The Week in Summary

NRAO's artist impression of PSR J1930-1852

High school students' record-setting pulsar STUMPS BOFFINS

A bunch of high-school students has turned up a record-setter in the world of astro-boffinry: a pulsar with the biggest-ever orbit around a neutron star.
1

Mozilla to whack HTTP sites with feature-ban stick

Insecure websites will be barred from using new hardware features and could have existing tools revoked, if Mozilla goes ahead with a push towards HTTPS.
Darren Pauli, 04 May 2015
7

OMFG – Emojis are killing off traditional 'net slang

Emjoi are killing off traditional internet slang, according to a probe by Instagram's engineering team.
Simon Sharwood, 04 May 2015
NASA's SGI rackable SCUs

NASA on track to triple Discover super's grunt

The rolling upgrade at NASA's Centre for Climate Simulation (NCCS) is nearing completion, with the agency just about ready to flick the switch on the second of three new SGI systems.
9

Australia cracks tech giants' tax dodge code

Australia's Economics References Committee, which has been conducting hearings into corporate tax avoidance, looks to have made a breakthrough by eliciting a new method for taxing multinationals from the nation's Taxation Office.
Simon Sharwood, 04 May 2015
1

Carders crack Hard Rock casino

Carders have hit the Las Vegas' Hard Rock Hotel and Casino stealing credit card numbers, names, and addresses, according to reports
Darren Pauli, 04 May 2015
Burning copyright symbol. Photo by: Martin Fisch http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/ on flickr"
6

Kill all geoblocks says Internet Society of Australia

Geoblocking content should be banned under international trade treaties, according to the Internet Society of Australia.
Tesla powerwall

Tesla Powerwall: not much cheaper and also a bit wimpier than existing batteries

It's pretty and batteries are ugly – but Tesla's Powerwall is more like an incremental change than a radical disruption.
Funnel of cash. Credit: via SXC – http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Leonardini
3

Dropbox sets up PO box in Ireland to handle non-US services

Dropbox has joined the ranks of tech companies domiciling services in Ireland.

Good luck displacing Windows 7, Microsoft, it's still growing

If it's the first Monday of the month, and it is, it must be time to have a look at desktop operating system market share as recorded by StatCounter and Netmarketshare.
Simon Sharwood, 03 May 2015

Stubborn 'won't fix' Google U-turns on Chromecast vid judder twitching-eye blunder

Google has surprised European fans of its Chromecast TV dongle by suddenly acknowledging a screw-up with the vid-streaming device, after effectively stonewalling complaints late last year.
Kelly Fiveash, 03 May 2015
Angela Merkel's eyes
9

Public prosecutor waves big stick at German spies over NSA data slurp claims

Germany was in a tizz this weekend, in the wake of spying allegations that could harm the country's thorny relationship with surveillance of its citizens.
Kelly Fiveash, 03 May 2015
8

Apathy continues to overwhelm effort to create an internet ungoverned by America

The effort to create a new global internet governance body has been dealt another blow after just 30 people responded to a critical month-long comment period, a third of which were hostile to the program.
Kieren McCarthy, 03 May 2015
Bostrom drinking coffee. Image credit: Ken Tancwell under creative commons attribution-share alike 4.0 international licencelicence

Meet the man who inspired Elon Musk’s fear of the robot uprising

Exclusive Interview Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom is quite a guy. The University of Oxford professor is known for his work on existential risk, human enhancement ethics, superintelligence risks and transhumanism. He also reckons the probability that we are all living in a Matrix-esque computer simulation is quite high.
Sorry we're closed
5

'Not paying for any of that music was probably a mistake. Buh bye!'

QuoTW This week brought us faulty dreamliners, a frigid Pluto pic and a very unfortunate Facebook captcha.
Team Register, 03 May 2015

Bonny Scottish post-pub nosh neckfiller: Rumbledethumps

It's been far too long since we at the El Reg post-pub nosh team ventured north of the border in search of the very best wobbly dining haute cuisine, and indeed it was way back in 2012 that we served readers the very pinnacle of Scottish fusion cuisine – the quite remarkable haggis pakora.
Lester Haines, 03 May 2015

Bruce Schneier's Data and Goliath – solution or part of the problem?

Page File Special Think of some of the ways the Enlightenment helped advance the human individual. The ability to shape your identity. The ability to own and control your stuff. Economic autonomy. All three help to define the modern world, they’re ways we know that ‘now’ is not like ‘before’. All three are founded on the sanctity of the individual. And all three are interlinked.
Andrew Orlowski, 03 May 2015
Microsoft Clippy

From Manchester to Microsoft – missing mum :-(

The eXpat files Welcome to another eXpat Files, in which Reg readers tell of leaving home and hearth for career upgrades only available elsewhere.
Simon Sharwood, 03 May 2015
The Queen and Prince Philip visit Bletchley Park

Why OH WHY is economics so bleedin' awful, then?

Worstall @ the Weekend As Her Majesty the Queen remarked a few years back, why was it that no economist actually saw the crash coming? There's actually two answers to that. First, the cute one: that sort of violent change cannot be predicted. If it could be predicted then prices would move before it happened, meaning that it would have already happened. This is a bit cute, though, however true it might be.
Tim Worstall, 03 May 2015
David Goldberg. Photograph by Kevin Moloney/Fortune Brainstorm TECH
5

Husband of Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg, dies suddenly

SurveyMonkey boss David Goldberg – the husband of Facebook's chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg – died suddenly on Friday night.
Kelly Fiveash, 02 May 2015

Intellectual property laws in China, India are flawed, claims US govt without irony

The US government is looking to shame China and India for their lax attitudes toward intellectual property law enforcement.
Shaun Nichols, 02 May 2015
Munchkin Adventure Time

Cylon is golden: Backstabbing bank holiday board games

Product Roundup The Bank Holiday weekend is upon us, so why not prepare for a wet weekend, as is the tradition, and go in search of some backstabbing board games? These games can involve working co-operatively with my fellow players, which can be rewarding, but you can always change your mind and there’s nothing like sadistic satisfaction of pretending I’m not a Cylon.
Lucy Orr, 02 May 2015
Man writing a letter
2

Welcome to the family ... Microsoft licks nib of Surface pen maker N-trig

Microsoft has scooped up Surface Pro 3 pen maker N-trig, after partnering with the outfit for several years.
Kelly Fiveash, 02 May 2015
Tracey Thorn

Poseidon's Wake, Naked at the Albert Hall and Farewell Kabul

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston reviews the latest from the literary world with Alastair Reynolds' latest – the final instalment in a sci-fi trilogy. Tracey Thorn delivers an amusing and insightful perspective on the lot of the singer, and journalist Christina Lamb gives a personal account of her life and work in Afghanistan.
Mark Diston, 02 May 2015
Coffee Festival Brick Lane

London Coffee Festival: Caffeine, tech and martinis on show in Shoreditch

As many Reg readers will know, between the start and end of a project there’s often an awful lot of coffee. However you make it, a coffee is essential for many of us. It’s become such a part of our life – in many places supplanting the good old cuppa – that there’s a huge industry of coffee shops, roaster, machine makers and so on. All of those are on show at the London Coffee Festival, in Shoreditch’s Old Truman Brewery this weekend.
Nigel Whitfield, 02 May 2015
8

Unfriended: Odious screen-teens get theirs in this flat horror

Film Review Few movie genres see as much innovation as horror, pioneer of the found-footage style and master of the macabre comedy. Just because something is new and clever doesn’t actually mean it will make a better film.
scanners

Shields up! Shields up! ASTRONAUTS flying to MARS will arrive BRAIN DAMAGED, boffins claim

A NASA-funded study into the effects of long-term space travel has a troubling conclusion: astronauts going to Mars could arrive with brain damage.
Iain Thomson, 02 May 2015
School of Rock

Why should I learn by ORAL tradition? Where's the DOCUMENTATION?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The eye-rolling comes first. This is followed by a resigned sagging of the shoulders. Then comes a theatrical slump forward, often accompanied by an equally melodramatic groan, as each user in turn puts head on desk and covers same with arms.
Alistair Dabbs, 02 May 2015
The Valley - code

Ex-Goldman Sachs programmer found guilty of code theft … again

An ex-Goldman Sachs programmer has for the second time been found guilty of stealing code from the vampiric financial giant.
Shaun Nichols, 02 May 2015
Unlocked padlock

'Just follow the damn Constitution!' FBI, DoJ skewered over demands for crypto backdoors

Vid FBI agents and US Department of Justice officials perhaps thought they were in for an easy ride during a congressional hearing on crime, terrorism and encryption. If so, they were mistaken.
Iain Thomson, 01 May 2015
OpenStack
2

OpenStack Kilo arrives with an Ironic twist (no, really)

The eleventh version of OpenStack appeared on the project's official download servers on Thursday, arriving on time and bringing with it hundreds of new features for cloud-builders.
Neil McAllister, 01 May 2015
Redditor guinne55fan's arm tattoo

Apple snaps in crap wriststrap's tat mishap flap: Watch IS affected by TATTOOS

Apple has confirmed that its Watch gizmo does not work well on tattooed skin.
Shaun Nichols, 01 May 2015
Spotify
6

Goldman Sachs gives Spotify its mixtape. And by mixtape, we mean a suitcase with $350m in it

Spotify has reportedly raised $350m in a new round of funding that puts an $8bn valuation on the London-headquartered company.
Kieren McCarthy, 01 May 2015
Simulated views of the world as seen through HoloLens

Microsoft HoloLens or Hollow Lens? El Reg stares down cyber-specs' code

Build 2015 The first rule of Microsoft's HoloLens is you do not talk about HoloLens. When you're given a demo, you may not take photos, you may not shoot video, and you may not record audio.
Neil McAllister, 01 May 2015
Windows 10

New Windows 10 will STAGGER to its feet, says Microsoft OS veep

Build 2015 At the Build shindig in San Francisco this week, Joe Belfiore – Microsoft's corporate veep for operating systems – talked The Register through the release of Windows 10: when it will arrive, how it will arrive, and why you should use it.
Tim Anderson, 01 May 2015

NSA-restraining US law edges closer to reality, leaves just 6.81 billion under mass surveillance

A law bill to mildly curb the NSA's blanket surveillance of innocent Americans has taken an important step toward being passed.
Iain Thomson, 01 May 2015
8

Quantum CPU upstart D-Wave drills into physics simulations to boost vital magnetic shielding

Physics upstart D-Wave has shed some light on its work simulating quantum computer processors to improve their performance and capabilities.
Team Register, 01 May 2015
3

How ICANN pressures 'net engineers to give it behind-the-scenes control of the web

Behind-the-scenes efforts by ICANN's lawyers to force the internet community to grant it perpetual control of critical internet functions have been exposed.
Kieren McCarthy, 01 May 2015
U2 on your iStuffs

Not pro-Bono: Russian MP wants Apple to face stiff action for cramming 'gay' U2 into iCrevices

Russian prosecutors have been asked to probe Apple to see if the American giant broke Russia's "gay propaganda" laws by forcibly thrusting ludicrous boy band U2's album Songs of Innocence into iThings.
Shaun Nichols, 01 May 2015
A US Army M1A1 Abrams tank heads out on a mission from Forward Operating Base MacKenzie in Iraq on October 27, 2004
3

Docker ascendancy's ignites a flak-in-the-box cloud arms race

Containerisation has taken the data centre by storm. Led by Docker, a start-up that's on a mission to make development and deployment as simple as it should be, Linux containers are fast changing the way developers work and devops teams deploy.
windows 10 microsoft one windows

iOS and Android apps on Windows 10: How is this supposed to work?

Build 2015 Microsoft has shared more details of its plans to enable Android and iOS apps to be ported to Windows 10 at its Build developer event in San Francisco.
Tim Anderson, 01 May 2015

Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse chap in 'desperate' cash shortage

As the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse nears the finishing line of the Live Below the Line challenge, Stateside member Richard Jacob reports that he and his family are "desperately short of money", reduced to just $1.52 to fuel them to the finishing line.
Lester Haines, 01 May 2015
Twitter for Mac New
3

Oi, Twitter! Sign this or we won't talk to you, growls EU

Twitter could soon find itself cold-shouldered by top European law-makers.
Jennifer Baker, 01 May 2015
Terminator head

ZuckerBorg assimilates Microsoft boffins into potentially world-threatening FART

The ZuckerBorg has assimilated yet more humans from academia and industry into its Facebook Artificial-Intelligence Research Team (FART). Facebook claims their work will focus on several aspects of machine learning, with applications to image, speech and natural language understanding.

El Reg merch tentacle mulls retro LOHAN T-shirt

The chaps and chapettes at El Reg merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion have been strapping a few ideas to the apparel ducking stool to see if they float, and have just sent over a couple of pics of a proposed Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) T-shirt in a retro comic book stylee.
Lester Haines, 01 May 2015
Wall of Spam. Pic: freezelight

Wordpress munching contagion turns Linux servers into spam bots

The Mumblehard malware is turning Linux and BSD server into spam-spewing zombies.
John Leyden, 01 May 2015

Age guessing with Microsoft is FUN! Now give us your metadata

Microsoft has unwrapped a metadata-slurping website powered by user-uploaded pictures which pretends to be a fun age-guessing game.
6

Google Password Alert could be foiled with just 7 lines of JavaScript

Google has been obliged to revise its Password Alert anti-phishing protection just hours after releasing it when security researchers showed how the technology was easily circumvented.
John Leyden, 01 May 2015
SAP HANA
3

Pure Storage flashes SAP credentials for HANA platform

Pure Storage is flashing its SAP Credentials in the enterprise with news it’s certified for HANA, the in-memory database for SAPpers.
Chris Mellor, 01 May 2015
Derailed train wagon. Pic: New York MTA

Major London rail station reveals system passwords during TV documentary

Updated What looks like system passwords at one of London's busiest railway stations – printed and attached to the top of a station controller's monitor – were exposed to viewers during a BBC documentary on Wednesday night.
John Leyden, 01 May 2015
Microsoft Build 2015

Inside the guts of Nano Server, Microsoft's tiny new Cloud OS

Build 2015 Engineers from Microsoft's Windows Server team took the stage at the Build developer conference in San Francisco this week to share more details on Nano Server, the upcoming micro-sized version of the OS aimed at cloud deployments.
Neil McAllister, 01 May 2015
hpc
4

Do you have the intellectual bandwidth to attend ISC 2015?

Promo Have you always thought HPC was just for the guys in the white coats? Well this year’s ISC High Performance conference should definitively change your mind, with five days that will cover how what’s been happening in the labs is going to affect what’s going to happen in your business.
Team Register, 01 May 2015
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number
4

Console yourself: How the PS4 Spring Fever indies stack up

Game Theory It wasn’t that long ago that Microsoft dominated the world of home console indie games, with the Xbox 360’s Summer of Arcade promotion bringing us the likes of Shadow Complex and Limbo, year-in, year-out.
Mike Plant, 01 May 2015
wolves_shutterstock_compressed

One bit to rule them all? Forget it – old storage types never die

Block storage, file storage and object storage are all frequently bandied about terms in the storage world. They are fundamentally different, and yet inextricably intertwined. Choosing the right storage today means understanding the differences between these different storage classes, and how they can be made redundant and/or highly available.
Trevor Pott, 01 May 2015

EU Commish is rather pleased German BND and NSA thought it worth spying on

According to local media reports Thursday, German intelligence agency BND (the Bundesnachrichtendienst) has helped the US National Security Agency (NSA) spy on the European Commission and French authorities since 2008.
Jennifer Baker, 01 May 2015
Apple a day  by Robert Holf https://www.flickr.com/photos/robbertholf/ CC 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Samsung back on top of smartmobe market

Samsung's sales may be sliding nastily, but box-counter IDC says the company is back on top of the world when it comes to smartphone shipments.
Simon Sharwood, 01 May 2015
Bomba alarm clock

Ubuntu to shutter year-old clock unlock bug

Ubuntu's latest edition contains a local access escalation flaw first reported a year ago that allows users to tinker with the system clock to become a root user.
Darren Pauli, 01 May 2015
Boeing 787 10x

Boeing 787 software bug can shut down planes' generators IN FLIGHT

The US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has issued a new airworthiness directive (PDF) for Boeing's 787 because a software bug shuts down the plane's electricity generators every 248 days.
Simon Sharwood, 01 May 2015
Mounties

Mounties nab Canadian woman, 27, in webcam hack shenanigans bust

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police has nabbed a Canadian woman believed to have originated a botnet which she used to recreationally terrorise victims.

Oracle paltry patch opens MySQL man-in-the-middle diddle

Adam Goodman of Duo Security has found a vulnerability in the 'vast majority' of Oracle MySQL databases that allows SSL to be stripped, exposing sensitive data to man-in-the-middle attackers.
Darren Pauli, 01 May 2015
Tesla powerwall

Tesla reveals Powerwall battery packs for homes, Powerpacks for cities

Billionaire biz baron Elon Musk has revealed Tesla's long-expected battery products and claimed they put an end to humanity's production of carbon dioxide as a by-product of energy generation.
Simon Sharwood, 01 May 2015
Cthulu springs from desktop printer

Strange alien-like life zones found beneath Antarctic glacier

Back in March, we reported on “Blood Falls”, a peculiar spot in Antarctica stained red by hypersaline brine.
Simon Sharwood, 01 May 2015
Cheat by https://www.flickr.com/photos/sohelparvezhaque/ CC 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
2

CHEATER! Test labs out AV vendor for using rival's engine

Chinese anti-virus vendor Qihoo 360 has been caught cheating on benchmarking tests by submitting versions running A-V engines from rival Bitdefender.
Darren Pauli, 01 May 2015
Sharks by https://www.flickr.com/photos/enriquecespedes/ CC 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/

Grooveshark closes, blames 'serious mistake' of not paying for music

Music streaming service Grooveshark has closed its doors, after admitting hadn't acquired rights to the music it streamed.
Simon Sharwood, 01 May 2015
FAme_the_Musical
3

If flash storage achieves FaME, will it live forever?

Data access latency has topped the IT sin charts lately and networked flash arrays have been replacing disk drives, doing away with those drives’ rotational delays.
Chris Mellor, 01 May 2015
Blue Origins

Amazon boss Bezos' Blue Origins declares test flight 'flawless' ... if you overlook one snafu

Video Blue Origins, the rocket company started by Amazon supremo Jeff Bezos, has staged its first test flight – with mixed results.
Iain Thomson, 01 May 2015
Facebook Beacon
3

Facebook bug gobbles pics in posts, web publishers scream

Facebook users are complaining that The Social NetworkTM is experiencing a problem that stops people posting pictures.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Interim logo for Digital Transformation Office
4

Turnbull's Digital Transformation Office is actually working!

The pet project of Australia's communications minister Malcolm Turnbull, a Digital Transformation Office (DTO) modelled on the deeply flawed UK Government Digital Service (GDS), appears to be working.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Microsoft's Joe Belfiore, speaking at Build 2015

Who thinks Microsoft Edge SUCKS? Erm, Microsoft

Microsoft relaunched Internet Explorer this week as "Edge" – and the software behemoth appears already prepared to accept that its super new browser may absolutely suck.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Apr 2015
Apple Watch Sport

What is Apple's idiot tax on Watch these days? 'About $265 or 80%'

A teardown of the Apple Watch has found that Sir Jony's arm candy costs a grand total of $83.70 to build, apparently.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Apr 2015
messenger

NASA's Messenger craft SMASHES into Mercury: See ya later, alien crater

Pic NASA's Messenger space probe has slammed into the planet Mercury at 3.9km per second (8,724mph) – creating the first human-made crater on the innermost planet of our solar system.
Iain Thomson, 30 Apr 2015
6

Confidential information exposed over 300 times in ICANN security snafu

Two months after claiming there was "no indication" that confidential information was exposed in a security cock-up, domain name overseer ICANN has admitted it happened on at least 330 occasions.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Apr 2015
Woman on phone. Pic: Carolyn Coles
4

AT&T fined for gouging Uncle Sam on phone plans for poor folk

AT&T has been fined $10.9m by US regulator the FCC for overcharging the government on phone plans for poor people.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Apr 2015
NetApp_AFA_FAS8080_SPC_1
8

NetApp's all-flash FAS array is easily in the top, er, six SPC-1 machines

NetApp has published an all-flash FAS8080 EX SPC-1 benchmark report [PDF]: 685,281 IOPS, $2.68/IOPS, and 1.23-millisecond response at 100 per cent load. This is the fifth-fastest SPC-1 result in our files in IOPS terms.
Chris Mellor, 30 Apr 2015
Raiders of the lost ark

Airbus to sue NSA, German spies accused of swiping tech secrets

European aerospace giant Airbus is promising legal action over claims its top blueprints were stolen by German spies and given to America's intelligence agencies.
Iain Thomson, 30 Apr 2015
7

Apple and IBM foist fondleslabs on Japanese elders in Big Data snatch

Apple and IBM have jointly announced a scheme under which they will hand out five million iPads to elderly folks in Japan over the next five years and reap a mighty harvest of bigdata thereby.
Windows 10 IoT Core

Ha! Win 10 preview for Raspberry Pi 2 pops out of the Microsoft oven

Build 2015 Microsoft has released a preview of Windows 10 Internet of Things Core for the diminutive ARM-Cortex-powered Raspberry Pi 2 and the MinnowBoard Max, a computer driven by an Intel Bay Trail Atom.
Tim Anderson, 30 Apr 2015
Wolfenstein 3D

You can now play thousands of classic DOS games on Twitter. Goodbye, productivity

The Internet Archive is sharing 2,600 blast-from-the-past DOS games playable in web browsers via Twitter in what is possibly an anarchist plot to strangle global productivity.
Newspapers

Whither the PC? Mobes, slabs drive majority of traffic for top news sites

Most of the top news websites get more traffic from handheld gadgets than desktop computers – a not-so-shocking result that serves to underline the soaring sales of phones, and possibly the emergence of today's clickbaity 30-second-attention-span media.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Apr 2015
6

ICANN's bill for clawing global DNS from Uncle Sam: $7m and counting

Domain-name overseer ICANN is failing in two fundamental tasks, according to the US government, while spending millions of dollars of internet users' money trying to take control of the critical IANA technical contract.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Apr 2015
LG G4 with leather backs

Snapdragon 810 chip doesn't overheat, jilted Qualcomm sniffs at LG

Qualcomm is hitting back at the suggestion its Snapdragon 810 system-on-chip overheats, while carefully making sure it doesn't call its customer LG a cheapskate.
Simon Rockman, 30 Apr 2015
7

Heroic Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse tighten their belts

It's day four of the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse's five-day Live Below the Line challenge, and while everyone is on course to triumphantly cross the finishing line tomorrow night, it's not all plain sailing.
Lester Haines, 30 Apr 2015
Kim Kardashian. Pic: Eva Rinaldi
3

Bulging booty bird Kim Kardashian date game biz adds Britney Spears to bottom line

Chinese social network Tencent has agreed to buy 14.6 per cent of mobile game developer Glu Mobile for $126m.
Simon Rockman, 30 Apr 2015
michael_oleary_ryanair_650

Ryanair stung after $5m Shanghai'd from online fuel account

Budget airline Ryanair has fallen victim to a $5m hacking scam.
John Leyden, 30 Apr 2015
TomTom MyDrive app

TomTom MyDrive brings satnav syncing to PCs and mobiles

Pics In Amsterdam yesterday, TomTom finally joined the dots on its consumer navigation portfolio with the launch of MyDrive. With the rise of smartphone navigation or journey planning on the desktop, TomTom’s new service combines these methods with its own Go series of satnavs, enabling synchronisation between devices.
Bob Dormon, 30 Apr 2015

Burger me! Microsoft's chainsaw rampage through sacred cow herd

Analysis Microsoft sent so many sacred cows to the abattoir yesterday that April 29th 2015 may well go down in corporate folklore as “Sacred Cow Day”. Or will it be “Mad Cow Day”?
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Apr 2015

Instagram's HTTPS cert expires, millions of crap photographers panic

Instagram's SSL certificate has expired, showing the urine-filled-swimming-goggles-vision site's supposed commitment to security seems to have been a bit of a filter-job.

UK exam board wants kids to be able to Google answers

Poll The Oxford, Cambridge and RSA (OCR) exam board wants pupils to be allowed to use Google to search for answers in exams.
Simon Rockman, 30 Apr 2015
Terry Myerson, exec veep at Microsoft

ONE BEELLION Windows 10 devices?! OH REALLY

Windows chief Terry Myerson in the thick of friendlies at Microsoft’s Build conference has predicted one billion devices will be running Windows 10 in its first two to three years.
Gavin Clarke, 30 Apr 2015
Flash Gordon
4

Take time to get to know the flash you think you love

We have looked at what workloads drive enterprise flash adoption and why picking the right storage medium for the job matters.
Trevor Pott, 30 Apr 2015
Siemens GSM-R train cab radio. Pic: Joshua Brown

UK rail comms are safer than mobes – for now – say infosec bods

Analysis Last week's warning that Britain's railway systems could be susceptible to hacking has triggered a debate among security experts.
John Leyden, 30 Apr 2015

Brits send Star Wars X-wing fighter to the stratosphere

A couple of Brits have made a cheeky pitch for tickets to the premiere of forthcoming Star Wars flick The Force Awakens by sending a model X-wing fighter into the stratosphere.
Lester Haines, 30 Apr 2015

BATWINGED DINO-PIGEON causes FLAP in bone-boffinry circles

Chinese dinoboffins have announced the discovery of one of the oddest creatures that may have ever attempted flight. The critter lived during the Jurassic Period, about 160 million years ago, 10 million years before the appearance of the first bird.

High-speed powerline: Home connectivity without the cables

Breaking Fad Whether you’re a fan of the Internet of Things (IoT) or just a user of home technology, for many Reg readers IP connectivity is something that you probably want just about everywhere in your home, whether it’s to WhatsApp from the bath, or for things like media streamers and smart TVs in the living room.
Nigel Whitfield, 30 Apr 2015
Microsoft Edge, the new web browser

Windows 10 hands on: Build 10074 is for the brave - but it's pretty snazzy

Build 2015 Microsoft has released preview Build 10074 of Windows 10 at its Build developer event in San Francisco.
Tim Anderson, 30 Apr 2015
Apple Watch Sport

Apple Watch WRISTJOB SHORTAGE: It's down to BAD VIBES

Apple scrapped a whole batch of Apple Watches after finding a fault with the wristjob's vibrating Taptic Engine, say reports.
Gun slinger, image: Shutterstock

Wolfram bros seek code slinger posse for IBM and Google round-up

The brothers behind the powerful Wolfram Alpha search platform and Wolfram programming language want code-slingers to take on IBM and Google.
Gavin Clarke, 30 Apr 2015
Grant Shapps, Conservative Party chairman. Pic: Sportsfile Web Summit

Is Grant Shapps being naughty on Wikipedia – or did a Lib Dem stitch him up?

The story of Grant Shapps and Wikipedia – which dominated news coverage of the General Election for a whole day last week – shows that new media can make a monkey out of respectable old media – even with a tale that falls far short of old media’s standards of proof.
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Apr 2015
france

France wants to make les citoyens' health data available to world+dog

Plans to centralise the storage of health data in France are being considered by the French parliament.
OUT-LAW.COM, 30 Apr 2015
Printed key

SHA-1 crypto hash retirement fraught with problems

The road towards phasing out the ageing SHA-1 crypto hash function is likely to be littered with potholes, security experts warn.
John Leyden, 30 Apr 2015
eBay
3

eBay year-long patch stall a little XSSive, researcher says

Clarified Security researcher Jaanus Kääp has disclosed a year-old cross-site scripting (XSS) bug in eBay's messaging service that lets attackers target victims through messages.
Darren Pauli, 30 Apr 2015
Intel Atom x5 and x7 Processors.

Intel has ambitions to turn modems into virtual servers and reinvent broadband

Intel has assembled a stack of technologies it thinks can give broadband modems a brain implant and change the nature of home broadband services.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
pluto

NASA spies weird glow from Pluto's FRIGID pole

Pic NASA's New Horizons space probe has beamed back photos that seem to show that dwarf planet Pluto has a strange effulgent spot on its pole.
Iain Thomson, 30 Apr 2015
The original Sinclair ZX Spectrum

Oxford chaps solve problem in 1982 Sinclair Spectrum manual

Oxford's Museum of the History of Science have tackled, and solved, a problem posed in the 1982 manual for the ZX Spectrum.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Care Package NSFW by https://www.flickr.com/photos/theredproject/ CC 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

VERY NSFW Reg reader Mike W has sent us something rather interesting from Facebook, which asked him to prove he's human with the test below that asked him to pick out pictures of butterflies. We'll explain the white space at grid position A2 after the image.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Uni Geneva Quantum RNG
8

Geneva boffins make light work of random numbers

“How good is your random number generator?” is a pretty ticklish question in cryptography that a bunch of Swiss quantum bods have set out to answer.
9

Ransomware scum find the sweet spot to coin it without copping it

RSA 2015 RSA chief information security officer David Martin says ransomware scum may have reached the sweet spot between extorting users and avoiding law enforcement heat.
Darren Pauli, 30 Apr 2015
Troll. Pic:  Anna Bialkowska

You can't keep a Secret and nor can anyone else: the app is closing

In an almost-unprecedented move, a silicon valley founder is exiting a company before it's burned all its money: anonymous chat app Secret is looking for a graceful exit.
Cuts to orange
6

VCE now competing with VMware

VCE, the converged infrastructure lovechild of Cisco, EMC and VMware, is starting to get into interesting competitive tangles.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Ethernet by https://www.flickr.com/photos/razor512/ CC2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Brocade adds more Ethernet to storage

Brocade's announced another chunk of its IP strategy, this time with an eye to drawing network-attached storage (NAS) devices into its warm embrace.
Verizon

Verizon tags majors to craft SDN future

Verizon has taken the leap into the world of software-defined networking, announcing a strategy and its initial partner list for a multi-year rollout.
Ouya
8

Android gaming platform Ouya is down to its last life

The low-cost Android gaming startup Ouya is on the brink of collapse and wants a buyer, fast.

Macroviruses are BACK and are the future of malware, says Microsoft

Macro malware is making a comeback with one nineties nasty infecting half a million computers, Microsoft says.
Darren Pauli, 30 Apr 2015
North Pole Visitors by https://www.flickr.com/photos/wolfraven/ CC 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/
1

Oracle, Accenture, in cloudy consulting cuddle

Oracle and Accenture are cuddling in the cloud.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Apr 2015
Rand Paul

Rand Paul is trying to murder net neutrality. Is there a US presidential election, or something?

US presidential wannabe Rand Paul (R-KY) has filed a motion under the Congressional Review Act that could block the introduction of the Democrat-driven net neutrality rules.
Iain Thomson, 30 Apr 2015
Google Password Alert warning
7

Google polishes Chrome security with Password Alert

Google's seen way too much phishing, it seems, so the Chocolate Factory has pushed out a Chrome extension to catch attacks against accounts on Google domains.
Marc Benioff of Salesforce. Pic: Techcrunch
4

Someone is trying to buy Salesforce – but who could it be?

Salesforce.com is being eyed up for an acquisition – and has hired financial experts to guide it through the biz gobble, it's claimed.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Apr 2015
Malcolm Turnbull
3

Exclusive interview: Malcolm Turnbull quizzes Malcolm Turnbull

In what we believe to be a world first, The Register has secured the services Australia's shadow communications minister Malcolm Turnbull, circa 2012, to interview himself as the nation's current government communications minister now, in 2015. Over to you, Malcolms ...

Calamity cargo capsule DOOMED: Space station pod in fireball re-entry

Vid Roscosmos has written off the Progress supply capsule that was supposed to deliver tons of cargo to the International Space Station. The Russian space agency said the out-of-control craft will burn up within days as it falls back to Earth.
Iain Thomson, 29 Apr 2015
LG G4

LG glances at red-stained bank account, crosses fingers for G4

South Korean electronics giant LG is putting on its best face after its bottom line plunged by two thirds.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Apr 2015
Xeon E7 die
2

HDS turns its back to ASICs: Storage vaults to rely on x86 sans magic

With its greatly expanded VSP G-line of products, Hitachi Data Systems has opened a path to a single converged enterprise storage array platform – and has done so by eliminating proprietary hardware dependencies.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Hololens

PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

Build 2015 Microsoft is serious about HoloLens, and devoted some stage time during Wednesday morning's keynote at the Build conference in San Francisco to explain how its futuristic headset will be more than just a fancy toy.
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015
Microsoft's Terry Myerson, speaking at Build 2015

Microsoft: It's TRUE, you'll get Android and iOS apps in WINDOWS

Build 2015 Microsoft will get Android code working with Windows 10, confirming the rumors are true, sort of.
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015

US Congress promises death to patent trolls in bipartisan law scribbling

A new bill that will bring about the end of patent trolls will be introduced to US Congress today (Wednesday). Its backers are confident it will be signed into law "in six months or less."
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Apr 2015
JPMorgan
7

JP Morgan bank bod accused of flogging customer account info

The FBI has charged a former JP Morgan employee with selling customer information to thieves who wanted to empty accounts without triggering any alarms.
Iain Thomson, 29 Apr 2015

SECRET PROTOTYPE iPAD 'stolen from RANDY Apple employee'

A "test model" iPad was stolen this month from a lonely-heart in his 20s, who is thought to be an Apple worker. The unnamed man had responded to a sex ad online – and got more than he bargained for.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Apr 2015
Night sky over Hawaii

ROBOT telescope discovers ENORMOUS planetary neighbours

A robotic telescope enslaved by the will of astroboffins has done their bidding and discovered three "supersized Earths" orbiting a star in our galactic neighbourhood. Based at Lick Observatory, the robotic telescope scans the sky every night in search of new Earth-like planets for colonisation study.
Umbrellas
3

Oh, hey, look – it's the hardware storing all your medical records

Hitachi has whipped out a data-center outage tool, a health data storage product, and an analytics center of excellence – and put them under a social innovation umbrella. What gives?
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Microsoft's Joe Belfiore, speaking at Build 2015

This is Spartan? No, it's Microsoft Edge, Son of Internet Explorer

Build 2015 Microsoft has announced the official name for its new, modern web browser for Windows 10, hitherto known as Project Spartan: Microsoft Edge.
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015

Zoom in on HDS' Hyper Scale-out Platform kit

The Hitachi Hyper Scale-Out Platform – announced on Tuesday – is a single system for ingesting, accessing and analyzing big data-type information. Its architecture differs from typical Hadoop systems in that it avoids NameNode resource contention.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Microsoft Visual Studio Code running on Ubuntu

Visual Studio running on OS X and Linux for free? SO close

Build 2015 Microsoft has expanded its Visual Studio line of software development tools to platforms other than Windows for the first time.
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015
5

NetApp CTO Jay Kidd resigns and retires from the industry

NetApp CTO Jay Kidd has decided to finish his corporate career and is retiring.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Bitcoin is the future of money CC 2.0 by Jonathan Waller https://www.flickr.com/photos/whitez/

The world's first proper Bitcoin exchange will be live in a month

Bitcoin will officially enter the mainstream financial world next month when New York State's Department of Financial Services (NYDFS) publishes a regulatory framework for the virtual currency, allowing virtual currency exchange itBit to become the first-ever legitimate Bitcoin bank.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Apr 2015

Why the US government reckons it should keep phone network kill-switches a secret

Analysis The US government has argued that the rules around how and when it is allowed to shutdown phone networks must remain secret because the disclosure could endanger lives.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Apr 2015

Facebook policy wonk growls at Europe's mass of data laws

Facebook's Brussels lobbyist Richard Allan took to the pages of the Pink 'Un on Wednesday morning to have a good old moan about "multiple" EU nations digging around the free content ad network's data-slurping biz practices.
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Apr 2015
Ostrich
5

Gambling with your data: Betfair fixes HUGE account reset email vuln

Betfair has left consumers wide-eyed with worry after gaping holes in its its account recovery system were discovered by users.
Google faces antitrust charges in the European Union
8

Google officially doubles EU lobbying – but true figure is surely higher

Google doubled its EU lobbying efforts last year – but the real figure is likely to be much higher than it has declared, as it doesn’t include money spent on ongoing disputes.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Apr 2015
Microsoft Build 2015

'Android on Windows': Microsoft tightens noose around neck, climbs on chair

Build 2015 Microsoft’s annual developer conference Build kicks off later today, and rumours are swirling that Redmond has a bold plan to rescue Windows Phone from irrelevance. Aside from a modest 10 to 15 per cent share in some markets, the platform has gone nowhere, despite billions of dollars of support from Nokia and Microsoft.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Apr 2015
Layout of IBM's four superconducting quantum bit device. Using a square lattice, IBM is able to detect both types of quantum errors for the first time. This is the best configuration to add more qubits to scale to larger systems. (Credit: IBM Research)
5

Big Blue boffins claim quantum computing measurement leap

+Vid IBM has claimed major breakthroughs in quantum computing after boffins in Big Blue's lab demonstrated the ability to simultaneously detect and measure bit-flip and phase-flip quantum errors for the first time.
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Apr 2015
UNicorn
4

Infinidat decloaks, bulging with a BILLION greenbacks

Symmetrix inventor and serial startup whiz Moshe Yanai has another startup exiting stealth; Inifinidat, which has a funding round and high-enough VC valuation for it to be a unicorn.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
happy_woman_at_desk

Speaking in Tech: Comcast bails from TWC merger – a nation cheers

Podcast Podcast It's another episode of El Reg's best and only tech podcast, hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Greg has escaped to another tech conference, so Sarah and Ed are left to themselves to talk about AWS and Microsoft earnings, Comcast dumping the TWC merger and ServiceMesh getting into hot …
Team Register, 29 Apr 2015
American Airlines Boeing 737 N864NN. Pic: golfking1

Fondleslab deaths grounded ALL of American Airlines' 737s

Updated Dozens of American Airlines flights were delayed this morning when pilots' iPads abruptly crashed, leaving the entire AA fleet without access to vital flight plans and, resultantly, grounded.
Power generators, Holborn, photo: Gavin Clarke

Give me POWER: How to keep working when the lights go out

In the summer of 2001, I began consulting for a travel company in North Yorkshire. A very innovative company, but nothing all that unusual about it in a mechanical sense: a 70-or-so-seat call centre, finance department, sales and marketing people, and the IT department hidden nicely away where people couldn't just casually drop in to ask us idiotic questions. One autumn morning, I drove into the car park and couldn't fail to spot the two socking big orange metal sheds that had appeared outside the loading bay since I'd left the previous week.
Dave Cartwright, 29 Apr 2015
Old beardy man thinking. Pic: Henadz via Flickr

Jeez, AT&T. Billing a pensioner $24,000 for dialup is pretty low

An 83-year-old man in Woodland Hills, Los Angeles saw the bill for using his AOL dial-up service rise from a regular $51 per month to an unbelievable $8,596, eventually rising to $24,289, with threats of further increases if he failed to pay up.
The Rise of Islamic State: ISIS and the New Sunni Revolution

New EU security strategy: Sod cyber terrorism, BAN ENCRYPTION

“It is unacceptable that a Kalashnikov can be bought easily on the internet,”* thundered European Commission number two Frans Timmermans yesterday, as he presented the Commission’s plans to combat terrorism. So what’s he going to do about it? That’s right, hold a consultation.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Apr 2015
7

Anonymous benefactor to match today's Quid-A-Day donations

A Register reader who wishes to remain anonymous has said he will match all donations today to the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse's 2015 Live Below the Line fundraising total in aid of Malaria No More UK, up to a maximum of £750.
Lester Haines, 29 Apr 2015
British Transport Police cop. Pic: Gordon Joly

Smile! Brit transport plods turn bodycams on travelling public

British Transport Police have agreed to test 250 Taser Axon body-worn cameras.
Team Register, 29 Apr 2015
LIZARD WEARING A TOP HAT SITS ON A BRANCH.  Brett Weinstein pic - ALTERED BY JUDE KARABUS - licensed under  CC 3.0

E-voting and the UK election: Pick a lizard, any lizard

Feature On Thursday May 7, the UK goes to the polls for a General Election. For those from elsewhere, we use the First Past the Post voting system, with each MP representing a specific geographical constituency. So, a majority of one is enough to win a seat, and the party leader who can command a majority of votes in the House of Commons becomes the Prime Minister.
Nigel Whitfield, 29 Apr 2015
Landfill. Pic: Bill McChesney

Free markets aren't rubbish – in fact, they solve our rubbish woes

Worstall on Wednesday The UN noted last week that there's rather a lot of computing and other electrical and electronic waste around. Meeellions upon millions of tonnes, in fact. As they say, it might be a good idea to think about recycling some of this crud. However, if we're going to do that then we need to get the economics of this right: and I've not noted anywhere that does just yet.
Tim Worstall, 29 Apr 2015
crash test dummies

Your new car will dob you in to the cops if you crash, decrees EU

New cars sold in the EU from March 2018 will have to phone the authorities if they think they've been in a crash.
Simon Rockman, 29 Apr 2015
Spy hides in dustbin, lifts lid to take photograph

Paranoid about the NSA? The case for dumping cloud's Big 3

Internet Service Providers (ISPs) may be the most important public cloud providers of the next decade. Hosting your data with an ISP has a number of advantages over choosing the dominant American cloud providers: advantages that run the gamut from technical to political.
Trevor Pott, 29 Apr 2015
Redditor guinne55fan's arm tattoo

Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

The Apple Watch can't figure out if the wearer has a pulse when worn on a tattooed wrist, Register reader Michael Lovell tells us.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Apr 2015
Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, speaking at the 2015 F8 conference
3

Chinese report loopy Facebook redirections

China appears to have neutered swathes of otherwise uncensored websites and redirected Facebook login attempts to external websites, according to local reports.
Darren Pauli, 29 Apr 2015
9

Stop the war between privacy and security – EU data watchdog

Security and privacy are not mutually exclusive says Europe’s privacy watchdog – and people should stop saying they are.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Apr 2015
Fiesta CC.20 attribution by https://www.flickr.com/photos/mtsrs/
1

Fiesta exploit kits wakes from siesta

Brad Duncan says attackers are again slinging the Fiesta, this time using a complicated series of loops that researchers will find difficult to trace.
Darren Pauli, 29 Apr 2015

Brit boffins BLOW UP Li-On batteries and film the MELTING COPPER

Video UK boffins have taken a close-up of what happens with Li-ion batteries when they get hot under the collar, and it's not pretty.

UK's annual PCB waste = 81 HMS Belfasts, says National Physical Lab

We're obliged to reader Simon Moore for flagging up a heavyweight improbable measurement unit, deployed by the National Physical Laboratory in an attempt to quantify the amount of printed circuit board waste dumped into UK landfills every year in terms of Royal Navy light cruisers.
Team Register, 29 Apr 2015
Zombie rising from the grave

Barclays, Halifax and Tesco still being gnawed by POODLE

Major banks are still open to POODLE attacks months after being called out as vulnerable.
Darren Pauli, 29 Apr 2015

Tax shouldn't be taxing – unless you're Barracuda Networks

Barracuda Networks reported a satisfyingly chunky revenue rise for its final 2015 quarter and full year, ended February 28, but losses dove unexpectedly deep due to taxation manipulations.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Applied Micro's X-Gene server-on-a-chip
5

PayPal adopts ARM servers, gets mightily dense

Those hoping ARM-powered servers can give Intel and AMD some stiff competition in the data centre have some good news today, after Applied Micro revealed that PayPal “has deployed and validated” the company's ARM-architected X-Gene server-on-a-chip.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Apr 2015
Samsung Galaxy S6

Samsung Electronics' sales go OVER A CLIFF

Samsung Electronics, the phones-and-chips-and-tellies arm of the Chaebol, has reported a nasty set of numbers for 2015's first quarter. Let's go straight to a slide from the earnings call to show you just how nasty it is.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Apr 2015
Hacker kitten

SOHOpeless Realtek driver vuln hits Wi-Fi routers

Twenty months of optimism has come to nought, so the Zero Day Initiative has gone public with a vulnerability in the Realtek SDK that's inherited by at least two broadband router vendors.
Twitter for Mac New
9

Twitter's share price crashed 18% thanks to ONE LONE TWEET

Financial analysts have reacted with comical dismay following less-than-forecast results from microblabber-content advertising website Twitter.
4

How do you sell fewer hard drives but make more profit? Let's ask ... Western Digital

Western Digital's third quarter of fiscal 2015, ended April 3, raked in sales of US$3.55bn – that's 4.1 per cent down on the year-ago quarter, and 8.7 per cent less than the previous quarter.
Chris Mellor, 29 Apr 2015
Lego Godzilla
3

Intel's wristjob envy sparks reorg

Intel has signalled a refocussing of its R&D in an effort to really, truly make a difference in the wearables market.
sniper

DARPA's made a SELF-STEERING 50-cal bullet – with video proof

Vid The military boffins at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) have shown off how the latest version of their "steerable bullet" lets a complete novice hit a distant target with pinpoint accuracy.
Iain Thomson, 29 Apr 2015
Interim logo for Digital Transformation Office
6

Turnbull's digital transformation team discovers user testing

Australia's Digital Transformation Office (DTO) has done something, again.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Apr 2015
Super Pressure Balloon overhead in Victoria

NASA 'UFO' pops a leak, lands in outback Australia

NASA has terminated the flight of its Super Pressure Balloon after one-third of its planned flight.
The Hindenburg disaster
3

IBM: We're the reassuringly expensive cloud

Ahead of Amazon.com breaking out results for Amazon Web Services last week, IBM wrote to let us know that not only does it haul in about US$7.7 billion a year with cloud and software-as-a-service but that it does so with “higher-value, higher profit cloud opportunities” rather than “low-end commoditized cloud offerings.”
Simon Sharwood, 28 Apr 2015
Apple Watch Sport

Apple to devs: Watch out, don't make the Watch into a, well, a watch

Apple has banned Watch apps that tell the time from the App Store, thus forbidding them from fanbois' wrists.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Apr 2015
LG G4 shot
6

LG slaps SIX CORE Snapdragon 808 in LEATHER G4 dog&bone – not overheaty 810

LG has whipped out its latest Android 5.1 smartphone, the G4, and pledged that the handset will burst upon an astonished USA within the next few months. It will be available with a ceramic or real leather backplate.
Iain Thomson, 28 Apr 2015
Man in an orange jumpsuit clutches prison bars. Image by Shutterstock
9

Judge denies retrial for 'Dread Pirate' Ulbricht in Silk Road drugs case

A US federal judge has rejected convicted Silk Road kingpin Ross Ulbricht's request for a new trial, despite his attorneys' claims of misdeeds on the part of government agents and prosecutors.
Neil McAllister, 28 Apr 2015
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Money-for-mods-gate: Valve gives masterclass in how to lose gamers and alienate people

A week ago, gaming darling Valve set up an online store allowing designers to sell game mods. Now, after a backlash from gamers, the Half-Life biz has shut it down.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Apr 2015
4

How do you really know if a storage array will perform for you?

When you have an existing storage array infrastructure with a variety of server apps about to hit the array, how do you know if array technology upgrades or even a new array will work as well or better than the existing kit?
Chris Mellor, 28 Apr 2015
Shopping trolley. Pic: Mikey, Flickr
8

Best Buy bites down hard on Apple Pay fruity bonking deal

Apple has finally convinced Best Buy – a big retail player in the US – to allow its customers to use Cupertino's mobile payment system.
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Apr 2015
7

DDoSsers use reflection amplification to crank up the volume to 100Gbps+

DDoS attacks have grown in volume yet again with 25 attacks larger than 100Gbps globally in Q1 2015, according to the latest stats from DDoS mitigation firm Arbor Networks.
John Leyden, 28 Apr 2015

MAYHEM in ORBIT: Russian cargo pod spins OUT OF CONTROL

Video Russian space boffins have lost control of a Progress cargo capsule which had been due to deliver 6,000lb of supplies to the International Space Station. The crazy podule is spinning and tumbling in orbit above the Earth as controllers try to establish contact with it.
Iain Thomson, 28 Apr 2015
6

ICANN wants total control of DNS while breaking its own bylaws to block .africa probe

ICANN broke its own bylaws – and acted in a way "fundamentally inconsistent" with its role as the world's DNS overlord – while restricting efforts to make itself more accountable to netizens.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Apr 2015
America

WHY can't Silicon Valley create breakable non-breakable encryption, cry US politicians

Analysis At last week's RSA security conference, the halls were full of government speakers telling the tech community that it must do the impossible: invent a form of encryption that's strong, but also easy for law enforcement to crack.
Iain Thomson, 28 Apr 2015
wheat_harvest_648

HDS conference product splurge sees it lining up for data harvest

With a cornucopia of announcements, HDS is extending its VSP high-end technology down range, as well as introducing new UCP models, a Hyper Scale-Out Platform and infrastructure management software tools.
Chris Mellor, 28 Apr 2015
Cloud
1

Cumulus Networks gives network admins a little DevOps loving

Cumulus Networks has launched a management config of its Linux network distro to give white-box sysadmins the kind of capabilities they're used to in the world of proprietary switches.
Panic button
3

Imation board and CEO get desperate ahead of May 20 AGM

Fearing the worst – that they might get booted off the board in a proxy vote war – Imation's CEO and board have written a second letter to shareholders, appealing for their support in a vote at the company's AGM on May 20.
Chris Mellor, 28 Apr 2015
8

Quid-A-Day kids chow down on foraged weed salad

We at the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse headquarters received the first full report from team member Nathan Dennis yesterday afternoon, shortly after he got stuck into the Live Below the Line challenge in aid of Malaria No More UK.
Lester Haines, 28 Apr 2015
iot_internet_of_things
8

Tencent introduces slimmed-down wristjob TOS to swollen market

A new lightweight OS for internet-of-things things has been announced by Chinese megacorp Tencent.
Simon Rockman, 28 Apr 2015
9

Quid-A-Day veteran fuelled by vastly improved nosh stash

We're pleased to report that El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse member and 2014 Live Below the Line veteran Toby Sibley has resurfaced, fuelled by a vastly superior diet to that which saw him subsist on a meagre 780 calories per day last year.
Lester Haines, 28 Apr 2015

Range Rover Sport: Like a cathedral on wheels, only with comfier pews

Vulture at the wheel It’s all about the headrests.
Simon Rockman, 28 Apr 2015
Alan Rusbridger as Judas

FT and Guardian eagerly grab Google's 30 pieces of silver

Money can’t buy you love, they say, but Google hopes it can mollify Europe’s newspaper publishers. Faced with antitrust action in Europe, the Chocolate Factory is pouring €150m directly into the pockets of European newspaper publishers to use on “digital projects”, the FT reports.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Apr 2015
David Cameron

David Cameron 'guarantees' action on mobe not-spots. Honest

It’s election time, so all the party leaders are promising everything to everyone. The latest one from David Cameron is good mobile phone coverage.
Simon Rockman, 28 Apr 2015

The Government Digital Service: The Happiest Place on Earth

Special Report Last year, the UK's Cabinet Office asked an external management consultancy to examine staff morale and high turnover at the Government Digital Service. After interviewing more than 100 civil servants, its scathing confidential analysis described an organisation beset by low morale and run by a “cabal” management of old friends, who bypassed talent in favour of recruiting former associates – while Whitehall viewed GDS as “smug” and “arrogant”.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Apr 2015
BlackBerry Leap

BlackBerry Leap: Touching biz users with a budget(ish) device

Review The Leap is the first full-touch device BlackBerry has released in 18 months, and only the third to be released in developed markets. It’s also the cheapest, with the BlackBerry UK store listing it at £199 including VAT.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Apr 2015

TURKEY-SIZED 'platypus' T. REX found by kid BAFFLES boffins

Baffled bone boffins are puzzled by the discovery of a diminutive new vegetarian dino in Chile which, they say, was closely related to the infamous meat-eating Tyrannosaurus rex.
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Apr 2015
Steve Jobs memorial in Russia

Apple BIGGER than the U.S. ECONOMY? Or Australia? Or ... Luxembourg?

Analysis Apple's results are out - and it's time for the traditional game of trying to work out how much richer than which country the company is. With sales at $58 billion for the quarter, profits of $13.7 billion and depending upon how absurd we want to make our method of measurement this makes it the same as the US economy, the size of Ireland or Pakistan, that of Luxembourg or some 0.35% of the US economy.
Tim Worstall, 28 Apr 2015
No junk mail. Pic: gajman, Flickr

SendGrid infosec chief eats humble pie, admits email service hacked

Marketing email distribution service SendGrid is asking customers to switch passwords after admitting it got hacked.
John Leyden, 28 Apr 2015
Acer Iconia One 8

Acer introduces a REVOLUTION in tablet tech: The PENCIL

Pics In an earlier article on The Register, Acer revealed its PC plans – but also in evidence at its recent press launch in New York last week was the company’s belief that there is still plenty of room in certain market segments for tablets.
Alistair Dabbs, 28 Apr 2015
schoolchildren_kids_victorian_cropped
1

HDS gets busy, finds itself in the VSP family way

We've learnt that HDS' high-end VSP G1000 storage array is sprouting siblings, with G200, G400, G600 and G800 products popping up under the high-end G1000 in the line up.
Chris Mellor, 28 Apr 2015

New antenna supports all three wireless charging standards

A new antenna design aims to solve the two major problems with wireless charging: the mess of standards and the limitations of transmitting power by radio.
Simon Rockman, 28 Apr 2015

Why recruiters are looking beyond IT's traditional talent pool

Simon Zhang is a former brain surgeon, but that’s literally the last thing you’ll find on his LinkedIn profile.
Bank vault
7

Romanian rozzers round up alleged $15 MILLION ATM cybercrim gang

Romanian police have arrested 25 people who are suspected of being part of a cyber-crime gang that organised $15m in fraudulent bank withdrawals.
SanDisk_updated_PCIe_flash_range_video
4

SanDisk goes nuclear with its Fusion flash card range

SanDisk has announced third-generation ioDrive PCIe and mezzanine flash cards, claiming up to a fourfold price performance improvement, with up to a 61 per cent list price reduction over the previous generation Fusion ioDrive 2/Atomic product.
Chris Mellor, 28 Apr 2015
7

EXTREME COUPONING zeros checkout carts in eBay's Magento

Hacker Netanel Rubin has found a critical remote vulnerability in Ebay's web commerce platform Magento that affects 88,000 shops and allows buyers to purchase anything for free, and compromise credit cards and personal data.
Darren Pauli, 28 Apr 2015
One Direction's Salt Lake City / West Valley concert in 2013. Image credit: TheMikeRob.Tumblr.com/PicktureThat.com

Hawking hologram comforts One Direction fans with Zayny parallel universe claim

It turns out there's more than one direction One Direction could be heading in, after megaboffin Stephen Hawking comforted fans with the claim that Zayn Malik may still be in the band in a parallel universe.
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Apr 2015
The rather phallic tracks of the balloons seen on spacenear.us

Euroboffins want EU to achieve techno-independence

Bug bounties, disclosure rules, product certification, and support for open source software are all in a grab-bag of proposals put to the European Parliament to help fight mass surveillance.
Clouds in blue sky

HP switch upgrade hopes to sneak SDN onto network, quietly

Interop HP has used Interop as the venue for its latest switch launch, putting software-defined networking (SDN) alongside speeds and feeds in the marketing pitch.
4

Man-in-the-Middle diddle hits 25,000 iOS apps

Some 25,000 iOS apps are exposed to man-in-the-middle attacks thanks to vulnerabilities in the popular AFNetworking library.
Darren Pauli, 28 Apr 2015
Doctor Nick Riviera

Surgery-bot can be hacked to HACK YOU TO PIECES

Surgical robot makers are just as good at security as the rest of the world - ie, hopeless - according to University of Washington infosec boffins.
Looks like DNA

Sweden releases human genome under Creative Commons licence

What used to take years now takes months: after buying a bunch of sequencers in 2014, Sweden's Uppsala University has published a human genome sequence under the Creative Commons license.
Cash in brown paper envelope CC 2.0 attribution StockMonkeys.com
1

ServiceMesh man Eric Pulier resigns from CSC amid bribery claims

Eric Pulier, the co-founder of CSC prey ServiceMesh and CSC general manager of cloud has left CSC.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Apr 2015
Apple Mac Mini late 2014

Close encounter: Apple Macs invade the business world

Companies big and small are running Macs. They are showing up everywhere, from IBM to Google to the SMB.
Trevor Pott, 28 Apr 2015
Burning copyright symbol. Photo by: Martin Fisch http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/ on flickr"
7

Let downloads roam free, says ACCC

Australia's consumer regulator, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission, is pushing back against calls to ban accessing offshore content with means such as VPNs, in a submission to an inquiry into copyright legislation.
Red Hat virtual desktop by Citrix

2016 might just be the year of Linux on the (virtual) desktop

Come November, some “pundit” will declare that next year is the year of Linux on the desktop. This November, expect a twist on that prediction, as 2016 could just perhaps conceivably be the year of virtual Linux desktops now that Citrix has taken kit capable of delivering it into Beta.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Apr 2015
Spy hides in dustbin, lifts lid to take photograph
5

Oz media belatedly realises 'spook's charter' is bad (for) news

Australia's media has finally realised that it was a bad idea to turn the Nelson eye to national security laws that passed in 2014.
spacex

SpaceX in MONEY RING shot, no spare juice for tail backdown this time

Pic For the second time in a month, Elon's Musk-eteers at upstart rocket startup SpaceX have fired cargo into space – this time delivering the first satellite owned and operated by the former Soviet republic of Turkmenistan.
Iain Thomson, 28 Apr 2015