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The Week in Summary

FBI badge and gun

TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab

The FBI wants greater authority to hack overseas computers, according to a law professor.
John Leyden, 19 Sep 2014
Our Playmonaut celebrates with three members of his fan club
2

Plucky Playmonaut parties as LOHAN hits Kickstarter goal

It's with the traditional portentous drumroll and mighty fanfare of trumpets that we announce we've hit our Kickstarter target to take the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission to Spaceport America.
Lester Haines, 19 Sep 2014
medical_doctor_health_channel
4

Open source and the NHS: Two huge disorganised entities without central control

To outsiders, Britain’s National Health Service must look like a monolith, with more than a million staff marching under one three letter acronym to provide healthcare free at the point of delivery, paid for by the taxes.
SA Mathieson, 19 Sep 2014
1

Russian botnet suspects cuffed over romantic MMS spyware allegs

Russian cops have arrested two mobile botnet cybercrime suspects as part of an ongoing investigation that's reckoned to be the first of its kind in Russia.
John Leyden, 19 Sep 2014
IDC object storage marketscape

Object Storage Alliance launched. Problem: 3 vendors haven't joined

After complaining for some time that its message is not understood, the object storage industry has set up an Object Storage Alliance – only to have three suppliers refuse to join.
Chris Mellor, 19 Sep 2014

Google Apple grapple brings crypto cop block to Android

Google has told The Washington Post it will introduce default encryption into its new Android fondleslabs in a bid to foil police forensics (and maybe to copy or catch up with Apple).
Darren Pauli, 19 Sep 2014
Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Who's that at the door, storage box flingers? It's the hard drive makers. No, they are not smiling

Analysis Hard drive makers are, metaphorically speaking, shifting from being gunsmiths to arms dealers. In other words, their customers, who take the drives and put them in boxes, better watch out.
Chris Mellor, 19 Sep 2014
The view from the ISS

Stray positrons caught on ISS hint at DARK MATTER source

Data gathered by the International Space Station's (ISS') Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (AMS) is being cautiously suggested as useful evidence for the existence of dark matter.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Sep 2014

Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us

Italian boffins claim to have devised a method of predicting future crime trends in London using creepy footfall data collected by a mobile phone provider.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Sep 2014
Philips 231P4QRYES ErgoSensor monitor

Monitors monitor's monitoring finds touch screens have 0.4% market share

Market monitor IDC's latest word on monitors goes some way to explaining limp enthusiasm for Windows 8: people just aren't buying touch-screen monitors.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Sep 2014
Larry Ellison, photo by Oracle Corporate Communications
8

Why Oracle CEO Larry Ellison had to go ... Except he hasn't

Analysis What's the difference between God and Larry Ellison? God doesn't think he's Larry Ellison.
Gavin Clarke, 19 Sep 2014

iPhone 6: Will it blend? We don't know, but it sure CAN'T FLY

First fracture In the queue to buy the iPhone 6 today, Vulture South met a chap named Alex McCredie, the founder of Sydney iThing repair company FixPod.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Sep 2014
Stock ticker board
4

Gigantic bazaar Alibaba WILL turn share price up to 11, er, $68 for biggest IPO ever in US

Chinese internet giant Alibaba has set the price of its shares to the max for what is shaping up to be the largest initial public offering (IPO) in US history.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2014
padlock
1

Samsung unlocks Knox at zero bucks

Samsung has dropped the cost of its mobile device management (MDM) suite Knox to $0.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Sep 2014

Apple iStuff saved by Beer

Apple has crushed a tonne of bugs across its products including 53 a piece in iOS 8 and OS X Mavericks, the majority reported by Google researcher Ian Beer.
Darren Pauli, 19 Sep 2014
Red Hat 100 Dollar
3

Red Hat to Wall Street: I came here to chew FeedHenry and kick some ass. And I'm all out of FeedHenry

Red Hat surprised analysts with very strong earnings for the second quarter of its fiscal 2015 on Thursday, even as the Linux vendor looked to enter the enterprise mobile apps market with a €63.5m ($82m) acquisition.
Neil McAllister, 19 Sep 2014
SAP
3

How's this for a biz expense? SAP pops $8.3 BEELLION on company card for Concur

SAP has announced it has agreed to acquire enterprise travel and business expense management software purveyor Concur Technologies in an $8.3bn takeover deal.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Register journo braves Aussie iPHONE queue, gets HANDS ON the BIGGUN

First Fondle If the lengthy queues for the new iPhone 6 handsets at the Broadway Apple Store in Sydney are any indication, mighty Apple is back on top form, el Reg can report.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Sep 2014
Orange Credit Card

Home Depot: 56 million bank cards pwned by malware in our tills

Home Depot today admitted 56 million bank cards are at risk after they were used in malware-infected tills.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Sep 2014
Oracle headquarters
5

First day of Hurd'n'Catz at Oracle: It's dis-fur-pointing for Wall St

Oracle posted results that missed analysts' expectations yet again on Thursday, in a Q1 2015 earnings report that was all but overshadowed by the unexpected news that Larry Ellison has stepped down as CEO.
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
rockstar games bully/canis canem edit
3

Feds act to stop cyber-bullying, whatever it is, at some future point

Australia's Communications minister Malcolm Turnbull, and his parliamentary secretary Paul Fletcher, have jointly announced that it is working on legislation to allow the appointment of a Children’s e-Safety Commissioner.
Darren Pauli, 18 Sep 2014
Larry Ellison, photo by Oracle Corporate Communications

Oracle's Larry Ellison quits as CEO – new bosses are Hurd'n'Catz

Oracle has, in the past few minutes, announced that company founder Larry Ellison has stepped down as chief executive, effective immediately.
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has brought down his axe again, sending off the next batch of the 18,000 employees he has promised will lose their jobs by the end of the year.
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
steve jobs

Does this float your boat? Dead Steve Jobs to hijack yachts from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple cofounder Steve Jobs shuffled off this mortal coil in 2011, but his name is living on in patent filings.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Sep 2014
IBM's System x3630 M3 server
5

Students playing with impressive racks? Yes, it's cluster comp time

HPC blog This article and the ones following it are the most comprehensive and in-depth analysis of a cluster competition that the world has ever seen. If you can find better coverage, then I'll eat a handful of spider webs.
Spam image

Ten years on, TEN PER CENT of retailers aren't obeying CAN-SPAM

One in 10 of the world’s largest online retailers are sill violating the CAN-SPAM Act, a full 10 years after the US anti-spam legislation went into effect.
John Leyden, 18 Sep 2014
Snowden image
7

Snowden's NSA leaks have galvanised the storage world

Anyone following the fortunes of the world’s biggest technology companies will have noticed a trend: every one of them has gone potty for privacy.
Tom Brewster, 18 Sep 2014
Disney's Beagle Boys

Copyright thieves' cyberlockers slurp MILLIONS from honest creators, study finds

An economic study of direct download locker sites has found most are used for copyright infringement – and calculates that they're highly profitable. The study looked at download sites like Mega, Rapidgator and Depositfiles, and streaming lockers like Movshare.net, Flashx.tv and Streamcloud.eu.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Sep 2014
Vehicle Wall Art slices of motoring culture

Damien Hirst, eat your heart out - these guys chop up TAXIS

100% Design Yes, it’s that time of year again when the design world presents its latest creations. The ideas shown off here will no doubt make it into very well-heeled home in the coming weeks – and gives the rest of us a glimpse of what’s coming in a year or two.
Bob Dormon, 18 Sep 2014
Apple Watch

Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

We're struggling to find a single reason why anyone would want to wear an Apple Watch, but here's one reason why you shouldn't.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Sep 2014
Alistair Darling and Alex Salmond debate Scottish independence

Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM

Web users have been warned to be wary of fake results messages about the Scottish Independence referendum.
John Leyden, 18 Sep 2014
Artist's View of M60-UCD1 Black Hole

PORTAL TO ELSEWHERE scried in small galaxy far, far away

Astronomers have spied a supermassive black hole - of the type theorised by some physicists to be portals out of our universe to elsewhere - in an itsy-bitsy ultracompact dwarf galaxy, the smallest ever known to contain such a gigantic light-sucking feature.
8

Mozilla shutters Labs, tells nobody it's been dead for five months

Mozilla has quietly shuttered its Labs, folding people and projects into the main organisation.
Gavin Clarke, 18 Sep 2014
australian credit cards fraud contactless

Forget bonking, have ONE OFF THE WRIST with Barclaycard's bPay

Barclaycard is trying to push consumers towards a cashless society with its contactless payment wristband, bPay.
John Leyden, 18 Sep 2014
Sony Xperia Nxt Series

Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought

Sony shares dropped more than eight per cent today after the firm warned that it expects losses for this year to be four times as bad as it previously predicted.

China hacked US Army transport orgs TWENTY TIMES in ONE YEAR

Sophisticated Beijing-backed hackers raided civilian organisations responsible for the movements of US troops and equipment 20 times in one year of which only two were detected by the responsible agency, an audit report has found.
Darren Pauli, 18 Sep 2014
flag.Scotland

Scotland wins WORLD RECORD as voters head to referendum polls

HPC blog The LINPACK portion of the ISC’14 Student Cluster Competition (LINK) was supposed to be routine, according to the cluster competition wise guys. Sure, some student team might set a new record, but no one was expecting the new mark to break through the 10 TFLOP/s barrier.
HGST_Active_archive_platform
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Aggressive HGST hurls flashy humdingers at online archiving

Comment Holy Moly, HGST is getting ambitious. It's building an active archive platform product in competition with some of its OEMs and its aiming to rewrite server clustering with a flash fabric - oh and develop helium-filled disk drives - and shingled drives with its own slant - and thinking of Phase Change Memory chips with DIMM connectors.
Chris Mellor, 18 Sep 2014
ISIS Islamists in Iraq

Jihadi terrorists DIDN'T encrypt their comms 'cos of Snowden leaks

The Snowden leaks have not changed the way jihadi terorrists communicate, according to a new study.
John Leyden, 18 Sep 2014
Stephen_fry_photo_cap_competition_6b

iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? NO, it's the Most Exquisite THING. EVER

Stephen Pie We had certain unavoidable production issues with this piece from our occasional "tech" guru Stephen Pie. Rather as in the case of Stephen Fry - any other similarity between the two is purely coincidental - Mr Pie's thoughts on the iPhone 6 have had to be published almost completely without benefit of sub-editing or other polishing. Our apologies. - Ed.
Stephen Pie, 18 Sep 2014
2

A3Cube turns RAM up to 11 with FORTISSIMO kit

A3Cube has fleshed out another part of its plans for high performance interconnect, adding an I/O access system to the RONNIE data plane technology it launched in February 2014.

Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please

Rupert Murdoch's minions have written to the European Commissioner for Competition Joaquín Almunia, urging him to mete out stern punishment to Google in the ongoing search market dominance probe.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014
Malcolm Turnbull

Turnbull: NBN won't turn your town into Silicon Valley

Australia's Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has again unloaded on his predecessors in government, saying the swift planing process for the National Broadband Network made it “the riskiest and most complex project the Australian Government has ever attempted to carry out.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014
3

Comprehensive guide to obliterating web apps published

The global security community has completed an 18-month effort to produce a guide it is hoped will boost the standard of web application testing and address new and dangerous technologies.
Darren Pauli, 18 Sep 2014

Top Gear Tigers and Bingo Boilers: Farewell then, Phones4U

"Their marketing seemed to be aimed at the more erm ... chav infested end of the market", wrote one Reg reader on the demise of Phones4U, which went into administration on Sunday.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Sep 2014
5

Student pleads guilty to Frances Abbott 'secret' scholarship leak

Sydney student Freya Newman has pled guilty to illegally using a colleagues' login credentials to access and leak documents about a scholarship awarded to the daughter of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott.
Darren Pauli, 18 Sep 2014

Apple's Cook: We have never allowed g-men access to Apple servers

Apple has made some amendments to its privacy policy, and has used the occasion to run an open letter from CEO Tim Cook explaining the changes.
NSA parody T-shirt

Spies would need SUPER POWERS to tap undersea cables

The Register has found itself subject to a certain amount of criticism for this author's scepticism regarding whether the NSA has been snooping on optical fibre cables by cutting them.
Kindle Fire HD for Kids

Amazon rekindles e-readers and Fire OS without weeks of whack-a-leak fun

Amazon.com has given its Kindle range a thorough refresh, springing a new range on world+dog today without the usual weeks of “will they or won't they and what's inside” leaks and speculation.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014
cookies_eyes_privacy evercookies flash cookies
1

Boffins plot global (browser) cookie crumb trail

Privacy laws covering the use of personally-identifiable information are, on a global scale, creating a dizzying patchwork of cookie-cutter cookie-serving companies created to sniff our Web browsing.
Apple New iPad vs iPad 2

Get ready for another HYPEGASM: New iPADs 'in October'

So soon after drowning the world in iPhone 6 and iOS 8 hype, Apple is said to be planning another party next month to launch more iPads and OS X Yosemite.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Sep 2014
Steve Herrod, VMware CTO
1

Former VMware CTO Steve Herrod is now mobile API 'appy

Your marketing department wants to build mobile apps to expose your business processes to world+dog, but if you do it their way you'll fail and set back future mobile development efforts.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014
BitTorrent Chat/Bleep

BitTorrent's peer-to-peer chat app Bleep goes live as public alpha

Bleep, the BitTorrent peer-to-peer chat client, is now out in the wild in the form of a public Alpha version.
Synology DS411slim
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Synology bakes word processor, groupware, into its NAS OS

Synology is about to release version 5.1 of its Disk Station Manager (DSM) NAS operating system, and has baked a word processor and groupware inside.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014
Mathematica screen shot

Mathematica hits the Web

Wolfram wants to broaden the appeal of its Mathematica product, adding a fully-online version to the existing standalone software applications.
3

Sweden orders TWO PETAFLOP supercomputer

Sweden's KTH (Royal Institute of Technology) is continuing its Cray fandom, placing a US$13 million order for an XC super and taking the institute into the petascale era.
Dunce

Read IBM's note to staff announcing mandatory training and 10% pay cut

IBM has instituted a new, mandatory training program for some US employees whom management claims don't measure up in the skills department – and participants will be required to give up 10 per cent of their salaries for the privilege.
Neil McAllister, 17 Sep 2014
Sad cloud

What's this 'pay as you go' cloud crap? Dunno about you, but my apps don't work that way

Sysadmin blog Anyone who says public cloud computing is "pay for what you use" is trying to rip you off. The public cloud is pay for what you provision, and that is a completely different thing.
Trevor Pott, 17 Sep 2014
A United Launch Alliance Atlas V rocket prepared fro launch in 2002. Pic: United Launch Alliance

Look out, SpaceX! Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin boffins tapped for US rocket launches

Blue Origin, the commercial space company formed by Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, has inked a deal with the United Launch Alliance (ULA) to jointly develop a new, US-built rocket engine for future space missions.
Neil McAllister, 17 Sep 2014
iOS 8

iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!

Updated Software using the super-hyped HealthKit API in iOS 8.0 has been pulled by Apple from the App Store due to a bug in the technology.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Sep 2014
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'Broken code' costs Yelp half a mil in child privacy dust-up with FTC

The US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has fined Yelp after accusing the reviews website of inappropriately gathering personal data on children.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Sep 2014
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Big Data's being held back by little talent, says Huawei head techie

Big data projects – seen by some as the tech industry’s latest snake oil and others as a potentially valuable tool to dig up fresh information – is being held back by the lack of data scientists for hire.
Paul Kunert, 17 Sep 2014
Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre
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Micron cackles as it unveils its chameleonic FLYING DISK KILLER

Micron has a new M600 client SSD that changes flash type on the fly to accelerate writes.
Chris Mellor, 17 Sep 2014
Eve in the Garden of Eden talking to a rather angry God on Snapchat

Apple flops out 2FA for iCloud in bid to stop future nude selfie leaks

Apple has rolled out two-factor authentication to lock down iCloud accounts, a move designed to prevent a repeat of the Celebgate incident when smutty snaps of nude starlets were leaked from the bowels of 4Chan.
Jasper Hamill, 17 Sep 2014
Bored girl

Speaking in Tech: 'I'm an Apple guy and I COULD CARE LESS about the iWatch'

Podcast Podcast Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week, Ed has escaped to Thailand while Greg and Sarah are joined by special guests Marc Farley of Quaddra Software and Aaron Delp of SolidFire.
Team Register, 17 Sep 2014

Cisco greedily slurps up private cloud-AAS upstart Metacloud

Cisco is buying Metacloud, a startup that promises to spin-up OpenStack clouds both privately and as a service.
Gavin Clarke, 17 Sep 2014
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NetApp's running with the big dogs: All-flash FlashRay hits the street

NetApp’s all-new FlashRay solid state array has been launched with limited availability and is not yet ready for prime time, having only a single controller, and lacking scale-out features and some ONTAP integration.
Chris Mellor, 17 Sep 2014
M-DISC profile

Wanna keep your data for 1,000 YEARS? No? Hard luck, HDS wants you to anyway

HDS' federal subsidiary says it has a Blu-ray optical storage platform for long term data preservation, with 1,000-year M-DISCs in prospect.
Chris Mellor, 17 Sep 2014
Adobe security

Critical Adobe Reader and Acrobat patches FINALLY make it out

Adobe belatedly pushed out critical updates for its frequently-attacked Reader and Acrobat PDF software packages on Tuesday.
John Leyden, 17 Sep 2014
register logo white on red

CIOs: Want to find out how to break into the boardroom?

Reg Events Very few businesses don’t rely on technology these days. Yet how often do they place real strategic power in the hands of the people running IT? You know who we mean - you.
Joe Fay, 17 Sep 2014

What TODO with open source: Google, Facebook and Twitter launch collab project

Some of the web’s biggest users of open-source gear have thrown their weight behind a project to make open-source “easier.”
Gavin Clarke, 17 Sep 2014

Edge Research Lab to tackle chilly LOHAN's final test flight

We're on final approach for the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) ballocket mission to touch down at Spaceport America. Since we're relocating Stateside, it seems appropriate that the final high-altitude test flight should be carried out by our US allies at Edge Research Laboratory.
Lester Haines, 17 Sep 2014

Will Apple give Chinese iPhone workers cancer? THE TRUTH

Worstall on Wednesday Last weekend's headlines screamed that Chinese workers making Apple's iPhone 6 were developing cancer. Is Apple's greed for ever-greater profits literally killing its Middle Kingdom wage slaves?
Tim Worstall, 17 Sep 2014
Crime in Russia

UK.gov lobs another fistful of change at SME infosec nightmares

Business secretary Vince Cable has announced a £4m fund to help small businesses fight cyber crime. This has not gone down well with the infosec world.
John Leyden, 17 Sep 2014
A fake tattoo on the leg of Canberra Raiders footballer Sandor Earl, sent by Huawei as an April Fool

Huawei: Our sales in Europe and US are TINY, admits red-faced exec

Huawei’s enterprise biz outside of China is crawling along, hampered in Europe by a slower-than-forecast recruitment of channel partners and in the US by government paranoia concerns over espionage.
Paul Kunert, 17 Sep 2014

eBay promises to refund seller fees after latest MASSIVE OUTAGE

eBay is telling some of its sellers that their fees will be refunded, following Sunday's seven-hour-long outage - which was the latest in a series of technical blunders hitting the online tat bazaar.
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Sep 2014
Samsung's 1cm-thick LCD TV

4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch

Breaking Fad The 2014 IFA tech expo could well go down as pivotal in the yet to be written sputtering history of 4K home entertainment. While most (well, me) take it as read that the large panel market will migrate entirely to 2160p resolution over the coming months, big questions remain over just what you’ll be able to do with all those extra pixels.
Steve May, 17 Sep 2014
IMFT 25nm Flash die
4

Will multi-tier flash arrays come to a data centre near you?

Multi-tier storage is a familiar concept in data centres and large server installations.
Dave Cartwright, 17 Sep 2014
USS Macon above San Francisco

Hey, Mac fanbois. HGST wants you drooling over its HUGE desktop RACK

Pay $7,000 and you could have a 64TB desktop storage pool connected to your Mac workstation. Its a lot of money, but 64TB is a hellacious amount of storage. Say it costs $1.09/GB, which sounds sort of affordable. Who makes such a box?
Chris Mellor, 17 Sep 2014
3

VMware releases XenApp to Horizon porting tool

VMware has released a tool to migrate apps made virtual and portable by Citrix's XenApp into its own Horizon View product.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Sep 2014
Parachute

POW! Digia straps Qt into ejector seat, gleefully pulls handle

From Trolltech to Nokia and Nokia to Digia, the application framework Qt has had a challenging corporate life even though it retained fans among developers. Now, the language's next phase of life has begun in earnest, spun out of Digia into a separate subsidiary tasked with bringing the commercial and open source Qts back into alignment.
The Cave 2 visualisation facility in Melbourne, Australia

iOS 8 release: WebGL now runs everywhere. Hurrah for 3D graphics!

Today, Apple drops iOS 8, and whilst most of Cupertino’s fanbois will be quantifying themselves with HealthKit, flashing their lights with HomeKit, or configuring their greatly expanded notifications capabilities, one of the most significant changes in its mobile operating system has mostly been ignored by Apple.
Mark Pesce, 17 Sep 2014
Nervous girl bites nails

WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups

Back in the bad old days when men were men and women were, well, a bit more relaxed, new forms of technology generally ushered in equally new ways of watching other folk having sex.
Jasper Hamill, 17 Sep 2014
4

Citadel Trojan phishes its way into petrochem firm's webmail

Trusteer researchers are saying that the victims of the latest round of Citadel trojan infections includes one of the largest petrochemical companies in the world.
Darren Pauli, 17 Sep 2014

Microsoft staff brace for next round of layoffs – expected Thursday

The coffee machines at Microsoft will be taking a hammering from nervous workers after a report that the company will lay off another tranche of staff on Thursday.
Iain Thomson, 17 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads

Apple will release iOS 8 – the latest major version of its mobile operating system – today.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Sep 2014
australian credit cards fraud contactless

Credit card cutting flaw could have killed EVERY AD on Twitter

Twitter has patched a flaw in its service that allowed unauthorised users to delete every credit card from all accounts, potentially relieving the company of its advertising revenue, security researcher Ahmed Aboul-Ela says.
Darren Pauli, 17 Sep 2014
Canonical Orange Box
2

Canonical, AMD, team up with OpenStack-in-a-rack

AMD and Canonical have announced a new hardware partnership that will see the pair prepare an OpenStack-in-a-rack product.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Sep 2014
Twisted radio beam intensity plot

US boffins demo 'twisted radio' mux

Evidence continues to mount that the orbital angular momentum (OAM) of radio waves – “twisted waves” – can be exploited to modulate multiple data streams on the same spatial path.
Facebook logo

Facebook unleashes inter-cache router code on a waiting world

Facebook has slung another slice of code into the open source world: the software that lets it sling content between caches around the world, fast enough to keep The Social NetworkTM social.
No Sale

NO SALE! Rackspace snubs all buyout offers, appoints new CEO

Rackspace says it has given up on plans to either sell itself or merge with another company, and to prove it the cloud hosting provider has named a new CEO to lead its next phase of independent operation.
Neil McAllister, 17 Sep 2014
2

Cisco sprinkles Sourcefire goodies on ASA firewalls

Cisco has taken the next step in wrapping the technology it acquired along with Sourcefire, by putting its Adaptive Security Appliance (ASA) next-gen firewalls and the FirePOWER technology into the blender and giving it a good spin.
6

Amazon REINTRODUCES Kindle swindle vulnerability

Amazon has reintroduced and again fixed a flaw into its Kindle management page that allows attackers to commandeer accounts by booby trapping pirated books, researcher Benjamin Mussler says.
Darren Pauli, 17 Sep 2014
RoCE v2 stack image
4

Oi! You noisy servers! Talk among yourselves and stop bothering that poor router!

The group behind the RDMA over converged Ethernet standard – RoCE to its friends – is tweaking the spec to support UPD and IP in the stack.
IBM Watson QA Power7 cluster
8

Run little spreadsheet, run! IBM's Watson is coming to gobble you up

IBM's Jeopardy! star supercomputer Watson has turned its attention from trivial pursuits to even more mundane pursuits – namely, crunching sales figures for companies.
Neil McAllister, 16 Sep 2014
ICBM simulating rocket

SCREW YOU, Russia! NASA lobs $6.8bn at Boeing AND SpaceX to run space station taxis

NASA has named SpaceX and Boeing as its official partners to deliver cargo and crew to the International Space Station, and says both should be ready to deliver within three years.
Iain Thomson, 16 Sep 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo

Big Content Australia just blew a big hole in its credibility

The Australian Home Entertainment Distributors Association (AHEDA) yesterday released “independent research” claiming that “Australia has the lowest average price in the world when looking at new release high definition digital video on demand films”.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
6

Court flushes VirnetX's $368m check from Apple down the toilet

A US court has dashed a $368m windfall for technology hoarder VirnetX, which successfully sued Apple for patent infringement.
Shaun Nichols, 16 Sep 2014
Scrooge McDuck

Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich

Social networks for the rich and famous are nothing new: the first one started about ten years ago. But, this week, a new site called Netropolitan has emerged, and thinks it's cracked the reason why so many of them fail – they just weren't charging enough dosh.
Iain Thomson, 16 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

iPhone 6 will make you fork over with Apple Pay if you want to BONK

NFC has struggled to get off the ground as a major smartphone feature. And despite Apple finally deciding to include it in the upcoming Apple Watch and iPhone 6, it doesn't sound like Cupertino will be doing the tech any real favor – because third-party app developers won't be able to access it.
Neil McAllister, 16 Sep 2014
Huawei logo
3

Huawei: Our servers are a flash in the DRAM – thanks, SanDisk

Huawei has swooped onto SanDisk for flash DIMMs to soup up its RH8100 servers.
Chris Mellor, 16 Sep 2014
Uber logo
6

Deutschland, Uber allowed (for now): Ban on taxi app lifted

A judge in Germany has scrapped a temporary injunction banning Uber's taxi service in the country.
Shaun Nichols, 16 Sep 2014

Got your NUDE SELFIES in the cloud? Two-factor auth's your best bet for securing them

Bill Gates in 2004 predicted the death of the password over time. “They just don’t meet the challenge for anything you really want to secure,” Gates said.
Stuart Burns, 16 Sep 2014

OECD lashes out at tax avoiding globocorps' location-flipping antics

Proposals to stop tax avoidance by multinationals like Amazon and Google have been unveiled by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD).
Gavin Clarke, 16 Sep 2014
Huawei Campus Shenzhen Bantian

Huawei: There'll be BLOOD spilled in the smartphone sector soon

The smartphone stragglers are set to fall further behind the leading pack and some will likely crash and burn in the not-too-distant future, according to one of the device chiefs at Huawei.
Paul Kunert, 16 Sep 2014

PLEASE STOP with the snooping requests, begs Google as gov data demands skyrocket

Worldwide government requests for access to Google's user data leapt by 15 per cent in the last six months, the ad giant said in its latest "Transparency Report" published on Monday.
Team Register, 16 Sep 2014
lava

Was Earth once covered in HELLFIRE? No – more like a wet Sunday night in Iceland

Early Earth may have been less like the hellish realm of molten magma previously suspected but also distinct from the sort of environment found in modern-day Iceland, according to research by geologists.
John Leyden, 16 Sep 2014

Cracked it - Vulture 2 power podule fires servos for 4 HOURS

It's with a great degree of relief that we can report today we appear to have cracked our Vulture 2 spaceplane's pesky servo power supply issue.
Lester Haines, 16 Sep 2014
Apple Watch

Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Apple is facing tough privacy questions as it gears up for the release of its new Apple Watch, with one US state attorney demanding a meeting with Tim Cook.
Jasper Hamill, 16 Sep 2014
Xpliant chip
3

Xpliant targets white-label Ethernet switch vendors with shiny new silicon

Ethernet silicon vendor Xpliant – currently being digested by Cavium in an acquisition due to conclude in 2015 – is hoping to knock Broadcom out of its spot at the heart of the Ethernet switch market.

Rejoice, Blighty! UK is the TOP of the WHOLE WORLD ... for PHISHING

British punters are being served three times as many phishing links to trojans and exploit kits than the US, and five times more than the Germans, according to a ProofPoint study.
Darren Pauli, 16 Sep 2014
1

Docker scores 40 MILLION greenbacks to pop business into boxes

Containerisation mavens Docker have scooped $40m in series C funding.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
B&W film still of man with electric drill.

Is your data boring? MapR wants you to bore it back with Apache Drill

MapR has given its customers a new way to use SQL to query their Big Data stores, with the addition of Apache Drill to MapR's eponymous Hadoop distribution.
Neil McAllister, 16 Sep 2014
Samsung Galaxy Note II

One sixth of the ENTIRE PLANET will buy a new smartphone this year

One in six human beings are set to buy a new smartphone this year, Juniper has predicted, with the sales surge driven by the availablilty of mobes which cost under a hundred quid.
Jasper Hamill, 16 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Bonking with Apple has POUNDED mobe operators' wallets

Weve, the bonk-tastic joint venture between EE, O2 and Vodafone to “create and accelerate the development of mobile marketing and wallet services in the UK”, has abandoned plans to launch a digital wallet.
Simon Rockman, 16 Sep 2014
SUSE Cloud logo

SUSE Linux owner Attachmate gobbled by Micro Focus for $2.3bn

Attachmate, the software shop that headhunted Novell and SUSE Linux, is itself being bought out by Micro Focus International.
Gavin Clarke, 16 Sep 2014
Airware video

Drones CAN'T deliver goods ... oh. Air traffic control system backed by NASA, you say?

Recently we wrote about how developing city delivery drones was a fool's errand. Yet Startup Airwave is working with NASA to develop an air traffic control system for drones. Who’s foolish now?
Chris Mellor, 16 Sep 2014
Samsung SSD850 PRO 3D V-NAND storage

A SCORCHIO fatboy SSD: Samsung SSD850 PRO 3D V-NAND

Review Samsung has been in the SSD business for over ten years. Most of that time has been spent delivering drives to the Enterprise and OEM segments. Since the introduction of its first consumer SSD drive (the SSD430) in 2010, it has since shipped over 12m drives worldwide – including the SSD840, the world’s first TLC NAND drive.
Simon Crisp, 16 Sep 2014
Flag of Israel; credit James Emery

Israeli spies rebel over mass-snooping on innocent Palestinians

Israeli politicians and a former military intelligence commander have hit back at reservists who criticized Israel for spying on ordinary Palestinians.
John Leyden, 16 Sep 2014
SANblox
4

Permabit builds shrink-your-SAN dedupe box

Permabit has built a front-end SAN box to dedupe and compress SAN data so it needs less disk capacity.
Chris Mellor, 16 Sep 2014
Houses of Parliament in night-time
8

Give us a digi-Czar and more bureaucrats, begs UK tech-services biz

+Comment New policy proposals published by tech services trade group Tech UK (formerly Intellect) today seek to grapple with its members being marginalised by recent Government fads.
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Sep 2014
POrch

Oracle slurps another storage upstart: Front Porch Digital joins Ellison's crew

The ceaseless hoovering up of small companies and startups by business behemoths has seen Oracle buy Front Porch Digital. Why did Larry Ellison latch on to this outfit?
Chris Mellor, 16 Sep 2014

'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux

New videos of a "Windows 9" variant have emerged, and to this hack's eyes they look to have brought Windows up to speed with tricks that various desktop flavours of Unix have had for a decade or more.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
8

Attackers tapping on SNMP door to see if it's open

Google's DNS IP address is being spoofed by an attacker, apparently in an attempt to DDoS hosts vulnerable to a flaw in the SNMP protocol.

THREE QUARTERS of Android mobes open to web page spy bug

A Metasploit module has been developed to easily exploit a dangerous flaw in 75 percent of Android devices that allows attackers to hijack a users' open websites.
Darren Pauli, 16 Sep 2014

Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen has launched legal action against a firm he has accused of failing to properly sell him a World War II German panzer tank.
Jasper Hamill, 16 Sep 2014
The Hindenburg disaster
7

Is your cloud server in the same bit barn as your DR site?

Microsoft is about to launch a “Geo” for Azure in Australia and has decided that the way to do so down under is by co-locating its kit in an as-yet-unidentified third-party bit barn.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
eyeofSauron

'Speargun' program is fantasy, says cable operator

The washup from yesterday's Dotcom-Snowden-Greenwald saga rolls on, with Southern Cross Cable Network angrily denying that New Zealand's spooks, the NSA, or anybody else for that matter has worked a tap into its cables.

Hackers-for-hire raided 300 banks, corporates for TWELVE YEARS

A band of hackers for hire have raided some 300 banks, corporations and governments undetected for 12 years, possibly the longest campaign of its kind.
Darren Pauli, 16 Sep 2014
india

India's MOM Mars mission makes final course correction

India's Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) has made its first course correction since June and is now on track to to arrive in orbit around the red planet on September 24th.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
The actor playing a young Julian Assange in the telemovie Underground

I saved Bitcoin and the PERFECT DRAFT OF HISTORY, says Assange

Julian Assange has alleged that Bitcoin “founder” Satoshi Nakamoto asked WikiLeaks not to use the cryptocurrency as a means of raising funds, for fear of attracting unwanted attention.
Simon Sharwood, 16 Sep 2014
That 419 shirt artwork in full

Bank IT bod accused of stealing $40 MEEELLION from employer

If you get an email from a hapless Nigerian prince who needs a hand shifting a few million dollars, the message will no doubt wing its way into your spam folder.
Iain Thomson, 16 Sep 2014
Tesla Sport

Massachusetts shoots down car dealers' Tesla-busting sueball

A court in Massachusetts, US, has ruled in favor of Tesla in a case that could have barred the company from selling its electric car in the state.
Shaun Nichols, 16 Sep 2014
Privacy image
7

Chinese 'Sogou Explorer' browser sends URLs to parts unknown

A Chinese-language cloud-based browser seems to be snooping on its users, according to research conducted by the Asia Pacific Network Information Centre's (APNIC's) Geoff Huston, George Michaelson and Byron Ellacot.
5

Alibaba: Just kidding about that $21bn IPO ... we actually want $25bn

Chinese web bazaar Alibaba has raised the goal for its upcoming stock market debut in the US.
Shaun Nichols, 16 Sep 2014
Paul Ceglia
8

Tough luck, Zuck! Man who claimed to own half of Facebook has fraud trial delayed six months

The man accused of trying to cheat Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg out of half of the social network has had his fraud trial delayed by six months so he can take time to go over his case with his new lawyer.
Neil McAllister, 15 Sep 2014
ipod u2 edition

Apple gives fanbois The Sweetest Thing: A delete button for that U2 album

It's a Beautiful Day: Apple has created a utility to remove U2's Songs of Innocence album that was force-fed into people's iCloud libraries overnight.
Shaun Nichols, 15 Sep 2014
Winnie-the-Pooh honey
3

Business expects data retention will hit their bottom lines: survey

Risk management outfit Protiviti says Australian businesses are fearful that the government's proposed metadata retention scheme is going to cost them.
Thurber-esque cartoon of fat mouse looking inquisitively at bicycle pump valve

Cable internet won't need dose of fibre to stop feeling bloated

CableLabs, the industry group that develops data transmission standards for cable television networks, is experimenting with Active Queue Management (AQM) to deal with the issue of bufferbloat in cable networks.
MIT robot cheetah

MIT boffins cry havoc and let slip the ROBOT CHEETAHS of Whoa

Vid MIT roboticists in the US have exhibited a robo-cheetah that will run and bound across the landscape without the need for a power cord.
Iain Thomson, 15 Sep 2014
Scrooge McDuck

Microsoft buys Minecraft for $2.5bn. Notch: I'm getting the block outta here

When Microsoft acquires Minecraft maker Mojang for a dizzying $2.5bn, the game's creator won't be coming along for the ride.
Neil McAllister, 15 Sep 2014
Tor
8

Comcast exec: No, we haven't banned Tor. I use it. You're probably using it

Comcast has denied claims that it will cut off subscribers for using the Tor project's anonymizing web browser.
Iain Thomson, 15 Sep 2014
RadioShack

As bankruptcy looms for RadioShack, we ask its chief financial officer... oh. He's quit

The chief financial officer of struggling US electronics retailer RadioShack has resigned – as the company faces a fiscal crisis from which it has warned it may not be able to recover.
Neil McAllister, 15 Sep 2014
XtremIO upgrade video

No biggie: EMC's XtremIO firmware upgrade 'will wipe data'

There's a rumor that upgrading EMC's XtremIO firmware to v3.0 will wipe all user data from the flash array.
Chris Mellor, 15 Sep 2014
8

Seagate's triple-headed Cerberus could SAVE the DISK WORLD

Seagate is thinking of doubling up - or possibly even tripling - disk read heads to get a stronger signal from disk platters with more and narrower data tracks.
Chris Mellor, 15 Sep 2014
Satya Nadella

Microsoft splurges 2½ INSTAGRAMS buying Minecraft maker Mojang

+Comment Having closed down its own lesser gaming operations, Microsoft is spending $2.5bn on buying one with a big punch – Minecraft maker Mojang.
Gavin Clarke, 15 Sep 2014
Rosetta

Europe prepares to INVADE comet: Rosetta landing site chosen

The European Space Agency has selected a site for the Rosetta space probe's lander, which is attempting to touch down on comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
Jasper Hamill, 15 Sep 2014
Flytrap

Yawn, Wikileaks, we already knew about FinFisher. But these software binaries...

WikiLeaks is making the controversial FinFisher commercial spyware tool available for download as part of the latest in a series of leaks that have put the operations of the controversial business under the microscope.
John Leyden, 15 Sep 2014
Cheap kit kat

Get your Indian Landfill Android One handsets - they're only SIXTY QUID

Three Indian manufacturers have signed up to make Android One budget handsets in India and the devices have been launched today.
Simon Rockman, 15 Sep 2014

Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills

BT and other British network operators have followed in the footsteps of knickers model David Beckham by urging Scotland not to quit the Union.
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Sep 2014
Apple CEO Tim Cook in 1979, during his freshman year at Auburn University

Apple CEO Tim Cook: TV is TERRIBLE and stuck in the 1970s

Some may fondly remember the era that bought us The Clangers, Fawlty Towers and The Sweeney. But not Apple boss Tim Cook, who reckons the goggle box is stuck in a time warp so intense that watching it is like being sucked back back into the 1970s.
Jasper Hamill, 15 Sep 2014
Destiny

Half a BILLION in the making: Bungie's Destiny reviewed

Game Theory Repetition is a funny thing. If I was to write this review and say everything twice (say everything twice), you’d quite reasonably think I was daft. And yet, we gamers tend to delight in the repeat performance.
Mike Plant, 15 Sep 2014
Phones4u logo

Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

Phones 4u's website is currently telling customers that it is unable to trade due to "the unexpected decision of EE and Vodafone to withdraw supply" from the retailer.
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Sep 2014
road closed road sign

Huawei ditches new Windows Phone mobe plans, blames poor sales

Huawei - the planet’s third biggest shifter of smartphones - has abandoned plans to build more devices based on Windows due to slower than expected sales.
Paul Kunert, 15 Sep 2014
Azure icon
1

Weekly webinar: How to get started with Microsoft Azure

Promo Microsoft UK is running a series of Azure training sessions and seminars this month, kicking off the The Azure Weekly webinar on Tuesday 16, 12:30-13:30 (BST).
David Gordon, 15 Sep 2014

LOHAN tin-rattles to a whopping £27,000 on Kickstarter

With six days left to run on our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) Kickstarter campaign to take the Vulture 2 ballocket mission to Spaceport America, we're tantalisingly close to hitting our £30k target.
Lester Haines, 15 Sep 2014
Chat from the #opaustralia IRC channel
8

Freenode IRC users told to change passwords after securo-breach

A security breach at popular, free and open source software-focused IRC network Freenode means users need to change their passwords.
John Leyden, 15 Sep 2014
Intel Grantley Xeon

Maxta goes gung-ho for Grantley, cuddles up to big daddy Intel

Hyper-converged software startup Maxta has repaid Intel’s faith and investment with updated software featuring Grantley support and an Intel-flavoured reference architecture – eat this and you will have lots of Intel inside.
Chris Mellor, 15 Sep 2014
Arrow quiver
3

Hey, scammers. Google's FINE with your dodgy look-a-like apps

Attackers can easily craft third party scripts to imitate Google to trick users into granting authorisation to their email accounts, says infosec chap Andrew Cantino.
Darren Pauli, 15 Sep 2014
Seagate hybrid drives
3

Seagate's BUMPER State of the Storage Nation announcement

Analysis Positioning itself as a data steward, Seagate has presented its storage state of the nation pitch, announcing: three new disk drives; LaCie Thunderbolt external storage; two server flash cards and a controller; an HPC array; a new backup appliance; and a bright and shiny cloud and enterprise business unit.
Chris Mellor, 15 Sep 2014
Doom printer hack

Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

Security researchers have demonstrated a hack that allowed them to get into the web interface of a Canon Pixma printer before modifying its firmware to run the classic 90s computer game Doom.
John Leyden, 15 Sep 2014
chart
3

Big Blue bludgeons its way to top of software-defined storage kingdom

IDC has ranked IBM as the top supplier of Software-Defined Storage Platforms (SDS-P) in its second quarter 2014 Worldwide Storage Software Qview survey.
Chris Mellor, 15 Sep 2014
Glenn Greenwald and Kim Dotcom

Snowden, Dotcom, throw bombs into NZ election campaign

Edward Snowden and Kim Dotcom have joined hands and waded into New Zealand politics ahead of the nation's forthcoming election, by alleging prime minister John Key has told fibs about his government's involvement with the NSA's nasties.
Chongqing's segregated footpath

Chinese city creates footpath for smartphone addicts

China's fifth-largest city, Chongqing, has decided to help out smartphone addicts by devoting a chunk of footpath so they never need to look up from their screens as they walk around.
Spectral map

Radio hams can encrypt, in emergencies, says Ofcom

UK regulator Ofcom is looking for radio hams' opinions about proposed changes to spectrum and amateur licensing.
V

Boffins: Searching for ALIENS is like looking for PIZZA among students

Boffins have warned that humanity may have missed out on finding aliens because we are looking for the wrong signs.
Jasper Hamill, 15 Sep 2014
Sad cloud
1

China, clouds, to kill data centre tech market growth

China's data centre kit-providers will take two per cent of the global market from current suppliers, according to newly-released Gartner research titled “Four Highly Disruptive Factors Will Challenge the Survival of Incumbent Data Center Market Vendors.”
Simon Sharwood, 15 Sep 2014
First text

New 'Cosmos' browser surfs the net by TXT alone

A project that's just landed on github aims to let users in the developing world access Web pages over text messages alone.
Brute Force

Hackers pop Brazil newspaper to root home routers

A popular Brazilian newspaper has been hacked by attackers who used code that attacked readers' home routers, says researcher Fioravante Souza of web security outfit Sucuri.
Darren Pauli, 15 Sep 2014

Netscape plugins about to stop working in Chrome for Mac

Google has let it be known that it will stop working on 32-bit versions of Chrome for Mac OS.
Simon Sharwood, 15 Sep 2014
SLAC's battery charging test rig

Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around

US boffins are overturning the understanding of how Li-ion batteries charge, by watching the behaviour of individual molecules as they absorb charges.
Ciscoblood

Benioff bails from Borg Board

Salesforce.com CEO Marc Benioff has decided not to stand for re-election to Cisco's Board of Directors at the company's November annual general meeting.
Simon Sharwood, 15 Sep 2014
NBN Co Customer premises equipment
2

Tasmania offered possible pay-to-connect for NBN fibre

NBN Co boss Bill Morrow has told Tasmanians that communities might be able to preserve the fibre rollout – if they're prepared to kick the can for the installation.
The Antikythera Mechanism

Archaeologists and robots on hunt for more Antikythera pieces

Archaeologists have set out on another expedition to the Antikythera wreck site, with the aim of finding the missing pieces of the site's famous “ancient computer”.
Sorry we're closed

Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Phones 4u fell into administration late on Sunday, after carrier EE cut its ties with the UK retailer.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014

eBay DROPS DEAD AGAIN - tat bazaar says sorry, scrambles to resurrect site

eBay went titsup earlier today, and the company is now attempting to bring its site back to life.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014
Jaws on Blu-ray disc
7

Stricter shark and manta ray trade rules enforced from today

Vid Manta ray species and five types of shark now have greater protection from international trade, following new measures that were adopted last year.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014
Lego Minecraft

Microsoft's rumoured $2.5bn Minecraft gobble expected on Monday

Microsoft is reportedly planning to spend $2.5bn on the rumoured buyout of Minecraft maker Mojang, with a deal speculatively set for Monday.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014

New Snowden leak: US and Brit spooks 'tap into German telco networks to map end devices'

An NSA and GCHQ surveillance programme - dubbed Treasure Map - grants US and British spooks access to the networks of German telcos such as Deutsche Telekom, according to a new stash of leaked documents from Edward Snowden.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014
Spin

In a spin: Samsung accuses LG exec of washing machine SABOTAGE

LG's top home appliances exec Jo Seong-jin has been accused of vandalising Samsung washing machines at two stores in Germany during the IFA shindig in Berlin earlier this week.
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Sep 2014

Evil mining firms? Please. Obeying profit motive is KINDER to the environment

Worstall @ the Weekend Goldman Sachs has released a note to investors shouting that this is the end of the iron age. But it's not talking about how pointy bits on spears are now replaced by lead in bullets: rather, that the age when owning a mountain of iron ore was a route to easy billions is over.
Tim Worstall, 14 Sep 2014
Pikemen overtaking a bus outside St. Paul's Cathedral, London

'There is no downside – unless you count the total bath you take moving your stuff'

The eXpat Files Welcome to The eXpat Files, a new weekend Reg regular in which we chat to an IT professional who's decided to seek his or her fortune in another land, so you can learn how to follow in their footsteps.
Simon Sharwood, 14 Sep 2014
The fashion world’s most privileged urchin lounges in a luxury hotel in Paris, 1993. © Geoff Wilkinson/RexUSA

Weekend reads: A new Poirot, drug-fuelled Champagne Supernovas and The Establishment

Page File El Reg bookworms Mark Diston and Lucy Orr pore over the latest book releases. Owen Jones, author of Chavs , has a pop at the establishment, Maureen Callahan gets right under the skin of the fashion world's excesses in the 1990s, and Sophie Hannah's new work is the supposed "literary event of the year" – a brand new Poirot mystery written with the blessing of Agatha Christie's estate.
Withings Home camera

Be your own Big Brother: Monitoring your manor, the easy way

Feature If you've ever had the misfortune to be burgled, you'll know how nervous it can make you feel. After my own experience some twenty years ago, it took a long time before I could leave the flat without fretting, and perhaps using my new-fangled mobile phone to call the home computer and check that it was still there to answer the fax modem.
Nigel Whitfield, 14 Sep 2014
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say

Banks and credit card providers are paying a hefty price to be part of Apple's new Pay system, unveiled by boss Tim Cook earlier this week.
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Sep 2014
android tongue

Bloat-free, unlocked Moto X to be dubbed 'Pure Edition', says report

Motorola has reportedly named its yet to be released bloat-free, unlocked Moto X the "Pure Edition".
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Our playmonaut tries out a jetpack, watched by a circling vulture

DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster

Vid Students are working on a test build of a wearable jetpack that could help soldiers run faster on the field of combat.
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014

Drag queens: Oh, don't be so bitchy, Facebook! Let us use our stage names

Drag queens are protesting against Facebook's real name policy, after the free content ad network forced them to use their legal names on the service.
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Sep 2014
Picard Facepalm

General Motors issues STOP DELIVERY for 2,800 corvettes over defects in 2015 model

General Motors has been forced to recall nearly 3,000 Chevrolet Corvettes, after the giant US car manufacturer said that the vehicles may have air bag defects or brake faults.
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Illustration of an atom

The sound of silence: One excited atom is so quiet that the human ear cannot detect it

Boffins believe they have successfully demonstrated the sound a single atom makes when excited - even though it is completely inaudible to the human ear.
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014
Using a giant machine gun for propulsion

Let XKCD's Randall Munroe satisfy your curiosity in this excerpt from his book, What If

Read an extract of the book that's hit the top of the New York Times and the Sunday Times bestseller lists this weekend - What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by XKCD's Randall Munroe. The science-inspiring missive was reviewed by El Reg here, now read Munroe's answer to the question of how much force Yoda really has ...

Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK

Fanbois in Britain who rushed to buy Apple's iPhone 6 Plus on Friday apparently triggered a delay in shipments.
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Sep 2014
Stonehenge from the north east

Stonehenge's HUMAN ABATTOIR was just a prehistoric Burning Man hippyfest site

CoTW Comment of the Week: In which Vulture Central's very own backroom gremlins award you, dear readers, the Golden Vulture Dropping of Hilarity and the Wooden Twig of Fail for your inane witterings scintillating nuggets of wisdom.
Gareth Corfield, 13 Sep 2014
Angry woman on mobile

Misery for Virgin Media mobe customers over mysterious 'EE data centre gaffe'

An unknown number of Virgin Media customers, who have been complaining about a shocking mobile service for at least the past fortnight, are being asked to wait for EE to resolve a technical blunder at its data centre.
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Sep 2014

The Apple Watch and CROTCH RUBBING. How are they related?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? We would know when Peter had scored the night before because he’d walk into the office rubbing his crotch. The “lucky” girl to have been the subject of his special favours would invariably trot in a few paces behind, beaming smugly at her colleagues.
Alistair Dabbs, 13 Sep 2014

Starship Troopers beat Aliens, Robots AND Chuck Norris to WIN in a FIGHT

Weekend Big Data The Big Data has spoken, and has answered the Great Question of pub/water-cooler debate: Who Would Win In A Fight?
Lewis Page, 13 Sep 2014
Total Recall outside on Mars scene

Read The Gods of War for every tired cliche you never wanted to see in a sci fi book

Page File Prepare yourself for a book that’s so exactly like a late-90s Steven Seagal movie, it’s uncanny. The Gods of War is every action movie cliché you’ve ever known, carefully caught, collected and pressed between the pages of a book about Earth’s imminent destruction and the prospect of Mars as a lifeboat. There’s something compelling and fatalistic about this book that drags you from word to word and page to page, grimacing all the way because it’s… just… so… bad, but you can’t look away.
Tim Cook as Miss Havisham

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

Despite Apple cofounder Steve Jobs being dead nearly three years now, current Apple CEO Tim Cook has left Jobs' fourth-floor office at Apple untouched since his passing, a new interview has revealed.
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014

Net neutrality fans' joy as '2.3 million email' flood hits US Congress

This week's internet slowdown protest has been, as one might expect, declared a roaring success by its organizers, after US watchdog the FCC was once again forced to change its comment policy under a deluge of opinions.
Shaun Nichols, 13 Sep 2014
Rutger Hauer

Super Cali goes ballistic, Uber Pool is bogus: Ride sharing biz is illegal in the state, says regulator

The California Public Utilities Commission (CPUC) has warned Lyft, Sidecar, and Uber that their ride-sharing services are technically illegal under the state's licensing laws.
Iain Thomson, 13 Sep 2014
ipod u2 edition

Not pro Bono: Apple's audio junk mail made spammers' lives easier

Comment Apple's decision to push a new album by Irish boy band U2 into the iCloud libraries of millions isn't just egregious. It arguably plays into the hands of scammers.
John Leyden, 13 Sep 2014
Gartner SSA CC Overall Scores

Gartner ranks upstart trio ahead of EMC, HP and IBM in battle for flash array dominance

Gartner’s thrilling solid-state appliance critical capabilities report ranks three startups ahead of EMC, HP and IBM: SolidFire, Pure Storage and Kaminario.
Chris Mellor, 13 Sep 2014