The Week in Summary

Archer cracks the ISIS mainframe's password

Furious LastPass fans fear favorite tool's fate amid LogMeIn's gobble

LastPass has been acquired by LogMeIn, and people are none too happy about the deal.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Oct 2015
A Chinese laundry on the back streets of Shanghai

China cuffs hackers at US request to stave off sanctions

Hacking suspects have been arrested in China by the nation's authorities at the behest of the US government for the first time, The Washington Post reports.
John Leyden, 09 Oct 2015

What's not up, Docs? Google Docs goes titsup in time for Friday beers

It's not you – it's Google. The web giant's Docs cloud has fallen off the internet, leaving US office workers eyeing up the boozer early.
Chris Williams, 09 Oct 2015
Elon Musk

Who gets Teslas made and throws Apple shade? It's… MUSK!

Billionaire business mogul Elon Musk is taking some time away from his electric car and space exploration ventures to slag off Apple.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Oct 2015
Abbott and Costello dressed as policemen

EU justice ministers agree on police data-sharing law

European justice ministers on Friday reached an agreement on a new EU law governing how police agencies share information.
Jennifer Baker, 09 Oct 2015
Micron PCIe SSD

Micron pulls up its flash SOCs, slurps up Tidal

The Non-Volatile Memory Express technology wave is rising and Micron has bought Tidal Systems, an early stage NVMe PCIe controller developer.
Chris Mellor, 09 Oct 2015
Stock market. Pic: Alberto Carrasco Casado

Softcat hires Domino’s Pizza man as NED ahead of IPO

Softcat has hired former Domino’s Pizza beanie Lee Ginsberg as non-exec director ahead of its long awaited flotation on the London Stock Exchange.
Paul Kunert, 09 Oct 2015
Rafe Laguna, CEO of open source enterprise software company Open Xchange, addresses the audience. Pic by Andrew Orlowski

Google uses humans as Matrix-style ‘data batteries’ – Open Xchange CEO

OX Summit 2015 If any Americans are in doubt about what European technology business thinks of Silicon Valley’s data-slurping giants, it wouldn’t take them long to find out from a gathering in Berlin of European companies who look after personal data.
Andrew Orlowski, 09 Oct 2015

Oracle ZFS appliance sales hit $1 billion

Oracle blogs it’s sold more than a billion dollars’ worth of its ZFS appliance, with almost 15,000 systems installed by more than 5,000 customers.
Chris Mellor, 09 Oct 2015
Boats storm girl photo via Nikolina Mrakovic

Don't panic, biz bods: A guide to data in the post-Safe Harbor world

The Safe Harbor agreement this week suddenly became of interest to a lot more IT managers than had previously given a stuff about it.
Dave Cartwright, 09 Oct 2015
Fibre Optic by Barta IV cc 2.0 attribution

BT to shoot 'up to 330Mbps' into 2,000 Gosforth homes

BT customers in Gosforth, Newcastle, are being given a chance to test copper's last hurrah,

Ex-Logicalis UK boss Starkey signs up as EMC SDS biggie

Exclusive Former Logicalis UK boss Mark Starkey has crossed the fence into vendor land for the first time, rocking up as the lead for EMC’s software defined storage unit.
Paul Kunert, 09 Oct 2015

Playmobil cops broadside for 'racist' pirate slave

A California mother is less than impressed with a Playmobil pirate ship set which includes a dark-skinned figurine with a shackle around his neck.
Lester Haines, 09 Oct 2015
Tim Worstall victory dance at his Reg lecture

So how does an SQL background help you survive 2.5 years as a hostage?

Reg events If you’ve ever wondered how you’d cope under the sort of pressure that can crack the hardest of military nuts you’ll want to get along to our final lecture of 2015 on December 1.
Team Register, 09 Oct 2015
Sharon White, new head of Ofcom, former Second Perm Sec at the Treasury

Ofcom chief warns that carrier aggregation may be bad for consumers

Analysis The mergers of O2 and Three, and BT and EE, could drive prices up for consumers and be A Bad Thing.
Simon Rockman, 09 Oct 2015

Apple borks Apple News ad-blocking app due to 'privacy concerns'

Apple has confirmed having removed "a few apps" from the App Store, including Been® Choice - which blocked advertisements even within the native Apple News app - over what it claims are privacy concerns.

Hortonworks dismisses reports of Hadoop droop

Hadoop-pusher Hortonworks has dismissed reports by analyst house Gartner that the big data market is "yet to take off".
Kat Hall, 09 Oct 2015
British Transport Police cop. Pic: Gordon Joly

How much do UK cops pay for Microsoft licences? £30 a head or £137? Both

Coppers are wasting millions on negotiated software licences, with some forces paying more than four times more than other constabularies of a similar size for Oracle and Microsoft licences, The Register can reveal.
Kat Hall, 09 Oct 2015

Reseller SCC slurps up 'minority' stake in SIPCOM

Rigby Group, the parent of Midlands-based tech dynasty SCC, has acquired a minority stake in hosted voice and unified comms-as-a-service outfit SIPCOM.
Paul Kunert, 09 Oct 2015

Dell hooking up with EMC and going public again? Come off it

The rumour mill about a Dell-EMC deal is going hyper, with a $51bn takeover by Dell being mentioned. Is Elliott Management holding a gun to EMC's head?
Chris Mellor, 09 Oct 2015
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Noughty by nature: Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection and Rock Band 4

Game Theory It's the noughties all over again as two franchises from very different genres, Uncharted and Rock Band, are repackaged and re-released for a new generation of consoles.
Mike Plant, 09 Oct 2015
Sony's Z2 tablet is thin

The IT Pro generation gap strikes again

Study Readers are usually pretty quick to tell us when we use jargon in our surveys that we haven’t defined, and quite rightly so. We work in an industry that is riddled with language abuse, and marketeers who take liberties by redefining long-established terms and inventing buzzwords to make old stuff sound new.
Dale Vile, 09 Oct 2015

Oracle, SAP, IBM: They're rubbish and charge you billions for Excel, says man

Oracle and SAP have badly let down customers by charging them through the nose, while leaving them with nothing more than Excel spreadsheets to plan budgets, claims Frederic Layulaux, the chief executive of software-as-a-service outfit Anaplan.
Kat Hall, 09 Oct 2015
apple with ladybird

Exagrid, Simplivity and Zadara: Storage slowdown? Not for us

Comment Three storage startups claim they are still experiencing strong growth, even while mainstream vendors' revenue expansion remains disappointing.
Chris Mellor, 09 Oct 2015

Adobe to brick eight Acrobat, Reader flaws next Tuesday

Adobe will be brick over eight holes in a patch run next week.
Team Register, 09 Oct 2015 had classic security blunder in authentication engine

Synack senior security researcher Wesley Wineberg has received US$25,000 from Microsoft for quietly disclosing a bug that allows any Hotmail account to be hijacked.
Darren Pauli, 09 Oct 2015
Pluto in blue and red

NASA boffins on Pluto: We see skies of BLUE and... RED water ice

Pluto's skies are a lovely blue, NASA says, after releasing new data and colour-corrected images from the New Horizons mission's swing-past the former planet.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015

World's oldest person scoffs daily ration of bacon

The world's oldest person is living proof of the awesome power of bacon, having achieved supercentenarian status on a daily dose of sliced pork goodness.
Lester Haines, 09 Oct 2015
Singapore Post test drone

Singapore Post tests drone delivery services

Video Singapore's postal service has trialled delivery-by-drone.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015
Man with head in the cloud

Crypto cadre cloud-cracks SHA-1 with just $75k of compute cost

A crypto cadre has busted the SHA-1 security standard after using $US75,000 of cloud computing resources, handily undercutting conservative crypto cracking estimates and putting such an attack within reach of well-resourced groups.
Darren Pauli, 09 Oct 2015
HP Star Wars Laptop

HP creates laptop for SITH LORDS

HP will soon release a special Star Wars edition laptop it says will allow you to “Unleash your inner Sith”.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015
Firefox logo

Mozilla to boot all plugins from Firefox … except Flash

The Mozilla Foundation has revealed that some future versions of its flagship Firefox browser will ship without support for plugins of any sort.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015

PC shipments slump in Q3, thanks to free Windows 10

The world's personal computer factories could only shove just over 70 million machines out the door during 2015's third quarter, according to box-watchers IDC and Gartner.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015

Cops must get a warrant before raiding phones, email, etc (in California)

California has passed a law requiring police to obtain a warrant before searching phones, tablets, and other electronic devices, and accounts in cloud services, too.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Oct 2015
Turnbull's twitter feed by

Australian Prime Minister runs private email server

Australia's newly minted prime minister Malcolm Turnbull has admitted to running a private email server.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Oct 2015
Photo by Raido Kaldma

Whoever hacked Uber's driver database wasn't our CTO, says rival Lyft

Uber's sleuthing to find out who hacked its database of drivers has turned up an interesting snippet regarding its chief competitor, Lyft.
Iain Thomson, 09 Oct 2015

TRANSISTOR-GATE-GATE: Apple admits some iPhone 6Ses crappier than others

Apple has confessed that some iPhone 6Ses have worse battery life than others because their processors are made by two different chip bakers.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Oct 2015
Funnel of cash. Credit: via SXC –

Dell seeking $40 BEEELLION to buy EMC NEXT WEEK say reports

Dell is figuring out how to borrow the US$40 billion it would need to acquire EMC, according to reports quoting the usual folks familiar with the deal.
Simon Sharwood, 08 Oct 2015

Hey, Facebook – these are the new Like buttons you should have used

Pic + vid Facebook has announced a range of new buttons intended to give its users the ability to express a wider range of emotions – certainly wider than today's "Like."
Kieren McCarthy, 08 Oct 2015
Huge Clouds Ocean

The do-it-all storage giant is dying: Clouds loom over on-prem IT

Comment The days of the massive standalone storage company are coming to a close, as the public cloud and myriad storage startups drive cumulatively fatal wounds deep into the heart of the one-supplier-does-all-your-storage business model.
Chris Mellor, 08 Oct 2015
Wife dressed as nurse administers last act of mercy

Phone-fondling docs, nurses sling patient info around willy-nilly

UK doctors and nurses routinely share sensitive patient information via their smartphones, we're told.
John Leyden, 08 Oct 2015
Amazon Web Services

AWS throws the lever on monster 2TB X1 for in-memory databases

Amazon Web Services (AWS) has unleashed a handful of new service options on the second day of its re:Invent conference in Las Vegas.
Shaun Nichols, 08 Oct 2015

Maker–NOT: 3D printer upstart Makerbot jams, cuts extra 20% of staff

Troubled 3D printer manufacturer Makerbot has announced a second round of layoffs, cutting a further 20 per cent of its staff as part of a major restructuring.
Iain Thomson, 08 Oct 2015

Now even EUROPE is slapping down ICANN in internet power struggle

European governments and internet registries have sent a stinging message to the board of domain name overseer ICANN warning it to stop trying to avoid limits on its absolute authority.
Kieren McCarthy, 08 Oct 2015

Smartmobe brain maker Qualcomm teases 64-bit ARM server chip secrets

Qualcomm, the maker of processors for Nexus smartphones and other mobes and tablets, has revealed early specifications for its upcoming server chips.
Chris Williams, 08 Oct 2015
European commission photo via Shutterstock

Time to lop off Europe's confusing IT rules, says pressure group

EU lawmakers will be pressed for clearer rules on software licensing, support contracts from IT vendors, and intellectual property by the Campaign for Clear Licensing (CCL).
Gavin Clarke, 08 Oct 2015
VW Scirocco logo

VW offices, employees' homes raided by German prosecutors

As European officials dither about new emissions rules, German prosecutors got real and raided Volkswagen's headquarters on Thursday.
Jennifer Baker, 08 Oct 2015
NSA parody T-shirt

PGP Zimmermann: 'You want privacy? Well privacy costs MONEY'

IP EXPO 2015 Delivering a keynote in London today, the famous inventor of PGP complained that consumers want privacy for free, forcing his company Silent Circle to focus on selling secure telephony to enterprises - while he would like to see it more widely employed.

ICANN: Just give us the keys to the internet – or the web will disintegrate

Domain system overseer ICANN has embarked on a campaign of fear and fuzzy logic in its latest bid to seize control of the internet from the US government without agreeing to limits on its power.
Kieren McCarthy, 08 Oct 2015

FBI inks deal with Dell and Nutanix for embiggenable mutants

The FBI is spending $28m on hyper-converged Dell systems, running Nutanix software, for 55,000 virtual desktop users.
Chris Mellor, 08 Oct 2015
Register Vulture logo - grey

CORRECTION: Stone Computers

In our article dated 28 September 2015 entitled "High Court judge deciding future of Stone Computers - Will someone please think of the customers", we incorrectly reported that “The future of Stone Computers will be decided by a High Court judge who could rule to place the entire group of companies into administration”. This was incorrect. Stone Computers Limited (SCL) is not in any form of insolvency process and is not the subject of any application to Court. SCL is a separate legal entity, which is not insolvent under any of the definitions within the Insolvency Act 1986. As such, any decision of the Court in relation to Stone Bidco Limited (in Administration) will not affect SCL or its trading position. We regret any confusion caused by our previous inaccuracy.
Team Register, 08 Oct 2015
VW Scirocco logo

Exposed Volkswagen 'n' pals get 2 more YEARS to sort out emissions

Despite the Volkswagen emissions cheating scandal and a pledge as far back as 2010, the European Commission will not impose real world emissions limits on car makers until 2017.
Jennifer Baker, 08 Oct 2015
Woman slaps man. Pic: Shutterstock

Webcam spyware voyeur sentenced to community service

A UK voyeur who hacked webcams to spy on victims has avoided going to prison for his crimes.
John Leyden, 08 Oct 2015
AWS Senor VP Andy Jassy shows off web services growth

AWS jabs at rivals, proclaims cloud the 'new normal'

AWS Reinvent "This is not intended to be a sales and marketing conference, it’s really intended to be an education and training conference," said Amazon Web Services (AWS) Senior VP Andy Jassy at the keynote for Reinvent under way in Las Vegas. Yet marketing dominated his keynote as he jabbed at competitors.
Tim Anderson, 08 Oct 2015

New mystery Windows-smashing RAT found in corporate network

Malware man Yotam Gottesman has found a somewhat mysterious remote access Trojan on a corporate network that sports highly capable evasion techniques.
Team Register, 08 Oct 2015

Vodafone joins calls to pry Openreach from BT's hands

+Comment The political ding-dong over prising broadband biz Openreach out of BT’s hands entered another round today with the release of a Vodafone-commissioned report on the £6.5bn in “excessive profits” BT has been making from the UK broadband market.
Simon Rockman, 08 Oct 2015

Understand 'Safe Harbor', Schrems v Facebook in under 300 words

'Safe Harbor' is now defunct because the European Court of Justice found the following:

Quantum sells so much product that its earnings might shrink

Quantum says it will make lower revenues than expected this quarter because it sold too many products and its supply chain couldn't keep up.
Chris Mellor, 08 Oct 2015
Max Schrems

'Safe Harbor': People in Europe 'can get quite litigious about this'

Both small and large US data centre companies are walking "headlong into a legislative buzzsaw" following a landmark 'Safe Harbor' ruling this week, the founder of database software company NuoDB, Barry Morris, has said.
Kat Hall, 08 Oct 2015

LoopPay hackers may have wanted magnetic card-swipe tech

Samsung’s mobile payment system supplier, LoopPay, was hacked back in March this year, it has emerged.
John Leyden, 08 Oct 2015
ER/Studio, one of Embarcadero's database tools

Microsoft tool-crafter Idera buys database, app firm Embarcadero

Idera, a provider of monitoring and administration tools for Microsoft's SQL Server, is to acquire Embarcadero from private equity company Thoma Bravo. The terms have not been disclosed.
Tim Anderson, 08 Oct 2015
The new Surface 3

HP boss hopes MS Surface Book will jack up notebook prices

Canalys Channels Forum HP Inc’s boss welcomed Microsoft’s foray into the high-end notebook market this week, if it helped vendors push up price tags across the board.
Joe Fay, 08 Oct 2015
Vintage BBC experimental colour transmission testcard section

4K catches fire with OTT streamers, while broadcasters burn

Breaking Fad Like dentophobes with toothache, the broadcast elite seem grimly determined not to face up to the inevitable. A post International Broadcasting Convention conference about Ultra HD, organised by satellite operator SES, offered scant evidence that any of the big European broadcasters are in a mood to commit to 4K services.
Steve May, 08 Oct 2015
The puppets from Team America: World Police gather at a bar for drinks.

Team Microsoft: Device Police... 'Are you pumped? I'm pumped'

Analysis “Someone out there must have a family,” Panos Panay remarked yesterday, surveying his audience of potato-shaped gadget bloggers. An optimistic view, I thought. Panay was presenting Microsoft’s Devices event in New York, an event designed to get bloggers’ juices running.
Andrew Orlowski, 08 Oct 2015

Who’s ready for an objective object lesson in object storage?

IBM is planning to acquire CleverSafe, HGST bought Amplidata a while ago, and RedHat did the same with Ceph 18 months ago. If you put this information alongside the fact that disk shipments are doing very well, even when compared with Flash, it’s no wonder object storage is so hot right now.

NASA offers free access to its patents for startup entrepreneurs

Seemingly bored of rockets, NASA is launching its Startup program, in which it will license its technologies to entrepreneurs with no up-front payment.
HMRC photo,

Online VAT fraud: Calls for government crackdown grow louder

Calls to crack down on companies selling goods online in the UK without declaring VAT have gathered pace, with a peer and another high profile individual now voicing their concerns that the practice is damaging UK business.
Kat Hall, 08 Oct 2015

DDoS defences spiked by CloudPiercer tool - paper

The real IP addresses of some 70 per cent of websites protected by popular distributed denial of service attack protection providers like CloudFlare, Prolexic and Incapsula can be revealed using a simple web tool built on newly uncovered flaws, according to a recent paper.
Darren Pauli, 08 Oct 2015
Hyundai Android Auto

Porsche-gate: Android Auto isn't slurping tons of engine data, claims Google – but questions remain

Google has flatly denied that its Android Auto car dashboard software slurps too much information from vehicle engines.
Iain Thomson, 08 Oct 2015
Ethernet by CC2.0 attribution

HP and pals release open source switch OS

HP, Intel, VMware, Broadcom and pals have released a new, open-source, network operating system (NOS).
Simon Sharwood, 08 Oct 2015

Tiny Robot Smartphone: Invasion Earth 2016 – prepare to be facially recognised humans

Japanese electronics firm Sharp has presented a prototype smartphone which is also a functioning tiny robot.

Talk revealing p0wnable surveillance cams pulled after legal threat

Hack in the Box Swiss researcher Gianni Gnesa says the most popular network surveillance cameras currently sold on Amazon contain easy remote exploitable vulnerabilities that allow hackers to gain admin access and quietly peer through lenses.
Darren Pauli, 08 Oct 2015

America's top courts may have to prove how truly dull they are by law

Four members of the US Congress will unveil a law bill on Thursday that would ensure hearings in the nation's highest courts are streamed online.
Shaun Nichols, 08 Oct 2015
Windows 10 floppy disk

Windows 10 mobile upgrade coming in December

Microsoft has slipped out news that an upgrade to Windows 10 on mobile devices will land in December.
Simon Sharwood, 08 Oct 2015
Web browsers 2015

To save mobile web, we must destroy JavaScript, HTML and CSS

Alphabet's ads, search and cloud subsidiary Google has announced an open source project it hopes will speed web page load times on mobile devices: Accelerated Mobile Pages.
Simon Sharwood, 08 Oct 2015

Post-Stuxnet hack group builds formidable LinkedIn phish network

An accomplished Iran-based attack group known as "Cleaver" has created a network of at least 25 well-developed LinkedIn profiles to assist a social engineering campaign hitting targets across the Middle East.
Darren Pauli, 08 Oct 2015
storage arrays superimposed on cloudy sky

Microsoft starts backup of on-prem workloads and desktops to Azure

Microsoft has announced it will now offer backups of on-premises SQL Server, Hyper-V virtual machines, SharePoint Server, Microsoft Exchange and windows clients to Azure.
Simon Sharwood, 08 Oct 2015
AWS Snowball appliance

Disk boxes, security tools, etc: What Amazon announced at its AWS shindig on Wednesday

Amazon Web Services (AWS) kicked off its annual re:Invent conference on Wednesday with the introduction of a handful of new additions to its cloud computing service.
Shaun Nichols, 08 Oct 2015
Ben Affleck

Forget Ben Affleck – US, Euro boffins to SMASH spaceship into asteroid

NASA and the European Space Agency (ESA) are working out how to use spacecraft to stop asteroids smashing into planets – Earth in particular.
Iain Thomson, 07 Oct 2015
Toilet roll printed with fake US $100 bills

EMC and Dell considering 'a combination' – report

Update EMC and Dell are considering “a combination”, says The Wall Street Journal.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015
Man thumbs down, image via Shutterstock

So Pure Storage did its IPO thing and investors blinked – now what?

Comment Pure Storage shares went on sale at about $17 today, valuing the all-flash array startup at roughly $3bn.
Chris Mellor, 07 Oct 2015
How it might look when the SpaceIL launches

Israeli lander FOUND ON MOON (in 2017)

Pics SpaceIL has signed a deal to send a lander to the Moon – making the Israeli non-profit the first competitor in Google's $30m Lunar XPrize contest to ink a rocket launch contract.
Simon Rockman, 07 Oct 2015

Microsoft, the VW family sedan of IT, wants to be tech's new Rolls-Royce

Analysis If there's one message that stands out from Microsoft's big device day launch on Tuesday it's this: stop thinking about Redmond as the cheap option, because it wants to be seen as the premium brand.
Iain Thomson, 07 Oct 2015
Wile E. Coyote goes over the edge again

Strike one – First net neutrality gripe against an ISP is nixed by FCC

What is believed to be the first complaint that a telco is breaking America's new net neutrality rules has been rejected.
Kieren McCarthy, 07 Oct 2015
AOL logos

Verizon now owns AOL, so AOL now owns your web browsing habits, other personal info

US telco giant Verizon has given notice it will be providing information on its subscribers to AOL for targeted advertising.
Shaun Nichols, 07 Oct 2015
Sad Android

Ad-slinging rootkit nasty permanently drills into Android mobes, tabs

Security researchers have uncovered malware that infects deep inside Android devices, spams screens with pop-up adverts, and obeys commands from its masters across the internet.
John Leyden, 07 Oct 2015
Fountain pen

Silicon Valley fights European Court of Justice ruling with small print

Robbed of their Safe Harbour protection, US cloud giants are taking shelter behind a new data-export and privacy fig leaf.
Gavin Clarke, 07 Oct 2015
Max Schrems

EU desperately pushes just-as-dodgy safe harbour alternatives

Despite EU vice president Frans Timmermans' impressive efforts at spin yesterday, the European Commission finds itself in an awkward position today after the European Court of Justice struck down the safe harbour arrangement.
Jennifer Baker, 07 Oct 2015

HP won't squeeze itself into 3D printer consumer market

Canalys Channels Forum HP is on track to launch into the 3D printing market next year, but don’t expect to be printing off your own plastic goodies anytime soon.
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015

DevOps tools: The beginner's guide to Chef

In the DevOps model, developers and system operators work closely together throughout the software development process to deploy software more frequently and more reliably. Many new third party and proprietary tools have been developed to support automation, measurement and sharing.
Kat McIvor, 07 Oct 2015
ISIS fighters

US Treasury: How did ISIS get your trucks? Toyota: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The US Treasury's terrorism financing department has launched an enquiry into the fleet of Toyota trucks which feature prominently in ISIS propaganda videos.
Container ship, photo via Dmitry Chulov Shutterstock

Teradata's moon-on-a-stick approach: Floats on AWS and Microsoft Azure

Teradata is throwing its enterprise-class analytics database onto the public cloud, starting with rival Amazon and then Microsoft’s Azure.
Gavin Clarke, 07 Oct 2015
Looks like DNA

Trio take Nobel Prize in Chemistry for ‘pioneering’ DNA repair study

Nobel Prize 2015 The chemistry Nobel Prize has been awarded to Tomas Lindahl, Paul Modrich, and Aziz Sancar, with a citation "for mechanistic studies of DNA repair".
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Speaking in Tech: Amazon wants all your data ... on a disk

Podcast Podcast Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Sarah is out but Amy Lewis sits in with Greg and Ed to discuss AWS, the move to Big Data, VMware and Apple parting ways, and cloud app protection.
Team Register, 07 Oct 2015
Samsung Galaxy S6

Samsung forgets Galaxy worries, surprises analysts with big numbers

Despite the Galaxy 6 and its kin – Plus, Edge, Edge Plus – tanking, Samsung Electronics has posted impressive numbers for the third quarter, substantially higher than analysts had predicted, leading to a jump in the share price.
Simon Rockman, 07 Oct 2015
Rows of Gummi Bears in military formation. Author: Institute for Web Science and Technologies, University of Koblenz-Landau. Licensed under CC 3.0

The tyranny of choice: Why enterprise tech buyers are confused

Canalys Channels Forum The tech industry has left users punch-drunk with choice with the ever-increasing complexity of the technology offering being one reason for the recent sluggish IT market.
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015
Broken piggy bank with coins surrounding it. Image via Shutterstock

Cheap money underpins the new wave of cloud software companies

Canalys Channels Forum The long-expected inevitable rise in interest rates will create upheaval in the cloud, with traditional IT companies able to play to their strengths of deep relationships with serious customers.
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015
Uber launch party by CC2.0 sharelalike attribution

Join Uber in a tale of rent seeking and employment law

Worstall on Wednesday Dabbsy was chuntering on about Uber and TfL finally deigning to take note of the regulations under which they should offer services, and it reminded me that we've got three lovely pieces of economics wrapped up in this whole sharing economy story.
Tim Worstall, 07 Oct 2015

Shuttle bus firm Terravision belatedly adopts https for credit card sales

The pro-privacy 'https everywhere' campaign is gaining traction, but one e-commerce site is only just adopting the long-established technology in order to keep credit card details safe.
John Leyden, 07 Oct 2015

Autonomy 'poisoned the well' for businesses seeking VC cash

HP's ill-fated Autonomy acquisition has 'poisoned the well' for other enterprise search outfits seeking an injection of venture capitalist cash, Patrick White, the head of start-up Synata, has said.
Kat Hall, 07 Oct 2015
Robert Baden-Powell, Chief Scout. Pic: Matt Brown, Flickr

Scout Association's shelved database won't be back until next year

The Scout Association has further delayed the date for restoring its troubled Compass database, which contains the details of 450,000 young people and volunteer adults.
Kat Hall, 07 Oct 2015

Factory settings FAIL: Data easily recovered from eBayed smartphones, disks

Data recovery experts have found a raft personal information from used hard drives and mobile phones purchased from Amazon, eBay and Gazelle in the UK, US and Germany.
John Leyden, 07 Oct 2015
Jamie Bartlett delivering Register Summer Lecture

Reg lecture asks what’s so scary about 1.5 tonnes of metal with a mind of its own?

Reg events The technology to run driverless cars is ready. Whether humans are ready for driverless cars is quite another matter.
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015

Alleged Anonymous-aiding journo's brief tells jury nowt's been proven

The lawyer representing a journalist accused of aiding Anonymous hackers informed a jury on Tuesday that the prosecution "had not proven the criminal charges it filed over the incident".

Top telematics: Black box helps driver swerve speeding fine

Motoring campaigner Neil Herron has beaten a mobile police speed trap rap by using the threat of revealing his own GPS-based telematics data in court.
Simon Rockman, 07 Oct 2015
Wedding cake. Pic: Tracy Hunter

Like a wedding cake: Avere unveils three-tier AWS cloud NAS

Avere is punting a three tier filer in the AWS cloud using its virtual FXT filer accelerator software.
Chris Mellor, 07 Oct 2015

Apollo 15 commander's lunar timepiece goes under the hammer

A watch worn by Apollo 15 commander Dave R. Scott on the surface of the Moon goes under the hammer later this month, and could sell for a cool $1m.
Lester Haines, 07 Oct 2015

French upstart Rozo: Magic beans will help us become storage giant

A French startup reckons it has the best software technology for scale-out filers because of its bean counter-style erasure coding.
Chris Mellor, 07 Oct 2015

Microsoft, Tesla, build battery that knows how much (energy) you suck

Engineers from Microsoft, Tesla, and Columbia and Massachusetts universities have teamed up to develop what on paper looks like a revolution in consumer battery technology that meets demands for fast charge, long life, and the ability to bend.
Darren Pauli, 07 Oct 2015
VW Scirocco logo

Volkswagen Australia says 77,000 local diesels need software fix

Volkswagen Australia has revealed that 77,000 vehicles in Australia carry the emissions-fudging software that has plunged the company into crisis.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015

Sanbolic smoke ball was no mere puff: Citrix preps new Melio release

Citrix says it's ready to let customers loose on its software-defined storage play.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015
Julian Assange and Harrods golf ball

Assange™ offered 'plans for escape by flying fox to Harrods'

Couch-surfer extraordinaire Julian Assange has granted an interview to Australian breakfast radio program “Kyle and Jackie O” in which he characterises his stint in the Ecuadorian embassy as a “siege” and reveals he has banned smartphones at the Ecuadorian embassy as he assumes they are all surveilled.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015
Childhood's End


The European Space Agency set eyes a-bulge on Tuesday when it distributed an email with the subject line: "Aliens observed".
A fake tattoo on the leg of Canberra Raiders footballer Sandor Earl, sent by Huawei as an April Fool

Remote code exec hijack hole found in Huawei 4G USB modems

Positive Technologies researchers Timur Yunusov and Kirill Nesterov have found since-patched remote execution and denial of service vulnerabilities in a popular Huawei 4G USB modem that can allow attackers to hijack connected computers.
Darren Pauli, 07 Oct 2015
EMC NetWorker 9

EMC NetWorker 9 emerges from obscurity

Australian backup blogger Preston de Guise has been able to take version nine of EMC's NetWorker backup software for a spin.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015

Now it's the security industry's turn to be burned by cloud

Amazon has launched web application firewall to help customers guard against common web exploits.
Team Register, 07 Oct 2015

CSC in US$300m Australian services slurp

CSC is going shopping in Australia, dangling a cheque for AU$428m (US$305m, £200m) to the shareholders of services company UXC.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015

Hillary 'spear fish' more 'drag net' flung to 11,000 others in one day

US Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was one of possibly hundreds of thousands to have received allegedly targeted malware sent by Russian hackers.
Darren Pauli, 07 Oct 2015

Robin flies into storage aviary: Will it soar, or is it just winging it?

A new robin has landed in the storage startup tree, whose song promises to clear up the sprawling horrible inefficient mess that is today's Big Data munching and analysing customer IT infrastructure. If that strikes a chord then read on.
Chris Mellor, 07 Oct 2015

Sysadmins can forget PC management skills, says Microsoft

Microsoft has announced it will retire the MCSE (Microsoft Certified Solutions Expert) certification dedicated to “Desktop Infrastructure”.
Simon Sharwood, 07 Oct 2015
The new Pirate Bay logo

Swedish govt appeals court decision guarding domain

The Swedish government has decided to appeal a court decision that protected the domain names used by torrent-search site The Pirate Bay from being suspended.
Kieren McCarthy, 07 Oct 2015

Shutterbug drone biz fined $1.9m for buzzing New York City, Chicago

The US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has slapped a record fine on a photography company accused of conducting more than five dozen unauthorized drone flights.
Shaun Nichols, 07 Oct 2015

Google .supplies .cheap web .properties with 90 top-level .domains to .world via .partners

Fresh from an embarrassing glitch in its system that saw an ex-employee seemingly register, the search giant is now selling domain names with 90 top-level domains to choose from – such as .business, .world and .gripe.
Kieren McCarthy, 06 Oct 2015
Vulture velo jersey detail

Vulture-branded LYCRA can be yours, if you're feeling charitable

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a very nasty disease. It takes most of its victims young and attacks their central nervous system. Severity and symptoms vary, but the disease progressively disables sufferers and eventually kills them.
Team Register, 06 Oct 2015

Meego, webOS, Sailfish OS, and now Firefox OS: Ex-Nokia man Jaaksi joins Mozilla

Mozilla has appointed ex-Nokia man Ari Jaaksi as its new senior veep of connected devices.
Neil McAllister, 06 Oct 2015
Microsoft Band

Microsoft updates Band semi-smartwatch for fitness fanatics

While Microsoft has been bigging up its Surface tablet/laptop rollout, Lumia phones, and HoloLens suite, there was still room for a few add-ons, notably its Band fitness tracker.
Iain Thomson, 06 Oct 2015
Road block

AD-NNIHILATION: Apple-approved iOS tool blocks ALL ads in apps, Safari, Apple News

A new tool approved by Apple and added to the iOS App Store blocks ads in Safari – and, if you trust the tool's makers, even in-app ads and banners in Apple's own software.
Shaun Nichols, 06 Oct 2015
Rotary phone

Netflix launch brings Australia's biggest ever download deluge

The arrival of Netflix in Australia has brought with it the largest-ever spike in downloads recorded in Australia.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015
Lumia 950 XL

Worker drones don't need PCs says Microsoft, give 'em phones instead

Windows Phone has had a very rocky history, but Microsoft thinks it may have found a winning strategy to get its handsets into the business market – let them be PCs.
Iain Thomson, 06 Oct 2015
sony semiconductors

Sony prepares to lop off semiconductor biz

Sony is reorganizing its devices division, and spinning off its semiconductor business.
Shaun Nichols, 06 Oct 2015
Surface Book

Surface Book: Microsoft to turn unsuccessful tab into unsuccessful laptop

As expected, Microsoft has updated its Surface Pro fondleslab with a new model powered by Intel's latest silicon. But unexpectedly, it has also produced a laptop version of the platform that is going to make Apple sick.
Iain Thomson, 06 Oct 2015

White House 'deeply disappointed' by Europe outlawing Silicon Valley

The US government is "deeply disappointed" by the European Court of Justice's decision to effectively kill the long-standing "safe harbor" agreement covering the flow of people's personal data across the Atlantic.
Kieren McCarthy, 06 Oct 2015

Cisco hooks Angler Exploit Kit infrastructure

Security researchers at Cisco have struck a blow against crooks behind the notorious Angler Exploit Kit, blocking or re-routing access around dangerous domains on the interwebs.
John Leyden, 06 Oct 2015

US Cyber Command floats $460m contract to outsource most of itself

The United States' Cyber Command has floated a $460m contract to outsource pretty much all of its duties, as the nation seeks to bulk up its offensive cyberspace capabilities.

Rackspace turns into a fanatical AWS cloud-flinger

Managed cloud computing company Rackspace will now sell and support Amazon’s mighty AWS, echoing a similar partnership with Microsoft.
Gavin Clarke, 06 Oct 2015

Teenage backup biz Code42 gets cash bonanza

End-point backer-upper, file-sharer and security monitor Code42 has just raised a huge chunk of cash to grow its business into the big time.
Chris Mellor, 06 Oct 2015
Project X-ray for HoloLens

Microsoft's HoloLens: Here by 2016, mere three THOUSAND dollar price

Microsoft has been showing off its latest toys at a New York press conference – and HoloLens is looking likely to be out by the end of next year.
Iain Thomson, 06 Oct 2015

Safe harbour ruling: RELAX, Facebook and Google will be FINE!

The European Court of Justice’s decision to rule the EU-US safe harbour agreement invalid is causing panic among some companies dependent on keeping data flows going ... but Google and Facebook are probably prepared for it.
Jennifer Baker, 06 Oct 2015

Phone thieves to face harsher penalties for data theft

New laws which value the “emotional harm” of a crime could be brought to bear in mobile theft.
Simon Rockman, 06 Oct 2015

Miss Brittany dethroned for posting 'nude' Facebook pics

The reign of this year's Miss Brittany, Eugénie Journée, was only marginally longer than that of Prince Louis-Antoine, Duke of Angoulême, after the 23-year-old was stripped of her title as a result of posting rule-busting "nude" photos of herself on Facebook.
Lester Haines, 06 Oct 2015
Patrick McGoohan as The Prisoner in "Fall Out"

Edward Snowden denies making a deal with the Russian secret service

Former NSA contractor Edward Snowden has not done a deal with the Russian state security agency to acquire political asylum, the whistleblower revealed in a television version of a BBC interview.
John Leyden, 06 Oct 2015
Solar filament eruption of August 31, 2012

THIS is MASSIVE! Less-Masslessness neutrino boffins bag Physics Nobel

The Nobel Prize in Physics 2015 has been awarded to Takaaki Kajita of the University of Tokyo, and Arthur B McDonald of Queen's University in Canada, with a citation "for the discovery of neutrino oscillations, which shows that neutrinos have mass".
Cash on scales. Pic: Images Money, Flickr

Oracle swaps around its licence police bods' top ranks

Oracle’s mighty software enforcement unit is now under new management in the UK, Israel and Ireland.
Gavin Clarke, 06 Oct 2015

Silicon Valley now 'illegal' in Europe: Why Schrems vs Facebook is such a biggie

Analysis Today's victory by Austrian privacy advocate Max Schrems in the European Court has massive repercussions for how the superpowers make law, and how Silicon Valley conducts business. And it may only get worse for America's data processing giants, very soon. Microsoft is challenging the notion that the world's data is by default also the US's data - an idea with inconvenient repercussions for Microsoft, but perhaps more inconvenient repercussions for Microsoft's rivals.
Andrew Orlowski, 06 Oct 2015
Windows 10

'One Windows' crunch time: Microsoft tempts with glittery new devices

Microsoft is announcing new Windows 10 devices at an event in New York today. This is crunch time for the “One Windows” strategy, the idea that presenting developers with something like a single platform across many device types will stimulate a strong ecosystem of applications.
Tim Anderson, 06 Oct 2015

TERROR in the Chernobyl DEAD ZONE: LIFE - of a WILD kind - BURGEONS

The Chernobyl "Dead Zone": a terrible wasteland swept clean of life by a foolish humanity's meddling in things best left alone. Or is it?
Lewis Page, 06 Oct 2015

Rights groups: Darn you Facebook with your 'government names'

The ZuckerBorg's continued refusal to assimilate anyone who won't provide their "real" name to the site has provoked an angry letter from 75 human rights, digital rights, LGBTQ and women's rights advocates.
Speedy Gonzales surrounded by cheese

EU flings cash from €80bn pot at Seagate-led HPC storage project

+Comment Data storage giant Seagate is launching a SAGE European Exascale HPC project with nine partners to find ways for storage systems to work with exascale compute mills, as part of a multi-billion-dollar EU research and innovation programme.
Chris Mellor, 06 Oct 2015

French hacks go after new surveillance law … with the help of the ECHR

A collection of French journos have teamed up to take a new surveillance law to the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), claiming it infringes "the rights and freedoms of journalists".
Jennifer Baker, 06 Oct 2015
GCHQ Benhall doughnut aerial view

GCHQ's exploding doughnut threatens to ooze into innocent field

GCHQ's £330m headquarters in Gloucestershire, which was built in 2003, is already inadequate for the jam-packed Doughnut's workers – leading the agency to apply for planning permission to build more offices on its car park.
Google Chromecast 2

Google Chromecast 2015: Puck-on-a-string fun ... why not, for £30?

Review OK, so we all know what Google’s Chromecast is, yes? Someone at the back – why are they always at the back – seems unsure. In a sentence, then, Chromecast is a small Wi-Fi-connected slug that you slip into a spare HDMI port on your TV, and which plays video and audio under the direction of a remote control app.
Tony Smith, 06 Oct 2015

Safe Harbour ruled INVALID: Facebook 'n' pals' data slurp at risk

In a landmark ruling that will have far-reaching repercussions, Europe’s highest court has ruled that data sharing between the EU and US under the Safe Harbour framework is invalid.
Jennifer Baker, 06 Oct 2015

If the Internet of Things scares you now: Cisco's CEO is bent on hooking up robots, EVERYTHING

On Monday, in his first major speech as new CEO of Cisco, Chuck Robbins was clear about one thing. He pretty much wants everything on Earth to be networked and connected together.
Chris Williams, 06 Oct 2015

Avast antivirus hole patched after public Project Zero slap

Google Project Zero hacker Tavis Ormandy has found a since-patched vulnerability in Avast antivirus that allows attackers to gain remote code execution privileges.
Team Register, 06 Oct 2015

GCHQ's SMURF ARMY can hack smartphones, says Snowden. Again.

Whistleblower Edward Snowden has given an interview to BBC investigative programme Panorama in which he's added further detail on an array of tools named after the Smurfs* that allow UK intelligence agencies to hack smartphones.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015

Potent OWA backdoor scores 11,000 corporate creds from single biz

Security researchers Yonatan Striem-Amit and Yoav Orot say attackers have cooked a dangerous backdoor capable of hosing organisations using Microsoft Outlook Web Access (OWA).
Darren Pauli, 06 Oct 2015
Carrie Fisher in Return of the Jedi

GENUINE STARSHIP as used by PRINCESS LEIA sold for just $450k

Princess Leia's CR90 Corvette, also known as the Rebel blockade runner, has been sold at a Los Angeles auction for $450,000.
Team Register, 06 Oct 2015
A beautiful new Cisco vuln report

Cisco reforms its security disclosure process

Cisco has reformed the way it discloses vulnerabilities in its products.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015
basho logo

NoSQL pioneer Basho stamps its mark on time stamp data with Riak TS

The Riak NoSQL database is now available in a version capable of processing vast gobbets of Internet of Things data sources at high speed.
Drew Cullen, 06 Oct 2015
Linus Torvalds flips the bird

Linux kernel dev who asked Linus Torvalds to stop verbal abuse quits over verbal abuse

Sarah Sharp, the maintainer of USB 3.0 drivers in the Linux Kernel who in July 2013 urged Linux overlord Linus Torvalds to stop abusing fellow developers, has quit all Linux-related work.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015
Quantum logic gate

Australian boffins say Quantum Pentiums are on the horizon

Australian boffins have overcome one of quantum computing's big problems by building a gate comprised of two qubits in silicon, using techniques very similar to those used to manufacture whatever device you're using to read this story.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015
Android icon desktop toys

Google bugle sounds patch release for Android Stagefright 2.0

Google is slinging new patches at the Stagefright Android-goring vulnerability revealed last week.
Darren Pauli, 06 Oct 2015
Windows 10 floppy disk

If you wanted Windows 10, it looks like you've already installed it

Windows 10 looks to have won about seven per cent of the world's desktop operating system market.
Simon Sharwood, 06 Oct 2015
TOR Logo

Fast, wireless access to Tor? Just maybe

Portable Tor routers have a serious image problem. But one of only two companies to have actually done it right plans to fix that.Should you believe the hype this time around? Quite possibly, yes.
Kieren McCarthy, 06 Oct 2015
Android 6 Marshmallow Logo

Chocolate Factory plops Marshmallow on Android slabs

Google has posted the Android 6.0 Marshmallow update for its Nexus devices.
Shaun Nichols, 06 Oct 2015
Cisco TiVo PVR

Cisco Australia bumps prices by 12.83 per cent, for second time this year

Cisco Australia is raising its prices by 12.83 per cent, making this the second such rise for the year after a March price increase of 12 per cent.
Simon Sharwood, 05 Oct 2015
Censored Stamp

Scary Trans-Pacific Partnership trade treaty signed off

The Trans-Pacific partnership, a 12-nation trade treaty negotiated in secret and thought to contain copyright nasties, is all but done.
Simon Sharwood, 05 Oct 2015

Microsoft's big Tuesday reveal: New mobiles and slabs? Win 10 shock?

Microsoft has scheduled one of its biggest press conferences of the year on Tuesday in New York, and The Register will be there for the show. But leaks ahead of time suggest we'll be seeing a lot of new hardware and possibly a few software tricks as well.
Iain Thomson, 05 Oct 2015

Lawyers win big in LinkedIn's $13m email spam lawsuit (you might get $10, maybe more)

Lawyers tasked with doling out LinkedIn's $13m "Add Connections" class-action settlement are advising people to collect their share of the payout.
Shaun Nichols, 05 Oct 2015

IBM gobbles storage upstart Cleversafe

IBM is buying object storage startup Cleversafe for an undisclosed amount of cash or shares.
Chris Mellor, 05 Oct 2015

Guess who owns and – clue: definitely not Netflix

Netflix has failed in its attempt to shut down two namesake domain names, in the most peculiar circumstances.
Kieren McCarthy, 05 Oct 2015

Pocket mobe butt dialing clogs up 911 emergency calls, says Google

Researchers with Google have found that accidental "butt dial" calls from mobile phones are creating a headache for emergency call centers.
Shaun Nichols, 05 Oct 2015

Startup promises to cancel your hated Comcast subscription for you for just $5

Free marketeers would be proud; a startup in the US has just started up to deal with one of the toughest and most frustrating corporate trials – cancelling a Comcast subscription.
Iain Thomson, 05 Oct 2015
Parachutists and cloud image via Shutterstock

Amazon Web Services customers love hybrid clouds (true)

The public cloud is the only cloud and anything else is a pale imitation, according to Amazon. But customers appear seem unconvinced, with most running or intending to run a mixture of private and public clouds sourced from multiple vendors.
Drew Cullen, 05 Oct 2015
management consumerisation

Veritas-free Symantec: what is glittery and easier to slip into?

Efforts to jump start revenue growth at Symantec started today with a revamped channel programme that threatens to shower third party sellers with more cash, coughed more frequently.
Paul Kunert, 05 Oct 2015

Rise of der Maschinen: Daimler trials ROBOT LORRY in Germany

Daimler has sent out a robot-chauffeured lorry on German motorways for the first time.
Twitter for Mac New

Ex-CEO of Twitter Jack Dorsey is new CEO of Twitter Jack Dorsey

The ex-CEO of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, who has been the interim CEO of Twitter, has now been confirmed as the new permanent CEO again.

Ever been burned by a bad IT decision? Of course you have!

There’s a great quote from the movie Armageddon: “You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?”.
Dale Vile, 05 Oct 2015
Cabinet Office sign. Pic: Sgt Tom Robinson RLC/Crown copyright

Digital Services to be killed off early next year, confirms

The Cabinet Office is to rebrand the next iteration of the Digital Services framework that SME suppliers had heavily criticised for being confusing and an administrative burden to qualify for.
Paul Kunert, 05 Oct 2015

HPC cluster-wrestling challenge: Come on students, light my PyFR

Reconfigure This! Here’s some more content from last summer’s blockbuster International Super computing Conference (ISC) 2015 student cluster competition, which has the youngsters battling to build a small cluster of their own design on the exhibit floor and race to demonstrate the greatest performance across a series of benchmarks and applications.
Man with head in the cloud

Enterprise IT bucks fly to the cloud

Spending on traditional IT infrastructure will decline in the face of a shift to the cloud, IDC has predicted, but the old style of IT will still retain a majority of customers’ dollars at the end of this decade. Just.
Joe Fay, 05 Oct 2015
Broken piggy bank with coins surrounding it. Image via Shutterstock

Don't want to fork out for NAND flash? You're not alone. Disk still rules

NAND flash shipments are not catching up with disk, casting doubt on the idea that disks will disappear from data centres, according to the latest research.
Chris Mellor, 05 Oct 2015
iPad Psycho image

iOS malware YiSpecter: iPhones menaced by software nasty

Updated The first iOS malware capable of attacking both non-jailbroken and jailbroken devices has surfaced online.
John Leyden, 05 Oct 2015

US tries one last time to sway EU court on data-slurping deal

Hear that? It’s the sound of panic, as it dawns on the US that from tomorrow it might not be able to slurp as much data from Europe as it wants... and thousands of multinationals bite their nails over their European client lists.
Jennifer Baker, 05 Oct 2015

Japan begins mega-rollout of 100 million+ national IDs

The Japanese government has launched the nation's first national identification system for social security and taxation purposes, despite widespread grumbling from its ageing population.
Zuck balloons

Facebook, French sat operator in SCRAMBLE FOR AFRICA

Facebook has inked a deal with Eutelsat Communications to beam internet access to parts of Sub-Saharan Africa.
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2015
Tom Cruise plays with impressive looking giant touchscreen in still from the movie Minority report (based on book by Phillip K DIck))

Your storage environment will be toast in... 8... days

Comment You are about to run out of SAN capacity and your sales order booking system will fail its response time limit in five days.
Chris Mellor, 05 Oct 2015
Wall of Spam. Pic: freezelight

Virgin Media's SPAM-AGEDDON 'fix' silences mailboxes

Virgin Media customers who are account holders have been struggling – one way or another – to access their emails for days now.
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2015

Search engine can find the VPN that NUCLEAR PLANT boss DIDN'T KNOW was there - report

The nuclear industry is ignorant of its cybersecurity shortcomings, claimed a report released today, and despite understanding the consequences of an interruption to power generation and the related issues, cyber efforts to prevent such incidents are lacking.

Read our lips, no more EU roaming charges*

The European Commission will draw up rules to help mobile network operators set limits on the amount of roaming they will allow their customers to engage in before they can apply charges to the activity, the EU's Council of Ministers has said.
OUT-LAW.COM, 05 Oct 2015

Capita and private equity biz circling, sniffing around Xchanging

What a place employees at troubled Xchanging find themselves this morning: both Capita and private equity firm Apollo Global are bidding to buy the LSE-listed tech biz.
Paul Kunert, 05 Oct 2015

DCIG rates top-selling EMC flash array as survey bottom-dweller

In its latest All-Flash Array Buyer's Guide, DCIG plonks EMC's market-leading XtremIO array in the bottom group of suppliers, with HP's 3PAR StoreServ 20000 Series ranked best-in-class.
Chris Mellor, 05 Oct 2015
Kitten, image via Shutterstock

Ubuntu 15.10: More kitten than beast – but beware the claws

Review The second beta of Ubuntu 15.10 Wily Werewolf has arrived and there’s not much to see here.
Child measuring image via Shutterstock

By the numbers: The virtualisation options for private cloud hopefuls

VMware, Hyper-V ... XenServer? When it comes to virtualisation, these are the three most frequently cited options. And this would have been OK in the days before cloud, when virtualisation was “just” something for the boys and girls down in the sysadmin branch of the IT department cared about. Now we do have cloud, and private cloud at that, everybody reckons they have a stake in deciding what’s best.
Tom Baines, 05 Oct 2015

UK gets the Ashley Madison fear: Data privacy moans on the up

Consumer complaints about the way personal data is handled increased by 30 per cent from 2013 to 2014, according to figures from Pinsent Masons, acquired via several Freedom of Information requests to the Information Commissioners Office (ICO).
John Leyden, 05 Oct 2015
Old beardy man thinking. Pic: Henadz via Flickr

Beard transplants up 600% for men 'lacking length elsewhere'

Hipsters lacking beards have splashed up to $7,000 on beard transplants.
Team Register, 05 Oct 2015

'Can you hear me now? Oh Peeple, you're so mean *sad face*. It's a leftist agenda!'

QuoTW This week we remembered Seymour Cray, memorialised BlackBerry 10 and got a peek at Elon Musk's new baby.
Team Register, 04 Oct 2015

Sensitive Virgin Media web pages still stuck on weak crypto software

More than six months since The Register reported that Virgin Media had failed to move away from weak encryption software used on sensitive areas of its website – the ISP is yet to hit the upgrade button.
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Oct 2015

Hyundai i30 Turbo: Softly, softly, catchee Audi

Vulture at the Wheel When The Reg went for a spin in the Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell, one of the most common reactions we got was “who knew the Koreans would be leading the field in this sort of tech!”
Alun Taylor, 04 Oct 2015

Mysterious brown spots and a different kind of mouse support

On-Call Welcome once again to On-Call, our regular look at the messes readers find themselves in when asked to go to help out their clients.
Team Register, 04 Oct 2015
Trading Places

What is money? A rabid free marketeer puts his foot in lots of notes

Worstall @ the Weekend Several of you have asked for the skinny on what money actually is. So, here's the full fat Worstall take on cold, hard cash.
Tim Worstall, 04 Oct 2015
Doctor Who – Under the Lake. Image credit: BBC

Doctor Who's Under the Lake splits Reg scribes: This Alien homage thing – good or bad?

Kelly Fiveash, 03 Oct 2015
Pluto and Charon. Credits: NASA/JHUAPL/SwRI

Pluto's moon SPLIT OPEN by ancient FROZEN OCEAN

Pics Yet more pictures of Pluto and its moon have been sent back to Earth from NASA's New Horizons spacecraft – this time indicating a colossal geological upset in Charon's past.
Team Register, 03 Oct 2015
The Chocolate Festival, London

Google spews out Alphabet. Alphabet gobbles Google

Google morphed into its new holding company, Alphabet, after close of business on Friday.
Kelly Fiveash, 03 Oct 2015
Ronnie Barker: All I Ever Wrote book cover

Ten years on: Ronnie Barker, Pismonouncers Unanimous founder, remembered

Feature It’s ten years ago today that much-loved comedian, writer and actor Ronnie Barker passed away. By then, despite having retired way back in 1987, he had already won four BAFTAs, a Royal Television Society award for Outstanding Creative Achievement and been made an OBE.
Phil Strongman, 03 Oct 2015
Ferrari from the driving seat

Testing CarPlay with Apple’s most expensive ever accessory

Vulture at the Wheel Apple’s CarPlay – which we got the chance to test with the ultimate iPhone accessory, a £200,000 Ferrari California T – is fighting a standards conflict against Google’s Android Auto, in what seems to be a replica of the war between Android and iOS.
Simon Rockman, 03 Oct 2015
Police direct a cabbie at the Uber protest in London

Only a CNUT would hold back the waves of the sharing economy

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The Turtle-Necked Twats are having their bluff called at last. Taxi-hailing app developer Uber has been invited to rejoin the real world and the TNTs are in uproar.
Alistair Dabbs, 03 Oct 2015

Russia vows to shame big biz that advertises on pirate sites, and save the internet

Russia has vowed to do what Obama and the EU dare not – and we don't mean bomb ISIS. The President Putin-led nation has promised to go after big business and the pirate websites they support.
Andrew Orlowski, 03 Oct 2015

Microsoft gobbles Chipzilla's Havok 3D physics unit in cloud gaming play

Top physics engine for 3D gaming Havoc has been scooped up by Microsoft, which has inked a deal with Intel to buy the outfit for an undisclosed sum.
Neil McAllister, 03 Oct 2015

Mold whine: Soylent superfood shipments stopped by spore scare

Soylent, which produces liquid food for techies who hate chewing, has stopped shipping its gloop after some of it was contaminated with mold.
Iain Thomson, 03 Oct 2015

T-Mobile US hires someone other than bungling Experian to offer ID theft monitoring to hack victims

First, Experian was hacked by criminals, and its sensitive records on 15 million people who applied for T-Mobile US phone contracts were stolen.
Shaun Nichols, 03 Oct 2015