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The Week in Summary

Angry woman on mobile

Cheapo telcos fined for their cheapo security: Financial records on 305,000 people spilled

American watchdog the FCC is fining a pair of US mobile operators for an astonishing lack of security in handling customer information.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Oct 2014
LG Nuclun mobile SoC

LG taps TSMC to bake its first-ever mobile chip

South Korea's LG Electronics has announced its first self-made mobile system-on-chip (SoC), along with plans to debut the chip in a new smartphone to be released within the week.
Neil McAllister, 25 Oct 2014
2

FCC: You'll have to wait even longer for faster wireless broadband

The FCC today said it will delay its planned wireless broadband spectrum auction until at least 2016.
Shaun Nichols, 24 Oct 2014
Alan Eustace
7

Breaking news: Google exec in terrifying SKY PLUNGE DRAMA

A Google executive has broken the record for the highest free fall to Earth – in a largely self-funded stunt to explore the stratosphere.
Iain Thomson, 24 Oct 2014
2

Revealed: The amazing magical innovation in the iPad Mini 3 – a lick of paint

Teardown Ready to ditch your iPad Mini 2 for the latest and greatest miniature fondleslab from Apple? You may not get much more for your money.
Shaun Nichols, 24 Oct 2014
Scrooge McDuck
8

Silicon Valley scrooges paid staff $1.21 an hour in a 122-hour week

A successful Silicon Valley firm has admitted paying staff $1.21 an hour and working them for more than 120 hours a week.
Iain Thomson, 24 Oct 2014
Admiral Ackbar

Wanna hop carriers with your iPad's Apple SIM? Don't hop on AT&T

If you're looking forward to using the new iPads' multi-carrier Apple SIM in the US, don't pick AT&T as your first choice – or you'll lose the ability to switch to another carrier altogether.
Neil McAllister, 24 Oct 2014
Counterfeit FTDI USB-to-serial adapter chips

FTDI yanks chip-bricking driver from Windows Update, vows to fight on

Chipmaker FTDI has pulled a driver from Windows Update that could brick devices containing knockoff versions of its USB-to-serial bridge chips, but says it won't back down on its aggressive anti-counterfeiting stance.
Neil McAllister, 24 Oct 2014
9

Moment of truth for LOHAN's servos: Our US allies are poised for final test flight

The matter of whether our Vulture 2 spaceplane's servos will freeze at altitude will be resolved on Saturday by our US allies at Edge Research Lab, when they send a complete spaceplane autopilot/battery/servo rig stratowards.
Lester Haines, 24 Oct 2014
3

Activist investors force Riverbed into climbdown over cash 'n' costs

Comment Another one bites the dust as activist investor Elliott Management forces networking biz Riverbed into a strategic review of its options.
Chris Mellor, 24 Oct 2014
LG_icecream_phone
5

Screw the guvmint, vows CEO of ubiquitous Korean jabber app KakaoTalk

The boss of South Korea's leading messaging app KakaoTalk has apologised for handing access to users' private conversations to the country's authorities and vowed it won't happen again.
Jennifer Baker, 24 Oct 2014

32,000 Hungarians plan to take to the streets for 'internet tax' protest

More than 30,000 people have pledged to stage a protest against Hungary's proposed internet tax law in the capital on Sunday.
Jennifer Baker, 24 Oct 2014
iMessage
6

iMessage SPAM floods US mobile networks

China-based counterfeiters are spamvertising knock-off designer goods using Apple iMessage instead of using conventional email spam runs.
John Leyden, 24 Oct 2014

Microsoft discovers long-lost phone division down back of sofa

Nokia phones generated $2.6bn in revenue for Microsoft as the division arrested its decline. Redmond sold 9.3m Lumia devices in the quarter, the most ever.
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Oct 2014

Ubuntu's shiny 10th birthday Unicorn: An upgrade fantasy

Review For a celebratory 10th birthday release, Ubuntu 14.10 is a bit of a damp squib.
Microsoft Surface bomb

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Analysis This weekend marks two years since Windows 8 and Surface were launched at a press event at Pier 57 on the Hudson River in New York.
Tim Anderson, 24 Oct 2014
Killer whale

Bitcasa bins $10-a-month Infinite storage offer

Comment One of the oddest cloud storage offers ever has just been binned as Bitcasa bumps into reality. When sprats are competing with killer whales what do you expect?
Chris Mellor, 24 Oct 2014
Microsoft campus
1

Techies: Meet the Microsoft A Team at Future Decoded

Promo Microsoft is running a huge conference - Future Decoded - in London’s ExCeL centre on November 10-12. The Tech Day on Day 3 has a huge agenda, big name keynote speakers, eight training tracks – and one track dedicated to entrepreneurial startups and students.
David Gordon, 24 Oct 2014
Star Trek: Deep Space 9

CBS goes OTT, releases EVERY EPISODE of Star Trek EVER MADE

Only a day after HBO announced its OTT intentions, CBS followed suit and unveiled its own online ambitions – with archived content, current shows and livestreams in CBS’s 14 largest markets.
Faultline, 24 Oct 2014
Transporter_Genesis_bezel
5

Dropbox-but-with-an-actual-box firm touts new biz appliances

Private cloud firm Connected Data has birthed a business-class, private cloud/file sync 'n' share product based on its consumer Transporter product's base.
Chris Mellor, 24 Oct 2014
2

Lucky you. Twitter offers you its 'Digits' (for mobe app sign-ins)

Twitter's launch of a service that provides a new way to sign up to apps without using passwords has received a cautious welcome from security experts.
John Leyden, 24 Oct 2014
6

We chat to CloudFlare about its 'EVERYBODY GETS SSL' venture

Interview CloudFlare boss Matthew Prince is hoping the firm's project to roll out SSL support to customers who use its free cloud-based web hosting service will inspire other internet firms to build out a fully encrypted web.
John Leyden, 24 Oct 2014

Meet Mr Gamification: He's got a NUDGE or two for you

Battle of Ideas Do you ever get invited to talk and wish that Steve Bong was there instead of you? That’s what happened to me last weekend. The subject was "gamification" at the Battle of Ideas. Things got really strange, really quickly – I think you’ll find what is coming up to be quite eye-opening - but I’m sure Steve would have taken it all in his stride.
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Oct 2014
8

Cisco patches three-year-old remote code-execution hole

A three-year-old dangerous remote code execution hole affecting Cisco kit has been patched.
Darren Pauli, 24 Oct 2014
Sea Harriers

Kingston's aviation empire: From industry firsts to Airfix heroes

Geek's Guide to Britain He learned to fly aged 22, set up his first aircraft factory aged 24 and by 30 his fighters dominated the skies over the Western Front.
Gavin Clarke, 24 Oct 2014
Allan_Kay_and_Dynabook_prototype
3

Pssst. Want to buy a timeshare in the clouds?

Comment Three questions: is baby turning into a monster? Are we desktop/notebook/tablet/smartphone users becoming the near-as-dammit slaves of social media and retail monopolists? Are these monopolists destroying jobs and impoverishing people faster than networked smart device and software technologies are creating jobs and enriching their users' lives?
Chris Mellor, 24 Oct 2014
Samsung 840 EVO SSD

WIN a 1TB monster Samsung EVO 840 SSD

Competition SSDs, doncha love ’em? Blisteringly fast and no mechanical parts but all too often you’re faced with a capacity compromise. Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that are worth over £300 apiece.
Team Register, 24 Oct 2014
Image of HAL eye from 2001 movie with Chrome logo in eye
1

Google absorbs Oxford Uni boffins in artificial intelligence boost quest

Google has hired seven academics from Oxford University and signed partnerships with the engineering and computer science facilities to help it develop its DeepMind artificial intelligence system.
Iain Thomson, 24 Oct 2014

Something about this really STINKS: Rosetta probe shoves nose under comet's tail

The Rosetta probe that's orbiting comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko may be preoccupied with locking down its plans for landing on the surface, but there's still science to be done – and boffins have been taking a sniff of how the space snowball smells.
Iain Thomson, 24 Oct 2014

Rackspace launches big red rack eater

Rackspace has flicked the switch on the third version of its RackConnect hybrid cloud-maker.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014
Queen Elizabeth photobombs members of the Australian hockey team at the Commonwealth Games

Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries

Adorkable, photobomb, overshare, Tinder. What do these words have in common? Apart from being ridiculous portmanteaus and brand names that have made their way into common usage, they’re also words that will feature in this year’s new dictionaries.
Comet Siding Spring from 8.5m kms out

MAVEN snaps eight-bit SPACE INVADER

Comet Siding springs is proving a tricky subject for photography.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014
juniper

'Careful management of headcount' for Juniper after tepid quarter

Juniper Networks has reported a difficult third quarter that left CEO Shaygan Kheradpir “disappointed” by “lower-than-anticipated demand from service providers, particularly in the U.S.”
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014
7

Boffins want to put Quanta in containers, after docking

Don't laugh: a group of Japanese and Australian boffins want to use container ships to carry around entangled quanta.
5

Yahoo! Timestamps! Now! Block! Facebook! Email! Snoops!

Facebook has begun using a Yahoo! email standard created in August last year to prevent snooping through the acquisition of old addresses.
Darren Pauli, 24 Oct 2014

Remember the Aereo streaming TV service? Wasn't it COOL? Well, it's pretty much dead now

Embattled streaming TV service Aereo was dealt a fatal blow Thursday as a US judge barred the service from broadcasting live television streams.
Shaun Nichols, 24 Oct 2014
5

Samsung gets virtual with tiny S5 upgrade and goggle grab

A small upgrade to the Samsung Galaxy S5 has popped up on Samsung's dutch web site? The phone is identical in all regards to the S5, save in the fact that it uses a Qualcomm CPU running at 2.5 Ghz. The original S5 runs at 2.7Ghz.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014
hands waving dollar bills in the air

Would you blow $5.6m to own a dot-word? Meet a bloke who did just that

A further $13m was spent yesterday on auctions for the ownership rights to three new soul-sapping dot-word domains: .spot, .salon and .realty.
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Oct 2014
9

Moscow, Beijing poised to sign deal on joint cyber security ops

Moscow and Beijing will next month sign a deal to commence joint information security projects and operations, and to increase cooperation in the space, according to a popular Russian newspaper with ties to President Vladimir Putin.
Darren Pauli, 24 Oct 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos rolls up another $437m, lights Amazon's cigar with it

It's not black magic that Amazon works on its financial results each quarter but red magic – because however massive a haul of cash the company pulls in, it just can't seem to turn a profit. Odd, that.
Neil McAllister, 24 Oct 2014
Glorious future of China

Facebook, IBM, court future Chinese elite

Beijing's Tsinghua University School of Economics and Management has signed up two tech titans to its advisory board: Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and IBM President and CEO Ginni Rometty.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014

Whisper. Explain this 'questionable' behavior – senior US senator

US Senator Jay Rockefeller has sent a terse letter [PDF] to the CEO of "anonymous" messaging app Whisper about its privacy policies.
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Oct 2014
Facebook Rooms

GET A ROOM, yells Facebook as it stumbles on IRC, slaps it in an app

Facebook has built an internet chat-room app that lets people anonymously gossip with one another, just like on IRC.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Oct 2014
Satya Nadella

Microsoft: Cloud-o-bile still only small slice of softening revenue pie

Microsoft reported revenues that beat estimates for Q1 of fiscal 2015, boosted by strong growth in cloud and mobility. But its solid-looking numbers belied ongoing softness in its traditional core markets.
Neil McAllister, 23 Oct 2014
ello
8

Hello, Ello. Still no ads and no features to sell. What do? Bag $5.5m

Hipster-chic anti-Facebook wannabe Ello is today $5.5m richer, apparently – and hopes to silence critics of its no-ads manifesto with a renewed vow to never sell adverts nor user data.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Oct 2014
Tim Cook
5

Apple: We're still GREAT pals with GT and we'd LOVE to team up again

Apple hasn't given up on scratch-resistant sapphire glass for future products and it might even continue to work with GT Advanced Technologies on the material despite its past difficulties with the company, according to documents released on Thursday.
Neil McAllister, 23 Oct 2014

Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

Adobe has tweaked its Digital Editions 4 desktop ebook reader to now encrypt the data it secretly sends back to headquarters – data that details a user's reading habits.
Iain Thomson, 23 Oct 2014
Costumed pirate

France to draft blacklist banning alleged piracy websites – what could POSSIBLY go wrong?

France looks set to increase funding and power for its controversial piracy-battling Hadopi agency.
Jennifer Baker, 23 Oct 2014
Storiant software
9

Upstart brags about cheaper-than-Amazon private cold data cloud

Storiant is an object storage startup which claims its customers can use its technology to store petabyte-scale data in a private cloud at a price below public cloud storage. How does it pull this trick off?
Chris Mellor, 23 Oct 2014
Alun Taylor dons Google tech specs Google Glass

Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec

Hoping to woo the ladies with your shiny new Google Glass? Don't bother, because no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre, an HP bigwig has claimed.
Jasper Hamill, 23 Oct 2014
Visual Studio

Entity Framework goes 'code first' as Microsoft pulls visual design tool

Microsoft will retire the visual design tool for its Entity Framework (EF) database tool in the upcoming version 7, in favour of a text-based “code first” approach.
Tim Anderson, 23 Oct 2014

Ubuntu 14.10 tries pulling a Steve Ballmer on cloudy offerings

“It hurts my eyes,” Steve Ballmer once joshed during a demonstration of Microsoft’s Virtual Server 2005 Service Pack 1 managing Red Hat Linux.
Gavin Clarke, 23 Oct 2014

Lollipop unwrapped: Chromium WebView will update via Google Play

Android 5.0, codenamed Lollipop, has introduced a key change to the WebView component, used by app developers to display HTML 5 content within their apps, making new features more readily available.
Tim Anderson, 23 Oct 2014
JassyAWs

Amazon's AWS opens data center in Germany – just as we said

Amazon’s European mainland customers wary of US spies can now build scalable clouds on AWS and stay entirely on the Continent. The giant today announced the opening of a data centre in Frankfurt, Germany – just as we reported it would in July.
Gavin Clarke, 23 Oct 2014
5

Speaking in Tech: Too fat for MARS!

Podcast Podcast Join Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela, co-hosts of our weekly techcast, who are missing the party in Barcelona to bring you the piping hot news from the world of technology … First off, they discuss the hypothetical all-female Mars crew – who needs men when you have robots? Speaking of robots... certain tech cast hosts don' …
Team Register, 23 Oct 2014
Zombies, credit: Wikimedia from Night of The Living Dead

Ad-borne Cryptowall ransomware is set to claim FRESH VICTIMS

Security watchers are warning of a surge in CryptoWall ransomware victims this month that will coincide with a campaign to spread a new variant of the malware though advertising networks.
John Leyden, 23 Oct 2014
Woman puts hand in camera lens. Pic: Steve Purkiss

DOUBLE BONK: Testy fanbois catch Apple Pay picking pockets

Tim Cook's dream of bonking-to-pay global domination has taken a serious battering after customers using the new Apple Pay system were double charged.
Jasper Hamill, 23 Oct 2014
Acer C720 Chromebook

Consumers start feeling the love as Chromebook sales surge

Chromebooks are set to become the next big thing in personal computing devices after sales skyrocketed by two thirds over the last quarter.
Gavin Clarke, 23 Oct 2014

Zuckerberg bombshell: Man married to Chinese woman speaks Chinese in China

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg shocked a Chinese audience with his mastery of Mandarin – a language that's as difficult to master as his website's privacy settings.
Jasper Hamill, 23 Oct 2014
Cloud_Computing

Web Developers: Autumnal webinars throw light on the Cloud

Promo Microsoft is running a raft of Azure training events throughout October to help you get onboard its cloud platform, whether you’re a neophyte or an experienced web developer.
David Gordon, 23 Oct 2014
Joe Tucci EMC
3

Hey, Joe. Give EMC the gun and SHOOT IT DOWN - before someone else messes 'round town

Comment What should we do about the EMC Federation and the coming retirement of its founder and architect Joe Tucci?
Chris Mellor, 23 Oct 2014
Deinocheirus mirificus

LONG ARM of the SAUR: Brachially gifted dino bone conundrum solved

The secrets of a long-armed, “totally bizarre” dinosaur have finally been plumbed after bone-boffins unearthed a much fuller specimen of the odd creature.
Fujitsu_CS200c

There's a lot more to backup than you thought

If backup is too often an afterthought, have you considered its even poorer relation, archive. You haven’t? What a surprise.
Chris Mellor, 23 Oct 2014

Nokia STORMS back into profit, FREE from phones and Windows

Nokia reported solid results on Thursday even after giving long-suffering shareholders a dividend and taking the hit of a one-time charge.
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Oct 2014

Are there sounds on Mars? NASA launches audio athenaeum

Audiophiles at NASA have published more than 60 samples of historical space artefacts to the administration's Soundcloud account.
Darren Pauli, 23 Oct 2014
Steve Crocker, ICANN chairman

The future health of the internet comes down to ONE simple question…

Analysis When was the last time you gave any thought to how the internet actually works? Despite the extraordinary and never-ending growth in people and devices that connect to the internet every second of every day, we have never seen the equivalent of Twitter’s Fail Whale. The internet, as a whole, just doesn’t go down.
Kieren McCarthy, 23 Oct 2014
Flash Gordon

Flash! Ah-ahh: Storage in 2014

Register now to watch our webcast that explores the benefits of cheaper Flash Storage in 2014 — How do you buy, configure and manage it?
David Gordon, 23 Oct 2014
Lenovo N20p touchscreen Chromebook

Vulture trails claw across Lenovo's touchy N20p Chromebook

Review A friend recently introduced me to a North West fast-food tradition called half-and-half. That’s chips, rice and curry sauce to those of us born and raised in the more enlightened parts of the realm. It’s not a combination I’d considered before, but truth be told it’s a pleasant repast. Especially after a beer or three.
Alun Taylor, 23 Oct 2014
7

Xen says its security policies might be buggier than its software

The Xen project has asked for help to ensure future bugs aren't as disruptive as the XSA-108 flaw that saw major cloud operators reboot an awful lot of servers.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Oct 2014
gTLD graphic
7

Want to own .app, .blog or .pet? Best sell a third of yourself for $100m on London Stock Exchange

Internet registry Afilias hopes to build a $100m (£62.3m) war chest by floating on the London Stock Exchange – just in time to spend the cash snapping up the rights to new dot-word domains.
Kieren McCarthy, 23 Oct 2014
Adobe Media Server for HDS/HLS streams on HP servers

Microsoft EU warns: If you have ties to the US, Feds can get your data

Apple, Cisco, Verizon and AT&T are considering joining Microsoft’s battle against the US government to safeguard customers' privacy – but European corps should also take note.
Jennifer Baker, 23 Oct 2014

Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Climate change may be causing alpine goats to shrink in size, according to biologists at Durham University.
Team Register, 23 Oct 2014
7

Quick PHP patch beats slow research reveal

Patches have been flung out to cover vulnerabilities in PHP that led to remote code execution and buffer overflows.
Darren Pauli, 23 Oct 2014
padlock
1

NIST to hypervisor admins: Pro-tip, secure your systems

US standards body the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) has laid out the basics of hypervisor security in a draft publication released for comment on 20 October.
BMC Software logo
1

Newly-private BMC gets cloud/social/mainframe (!) religion

Newly-privatised BMC thinks it can re-invent - nay, disrupt - itself by cashing in on on all of 2014's biggest buzzwords: cloud, social, mobile and disruption. And mainframe, for good measure.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Oct 2014
NBN Co Customer premises equipment
2

NBN Co reports fibre traction and Telstra action

NBN Co has made the slightly awkward announcement that it's more than tripled the number of premises connected to its fibre network in the past year, while maintaining its commitment to the multi-technology model for future rollouts.
Obama and Silicon Valley dinner, Official White House Photo by Pete Souza

In the next four weeks, 100 people will decide the future of the web

On February 8, 2000, the US government signed a contract with the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) to run the so-called "IANA functions" – which glue together the internet as we know it.
Kieren McCarthy, 23 Oct 2014

Privacy complaints skyrocketed in 2013-14, says Pilgrim

Privacy breach complaints in Australia nearly tripled between 2013 and 2014, according to the soon-to-be-defunct Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (OAIC).
The concrete blocks available for our rocket motor testing

Chipmaker FTDI bricking counterfeit kit

Reports are emerging that chip-maker FTDI has declared war on chip counterfeiters with a driver update that bricks USB devices recognised as fakes.
iMac with Retina 5K Display

Forget the $2499 5K iMac – today we reveal Apple's most expensive computer to date

Pic When Bonhams put a vintage Apple I computer on the block, the Brit auction house thought the tech antique would fetch as much as $500,000.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Oct 2014
gavel_judgment_channel
8

Whistleblower behind PM's daughter scholarship leak must wait for fate

Freya Newman, the Sydney student who pled guilty to illegally using login credentials to leak documents about a scholarship awarded to the daughter of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott, won't learn her fate until November 25th.
Darren Pauli, 23 Oct 2014
Neanderthal display in museum

RUMPY PUMPY: Bone says humans BONED Neanderthals 50,000 years B.C.

Boffins in Germany have extracted the oldest human DNA yet discovered – from a 45,000-year-old thigh bone found in Siberia.
Iain Thomson, 23 Oct 2014
7

Disney and chums halt Comcast-TWC, AT&T-DirecTV weddings

US watchdog the FCC has hit the brakes while scrutinizing the proposed mergers of Comcast-Time Warner, and AT&T-DirecTV.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Oct 2014
Glorious future of China
9

Smartphone giant _____ puts citizens' private data beyond reach of oppressive regime _____

Chinese Apple wannabe Xiaomi says it's spent much of the past year migrating its online services out of its Beijing data centers so that it can better serve customers in international markets.
Neil McAllister, 22 Oct 2014

How to hit the top of Google's rankings: 'Use a new dot-thing gTLD'

If you want to get higher up Google's search rankings, it turns out that using a new dot-thing domain – such as .guru or .ninja – may give you the edge.
Kieren McCarthy, 22 Oct 2014

Google opens Inbox – email for people too thick to handle email

Vid Email has been around for better than 40 years – but Google thinks you just can't handle its fiendish complexity. And lo, the web king has developed an application dubbed Inbox to make an easy job easier.
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
Un Frog

Nokia France leak: Windows Phone DUMPED in Microsoft Lumia revamp

The French wing of Microsoft's Nokia mobile device division appears to have confirmed some Windows Phone rebranding efforts that have been rumored for the past few months.
Neil McAllister, 22 Oct 2014

SNIA's Australia/New Zealand chapter winds itself up

The Storage Networking Industry Association's (SNIA's) Australia and New Zealand chapter has decided to wind itself up.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Oct 2014

Pay a tax on every gigabyte you download? Haha, that's too funny. But not to Hungarians

Hungary is threatening to tax its broadband providers for every gigabyte their subscribers use.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Oct 2014
6

Australia to 'relieve' telcos of need to disclose intercepts

Updated The federal government's “red tape repeal” policy looks set to reduce the amount of information Australians receive about telecommunications interception requests.
Qualcomm Atheros hybrid network

Is your home or office internet gateway one of '1.2 MILLION' wide open to hijacking?

Hundreds of thousands of routers, firewalls and gateways used by small offices and homes are said to be vulnerable to hijacking due to bungled NAT settings.
John Leyden, 22 Oct 2014

Guns don't scare people, hackers do: Americans fear identity theft more than shooting sprees

A survey into what Americans fear most has shown that fears of identity theft and being unsafe online outweigh the fear of being shot.
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
Tim Cook Apple CEO with glowing green eyes, dark glasses a la Demon Headmaster
9

Chinese hackers slurp iCloud passwords, Apple's CEO jumps into his jet for China

Apple boss Tim Cook has met top Chinese officials following a major attack on the security of the iCloud website – an assault that some security analysts have blamed on Beijing.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Oct 2014
4

Big Azure? Microsoft and IBM ink deal on business cloud

IBM and Microsoft’s Azure cloud are blending after the two firms inked an enterprise partnership.
Gavin Clarke, 22 Oct 2014
One Windows: Windows 10 will be delivered on multiple device types

Microsoft promises Windows 10 will mean two-factor auth for all

Windows doesn't have the best reputation for security, but Microsoft has been outlining a series of improvements in the new operating system that it believes will stymie hackers and leave corporate data more secure.
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
EMC_REvs_To_Q3fy2014

EMC profits flatline as VCE joins the storage-tastic federation

For its third quarter EMC reported good numbers but the news is overshadowed by the expected VCE announcement and the activist investor pressure on the Hopkinton firm.
Chris Mellor, 22 Oct 2014

DEATH by PowerPoint: Microsoft warns of 0-day attack hidden in slides

Hackers are exploiting a zero-day vulnerability in Windows using malicious PowerPoint documents, Microsoft and security firms warn.
John Leyden, 22 Oct 2014
Magnetic fields of sunspots interacting

Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

+Comment A drop in the solar wind of a kind never yet seen in the space age has made travel beyond Earth orbit a lot more dangerous, according to boffins – so much so that a manned mission to Mars may not be feasible for many decades.
Lewis Page, 22 Oct 2014
6

VMware, Cisco, EMC lovechild to live in Big Daddy EMC's house

As rumoured, VCE, the three-way love child of VMware, Cisco and EMC, is to be absorbed into the EMC Federation this quarter.
Chris Mellor, 22 Oct 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Facebook has responded to critics who attacked the free content ad network for contributing exactly zero bucks to UK corporation tax in 2012, by dishing up a a tiny sum of just £3,000 to HM Revenue & Customs last year.
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

APPLE support doc CONFIRMS 'ORGANIZED NETWORK ATTACKS'

Apple is warning its iCloud users over heightened spying risks following the discovery of attacks which security watchers have claimed are down to crude snooping by the Chinese government.
John Leyden, 22 Oct 2014
3

Look out, it's 'H' from Brussels: New Euro digi-czars take post

It’s official. Europe’s new digital dream team will feature Andrus “The Robot” Ansip and gaffe-prone Günther “H” Oettinger.*
Jennifer Baker, 22 Oct 2014
Lufthansa plane

Lufthansa tosses IT biz to Big Blue, inks outsource deal with IBM

Lufthansa has announced that it’s about to sell off its IT infrastructure division to IBM and rent IT services from Big Blue in an outsourcing partnership.
Panzura Quicksilver cloud storage controller
4

Panzura's cloudy gear hits others' WAN optimisation kit for six

Cloudy firm Panzura's cloud storage gateway is saving distributed projects businesses enormous amounts of time when opening shared project files, it claims. So much so that Panzura is now focusing on the Architectural, Engineering, and Construction (AEC) market niche.
Chris Mellor, 22 Oct 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos
1

Amazon rolls cloud and on-prem into single sign-on service

Amazon has revealed plans to tie AWS to customers’ Earth-bound Microsoft IT estates and infrastructure using a directory service.
Gavin Clarke, 22 Oct 2014
Tubbs from the League of Gentlemen. Illustration by Doeth Gwraig

Warning to those who covet the data of Internet of Precious Things

Data generated by devices in the "internet of things" age should be "regarded and treated as personal data", data protection authorities from across the globe have agreed.
OUT-LAW.COM, 22 Oct 2014
A boat full of Fail

Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

A number of Google services including Gmail, Contacts, Calendars, Chat, Drive and, er, Google+ suffered a midweek sag this morning just as Brits were downing their first cups of coffee.
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

It's Big, it's Blue... it's simply FABLESS! IBM's chip-free future

Worstall on Wednesday IBM has coughed up $1.5bn to get Global Foundries to take its chip manufacturing arm off its hands as reported here at El Reg.
Tim Worstall, 22 Oct 2014
ISO7816 Tattoo

Managing identity to drive business

Register now to watch our webcast about why digital interaction with customers needs large-scale identity management and how it’s done.
David Gordon, 22 Oct 2014

Computer misuse: Brits could face LIFE IN PRISON for serious hacking offences

British computer hackers who severely damage the national security of any country could face life in prison under a new criminal offence proposed in the Serious Crime Bill, however the plan has been attacked for lacking legal certainty by MPs and peers.
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014
Are you ready for your closeup, comet siding springs?

Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill

The first images of Comet Siding Spring, a celestial body deemed so menacing that humanity cocooned its very best robots, has turned out to be rather smaller than imagined.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Oct 2014
9

Pagers shout data center creds, pop star airport arrivals

Anyone wanting to know the time world leaders arrive in Australia for the coming G20 summit need only listen to broadcasts from Aussie airports, researcher Ed Farrell has claimed at the Ruxcon conference.
Darren Pauli, 22 Oct 2014
3

HPC Wales stretches its reach to Northern Ireland

Northern Ireland is to get what's touted as its first HPC service, courtesy of a deal between Fujitsu and HPC Wales.
Kit

Really... an iKeyfob? Apple continues war on fanbois' pockets

Apple has been granted a patent for an iKeyfob capable of unlocking doors, starting the engine and turning your car into a less good version of KITT from Knight Rider.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Oct 2014
putin topless
5

VMware's new enemy no. 1 isn't Hyper-V, it's Vladimir Putin

You can tell a lot about how a company is going by listening to financial analysts' questions at the end of an earnings conference call. When things are good – as they were in VMware's Q1 earnings call – analysts can almost gush. If there's a hint of weakness or illogic, analysts can find all sorts of things about which to ask picky questions.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Oct 2014
8

Freescale lassos Ethernet cables around car, calls it 'Internet of Things'

Freescale is showing off in-car Ethernet infotainment technology inexplicably pitched as an “Internet of Things” solution.
Evil Android

NOT OK GOOGLE: Android images can conceal code

Someone's found (yet) another nasty security flaw in Android, by crafting a way to pack malicious software to look like images.
Xerox PARC's world-changing Alto
9

PARC Alto source code released by computer history museum

The Computer History Museum in Mountain View has released another foundational piece of software to the world at large: some of the code that gave the world the Xerox Alto computer, which among other things helped inspire a couple of young garage developers, Steves Jobs and Wozniak.

In dot we trust: If you keep to this 124-page security rulebook, you can own yourname.trust

NCC Group has published a set of security standards that you'll have to follow if you want to operate a .trust website.
Kieren McCarthy, 22 Oct 2014
hoverboard

Back to the ... drawing board: 'Hoverboard' will disappoint Marty McFly wannabes

The internet is aflutter over the Kickstarter campaign for the "Hendo Hoverboard", a magnetically levitating toy that the firm alleges will be available on October 21, 2015 – the same day that Michael J Fox programmed into the De Lorean for the second Back to the Future film.
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
4

Broadcom pitches chips at G.fast OEMs

Broadcom has become the latest vendor to stake out its ground in the G.fast market, as the ITU's standardisation bods stretch their hands slowly towards the rubber stamp.
The standard USB 3 connector

Google puts Chrome credentials on USB drives for two-factor authentication

Google has announced support for a platform which will allow users to log into applications by pressing a button on a secured USB drive.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Oct 2014
Lyft cars

San Franciscans: Lyft and UberX want to take you to the airport

Bay Area residents looking to get to San Francisco International Airport (SFO) received another option this week when Uber announced it had agreed with authorities on a plan to allow UberX and Lyft drivers to travel to and from the airport.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Oct 2014

Apple grapple: Congress kills FBI's Cupertino crypto kybosh plan

The FBI director James Comey's bid to have Congress kibosh default encryption appears to have publicly failed after senators said the proposal would be rejected.
Darren Pauli, 22 Oct 2014
2

Telstra ambit claim gets ACCC pushback

The stage is set for another drawn-out battle over wholesale telecommunication service pricing in Australia, with the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) indicating it's not going to rubber-stamp Telstra's request for a 7.2 per cent price hike.
Windows 10 start menu

Preview redux: Microsoft ships new Windows 10 build with 7,000 changes

Less than three weeks after it debuted the Windows 10 Technical Preview, Microsoft has shipped a comprehensive update to the pre-release OS that brings substantial changes, including some new features borrowed from Windows Phone.
Neil McAllister, 22 Oct 2014

Apple, GT in SECRET SAPPHIRE peaceable parting PACT

Apple and GT Advanced Technologies, the materials company that was once slated to provide scratchproof sapphire glass for iPhones and other Apple products, have agreed to an "amicable parting of the ways," according to sources with knowledge of GT's bankruptcy litigation.
Neil McAllister, 22 Oct 2014
EMC federation logo
3

EMC calls sudden event to reveal 'New business development'

EMC has given US media less than 24 hours notice of an event at which it will announce a “new business development”.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo
1

Innovation agenda's code for kids plan still a work in progress

The ”Coding across the curriculum” plan included in Australia's “Industry Innovation and Competitiveness Agenda” is yet to be developed, and is yet to be targeted at particular students or schools.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer
8

Marissa! Mayer! ends! 21! month! dry! spell! as! Yahoo! sales! grow!

Yahoo! is living in hope of a financial resurgence as the company logged a rare uptick in revenues.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Oct 2014
1

Chinese APT groups targeting Australian lawyers

Law firms are among Australian businesses being targeted by at least 13 Chinese advanced malware groups in a bid to steal intelligence from big business, says forensics bod and Mandiant man Mark Goudie.
Darren Pauli, 21 Oct 2014

Hey Apple, we're gonna tailor Swift as open source – indie devs throw down gauntlet

A group of independent developers have launched a project to develop a free, open source implementation of Apple's Swift programming language.
Neil McAllister, 21 Oct 2014

How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

Vid Google and A-list venture capitalists have given more than half a billion dollars to Magic Leap, a mysterious startup that aims to "make computing more natural".
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2014

ARM heads: Our cores still have legs ... as shares tumble amid 'peak smartphone' fears

British chip design firm ARM Holdings painted a rosy picture of its future growth on Tuesday, but it missed analysts' revenue expectations for the third quarter of its fiscal 2014, reigniting old fears that slowing smartphone growth will hurt the firm's long-term profitability – even though it's looking just fine in the near term.
Neil McAllister, 21 Oct 2014
Privacy image
3

Who will be Europe's privacy champion? Oh, go on then, Mr Deputy

After a false start last year, Europe has finally found someone to be its new data protection chief.
Jennifer Baker, 21 Oct 2014

How much will it take to make OpenStack better? Well, stack dev Mirantis just bagged $100m ...

Three-year-old OpenStack startup Mirantis has scored $100m in venture-capital funding, we're told.
Gavin Clarke, 21 Oct 2014
Daniel Craig in Skyfall

NSA approves Samsung Knox for use by TOP SECRET g-men

US spooks will be allowed to access sensitive government information on their KNOX-locked Samsung gadgets from now on.
Jennifer Baker, 21 Oct 2014
GCHQ Benhall doughnut aerial view

Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech

Sir Iain Lobban's final speech as GCHQ director omitted any mention of that man Edward Snowden, and unlike recent speeches by FBI and law enforcement officials on both side of the Atlantic, the spy boss had no critical words for Apple and Google's plans to roll out improved encryption on smartphones and computers.
John Leyden, 21 Oct 2014
The full Spanglish breakfast: mealy pudding, bacon, black pudding, sausages, fried egg, toast

Reg man has the cure for IBM storage: Just swallow 10 firms

Comment When you are walking on the Moon, far from home and Earth's tethering gravity then giant steps are what you take. When a product set becomes low or no-growth, then its tethering product gravity effect is weakened and you need to take giant steps to rebuild it ... which brings us to IBM.
Chris Mellor, 21 Oct 2014
Microsoft's Scott Guthrie presents the Cloud Platform System
9

Microsoft and Dell’s cloud in a box: Instant Azure for the data centre

Analysis Two words were missing from Microsoft’s cloudy event in San Francisco yesterday, where CEO Satya Nadella and Cloud and Enterprise VP Scott Guthrie presented an update to the company’s Azure and hybrid cloud strategy. Those two words were System Center.
Tim Anderson, 21 Oct 2014
Slide from Tim Cook's presentation at the Apple product roll-out event of October 22, 2013, indicating Apple's single-minded focus

Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Apple CEO Tim Cook has written to his employees to tell them that the past few quarters have been the most successful in the company's history.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2014
9

Migrate to the cloud and watch your business take flight

Think cloud computing is about getting rid of IT infrastructure to save money? Think again.
Tim Anderson, 21 Oct 2014
Andrew Warfield, Coho Data CTO

Reg Vulture grills Xen hypervisor daddy on latest storage upstart

Interview Like other storage startups, Coho Data has had to swim upstream* against prevailing storage orthodoxy. Its CTO and co-founder, Andrew Warfield, was one of the original authors of the Xen hypervisor, and we recently took the opportunity to ask him some questions about the firm's technology, product positioning and progress.
Chris Mellor, 21 Oct 2014
Artist's impression of a manned mission to Mars

MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Women, not men, should form the crew of the first personned mission to Mars, according to boffin and pretend NASA-naut Kate Greene.
Cloud security

Defence giant BAE coughs $230m for cloud heavy SilverSky

BAE Systems has bought cloud-based email and network security firm SilverSky for $232.5m, seemingly finding the US company's products and customer base irresistible.
John Leyden, 21 Oct 2014
Kingston SSDNow V310 960GB

You get what you pay for: Kingston's SSDNow V310 960GB whopper

Review Kingston’s SSD division have been a bit quiet lately but now they're back in the limelight with the V310 960GB. This is the latest model in the company’s SSDNow V300 series of drives aimed at the budget/entry level end of the market. At 960GB it’s the largest capacity Kingston SSD to date.
Simon Crisp, 21 Oct 2014
Houses of Parliament at night-time

Lords take revenge on REVENGE PORN publishers

The House of Lords has agreed new legislation making “revenge porn” a criminal offence in England and Wales, punishable by up to two years in prison.
Satya Nadella

Satya Nadella's $84.3m pay packet: Did he use the 'female superpower' to get it?

Satya Nadella famously told women to not bother asking for pay rises, which now looks a bit rich after Microsoft revealed his $83.4m pay packet.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2014
Fraud image
9

Hacked and ashamed? C'mon, Brits – report that cybercrime

Internet-enabled frauds reached £670m across the UK in the 12 months running up to the end of August, according to new figures from the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau.
John Leyden, 21 Oct 2014
OnePlus One Android smartphone

OnePlus One cut-price Android phone on sale to all... for 1 HOUR

Word-of-mouth sensation the OnePlus One smartphone finally goes on general sale to the public next week – six months after the phone was launched, and after a number of not-always successful promotional gimmicks. But only in 16 territories. And you only have an hour on Monday to check out.
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Oct 2014
Maginatics_MCSP_diagram
3

Will EMC swallow cloudy upstart? These analysts seem to think so

Any move by EMC to acquire Maginatics — and the latter’s software-only cloud storage gateway — would be a “very smart buy”, according to analyst Ben Woo at technical consultancy Neuralytics, following speculation the storage giant is closing in on the startup.
Chris Mellor, 21 Oct 2014
The SPB shirt in close-up
9

Luscious LOHAN t-shirts fly into Vulture Central

It's all go at Vulture Central today as skilled operatives prepare to ship our LOHAN Kickstarter reward t-shirts, which flew in the door late last week and will shortly be flying straight back out.
Lester Haines, 21 Oct 2014
flag.Germany

Steelie Neelie orders Germany to sort out its mobe charges – or EU will go FULL LEGAL

Steelie Neelie has warned Germany – for the fifth time – that if it doesn’t sort out its proposals on mobile termination rates, the Commission will take legal action.
Jennifer Baker, 21 Oct 2014
Screenshot of Microsoft promotional video touting Office 2013's cloud integration
3

Most cloud apps flout EU data protection rules – study

Three in four cloud services do not conform to the current EU Data Protection Directive, according to a new study.
John Leyden, 21 Oct 2014
2

Web developers: Special guests will give you a leg-up to Azure

Promo Microsoft’s weekly Get Started with Azure webinars will be hosting a number of special guests this month.
David Gordon, 21 Oct 2014
Airware video

ICO warns UK broadcasters over filming using drones

UK broadcasters have been warned that their use of unmanned drones for filming purposes must adhere to data protection laws.
OUT-LAW.COM, 21 Oct 2014
the Dr Chau Chak Wing building at UTS

That's PROFESSOR Woz to you from now on, young whippersnapper

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has joined the University of Technology, Sydney (UTS), as an adjunct professor.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014

Carders punch holes through Staples

US office giant Staples is investigating a possible credit and debit card breach of its Northeastern stores.
Darren Pauli, 21 Oct 2014
VMware Monster VM

VMware gives up on dual-persona smartphone concept

VMware has walked away from the idea of dual-persona smartphones, according to John Marshall, senior veep and general manager of the company's Airwatch division.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
1

Palo Alto Networks boxes spray firewall creds across the net

Misconfigured user identities for Palo Alto Networks firewalls are leaking onto the public web potentially exposing customer services including VPN and webmail, says security luminary HD Moore.
Darren Pauli, 21 Oct 2014

FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers

Fed-up FedEx customers in the UK were hit by an email storm yesterday, after a sad sap at the delivery company mistakenly hit the reply-all button on a daily alerts mailing list.
Team Register, 21 Oct 2014
4

Quantum key security steps outside the box

US researchers have come a step closer to turning quantum key distribution (QKD) into a “black box” that can be made provably secure regardless of whose boxes sit at each end of a link.

UNIX greybeards threaten Debian fork over systemd plan

A group of “Veteran Unix Admins” reckons too much input from GNOME devs is dumbing down Debian, and in response, is floating the idea of a fork.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
BlackBerry Passport
8

Who's that sniffing around BlackBerry? Oh, is it YOU again, Lenovo?

Lenovo may be close to a deal to acquire Canadian smartphone maker BlackBerry – for real, this time – according to multiple reports.
Neil McAllister, 21 Oct 2014
ESNet trans-Atlantic connection
6

ESNet's 100 Gbps Atlantic link almost ready to flow

The trans-Atlantic expansion of the ESNet academic network is nearing completion, with Fermilab announcing that testing and commissioning of the 100 Gbps-plus link is near.
Orionid meteor shower
7

Watch live! NASA video streams Orionid meteor shower – or go outside and look yourself

Vid If you're in a position to see the constellation of Orion tonight then it's time to enjoy the annual Orionid meteor shower – as the Earth slams into the debris left by Halley's Comet's 1986 visit at about 148,000 MPH.
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2014
1

Vote for us: We're slinging cash at supercomputers!

The government of the Australian State of Victoria has slung AU$6.65 million in the direction of the Victorian Life Sciences Computation Initiative (VLCSI), deeming the investment a vote-winner in upcoming elections .
iPad Psycho image

Post-PC era? PAH! Apple says Macs OUTSOLD iPads in Q4

Peak tablet In case you'd forgotten that Apple is making money hand over fist, the company announced on Monday yet another record financial quarter – thanks to its iPhones and Macs, but no thanks to its iPads.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Oct 2014
Apple Maiden data center Teradata
4

CAGE MATCH: Microsoft, Dell open co-located bit barns in Oz

Microsoft has let slip one of its least-well-guarded secrets: two new Azure bit barns will go live in Australia next week, as predicted by Vulture South.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
3

Cisco battles POODLE with a listicle and some twaddle

Cisco has joined the growing list of vendors scrambling a response to the POODLE vulnerability, with a number of systems confirmed vulnerable and more under investigation.
Protesters outside FCC headquarters

US Senate's net neutrality warrior to Comcast: Remind us how much you hate web fast lanes

US Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) has urged Comcast to publicly swear it will not pave fast lanes across the internet for wealthy websites. Leahy, writing in an open letter, also wants the American telco to use its market and lobbying muscle to support net neutrality.
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2014
Satya Nadella speaking at a Microsoft cloud event

Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'

"Microsoft loves Linux" is generally not something one expects to hear, but that was one of the messages that Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella delivered at a San Francisco media event touting Redmond's cloud offerings on Monday.
Neil McAllister, 20 Oct 2014
1

Voteware source code seeker found not to be vexatious

Michael Cordover, the Hobart lawyer who has been pressing the Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) to release the source code of its vote-counting software, has had a win courtesy of the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (OAIC).
eyeofSauron
2

Senators plot metadata pushback as requests keep expanding

On the heels of an Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) report that Australia's carriers provided more than 582,000 items of information to law enforcement under Australia's telecommunications interception regime in 2014, cross-bench senators have announced they will hold a briefing on the issue at the end of October.
Sydney harbour bridge poking out of the clouds

AARnet cranks up SDN sandpit for researchers

Australia's research network AARnet says it will push the on-switch on a software defined networking (SDN) test bed by the end of 2014.

Whisper tracks its users. So we tracked down its LA office. This is what happened next

Pics We were surprised as anyone when The Guardian revealed that, far from being “the safest place on the internet”, the anonymous messaging app Whisper was tracking the location of its users – even when they specifically denied the app access to their location.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Oct 2014
Australia.gov.au beta
5

Australia puts itself back into Beta

The Online Services Branch of Australia's Department of Finance, which oversees the nation's online efforts, has put the country in beta with the release of a new design for the national website at australia.gov.au.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Apple flings iOS 8.1 at world+dog: Our AMAZEBALLS 9-step installation guide

Apple has rolled out iOS 8.1, enabling features on the iPhone 6 and other new Apple devices.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Oct 2014

China is ALREADY spying on Apple iCloud users, claims watchdog

Last week Apple CEO Tim Cook was very happy that the iPhone 6 is at last going on sale in China. But it seems the Chinese government has its own plans for owners of the new device.
Iain Thomson, 20 Oct 2014
Lego Pirate Captain

YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results

Advert slinger Google has said it's started burying websites that help people illegally download copyrighted stuff.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Oct 2014

FYI: OS X Yosemite's Spotlight tells Apple EVERYTHING you're looking for

There has been growing disquiet over Apple's desktop search app Spotlight, which sends queries for things back to the company's servers to process.
John Leyden, 20 Oct 2014

ISPs handbagged: BLOCK knock-off sites, rules beak

The UK's biggest ISPs must block websites that flog knock-off goods, after a successful High Court case brought by luxury goods firm Richemonte, the first time trademark pirates have been blocked in the EU.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Oct 2014
Apple Watch

Microsoft to enter the STRUGGLE of the HUMAN WRIST

The battle for the future of the human wrist entered a new phase on Monday after it was claimed that tech goliath Microsoft is planning to release its own wearable computer in the coming weeks.
Team Register, 20 Oct 2014
Menage_a_TRois
2

Two-timing HP snubs Scality's RING, organises object threesome

It’s a laugh a minute in the object storage business. Not content with reselling Scality’s RING object storage software alongside its own StoreAll product, HP is now two-timing Scality by reselling Cleversafe’s object storage software as well. It’s best to be sure – to be sure.
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

IBM storage revenues sink: 'We are disappointed,' says CEO

IBM's storage revenues are continuing to slump, with the latest overall IBM results causing the abandonment of a long-term earnings/share goal.
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
3

China gets free pass from EU commish as telco probe dropped

The EU has decided to make friends with China despite earlier worries that it may have been giving an illegal boost to telco manufacturers.
Jennifer Baker, 20 Oct 2014

Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know

She’s a huge advocate of drones — quite a surprising position to take for a first class fighter pilot.
Photo of Red Hat CEO Jim Whitehurst at Red Hat Summit 2014
1

Ex-Microsoft man takes up arms for Red Hat's open-cloud crusade

“We want to be the undisputed leader in enterprise cloud,” Red Hat’s chief executive Jim Whitehurst said recently.
Gavin Clarke, 20 Oct 2014
Sony Xperia Z3 Android smartphone

Xperia Z3: Crikey, Sony – ANOTHER flagship phondleslab?

Review The decisions that must be going on at Sony’s mobile R&D division are certainly intriguing, if not baffling. Six months after it was launched, the Xperia Z2 has been replaced by the Z3 and barely nine months after it was launched, the Z1 Compact has been replaced by the Z3 Compact (there wasn’t a Z2 Compact, so don’t panic).
Alun Taylor, 20 Oct 2014

Routine WHAT NOW? Bank of England’s CHAPS payment system goes TITSUP

The CHAPS system used to handle most bank-to-bank transfers in the UK has collapsed, with all mortgage payments currently on pause.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Oct 2014

The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?

Battle of Ideas The idea that computer programming should be compulsory in schools is hugely popular with metropolitan media luvvies and quango-hoppers - but serious questions were raised by people who do it and teach it this weekend.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Oct 2014
1

EU digi tzar: 'I like the nickname STEELIE NEELIE. Yeah, why not'

Outgoing Brussels' unelected digi commissioner Neelie Kroes was in London this morning for her swansong in the UK's capital city, ahead of the vice-president's tenure ending later this month.
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Oct 2014

Violin: Don't weep for Tier 1 storage... it'll soon be flashtastic

Comment Flash will replace all enterprise tier 1 storage, and shared arrays will prevail over server-side SANs, while network latency remains a solvable computer science problem, argues Violin Memory CEO Kevin DeNuccio.
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
Image two from the patent document

Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO

Apple will open up its new bonk-to-pay system to its newest phones, the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, today, allowing fanbois to bonk shiny-shinys to purchase stuff online or at 220,000 stores.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Oct 2014
IT Crowd. Source: Channel 4 / 2entertain

Sophos to offshore American support operations

Exclusive Sophos plans to offshore support operations from the US to Canada and the Philippines as part of a wide-ranging restructuring of its support operations.
John Leyden, 20 Oct 2014
FabricCache from QLogic

QLogic: Healthy fibre boosted our bottom line

QLogic has reported second quarter revenues of $127.5m, up 7 per cent on the previous quarter, and 13 per cent on the year-ago period.
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
Malware
5

Twitter 'news' spreads faster than Ebola #FakeCures #Malware

Social media has become a conduit for the spread of fake cures and treatments for Ebola. As if that weren't bad enough, confusion about the epidemic is also being harnessed to push malware and other cybercrime scams, security watchers warn.
John Leyden, 20 Oct 2014
Sportsman with moderated rifle in snow. Pic: Juha Perovuo

Police stats inflate the number of guns actually stolen in Blighty

Analysis The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has claimed that more legally owned firearms were lost or stolen over the last few years than appears to be the case, according to an exclusive analysis by The Register.
Gareth Corfield, 20 Oct 2014
3

IBM: Please, take our chip unit. We'll give you $1.5 billion

Big Blue is going to become slightly less Big and Blue by paying Global Foundries $1.5bn to take on its chip-making business, according to multiple media reports.
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
Blood image

SDI Wars: EMC must FORGET ARRAYS, adapt or disappear

Sysadmin blog Register storage supremo Chris Mellor has recently been reporting on EMC's slow descent into corporate depression due to a combination of activist investors and recalcitrant internecine political strife.
Trevor Pott, 20 Oct 2014
The Tardis: Oooo-eee-ooooo © BBC 1963, Courtesy of BBC Worldwide

Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Doctor Who has been pressganged into the BBC’s “Make it Digital” push to help kids understand computers rather than just playing with them. Its answer: an educational video game.
Dominic Connor, 20 Oct 2014
Germany celebrates winning Fifa world cup 2014 in Brazil

You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data

Evidence-based decision making is so clearly sensible because the alternative — making random decisions based on no evidence — is so clearly ludicrous.
Mark Whitehorn, 20 Oct 2014
Brute Force
6

Visual voicemail hack makes your messages a snack

Ruxcon Sydney penetration tester Shubham 'Shubs' Shah has urged US and European researchers to probe their telco's voicemail security after he found accounts held by local telcos Vodafone and Optus were open to attack.
Darren Pauli, 20 Oct 2014
IE8 patch

Microsoft pulls another dodgy patch

Another Patch Update Tuesday, another red face for Microsoft, which has again been forced to pull a patch to prevent nasty side-effects.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014

'LulzSec leader Aush0k' found to be naughty boy not worthy of jail

The man that Australia's Federal Police once described as "a self-proclaimed leader of the group ‘Lulz Security’ (Lulzsec)" has been sentenced to 15 months of home detention, after a local magistrate decided he was just a very naughty boy.
Malware

Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz

Analyst firm Gartner has departed from its usual areas of expertise to issue advice on how to combat the Ebola virus.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014
Cellular antenna. Source: Vxla/Flickr

FCC, Google cast eye over millimetre wireless

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) is firing up an investigation into millimetre-wave frequency spectrum allocations, and Google has filed an application to fool around with the same band.
Hacked sarcasm
1

Oz privacy comish says breaches could double this year

The office of Australia's Federal Privacy Commissioner has received 60 voluntary data breach notifications in the six months since 12 March compared to 71 received in the 2014 financial year.
Darren Pauli, 20 Oct 2014
Sheep

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants

A flock of sheep that are about to meet their maker at the abattoir got high on cannabis plants worth £4,000, after the drugs were ditched in a Surrey field.
Team Register, 20 Oct 2014
ITU logo
3

ICT ministers mark out net-regulation patch ahead of ITU plenipot

The ITU has kicked off three weeks of wrangling over the future of the Internet – the 2014 Plenipotentiary – with a ministerial statement that's likely to spark concerns about the direction of the coming summit.

WAITER! There's a Flappy Bird in my Lollipop!

Google's practice of leaving Easter Eggs in Android appears to have continued, with a chap spotting a Flappy Bird clone in the new version 5.0, aka Lollipop, release.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014
1

FIRST standards to clean up messy CERTs

The global gathering of incident responders FIRST is spearheading a global standards effort to reform and unify the operations of government and large enterprise computer emergency response teams (CERTs).
Darren Pauli, 20 Oct 2014
NBN Co Customer premises equipment
9

NBN Co adds 'burbs to copper map, claims 'speed up' rollout

NBN Co has re-designated 140 suburbs from fibre-to-the-premises to fibre-to-the-node, a move it says will deliver high-speed connections to the target locations earlier than would otherwise have been a case.
8

Human spacecraft dodge COMET CHUNKS pelting off Mars

Comet Siding Spring has made a close pass by Mars, apparently without incident to the human-built machines in the neighbourhood.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014
1

Austrian telco trials G.fast as 'interim solution'

Telekom Austria is the latest outfit to trumpet the virtues of the yet-to-be-ratified G.fast standard, announcing that a deployment trial conducted with Alcatel-Lucent achieved speeds beyond 100 Mbps per household.
Apple Mac Pro
3

vSphere meets iCylinder in new VMware update

VMware has emitted a small update to ESXi that, among other things, adds support for the Mac Pro.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Oct 2014
NASA Sunjammer concept image

No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer

Reports are emerging that NASA has decided not to go ahead with next year's Sunjammer mission, which was to demonstrate the use of “solar sail” propulsion.

Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE

Primitive, lake-dwelling armoured fish "invented" internal fertilisation and copulation 385 million years ago in Scotland, a top palaeontologist has found.
Team Register, 19 Oct 2014
Picard Facepalm
9

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

Whisper's CEO Michael Heyward responded late on Saturday to claims that his company's anonymous messaging app was quietly tracking the location of its users.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
9

COMET barrels towards Mars, machines of humanity race for cover

Pic A cosmic rock that is older than mankind is expected to come within 87,000 miles (139,500 km) of Mars today.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car

Are you a gun owner? Let us in OR ELSE, say Blighty's top cops

Downrange The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has announced a legal tweak intended to allow police officers to turn up at the homes of gun owners, without warning, and demand to inspect guns stored on the premises. A new Crimestoppers hotline is also in operation to encourage people to dob in gun owners they suspect of wrongdoing. However, as even the police themselves admit, gun crime is falling.
Gareth Corfield, 19 Oct 2014

'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts

The Tory-led government is hoping to push through amendments to existing legislation in England and Wales to crack down on trolls who post malicious comments online.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
Walter Isaacson, The Innovators book cover

Steve Jobs' bio man tackles geeks who 'created the digital revolution'

Page File This is an enthralling but slightly flawed read written by Walter Isaacson – of Steve Jobs' authorised biography fame.
Chris Mellor, 19 Oct 2014
Space pizza

Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future

CoTW What's more important: Angry Birds or the Space Shuttle? According to one Register commentard, it's the former. No, really - and yes, it's time for Comment of the Week once again.
Gareth Corfield, 19 Oct 2014
David Cameron, UK prime minister

Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...

Worstall @ the Weekend As is ever the case, by the time squares have caught on to the value of whatever hipsters have been doing this week, the latter are off doing something else entirely. Much the same happens with economic fashions: it takes time for those not actually involved in the subject to grok to what the cool kids are saying and by the time they do actually grasp it it's all entirely out of date.
Tim Worstall, 19 Oct 2014

'George Orwell was an OPTIMIST. Show me a search history, I'll show you a perv or a crook'

QuoTW Google researchers came clean about a nasty little security vulnerability they discovered in SSL 3.0 this week, though not before El Reg first caught wind of it.
Jaguar XJS modified for fuel efficiency

Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

Crawling from the Wreckage Cars are mass-produced consumer products sold to users who mostly know very little about them. They are optimised to make a profit for the manufacturer, so low build cost is paramount for most manufacturers – which automatically excludes many design and engineering ideas that would raise efficiency. John Watkinson has been busy in the garage and applied those concepts to his own vehicle and found that they work.
John Watkinson, 19 Oct 2014
Concept of the Unimodal SkyTran system in use in Dubai.

'Hmm, why CAN'T I run a water pipe through that rack of media servers?'

eXpat Files Welcome once again to The eXpat files, our Vulture Weekend feature in which readers who've well and truly left the nest explain what it's like to ply their technological trade in another land.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Oct 2014