The Week in Summary

Tom Selleck in Magnum PI

'How can HP have a dress code if I'm wearing this wacky hat?'

QuoTW We wrap up July with a week of Windows updates, camera controversy and an end to Internet Explorer.
Team Register, 01 Aug 2015
Robots emulate natural locomotion of water strider insects. Pic credit: Wyss Institute at Harvard University
5

Watch leggy ROBOT INSECT WALK on WATER before LEAPING OFF

Vid Scientists have created a tiny, leggy robot that mimics the actions of a water strider.
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Aug 2015
9

New twist in telco giants' fight to destroy the FCC's net neutrality

Analysis When an entire page of a lawsuit is taken up just listing the lawyers on the case, you know you have hit some vested interests.
Kieren McCarthy, 01 Aug 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bacon and egg sushi

OK, sliced pork fans. In response to criticisms that our recent culinary trip to Hawaii – in search of the quite remarkable Spam musubi - simply did not feature enough bacon, we today present for your wobbly dining pleasure the very cutting edge of Anglo-Japanese fusion cuisine.
Lester Haines, 01 Aug 2015
Q7_front_hero

The Q7: Audi’s big SUV goes from tosspot to tip-top

Vulture at the Wheel Too large, too ugly, too late. Luckily (for El Reg’s relationship with Audi) that’s my opinion of the outgoing Q7. Why anyone coughed up good money for a Q7 when for less you could have pretty much the same thing with a VW Touareg badge on the back was beyond me.
Alun Taylor, 01 Aug 2015
Emojis from Apple's beta of iOS 6

Gay emojis? GAY EMOJIS?! Not here in Russia, comrade

The Russian government is reportedly looking to ban "gay" emoji symbols over fears the same-sex pictures could violate censorship laws.
Shaun Nichols, 01 Aug 2015
Bank vault

Windows 10: Buy cheap, buy twice, right? Buy FREE ... buy FOREVER

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Microsoft wants to give me Windows 10 for free! Hooray for freebies! OK, some of my software no longer launches or works quite the way it’s supposed to, but I got used to that after upgrading to Windows 8, and then again with Windows 8.1.
Alistair Dabbs, 01 Aug 2015

This hospital drug pump can be hacked over a network – and the US FDA is freaking out

The US Food and Drug Administration has told healthcare providers to stop using older drug infusion pumps made by medical technology outfit Hospira – because they can be easily hacked over a network.
Iain Thomson, 01 Aug 2015
Uber launch party by https://www.flickr.com/photos/5chw4r7z/ CC2.0 sharelalike attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Uber holds out hand, hails another $1bn – mostly from Microsoft

Unlicensed taxi service Uber has plumped up its war chest with another $1bn, with much of the latest funding round reportedly coming from Microsoft.
Neil McAllister, 31 Jul 2015
Liam Neeson Taken

Wait, STOP: Are you installing Windows 10 or ransomware?

People aren't good at waiting for stuff, and with, computer users queueing up to download Windows 10, ransomware purveyors have started to move in.
Iain Thomson, 31 Jul 2015
Slipway
1

It's Friday! Had a good week? It was probably better than Seagate's

In keeping with its warning, Seagate confirmed a revenue and profits decline as its mainstay desktop and notebook drive shipments tumbled for the third straight quarter.
Chris Mellor, 31 Jul 2015

$100m fine? How about, er, $16k? AT&T teabags FCC with its giant balls

AT&T has taken its four-year campaign to avoid liability for throttling its "unlimited" data plans to new heights by proposing that a $100m fine imposed last month be reduced to just $16,000.
Kieren McCarthy, 31 Jul 2015
James Woods

James Woods demands $10m from Twitter troll for 'coke addict' claim

Actor James Woods is suing a Twitter troll for wrongly branding him a "cocaine addict." Woods, who says he is not a drug addict, wants $10m in damages.
Shaun Nichols, 31 Jul 2015
3

Bitdefender feeling a bit tender: Hackers enter anti-distemper vendor

One or more miscreants have been able to slurp and leak usernames and passwords from Bitdefender. The unencrypted login details belonged to some of the security biz's small business customers.
John Leyden, 31 Jul 2015

No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Comment Targeting one million of anything is no longer cool, according to Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. Only one billion will do.
Matt Asay, 31 Jul 2015
Nvidia Shield Tablet
4

Sick burn, LOSER! Nvidia recalls Shield gaming slabs over BLAZE RISK

Nvidia has today urged gamers to stop using its eight-inch Shield tablets, and send them back to base, because they are a fire risk.
Iain Thomson, 31 Jul 2015

Petrol cars are dead in the water, says Tesla CTO waving numbers on the back of an envelope

Analysis Gasoline-powered cars are a dying breed, and not because everyone will become a tree-hugging fossil-fuel-hating hippie, but rather thanks to cost.
Kieren McCarthy, 31 Jul 2015
Violins
4

Oh Jeez, not now! Activist investor threatens Violin Memory

Violin Memory’s board is under attack from the Clinton Group, an activist investor wanting to have talks about “a number of topics germane to creating shareholder value”, meaning an asset or company sale.
Chris Mellor, 31 Jul 2015
Handing over dollars picture via Shutterstock

Windows 10 marks the end of 'pay once, use forever' software

Comment Windows 10 is the last version of Windows that will ever be released. If this really is the last version of Windows desktop operating system ever, though, where will Microsoft make its money?
Stuart Burns, 31 Jul 2015

Blue Coat acquires the cloud-crypto monkeys at Perspecsys

Controversial and suspicious netsec outfit Blue Coat Systems has acquired Perspecsys, for the want of some weight in its cloud security portfolio.
Security guard, picture via Shutterstock

Don't want Windows 10 FILTH on the company network? Step this way

Windows 10 is here. Now, while I have Windows Upgrade Fatigue and I'm in no rush to make the change, plenty of people out there received the upgrade when it arrived. There will certainly going to be a mighty spike in net traffic that day – not least because the upgrade from Windows 7 or Windows 8 is a free one.
Dave Cartwright, 31 Jul 2015

How much of ONE YEAR's Californian energy use would WIPE OUT the DROUGHT?

Analysis That California drought - it's terrible, isn't it? But there's nothing to be done. If it doesn't rain for a few years, and doesn't snow up in the mountains, Californians must just yield to Mother Nature and stop watering their lawns, stop washing their cars, maybe even stop growing those delicious but thirsty almonds.
Lewis Page, 31 Jul 2015
atm_teaser_648
1

Interested in building 'community' Mr Corporation? Please swipe here

Feature Money isn’t new to open source. Capitalist pigs have always been quite at home amidst the unwashed developer masses, spinning up companies to capitalise on the success of JBoss, MySQL, and more.
Matt Asay, 31 Jul 2015
ShutterStock217132183

ATTACK of the ZOMBIE SATELLITE: Run radio hams, run!

A satellite launched by the US military has gone rogue and is causing interference to radio hams across Europe.
Adam Banks, 31 Jul 2015

El Reg touches down at the ESA's Spanish outpost, sniffs around

Pics "Are you really going to wear that into the canteen?" That was the perfectly reasonable question posed by Emmet Fletcher, communication officer at the European Space Astronomy Centre (ESAC) as my nephew Matt Haines braced himself for lunch sporting a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) lab coat and pipe.
Lester Haines, 31 Jul 2015
Wireless charging system gives 10kW with no RF

Magnet-wobble wireless charging system dishes out a respectable 10 kW

Canadian wireless power company Elix has announced a system which can generate and transfer 10 kW using magneto-dynamic coupling. It’s big, heavy and noisy, so is aimed at trucks and buses rather than small cars, and is certainly not suitable for desktop gadget charging.
Simon Rockman, 31 Jul 2015
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PagerDuty hacked ... and finally comes clean 21 days later. Cheers

Why not celebrate SysAdmin Day by worrying about a data breach at incident management peddler PagerDuty? An attacker managed to get into the company's systems on 9 July, and a belated 21 days later the company did the decent thing and informed its customers about the incident.
ganesha_648
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Uber unleashes $1bn war chest to crack Indian market

Uber is to throw $1bn (£642m) of investment into the Indian market, in an apparent attempt to blast incumbent "sharing economy" taxi biz Ola out of the water.
Kat Hall, 31 Jul 2015
Angela Merkel's eyes

German spooks want to charge journalists with TREASON for publishing spy plans

Two journalists have been threatened with jail time in Germany for publishing information about the extent of the country’s surveillance activities.
Jennifer Baker, 31 Jul 2015
2028GR_TRT HDD Caddies

Crazy Canucks heat their lab with muahaha-capable server

Review Playing with cool technology is not why either of us chose systems administration as a career. Nor was it something we expected as part of our employment. That said, it is impossible to deny the attraction cool technology has. It is fitting, then, that on systems administrator day we get the chance to publish a review on the kind of hardware that lured us into systems administration in the first place.
Japan

US spied on Japanese PM Abe, Mitsubishi, and so much more

The NSA spied on Japan's prime minister, central bank, finance ministry and major corporations, such as the natural gas division of Mitsubishi, according to documents released today.
John Leyden, 31 Jul 2015
The Windows 10 (optional) full screen Start menu now looks more like 8

Microsoft's Windows 10 Torrent-U-Like updates GULP DOWN your precious bandwidth

Feel like your network bandwidth is slipping away? Windows 10 could be the culprit.
Gavin Clarke, 31 Jul 2015

BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

Episode 9 Episode 9 "Wow, that's like the Matrix!" the Director's PA gasps.
Simon Travaglia, 31 Jul 2015
A daisy
2

Daisy completes Phoenix IT gobble

Acquisition-ravenous Daisy Group has completed its gobble of tech services outfit Phoenix IT Group.
Kat Hall, 31 Jul 2015

Google to French data cops on .com RTBF: Baiser ma DERRIERE

Google says it will not comply with French data cops' demands to apply the European "right to be forgotten" worldwide.
Jennifer Baker, 31 Jul 2015
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UK's first 'DIY DAB' multiplex goes live in Brighton

Britain’s first home-brewed open source-based DAB multiplex has gone live this morning. Six services will be operating on the new mux in Brighton for nine months.
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Jul 2015
Telephone. Copyright: macinate
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Lying to customers, Unicom? Cough up £200k, do not pass Go

It’s good to know that complaints to Ofcom produce action. A probe into broken promises and lies told by Unicom has seen the company fined £200,000 by the regulator.
Simon Rockman, 31 Jul 2015
Misty woods picture via Shutterstock
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Missing in action: The OpenStackers lost from Gartner's quadrant

The more I look at Gartner's recent Magic Quadrant for x86 server virtualization infrastructure, the more confused I get.
Trevor Pott, 31 Jul 2015
Doctor Who in Listen

Think beyond the Beeb: Gov consultation is crucial for free telly

Breaking Fad Do you like your free-to-air TV? It looks like a reasonable chunk of spectrum will be saved for terrestrial broadcasting at the WRC–15 meeting later this year, but the battle for Freeview is far from over.
Nigel Whitfield, 31 Jul 2015
'Broken Copyright' StockMonkeys.com
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Open source Copyright Hub unveiled with '90+ projects' in the pipeline

The web has grown up without letting people own and control their own stuff, but a British-backed initiative might change all that, offering a glimpse of how the internet can work in the future. Their work will all be open sourced early next year.
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Jul 2015
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Americans care more about EU data protection laws than the French

Around 800 people really do want to compare all the different versions of the EU’s proposed new data protection law.
Jennifer Baker, 31 Jul 2015

Flash deserves to live, says Cisco security man

Don't kill Flash; that's the message from Cisco security veteran John Stewart who says the Adobe team have put in the hard yards into reforming security and needs to weather the current bug storm.
Darren Pauli, 31 Jul 2015

HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

HP Enterprise's head of HR says his company does not have a "global" dress code, while his minions quietly remove a webpage on workplace appearance from HP.com.
Chris Williams, 31 Jul 2015
How Philae lands on the comet

Comet 67/P CAKED in LIFE-GIVING RUBBLE, say astroboffins

When the Philae lander failed to touch down cleanly on Comet 67P/Churyumov­-Gerasimenko, the mission looked like a mess. But the probe's four bounces across the comet's surface turn out to have been a blessing in disguise because they've given us more close-ups of 67P than expected.
Simon Sharwood, 31 Jul 2015
The Incredible Shrinking Man

Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

The West Yorkshire fuzz have released recordings of nuisance calls requesting a cat be arrested for eating a man's bacon and a complaint about a noisy washing machine, as well as a request to identify the actor in Magnum PI*.
Team Register, 31 Jul 2015
The All Apps menu in Windows 10

Windows 10 clients come to Microsoft Virtual Machine Manager

Looking forward to a nice, relaxing Sysadmin Day? If you run Microsoft's Virtual Machine Manager (VMM) 2012, your dat may just have been complicated by the release of two update rollups.
Simon Sharwood, 31 Jul 2015
Locutus of Borg, aka Patrick Stewart aka Jean Luc Picard
3

Borg patches enterprise ASR router DoS hole

Cisco has closed a hole in its ASR 1000 line of enterprise and service provider-grade routers that could trigger denial of service.
Darren Pauli, 31 Jul 2015
Google provides great mobile coverage for Yetis
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Sri Lanka braves monsoon with Loon broadband balloons

Service to launch just weeks before monsoon hits, complete with rain and wind a-plenty Sri Lanka has signed up for broadband services delivered by Google's “Project Loon” broadband balloons.
Simon Sharwood, 31 Jul 2015

Kim Dotcom to create Wikimedia-style open source Mega 3.0

File locker mogul Kim Dotcom has signalled he'll soon create a third version of his Mega service.
Simon Sharwood, 31 Jul 2015
Homer Simpson wearing a Glass headset to bed

Google sneaks out new clip-on tech goggles for saddo Glassholes

Google has reportedly been developing a revision of its infamous Glass product for use in the workplace.
Shaun Nichols, 31 Jul 2015
Ownstar

Unlock and start General Motors cars with a $100 box of tricks – hacker

Anyone with $100 spare for electronic components, and some technical skills, can wirelessly track, unlock, and start General Motors cars that have OnStar fitted, it is claimed.
Iain Thomson, 31 Jul 2015
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World's worst exploit kit now targeting point-of-sale systems

Trend Micro researcher Anthony Joe Melgarejo says the sophisticated Angler exploit kit popular in cybercrime circles is now targeting point-of-sale (PoS) systems.
Darren Pauli, 31 Jul 2015
Star Trek: "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"
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Google, Oracle's endless Java copyright battle extended to ... 2016

The long-running copyright dispute between Oracle and Google over the latter's use of the Java language APIs in its Android operating system will likely drag on for another year or more, based on the latest developments in the case in a US federal court.
Neil McAllister, 31 Jul 2015
6

Apple gobbles chunk of CNET, ZDNet – report

Apple is reportedly moving into San Francisco's stinky and noisy trendy South of Market (SoMa) neighborhood – by leasing office space in CBS Interactive's building.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Jul 2015

Giant Facebook SOLAR LASER DRONE to FEED interwebs into YOUR FACE

Pics Facebook's bonkers dream of beaming internet access to remote corners of the globe has taken yet another step – or perhaps that should be flight – closer to reality with its new flying laser drone.
Iain Thomson, 30 Jul 2015
Microsoft monopoly

Edge out rivals? No! Firefox chief BLASTS Microsoft's Windows 10 browser brouhaha

Mozilla boss Chris Beard has fired off a tetchy open letter to Microsoft supremo Satya Nadella – because Windows 10 forces Firefox users onto Redmond's new Edge web browser.
Neil McAllister, 30 Jul 2015
FCC paddling
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FCC swamped by 2,000+ net neutrality complaints against ISPs

The FCC has reportedly received over 2,000 complaints related to alleged violations of its Open Internet rules.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Jul 2015
Brown dwarf

Alien dwarf 'star' flashes her dazzling brown rear at stunned space boffins

Video Astronomers have spotted a brown dwarf almost-star glowing with a dazzling display of aurora similar to the Northern Lights and Southern Lights here on Earth – but hundreds of thousands of times brighter.
Iain Thomson, 30 Jul 2015
Containers_at_port

Oracle: Docker container tech will be in the Zone on Solaris

Oracle is the latest company to get on the Docker bandwagon, having announced support for the application container technology to come in a future version of Solaris Unix.
Neil McAllister, 30 Jul 2015
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Derelict TrueCrypt Russia portal 'is command hub for Ukraine spying op'

Malware used to attack Ukrainian government, military, and major news agencies in the country, was distributed from the Russian portal of encryption utility TrueCrypt, new research has revealed.
John Leyden, 30 Jul 2015
Credit: Oren Schauble Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Small number of computer-aided rifles could be hacked in contrived scenario

The internet is reeling today at the "news" that a rare make of computer-aided gunsight can under certain circumstances be hacked into, permitting a hacker to interfere with a suitably-equipped rifle's aim.
Lewis Page, 30 Jul 2015
Big popes, images via Shutterstock

Expansion-hungry Equinix posts bumper sales

Net income at US data centre outfit Equinix jumped to $59.5m (£38m) for the company's second quarter of 2015, up from $11.3m (£7.2m) in the same period last year. Meanwhile, sales rose 10 per cent to $666m (£426m) for the three-month period.
Kat Hall, 30 Jul 2015
Back_of_the_NSCI_envelope

Obama endorses 3D TLC flash. How else can you do exaflop computing?

Comment New storage technologies are needed for exabyte-munching exaflop supercomputers. The same-old-same-old disk tech used for supercomputers won’t do for the exaflop generation promised by President Obama’s US leadership supercomputing order. This is Obama’s moonshot, the equivalent of President Kennedy’s man on the moon vision
Chris Mellor, 30 Jul 2015
HDD_heads

Will the PC glory days ever return, WD asks as its finances slip

Are the glory days gone for good? Will the PC market ever come back? AS WD rues the damage that declining PC disk sales have done to its revenues, that’s a question that will be exercising its product strategists as they ponder its latest results.
Chris Mellor, 30 Jul 2015
Moments of perspiration

Chinese hackers behind OPM megabreach also pwned United Airlines

United Airlines was hacked by same Chinese group that also breached health insurer Anthem and the US government’s Office of Personnel Management (OPM).
John Leyden, 30 Jul 2015
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French dating sites spanked for laissez faire data protection

French privacy watchdog CNIL has spanked 13 dating websites for abuses of data protection law.
Jennifer Baker, 30 Jul 2015
shutterstock_170724905-Fibre

BT hands £129m back to UK.gov after beating rural broadband targets

Both BT and the Ministry of Fun – or the Department of Culture, Media and Sport, if you prefer – have spun BT’s toeing-the-line-of-a-contractual-obligation as unbridled generosity towards taxpayers.
Simon Rockman, 30 Jul 2015
Internet of Things book cover
4

Strong ARM scoops up Sansa to boost IoT security

Chipmaker ARM has sealed a deal to buy Israeli Internet of Things (IoT) security specialist Sansa Security. Financial terms of the deal, announced Thursday, were not officially disclosed. However, the WSJ previously reported that around $75m-$85m was on the table.
John Leyden, 30 Jul 2015
Edge first run

Microsoft Edge web browser: A well-presented mea culpa

Review Edge, the new web browser in Windows 10 that was released on Wednesday isn't just a browser: it's an atonement.
jeremy_clarkson_648

And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Amazon Prime has signed up Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May for a car show intended to rival Top Gear on its streaming service.
Kat Hall, 30 Jul 2015
cuckoo_648
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Feeding the XPoint cuckoo and finding it a place in the storage nest

XPoint memory is a spectrum-invading cuckoo. Spectrums are great ways to describe a range including different items with differing characteristics. Everyone gets used to the range, then something comes along and forces its way into the spectrum, making existing items shuffle up and down.
Chris Mellor, 30 Jul 2015
Samsung Galaxy S6

What can't sell Galaxy S6s and keeps going down on you? Samsung and its profits

Samsung Electronics's profits fell eight per cent, year on year, in its second quarter of 2015 – as sales of its Galaxy S6 failed to gain traction.
Kat Hall, 30 Jul 2015

Download Fest goers were human guinea pigs in spy tech experiment, admit police

Leicestershire Police has revealed the facial recognition technology it rolled out at Download Festival had no policing utility. Instead it was an experimental assessment opportunity, paid for – and carried out for the sole benefit of – software vendor NEC Corporation.

UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Prime Minister David Cameron has declared himself "determined to introduce age verification mechanisms to restrict under 18s' access to pornographic websites" and he is "prepared to legislate to do so if the industry fails to self-regulate."
BT Openreach at work

Never mind falling revenues, BT watchers, look at the footy offering

BT had a mixed quarter, buoyed up mainly by TV subscriptions - and it has taken its results announcement as an opportunity to shore up its broadband position.
Simon Rockman, 30 Jul 2015
Long exposure shot showing patterns made my moving lightsabers

This is TRUE science: Harvard boffins fire up sizzling BACON LASER

A team of Harvard scientists has paved the way for a deadly laser pig weapon by demonstrating that, with a little encouragement, pig fat cells can be made to lase.
Team Register, 30 Jul 2015
android logo

Wanted: beta testers for El Reg’s Android app

Dear Reg reader. Do you have an Android phone? Maybe you downloaded our Android App? Found it wanting - a lot? Help us make it better by joining our beta testers group. it is easy-peasy although you do need a G+ account.
Drew Cullen, 30 Jul 2015

IARPA: Come, quantum computing boffins. We've got cash for you

Nay-sayers may nay-say, but America's Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA) reckons research into quantum computing is advanced enough to warrant a five-year program to kick things along.
HMRC photo, Gov.uk

Contractors who used Employee Beneficiary Trusts are in HMRC's sights

The British Government closed a window of opportunity for tax-efficient folk about a year ago that was beneficial to, and widely used by, contractors: the Employee Beneficiary Trust.
Team Register, 30 Jul 2015
Surfer

Beyond virty boxen and hyperconvergence: Regard the mighty data centres of the future

SANs and filers are facing decline because of the sudden rise of hyper-converged systems and enterprises seeking IT silo simplification.
Chris Mellor, 30 Jul 2015
Micro Machines

The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

Antique Code Show The last couple of months have seen the release of MotoGP and F1 2015. Just round the corner is the new Xbox exclusive Forza 6, so there are plenty of driving games around if you feel the need for speed.
Lucy Orr, 30 Jul 2015
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'Fix these Windows 10 Horrors': Readers turn their guns on Redmond

Mailbag “Clearly the first year of ‘free’ is really beta testing – what should a sensible IT manager do?” asks one Reg reader Down Under. I’ve heard this from a few of you and collected your thoughts.
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Jul 2015
Cookie Monster

Google turns cookie monster on AdSense, DoubleClick clients

Google has warned its AdSense and DoubleClick customers to sort out their cookie tracking policies before the European Commission gets pissy with them.
Jennifer Baker, 30 Jul 2015

SPUD – The IETF protocol Snowden loves but will never be used

It's not often that someone crafts a protocol expecting to destroy it, but that's what Cisco distinguished engineer Joe Hildebrand and a bunch of other Internet architecture boffins are doing right now.

Don't want pranksters 'bricking' your Android? Just stop using the internet, duh – Google

Video Trend Micro peeps say they have discovered a security bug that miscreants can exploit to seemingly murder millions of Android smartphones.
Iain Thomson, 30 Jul 2015
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Rackspace cooking up security-secret-sharing cloud cabal

Rackspace is leading an effort to create a new group of top-tier cloud companies that it hopes will share information about security in close to real time.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jul 2015

Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

SFW An 81-year-old man from Stratford, Connecticut, has been charged with public indecency after performing a sex act with a shrubbery.
Arizona State U's white laser schematic

Boffins get the inside dope, craft white laser

Arizona State University researchers have crafted a white laser – a neat trick since “white” isn't a colour, but a mix of colours.

Bloke cuffed for blowing low-flying camera drone to bits with shotgun

A father of two girls didn't take too kindly to a camera-equipped quadrocopter hovering over his house and snooping on his kids – so he blasted it out of the sky.
Iain Thomson, 30 Jul 2015
5

Critical BIND bug scores PATCH YESTERDAY grading

Gird your loins internet: Attackers now have the ability to disrupt large swathes of the web through a remote denial of service vulnerability found in the most widely used software for DNS servers.
Darren Pauli, 30 Jul 2015
China's FAST radio telescope
2

China announces petascale super for FAST radiotelescope

China is planning another petaflop supercomputer, this time to support what will by next year become the world's largest radiotelescope.

Cisco IOS-XE update time: Squash that DoS bug

Bad error message handling has opened up Cisco's IOS-XE versions prior to 3.13S to a remote denial-of-service (DoS) attack.
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Tired tablets don't tickle the imagination, so sales fall again

Box-counter IDC's latest Quarterly tablet tracker has more bad news for fondleslab fans: sales are down and the market is fragmenting.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jul 2015

NetApp sees IBM/Cisco VersaStack as 'huge' threat to FlexPod

NetApp has inadvertently leaked competitive intelligence documents to a community newsfeed, and the contents reveal it worries that IBM and Cisco's VersaStack will threaten its FlexPod business and that SolidFire has emerged as a threat.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jul 2015
Github octodex
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Git a load of this: GitHub now valued at $2 billion

GitHub has received a $250m infusion of venture-capital cash that values the code-sharing website at $2bn.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Jul 2015
DATA RETENTION Guidelines for Service Providers
2

Telcos given a breather to meet Oz metadata retention laws

Australian telcos' complaints about the government's rushed data retention implementation schedule have borne fruit, with the Attorney General's Department offering a deadline extension.

US to rethink hacker tool export rules after mass freakout in security land

Proposed changes to the US government's export controls on hacking tools will likely be scaled back following widespread criticism from the infosec community, a government spokesman has said.
Neil McAllister, 30 Jul 2015

Start learning parallel programming and make these supercomputers sing, Prez Obama orders

President Obama has signed an executive order that will pump US government money into American supercomputers just like before but in a more coherent fashion.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Jul 2015
facebook_shock_648

Facebook is raking in so much filthy lucre, it can't spend it fast enough

Facebook beat estimates on both revenue and earnings for the second quarter of its fiscal 2015, but investors seemed taken aback by the social network's soaring spending.
Neil McAllister, 29 Jul 2015
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence
5

Turnbull's transformers plan business access to YOUR GOV ID DATA

Australia's new Digital Transformation Office (DTO), the digital disruption brainchild of communications minister Malcolm Turnbull, has outlined plans for an ambitious new government-led digital identification plan that will meld government and business data on individuals to create a single digital ID.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jul 2015

Twitter will delete jokes after a DMCA takedown – but NOT my photos, fumes angry snapper

A photographer is suing Twitter, claiming it refused to remove unauthorized copies of her copyrighted snaps from its social network.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jul 2015

So just WHO ARE the 15 per cent of Americans still not online?

Analysis According to the most recent survey of online usage by Americans, 15 per cent of adults are still not online.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Jul 2015

Oh look – Office Mobile apps to go with your shiny Windows 10

Now that Windows 10 has begun shipping to customers who reserved their free upgrades, Microsoft has also announced general availability of the touch-centric Office Mobile apps for the new OS.
Neil McAllister, 29 Jul 2015
spies_648

Be wary of that Russian. He might HAMMERTOSS a software nasty at you

Security researchers have blown the lid on another Russian cyberspy crew, rated as the most sophisticated yet by security firm FireEye.
John Leyden, 29 Jul 2015
supernova

Exploding 'laptop batt' IN SPAAACE! Speeding lithium spaffed by nova

Pic For the first time, astronomers have detected lithium spread across space at high speed by an exploding star. The eggheads hope this discovery will solve one of the chemical riddles of the universe.
Iain Thomson, 29 Jul 2015
Google Cloud logo

Speaking in Tech: Google's snapped – it's gone native in the cloud

Podcast Podcast Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Ed, Sarah and Greg review how Google's going cloud native, Cisco shuts down Whiptail and dress codes at HP. Our special guest this week is Matt Brender from Basho to discuss OSCON and developer culture in the enterprise.
Team Register, 29 Jul 2015
You seen him? Hasidim

How to quietly slurp sensitive data wirelessly from an air-gapped PC

Israeli academics have demonstrated how feature-phones can use GSM radio frequencies to wirelessly siphon data from infected "air-gapped" computers.
John Leyden, 29 Jul 2015
Yelp search
6

Yelp whelps yelp 'Help!' Chairman ejects, shares plunge 30%, losses grow

Yelp is in full crisis mode as the upstart's chairman is out – and its stock continues to free fall.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jul 2015
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Top German data cop slaps down Facebook's real name policy

Johannes Caspar, Germany’s Hamburg Commissioner for Data Protection, has told Facebook to allow users to use pseudonyms on the free content ad network.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Jul 2015
Rep. Greg Walden (R-OR)

Your voter-trolling autodialer is illegal: The cringey moment the FCC spanks a congresscritter

FCC chairman Tom Wheeler caught the members of the US House Subcommittee on Communications and Technology off guard Tuesday when he told them that one of their favorite campaign tools is against the law to use.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jul 2015
7

Sysadmin Day 2015: Fun things to do – and prizes to win from El Reg

Sysadmin Blog Friday, July 31 is 2015's Systems Administrator Appreciation Day, better known as Sysadmin Day. It is a day during which sysadmins feel sad that nobody remembers there is a day dedicated to them, and they go on being as unappreciated as every other day of the year. The exception being vendors and other sysadmins; they remember to care.
Trevor Pott, 29 Jul 2015

Amazon comes up with delivery-drone zones after watching Fifth Element all night

Amazon has outlined a futuristic plan that would give drones their own 200-foot-thick piece of sky to zoom around in – and deliver packages in super-fast times.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Jul 2015
Caught_in_the_mud
2

CommVault mired in losses. Will activist investors move in?

Data management specialist CommVault could be open to activist investor activity, said an analyst, after reporting a loss and seeing yearly revenues down on Americas sales inadequacies and foreign currency headwinds.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jul 2015

Cloud busting: Alibaba pumps $1bn into Aliyun, hopes it will rain cash

Chinese Amazon equivalent Alibaba is pumping $1bn (£637m) into its cloudy arm Aliyun, thereby injecting cold, hard cash into its global domination plans.
Kat Hall, 29 Jul 2015
Angry-looking cat. Pic by  Guyon Morée from Beverwijk, Netherlands. licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

Now listen, Gartner – virtualisation and containers ARE different

Comment Gartner recently released its Magic Quadrant for x86 Server Virtualisation Infrastructure. In it, the mega analyst lumps together hypervisor-based virtualisation and containers. This is wrong, and as I've discussed before virtualisation and containerisation are different.
Trevor Pott, 29 Jul 2015
TOR Logo

MIT boffins identify Tor hidden services with 88 per cent accuracy

Boffins from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have demonstrated a vulnerability in Tor which, if exploited, could lead to hidden services being identified with up to 88 per cent accuracy.
Labelled_XPoint_Diagram

Peering closer at 3D XPoint memory: What are Intel, Micron up to?

Analysis Asking what we know about Intel/Micron's XPoint memory announced yesterday is maybe the wrong question. What don't we know about it?
Chris Mellor, 29 Jul 2015

Let's all binge on Blake’s 7 and help save the BBC ... from itself

Analysis BBC please take note: Sky’s decision to play Netflix at its own game seems to be paying off.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2015
flag.Italy
6

Italy: Human rights are so old hat. The future's in internet rights

Access to the internet is a fundamental right of all persons. So says a new Italian Declaration of Internet Rights, which incorporates a 14-point manifesto drawn up by a parliamentary committee following a public consultation.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Jul 2015
Champagne Not Included
1

Capita cracks open the bubbly after 10 per cent sales jump

This year's huge Capita spending spree boosted the company's sales by 10 per cent to £2.28bn, according to the outsourcing giant's first-half results for 2015.
Kat Hall, 29 Jul 2015
Cash in brown paper envelope CC 2.0 attribution StockMonkeys.com

A third of workers admit they'd leak sensitive biz data for peanuts

A third of employees would sell information on company patents, financial records and customer credit card details if the price was right.
John Leyden, 29 Jul 2015
container_ship_hamburg_shutterstock_648

A hybrid upstart trying to sink its fangs into Docker: Apcera

Interview With Apcera's new chief architect for security Jim Reno, formerly of CA Technologies, bedded down in his role, the company's taking aim at one of Docker's in-room elephants. The Register talks to CEO Derek Collison about how IT shops can trust what's in Docker containers.
The Supreme Court of the United Kingdom, Middlesex Guildhall

Sue us for Safari ad tracking? You'll be lucky, peons, cackles Google

The UK's Supreme Court has granted Google permission to appeal against a ruling giving Apple Safari users the right to sue the Chocolate Factory over its adbot tracking.
Kat Hall, 29 Jul 2015
IT Crowd's Roy: "Have you turned it off and on again?"

Windows 10: A SYSADMIN speaks his brains – and says MEH

Sysadmin blog It's Windows 10 day. That means it's time for a completely biased and in-no-way-even-remotely-objective assessment of Windows 10.
Trevor Pott, 29 Jul 2015
A round camera which looks around
6

Mobiles? What are they? Nokia immerses itself in virtual reality cameras

Always looking for a new angle, Nokia has launched itself into the movie equipment business with a 360-degree camera called OZO, capturing stereoscopic 3D video through eight synchronised global shutter sensors as well as spatial audio through eight integrated microphones.
Simon Rockman, 29 Jul 2015

Microsoft admits critical .NET Framework 4.6 bug, issues workaround

Microsoft has published a workaround for a critical bug in the .NET Framework 4.6 that can result in incorrect parameters being passed, with unpredictable results.
Tim Anderson, 29 Jul 2015
Online privacy image via Shutterstock

W3C's failed Do Not Track crusade tumbles to ad-blockers' Vietnam

The World Wide Web Consortium’s (W3C) Do Not Track (DNT) proposal, to give users a way to tell web sites not to track them, recently reached its "Last Call" stage.
Ofcom has great power over mobiles

Ofcom wants to ease the pain of switching mobile networks. Good luck

UK regulator Ofcom has started a consultation aimed at consumers to find out how hard it is to switch mobile phone networks, and eventually put in place processes which reduce the pain of switching, while also eliminating “slamming” where a company fraudulently migrates a customer.
Simon Rockman, 29 Jul 2015
Grand Fromages at Reggio Parmagiano

Moshe's Infinidat happy to SHOUT about its progress

Moshe Yanai's Infinidat startup, which came out of stealth in April with its InfiniBox array, is bragging about its growth.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jul 2015
Windows 10 on Surface 3

MORE Windows 10 bugs! Too many Start menu apps BREAK it

An issue with the new Windows 10 Start menu means that those with more than 512 application shortcuts will have missing entries.
Tim Anderson, 29 Jul 2015
Uber launch party by https://www.flickr.com/photos/5chw4r7z/ CC2.0 sharelalike attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Hurrah! Uber does work (in the broadest sense of the word) after all

Worstall on Wednesday There's a certain, perhaps too cynical strain in economics, best exemplified by Mancur Olson, who was prone to pointing out that all governments are just bandits living off the population they oppress.
Tim Worstall, 29 Jul 2015

Let kids delete their online rants, demand campaigners

Ministers have backed a campaign designed to give young people greater deletion rights over the stupid content they generate as youngsters.
Kat Hall, 29 Jul 2015
8

Flippin' heck, meet the Internet of Things wallpaper

British inventor Andrew Fentem has come up with a way of cheaply turning fabric into large active displays.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2015
4

Researchers say Anthem health hack has Beijing's fingerprints

The case for a Beijing-orchestrated hack of health insurer Anthem has firmed up with new details suggesting that the sophisticated hacking group responsible for the heist shared zero days with rival outfits.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jul 2015
Windows 10 with its revived Start menu

Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

Review Take a deep breath. This is it, the big one: Microsoft has released Windows 10, which will make everything good again after Windows 8.
Tim Anderson, 29 Jul 2015
BT Openreach at work

BT broadband in broad-based brownout and TITSUP incidents

If you can't reach a chum in the UK, chances are they've fallen victim to a substantial outage that's hit BT's voice and broadband services. Or a Total Inability To Support Usual Performance (TITSUP) incident.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jul 2015
heart.france

Thought YOU'd had rude service in France? Ce n'était RIEN, M'sieu Pantalons Malodorants

France’s data protection authority, CNIL, has put nationwide tech appliance store, Boulanger, on notice following the discovery of some less than flattering records on customers.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Jul 2015

Malvertising campaign hits 10 MEELLION users in 10 days

Cyphort researcher Nick Bilogorskiy says 10 million users may have been infected in as many as 10 days, thanks to a deadly malvertising and exploit kit campaign.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jul 2015
Death Star

World-beating TWO-QUADRILLION-WATT LASER fired by boffins

Nuclear fusion researchers at Osaka University in Japan claim they have made history by firing the world's most powerful laser – emitting a two-quadrillion-watt beam albeit for a very, very brief period of time.
Iain Thomson, 29 Jul 2015
Gartner network hype cycle 2015
6

SDN hits rock bottom and FCoE is obsolete, say Gartner mages

Fibre channel over Ethernet is obsolete and software-defined networking is making users grumpy rather than delivering promised benefits, according to the new networking version of Gartner's Hype Cycle.
Duke University's quantum 90GHz light emitter
4

Just a quickie, then: Boffins' 11 picosecond spontaneous emission

Boffins from Duke University reckon they've cracked one of the problems that holds back optical computing, with a tiny and very low-powered high-speed-switchable light source.
Arrow screenshot

Microsoft's Arrow brings pane to Androids

For reasons El Reg doesn't quite understand, Microsoft has decided that the one thing missing from the Android user's life is the Windows phone app launcher experience.
the EVO:RAIL value prop
8

HP goes off VMware's EVO:RAIL, stops selling sole appliance

Hewlett Packard has stopped selling its ConvergedSystem 200-HC, the hyperconverged rig based on VMware's EVO:RAIL system architecture.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jul 2015
8

Bug hunter reveals Apple iTunes, Mac app store receipt deceit

Vulnerability Lab founder Benjamin Kunz Mejri says he's found a security bug in Apple's Mac and iOS app stores that could be exploited to inject malicious JavaScript code into victims' web browsers.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jul 2015
Silhouette of spy discerning password from code uses a command on graphic user interface
1

Australian Cyber Security Centre uses discredited data to quantify infosec threats

The cost of “cyber attacks” in Australia appears to be stabilising and the country has never been subject to an attack at the national scale, but the government's Cyber ForceTM (not its real name) is still pitching the growth of the threat.
Voyager's golden record

Voyager's Golden Record now free to download

When NASA launched the two Voyager probes in 1977, it knew that they were on a one-way journey into the galaxy. So on the off chance they encountered another sentient species, NASA equipped both with a golden record full of information about Earth.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jul 2015

Citrix CEO retires as activist investor Elliott snatches the wheel

Citrix chief exec Mark Templeton has said he will retire, as activist investor Elliott Management takes a larger role in the company.
Neil McAllister, 29 Jul 2015
Indian mobile use
2

Indian mobe networks don’t want 700MHz – because they're too poor

While most telcos are baying for more radio spectrum to stuff with mobile internet broadband, the Indian operators are asking their government to hold off.
Simon Rockman, 28 Jul 2015

21st century malware found in Jane Austen's 19th century prose

Cisco's 2015 Midyear Security Report has revealed that at least one group of malware-spreading scum has a literary bent.
Iain Thomson, 28 Jul 2015

Record-breaking $502m in sales, BIG LOSSES – OF COURSE IT'S TWITTER

Twitter has managed to collect over half a billion dollars - and somehow throw it all away and more even though it does nothing but run a microblabber portal. But the markets are impressed anyway.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jul 2015
8

Hacked US Census Bureau staff to take anti-phishing classes

The US Census Bureau has asked for additional IT security training for its staff – including tips on how not to fall for phishing emails – in the wake of last week's server breach.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jul 2015

Slashdot, SourceForge looking for new owners after parent dumps them on the web's doorstep

DHI Group, the company formerly known as Dice Holdings, has announced that it's selling off its Slashdot Media division following two successive quarters of declining revenue.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jul 2015
6

FCC now regulates ISPs – but don't take your complaints to the watchdog just yet

Net neutrality Tom Wheeler, chairman of America's broadband watchdog the FCC, has insisted that "we know what we're doing," as his regulator gobbles up more and more power.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Jul 2015
Ceres' bright spots  Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/UCLA/MPS/DLR/IDA

Three-mile-high pyramid found on alien dwarf world, baffles boffins

Pics and video When it comes to probing dwarfs, NASA's New Horizons Pluto probe has been hogging the limelight.
Iain Thomson, 28 Jul 2015
3d_XPOint_structure

Just ONE THOUSAND times BETTER than FLASH! Intel, Micron's amazing claim

Next year, the world will start using products with an amazing new type of memory in them - or so say Intel and Micron, allied to produce the 3D XPoint chippery.
Chris Mellor, 28 Jul 2015
FASTER cable route
3

60Tbps internet cable from Asia to America will plug into Telx barn

US data center outfit Telx, target of a takeover bid by Digital Realty, has gone offshore for the first time, joining the Google-backed FASTER submarine cable consortium.

Oh, Obama's responded to the petition to pardon Snowden. What'll it be?

The US White House has formally declined a citizens' petition to issue a pardon to NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jul 2015
Bank vault

Are smart safes secure? Not after we've USB'd them, say infosec bods

Vulnerabilities in “intelligent cash safe service” Brink's CompuSafe's cash management produces will be demonstrated at the Def Con hacker conference in Las Vegas next week.
John Leyden, 28 Jul 2015

Moto fires BROADSIDE into the flagship phone's waterline with X Play and Style

Hands On The traditional flagship Android smartphone concept, as offered for instance by Samsung, may be feeling a little wobblier today after Motorola shelled it fore and aft with its new, actual-value X handsets.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Jul 2015
REvolving_door
6

All change at NetApp: One veep joins as another goes fishing

Five sales people have left NetApp simultaneously, including VP Americas channels sales Regina Kunkle. What gives?
Chris Mellor, 28 Jul 2015

Windows 10 in head-on crash with Nvidia drivers as world watches launch

Microsoft's automatic updates feature in Windows 10 has collided with Nvidia's driver system, sending the new operating system off the rails as it launches.
John Leyden, 28 Jul 2015
Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo

Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo crackup verdict: PILOT ERROR

The National Transport Safety Board has today given its verdict on last year's fatal Virgin Galactic crash, suggesting the cause of the tragic accident was human error and a lack of safety training.
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
5

Puppet draws back the curtain on devops magic with funky gfx and UI

“Less magic, more visibility” is what Puppet Labs reckons devops devotees need.
Angela Merkel's eyes
9

Bundestag won't reveal web block list on 'national security' grounds

Official sources in Berlin are refusing to publish details of the 100,000 websites blocked in the Bundestag, because revealing them would “endanger national security”.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Jul 2015
shutterstock_184661174

At last we know for sure. Blighty's 'best mobile network' is ...

The biannual survey of mobile networks conducted by RootMetrics has found that EE still leads the pack, and provides the best mobile phone coverage.
Simon Rockman, 28 Jul 2015
Glorious future of China

Google Californian warehouse workers file to form union

Workers at a Google Express warehouse in San Francisco have filed to form a union, citing poor conditions, low wages, and lack of benefits.
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
Marconi-Stille steel tape recorder

So what exactly sits behind Google’s Nearline storage service?

Comment How is Google’s retrieval service for non-essential data, Nearline, with its three-second retrieval latency, viable at the same cost as Amazon’s Glacier, when it uses tape with a 3-5 hour retrieval latency?
Chris Mellor, 28 Jul 2015
iglu_blaze
3

X-IO erects its iglu over the data management market

X-IO, the supplier of just-won't-fail ISE storage boxes, has added a data management services head unit which can support up to 11 ISE blocks, calling it an iglu.
Chris Mellor, 28 Jul 2015

Amazon threatens UK with James Blunt, muscles into music streaming

Not content with crushing the high street, touting cloud services, and dominating e-books, Amazon has launched a music streaming service set to rival Spotify and Apple Music in the world of heavily marketed, mediocre pop acts.
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
Bitcoin payphone

'Untraceable' VoIP caller ID-spoofing website accepts Bitcoin

A new VoIP service allows you to hide who you are by being web-based, having no registration checks, allowing you to spoof caller identity, and pay by Bitcoin.
Simon Rockman, 28 Jul 2015
Funnel of cash. Credit: via SXC – http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Leonardini

Desperate Microsoft PAYS Win Server 2003 laggards to jump ship

Exclusive Microsoft is paying customers to dump Windows Server 2003, The Register has learned.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Jul 2015
Speed

Speed freak: Kingston HyperX Predator 480GB PCIe SSD

Review If evidence from last/early this year’s large technology shows is anything to go by, then 2015 might just be the year that consumer PCIe SSD market begins stirring – something that's long overdue.
Simon Crisp, 28 Jul 2015
Zuckerberg
6

Facebook pumps up ENTIRELY SELFLESS, altruistic Internet.org

Facebook is getting more push behind its totally altruistic Internet.org scheme, which will - incidentally - let it slurp up free content and personal information from billions of poor people worldwide while spattering them with ads.
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
BB_PLAYBOOK_RIM_DOWN_TOILET

Blighty tablet sales plunge 31 per cent in saturated market

The free fall descent of the tablet distribution market accelerated for the second quarter of 2015, with channel fondleslab sales plunging by 22 per cent to 2.3 million across Western Europe.
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
6

EU data protection tsar spams lawmakers with his unwanted opinions

The EU's independent privacy watchdog has stuck his oar into negotiations on a new EU-wide data protection law.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Jul 2015
Panic button

Biometric behavioural profiling: Fighting that password you simply can't change

Security researchers have developed a browser extension that supposedly defeats biometrics based on typing patterns, with the exercise designed, in part, to promote greater awareness about the emerging technology and the privacy risk it might pose.
John Leyden, 28 Jul 2015
Data center

Chat about Safe Harbour all you like, the NSA's still the stumbling block

The EU’s Justice Commissioner met her US counterparts last week in an effort to break the stalemate over data protection rights.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Jul 2015
4

Cybercrime forum Darkode returns with security, admins intact

Crime forum Darkode has relaunched with renewed security two weeks after it was obliterated in a global police raid that shut down the site and saw members arrested.
Darren Pauli, 28 Jul 2015
Ford's GT only has a V6

Ford's parallel PARCing: Motor giant tries to craft new tech just like Xerox

Ford is scared of the future. It has to figure out how to survive in a time when manually driving your car to work is as archaic as commuting by horse.
Simon Rockman, 28 Jul 2015
hand_puppet by MIKI Yoshihito

LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

LinkedIn has reversed a recent decision to make it harder for members to download information about those who've decided to connect with them on the business-centric social network.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015

Hole in (Number) Two: MYSTERY golf-course pooper strikes again

A spectre is haunting Stavanger Golf Club, a spectre which has been defecating into specific holes on the course.
 Can't See You... by https://www.flickr.com/photos/12023825@N04/  cc 2.0 attribution sharealike generic https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/
2

Xen reports new guest-host escape, this time through CD-ROMs

The Xen Project has reported another guest/host escape bug, its third for the year including the VENOM vuln and the XSA-135 SNAFU.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015
Lenovo Yoga 3 Pro Ultrabook

Intel tests definition of insanity with (leaked) typoslab Skylake CPUs

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
Chris Williams, 28 Jul 2015

Sysadmins: Your great power brings the chance to RUIN security

Risk management bod Kris French Junior has offered 10 tips to help security teams bin their boring, technical, and uniformed education schemes
Darren Pauli, 28 Jul 2015
NASA's Wi-Fi reflection chip
9

Wi-Fi 'reflector' hooks you up at 0.1 per cent of current power budget

By using absorption and reflection to indicate data states, NASA reckons it's created a Wi-Fi device for the wearable market that uses just 0.1 per cent of the power of ordinary transceivers.
One Plus 2

OnePlus 2: The smartie that's trying to outsmart Google's Android

First look Back in April, applecart-punching OnePlus made their first entry into mobiles with a new phone and an invite-only system that was popular with 'Droid fanciers but received an upturned nose and frosty shoulder from the big boys in the space.
Iain Thomson, 28 Jul 2015
The_Force_Trainer_01
5

Gamers zap brain-to-computer kit market to US$200m by 2020

Brain-to-Machine Interface (BMI) products will become a US$200m market by 2020, and the action will kick off this Christmas season according to analyst outfit ABI research.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015
Honeywell Tuxedo Touch
6

SOHOpeless: Security stains on Honeywell's Tuxedo home automator

Honeywell has issued an urgent firmware update for its three-year-old Tuxedo Touch home automation controller to patch vulnerabilities that could, among other things, let an attacker unlock users' deadlocks.
Wordpress logo

Automattic says spooks asked for something it can't reveal

Automattic, the company behind content management and blogging platform WordPress, has complained that it can't reveal the full extent of state intelligence agencies' requests to probe users' accounts.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015
Whack-a-mole

BONK! BONK! Windows 10 whack-a-mole – Microsoft still fixing bugs

Microsoft is still trying to crush the remaining bugs in its latest and supposedly greatest operating system.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jul 2015
SWAT

Bloke who tried to get journo killed by SWAT cops coughs to conspiracy charge

One of the individuals who swatted the home of investigative journalist Brian Krebs has pleaded guilty to a felony criminal charge.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jul 2015

Secretive trade pact the TTIP: Death of the web – or a brave new horizon?

Analysis The trinity of trans-Atlantic trade deals that have been under negotiation for two years appear to be heading toward some kind of initial conclusion.
Kieren McCarthy, 27 Jul 2015
brontosaurus
8

Buy a Tesla for the good of Australia, say country's dino-burners

Australia's energy industry, overwhelmingly dominated by the burning of dinosaurs, has decided the country needs more electric vehicles (EVs).
Selection of Australian banknotes
1

Software spec slip denies Westpac chance at a MILLION A DAY

Some of Australia's major banks' databases don't distinguish between loans to housing investors and owner-occupiers, meaning they're missing out on the chance to charge differential interest rates.
America

NSA: We'll move your metadata into /dev/null when you stop suing us

The NSA has said it will delete its mountain of private telephone records belonging to millions of Americans – just as soon as people stop suing it for having done so.
Iain Thomson, 27 Jul 2015
Fujitsu-Oracle Athena server logo

Debian Project holds Sparc port's hand, switches off life support

Following years of waning popularity, the Debian GNU/Linux Project has dropped support for the Sparc architecture, effective immediately.
Neil McAllister, 27 Jul 2015
6

Ahem, FCC, who do you think you are? The FTC?

A US Congressional hearing this week will ask two heads of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) some pointed questions about its recent spate of decisions, in particular auction rule changes and why it thinks it's the Federal Trade Commission (FTC).
Kieren McCarthy, 27 Jul 2015
Ouya
6

Game over, Ouya, the Android gaming console

Ouya has been purchased by games house Razer in a move that likely signals the end of the road for its self-titled Android gaming console.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Jul 2015
Sad Android

Got an Android phone? SMASH IT with a hammer – and do it NOW

Android smartphones can be secretly infected by malware smuggled in via video text messages, allowing criminals to sneak inside as many as 950 million devices.
Iain Thomson, 27 Jul 2015

Hold that upgrade: Critical bug in .NET 4.6 'breaks applications'

A critical bug in the optimizer in the just-released .NET 4.6 runtime could break and crash production applications, we're warned.
Tim Anderson, 27 Jul 2015
Google+

Google bows to inevitable, stops forcing Google+ logins on YouTubers

Google will get rid of any requirement to "use" its tumbleweed-tastic "social network" Google+ from YouTube and others of its popular websites, following mounting annoyance among users.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Jul 2015
Suits you

Don't suit up: Microsoft drops dress code for Android visitors

Windows will run Android binaries "unchanged", according to a Microsoft job posting.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Jul 2015
Ashlee Vance, Elon Musk: How the Billionaire CEO of SpaceX and Tesla is shaping our Future

EU graciously lets Dutch splurge €33m on 'leccy car charger network

The Netherlands is to fork out nearly €33m in public funds for electric car chargers after the European Commission gave its permission for the plan to go ahead on Monday.
Jennifer Baker, 27 Jul 2015
High-altitude snap from Dave Akerman's Cloud 7 payload

Zorawar Biri Singh lands Cisco CTO post as firm shuffles its top brass

Cisco has swapped one high-profile chief technology officer for another as incoming CEO Chuck Robbins expands his collection of new top brass.
Gavin Clarke, 27 Jul 2015
theresa_may_648

Email apparently from Home Office warns of emails apparently from Home Office

The Home Office has sent unsolicited emails to the public, warning that the Home Office will never send unsolicited emails to the public, and will not ask for personal information or passwords in an email.

Pope loses grip on Antarctica: Clergy withdraw from austral landmass

The Catholic Church is abandoning Antarctica as a faithless wasteland of pr0n-guzzling irredeemables – or, as the rest of the world knows them, scientists.
Credit: RodWey2004 Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Hawking, Musk, Woz (and Riley): ROBOTS will KILL US ALL

+Comment Notables of the technology world including physicist Stephen Hawking, biz baron Elon Musk and techno-hippy Steve Wozniak have teamed up with saucy actress minx Talulah Riley to warn us all about the menace of killer robots.
Lewis Page, 27 Jul 2015
Elephant

UK.gov: Are we talking about Big Data enough? Should we plug it more?

The UK government's Science and Technology Committee has today opened an inquiry tasked with "examining the opportunities and risks of big data."
Kat Hall, 27 Jul 2015

The Register presents its official Programming Competition

Calling all you programmers out there, we have a simple challenge and if you win you bag yourself a rather smart Smart TV.
David Gordon, 27 Jul 2015
Chimney_demolitioin

Plexistor's latest box sounds a lot like flash memory as virtual DRAM

Comment It's all about speed; the faster apps run the better, which means they can access and process data faster. In that vein, Plexistor, born in Israel's tech startup hot-house, claims it can turn commodity servers into data munchers running at incandescent speed.
Chris Mellor, 27 Jul 2015
Credit: Popolon Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

Hurrah! Windfarms produce whopping ONE PER CENT of EU energy

The colossal, hugely expensive windfarms that are spread across huge areas of Europe's land and sea, which are projected to drive up household energy bills by more than 50 per cent in coming years, have achieved ... almost nothing in terms of reducing EU carbon emissions.
Lewis Page, 27 Jul 2015
Samsung monitor adds wireless charging

Samsung emits mobe charging monitor. For your 'active lifestyle'

Samsung's latest SE370 monitor will have a wireless charging pad built into its plinth. This aims to de-clutter office drones' desks, or at least provide more space for other forms of clutter.
Simon Rockman, 27 Jul 2015

We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

With Windows 10 now just days away, we thought we'd put it on a small slablet of the sort you can pick up cheaply and see how it did - in this case a Linx 8. In short, it did not do well.
Tim Anderson, 27 Jul 2015
John Wiltshire, Data Center Operations, Google Dublin

Five data centres you can't live without

Ever wondered what happened after you clicked on ‘Like’ or did a search on Google? Well wonder no more because here’s five data centres that run your life.
Marcus Austin, 27 Jul 2015
Steve Ballmer. Pic:  Aanjhan Ranganathan

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Analysis Less than two years into Satya Nadella's tenure as CEO of Microsoft, he's already had to report a lossmaking quarter. It's only the second time that's happened in the software giant's three decades as a public company, and the $8.44bn write-off Redmond posted earlier this week is the largest in its history.
Neil McAllister, 27 Jul 2015
Violin_G_Dead_webpage
9

Violin Memory thinks it'll boost sales by copying face cream giants

Comment The Grateful Dead concert was only the start to a sustained, brand-led marketing effort by Violin Memory, which aims to rewrite the rules of tech product marketing.
Chris Mellor, 27 Jul 2015
HP Spectre x360

If Microsoft made laptops, it'd make this: HP Spectre x360

Review What happens when you lock a group of product engineers from a major PC manufacturer and a team software developers from a separate company together in a room? HP's Spectre x360 does. It's the result of some serious conversations between the lads and lasses at Hewlett-Packard and Microsoft; put simply, if Microsoft made a Surface laptop, it would be a lot like this.
Alun Taylor, 27 Jul 2015
backdoor_648

Unhinged Linux backdoor still poses a nuisance, if not a threat

Internet Igors have stitched together a new Linux backdoor. Fortunately for internet hygiene the botnet agent – which packs a variety of powerful features – is faulty and only partially functional.
John Leyden, 27 Jul 2015
dumb_and_dumber_648

Gamers Steaming over dumb Valve password vuln

Over the weekend, game publisher Valve patched a vulnerability that let user accounts have their passwords reset without proper validation.

'Plague Scanner' controls multiple AV engines, for $0.00

Security researcher Robert Simmons has released a tool that offers a new level of stealth to the malware cat-and-mouse skirmish by shrouding binary analysis.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jul 2015
willy wonka oompa loompa
9

Google to block access to unofficial autocomplete API

Google has decided the autocomplete API it informally offers will no longer be available for “unauthorised” users as of August 10th.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jul 2015
classroom_shutterstock_648

New study into lack of women in Tech: It's NOT the men's fault

A new study into causes of the scarcity of women in technical and scientific fields says that it is not discrimination by men in the field keeping the ladies away. Nor is it a repugnance felt by women for possibly dishevelled or unhygienic male nerds.
Lewis Page, 27 Jul 2015
5

AT&T: Sorry vendors, SDN is eating your lunch

In news that will chill purveyors of big networking iron, AT&T last week told its earnings call it reckons its software-defined network (SDN) rollout will cut its capital expenditure.
White boxes
6

Software-defined what? Look at our glorious ASICs says Cisco

Cisco's taking up arms against a sea of white-box vendors, touting US$150 million worth of silicon in the form of an ASIC.
Tommy Lee Jones delivers implied facepalm. From No Country for Old Men  Copyright Miramax Pictures. 2007.
6

Oracle storage analytics break Oracle storage appliances

Oracle has warned that the analytics features of its ZFS storage appliances can result in “unresponsive” systems.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jul 2015

Invisible app ads slug smartmobes with 2GB of daily downloads

Invisible rogue mobile apps are wasting petabytes of data a day through an advertising hijacking technique researchers say could inflict US$1 billion in damages this year.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jul 2015
7

Pakistan bans BlackBerry Enterprise Server

Pakistan has reportedly ordered the nation's carriers to cease offering services that route email through BlackBerry Enterprise Server (BES), a product that among other things encrypts email.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jul 2015

Today's smart home devices are too dumb to succeed

At the end of 2012, working hard on my own connected lighting startup, MooresCloud, I got very excited to find out that Philips planned to launch Hue, the company's own full-spectrum connected lights. I bought a ‘starter pack’ of three soon after release, and played with them for weeks.
Mark Pesce, 27 Jul 2015
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Australia to tax ALL international online purchases

Australia's treasurer Joe Hockey has hinted that the mooted changes to the way the country's Goods and Services Tax (GST) is collected may apply to anything purchased from overseas, regardless of value.
A Handful of Giant Weta by Mike Locke

Ubuntu defibrillates 14.10 for one LAST patch

Ubuntu has changed its mind on an end-of-life announcement, giving Version 14.10 one last kernel patch to cover off some big vulns.
Dunce's cap graffiti by https://www.flickr.com/photos/lord-jim/ cc 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
9

Oz opposition spraying perfume on metadata dead cat

The Australian Labor Party, which first conceived what ultimately became Australia's telecommunications data retention legislation and then, from opposition, waved the laws through, is having second third forth thoughts a pang of regret.
You can't shut me up, Jennifer Moo, Flickr, CC 2.0
5

Optus tells Department of Comms to sit down and shut up

The relationship between the Australian government and the telco sector continues to deteriorate, with more carriers pushing back against Canberra's micro-management of their operations, with both industry regulation and security reforms as ongoing battlegrounds.
E-ink parking sign in Sydney

Sydney adopts 'world's first' e-ink parking signs

The Australian city of Sydney has adopted e-ink-equipped parking signs.
Simon Sharwood, 26 Jul 2015
Neil Armstrong's Lunar suit

SPACESUIT, once FOUND ON MOON: Crowd action saves it for the public

The very suit in which pioneering 'naut Neil Armstrong made his historic moonwalks is to go on show to the public – thanks in large part to a successful crowdfunding appeal for half a million bucks that will bankroll the exhibition.
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Jul 2015

Boffins' audacious plan to blow up aircraft foiled by bomb-proof bag

Forsaken planes have been used in a series of boffinry experiments this week to test whether a bag lined with bomb-proof material could withstand an explosive blast.
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Jul 2015

Fiat Chrysler recall BLUNDERING could lump carmaker with $105m fine – report

Fiat Chrysler may cop a record-breaking fine from US authorities following a series of bungles.
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Jul 2015
A member of Vulture Central poses in the SPB Equation t-shirt
8

NEW, LOVELY, UNTOUCHED - a second EARTH waiting across the stars

QuoTW Frankly the rest of the quotes this week are a bit overshadowed by the one from NASA saying that "the nearest thing yet" to the discovery of a second known Earth-like habitable world has been made.
Team Register, 26 Jul 2015
Alf Garnett

Happy birthday Alf Garnett, you daft, reactionary old git

Feature It’s 50 years ago this week that writer Johnny Speight leapt to fame with his creation of the bigoted conservative Cockney known as Alf Garnett, the loudmouth star of Speight’s sitcom Till Death Us Do Part.
Phil Strongman, 26 Jul 2015
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IT in Iran: Servers sold on the grey market, and the rule of FOSS

The eXpat Files Usually for the eXpat Files we talk to folk who have moved to another country. But this week, Vulture Weekend has varied things a little to chat to 28 year-old Roozbeh Shafiee from Tehran, Iran.
Simon Sharwood, 26 Jul 2015

So what the BLINKING BONKERS has gone wrong in the eurozone?

Worstall @ the Weekend A while ago, one of The Register's anonymous cowards posted a question about inflation.
Tim Worstall, 26 Jul 2015