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The Week in Summary

BEST EVER broadband? Oh no you DIDN'T, Sky – ad watchdog

The telecoms giant formerly known as BSkyB has been ordered to remove a "best ever" broadband ad after rival BT claimed it was "misleading".
Kat Hall, 21 Nov 2014
Uber - living the dream
1

'How a censorious and moralistic blogger ruined my evening'

So you’re at an Uber-hosted dinner for New York media high-rollers, and the Uber exec - Emil Michael, senior VP for business - you’re talking to goes off on one, suggesting he could hire a million dollar team to dig up dirt on hostile journalists and their families. What do you do? This - apparently - depends on who you are.
John Lettice, 21 Nov 2014
BioWare – Dragon Age: Inquisition

Dragon Age Inquisition: Our chief weapons are...

Game Theory Well done Bioware, you've obviously resisted any Borg-like assimilation into EA and have listened closely to the criticisms of Dragon Age II and it’s claustrophobic narrative. Suddenly, I’m feeling good about starting my epic RPG battle with rebellious mages and old gods. I’m in this game for the long haul.
Lucy Orr, 21 Nov 2014
channel_teaser_exit

Computacenter UK boss Muller: Happy New Year, folks... I'm off

Six potential candidates are in the running to replace Computacenter’s outgoing UK managing director Neil Muller, who has resigned but remains on board until the end of January.
Paul Kunert, 21 Nov 2014
SolidFire_rack

SolidFire pipes Nitrogen OS 7 into all-flash hardware

SolidFire’s seventh-generation OS for its all-flash arrays introduces incremental improvements in multi-tenancy and data protection.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014

Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Comment Data analysts don’t need philosophers to help them with ethical decisions - the “science” can figure that out, a top boffin said this week.
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Nov 2014
IMTF flash
8

Intel offers ingenious piece of 10TB 3D NAND chippery

IMTF, Intel Micron Flash Technologies, a partnership between Intel and Micron, has a 3D MLC NAND technology, which will be used to build 10TB SSDs in two years.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014
Police outside 10 Downing Street. Credit: zongo

Home Office: It's an EMERGENCY! We need proper comms

The Home Office is seeking suppliers for its Emergency Services Network contract, part of moves to replace the incumbent gaffe-prone £2.9bn Airwave contract due to expire in 2016.
Kat Hall, 21 Nov 2014
HP cloud
1

HP, Symantec PAIR UP to fight off disaster cloud rivals

HP and Symantec are partnering to develop a cloud-based Disaster Recovery as a Service (DRaaS) offering using Symantec software and HP's Helion cloud.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014

FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

Data Journalism* The BMI-fuelled "obesity epidemic" bandwagon continues to rumble along, with the latest ridiculous report claiming that swingbellies are now twice as serious a menace to human prosperity as climate change.
Lewis Page, 21 Nov 2014
corset

George.Best walks into a sex.bar, spots a bearded dwarf sysadmin and thinks: Warcraft.cool

Nearly 10 million locked-away domain names will be set free and go on sale over the next two months.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Nov 2014
By Frank Wouters, licensed under CC 2.0

Hey, it's ... Gecko man, Gecko man, does almost whatever a GECKO can

Vid A graduate student at Stanford has successfully climbed a 3.7-metre glass wall using a pair of super-sticky gloves modeled on the feet of gecko lizards.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014

Useless computer engineer Barbie sacked after three-way fscking

Mattel has withdrawn from sale its Barbie book I Can Be A Computer Engineer after a storm of protest that the book was painfully sexist.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014
A map of Europe's solar potential
4

Young Germans: PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT a digital STARTUP

Most young Germans do NOT want to work for a digital start up.
Jennifer Baker, 21 Nov 2014
Paypal vulnerability

PayPal takes 18 months to patch critical remote code execution hole

Paypal has closed a remote code execution vulnerability in its service some 18 months after it was reported.
Darren Pauli, 21 Nov 2014
View of the LHC tunnel sector 3 to 4

Hunt for Higgs Boson and dark matter now starts ON YOUR SOFA

If you're not too busy this weekend, why not sit down on your sofa and try to find a Higgs Boson or dark matter?
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
The Internet from the IT Crowd

The IT Crowd's internet in a box gets $240k of crowdcash for a cause

Back in February we reported on a crew called Outernet and its plan to float a network of tiny satellites to deliver internet access around the world and in the process “bypass censorship, ensure privacy, and offer a universally-accessible information service at no cost to global citizens.”
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014

GCHQ and Cable and Wireless teamed as Masters of the Internet™

Cable and Wireless provided UK intelligence agency GCHQ with access to the internet connections of millions of global users, going as far as to tap India's second largest telco, Snowden documents reveal.
Darren Pauli, 21 Nov 2014
2

Where the HELL is that Comcast technician? Finally – an app for that

US cable giant Comcast is offering some subscribers an app that tracks the whereabouts of its technicians before they arrive for a service appointment. So if you're waiting around for ages wondering where he or she is, there'll be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Nov 2014
Android logo
1

Google releases 'Divide' to conquer mobile devices, messaging

Google has quietly released something called “Divide”, the fruits of an acquisition it made back in May.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
One Windows: Windows 10 will be delivered on multiple device types
5

Roll up, roll up, Microsoft's rolled up dozens of OS fixes

Microsoft's just released its November rollup of product fixes to address issues that go back to April 2014.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
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Citadel Trojan snooped on password managers to snatch victims' logins

Crooks have unsheathed a variant of the Citadel Trojan that targets password managers.
John Leyden, 21 Nov 2014
Assange

Assange™ slumps back on Ecuador's sofa after detention appeal binned

Ensconced WikiLeaker Julian Assange™ doesn't look to be leaving his hideout in Ecuador's London embassy anytime soon – a Swedish appeals court has rejected his request to set aside the detention order filed against him in that country.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014
Android 5.0 "Lollipop"

Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop

People with Nexus 7 tablets say the latest major Android update – codenamed Lollipop – has slowed their slabs to a standstill. Google said today it is investigating the matter.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Homer Simpson confronts rigged voting machine
7

E-vote won't happen for next Oz election

Australians won't have the chance to vote electronically any time soon, after a parliamentary committee put the idea on ice.

Google, Rockstar to bury zombie Nortel patent lawsuit

Google has reportedly laid to rest its long-running squabble with zombie patent supertroll Rockstar, although terms of the settlement were not disclosed.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014
4

First Congress, now top govt watchdog digs into ICANN's internet grab

It's not just US Senators digging into ICANN's takeover of the internet's control panel.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014

You'll go APE for our new Gorilla Glass 4, Corning reckons

Corning has unveiled the fourth iteration of its Gorilla Glass – and claims the new see-through substance is twice as damage resistant as its previous version. It's also much better at surviving drops onto hard surfaces, apparently.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
Uber logo
7

Uber bends over for internal privacy probe amid stalking claims

US Senator Al Franken (D-MN) has written to Uber demanding answers to questions about the car-hire upstart's interpretation of the word privacy.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Sean Connery in Dr. No

Privacy bods offer GOV SPY VICTIMS a FREE SPYWARE SNIFFER

Amnesty and Privacy International are offering a free-of-charge spyware detection tool designed to help journalists and human rights activists stay one step ahead of government surveillance.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
4

Euro digi chief 'H-dot' #twitterfail: 'My favourite app is the weather app'

It took Gunther H-dot Oettinger more than a month to follow his boss Andrus Ansip’s lead and take part in a live Twitter chat, so you might think he would prepare well and walk it. Well, you'd be wrong.
Jennifer Baker, 20 Nov 2014

Apple bitchslaps iPhone rival Xiaomi: World No 1? That's BIG TALK

Apple has declared war on its Chinese smartphone rival Xiaomi after execs from the two firms locked horns during a public event.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Nov 2014
Fraud image

Comet’s might-have-been saviour 'not paying biz debts'

Clive Coombes, the man who tried and failed to save the Comet brand, appears to be struggling to keep his existing business Lewisons Wholesale (LS) afloat, with supplier debts now mounting.
Paul Kunert, 20 Nov 2014
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/
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Gartner mages: And the Enterprise Archiving Magic Quadrant top spot goes to...

There's a new magic quadrant out. Gartner has awarded top position in enterprise archiving to – wait for it – HP, with Symantec second. Next up are three firms few have heard and at sixth spot is CommVault, rounding out the leaders' box.
Chris Mellor, 20 Nov 2014

Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Apple’s "free" apps are "free" no more, thanks to the EU. Instead of clicking a button labelled with the word, fanbois must now select a button marked “get”.
Jennifer Baker, 20 Nov 2014
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Pure: We've created the Everlasting Gobstopper of Storage – 'Forever Flash'

In recent months, as ever, we've seen a lot of "refreshments" on the storage scene. Violin Memory has refreshed its hardware and software. SolidFire and EMC XtremIO have refreshed their software. NetApp has introduced FlashRay, and Tegile and Skyera have introduced new all-flash arrays. And Pure Storage? It seems it has refreshed a support programme.
Chris Mellor, 20 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked

Downloading mobile apps from non-official sources has become a lot more dangerous over the last year, with apps now needing more built-in protection, according to a new report.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies

After USA FREEDOM Act's failure, what's next for mass surveillance?

Analysis This week the US Senate failed to get the required 60 votes to beat a Republican filibuster on the USA FREEDOM Act, which would have instituted mild controls on the bulk collection of communications data on American citizens.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014

Webcast: Managing identity to drive business

Register now to watch our webcast about why digital interaction with customers needs large-scale identity management and how it’s done.
David Gordon, 20 Nov 2014
Cern

CERN IT boss: What we do is not really that special

When the head of infrastructure services at CERN tells you that he has come to the conclusion that there’s nothing intrinsically “special” about the systems at the multi-billion atom-smasher, you naturally want to check you’ve heard correctly.
Joe Fay, 20 Nov 2014
4

Huawei: KRYDER STORAGE CRISIS is REAL and 'we’re working on it'

Huawei’s chief storage boffin says the company has looked at the looming crisis in storage technology with concern.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Nov 2014
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A life of cybercrime, a caipirinha and a tan: Fraudsters love a Brazilian

Brazil is the only market that offers training services for cybercriminal wannabes, making it possible to start a new career in cybercrime for just $500.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon

Blighty's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission raises £200k

The Blighty-backed attempt to crowdfund a mission to the Moon has got off to a good start, raising over a third of its £600,000 goal in just three days.
NUtanix logoi

Non-profit or charity? Win a data centre makeover from Nutanix

Promo Nutanix, possibly the world’s biggest startup, is offering $500,000 in data centre infrastructure to a non-profit or charity.
David Gordon, 20 Nov 2014
Photo by Heather Sorenson / sxc.hu

Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Too many people are leaving their internet-connected webcams wide open to silent perverts, the UK's privacy watchdog has warned.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Bus

All ABOARD! Furious Facebook bus drivers join Teamsters union

Facebook's shuttle bus drivers have voted to join the Teamsters union – as anger grows over the pay disparity between moneybags engineers and cash-strapped service workers.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Nov 2014
francis_maude_flames_evil

You think the CLOUD's insecure? It's BETTER than UK.GOV's DATA CENTRES

Doing business in the cloud is more secure than owning your own data centre, Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude has claimed.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
axe_channel_teaser

Oracle to axe over 450 jobs in Euro support centres – sources

Exclusive Oracle is rumoured to be closing all its European support centres with less than 100 staff - a move that could affect hundreds of employees.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
 Samsung Galaxy Note 4

Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled

Review My, but how time flies. It seems like only yesterday when The Reg called up and said: “Al, we’ve got this huge phone with a stylus from Samsung called the Galaxy Note. Fancy giving it a once over?” I don’t recall being that enthusiastic.
Alun Taylor, 20 Nov 2014

Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has identified "technical and security vulnerabilities" in its £284.9m central benefits payment system - responsible for underpinning the much-maligned Universal Credit programme and processing 13 million payments each week, The Register can reveal.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014

Giving mobile users the applications they want is child's play

Working on the move has become most people's normal way of operating. We are used to having our world in our pocket and being able to read and write emails, produce simple documents and generally stay in the corporate loop whether we are in the office, in the pub, on a train or (sadly) sitting on a beach trying to be on holiday.
Dave Cartwright, 20 Nov 2014

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

RBS, Natwest and Ulster Bank have today been hit with a £56m fine from regulators for their IT meltdowns in 2012.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
Jennifer Pahlka

What should America turn to for web advice? That's right: GOV.UK – says ex-Obama IT guru

Analysis It's not the most obvious place you would expect a Silicon Valley-ite to point to as the future of the America, but Jennifer Pahlka is a big fan of the UK government's website.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014
Sign outside the National Security Agency HQ

Yet more NSA officials whisper of an internal revolt over US spying. And yet it still goes on

The NSA's snooping programs aren't just controversial to the public, it seems: we're reminded other staff at the US agency also objected to prying into Americans' phone records.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Kill Captchas
1

CAPTCHA rapture as 'thousands' affected by seven year-old bug

A reflected cross site scripting flaw patched overnight may affect millions of websites due to a seven-year-old flaw in a jQuery validation plugin demo script used for CAPTCHA, Dutch penetration tester Sijmen Ruwhof says.
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014

Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP

The post via Tor (right) and what Aussies saw. © The Register
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014
blackmail

Hackers seize Detroit's database, demand $800k. Motor City shrugs: OK, take it

Hackers seized a database from the City of Detroit earlier this year before unsuccessfully demanding $800,000 in Bitcoin.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Satellite

Slapnav: Looking for KINKY dark matter? Switch on the GPS!

Although our ancestors would have been amazed by GPS technology for the current generation it's pretty old hat. Nevertheless, scientists have come up with a new idea for using the network of positioning satellites that encircle our globe – the quest to find dark matter.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
Galaxy simulation

Astro-boffins start opening universe simulation data

The Illustris Project, a universe-scale simulation created in 2013 at MIT and unveiled in May 2014, is now offering its first data products as downloads for researchers.
Bittorrent Sync 2.0 screenshot

Bittorrent wants to sink Dropbox with Sync 2.0

Bittorrent is taking Sync out of beta with an alpha version of Sync 2.0.
The particle tube deconstructed at LHC

CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

Analysis of Large Hadron Collider data collected in 2011 and 2012 has turned up two new subatomic particles: a couple of baryons that are six times as massive as a proton.
Leaf
5

Greening the copper with NFV, lower power optics from GreenTouch

The GreenTouch group, which researches less power-hungry networking technologies, is pitching an NFV-style home gateway architecture as one way to curb broadband networks' appetite for electrons.
cloud

Extreme adds switches and partners

Extreme Networks has launched a quartet of switches and a management appliance, in what it says is an expansion of its software defined network (SDN) strategy.

GOTCHA: Google caught STRIPPING SSL from BT Wi-Fi users' searches

Google's "encryption everywhere" claim has been undermined by Mountain View stripping secure search functions for BT WiFi subscribers piggy-backing off wireless connections, sysadmin Alex Forbes has found.
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014
Mozilla Firefox

Bada-Bing! Mozilla flips Firefox to YAHOO! for search

Mozilla will make Yahoo! the default search engine for Firefox in the US, ending its decade-long pact with Google. The new deal affects the open-source browser on the desktop and on mobile devices.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014

'Internet Freedom Panel' to keep web overlord ICANN out of Russian hands – new proposal

A seemingly independent panel with authority over domain name system overseer ICANN has been proposed in a new US law bill.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014
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Smartphone chip champ Qualcomm says it's ARMed for server wars

Mobile chip heavyweight Qualcomm has confirmed that it plans to make a run at the server market, although details remain scant.
Neil McAllister, 19 Nov 2014
Beats Music The Sentence

Apple Fanboi? Stand by to get Beats Music LIKE IT OR NOT

Apple will attempt to install a Beats Music app in all recent iThings in early 2015, it's claimed.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Nov 2014
iVEC's Magnus supercomputer

IVEC's Magnus crashes Top 50

The Pawsey Supercomputing Centre is all smiles after the SC14 announcement that its upgraded Magnus iron has landed in the world's top fifty supercomputers.

Fake antivirus scams: It's a $120m business – and alleged ringleaders have just been frozen

Two groups of companies accused of raking in $120m from fake antivirus scams have been put on ice by a court.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Nov 2014
Glamor shot of proposed Jolla Tablet

Sailfish OS tablet is GO: Fans stuff cash into Jolla's cap in hand

Upstart gadget maker Jolla announced plans to produce a tablet via a crowdfunding campaign on Wednesday – and within mere hours, its fans had pledged well over the asked-for amount.
Neil McAllister, 19 Nov 2014
Primary_Data_GUI
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Data-center upstart grabs Wozniak, jumps into virtual storage fight

A fresh startup called Primary Data reckons it will reinvent "file virtualization" for software-defined data centers – and thus take on EMC's ViPR and Quantum's StorNext.
Chris Mellor, 19 Nov 2014
Apple email attachment

Official: European members prefer to fondle Apple iPads

The European Parliament’s IT department is attempting to drag MEPs kicking and screaming into the digital age… by letting them play with the latest tablets.
Jennifer Baker, 19 Nov 2014
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Seagate connects Hadoop and Lustre in an open sourcery ceremony

Seagate has written a Hadoop connector for Lustre, meaning Hadoop-using systems can now fetch data from a Lustre parallel file system array, as part of a small contribution by the US data storage company to an open source world.
Chris Mellor, 19 Nov 2014
Maurice Moss, IT Crowd

Countdown contestant pays homage to IT Crowd's Moss

In one of the world’s greatest self-referential in-jokes, Countdown contestant Danny Davies has worn a T-shirt commemorating the appearance of Maurice Moss on Countdown in an episode of The IT Crowd.

Ofcom snatches 700MHz off digital telly, hands it to mobile data providers

Ofcom is planning to nick some of the airwaves currently used by digital terrestrial telly and hand them over for the nation's mobile broadband use.
Maxta Index Logo

All-singing-all-dancing hyperconverged Maxta gets Cisco's blessing

Maxta has announced the launch of its MxSP, the first Cisco-certified hyper-converged system to run on UCS C-Series servers and support metro-distance clusters.
Chris Mellor, 19 Nov 2014

Bang! You're dead. Who gets your email, iTunes and Facebook?

Two things in life are certain: death and taxes. Amazon and other international corporations have found ways* around the latter, but no one can avoid the former.
Stuart Burns, 19 Nov 2014
big droplets falling from rain cloud

Microsoft's Azure goes TITSUP PLANET-WIDE AGAIN in cloud FAIL

Microsoft suffered a major outage on its cloud service Azure overnight.
Team Register, 19 Nov 2014

Speaking in Tech: Go on, call us LEGACY! We solved your little startup problems 15 YEARS ago

Podcast Podcast This week, Speaking in Tech regulars Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela have fled for Dell World, which leaves Greg Knieriemen running the show. Greg is holed up in Paris with special guests Mark Twomey, aka Storagezilla, technical director at EMC, and Francois Zimmerman, HDS chief technologist in EMEA as the conversation …
Team Register, 19 Nov 2014

What a Mesa: Apple vows to re-use titsup GT sapphire glass plant

Apple has vowed to protect jobs in Mesa, Arizona, and told city leaders it will not walk away from its stricken sapphire glass factory.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Nov 2014
Android logo

'Most advanced mobile botnet EVER' is coming for your OFFICE Androids

A newly discovered variant of NotCompatible is establishing what has been called the most advanced mobile botnet yet created.
John Leyden, 19 Nov 2014
World's largest billboard on New York's Times Square

Google bags OBSCENELY LARGE Times Square ad space for New Year's

Google is the first customer to book advertising space on a gigantic new billboard on Times Square, which has a going rate of more than $2.5m for four weeks.
Office 365 video portal

Microsoft adds video offering to Office 365. Oh NOES, you'll need Adobe Flash

Microsoft has added a video portal to Office 365, enabling users to upload and share videos. The service will be in preview soon, and available to all customers with the right kind of subscription in early 2015.
Tim Anderson, 19 Nov 2014
Smartphones

Go on, buy your workers a smartphone. You know it makes sense

Choose your own device (CYOD), the latest incarnation of mobility device management, is being promoted as a smarter alternative to BYOD (bring your own device), with more benefits for everybody and fewer pitfalls.
Dave Wilby, 19 Nov 2014
Joseph Reger, Fujitsu cto, with his 3D-printed doppelganger

Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years

Fujitsu’s CTO slapped down the net neutrality dogmatists yesterday, saying the flood of data due to the emergence of the internet of things meant society would force a new pricing model.
Joe Fay, 19 Nov 2014
Night scene of bank station in central london

London police chief: City bankers, prepare for a terrorist cyber attack. Again

+Comment Western financial institutions should prepare themselves for cyber attacks from Islamic militants, the head of the City of London police warns.
John Leyden, 19 Nov 2014
CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon

HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rocking boffin Brian Cox

A UK nonprofit, funded via Kickstarter – and endorsed by famous rockstar TV boffin Brian Cox – aims to land a robot probe (a probot, as some call them) on the Moon: one with an unusual purpose.
Zuckerberg topless
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GROUP HUG, shouts Facebook. C'mere and let us squeeze you more

Facebook's strategy of breaking out its features into separate apps continued on Tuesday – with the launch of a Groups application for iOS and Android.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Nov 2014
creative commons - must credit clarence: *www.sxc.hu/profile/clarence
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HDS: Storage? Pah! We're working on a SMART CITY OPERATING SYSTEM

Hitachi Data Systems (HDS) is working on two projects that will scale its compute and storage technologies to serve Internet of Things deployments in smart cities.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Nov 2014
1

DRaaS-tic action: Trust the cloud to save your data from disaster

In modern computing, disaster recovery can be thought of in the same way as insurance: nobody really wants to pay for it, the options are complicated and seemingly designed to swindle you, but it is irrational (and often illegal) to operate without it.
Trevor Pott, 19 Nov 2014
Al Pacino as Scarface

Call the Commish! Ireland dragged into Microsoft dispute over alleged drug traffic data

Last Friday, Apple, Oracle, IBM, HP and other cloud bigwigs (represented by DigitalEurope) begged the EU for help in preventing the US seizing emails stored by Microsoft in Ireland. Now Ireland itself has done the same.
Jennifer Baker, 19 Nov 2014
Shop Direct Skyways House entrance

The Big Data wrangling CIO you've probably never heard of: But his kit probably knows YOU

Shop Direct is a £1.7bn group that owns some of the best-known brands in retail - firms that pioneered what the cutting edge of shopping.
Gavin Clarke, 19 Nov 2014
5

Mozilla SELLS FIREFOX MOBILES ... in Greece

Phones based on the Mozilla Firefox platform have been targeted at far flung places such as Bangladesh and Brazil, but now a major European network has them for sale.
Simon Rockman, 19 Nov 2014
School of Rock
3

Hello, Mr Chips(et): Capita grabs bigger slice of UK IT education market

Capita gobbled up a larger piece of the UK's £800m education IT spending market in 2013, with sales up 9 per cent to £234m.
Kat Hall, 19 Nov 2014

YOU are the threat: True confessions of real-life sysadmins

Some sysadmins will go to extremes to secure a network, viewing it (wrongly) as their property.
Stuart Burns, 19 Nov 2014
4

New Euro digi tsar 'H-dot' Oettinger to host sort-of-live Twitter chat

In October, Andrus Ansip, Europe’s new super-commissioner for all things digital, conducted a Twitter chat to present his ideas on the future of the EU’s digital economy to the wider public. Now, more than a month later, Europe’s new digi tsar, Gunther H-dot Oettinger is to follow suit.
Jennifer Baker, 19 Nov 2014
Fuel Cell Car

Toyota to launch hydrogen (ie, NATURAL GAS) powered fuel cell hybrid

Toyota will launch its all-new Mirai hydrogen fuel cell vehicle in Japan on 15 December before introducing it in the UK and other selected European markets in September 2015, with that date dictated by getting a refuelling infrastructure rolled out.
Simon Rockman, 19 Nov 2014

'Cleantech' a dirty word for VCs? RUBBISH!

Worstall on Wednesday Over at Bloomberg there's a piece bemoaning the fact that the big Venture Capital companies aren't investing in "cleantech".
Tim Worstall, 19 Nov 2014
DDoS image
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Asian mobiles the DDOS threat of 2015, security mob says

Vietnam, India and Indonesia will be the distributed denial of service volcanoes of next year due to the profieration of pwned mobiles, according to DDoS security bod Shawn Marck.
Darren Pauli, 19 Nov 2014
Uncov chronicles the failure of Web 2.0

Blackpool hotel 'fines' couple £100 for crap TripAdvisor review

A British couple is fuming after a hotel reportedly charged them an extra £100 for leaving a damning TripAdvisor review.
Iain Thomson, 19 Nov 2014

GiffGaff spanked for clumsy attempt at mum-and-dad-humping humour

Vid GiffGaff has been admonished by the UK's advertising watchdog, after a publicity stunt backfired for being too fruity.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Nov 2014

Apple slapped in YET ANOTHER patent battle

Apple has to fork out US$23.6 million to a former pager company after a jury decision in the US District Court, Eastern Texas.
spark fun electronics rotary dial mobile phone
4

Lame phone dodgers fleece finance's foolish and fat fingered

Scammers are attempting to fleece a hundred top US financial companies by registering phone numbers close to those in use by the firms, engineer Scott Strong says.
Darren Pauli, 19 Nov 2014

Quebec's latest bid to break away from Canada HALTED by a single dot

It was not the news the company behind the new dot-quebec domains wanted to hear.
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Nov 2014
hands waving dollar bills in the air
1

Hewlett Foundation lays out MEELLIONS on security

The Hewlett Foundation has found US$45m in its other jacket, and has anointed three lucky US universities to spend on security research.
cloud
2

VMware testing servers-by-the-minute cloud

Journalists who cover cloud have a recurring nightmare: leaving the “l” out of “public cloud” and copping a caning in the comments for their somewhat Freudian slip.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Nov 2014
Chameleon

Ceph-starter Suse to enter software-defined storage market

Linux vendor Suse has kicked off this year's SuseCon in Orlando, Florida by announcing that it's getting into the software-defined storage business, starting early next year.
Neil McAllister, 19 Nov 2014
Micro SIM Card
5

SMS pwnage on MEELLIONS of flawed SIM cards, popular 4G modems

A Russian research team has found vulnerabilities in millions of the world's SIM cards, and separate flaws in common 4G modem platforms. Together, the bugs could allow attackers to send crafted SMS text messages to gain access to critical systems and install malware on connected computers.
Darren Pauli, 19 Nov 2014
Cat yawning
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Netflix tags March 2015 for ANZ launch

Netflix has finally unbagged the cat, giving a date for its long-mooted, sometimes-denied Australia and New Zealand launch: March 2015.

NSA mass spying reform KILLED by US Senators

A law bill to reform some of the NSA's mass surveillance of innocent Americans died in the US Senate this evening.
Iain Thomson, 19 Nov 2014
iPad Psycho image

HORROR! Imagine if anyone could find out EVERYTHING you EVER tweeted

Remember those dreadful, toe-curling, never-to-be-referred-to-again tweets you tweeted years back? The ones that, thank everything that's good and kind in the universe, eventually vanished from human knowledge? Twitter remembers. Now everyone else will too.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Nov 2014
Apple Watch
6

Get your CLOCK out, you coders: Apple emits Watch dev kit

Apple hasn't yet even set a date for the sale of its smart watch: but it's keen to have a full suite of apps ready at the launch – and it would like it if other people developed these at their own expense. hence it has put out an SDK.
Iain Thomson, 19 Nov 2014

Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

Computer scientists at the University of New South Wales are teaching robots to rip apart computers for recycling.

Patch NOW! Microsoft slings emergency bug fix at Windows admins

Microsoft has released a security patch to squash a bug in Windows that hackers are exploiting to compromise whole networks of computers.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Nov 2014
BrickArms' Toy taliban figure

HALF A BILLION TERRORISTS: WhatsApp encrypts ALL its worldwide jabber

WhatsApp has announced that it will encrypt all its 600m users' text messages by default, which is a serious stride forward for privacy - and one which will no doubt be criticised by spooks and police worldwide.
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Nov 2014
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Microsoft: Your Linux Docker containers are now OURS to command

Microsoft has taken its first baby steps toward integrating Windows with the Docker application containerization tech that's caught fire in the Linux world, with the release of Docker client software that runs on Windows desktops.
Neil McAllister, 18 Nov 2014
Spitting Image God

LIFE, JIM? Comet probot lander found 'ORGANICS' on far-off iceball

Scientists at the ESA claim that "organic" molecules - the so-called building blocks of life itself - have been found on the icy surface of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko by the sadly now defunct Philae lander probot.
Iain Thomson, 18 Nov 2014
Fight sticker

Uber exec wanted to sic private dicks on critics ... Hey, Emil Michael, COME AT US, bro

Car hire upstart Uber has apologized after a top exec suggested hiring investigators to expose the personal lives of its critics.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Nov 2014
MSA 1040
4

It'll all end in tiers: HP tosses small biz another 3PAR-flavored bone

HP is adding some 3PAR-class storage services to its MSA entry-level arrays: automated data tiering, virtualisation and thin provisioning, and more, all via a firmware update. This continues a steady upgrading of MSA functionality.
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014

Mozilla, EFF, Cisco back free-as-in-FREE-BEER SSL cert authority

A new certificate authority – backed by big names on the internet including Mozilla, Cisco and Akamai – plans to offer SSL certs at no charge starting next year. The move will make it even more easier for people to run encrypted, secure HTTPS websites.
John Leyden, 18 Nov 2014
Love
2

EMC CEO Joe Tucci tries to win hearts and minds from VC backers

Analysis EMC is going to ask its shareholders whom they support: CEO Joe Tucci or hedge fund exec Paul Singer?
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014
Ray Harryhausen's skeleton army from "Jason and the Argonauts"
1

Fujitsu boss sets CDOs against CIOs at annual do

Traditional IT and CIOs are often seen as a corporate bottleneck, Duncan Tait, the European boss of Fujitsu warned Tuesday, as chief digital officers increasingly take the reins.
Joe Fay, 18 Nov 2014
ClusterStor 1500

Seagate and SGI buddy up to flog HPC bigness to big business

Seagate has signed up SGI to resell its ClusterStor supercomputing and big data arrays.
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014
Microsoft OneDrive

That dreaded syncing feeling: Will Microsoft EVER fix OneDrive?

Microsoft and synchronisation go back a long way. Remember Briefcase, a feature of Windows 95 and later, which syncs files between two folders, one of which can be on a removable drive or on the network?
Tim Anderson, 18 Nov 2014
An Olympic-sized swimming pool
5

SAN gang at Nimble jump in Fibre Channel pool, but how big will the splash be?

Becoming a little nimbler in the SAN market, Nimble Storage is adding Fibre Channel support to its CS-series hybrid flash/disk arrays.
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014
Xeon E7 die
2

HPC bods boogie to 68 new Top500 hits at New Orleans show

SC14 The SC14 supercomputer show at New Orleans saw Intel getting its Xeon, Phi and Lustre hooks into many suppliers, IBM pushing its POWER credentials and ARM punching in there too.
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014
Airware video

ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

A House of Lords committee has been told that while civilians are “undoubtedly” using drones to get up to no good, it was pretty difficult to do anything about it.
Jade Goody and pals

Anonymous ‪hacks the Ku Klux Klan after Ferguson‬ threats

Hactivist collective Anonymous has taken out the websites and Twitter accounts of white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan following threats by a local chapter of the Klan against protestors in ‪Ferguson, Missouri.
John Leyden, 18 Nov 2014

Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

American scientists have identified a mysterious seagoing virus which has caused millions of suffering starfish to "melt" into slime, strewing awful fluids all over the place.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Nov 2014
Nokia_atom_powered_android_tablet

Nokia's N1 fondleslab's HIDDEN BRILLIANCE: The 'Z Launcher'

The Nokia Z launcher is what makes its new N1 tablet special.
Simon Rockman, 18 Nov 2014

Syscap waves £50 million in CASH at UK tech channel

Finance provider Syscap has set its sights on wooing back the channel by waving at least £50m in cash at partners seeking funding.
Kat Hall, 18 Nov 2014
ETERNUS_CD10000
5

Multi-petabyte open sorcery: Spell-binding storage

Mixing petabytes of data and open-source storage used to be the realm of cash-strapped academic boffins who didn’t mind mucking in with software wizardry.
Chris Mellor, 18 Nov 2014
Motorola Moto X Android smartphone

PHONDLESLAB-ULOUS: Motorola Moto X Android phablet

Review So, you want a Nexus 6. And why not? It’s a cracking bit of kit. But to my mind it’s a bit big and a bit expensive. And as for personalisation, forget it. Perhaps then Motorola can tempt you with the 6’s smaller, cheaper and altogether more modifiable little brother, the new Moto X?
Alun Taylor, 18 Nov 2014

Northern Ireland website leaves front door open, spills users' data

The creators of this Irish website may be fluent in the language of the Emerald Isle, but they are distinctly unversed in computer security.
Jennifer Baker, 18 Nov 2014
FAIL

Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

UK communications watchdog Ofcom has opened an investigation into Premier League football TV rights, following a complaint from Virgin Media.
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Nov 2014

Vulture 2 spaceplane tumbles onto BBC World Service

We invite Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans to stick the kettle on, make a nice cuppa and enjoy a recent interview myself and Vulture 2 rocket motor wrangler Paul "Lord Shax" Shackleton did with Gareth Mitchell for the BBC World Service's Click.
Lester Haines, 18 Nov 2014
TechDemoSat-1 shot of planet Earth

MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

A Russian spacecraft – conceivably some kind of satellite-nobbling or -gobbling orbital weapons platform – is circling Earth, and Russia isn't saying anything about it.

YIKES: Combination of LIVING WOMAN and MACHINE sighted in NYC

Intel has announced the release of a new smartwatch slash bracelet thing-a-ma-jig aimed at "fashion forward women".
Team Register, 18 Nov 2014
2001: A Space Odyssey
2

Can’t be TRUSTe-d? Online privacy firm coughs $200k to settle 'deception' charges

TRUSTe, which issues the privacy seals displayed on thousands of websites, has paid a settlement over charges it deceived consumers through its Privacy Seal Program.
John Leyden, 18 Nov 2014

NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

Nokia is back in consumer electronics with an iPad rival, the new N1 tablet, just six months after Microsoft snorked up its phone division. The Finnish firm has said that many more devices will follow.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Nov 2014
Objection!
9

China BLOCKS Verizon's EdgeCast before internet meeting

Verizon's recently acquired content delivery network EdgeCast has been blocked in China the day before the country hosts the World Internet Conference.
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Nov 2014
smartphones

So you want to introduce a BYOD plan. Where do you start?

Like it or not, BYOD (bring your own device) is here to stay. Being able to get your emails on your personal iPad and such is all very well but it comes with both a cost and a risk.
Dave Burn, 18 Nov 2014
4

Keen to get CRITICAL PAYMENT systems up QUICKLY after HACK?

Restoring payment systems after disruptive cyber attacks could involve compromising analysis of incidents, says report
OUT-LAW.COM, 18 Nov 2014
QL launch: Micro Men style

UK urged to stop bigging up startups, feed 'growing' firms

The UK must stop obsessing over startups and instead channel its resources into growing companies, a wide-ranging report has said.
Kat Hall, 18 Nov 2014
Dougevault image

Gee THANKS: Cryptoscum offer a free decrypt in latest ransomware racket

Ransomware thieves are taking a leaf from the greasy salesperson's handbook and offering customers victims a free decryption of a file of their choosing, malware researcher Tyler Moffitt says.
Darren Pauli, 18 Nov 2014
Apple iPhone 4S

Bug fixes! Get your APPLE BUG FIXES! iOS and OS X updates right here!

Apple is swatting at bugs with updates to its OS X Yosemite and iOS 8 platforms.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Nov 2014
Bittorrent logo detail

Cries of spies as audit group finds possible 'backdoor' in Bittorrent Sync

Updated: BitTorrent responds Popular file sharing platform BitTorrent Sync is 'probably' leaking hashes to its website and access to shared data, a group audit has found.
Darren Pauli, 18 Nov 2014

Sealed with a kiss: Er, 80 MILLION BACTERIA

Boffins have estimated that a sexy snog could transfer as many as 80 million bacteria every time a couple locks lips.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Nov 2014
NASA Nature Run screen grab

NASA launches new climate model at SC14

After 75 days running on the 43,000-core, 1.21 petaflop Discover supercomputer cluster at the Goddard Centre for Climate Simulation, producing 4 PB of data, NASA has put together a global model showing how atmospheric carbon dioxide – CO2 – gets distributed in air currents around the world.

Deloitte builds sofa-and-slippers startup fund ... where's the fun in that?

Deloitte has taken a leap into the fast-moving, fail-often world of startup culture by developing a risk-free version of Silicon Valley. A charming anti-formula to the Bay Area's post-revenue darlings.
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Nov 2014
The standard USB 3 connector

USB coding anarchy: Consider all sticks licked

Thumb drives are so inconsistently manufactured it is all but impossible to know if any unit could be reprogrammed to own computers, researcher Karsten Nohl says.
Darren Pauli, 18 Nov 2014
Bitcoins

Feds to auction off second tranche of Silk Road Bitcoins worth $19 MEEELLION

The US Marshals Service (USMS) is looking forward to another funding bonanza after holding another auction of Bitcoins seized from the Silk Road online bazaar that was allegedly run by Ross Ulbricht under the handle the Dread Pirate Roberts.
Iain Thomson, 18 Nov 2014
The concrete blocks available for our rocket motor testing

'Pirate block' proposal back on Oz agenda

Australia's government is once again rumoured to favour the idea of ordering ISPs to block Websites accused of hosting copyright-infringing content, or linking to it.

Intel's LAME DUCK mobile chips gobbled by CASH COW

Intel will combine its money-printing PC and loss-making mobile processor groups. Chipzilla is under mounting pressure from shareholders to deliver results in the mobile computing market, where the biz is a minnow compared to Brit rival ARM.
Neil McAllister, 18 Nov 2014
Nvidia
4

Nvidia doubles Tesla grunt at SC14

Nvidia's SC14 eye-catcher is the next increment in its HPC GPU accelerator, the Tesla K80.
7

The optic NERVE of it: Intel declares WAR on InfiniBand

It's no surprise when Intel announces a new processor architecture – that's its main game, after all. However, along with the Knight's Bridge chips released at SC'14, the company seems to have declared war on the HPC mainstream, announcing an optical comms architecture designed to compete with InfiniBand.

Big shadowy orgs should stop scooping up everyone's personal info – say Google, Facebook

A pressure group backed by some of the largest internet companies has urged the US Senate to pass the USA FREEDOM Act, which would curb some forms of online spying by the government.
Neil McAllister, 18 Nov 2014

Heyyy! NICE e-bracelet you've got there ... SHAME if someone were to SUBPOENA it

In what appears to be a legal first, data from a woman's Fitbit tech bracelet will be used in court to argue a case.
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Nov 2014
CSIRO's giant titanium bugs
1

CSIRO carves out another 75 jobs

The CSIRO has had to announce yet more staff cuts after one of its divisions failed to meet an external funding target.
French fries

Samsung, Apple soap opera drama: Korean giant WILL churn out chips for iPhones, iPads

Apple and Samsung have fought bitterly in the courtroom when it came to patents, but the two firms are still prepared to do business: namely the buying and selling of chips.
Iain Thomson, 18 Nov 2014
5

How to keep everything fluffy in your hybrid cloud world

Cloud computing is a big deal these days. Old farts like me can debate ad nauseam whether cloud is just a new word for what we use to call managed or hosted services and whether it is barking to call an on-premise virtualised infrastructure a private cloud.
Dave Cartwright, 17 Nov 2014
New York's proposed wi-fi station

You know those WEIRD glass sheds in New York? They'll be replaced with Gbps WiFi

New York City could replace its payphones in five boroughs with Wi-Fi hubs, to build a superfast city-wide wireless internet network.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Nov 2014
Nokia's mystery device

The Nokia ENIGMA THING and its SECRET, TERRIBLE purpose

Ever since Nokia sold its Devices'n'Services unit to Microsoft, fans of the one-time Finnish titan have been wondering whether it will be able to regain its position as one of the world's biggest tech names. But with its surprise tweet of a mystery product on Monday, online buzz has gone into overdrive.
Team Register, 17 Nov 2014
Another tree anchors the cable

NBN Co screws lid on FTTP coffin

NBN Co has set in place the new rollout principles announced last week, in the form of a new corporate plan.
Gun and dollars

FCC: Gonna need y'all to cough up $1.5bn to put broadband in schools

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) wants to spend $1.5bn on hooking up high-speed broadband to more American schools and libraries.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Nov 2014
6

Join The Reg in Sydney for beers, ideas and Christmas cheer

The silly season is upon us and The Reg hopes Sydney-based readers will share one evening of it with us to explore what the future holds for your job, your industry and your region.

Internet Society slams online 'UN Security Council' plan, snubs permanent seat offer

The Internet Society has blasted efforts from some quarters to create a "UN Security Council" for the internet – which would rule over the online world.
Kieren McCarthy, 17 Nov 2014
leonids

It's space WAR: Comet launches fireballs at space-invading EARTH

Pic Early-bird skywatchers in the US are in for a treat this week: the annual Leonid meteor shower starts just after midnight and will peak just before dawn on Tuesday.
Iain Thomson, 17 Nov 2014

SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS

Boffins have shot shocking footage of seals trying to rape penguins, which are normally one of their food sources.
Team Register, 17 Nov 2014
Taxi Driver

Now Uber can take EVERYONE for a ride

+Comment Casual car hire company Uber is teaming up with Spotify, ensuring neither your favourite musicians nor your driver get paid very much.
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Nov 2014
apple mac malware vxer
4

Three WireLurker suspects arrested in China – reports

Three people suspected of involvement in the WireLurker malware campaign have been arrested in China, according to reports.
John Leyden, 17 Nov 2014

Holy cow! Fasthosts outage blamed on DDoS hack attack AND Windows 2003 vuln

Fasthosts' five-hour collapse today has been blamed on a Distributed Denial of Service attack and a security flaw spotted on its Windows 2003 shared web server kit.
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014
Fight sticker
5

EMC daddy Tucci: YES, there has been too much internal 'friction'

EMC uber-CEO Joe Tucci has admitted that it has been a mistake to allow too much competition inside the federation, which must be music to activist shareholders' ears.
Chris Mellor, 17 Nov 2014
Google Wallet 'vision' illustration

Soz, web devs: Google snatches its Wallet off the table

If you sell digital goods on a website using Google Wallet to take payment, you have a little over three months to find an alternative.
Simon Rockman, 17 Nov 2014
USGI UV 2000
3

HPC bod SGI racks UV brains, reaches 30 MEEELLION IOPS

How does 30 million IOPS from a 32-socket server grab you?
Chris Mellor, 17 Nov 2014

Cyber security: Do the experts need letters after their name?

Despite its reticence over everything Snowden, GCHQ has been awfully proud of its work with academia over the last year.
Tom Brewster, 17 Nov 2014

State Dept shuts off unclassified email after hack. Classified mail? That's CLASSIFIED

The State Department has suspended its unclassified email system in response to a suspected hacking attack.
John Leyden, 17 Nov 2014

You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

Half of all McDonald's US touch purchase transactions are now made using Apple Pay, the fast food giant has announced.
Jasper Hamill, 17 Nov 2014
9

We come bearing internet: Google sends up Project Loon balloons in second test

Google is to run another test flight for its Project Loon internet-bringing balloons, this time sending up 20 new helium gas bags in Australia in partnership with Telstra.
Team_NetApp_Endura
7

NetApp cyclists part from storage firm... go to Bora Bora

NetApp's sponsorship of the European Endura professional cycle racing team is no longer, er, on tap.
Chris Mellor, 17 Nov 2014
Tim Berners-Lee, photo by Paul Clarke

Are MPs smarter than 5-year-olds? We'll soon find out at coding school – Berners-Lee

The inventor of the World Wide Web, Tim Berners-Lee, has urged British MPs to learn how to code - in what could arguably be seen as his most ambitious call to action yet.
Kat Hall, 17 Nov 2014

TalkTalk wants more FOURPLAY, jumps into bed with Telefónica

Carphone Warehouse’s former pet telco TalkTalk has jumped ship from Vodafone to do an MVNO deal with Telefonica, signalling a move that will see it take on other quad-play telcos.
Simon Rockman, 17 Nov 2014
Don't Panic towel
9

WinShock PoC clocked: But DON'T PANIC... It's no Heartbleed

Security researchers have released a proof-of-concept exploit against the SChannel crypto library flaw patched by Microsoft last week.
John Leyden, 17 Nov 2014

Fasthosts goes titsup, blames DNS blunder

Fasthosts went titsup this morning after DNS issues blighted the service.
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Broadband sellers in the UK are UP TO no good, says Which?

UK telcos need to stop fibbing about the network speeds they offer to subscribers, consumer champion Which? demanded today.
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Pics in SPAAAACE!: Hasselblad sells for $275,000

The first Hasselblad camera to travel into space sold last week at auction for an astronomical $275,000.
Lester Haines, 17 Nov 2014
Far Cry 4

Far Cry 4 REVIEW: It's a far cry from Far Cry 3

Game Theory Games are rarely known for providing a roster of characters worthy of a best supporting cast nomination, but Far Cry 4’s medley of misfits and tragic freedom fighters breaks the mould.
Mike Plant, 17 Nov 2014
Artist's impression of Philae on Comet 67P

THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

European Space Agency (ESA) boffins reckon they may have located the final touchdown site for their comet-intercepting Philae lander, after its bouncy landing caused them to lose track of it temporarily.

Facebook, working on Facebook at Work, works on Facebook. At Work

Facebook's decision to hire engineers in London is apparently related to plans to build a biz-friendly platform that will compete with such products as LinkedIn, Microsoft Office and Google's Drive. But, until "Facebook At Work" is ready, Facebookers will still be using ordinary Facebook at work.
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014
PlayStation Vita

Sony SPILLS GUTS on OTT service, so far for PlayStations only

Analysis Sony has unveiled its widely expected PlayStation Vue OTT TV service, telling us everything we need to know except the most important part: the price. At present it is just a US phenomenon, which makes sense – if it can make it there it can make it anywhere.
Faultline, 17 Nov 2014
Cray Sonexion
4

Cray heaves out even mightier, Lustre-ous Sonexion 2000

Cray has updated its scale-out, parallel access, Lustre-using Sonexion array with what it calls the "2000" product - providing 50 per cent more capacity and performance than the previous 1600 product in the same footprint.
Chris Mellor, 17 Nov 2014
3

Give it up for SecQuest - a rabbit-hunting spaceplane sponsor

We invite Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans to give it up today for SecQuest, one of the magnificent corporate responders to our Kickstarter tin-rattling to take the Vulture 2 ballocket launch to Spaceport America.
Lester Haines, 17 Nov 2014
Tor

Attack reveals 81 percent of Tor users but admins call for calm

The Tor project has urged calm after new research found 81 percent of users could be identified using Cisco's NetFlow tool.
Darren Pauli, 17 Nov 2014
Elite

Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Elite:Dangerous, the revival of classic eight-bit space trading game Elite, won't have a single-player offline mode and space commanders are mad as hell.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Nov 2014

Simon's says quantum computing will work

One of the hard parts of quantum computing is turning laboratory qubits into a calculation of anything. Now, South African scientists claim they've tested a handful of qubits against a 20-year-old algorithm to demonstrate that yes, a quantum computer can run it “faster” than a classical machine.
A 1963 replica batmobile
8

Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale

A heavily-customised Oldsmobile said to be the first officially-licenced Batmobile will go to auction later in December.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Nov 2014
2

LSI driver bug is breaking VSANs, endangering data

VMware says its VSAN virtual storage array is selling well, earning hardware-makers' attention and making plain the wisdom of the software-defined data centre.
Darren Pauli, 17 Nov 2014
Moonbase Otago's OneRNG entropy generator

Meet OneRNG: a fully-open entropy generator for a paranoid age

One of the many bits of technology that attracts paranoia in a post-Snowden era is random number generation, and a New Zealand developer hopes to help solve that with an all-open entropy generator.

VXers Shellshocking embedded BusyBox boxen

Malware writers have crafted new wares to attack embedded devices running BusyBox and not yet patched against the ShellShock vulnerability, researcher Rhena Inocencio says.
Darren Pauli, 17 Nov 2014
HP and Shrek 2
6

Shrek-as-a-service: DreamWorks and Infosys team up

Here's an odd one: Indian outsourcer Infosys and Hollywood animation studio DreamWorks Animation have created a “strategic engineering partnership”.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Nov 2014
Kindle Big Brother

Kindle, meet my partner. Darling, play nice with Kindle, please

Amazon.com has made a small-but-significant enhancement to its Kindle ebook ecosystem, as it now allows sharing ebooks among family members.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Nov 2014

Pre-digital computer 'cranks out' Fourier Transforms

Video A group of American engineers have rescued and returned to operation a Fourier-Transform-calculating machine designed in the 19th century.

You really need to do some tech support for Aunty Agnes

Users who don't update their anti-virus may as well uninstall it according to infection rate statistics published by Microsoft.
Darren Pauli, 17 Nov 2014
1

Cisco targets India with new investment

In a move interpreted as an endorsement of the new Indian government headed by reformer, and digital service delivery believer, Narendra Modi, Cisco wants to turn around its fortunes in India, and is reportedly putting US$1.7 billion on the table as part of its strategy.

World leaders rubber-stamp tax recoup effort at G20 gabfest

The leaders meeting of the G20 group of nations has endorsed existing approaches to combating international legal-but-naughty tax avoidance schemes.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Nov 2014
Random numbers

EVERYTHING needs crypto says Internet Architecture Board

The Internet Architecture Board (IAB) has called for encryption to become the norm for all internet traffic.
Uncov chronicles the failure of Web 2.0
3

Parliamentary committee says data retention should need a warrant

An Australian parliamentary committee has taken aim at the nation's proposed data retention regime, saying it fails tests of privacy, necessity and proportionality on several grounds, and called on the government to require warrants for data collection.
Undertaker with urn of ashes

DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

A widow was forced to take direct action against a T-Mobile shop after it repeatedly demanded payments for her dead husband's mobile.
Team Register, 16 Nov 2014

UK digi exclusion: Poor families without internet access could 'miss out' on child tax credit

Brits who aren't online but are entitled to access to the Tory-led Coalition government's childcare tax break could lose out, it has been reported.
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Nov 2014

Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up

Virgin Media's broadband network suffered what appeared to be a widespread service disruption on Saturday – the second such weekend, packet loss blunder to have struck the cable company in recent months.
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Nov 2014
Monty Python dead parrot sketch

BAD SANTA: Don't get ripped off this Christmas

Feature The season of horror and expense will soon be upon us, and with it lots of gift guides telling you what you should be forking out for. But before we get stuck into that, how you should buy it is just as important.
Nigel Whitfield, 16 Nov 2014
Circuit board underwear by emiko-o

'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?

CoTW In a simply shocking turn of events, two of the less popular comments on El Reg this week both came from Anonymous Cowards...
Gareth Corfield, 16 Nov 2014
Toyota Aygo

The Toyota Aygo is PARKtastic ... but it is very much a City slicker

Vulture at the Wheel Toyota had good reason to be pleased with its little Aygo. Launched in 2005, it went on to sell over three-quarters of a million units in Europe alone. That number doesn't include the near identical Citroën C1 and Peugeot 107 cars that also rolled off the Toyota-Peugeot-Citroën Automobile joint-venture production line at Kolín in the Czech Republic.
Alun Taylor, 16 Nov 2014

GT sapphire glaziers: You signed WHAT deal with Apple?

Worstall @ the Weekend It's been a terribly exciting few weeks, as we've seen GT Advanced Technologies (GTAT) stumble and crash headlong into bankruptcy protection. The more documents are released by the court the more we can find out about just how this happened.
Tim Worstall, 16 Nov 2014

Sarong it's right: Coining it in Thailand without a visa

The eXpat files In this week's eXpat files, we're speaking to … well, actually we're not going to use this person's real name, because they may work in Thailand without all the necessary paperwork. Our expat has therefore suggested we use the name “David Green”. So without any further ado, tells us what life's like over there, “David”.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Nov 2014

Rare Stegosaurus skeleton moves into plush London pad

London's Natural History Museum will be displaying the world's most complete Stegosaurus skeleton from early next month.
Team Register, 15 Nov 2014

Want to STUFF Facebook with blatant ADVERTISING? Fine! But you must PAY

Facebook has warned marketing types who use the free-content ad network to tout brands through so-called "promotional Page posts" that they will soon be extirpated.
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014
Selection of eggs on the bar

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg

It's been two years since we at El Reg's Special Projects Bureau brought hungry readers the last of our post-pub nosh deathmatches – a lively head-to-head featuring souse versus scrapple – and by popular demand we've decided to reheat the concept as part of Vulture Central's Weekend Edition.
Lester Haines, 15 Nov 2014
Philae ROLIS view of the comet landing site from 40m

Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

Philae's final hurrah (for now at least) on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko ended with success, the mission's jubilant boffins confirmed late last night.
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014

Microsoft exams? Tough, you say? Pffft. 5-YEAR-OLD KID passes MCP test

Wannabe techies take note: A five-year-old kid from Coventry has passed Microsoft's Certified Professional exam.
Team Register, 15 Nov 2014
Philae takes a first look at the surface of Comet 67P
3

Looking GOOD, probot. Philae good, humans: 'Yes ... YES! The lander is sitting on the ground'

QuoTW This was the week when a bunch of European space boffins made history by successfully landing a man-made object on a speeding, icy comet, after a few dramatic, bouncy bumps along the way.
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014
Revival

Stephen King, William Gibson and The Quantum Moment

Page File El Reg bookworms Lucy Orr and Mark Diston look at publishing's finest in scary and science fiction along with scientific uncertainties. Back on form are Stephen King with his latest spine tingler and William Gibson with a brain-teasing tale. Meanwhile physicists Robert P Crease and Alfred Scharff Goldhaber set about proving that you can explain mindbending quantum theories without equations and keep your readers with you.
2001 HAL poster

It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “We hit something the size of South London from ten years away.” Thus spake commentard Colin Ritchie the other day in response to The Register’s ongoing coverage of Rosetta’s extraordinary space odyssey.
Alistair Dabbs, 15 Nov 2014

Google Glass: Even the people who stand to MAKE MONEY from it hate the techno-specs

Google Glass has lost more than a bit of its momentum since the project was unveiled in 2012 – on Friday it was claimed that even developers building apps for the techno-goggles are giving up.
Shaun Nichols, 15 Nov 2014
Dr Matt Taylor

I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

Vid A tearful Rosetta comet probe boffin has apologized after he appeared on camera wearing a shirt emblazoned with half-naked buxom women.
Iain Thomson, 15 Nov 2014
Screenshot of Windows 10 Preview's OneDrive UI

Meet Windows 10's new UI for OneDrive – also known as File Explorer

Some members of Microsoft's Windows Insider program received yet another build of the Windows 10 Technical Preview this week, one that foreshadows more changes to the OS that should come as welcome news to those who cheered the return of the Start Menu.
Neil McAllister, 15 Nov 2014

FCC: You, AT&T. Get over here and explain this 'no more gigabit fiber' threat

The US Federal Communications Commission is calling out AT&T for throwing a hissy-fit over net neutrality and halting its gigabit-a-second fiber rollout.
Shaun Nichols, 15 Nov 2014
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EXPOSED: Amazon's cloudy Docker-friendly EC2 Container Service

Analysis Amazon stoked the fires of Linux container fever on Thursday with the introduction of its new EC2 Container Service for the Amazon Web Services (AWS) cloud. But what's the real benefit of ECS and how does it work?
Neil McAllister, 15 Nov 2014