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The Week in Summary

sea_hp_sink

HP biz split latest: 'I'm excited!' says CEO as investors exchange nervous looks

HP performed about as well as the analysts expected for the fourth quarter of its fiscal 2014, which is to say it was another difficult quarter that put the cap on what has been a trying year for the tarnished tech titan.
Neil McAllister, 26 Nov 2014
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Toshiba Australia recalls combustible laptop power cords

Toshiba Australia has issued a recall notice for the power cored it supplied with laptops sold in Australia between 1st September 2010 and 30th June 2012.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
Adobe security

Second time's a charm: Adobe has another go at killing Flash hijack bug

Ready to kick back and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday? Can't wait to open your advent calendar? Not so fast, there's one more patch to install before the month is over.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014

NSA SOURCE CODE LEAK: Information slurp tools to appear online

The NSA has decided to let the public have a peek at what it's been up to, for a change, by promising to release some of its data analysis tools under an open-source license.
Neil McAllister, 25 Nov 2014
Sony PSP Vita
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FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Sony will dish out cash and vouchers to PlayStation Vita gamers following allegations its ads for the handheld console were lies.
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
The European flag
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Dawn raids on Orange over TROMBONING allegations were fine, rules EU court

The European Commission was perfectly entitled to conduct dawn raids against Orange, according to the EU General Court.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
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KCOM Group results hit by Phones4U woes

Brit telco and tech services playa KCOM Group has kickstarted a cost-cutting programme to counter a wobbly top and bottom line, not helped by the collapse of Phone4You and slower than expected PSN demand.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014

Mysterious BEAM outside London Googleplex ZAPPED

Workmen are digging up the spot outside Google's London headquarters where a mysterious "beam" once made pedestrians' hair stand on end.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
SanDisk_PCIe-SSA_detail

SanDisk vows: We'll have a 16TB SSD WHOPPER by 2016

Intel is well behind the curve with its 10TB flash drive, slated for 2016, claims a SanDisk enterprise storage bigwig, adding that the flash memory storage provider will have a 16TB drive by then.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014

Soz Europe: IBM to delay System X Lenovo switchover for a month

IBM says it has delayed the European switchover of the outgoing x86 business to Lenovo by one month in a bid to side-step sales disruption in its busiest quarter of the year.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014

C'mon, Brocade: QLogic's left the Fibre Channel game. Flat revenues again?

Analysis Brocade is a member of the flat revenue Earth society, with its mix of annual and quarterly Fibre Channel and Ethernet revenues hardly changing between last year and this year.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014
Motorola StarTac
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Lenovo: We'll say HELLO MOTO to profits in 18 months

Lenovo is looking to do for Motorola mobiles what it did for the IBM Thinkpad, kicking life into the products and making the company profitable.
Simon Rockman, 25 Nov 2014
Violin array flash cards

Don't fret: Flash array fiddler Violin sees revenue rise, losses dip

Violin has recorded rising revenues and lessening losses for its third quarter as the new CEO gets the flash array company barking louder in the data centre flash array dogfight.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014

EU-Canada airline passenger data-sharing is not a done deal

A European deal to share airline travellers’ personal information with Canada could be chucked out after MEPs asked the ECJ to intervene.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
netflix

Sacre vache! Netflix ne parle pas le Frenchy ... zat is against ze LAW

Netflix's seeming inability to parle Francais has landed the US video giant in trouble.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014

South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

An anonymous South Londoner has been named as the winner of a pseudo lottery designed to (hopefully) make one Reddit user a millionaire.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
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Phoenix IT Group CEO: Turnarounds don't happen overnight

The turnaround at Phoenix IT Group initiated by CEO Steve Vaughan was never going to happen overnight and the latest set of declining half-year numbers for the period ended September are testament to that point.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014
Our Playmonaut celebrates with a brace of blondes

El Reg reanimates Cash'n'Carrion merchandising tentacle

We're pleased to announce that we've reanimated our merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion, so Reg fans can once again get a fix of top-notch Vulture Central kit.
Lester Haines, 25 Nov 2014
The MSN Santa (unconfirmed)

Amazon’s CHRISTMAS QUEUEING bonanza!

Amazon is giving the Royal Mail a leg up this Christmas by agreeing to allow folks to pick up parcels at their local post office.
channel_teaser_money_top
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Hungry Advanced Computer Software gets swallowed for £725m

Acquisition-hungry Advanced Computer Software (ACS) has itself been acquired by private equity firm Vista for £725m.
Kat Hall, 25 Nov 2014

MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for TERRORISM'

A Parliamentary report into the murder of off-duty British soldier Lee Rigby by Muslim extremists last year has pointed the finger of blame squarely at "the major US Communications Service Providers", saying that the only organisation which could have prevented the attack was one such internet-media giant.
Lewis Page, 25 Nov 2014

Samsung to boot out Shin after Galaxy S5 tanks – report

Sales of the Galaxy S5 have so disappointed Samsung that it is reportedly looking at ousting mobile boss JK Shin and parachuting in appliances and telly tsar BK Yoon – who would oversee mobiles as well as his existing remit.
Simon Rockman, 25 Nov 2014
VNX-F with 120-slot DAE
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EMC upgrading all-flash VNX with bigger SSD and drive box

Comment EMC's VNX-F range of all-flash VNX arrays will soon scale up to 172TB of usable capacity, with a less than $5/GB cost, using a new drive enclosure and higher-capacity drives.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014
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NEWSFLASH: You may ALREADY have seen Steve Jobs' willy

He's an actor with one of the most famous penises in Hollywood. Now the notoriously well-endowed superstar Michael Fassbender is set to play the tech world's "biggest dick": Steve Jobs.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
Orange Credit Card

Bank of England: What's all this then, CHAPS? Review to get a grip on IT cockup

The Bank of England has opened an investigation into the IT failure of its bank-to-bank payment processing system, which handles £277bn a day.
Kat Hall, 25 Nov 2014
Guinevere gets a clean

Suffering satellites! Goonhilly's ARTHUR REBORN for SPAAAACE

Geek's Guide to Britain Big data? Pah. Arthur is big hardware. He weighs in at 1,118 tonnes, has a diameter of 25.9 metres and is 52 years old. From his home, a high plateau on Cornwall’s remote Lizard peninsula – as far south as you can go on the island of Great Britain without falling off – he has played his part in Space Age history, appropriate given he resembles one of its rockets in scale and riveting style.
SA Mathieson, 25 Nov 2014
World of Warcraft: Orcs and Humans

World of Warcraft then and now: From Orcs and Humans to Warlords of Draenor

Antique Code Show As The Dark Portal opens in the new World of Warcraft expansion Warlords of Draenor, and all manner of beasties descend upon Orgrimmar, Stormwind and Ashran, I think it’s about time to revisit the RTS game that spawned the franchise, Warcraft: Orcs and Humans.
Lucy Orr, 25 Nov 2014

Whistling Google: PLEASE! Brussels can only hurt Europe, not us

+Analysis A few days ago President Obama wrote a cheque he knew he couldn’t cash - and this week the European Parliament will write another.
Andrew Orlowski, 25 Nov 2014
Pre-teen sysadmin on the Disney show Shake it Up
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Social misfits and group interviews: Yup, it's the startup interview circuit

A lot of people have either worked with or know someone who worked at a startup. Lots have good experiences while some have bad experiences – and they have the scars to prove it. Their stories are funny, odd and sometimes downright weird.
Stuart Burns, 25 Nov 2014
ITU logo

And the award for the world's most tech-savvy country goes to …

The International Telecommunications Union (ITU) has issued its annual Measuring the Information Society report and found that Denmark is the world's most technologically-developed nation.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
European Union Flag
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Ex-EU digi supremo Steelie Neelie's net neutrality bid in tatters?

Former EU digital tzar Neelie Kroes’ net neutrality plans for the Continent may be chucked out by national governments.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
Rickmote
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Who's been writing in my apps? Googlilocks builds new apps-tracker

Google has bolstered the security of its Apps platform with new reports providing insight into the number of devices accessing the account over the past month.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
hand with thumb up

Disturbance in the force lets phones detect gestures with Wi-Fi

How would you like a phone that gives you gesture recognition - without needing to buy a new phone?
How TXTing stresses your spine

Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU

Medical boffins have codified two new gadget-derived diseases.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014

Stop the IoT revolution! We need to figure out packet sizes first

While the world gets excited about Internet-of-stuff saving people from the exhaustion that follows putting down a smartphone or using a remote control to adjust the thermostat, there's a bunch of research still needed to get more serious applications like sensor networks bedded down.

Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins

Vid After using a submersible robot to probe the frozen waters of Antarctica, climate and ecosystem scientists conclude its sea ice "may be thicker than previously thought."
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

No more lies, T-Mobile US: Download speed caps magically vanished on speed test websites

T-Mobile USA has agreed to stop twiddling with subscribers' mobile broadband speeds to hide the fact they were being capped.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
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Craigslist pushes punters to YouTube, hacker site

Craigslist is asking users to flush their DNS after one or more pranksters twice changed the DNS records of the popular flesh and furniture classifieds site so it redirects users to a website and video.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
troll

Anti-download biz sued for 'abusive' robo-call demands for money

Internet piracy hunter Rightscorp, which shakes down alleged copyright infringers for damages, has been accused of harassment, abuse and illegal debt collection.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
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New 'Internet Security Council' struggling to get off the ground

Plans for a new internet governance body are struggling to get off the ground after blowback from the internet community itself.
Kieren McCarthy, 25 Nov 2014
Cellular antenna. Source: Vxla/Flickr

Qualcomm joins Ericsson, Telstra in 450 Mbps LTE demo

Telstra has again demonstrated technology that will let lucky LTE users consume the entire 15 GB of its largest consumer post-paid broadband plan in less than 5 minutes.
Glorious future of China
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Huawei's and ZTE's SDN embrace: soft power in vendor-land

China's network hardware sector has taken another step into the world of openness with ZTE joining the Open Platform for NFV (OPNFV) project.
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Telcos spaff $36bn on gobbling Uncle Sam's radio frequencies for beefier cell coverage

US watchdog the FCC has raised at least US$36bn from telcos by auctioning off a load of radio frequencies for improving wireless broadband.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
The MSN Santa (unconfirmed)
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Google's elves work on Santa to rein(deer) in grinchware

Google's elves have been busy working on a toy for all the girls and boys who run Mac OS and worry about getting a virus.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
Hacked sarcasm

Sony Pictures in IT lock-down after alleged hacker hosing

Sony Pictures is investigating a breach that has seen hackers supposedly steal reams of internal data and splash defacements across staff computers. The company is now in lock-down as it wrestles with the problem.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014

Abbott scholarship leaker escapes conviction

Sydney whistleblower Freya Newman has been served a two-year good behaviour bond with no conviction after pleading guilty to illegally accessing and leaking documents about a scholarship awarded to the daughter of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
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How secure is Docker? If you're not running version 1.3.2, NOT VERY

A nasty vulnerability has been discovered in the Docker application containerization software for Linux that could allow an attacker to gain elevated privileges and execute code remotely on affected systems.
Neil McAllister, 25 Nov 2014
Apple iPad 3 aka new iPad
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Apple surges in on the BYOD wave

Apple has wowed consumers with its phone and tablet devices but this is not the only market to embrace its products. Enterprises are snapping up iPhones and iPads in ever increasing numbers.
Danny Bradbury, 24 Nov 2014
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100 IT workers face the axe at CSIRO

The Staff Association at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) reckons that among the nearly 900 jobs being cut from the science agency, IT and comms is to lose at least 119.

Google's Chrome to pull plug on plugins next September

Google is moving ahead with its plan to end support for Netscape plugins in its Chrome browser – and has set next September as the date for when they will stop working altogether.
Neil McAllister, 24 Nov 2014
Malware image

Regin: The super-spyware the security industry has been silent about

A public autopsy of sophisticated intelligence-gathering spyware Regin is causing waves today in the computer security world.
Iain Thomson, 24 Nov 2014
Satya Nadella speaking at a Microsoft cloud event

US taxmen won't say WHY they're probing Microsoft. So Redmond is suing the IRS

The US Internal Revenue Service has been digging into Microsoft's tax records from 2004 through 2009, and Redmond has filed a lawsuit against the government to find out why.
Neil McAllister, 24 Nov 2014

Woman who stung Tinder with sex-pest sueball stings again – with rival Bumble app

A Tinder cofounder who sued the upstart for sexual harassment will launch a competing dating app called Bumble next month.
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Nov 2014
X-wing and Y-wing starfighters of the Rebel Alliance approaching the Death Star

Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs

Pics and video SpaceX boss Elon Musk has been showing off steerable wings on his company's Falcon rocket booster – and a floating landing pad to catch the reusable craft out at sea.
Iain Thomson, 24 Nov 2014
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Mega GP tech services framework badge awarded

Insight UK and Phoenix IT Group are flying the flag for mainstream tech suppliers after scoring a seat on the mammoth General Practice Systems of Choice (GPSoC) framework.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
Kinetic Terascale

Belgian upstart to 'bridge gap' between object, block storage. Or that’s the plan at least

Interview Belgian startup incubator Cloudfounders is working to have a pool of Seagate Kinetic drives provide block storage for virtual machines, as traditional object storage can't cope? Er, what gives?
Chris Mellor, 24 Nov 2014

Google dodges 'costly' legal precedent, settles Daniel Hegglin case

Google has avoided a costly legal precedent by settling out of court in an online abuse case due to be heard in the High Court today, legal experts have said.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014
nina

Huawei Enterprise UK helmsman Poskett sails off to Dell

Texan tech baron Dell has poached the boss of Huawei Enterprise UK, Dave Poskett, as deputy head of one of its Blighty-based divisions.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
iPhone that fell from 13,500 feet (source: CNN)

iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple

Tech analyst Ming-Chi Kuo has predicted Apple will face a grim start to 2015 with iPhone sales plummeting by up to a third.
Jasper Hamill, 24 Nov 2014
BT Openreach van

Mighty Blighty broadbanders beg: Let us lay cable in BT's, er, ducts

Updated Blighty's broadband providers are once again at Ofcom to do something about the alleged monopoly they believe former national telco BT maintains in the business broadband sector.

New Snapchat Snapcash service inspires amateur PORN STARS

The advent of Snapchat's new mobile micropayments system, Snapcash, has spawned a new business sector: users who are keen to get paid in cold hard cash for their amateur porn efforts.
Jasper Hamill, 24 Nov 2014
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/
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HDS, HP leapfrog NetApp in the land of the MAGIC QUADRANT

The gnomic Gartnerites have promoted HDS and HP over NetApp in their 2014 general purpose array magic quadrant, with an explanation of the concept given here.
Chris Mellor, 24 Nov 2014

New job in 2015? The Reg guide to getting out and moving on

Official stats show the British economy is recovering, with a huge demand for tech jobs across the board, and the storm of outsourcing and offshoring seen over the last few years now abating. Even those in Whitehall are hiring, bringing back in-house the planning and execution smarts they previously let go.
Rachel Willcox, 24 Nov 2014
O2 XDA Argon

BT in talks to RE-SLURP O2 after spitting it out a decade ago

BT could be the new owner of Blighty mobe network O2 if talks with Spanish parent Telefonica go well.
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Logicalis splits with UK sales director Brooker after five months

After less than five months on the job Logicalis sales director Tony Brooker has left the Slough-based integrator, sources have told The Channel.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
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Bubble-licious: Good times here again for UK tech startups – research

The level of venture capitalist (VC) investment being pumped into UK and Irish tech companies is now "reminiscent" of the early 2000s, with funding for the third quarter of 2014 double that of a year ago, according to research.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

We have a winner! Fresh Linux Mint 17.1 – hands down the best

Review Linux Mint 17.1 is the first example of what the Mint project team can do when they're focused on their own system rather than on making the latest Ubuntu work with Mint.

Let's vote on breaking up Google, say MEPs with NO power to do any such thing

On Thursday this week, the European Parliament will vote on whether to break up ad and internet giants such as Google ... even though it has no real power to do so.
Jennifer Baker, 24 Nov 2014

HTML5 vs native: Harry Coder and the mudblood mobile app princes

HTML5 has offered salvation from the tyranny of apps for years, yet most mobile developers resolutely refuse to embrace the web. Despite HTML’s familiarity and promise of cross-device compatibility, native’s superior tooling and performance have convinced a generation of developers to go all in on native.
Matt Asay, 24 Nov 2014
The full Expedition 42 crew aboard the ISS
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We come bearing caviar: ISS 'nauts arrive at station in SPAAACE

The latest members of the International Space Station's crew have arrived on board – and they come bearing gifts.
Cellular basestation antenna
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IBM and Ericsson plot to deploy 5G. Never mind that it doesn't exist

Ericsson and IBM have announced a collaboration to jointly research phased-array antenna designs for 5G, which might prove interesting as nothing has yet been agreed on what 5G might involve.
Simon Rockman, 24 Nov 2014
management regulation1

Businessman takes Google to High Court to block online abuse from search results

The case of former Morgan Stanley banker Daniel Hegglin, who is attempting to compel Google to block anonymous abusive posts against him, opened in the High Court today.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Wannabe Bond villains who'd been planning a world-domination strategy involving sharks armed with a frikkin' lasers should be aware that Wicked Lasers has announced it's withdrawing its "horrendously dangerous" handheld death rays.
Lester Haines, 24 Nov 2014
Lenovo Yoga 2 13

Too 4K-ing expensive? Five full HD laptops for work and play

Product round-up The intense competition in the PC market means that you can now get some pretty decent laptops for less than £500. However, one common cost-cutting measure employed by most budget laptops is the use of a lower-res display – typically just 1366x768 pixels. Most likely these displays will still be called HD in the blurb, but that’s that because these panels easily accommodate 720p video – 1280 x 720 pixel resolution.
Cliff Joseph, 24 Nov 2014
AWS
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Shaking that AAS: It's time for vendors to stop selling storage

Storagebod In the shower today, I thought back over a number of meetings with storage vendors I’ve had over the past couple of weeks. Almost without exception, they mentioned AWS and the other large cloud vendors as a major threat and compared their costs to them.
StorageBod, 24 Nov 2014
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Gov.UK annual IT spend edges down... to £4.3 BEEELLION

Government IT costs edged down by 8.5 per cent across the nine biggest Whitehall spenders to £4.3bn for 2013/14 compared with the previous year.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Security software outfit Avast are trying to figure out why the combination of recent Windows patches and updates to the latter company's software are breaking PCs.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
NASA's new Europa photo

NASA revisits Europa with modern image-processing software

NASA has re-issued a famous image of Jovian moon Europa, after subjecting it to “modern image processing techniques” for the first time.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
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Sony quietly POODLE-proofs Playstations

Sony has patched the POODLE SSL vulnerability in its Playstation 3 and 4 gaming consoles.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
france
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Brit mobile firms in FOURPLAY TUSSLE – how very French of them

About 10 years ago, Faultline wrote a report on the economics of quad play. We hardly sold any (about 20), and the reason was, one of our resellers told us, was that “quad play” was old hat.
Faultline, 24 Nov 2014

'Regin': The 'New Stuxnet' spook-grade SOFTWARE WEAPON described

A highly advanced malware instance said to be as sophisticated as the famous Stuxnet and Duqu has has been detected. "Regin" has security researchers opining it may be nastier than both.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
Concept pic of the Intermediate eXperimental Vehicle during re-entry. Credit: ESA

ESA's spaceplane cleared for lift-off in February 2015

Arianespace has put the launch of its IXV spaceplane back on the schedule, announcing a February 2015 date for the flight.

Cloud unicorns are extinct so DiData cloud mess was YOUR fault

Last July, Dimension Data's Australian cloud went down for over 24 hours. Now the company says its assessment of the incident found those who suffered the most had themselves to blame, to a degree.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
padlock
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Crypto protocols held back by legacy, says ENISA

The EU Agency for Network Information and Security (ENISA) has updated its 2013 crypto guidelines, designed to help developers protect personal information in line with EU law, and has sternly told crypto designers they're doing it wrong, in two reports released late last week.
WordPress

DEATH by COMMENTS: WordPress XSS vuln is BIGGEST for YEARS

An estimated 86 per cent of WordPress websites harbour a dangerous cross-site scripting (XSS) hole in the popular comment system plugin, in what researcher Jouko Pynnonen calls the most serious flaw in five years. The bug could provide a pathway for attacking visitors' machines.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence
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Turnbull: Box-huggers are holding back cloud

Dimension Data has announced it will soon offer a government-only cloud hosted in Australia's capital city, Canberra.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
cloud
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OIF and ONF to co-operate on standards

The Optical Internetworking Forum (OIF) has started work on APIs for the software-defined networking era.
Sandworm vulnerability logo
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SandWorm thrived thanks to botched MSFT patch says HP

Microsoft had a chance to crush the SandWorm bug before it crawled out of the dunes, but botched the job, says HP.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Nov 2014

Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Poll Vulture Weekend brings you this poll, after Reg reader Cassie got in touch to tell us about a really neat timeline depicting the evolution of robots in film.
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
Google and Microsoft

Frisky patent WAR: Samsung seeks to BLOCK Nvidia graphics chips from US market

Samsung Electronics's battle with chip maker Nvidia deepened on Friday, after the South Korean outfit filed a complaint with the US International Trade Commission.
Team Register, 23 Nov 2014
Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) in The Fifth Element
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The Genome: Loose morals ... and even looser plotlines

Page File The Genome is the latest novel from Sergei Lukyanenko, the sci-fi and fantasy author, and now modern Russian figurehead for the genre since his Night Watch novel was made into one of the few Russian movies to cross over to Western blockbuster status.
Files

'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

IP address-matching powers for police and spooks are to be pushed through Parliament with the blessing of the junior member of the UK's Coalition government, after the Liberal Democrats claimed today that the Snoopers' Charter was "dead".
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

Everything your users ever need to know about BYOD

Back in the old days providing your employees with corporate computer equipment was an expensive business. When I was 19 I was the university holidays PC guy in an office full of RPG III developers; the fact that they thought their System/38 with its 5250 terminals was a pretty neat piece of kit was the only reason they didn't envy the spanking new IBM PS/2 Model 80 under my desk.
Dave Cartwright, 23 Nov 2014
Dyson DC58 Animal

Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners

Product round-up The DIY market for power drills cracked going cordless years ago, but for domestic heavyweights such as an affordable vacuum cleaner, tripping over a six-metre mains cable has been a weekend tradition for most UK households. Really, how much R&D does it take to get a good cordless vacuum cleaner? Is the wait over yet? El Reg's domestic goddess Jennifer Newton finds out.
Jennifer Newton, 23 Nov 2014
Toilet

The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS

This is an article that some readers, particularly those of a fainter-hearted disposition, might want to avoid. It’s about a big movement that some people might find a tad distasteful.
heart.germany

Get a job in Germany – where most activities are precursors to drinking

The eXpat files In Germany, employers are keen on certifications, the money's good and if you want to, you can spend weekends rolling wheels down country lanes.
Darren Pauli, 23 Nov 2014

BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity

Worstall @ the Weekend I often wonder why it is that people bother publishing “research” papers that are obviously incorrect. Is it that they're getting paid to spout bollocks?
Tim Worstall, 23 Nov 2014
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Culture CLASH: Wuzhen Declaration spurned at World Internet Conference in China

Analysis As you might expect, China's first global internet conference was a particularly Chinese affair.
Kieren McCarthy, 22 Nov 2014

Pitchfork-wielding villagers hunt hairy shapeshifters in One Night Ultimate Werewolf

Board game review El Reg contributor Adam Fowler brings to these pages the first in what may become a series of board game reviews. Here, Adam dices with furry beasts in One Night Ultimate Werewolf. Watch out!
Adam Fowler, 22 Nov 2014
Plate of bryndzové halušky

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bryndzové halušky

It's onwards and eastwards this week with our post-pub nosh neckfiller as we travel to Slovakia in search of bryndzové halušky.
Lester Haines, 22 Nov 2014
Vladislav (Jemaine Clement) in What We Do In The Shadows
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What We Do In The Shadows? Laugh ourselves silly, mostly

Film Review It’s hard to believe that What We Do In The Shadows has been eight years in the making, given its spot-on, bang-up-to-date parody of both the vampire obsession and found footage/fake documentary style movies.
London BMW 5-Series police car

UK's non-emergency police and NHS Vodafone systems go titsup NATIONWIDE

Updated Britain's non-emergency telephone numbers for the police (101) and the NHS (111) have collapsed nationwide.
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Nov 2014

Yahoo! blames! MONSTER! email! OUTAGE! on! CUT! CABLE! bungle!

Yahoo! has apologised to customers, some of whom have been unable to access their email accounts since Thursday, after an underwater fibre cable was mistakenly severed.
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Nov 2014
Uber - living the dream
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Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM

¡Bong! Extra Why can’t Old Media just accept we have it beaten, lie down and die? It’s taking forever. Nothing saddened me more this week than reading that bold new data journalism initiatives from Uber were being shot down before they had even reached Seed stage.
Steve Bong, 22 Nov 2014
Ease of access is the BMAX's main party trick

Ford's B-Max: Fiesta-based runaround that goes THUNK

Vulture at the Wheel This is the most sensible car you can buy. That's not necessarily a good thing. The Ford B-Max takes all the things you’d look for in practicality and turns them up to 11. However, in doing so it turns emotion down to zero.
Simon Rockman, 22 Nov 2014
Trouble in Paradise

Pervert's Guide man's new book, an urban myths tome and Youth, an underrated gem

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston trawls through at publishing's top notch texts. Bad boy philosopher Slavoj Žižek puts Russell Brand in the shade with his latest cultural critique, while urban mythmeister Jan Harold Brunvand has revised his entertaining and enduring tome that's a goldmine for comedians and sketch writers alike. And we've a new translation of German literary great, Wolfgang Koeppen.
Mark Diston, 22 Nov 2014
Star Trek: Patterns of Force
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'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT

QuoTW This was the week when hacktivist collective Anonymous decided to take on the Ku Klux Klan after a local chapter of the white supremacist group threatened protesters in Ferguson, Missouri.

I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Why are Volvos called Volvos? Because their drivers are cunts.”
Alistair Dabbs, 22 Nov 2014
Kernels

Leaked screenshots show next Windows kernel to be a perfect 10

Microsoft surprised us by upping its Windows product numbering from 8.1 straight to 10, and now it appears it's planning to make an even greater leap in the version numbering of the Windows kernel itself.
Neil McAllister, 22 Nov 2014
management strategy3

HP boss Meg Whitman shuffles exec pawns just before biz splits

HP CEO Meg Whitman has outlined a management re-org to steer the business toward an eventual split into two separate Fortune 50 firms, according to an internal memo seen by El Chan.
Paul Kunert, 22 Nov 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos
6

Judge OKs $450m deal to end ebook price-hike row. But Apple just won't let it die

A Manhattan judge has finally approved Apple's settlement in its long-running ebook price-fixing lawsuit: $400m will go to readers who paid over the odds, and $50m will go to the lawyers suing the iTunes Giant.
Iain Thomson, 22 Nov 2014
Firefox ad 2nd St SF 2011

Mozilla remembers 2013. Y'know, back when it still gobbled at the Google money-trough

The Mozilla Foundation has released its annual financial statement for 2013, and the numbers raise important questions about Mozilla's future, now that it has ended its longstanding funding relationship with Google.
Neil McAllister, 21 Nov 2014
The European flag

Europe may ask Herr Google: Would you, er, snap off your search engine? Pretty please

The European Parliament will reportedly consider pressuring, say, ad giant Google to snap off its search engine and move it away from its biz operations.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014

First in line to order a Nexus 6? AT&T has a BRICK for you

Motorola has issued a recall for an early batch of its hotly anticipated new Nexus 6 smartphones that were sold through US mobile carrier AT&T, owing to a software glitch that can reportedly causes the devices to boot to a black screen.
Neil McAllister, 21 Nov 2014
Max Headroom

Amazon warming up 'cheapo web video' cannon to SINK Netflix

Amazon is preparing an online video-streaming service that will be stuffed with ads – and undercut rivals Netflix and Hulu Plus, it has been reported.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Nov 2014
Pigeon crapping on statue

That's all folks! US TV streaming upstart Aereo files for bankrupcy

It's the end of the line for the TV streaming biz Aereo: it has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and appointed a chief restructuring officer to extract some remaining value from its assets.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014

It's 2014 and people are willing to blow $6.8m on things like Z.com

Z.com has been sold for $6.8m (£4.3m, 800m yen) to Japanese domain biz GMO Registry, putting it in the top ten of all-time domain name sales.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Nov 2014
Money image

Google Contributor: Ad-block killer – or proof NO ONE will pay for news?

Google has offered to charge people a monthly subscription fee to read articles and gawp at photos online.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Nov 2014
Toshiba Betamax and VHS video recorder ad

HACKERS can DELETE SURVEILLANCE DVRS remotely – report

DVR systems from Hikvision have vulnerabilities that open the door to hacking, security researchers have warned.
John Leyden, 21 Nov 2014

All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Next week punters travelling between Bristol and Bath will be able to ride on a bus ultimately powered by human poo, the first ever such service in the UK.
Kat Hall, 21 Nov 2014
axe_channel_teaser
4

IBM lifts axe, will trim UK workforce weeks before Chrimbo

With only weeks to go before the good folk of Blighty sit down to tuck into their Chrimbo dinners, IBM has decided to swing the corporate axe to trim the local workforce.
Paul Kunert, 21 Nov 2014

Beware Brit cops bearing battering rams. Four nabbed over Trojan claims

British cops have arrested four people suspected of using Trojans to illegally take control of computers.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Nov 2014
1

Former Systemax execs charged over $9m fraud, tax evasion

The Feds have now charged ex-Systemax senior exec Gilbert Fiorentino, following on from his brother and former colleague Carl, with allegedly perpetrating fraud to the tune of millions of dollars as well as evading tax.
Paul Kunert, 21 Nov 2014

Windows Phone will snatch biz No 2 spot from Android – analyst

Android for business is under threat from Microsoft, claims CCS Insight. The Chocolate company’s mobile OS will fall out of favour as the top alternative to Apple, says VP of Enterprise research Nick McQuire.
Simon Rockman, 21 Nov 2014

CIA crypto-king offers new 'clock' clue to crack Kryptos code

The man who built a cryptographic sculpture for the CIA has provided a second clue to help crack its infamously difficult code.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Nov 2014
A Seagate Central enclosure disassembled

The cloud that goes puff: Seagate Central home NAS woes

It is “your personalised cloud” says the puff for the Seagate Central NAS. “All your videos, music, photos and documents stored on one device.”
Tim Anderson, 21 Nov 2014

Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers

Comment Two highly qualified Google engineers who have spent years studying and trying to improve renewable energy technology have stated quite bluntly that renewables will never permit the human race to cut CO2 emissions to the levels demanded by climate activists. Whatever the future holds, it is not a renewables-powered civilisation: such a thing is impossible.
Lewis Page, 21 Nov 2014

Glasgow boffins: We can now do it, Captain. We DO have the molecular storage power

If the number of electrons on flash storage is getting too few for reliability then use molecules for bit storage instead, and that's exactly what Glasgow uni boffins have gone and done it.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014
How to track her indoors
9

In a mall at the weekend? WORSE STILL, are you LOST?

A new indoor positioning system has been unveiled by Bluetooth grandees Cambridge Silicon Radio. The system consists of Android middleware which gives access to a database of indoor positions.
Simon Rockman, 21 Nov 2014
Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy book cover
6

Who is out there waiting to spy on you or steal your data?

The growth rate of digital attacks continues to alarm. According to PwC’s Global State of Information Security Survey 2015, the number of reported incidents rose by 48 per cent this year to 42.8 million, the equivalent of 117,339 attacks a day.
Tom Brewster, 21 Nov 2014
grab_that_cash

We're not, er, 'cut-throat' capitalists – VC formerly known as ISIS

Not wanting to be confused with the vicious band of Middle Eastern warmongerers, ISIS Equity Partners has killed off its old brand, and is now answering the phones as Living Bridge.
Paul Kunert, 21 Nov 2014
Hacker image

DoubleDirect hackers snaffle fandroid and iPhone-strokers' secrets

Hackers are running “Man-in-the-Middle” attacks (MitM) against smartphones using a new attack technique, security researchers warn.
John Leyden, 21 Nov 2014

BEST EVER broadband? Oh no you DIDN'T, Sky – ad watchdog

The telecoms giant formerly known as BSkyB has been ordered to remove a "best ever" broadband ad after rival BT claimed it was "misleading".
Kat Hall, 21 Nov 2014
Uber - living the dream

'How a censorious and moralistic blogger ruined my evening'

So you’re at an Uber-hosted dinner for New York media high-rollers, and the Uber exec - Emil Michael, senior VP for business - you’re talking to goes off on one, suggesting he could hire a million dollar team to dig up dirt on hostile journalists and their families. What do you do? This - apparently - depends on who you are.
John Lettice, 21 Nov 2014
BioWare – Dragon Age: Inquisition

Dragon Age Inquisition: Our chief weapons are...

Game Theory Well done Bioware, you've obviously resisted any Borg-like assimilation into EA and have listened closely to the criticisms of Dragon Age II and it’s claustrophobic narrative. Suddenly, I’m feeling good about starting my epic RPG battle with rebellious mages and old gods. I’m in this game for the long haul.
Lucy Orr, 21 Nov 2014
channel_teaser_exit
1

Computacenter UK boss Muller: Happy New Year, folks... I'm off

Six potential candidates are in the running to replace Computacenter’s outgoing UK managing director Neil Muller, who has resigned but remains on board until the end of January.
Paul Kunert, 21 Nov 2014
SolidFire_rack

SolidFire pipes Nitrogen OS 7 into all-flash hardware

SolidFire’s seventh-generation OS for its all-flash arrays introduces incremental improvements in multi-tenancy and data protection.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014

Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Comment Data analysts don’t need philosophers to help them with ethical decisions - the “science” can figure that out, a top boffin said this week.
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Nov 2014
IMTF flash

Intel offers ingenious piece of 10TB 3D NAND chippery

IMTF, Intel Micron Flash Technologies, a partnership between Intel and Micron, has a 3D MLC NAND technology, which will be used to build 10TB SSDs in two years.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014
Police outside 10 Downing Street. Credit: zongo

Home Office: It's an EMERGENCY! We need proper comms

The Home Office is seeking suppliers for its Emergency Services Network contract, part of moves to replace the incumbent gaffe-prone £2.9bn Airwave contract due to expire in 2016.
Kat Hall, 21 Nov 2014
HP cloud
3

HP, Symantec PAIR UP to fight off disaster cloud rivals

HP and Symantec are partnering to develop a cloud-based Disaster Recovery as a Service (DRaaS) offering using Symantec software and HP's Helion cloud.
Chris Mellor, 21 Nov 2014

FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

Data Journalism* The BMI-fuelled "obesity epidemic" bandwagon continues to rumble along, with the latest ridiculous report claiming that swingbellies are now twice as serious a menace to human prosperity as climate change.
Lewis Page, 21 Nov 2014
corset

George.Best walks into a sex.bar, spots a bearded dwarf sysadmin and thinks: Warcraft.cool

Nearly 10 million locked-away domain names will be set free and go on sale over the next two months.
Kieren McCarthy, 21 Nov 2014
By Frank Wouters, licensed under CC 2.0

Hey, it's ... Gecko man, Gecko man, does almost whatever a GECKO can

Vid A graduate student at Stanford has successfully climbed a 3.7-metre glass wall using a pair of super-sticky gloves modeled on the feet of gecko lizards.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014

Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie FIRED in three-way fsck row

Toy giant Mattel has withdrawn from sale its painfully sexist Barbie book I Can Be A Computer Engineer after a storm of protest.
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014
A map of Europe's solar potential
5

Young Germans: PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT a digital STARTUP

Most young Germans do NOT want to work for a digital start up.
Jennifer Baker, 21 Nov 2014
Paypal vulnerability
1

PayPal takes 18 months to patch critical remote code execution hole

Paypal has closed a remote code execution vulnerability some 18 months after it was reported.
Darren Pauli, 21 Nov 2014
View of the LHC tunnel sector 3 to 4

Hunt for Higgs Boson and dark matter now starts ON YOUR SOFA

If you're not too busy this weekend, why not sit down on your sofa and try to find a Higgs Boson or dark matter?
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
The Internet from the IT Crowd

The IT Crowd's internet in a box gets $240k of crowdcash for a cause

Back in February we reported on a crew called Outernet and its plan to float a network of tiny satellites to deliver internet access around the world and in the process “bypass censorship, ensure privacy, and offer a universally-accessible information service at no cost to global citizens.”
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014

GCHQ and Cable and Wireless teamed as Masters of the Internet™

Cable and Wireless provided UK intelligence agency GCHQ with access to the internet connections of millions of global users, going as far as to tap India's second largest telco, Snowden documents reveal.
Darren Pauli, 21 Nov 2014
4

Where the HELL is that Comcast technician? Finally – an app for that

US cable giant Comcast is offering some subscribers an app that tracks the whereabouts of its technicians before they arrive for a service appointment. So if you're waiting around for ages wondering where he or she is, there'll be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Nov 2014
Android logo
2

Google releases 'Divide' to conquer mobile devices, messaging

Google has quietly released something called “Divide”, the fruits of an acquisition it made back in May.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
One Windows: Windows 10 will be delivered on multiple device types
7

Roll up, roll up, Microsoft's rolled up dozens of OS fixes

Microsoft's just released its November rollup of product fixes to address issues that go back to April 2014.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Nov 2014
6

Citadel Trojan snooped on password managers to snatch victims' logins

Crooks have unsheathed a variant of the Citadel Trojan that targets password managers.
John Leyden, 21 Nov 2014
Assange

Assange™ slumps back on Ecuador's sofa after detention appeal binned

Ensconced WikiLeaker Julian Assange™ doesn't look to be leaving his hideout in Ecuador's London embassy anytime soon – a Swedish appeals court has rejected his request to set aside the detention order filed against him in that country.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014
Android 5.0 "Lollipop"

Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop

People with Nexus 7 tablets say the latest major Android update – codenamed Lollipop – has slowed their slabs to a standstill. Google said today it is investigating the matter.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Homer Simpson confronts rigged voting machine

E-vote won't happen for next Oz election

Australians won't have the chance to vote electronically any time soon, after a parliamentary committee put the idea on ice.

Google, Rockstar to bury zombie Nortel patent lawsuit

Google has reportedly laid to rest its long-running squabble with zombie patent supertroll Rockstar, although terms of the settlement were not disclosed.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014
6

First Congress, now top govt watchdog digs into ICANN's internet grab

It's not just US Senators digging into ICANN's takeover of the internet's control panel.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014

You'll go APE for our new Gorilla Glass 4, Corning reckons

Corning has unveiled the fourth iteration of its Gorilla Glass – and claims the new see-through substance is twice as damage resistant as its previous version. It's also much better at surviving drops onto hard surfaces, apparently.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
Uber logo
8

Uber bends over for internal privacy probe amid stalking claims

US Senator Al Franken (D-MN) has written to Uber demanding answers to questions about the car-hire upstart's interpretation of the word privacy.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Sean Connery in Dr. No

Privacy bods offer GOV SPY VICTIMS a FREE SPYWARE SNIFFER

Amnesty and Privacy International are offering a free-of-charge spyware detection tool designed to help journalists and human rights activists stay one step ahead of government surveillance.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
4

Euro digi chief 'H-dot' #twitterfail: 'My favourite app is the weather app'

It took Gunther H-dot Oettinger more than a month to follow his boss Andrus Ansip’s lead and take part in a live Twitter chat, so you might think he would prepare well and walk it. Well, you'd be wrong.
Jennifer Baker, 20 Nov 2014

Apple bitchslaps iPhone rival Xiaomi: World No 1? That's BIG TALK

Apple has declared war on its Chinese smartphone rival Xiaomi after execs from the two firms locked horns during a public event.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Nov 2014
Fraud image

Comet’s might-have-been saviour 'not paying biz debts'

Clive Coombes, the man who tried and failed to save the Comet brand, appears to be struggling to keep his existing business Lewisons Wholesale (LS) afloat, with supplier debts now mounting.
Paul Kunert, 20 Nov 2014
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/
4

Gartner mages: And the Enterprise Archiving Magic Quadrant top spot goes to...

There's a new magic quadrant out. Gartner has awarded top position in enterprise archiving to – wait for it – HP, with Symantec second. Next up are three firms few have heard and at sixth spot is CommVault, rounding out the leaders' box.
Chris Mellor, 20 Nov 2014

Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Apple’s "free" apps are "free" no more, thanks to the EU. Instead of clicking a button labelled with the word, fanbois must now select a button marked “get”.
Jennifer Baker, 20 Nov 2014

Pure: We've created the Everlasting Gobstopper of Storage – 'Forever Flash'

In recent months, as ever, we've seen a lot of "refreshments" on the storage scene. Violin Memory has refreshed its hardware and software. SolidFire and EMC XtremIO have refreshed their software. NetApp has introduced FlashRay, and Tegile and Skyera have introduced new all-flash arrays. And Pure Storage? It seems it has refreshed a support programme.
Chris Mellor, 20 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked

Downloading mobile apps from non-official sources has become a lot more dangerous over the last year, with apps now needing more built-in protection, according to a new report.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies

After USA FREEDOM Act's failure, what's next for mass surveillance?

Analysis This week the US Senate failed to get the required 60 votes to beat a Republican filibuster on the USA FREEDOM Act, which would have instituted mild controls on the bulk collection of communications data on American citizens.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014

Webcast: Managing identity to drive business

Register now to watch our webcast about why digital interaction with customers needs large-scale identity management and how it’s done.
David Gordon, 20 Nov 2014
Cern

CERN IT boss: What we do is not really that special

When the head of infrastructure services at CERN tells you that he has come to the conclusion that there’s nothing intrinsically “special” about the systems at the multi-billion atom-smasher, you naturally want to check you’ve heard correctly.
Joe Fay, 20 Nov 2014
4

Huawei: KRYDER STORAGE CRISIS is REAL and 'we’re working on it'

Huawei’s chief storage boffin says the company has looked at the looming crisis in storage technology with concern.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Nov 2014
6

A life of cybercrime, a caipirinha and a tan: Fraudsters love a Brazilian

Brazil is the only market that offers training services for cybercriminal wannabes, making it possible to start a new career in cybercrime for just $500.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon

Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k

The UK-backed attempt to crowdfund a mission to the Moon has got off to a roaring start, raising over a third of its £600,000 goal in just three days.
NUtanix logoi

Non-profit or charity? Win a data centre makeover from Nutanix

Promo Nutanix, possibly the world’s biggest startup, is offering $500,000 in data centre infrastructure to a non-profit or charity.
David Gordon, 20 Nov 2014
Photo by Heather Sorenson / sxc.hu

Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Too many people are leaving their internet-connected webcams wide open to silent perverts, the UK's privacy watchdog has warned.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Bus

All ABOARD! Furious Facebook bus drivers join Teamsters union

Facebook's shuttle bus drivers have voted to join the Teamsters union – as anger grows over the pay disparity between moneybags engineers and cash-strapped service workers.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Nov 2014
francis_maude_flames_evil

You think the CLOUD's insecure? It's BETTER than UK.GOV's DATA CENTRES

Doing business in the cloud is more secure than owning your own data centre, Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude has claimed.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
axe_channel_teaser

Oracle to axe over 450 jobs in Euro support centres – sources

Exclusive Oracle is rumoured to be closing all its European support centres with less than 100 staff - a move that could affect hundreds of employees.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
 Samsung Galaxy Note 4

Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled

Review My, but how time flies. It seems like only yesterday when The Reg called up and said: “Al, we’ve got this huge phone with a stylus from Samsung called the Galaxy Note. Fancy giving it a once over?” I don’t recall being that enthusiastic.
Alun Taylor, 20 Nov 2014

Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has identified "technical and security vulnerabilities" in its £284.9m central benefits payment system - responsible for underpinning the much-maligned Universal Credit programme and processing 13 million payments each week, The Register can reveal.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014

Giving mobile users the applications they want is child's play

Working on the move has become most people's normal way of operating. We are used to having our world in our pocket and being able to read and write emails, produce simple documents and generally stay in the corporate loop whether we are in the office, in the pub, on a train or (sadly) sitting on a beach trying to be on holiday.
Dave Cartwright, 20 Nov 2014

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

RBS, Natwest and Ulster Bank have today been hit with a £56m fine from regulators for their IT meltdowns in 2012.
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
Jennifer Pahlka

What should America turn to for web advice? That's right: GOV.UK – says ex-Obama IT guru

Analysis It's not the most obvious place you would expect a Silicon Valley-ite to point to as the future of the America, but Jennifer Pahlka is a big fan of the UK government's website.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014
Sign outside the National Security Agency HQ

Yet more NSA officials whisper of an internal revolt over US spying. And yet it still goes on

The NSA's snooping programs aren't just controversial to the public, it seems: we're reminded other staff at the US agency also objected to prying into Americans' phone records.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Nov 2014
Kill Captchas
1

CAPTCHA rapture as 'thousands' affected by seven year-old bug

A reflected cross site scripting flaw patched overnight may affect millions of websites due to a seven-year-old flaw in a jQuery validation plugin demo script used for CAPTCHA, Dutch penetration tester Sijmen Ruwhof says.
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014

Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP

The post via Tor (right) and what Aussies saw. © The Register
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014
blackmail

Hackers seize Detroit's database, demand $800k. Motor City shrugs: OK, take it

Hackers seized a database from the City of Detroit earlier this year before unsuccessfully demanding $800,000 in Bitcoin.
John Leyden, 20 Nov 2014
Satellite

Slapnav: Looking for KINKY dark matter? Switch on the GPS!

Although our ancestors would have been amazed by GPS technology for the current generation it's pretty old hat. Nevertheless, scientists have come up with a new idea for using the network of positioning satellites that encircle our globe – the quest to find dark matter.
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
Galaxy simulation

Astro-boffins start opening universe simulation data

The Illustris Project, a universe-scale simulation created in 2013 at MIT and unveiled in May 2014, is now offering its first data products as downloads for researchers.
Bittorrent Sync 2.0 screenshot

Bittorrent wants to sink Dropbox with Sync 2.0

Bittorrent is taking Sync out of beta with an alpha version of Sync 2.0.
The particle tube deconstructed at LHC

CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

Analysis of Large Hadron Collider data collected in 2011 and 2012 has turned up two new subatomic particles: a couple of baryons that are six times as massive as a proton.
Leaf
5

Greening the copper with NFV, lower power optics from GreenTouch

The GreenTouch group, which researches less power-hungry networking technologies, is pitching an NFV-style home gateway architecture as one way to curb broadband networks' appetite for electrons.
cloud

Extreme adds switches and partners

Extreme Networks has launched a quartet of switches and a management appliance, in what it says is an expansion of its software defined network (SDN) strategy.

GOTCHA: Google caught STRIPPING SSL from BT Wi-Fi users' searches

Google's "encryption everywhere" claim has been undermined by Mountain View stripping secure search functions for BT WiFi subscribers piggy-backing off wireless connections, sysadmin Alex Forbes has found.
Darren Pauli, 20 Nov 2014
Mozilla Firefox

Bada-Bing! Mozilla flips Firefox to YAHOO! for search

Mozilla will make Yahoo! the default search engine for Firefox in the US, ending its decade-long pact with Google. The new deal affects the open-source browser on the desktop and on mobile devices.
Neil McAllister, 20 Nov 2014

'Internet Freedom Panel' to keep web overlord ICANN out of Russian hands – new proposal

A seemingly independent panel with authority over domain name system overseer ICANN has been proposed in a new US law bill.
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Nov 2014