The Week in Summary

Sensitive Virgin Media web pages still stuck on weak crypto software

More than six months since The Register reported that Virgin Media had failed to move away from weak encryption software used on sensitive areas of its website – the ISP is yet to hit the upgrade button.
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Oct 2015

Hyundai i30 Turbo: Softly, softly, catchee Audi

Vulture at the Wheel When The Reg went for a spin in the Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell, one of the most common reactions we got was “who knew the Koreans would be leading the field in this sort of tech!”
Alun Taylor, 04 Oct 2015

Mysterious brown spots and a different kind of mouse support

On-Call Welcome once again to On-Call, our regular look at the messes readers find themselves in when asked to go to help out their clients.
Team Register, 04 Oct 2015
Trading Places

What is money? A rabid free marketeer puts his foot in lots of notes

Worstall @ the Weekend Several of you have asked for the skinny on what money actually is. So, here's the full fat Worstall take on cold, hard cash.
Tim Worstall, 04 Oct 2015
Doctor Who – Under the Lake. Image credit: BBC

Doctor Who's Under the Lake splits Reg scribes: This Alien homage thing – good or bad?

Kelly Fiveash, 03 Oct 2015
Pluto and Charon. Credits: NASA/JHUAPL/SwRI

Pluto's moon SPLIT OPEN by ancient FROZEN OCEAN

Pics Yet more pictures of Pluto and its moon have been sent back to Earth from NASA's New Horizons spacecraft – this time indicating a colossal geological upset in Charon's past.
Team Register, 03 Oct 2015
Still from Stand By Me movie. Pie eating contest

Google UPCHUCKS Alphabet. Alphabet GOBBLES Google

Google morphed into its new holding company Alphabet after close of business on Friday.
Kelly Fiveash, 03 Oct 2015
Ronnie Barker: All I Ever Wrote book cover

Ten years on: Ronnie Barker, Pismonouncers Unanimous founder, remembered

Feature It’s ten years ago today that much-loved comedian, writer and actor Ronnie Barker passed away. By then, despite having retired way back in 1987, he had already won four BAFTAs, a Royal Television Society award for Outstanding Creative Achievement and been made an OBE.
Phil Strongman, 03 Oct 2015
Ferrari from the driving seat

Testing CarPlay with Apple’s most expensive ever accessory

Vulture at the Wheel Apple’s CarPlay – which we got the chance to test with the ultimate iPhone accessory, a £200,000 Ferrari California T – is fighting a standards conflict against Google’s Android Auto, in what seems to be a replica of the war between Android and iOS.
Simon Rockman, 03 Oct 2015
Police direct a cabbie at the Uber protest in London

Only a CNUT would hold back the waves of the sharing economy

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The Turtle-Necked Twats are having their bluff called at last. Taxi-hailing app developer Uber has been invited to rejoin the real world and the TNTs are in uproar.
Alistair Dabbs, 03 Oct 2015

Russia vows to shame big biz that advertises on pirate sites, and save the internet

Russia has vowed to do what Obama and the EU dare not – and we don't mean bomb ISIS. The President Putin-led nation has promised to go after big business and the pirate websites they support.
Andrew Orlowski, 03 Oct 2015

Microsoft gobbles Chipzilla's Havok 3D physics unit in cloud gaming play

Top physics engine for 3D gaming Havoc has been scooped up by Microsoft, which has inked a deal with Intel to buy the outfit for an undisclosed sum.
Neil McAllister, 03 Oct 2015

Mold whine: Soylent superfood shipments stopped by spore scare

Soylent, which produces liquid food for techies who hate chewing, has stopped shipping its gloop after some of it was contaminated with mold.
Iain Thomson, 03 Oct 2015

T-Mobile US hires someone other than bungling Experian to offer ID theft monitoring to hack victims

First, Experian was hacked by criminals, and its sensitive records on 15 million people who applied for T-Mobile US phone contracts were stolen.
Shaun Nichols, 03 Oct 2015
Moon Express MX-1

Moon miners book Kiwi rockets for 2017 lunar landing

Moon Express, one of the teams competing for the $30m Google Lunar X-Prize, has booked five rockets that will be ready for a 2017 attempt to get to the Moon.
Iain Thomson, 02 Oct 2015

Alleged $32m Gemcoin crypto-bucks scam busted by Feds

The US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) says it has broken up an investment scam that defrauded citizens out of $32m by promising to mine minerals out of the ground – and pay out profits in cryptocurrency.
Shaun Nichols, 02 Oct 2015

Apple gobbles Brit AI outfit VocalIQ

Apple is reported to have snapped up UK artificial intelligence company VocalIQ, which had previously sneered at Cupertino's digital assistant Siri as being a mere "toy."
Kat Hall, 02 Oct 2015

Like your job at Sprint? Yeah, about that ... $2.5bn in cuts coming

US mobile carrier Sprint plans to tighten its belt to the tune of up to $2.5bn in cost cuts over the next six months, a new report claims.
Neil McAllister, 02 Oct 2015

Aircon biz fined $1.3m after boss set up attack websites slamming critical punters

No one likes getting negative reviews online, and it's no secret that many business owners try to fudge the system by posting positive reviews of themselves under pseudonyms.
Kieren McCarthy, 02 Oct 2015

Five million people exposed in Scottrade brokerage hack

If you've bought shares using retail broker Scottrade in the last few years, you may want to get in touch with the biz because its servers have been plundered by hackers unknown.
Iain Thomson, 02 Oct 2015

Experian-T-Mobile US hack: 'We trusted them, now that trust is broken'

Analysis The IT security breach that spilt the personal details of an estimated 15 million T-Mobile US phone contract applicants has thrown a new spotlight on the risks of breaches at third-party companies.
John Leyden, 02 Oct 2015
Stop sign in front of a bush. Image via Shutterstock

AdBlock gobbled by 'mystery buyer ' – aka Adblock Plus

AdBlock has been flogged off to a mystery buyer – and our sources have pointed to Adblock Plus as the shy purchaser. Such a move that would double the scope of Adblock Plus's empire.
Kat Hall, 02 Oct 2015

Fujitsu fleshes out Ceph hyperscale CD10000 with cost-saving tweaks

Fujitsu has moved on from its first generation Ceph-based ETERNUS CD10000, a hyperscale system, to the S2 version, and reduced its raw capacity from 56PB to 42PB in the process, while increasing the storage node options.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015

Amazon flings open source Elasticsearch at Big Data's cloud

Amazon is rolling out open-source Elasticsearch for consumers of its mega cloud.
Gavin Clarke, 02 Oct 2015

Hey techies! Ever wanted to adopt a Congresscritter? Now's your chance

A former US congressional staffer has created a campaign to put people with technology backgrounds in a position to work with US lawmakers.
Shaun Nichols, 02 Oct 2015
IBM Headquarters, Armonk, NY

Analytics are better with shared storage and not scale-out, says IBM

IBM has a packaged IBM Data Engine for Analytics – Power Systems Edition, a cluster that includes the integrated servers, parallel file system storage, network switches, and software needed to run MapReduce-based workloads.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015

Data boffins see the light with extravagantly bit-blessed optical PCM

As if PCM (phase change memory) wasn’t esoteric enough, we now have optical PCM, thanks to sterling boffinry efforts at Oxford and other universities.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015

Avere climbs higher up the Google cloud mountain

Filer speed turbocharger Avere has a faster virtual filer in the cloud and front-ends Google Nearline and DRA cloud storage.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015
TSA gloves

Watch out VW – French prosecutors are pulling on the rubber gloves

Prosecutors in Paris announced Friday that they were launching an investigation into the Volkswagen scandal, looking into what they termed as suspicions of "aggravated deception".
Jennifer Baker, 02 Oct 2015

Apple files patent for long-rumoured iRing-type bling

The long-rumoured iRing might not be a myth after all. Apple has just applied for a patent on "Devices and Methods for a Ring Computing Device".
Simon Rockman, 02 Oct 2015
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Micron: Those dratted PCs, dragging down our revenues

Declining PC sales took their toll on Micron's DRAM revenues, sending year-on-year growth into reverse for its fiscal 2015.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015

Trustmarque: 2014 was a helluva year – for all the wrong reasons

Trustmarque swung to a loss in a challenging 2014 caused by a write-down of acquired Opin Systems, the correction of overstated profits in the prior year and commercial uncertainty leading up to its sale to Liberata.
Paul Kunert, 02 Oct 2015

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Caption Competition The witticisms keep flooding in for our biblical-looking chap, who provided "divine" inspiration for a great collection of captions from readers.
Simon Rockman, 02 Oct 2015
register logo

CIOs: Tell us about your biggest disaster and how you survived it

Reg roundtable Walt Disney said “a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you”. Well, for all his talents, Walt wasn’t attempting to secure an aging IT system while evolving a vision to “digitalise” his company and secure its future in the long-term.
Team Register, 02 Oct 2015

Hand-cranked ‘DDoS’ floors Thai government website amid protests

Thai government websites dropped offline this week in what was either a politically motivated distributed denial-of-service attack or a case of badly designed websites falling over in response to an unusual increase in visitor numbers.
John Leyden, 02 Oct 2015
 CRAY-1 on display in the hallways of the EPFL in Lausanne.

The Steve Jobs of supercomputers: We remember Seymour Cray

Before Steve Jobs, there was Seymour Cray – father of the supercomputer and regarded as something close to a God in the circles he moved in.
Gavin Clarke, 02 Oct 2015

How do you solve a problem like Elliott? EMC's got 3 weeks to figure it out

EMC has most of October to answer activist investor Elliott Management's demands for a shareholder value increase through a sell-off of VMware.
Chris Mellor, 02 Oct 2015

Is the world ready for a Raspberry Pi-powered Lego Babbage Engine?

A proposal for Lego to build an Analytical Engine staffed by Babbage and Lovelace characters has received just under a third of the support it needs to be considered for production.

Ofcom: Ahem, about that 28GHz spectrum. Let's talk fees

Having found that it can charge more than it used to for mobile spectrum, Ofcom is planning the same trick for 28GHz Broadband Fixed Wireless Access.
Simon Rockman, 02 Oct 2015

HP fills those big old shoes vacated by Sue Barsamian

Running HP’s global enterprise channel is a big job but someone’s got to do it. That someone is Kerry Bailey, currently a senior exec in the firm’s cloud division.
Paul Kunert, 02 Oct 2015

Asus ZenPad 10 Z300C: Cheap tab, dock combo you can turn up to 11

Review If you want a top-notch Android tablet and keyboard package, buy the Sony Xperia Z4 Tablet. It's very good. But at £499 it's also very expensive. If money is tight, Asus can now offer you a superficially not dissimilar package for two hundred quid. That £300 saving suggests some major compromises, so is the Asus a bargain alternative or just a cheap knock-off?
Alun Taylor, 02 Oct 2015

Apple CEO Tim Cook: Email keyword sniffing? We'd NEVER do that!

In an interview which covered the company's data protection practices, Apple CEO Tim Cook has said that the company believes "from a values point of view, not from a commercial interest point of view," that privacy is a fundamental human right.

Three mobile data network GOES TITSUP across Blighty

Three UK is battling what appears to be a major outage affecting its mobile network.
Kelly Fiveash, 02 Oct 2015

Siege of Shoreditch was like Stalingrad, but with Froot Loops Bloopers

¡BONG! FRONTLINE DISPATCH Tsunami survivors say the first sign of impending disaster is that the tide goes out a very long way. One minute you're on the beach with water lapping at your feet. The next, there's nothing as far as you can see.
Steve Bong, 02 Oct 2015

So, what's happening with LOHAN? Sweet FAA, that's what

In September last year, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team wrapped a successful Kickstarter campaign to take the launch of our Vulture 2 rocket-powered spaceplane to the US of A.
Lester Haines, 02 Oct 2015

Has somebody shared your 'anonymised' health data? Bad news

Researchers from Harvard University have published a paper claiming a 100 per cent success rate in de-anonymising patients from their supposedly anonymised healthcare data in South Korea.

Five things that doomed the big and brilliant BlackBerry 10

Listicle Clickbait Special BlackBerry wants you to know that the BlackBerry 10 (BB10) isn't dead. But beyond receiving essential maintenance, it simply isn't a priority for BlackBerry, which boasts that it now has over 50 per cent of its staff in software and sales jobs.
Andrew Orlowski, 02 Oct 2015
Boris saying 'I am invincible'! Pic: Eon Productions

I was GOOGLE for a MINUTE, claims quick-witted dude

Google is investigating how an Amazon intern "bought" its domain.
Darren Pauli, 02 Oct 2015

Autonomy ex-boss Lynch tells of poisonous life within HP in High Court showdown

Analysis Former Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch has stepped up his rhetoric against HP in his latest lawsuit against the firm, having characterized HP as a snake pit of backbiting and internecine squabbling where execs "generally fought amongst themselves like cats in a sack."
Neil McAllister, 02 Oct 2015

Dangerous resurgent banking malware hits UK

The formidable Dyreza and Dridex banking malware are back in renewed and rejigged macro-based campaigns that includes a shift by the former to target industrial supply chain organisations and by the latter to smash the UK.
Darren Pauli, 02 Oct 2015

Dodgy amphetamines drive drug-crazed man on to pub roof

Lancashire cops have issued a warning to Blackburn speed-lovers after a "contaminated" batch of amphetamines prompted four cases of extreme aggression and adverse physical reaction.
Lester Haines, 02 Oct 2015

Amazon boards windows against leet key-stealing neighbours

Amazon has patched a vulnerability that could have let users to steal the RSA keys of other co-located customers.
Darren Pauli, 02 Oct 2015
Microsoft Azure instances

Microsoft pitches Azure at HPC, visualisation loads

Microsoft is lobbing a bunch of GPUs into its Azure cloud to try and attract HPC-type workloads.

Junk patent ditched in EAST TEXAS

A US judge has tossed out a patent he considers “obvious”, and with it more than 150 lawsuits launched by a company called eDekka.
Monty Python dead parrot sketch

Australians LOVE our Free Trade Agreements

The Australian government has taken a break from trying to resuscitate the limping Trans-Pacific Partnership to spruik the Australia-China Free Trade Agreement.

David Jones follows Kmart into 'we've been attacked' hell

Australian high-falutin retailer David Jones has become the second in two days to admit to a data breach of its retail systems.
asteroid impact

Boffins: We know what KILLED the DINOS – and it wasn't just an asteroid

For decades, scientists have been arguing over what killed the dinosaurs 66 million years ago – an asteroid or geological activity. Now it turns out both sides may be right.
Iain Thomson, 02 Oct 2015

Vigilante VXer FIXES SOHOpeless routers

Threat boffin Mario Ballano says VXers have broken into a host of routers creating a botnet dedicated solely to securing and hardening the devices.
Darren Pauli, 02 Oct 2015
Unlocked padlock

Patreon thieves drop data, expose users' info all over web

Attackers who compromised crowd-funding outfit Patreon have dumped its user data on various bin sites around the web.
An angry mob

Telstra iPhone customers RISE UP as download speeds collapse

Problems with an unnamed submarine cable are hitting in unexpected places: Apple iPhone users on the Telstra network are reporting catastrophically-slow performance downloading updates.
IBM generic nanotube image

Big Blue welds bits of carbon for nanotube transistor

IBM has fetched out the hand-on-a-stick to give its back a pat over what it calls a “breakthrough” in carbon nanotube electronics: making a nano-scale contact whose resistance doesn't rise as its size is squeezed.

Google's Nest weaves new Weave protocol that isn't Google's Weave

Smart-home posterboy Nest has opened up its application protocol to developers in a bid to stave off competition from Apple.
Kieren McCarthy, 01 Oct 2015
Cheat by CC 2.0 attribution

Are Samsung TVs doing a Volkswagen in energy tests? Koreans hit back

Samsung has responded quickly to claims that its televisions were designed to cheat in official power consumption tests.
Iain Thomson, 01 Oct 2015

Bezos' BAN-HAMMER batters Chromecast, Apple TV

Amazon has decided its own video streaming plans take precedence over customer choice, and has given notice that Chromecast and Apple TV devices will be kicked off its Web store.

AMD to axe a few more staff as it struggles to get back to black

AMD has unveiled a belt-tightening plan that the struggling chipmaker hopes will get its finances back on track to profitability.
Neil McAllister, 01 Oct 2015

15 MILLION T-Mobile US customer records swiped by hackers

Experian's servers have been hacked – and now sensitive files on 15 million people who applied for T-Mobile US contracts have fallen into the wrong hands.
Shaun Nichols, 01 Oct 2015

Patch NOW: VMware vCenter, ESXi can be pwned via your network

VMware is urging users of its vCenter Server and ESXi software to install its latest patches to plug vulnerabilities that can allow remote-code execution and denial of service.
Neil McAllister, 01 Oct 2015
Mars Attacks!

Mars water discovery is a liberal-muslim plot, cry moist conspiracy theorists

The announcement by NASA on Monday that Mars has flowing liquids on its surface was welcomed as tremendously exciting scientific news by intelligent and rational people.
Iain Thomson, 01 Oct 2015

Want cheaper AT&T gigabit service? Move to a Google Fiber city

Disturbing content Competition works: AT&T has been found to be charging less for its gigabit broadband service in cities where it has to compete with Google Fiber.
Shaun Nichols, 01 Oct 2015

Woman makes app that lets people rate and review you, Yelp-style. Now SHE'S upset people are 'reviewing' her

It was oh so predictable.
Kieren McCarthy, 01 Oct 2015

How to evade Apple's anti-malware Gatekeeper in OS X and really ruin a fanboy's week

The myth that Macs are inherently more secure than Windows PCs has taken another hit.
John Leyden, 01 Oct 2015

Barracuda misses Q2 results target

Cloud security and storage supplier Barracuda recorded growing revenues in its latest quarter, but fell short of expectations and made a loss because of poor sales in Europe and large deal push-outs.
Chris Mellor, 01 Oct 2015
management regulation2

Slurp data in a Eurozone country? Play by their DPA's rules – EU court

Europe’s highest court ruled Thursday that if a company is operating in a particular country and targeting residents of that country for business, then it IS subject to that country’s data protection rules.
Jennifer Baker, 01 Oct 2015
Job cuts jpeg

Toshiba CEO: Yeah, we MAY need to chop some heads

Toshiba is looking to take “urgent action” across its PC and TV business that may well involve cutting jobs, according to the chief executive.
Paul Kunert, 01 Oct 2015
Speedy Gonzales surrounded by cheese

Behind the curve: How not to be a technology laggard

I came across a wonderful term the other day: the “technical laggard”. I hadn't actually realised that this was an accepted term that's in (reasonably) wide usage – turns out it's the name given to people at the opposite end of the technology take-up spectrum from the early adopters.
Dave Cartwright, 01 Oct 2015

Ex-Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch sues HP for $150m+

Autonomy founder and ex-CEO Mike Lynch is suing HP for at least $150m (£100m) in damages over its assertion that he helped cook the books to inflate the price it paid for the software firm.
Paul Kunert, 01 Oct 2015

Hash-tag CompSci: FBI grooms pre-weed teens

The FBI is launching a pilot programme to groom teenage hackers for "the mission" before said hackers start hitting the bong – or get well-paid positions at private sector companies.
retro cartoon featuring two men fighting against cloud backdrop

Aspera high speed file transfer: Let the cloud protocol wars begin

There is a problem with cloud storage that affects almost all of us, yet is something of which most of us remain blissfully unaware. The problem isn't the object stores underpinning cloud storage; used properly, object storage is great. Look instead to the bit shuffling data between end users and the cloud.
Trevor Pott, 01 Oct 2015
The refreshed OneDrive for Business browser view

Microsoft previews less buggy OneDrive for Business client

Microsoft is previewing a new client for OneDrive for Business cloud storage, following many complaints about sync reliability in the existing client, which was based on Office Groove.
Tim Anderson, 01 Oct 2015
After Burner arcade

Bezos battery-box bomb beef brouhaha begins as UK watchdog hauls Amazon to court

The court date for a legal showdown between Amazon and the UK's Civil Aviation Authority has been set, with the parties to fight it out over allegations that Amazon broke safety rules in transporting lithium ion batteries.
Kat Hall, 01 Oct 2015
Uber launch party by CC2.0 sharelalike attribution

Chinese fraudsters hitch a ride on Uber accounts

Uber accounts of US-based customers are apparently being fraudulently abused in China.
John Leyden, 01 Oct 2015

Rocketeers aim for the Moon with first-stage £600k tin-rattle

A couple of lunar hopefuls have launched an audacious Kickstarter tin-rattle aiming to raise £600,000 towards sending a spacecraft to the Moon.
Lester Haines, 01 Oct 2015

As 'cheap as tape': HGST’s disk array gets Commvault OK

HGST’s Active Archive array now has Commvault certification as a backup target that offers instant access to data archives at a price point that rivals tape. It wants channel partners to resell it.
Chris Mellor, 01 Oct 2015

Boeing builds British Airways 787 Dreamliner in 4 minutes

British Airways took the delivery yesterday of its first 787-9 Dreamliner, and released an entertaining video showing just how quickly Boeing put the thing together.
Lester Haines, 01 Oct 2015

Microsoft sabotages own Lumia smartmobe flagship launch

Microsoft has ensured that its unwanted Lumia phone division won’t upstage its Surface team next week, by posting details of the phones to its own UK Store website.
Andrew Orlowski, 01 Oct 2015

It's BACK – Stagefright 2.0: Zillions of Android gadgets can be hijacked by MP3s, movie files

Updated More than a billion Android phones, tablets and other gadgets can be hijacked by merely previewing MP3 music or MP4 video files.
Darren Pauli, 01 Oct 2015
Tim Worstall victory dance at his Reg lecture

El Reg lecture shows the merely human how to live forever

Reg Events If you could live forever, would you actually want to? That’s a question best considered over a pint which is exactly what we’ll doing at our first Christmas 2015 lecture on 17 November, when we're joined by leading transhumanist Anders Sandberg.
Joe Fay, 01 Oct 2015
Artist's impression of how Fomalhalt b might look

THESE ARE THE VOYAGES of the space probe Discovery

NASA's scheme for reasonably priced space probes, the Discovery programme, has issued a new short list of ideas for its next economical science-shot.
Lewis Page, 01 Oct 2015

Accenture extends tentacles with €25m Dublin R&D centre

Accenture is the latest company to expand its base into low-tax Ireland, opening a €25m (£16.5m) R&D centre in Dublin and hiring 200 new bodies.
Kat Hall, 01 Oct 2015
A new-style Office Add-in, written in JavaScript

You lucky devs: It's Microsoft Office 2016 ... and VBA lives on

Microsoft is rolling out a consistent JavaScript API across the Windows, Mac and mobile version of Office.
Tim Anderson, 01 Oct 2015

IT supplier? Got a customer who won't pay? Dob them in to the Insolvency Service

From today IT suppliers are encouraged to begin shopping their failing customers into the Insolvency Service, under a new order coming into force that will guarantee payment to providers of companies entering administration.
Kat Hall, 01 Oct 2015

Intel doubles capacity and speed of PCIe flash card

Intel has near-doubled the capacity and speed of its DC P3600 PCIe NVMe flash card with a DC P3608 refresh.
Chris Mellor, 01 Oct 2015

MYSTERY PARTICLE BLASTS from Ceres strike NASA probe Dawn

The not-quite-planet-but-jolly-big-for-an-asteroid Ceres continues to give up its secrets under the unwinking gaze of NASA's Dawn probecraft, now in orbit about the planetoid.

Microsoft slaps 13 per cent increase on mobile enterprise levy

Microsoft has bumped up the levy it charges mobile users to connect to Windows servers.
Gavin Clarke, 01 Oct 2015

What does EU farm subsidy get spent on? Yes, broadband for Irish farmers

In its efforts to “get every European digital”, the European Commission has raided agricultural funding to try and get farmers surfing.
Jennifer Baker, 01 Oct 2015

FATTIES have most SUCCESS with opposite SEX! Have some pies and SCORE

Yet more great news today for those assessed as fatties by the now massively discredited Body Mass Index (BMI) system: you're probably more successful with the opposite sex than your undernourished contemporaries.
Lewis Page, 01 Oct 2015

Tegile thrashes rivals in race to supply vomit-free krill pills seller

Ah, the perils of buying bleeding edge kit: Dutch organic nutritional powder and pill pusher GreenPower has chosen Tegile over HP, Pure Storage, Nimble, Violin Memory and EMC to replace a Skyera skyHawk all-flash array, which ran out of support.
Chris Mellor, 01 Oct 2015

EMC purchase of Graphite Systems was a wetware buy

EMC’s purchase of Graphite Systems was a wetware acquisition, a simple acquihire, according to sources close to the matter.
Chris Mellor, 01 Oct 2015

Shoe stores top US credit card EMV-ready leaderboard of fail

Only 27 percent of US merchants and 40 percent of consumers in that country will be ready for the self-imposed EMV (Europay, MasterCard and Visa) chip-card payment deadline Thursday.
Darren Pauli, 01 Oct 2015

Don't look now, but there's another EU data protection court case about to bite

It might not be getting quite the level of attention as the Max Schrems case, but tomorrow (Thursday) the European Court of Justice will rule on another case that could have similar ramifications for data protection.
Jennifer Baker, 01 Oct 2015
Hillary Clinton

Hillary spillery finds half-hearted phishery

In spite of US Presidential wannabe Hillary Clinton being one of the world's most recognisable names, hackers were so slack they only managed to get five phishing emails into her now-famous personal email server.
IT Crowd's Roy: "Have you turned it off and on again?"

AF-FIR-MAT-IVE: Second suspension for robot-voice helldesker

An IT help desk staffer at New York City's Health Department is facing his second suspension for answering customer calls in a robot voice.

Slander-as-a-service: Peeple app wants people to rate and review you – whether you like it or not

This could be the most odious idea the internet manages in 2015: Peeple is an app that lets people rate other people, whether they like it or not, and plans to launch in November.

175,000 whinge to Microsoft about phone tech support scams

Microsoft has received more than 175,000 complaints about phone technical support scams since May last year, and Redmond says the "Hello I'm Joe from Windows Technical Support" callers will filch around US$1.5 billion from Americans this year.
Darren Pauli, 01 Oct 2015

Kmart Oz popped but credit cards are safe, really

Kmart Australia has announced a successful breach of its Australian online store.

Patreon patrons: It's password-reset time

Popular Internet patronage and crowd-funding site Patreon has been popped, with user data stolen.
BOM satellite image

BEELION-DOLLAR Japanese satellite gives BOM a data nerdgasm

Australian weather nerds wanting to get up close and personal with the latest fronts and troughs can now gawp at high quality images online.

Cisco borgs UK infosec bods

Cisco Systems is buying Portcullis Computer Security, a UK-based firm specialising in consulting to enterprise and government clients.
VW Scirocco logo

Oz regulator warns VW: cheatware scandal could cost you millions

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission is the latest regulator to put Volkswagen in the cross-hairs, announcing that it's launched an investigation into the beleaguered car-maker.

FBI: We unmasked and collared child porn creep on Tor with spy tool

Dark-web deadbeats may not be as anonymous as they think. A bloke in the US was charged on Friday after FBI spyware caught him downloading child sex abuse material.
Iain Thomson, 01 Oct 2015
Microsoft on Android

Microsoft and Google ink SECRET TREATY to end all their patent wars

Google and Microsoft have inked a secret deal in which all patent disputes between the mammoth companies will be abandoned.
Neil McAllister, 01 Oct 2015
Apple TV teardown

Tear teardown down, roars Apple: iFixit app yanked from store

DIY repair biz iFixit says it can no longer offer its iOS mobile app, thanks to a ban from Apple.
Shaun Nichols, 01 Oct 2015

Verisign opens up its DNS

Verisign is throwing its hat into the “free DNS” ring, promising not to retain information about recursive requests to its just-launched service.

Europe talks to hackers, security bods on Wassenaar recalibration

Speaking at a roundtable meeting on export controls on Wednesday, Dutch MEP Marietje Schaake said that she and other lawmakers were working to avoid "some of the unintended consequences of the Wassenaar Arrangement."
Jennifer Baker, 30 Sep 2015
Bug eating an apple

Apple fixes iOS 9.0.2 passcode loophole, kills 101 OS X security bugs

Apple has posted a trio of software updates to address major security flaws in its OS X and iOS operating systems.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Sep 2015

SaaS biz 'made up 99% of sales and defrauded investors of millions'

If you bought internet services from Illinois-based ContinuityX Services, the US Securities and Exchange Commission would like a word, since you may be part of a very, very small group – far smaller than the company itself represented.
Iain Thomson, 30 Sep 2015

Roku 4 specs leak: Yes, it's got 4K streaming and a games controller

Exclusive The much-anticipated Roku 4 will come with 4K ultra high-definition resolution, a separate games controller, and a faster quad-core ARM processor.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Sep 2015

Oakland mayor fires warning letter to Uber: Welcome to our city. Now behave

The Mayor of Oakland in California has warned taxi-ordering app Uber that it needs to behave when it moves into a new office complex in the heart of the city's downtown.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Sep 2015

Weird garbled Windows 7 update baffles world – now Microsoft reveals the truth

Windows 7 users were left scratching their heads on Wednesday when a mysterious garbled patch appeared in Windows Update, origins unknown.
Neil McAllister, 30 Sep 2015
Tesla Model X

Elon Musk unmasks Tesla's Model X – the $132k anti-bioweapon SUV for the 1%

Pics and video Elon Musk finally got to unveil Tesla's Model X luxury electric sports utility vehicle, and showed off some literally ludicrous features the car has to offer.
Iain Thomson, 30 Sep 2015

Flaky Flickr's pic upload faulty for weeks, fume fed-up photographers

Some users of Yahoo!'s photo-sharing site Flickr have been struggling or unable to upload photos to the site for several weeks.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Sep 2015

Straight from the horse's mouth: It's October 7 for Pure's IPO

Pure Storage has told us something quite interesting: "Pure Storage will be listing shares for our initial public offering at the New York Stock Exchange on Wednesday, 7 October."
Chris Mellor, 30 Sep 2015
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

Acer: We're not laying off staff, just shifting 'em out of the PC biz

Acer is not reacting to the downturn in PC spending by cutting heads – not yet anyway – but it is planning a restructure.
Paul Kunert, 30 Sep 2015
processor chip-off

Eight cores good, ten cores better: MediaTek resumes Qualcomm multi-core war

Despite what Qualcomm claims, its main foe, MediaTek, claims that the core wars are not over. Qualcomm has argued – like a politician saying that “left and right is old thinking” – that it isn't about how many cores you had, but what you did with them.
Simon Rockman, 30 Sep 2015
No junk mail. Pic: gajman, Flickr

Solar panel spammer hit by UK’s biggest ever nuisance calls fine

The UK's data privacy watchdog has issued its largest ever fine for a nuisance caller, £200,000, after a solar panels provider was found culpable for recklessly breaking marketing call regulations.
John Leyden, 30 Sep 2015

Russian hacker, nabbed in Spain, cops 4+ years for Citadel botnet

Dimitry Belorossov – a Russian cyber-criminal who used the Citadel banking trojan – has been sentenced to four years and six months in a US prison after pleading guilty to conspiring to commit computer fraud.

Speaking in Tech: Hello from Spiceworld – no, not THAT Spiceworld

Podcast Podcast Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Ed and Sarah are in Austin for Spiceworks' annual convention – Spiceworld – where they discuss China, Citrix and selfie deaths, while digging deep into Spiceworks' culture with special guest Scott Abel, former CEO, co-founder and chief strategy officer.
Team Register, 30 Sep 2015

Lenovo stock: The channel iceberg is melting

Until recently, dusty Lenovo PCs were looking a likely candidate to replace concrete in the British construction sector, such was the inventory glut confronting local ops. Things have improved, but still aren’t great.
Paul Kunert, 30 Sep 2015
Docker logo

Containers everywhere! Getting started with Docker

How to Docker is the name on the tip of many tongues at the moment. It is a containerisation engine which allows you to package up an application along with all the settings and software required to run it and deploy it to a server with a minimum of fuss.
Kat McIvor, 30 Sep 2015

Federation is golden, says EMC II boss Goulden

David Goulden, CEO of EMC Info Infrastructure, said breaking up the Federation would be the wrong thing to do, while speaking at the Code/Enterprise Series conference in New York on Tuesday.
Chris Mellor, 30 Sep 2015

Arabic-speaking cyberspies targeting BOFHs with crude but effective attacks

An Arabic-speaking cyber-espionage group, active since 2012, has stepped up its attacks over the last six months, according to new research from Kaspersky Lab.
John Leyden, 30 Sep 2015

Western Digital sells strangely limited 15 per cent stake to China

In a transaction said to be unconnected to the HGST-WD merger – still becalmed by Chinese watchdog MOFCOM – Western Digital is selling a 15 per cent stake to a subsidiary of China-based Unisplendour Corporation (Unis) for $3.8bn.
Chris Mellor, 30 Sep 2015
VW Scirocco logo

Lies from VW: 'Our staff acted criminally but board didn't know'

Olaf Lies, a Volkswagen board member and the economy minister of Lower Saxony, has stated that some staff acted criminally in installing software which allowed cars to cheat on pollution tests.
Dispatchers are vital to co-ordinating on the ground activities

Met at 'huge risk' of botching its Steria outsourcing contract

Plans by the Metropolitan Police to outsource its IT and shunt 445 staff out of the capital via a 10-year £216m mega deal with Steria present "huge risks", a report by London's spending watchdog has warned.
Kat Hall, 30 Sep 2015
Archer cracks the ISIS mainframe's password

Share-crazy millennials spaff passwords ALL OVER the workplace

Many (45 per cent) of workers say they could access a former employer’s systems through old, unchanged passwords, according to a survey by password management outfit Dashlane.
John Leyden, 30 Sep 2015

Adblock farms out acceptable ad policy to independent reviewer

Adblock Plus is to farm out its evaluation process for unblocking adverts to an independent reviewer in a bid to be "100 per cent transparent", while remaining tight-lipped over its revenue from companies effectively paying to have their ads displayed.
Kat Hall, 30 Sep 2015

Redcentric lines up COO as new CEO

Managed services outfit Redcentric has confirmed operations chief Fraser Fisher is to jump into the CEO chair in the not-too-distant future.
Paul Kunert, 30 Sep 2015

MASSIVE GLOBAL COOLING process discovered as Paris climate deal looms

As world leaders get ready to head to Paris for the latest pact on cutting CO2 emissions, it has emerged that there isn't as much urgency about the matter as had been thought.
Lewis Page, 30 Sep 2015

It's the white heat of the tech revolution, again!

Worstall on Wednesday It's more normally Mr Orlowski around here shouting that Mariana Mazzucato is a poopyhead, but given that she's just been appointed to Corbyn's economic advisory team, perhaps it's time to add to the chorus?
Tim Worstall, 30 Sep 2015

Relax Schrems, EU-US Safe Harbour ruling coming soon

Next Tuesday, Europe’s top court will decide whether the much-discussed and sometimes controversial EU-US data sharing deal provides enough privacy protection for citizens.
Jennifer Baker, 30 Sep 2015

Building a hybrid cloud? Then check out these Microsoft webinars

Promo IT is moving at a furious pace. Are you trying to figure out how to manage hybrid clouds, deploy converged infrastructure and run open source workloads in the cloud?
David Gordon, 30 Sep 2015
Picture by Afonso Lima

How do you like your PC, fat or thin?

Managing the desktop estate hurts the head and the wallet, so why don't people use thin clients?
David Gordon, 30 Sep 2015

The Digital Workplace Vision: Is seeing really believing?

Regcast Nirvana can be hard to define, but actually creating it can be infinitely harder - especially when the nirvana in question is the Digital Workplace Vision.
David Gordon, 30 Sep 2015
Uber launch party by CC2.0 sharelalike attribution

Has the UK Uber crackdown begun? TfL opens consultation on private car biz

Transport for London (TfL) has today opened a public consultation on the regulations governing private-hire taxis, a move that could see a major clampdown on the way Uber operates.
Kat Hall, 30 Sep 2015

Twitter signs Edward Snowden to write for them for free

Former NSA sysadmin Edward Snowden, famed for leaking colossal quantities of secret government information to selected journalists, has decided to supply free content to microblurt advertising platform Twitter.
Team Register, 30 Sep 2015

Tucci’s terrible dilemma: Unlock EMC value without destroying the Federation

Comment War could break out in EMC's investor ranks any day now as the standstill agreement between EMC's board and activist investor Elliott Management runs out this month.
Chris Mellor, 30 Sep 2015

BBC joins war against Flash, launches beta HTML5 iPlayer

It may not be the definitive decision which propels humanity towards our inevitable end, but in a post on the Beeb's internet blog, James East, the Media Playout Product Manager, stated that his team is now confident they can "achieve the playback quality you'd expect from the BBC without using a third-party plugin."
Biting lemon image via Shutterstock

Move to the latest IE, or suck it: January’s cold comfort for Microsoft hangouts

The start of 2016 is crunch time if you’re running legacy Microsoft browsers. From January 12, 2016, a huge swath of Internet Explorer versions will no longer get security fixes or updates from Microsoft.
Gavin Clarke, 30 Sep 2015

Smuggle mischievous JavaScript into WinRAR archives? Sure, why not

The popular WinRAR compression software can be abused to produce self-extracting archives that execute smuggled-in JavaScript code when decompressed.
Darren Pauli, 30 Sep 2015
Bang by Guian Bolisay

Rackspace: Amazon? Sure, you can buy their cloud ... from us

Rackspace has reportedly formed a partnership with Amazon Web Services to help customers move their data centers to the online retail giant's public cloud.
Neil McAllister, 30 Sep 2015

India follows up Mars orbiter with successful space observatory launch

India's space agency has successfully launched the country's first space observatory, the long-awaited ASTROSAT.
By Henrik Ishihara licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

MACAQUE ATTACK: Monkey plunders Florida resident's box, gobbles contents

"Shortly after 8am," reported Florida's Sanford Police Department (SPD), "we received a call from a Sanford resident who lives in the Hidden Lakes subdivision, reporting that a monkey was eating mail out of a mailbox."
Team Register, 30 Sep 2015
Cheat by CC 2.0 attribution

Herbie goes to a hackathon: Mueller promises cheatware fix

Volkswagen is going to spend up big getting rid of its troublesome cheatware, the company has announced.

Rusky antivirus company FIRE BOMBED for research blogs

Russian ATM VXers have firebombed the research lab of an anti-virus firm after its researchers refused to retract reverse engineering analysis of their malware.
Darren Pauli, 30 Sep 2015
Sydney Harbour Bridge in the cloud

Intralinks tags HP Helion for its Oz-hosted cloud

Questions about data sovereignty have brought another cloud provider to Australia, with Intralinks moving into an HP data centre down under.
Fibre Optic by Barta IV cc 2.0 attribution

TPG glasses Vodafone with 4,000 km of new fibre

After Vocus and M2 Communications announced their merger deal, all eyes turned to troubled mobile operator Vodafone, with TPG mooted as the likely buyer.

NBN net neutrality under fire following DPI RFI

One-time NBN CTO Gary McLaren called out his former employer on Twitter yesterday following a request for proposal that hinted at plans for deep packet inspection.
Bill Bennett, 30 Sep 2015

Google literally dangles its new dongle in front of gasping TV audiences

Pics Google has redesigned its $35 Chromecast TV dongle, and come up with the Chromecast Audio – a new gizmo that streams music over Wi-Fi to speakers.
Iain Thomson, 30 Sep 2015

Aussie students set to hack cloud biz to hell

Two hundred and fifty one university and TAFE students will today compete to hack the hell out of the Enterprise Wellness Initiative, smashing its apps, and pulling off feats of forensics.
Darren Pauli, 30 Sep 2015

Raytheon: Ho hum, another day, another $1bn cyber-security contract with Uncle Sam

Defense contractor Raytheon said it will be providing IT security for more than 100 US government agencies in a deal valued at upwards of $1bn.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Sep 2015

AMD spray-paints 'Pro A-series for biz' over its Carrizo notebook chips

Intel's human shield from monopoly watchdogs AMD has quietly revealed some processor packages for business PCs.
Chris Williams, 30 Sep 2015

Macquarie academics send Gmail a ‘Dear John’ letter

Macquarie University says it will drop Gmail after The Chocolate Factory decided to move its data storage from Europe to the United States.
Bill Bennett, 29 Sep 2015
Funnel of cash. Credit: via SXC –

Do you agree with our fee hike? Press 1 to answer Yes; or 2 for Yes

It has long been a concern that domain-name overseer ICANN is largely funded by companies reliant on the organization to make money.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Sep 2015

Microsoft says Mesos support is coming with Azure Container Service

Building on its existing support for containerized applications on its Azure cloud, Microsoft on Tuesday announced the Azure Container Service, a new environment for running cloudy container workloads based on Docker and Apache Mesos.
Neil McAllister, 29 Sep 2015
Google's Pixel C

Pixel C: Google has a crack at the fondleslab-with-keyboard game

First Microsoft mated a tablet with a keyboard, then Apple came late to the party. Now Google has done the same. From an engineering perspective, Google's new Pixel C slab looks to have left them both in the dust.
Iain Thomson, 29 Sep 2015
Android Marshmallow

Hands on with Google's Nexus 5X, 6P Android Marshmallow mobes

Pics and video Google has updated its Nexus smartphone range with two new handsets powered by the latest build of Android, codenamed Marshmallow.
Iain Thomson, 29 Sep 2015

Web ad tried to make my iPhone spaff a premium-rate text, says snapper

A bloke in Scotland reckons a dodgy web advert tried to trick him into sending a text message from his iPhone to a premium-rate number.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Sep 2015
By Mingle Media TV

Monica Lewinsky lawyer named as first outsider on secret US spy court

One of Monica Lewinsky's former lawyers will be the first outside advisor to America's secret court that oversees NSA spying.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Sep 2015
Uber - living the dream

Uber's double Dutch moment: Cops raid offices a second time

Ride-booking app-maker Uber once again finds itself in the crosshairs of police in the Netherlands for breaking taxi laws.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Sep 2015

Microsoft stamps its bootprints harder into India

Just days after promising to connect a ton of people in India to the world of cat GIFs and online ads, Microsoft has opened a load of data centers in the nation to flog its cloud.
Kat Hall, 29 Sep 2015

Linux-powered botnet lets rip on victims with 180Gbps network floods

Cybercrooks have built a network of compromised Linux servers capable of blowing websites and other systems off the internet with at least 150Gbps of junk traffic.
John Leyden, 29 Sep 2015
Railway line split. Pic: Ian Sane

Blood in the boardroom as Imation ejects from tape media business

Clinton Group execs in charge at struggling Imation have started restructuring the business to make it a tastier dish, discarding its tape media business, selling off property assets and starting a Nexsan array business restructuring exercise.
Chris Mellor, 29 Sep 2015
Renderings always look great

Find shaving a chore? Why not BLAST your BEARD off with a RAYGUN

Men with beards have invented a razor which shaves with a laser.
Simon Rockman, 29 Sep 2015
iPhone explodes

WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

We here at the Reg, as all our readers know, subscribe completely to the idea that people need a continual stream of iPhone related news-style content.
Lewis Page, 29 Sep 2015 unleashes 3D virtual world to train GCHQ's kiddie division

The next generation of Blighty's cybersecurity workforce is to be trained without even realising it, in a Cabinet Office-funded cyber skyscraper built "solely to find, test and recruit cyber talent".

Put all your eggs in one basket – and by eggs we mean GPU-heavy apps and by basket, Azure

Microsoft will add a new N-series of virtual machines to its Azure cloud that are boosted by Nvidia's graphics accelerators.
Chris Williams, 29 Sep 2015

UK team pioneers experimental cure for age-related blindness

A UK medical team is pioneering a potential cure for age-related blindness, with a treatment aimed at replacing damaged cells.
John Leyden, 29 Sep 2015

Need discrete encounter with some hardware? Of course, we mean AMD's new Embedded Radeons

When you think AMD, you might think: "Oh yeah, those peeps doing the graphics chips in the Nintendo XboxStation 4." Or maybe: "Err, those peeps, the ones keeping the M word away from Intel and Nvidia." Or perhaps: "Um, the ones El Reg keeps telling us to pray for?"
Chris Williams, 29 Sep 2015
Clever logo aped in the falcon doors

Tesla X unfolds its Falcon wings, stumbles belatedly into the light

Vulture at the Wheel Tesla will launch the Model X tonight. This is the third model the company has launched after the Lotus-built roadster and the amazing Model S.
Simon Rockman, 29 Sep 2015

Spirit of Steve Fosset lives on as glider is poised to soar to 90,000ft

The Perlan 2 unpowered glider is on course to soar to a record-breaking 90,000ft (27,400m) next year, following a successful first test flight last week at a more modest 5,000ft (1,500m).
Lester Haines, 29 Sep 2015
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

Capita: O2 call centre staff exodus is premature evacuation

Capita has “invited” O2 call centre staff with one eye on the exit to stick around for a little longer, and the resulting excitement at such a prospect is palpable.
Paul Kunert, 29 Sep 2015

Fiorina: I rushed out HP servers to power NSA snooping. Mwahahaha!

US presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina has boasted that HP sold the NSA servers that allowed the agency to build a system for mass surveillance.
John Leyden, 29 Sep 2015
Apple iPhone 6s

iPhone 6s and 6s Plus: Harder, faster and they'll give you a buzz

Review The latest iThing is the tock in Apple’s two-year hardware cycle, last year’s iPhone 6 and its oversized "Plus" companion having been the tick.
Tom Salinger, 29 Sep 2015

Is your Infrastructure ready for the future

Our very own Tim Phillips and analyst Tony Lock postulate on the future of tech infrastructure and explore some of the changes you might need to make to cope with the next five years.
David Gordon, 29 Sep 2015

Sky 'fesses up to broken fibre cables as cause of outage woes

Sky has 'fessed up to broken fibre cables as being the cause of an outage in the north west, which has knocked a number of broadband and phone customers offline since Monday.
Kat Hall, 29 Sep 2015
Shot of the D-Wave chip holder - a robotic looking contraption

Google and NASA hop into bed with quantum computing biz

NASA and Google have signed a seven-year deal with D-Wave Systems to install its new 1,000 qubit processor machines.
Kat Hall, 29 Sep 2015

EMC/DSSD swallows Graphite Systems, begins technology digest

EMC’s DSSD unit bought a stealth-mode startup developing an ultra-high performance flash array in August this year.
Chris Mellor, 29 Sep 2015

Outsourcery bags another £1m investment as losses start shrinking

Outsourcery has unearthed yet another personal investor willing to throw some cash into the commercial coal furnace; one Lawrence Jones, MBE, who doubles up as the boss of hosting biz UKFast.
Paul Kunert, 29 Sep 2015

Peaxy offers a vision of the future – and it’s a silo-melding data lake

Data management and storing startup Peaxy aims to provide a Big Data analytics tool that locates and gives you access to data where ever it is.
Chris Mellor, 29 Sep 2015

Mobile first? Microsoft decides to kneecap its Android users instead

Comment Microsoft can often resemble a heavily armed octopus trying to shoot itself in the head. But even after 25 years of watching Redmond's finest, it still has the capacity to astonish us with the imaginative ways it can screw things up. It gave us another example last week.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Sep 2015
Volkswagen Beetle

Herbie Goes Under Investigation: German prosecutors probe ex-VW CEO Winterkorn

Volkswagon's former CEO, Martin Winterkorn, has come under investigation by the German state attorney.
paper cut-out men holding hands in linked semi-circle

IBM buys top Workday channel partner

IBM is beefing up its human resources software roster by buying Meteorix, a Boston MA reseller with more than 200 Workday consultants. Financial terms are undisclosed.
Drew Cullen, 29 Sep 2015

Vodafone left the lonely singleton as Liberty deal kiboshed

European telco Liberty Global and Vodafone have put the kibosh on their possible merger, the mobile network operator announced late Monday.
Kat Hall, 29 Sep 2015

Here are the God-mode holes that gave TrueCrypt audit the slip

Google Project Zero hacker James Forshaw has found a pair of privilege-elevation holes in the once-popular TrueCrypt encryption package.
Darren Pauli, 29 Sep 2015
Pretty woman looks miffed. Copyright: Danil Nevsky via Shutterstock

NSA? Illegal spying? EU top lawyer is talking out of his Bot – US gov

The US government has responded to Europe's top lawyer, who last week said sending people's private data to the United States is illegal.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Sep 2015

Thousands of 'directly hackable' hospital devices exposed online

Derbycon Thousands of critical medical systems – including Magnetic Resonance Imaging machines and nuclear medicine devices – that are vulnerable to attack have been found exposed online.
Darren Pauli, 29 Sep 2015

Marijuana from heaven: Bundle of blow bombs bow-wow's boudoir

A 26lbs bundle of cannabis appeared from the sky and bombed through the roof of a carport in the Arizona town of Nogales.
Team Register, 29 Sep 2015
Boy slurps watermelon. Credit: Shutterstock

Microsoft eats its Dynamics CRM young with Adxstudio buy

Microsoft has picked over the “key product and technology assets” of Adxstudio, a long-time Dynamics CRM and application development partner.
Bill Bennett, 29 Sep 2015

Feds want a phone smart enough to burn itself if it falls into the wrong hands

It won't surprise you at all to know that the US government is keenly interested in the idea of self-destructing electronics.
Telstra copper in broken pit

Telstra passes on NBN billions, plays it safe

Technology pundits were left scratching their heads yesterday when Telstra walked away from bidding for up to A$56 billion in NBN fibre build contracts.
Bill Bennett, 29 Sep 2015

Google 'cubists' fix bug in Linux network congestion control, boost performance

A bit of “quality, non-glamorous engineering” could give a bunch of Linux servers a boost by addressing an unnoticed bug in a congestion control algorithm.
Fibre Optic by Barta IV cc 2.0 attribution

US fibre rollouts are driving Cablelabs standards in new directions

Google's fibre initiatives haven't just prodded the US cable operators to respond in kind, gigabit for gigabit – it's also driving standards.

Red alert: Pure Storage IPO could maybe hit as early as next week

A well-informed storage industry source with close ties to startups suggests that Pure's IPO could happen as early as next week – yes, the one beginning Monday, October 5.
Chris Mellor, 29 Sep 2015
Google Toilet Paper

AdSense fraud still too easy, says Spanish boffin

A bit of code-work is all it takes to sidestep one of Google's key AdSense protection mechanisms.
Rings of a distant star

Where VSAN doesn't shine: Sources explain EMC's ScaleIO purpose

EMC introduced its scale-out ScaleIO Node virtual SAN a couple of weeks ago, with hybrid flash-disk and all-flash server chassises. It overlaps as a product with EMC-owned VMware's VSAN, and therefore EMC's EVO:RAIL implementation of that, and also competes with scale-out all-flash arrays.
Chris Mellor, 29 Sep 2015

Trump confirms carders raided Las Vegas hotel sales tills

Trump Hotel Collection has confirmed in a letter to customers that IT security at one of its Las Vegas hotels was breached.
Darren Pauli, 29 Sep 2015

Overheating iPhone 6S+ BLINDED my cam, cries flashgate fanboy

Screenshot Some Apple iPhone 6S Plus owners are complaining that their new handsets get too hot – with one bod yelling that the LED flash shuts down.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Sep 2015
Spaghetti with tomato sauce

Pasta is now a THING, says Cisco

QR codes are now officially part of the Internet of Things hype-cycle.

Yahoo!: Who! cares! what! US! taxman! thinks!, we'll! spinoff! Alibaba! anyway!

Yahoo! says it's going to press ahead with its plan to spin off its multibillion-dollar stake in Chinese e-commerce firm Alibaba, despite failing to receive a favorable ruling from the US Internal Revenue Service.
Neil McAllister, 29 Sep 2015

Now you can be tracked online by your email addy. Thanks, Google!

Companies can upload your email address to Google so when the internet goliath detects you surfing across the web, it can throw better-targeted adverts at you.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Sep 2015
Satya Nadella

Axed-ya Nadella swings blade through the forest of Microsoft again

In Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella's latest move to dismantle the legacy of his predecessor, Steve Ballmer, the software giant has announced that it's changing its financial reporting structure ... again.
Neil McAllister, 28 Sep 2015
Apple iPhone 6s

Apple in eyebrow-raising threesome with TSMC, Samsung for iPhone 6S

Apple is using two slightly different A9 processors from two suppliers – TSMC and Samsung – in its new iPhone 6S.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Sep 2015
Comet 67P Churyumov Gerasimenko on August 12th

Rosetta comet boffins: We can explain why there's a rubber ducky IN SPAAACE

Pics Findings from the European Space Agency's Rosetta probe solved the riddle of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko's unusual shape. They have proof that the comet is in fact two planetary bodies joined at the hip.
Iain Thomson, 28 Sep 2015

BlackBerry's tactical capitulation to Google buys time – and possibly a future

Analysis BlackBerry loyalists may despair – but for the first time in a very long time, BlackBerry has been showered with praise for a new device.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Sep 2015

HP's Mad King Léo ignored Autonomy iceberg, emails claim

Leo Apotheker of former HP fame ignored warnings from his own board and shareholders about the ill-fated $11.1bn Autonomy acquisition that resulted in a $8.8bn write-down and allegations of accountancy fraud, a cache of internal emails suggests.
Kat Hall, 28 Sep 2015

ICANN taking over the 'net from Uncle Sam? Ted Cruz to the rescue!

Four leading Congressional figures, including US presidential candidate Ted Cruz, have questioned whether the Obama Administration has the legal right to transfer control of the internet's key technical functions outside the US government.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Sep 2015

'Miracle weight-loss' biz sued for trying to silence bad online reviews

A US watchdog is suing a health biz that allegedly used the terms and conditions on its diet powder to silence disgruntled customers.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Sep 2015

Is Windows 10 slurping too much data? No, says Microsoft. Nuh-uh. Nope

Is Windows 10 spying on you by grabbing all sorts of personally identifying data about you without your permission? Not at all, claims Redmond.
Neil McAllister, 28 Sep 2015

World panics, children cry, workers sigh ... TITSUP

Updated Bosses cheered worldwide as fell over once again, forcing people to put down their phones, close their private-browsing tabs, and do some work. Yes, even if it is Monday.
Team Register, 28 Sep 2015

Audi, Seat, Skoda admit they've been fiddling car pollution tests as well

The fallout from Volkswagen's use of software to cheat on emissions tests is spreading: Audi and Skoda (both of which are owned by VW) admit that some of their cars carry the dodgy code.
Iain Thomson, 28 Sep 2015
The new Pirate Bay logo

Pirate Bay cofounder and computer hacker Anakata freed

Pirate Bay cofounder Gottfrid Svartholm Warg has been released from prison in Sweden following three years behind bars, we're told.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Sep 2015

The UN made privacy a human right – but that's not good enough for Team Snowden

NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden has backed calls to make privacy a basic human right.
John Leyden, 28 Sep 2015

Apple CEO: We've hoovered up your cash faster than ever before

Apple has sold more than 13 million new iPhones in just three days, the company crowed announced on Monday.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Sep 2015
Gullies on the surface of Mars

WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA

Pics NASA has had the space community on tenterhooks for the last week, and on Monday made its big reveal – there is liquid water on Mars.
Iain Thomson, 28 Sep 2015
gushing fire hydrant, photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft preps Azure data lake flood gates for readiness

Microsoft will later this year release its open-source friendly lake for big-data analytics in the cloud.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Sep 2015

High Court judge deciding future of Stone Computers

The future of Stone Computers will be decided by a High Court judge who could rule to place the entire group of companies into administration, or simply rubber stamp the proposed pre-pack deal.
Paul Kunert, 28 Sep 2015

Quadsys Five hacking fraud trial set for mid-December

The fraud case against the Quadsys Five accused of hacking into a rival security reseller’s systems is due to start in earnest on 14 December.
Paul Kunert, 28 Sep 2015
Plate spinning routine by Henrik Bothe

Managing DevOps in the hybrid cloud

Here’s the big challenge for companies wanting to excel at software delivery: how can you foster fast development and rollouts of software tools, while supporting new deployment platforms, such as hybrid cloud environments? There’s a lot to juggle, and it won’t be easy. DevOps can help.
Robin Birtstone, 28 Sep 2015

EU, China promise 5G cooperation, seek an understanding on standards

The EU and China have pledged to work hand in hand on rolling out the next generation of mobiles and mobile networks.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Sep 2015
Mist and condensation, image via Shutterstock

Whoops, there goes my cloud: What to do when AWS foresakes you

Comment It's been an interesting period for cloud services, with both Amazon and Skype suffering major outages. In Amazon's case it was a good old-fashioned network interruption that caused significant knock-on effects (it released a very frank explanation that is well worth a read). As for Skype it was a configuration change that broke the world.
Dave Cartwright, 28 Sep 2015
Cloudy sky

Cisco who? HP puts Pica8's OS into its open switches

HP has taken another step away from the world of the Borg, certifying the Pica8 open switching operating system to run on its Altoline open networking switches.
Clip Art cartoon of smiling sun

Want to know the key to storage happiness? It’s analytics. Yeah, it’s that simple

What are you looking for in a new storage system? Performance, capacity, efficiency, data services? Well, from my point of view you should be looking for analytics first! The right analytics tool can easily save you money, time, and make your job easier.

Saudi Arabia: They liked Hacking Team so much they tried to buy the company

The Saudi Arabian government came close to buying a majority stake in Italian surveillance software firm Hacking Team last year.
John Leyden, 28 Sep 2015

PIGS IN SPAAAACE: HAMS send porker to 25,927m

The recent news that a pop vid director had sent a vintage Sony telly up to the stratosphere prompted us to note that just about everything bar the kitchen sink has been dispatched heavenwards under a meteorological balloon.
Lester Haines, 28 Sep 2015
Indian mobile use

Microsoft, Google scramble to COLONISE INDIA

Microsoft is the latest company to rush into the lucrative emerging Indian market, with the promise to connect 500,000 villages in the subcontinent to the internet.
Kat Hall, 28 Sep 2015
Elephone P8000

The pachyderm punch: El Reg takes just-over-a-ton Elephone P8000 to tusk

Review Every time The Register reviews a high-end, large-screen smartphone we get a comment or two about how for a quarter of the price you can get something similar from a no-name Chinese manufacturer.
Alun Taylor, 28 Sep 2015
The Mondoshawn, genetically perfect beings in <i>The Fifth Element</i>

NASA announcement of MAJOR MARS DISCOVERY imminent: WHAT can it be?

Poll The clock is counting down to NASA's imminent announcement as to just what the "major" discovery it has made on Mars could be.
Lewis Page, 28 Sep 2015

'We can handle politicos, OUR ISSUE IS JUDGES', shout GCHQ docs

Leaked internal documents from Blighty's mass-surveillance agency, GCHQ, shows that it frets not over parliamentary or political oversight ... but instead describes judicial oversight as "THE MAIN ISSUE FOR US".

NetApp slims down latest controller, beefs up channel efforts

NetApp has announced a slimmed down top-end array, cutting the controller box size in half.
Chris Mellor, 28 Sep 2015
willy wonka oompa loompa

You want a 6% Google Tax? Get lost, German copyright bods told

After months of deliberations, Germany's national arbitration board on copyright has told German copyright collection company VG Media to go whistle over its proposal for a six per cent “Google Tax”.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Sep 2015
Roughly 150kg of gold

Daisy Group joins Cisco ranks of Gold tier services slingers

Daisy Group is positively dripping in Cisco’s top level Gold accreditation, a move we predicted some months back.
Paul Kunert, 28 Sep 2015

'Disruptive Innovation'? Take this theory and stuff it: MIT Profs

Comment "Disruption" – Silicon Valley's favourite buzzword for intimidating other, profit-making parts of the economy – has taken a knock.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Sep 2015
Whitehall road sign. Sgt Tom Robinson RLC/Crown copyright

DfID becomes second ministry to SPURN Cabinet Office IT scheme

Exclusive The Department for International Development is the second Whitehall ministry to shun the Cabinet Office's major back office outsourcing deals, The Register can reveal.
Kat Hall, 28 Sep 2015

EU data protection chief: Snaffling all air traveller data goes too far

Europe’s data protection tsar has warned law-makers that collecting and storing information on all airline travellers risks breaching EU privacy laws.
Jennifer Baker, 28 Sep 2015

Mobile advertising DDoS JavaScript drip serves site with 4.5bn hits

CloudFlare has turned up an unusual form of denial-of-service attack: mobile advertisements that are pumping out around 275,000 HTTP requests per second.
Darren Pauli, 28 Sep 2015

Diskicide – the death of disk

How might disk death in the data center come about?
Chris Mellor, 28 Sep 2015

332M Kick Ass pirates get asses kicked by scareware ass-kickers

The world's most popular pirate torrent site KickAss Torrents is serving scareware advertising, helping dodgy call centre operators con users into handing over remote access to their machines.
Darren Pauli, 28 Sep 2015

Robot Romeo gets its 'antenna' snapped off in attempt to 'charm' testy American

A robotic Romeo, attempting to "charm" or "distract" its target, suffered damage to its antenna during an altercation with a man in North Carolina, according to media reports. The machine was an "elite member" of a specialist local police unit.
Lewis Page, 28 Sep 2015

Last week's cookie-vuln won't be the last, security bod says

In the wake of last week's cookie security warning, accomplished Polish penetration tester Dawid Czagan has dug up a separate issue with Apple's Safari.
Darren Pauli, 28 Sep 2015

Insult to injury: Researcher remote pwns RAT of cuffed FireEye VXer

Derbycon: PhishMe researcher Paul Burbage has added insult to injury for a former FireEye intern cum arrested VXer by showcasing how to thoroughly pwn his remote access trojan.
Darren Pauli, 28 Sep 2015
Selection of Australian banknotes

M2, Vocus merge to form down under’s newest billion-dollar telco

Fibre and data centre owner Vocus and consumer/business carrier and service provider M2 are merging to create what they are calling a “full-service vertically integrated telco”.
Bill Bennett, 28 Sep 2015
Cell tower, view from below. Image by

Sprint passes on premium spectrum

Sprint says it will not take part in next year’s 600 MHz auction in the USA.
Bill Bennett, 28 Sep 2015

AGD: silence about metadata retention plans is about security

The Attorney-General's Department has told The Register national security considerations lie behind it discouraging telcos and ISPs discussing their data retention plans.