba not to transfer its flash memory joint venture interests to anyone else without advance notice to WDC subsidiary SanDisk, so that the issue is preserved for arbitration.
Chris Mellor, 17 Jul 2017
Jodie WHITTAKER

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

The timelord of Doctor Who, a man since 1963, will be portrayed by a woman – actress Jodie Whittaker – for the first time.
Gavin Clarke, 17 Jul 2017
Dani_Golan
6

Flash firm Kaminario lays off half of UK team

Kaminario has left UK sales in the hands of an sales engineer and a chief technology officer following the redundancy of more than half of the local staff, a number of sources have told The Register.
Chris Mellor, 17 Jul 2017
z14_detail

Presto crypto: IBM releases gruntier, faster Z14 mainframe

IBM has launched its latest, newest, biggest, baddest mainframe, the z14 system.
Chris Mellor, 17 Jul 2017
Big popes, images via Shutterstock

Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

Jesus has miraculously survived a great weight from the heavens that should have crushed him to death, according to Florida TV.
Gareth Corfield, 17 Jul 2017

Media mogul Murdoch's 'Sky dataset' swallow poses 'grave threat'

The proposed £11.7bn takeover of Sky by Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox is a "grave threat" to the democratic process, members of the UK's House of Lords have claimed.
Rebecca Hill, 17 Jul 2017
jail

Nearly three-quarters of convicted TV Licence non-payers are women

Nearly three-quarters of TV Licensing criminal convictions in the UK last year were secured against women, according to data gathered by an anti-Telly Tax campaigner.
Gareth Corfield, 17 Jul 2017

Facebook users pwnd by phone with account recovery vulnerability

Facebook account recovery using pre-registered mobile numbers is poorly implemented and open to abuse, according to critic James Martindale.
John Leyden, 17 Jul 2017

UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

The government is poised to usher in mandatory porn checks this week, with reports it will require users to provide details from a credit card to prove they are over 18.
Kat Hall, 17 Jul 2017
Engine photo via Shutterstock

The hidden horse power driving Machine Learning models

Machine Learning is becoming the only real available method to perform many modern computational tasks in near real time. Machine Vision, speech recognition and natural language processing have all proved difficult to crack without ML techniques.
Andrew Cobley, 17 Jul 2017
Oracle corporate HQ

UK.gov embraces Oracle's cloud: Pragmatism or defeatism?

Analysis Oracle recently launched its dedicated Government Cloud in the UK - duly wheeling out the Home Office as an example of an early adopter. But to what extent are its new services just vendor lock-in under a cloudwash veneer or a change for the better?
Kat Hall, 17 Jul 2017
Robot talks unto robot photo via Shutterstock

Brit neural net pioneer just revolutionised speech recognition all over again

Profile One of the pioneers of making what's called "machine learning" work in the real world is on the comeback trail.
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Jul 2017
Sinclair ZX Spectrum

Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

Rock deities Radiohead have snuck a program for the Sinclair ZX Spectrum into a re-release of their seminal 1997 album “OK Computer”.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Jul 2017
Data_image_via_Shutterstock
2

Redis releases respectable revision, tiptoes through tricky political terminology

Redis, the moderately popular in-memory open-source database has just hit its 4.0.0 milestone, to the delight of some.
Thomas Claburn, 17 Jul 2017
LOL

Three Microsoft Outlook patches unpatched, users left to DIY

Microsoft has withdrawn at least three of the patches released at the end of June and early July, but left it to users to find out for themselves.

SAP rips and replaces South African bosses amid corruption probe

SAP has installed an acting managing director and acting chief financial officer at its scandal-hit South Africa subsidiary.
Iain Thomson, 17 Jul 2017

Google unleashes 20m lab-created blood-thirsty freaks on a city. And this is a good thing, it says

Google’s healthcare arm Verily announced just before the weekend it will release twenty million sterile male mosquitoes into the wild, in Fresno County, California.
Katyanna Quach, 17 Jul 2017
7

Ashley Madison throws US$11.2m on the bed to mop up leak affair

Dating site for cheaters Ashley Madison has thrown US$11.2 million on the bed to make its 2015 data leak go away.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Jul 2017
Penguins surround laptop. Pic by Shutterstock

Linus Torvalds may have damned systemd with faint praise

Linux 4.13 is under way. Linus Torvalds pulled one of his semi-surprises by announcing release candidate one on Saturday, rather than issuing his usual Sunday evening missive.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Jul 2017

Burglary in mind? Easy, just pwn the home alarm

It's Monday, and infosec-watchers are showing their age by calling internet of things security disclosures “a broken record”. This time, it's a home security system that's remotely p0wnable.
Windows Server 2016
9

Microsoft reveals first Windows Server Insider Build

Microsoft's revealed the first fruits of its plan to deliver twice-yearly updates to Windows Server by revealing the first-ever Insider build of the OS.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Jul 2017
DARPA robosat concept image
7

DARPA's robot sat-fixing program survives sueball strike

Aerospace company Orbital ATK has failed in a legal bid to halt a DARPA contract for robotic satellite maintenance devices and will instead see if the White House can help it to bring the work to the private sector.

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