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The Week in Summary

Apple's strong iPhone sales crush Wall Street moneymen's tepid expectations

Despite not introducing any significant new products during the second quarter of its fiscal 2014 ended in March, Apple has announced unexpectedly healthy revenues and profits for the quarter, with the all-important earnings per share numbers crushing analysts' expectations.
Rik Myslewski, 23 Apr 2014

ARM brushes off dip in mobile revenues with sunny forecast for coming year

Chip design firm ARM has seen a dip in mobile sales that led to falling financial returns in the last financial quarter, a shift the company hopes will be temporary.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Apr 2014
The Street View spycar spied in Inverness
2

Google adds a sense of history to Street View with archive footage

Google is adding historical images to its Street View image library so that users can step backwards and forwards through time and track development from when the Chocolate Factory cameras cars last rolled by.
Iain Thomson, 23 Apr 2014
IBM's Power8 processor

IBM rides nightmarish hardware landscape on OpenPOWER Consortium raft

IBM is going to ride out the storm rippling through the hardware industry by donating one of its crown jewels to a consortium of partner companies with the hope it can make a bit of cash off the ensuing sales.
Jack Clark, 23 Apr 2014
2

Microsoft Azure adds global HUSH-HUSH connection routes with Equinix

Microsoft and Equinix have interlaced their fleet of data centers to let customers go directly to the Azure cloud from inside 16 co-location data centers around the world.
Jack Clark, 23 Apr 2014

EMC feels burn of declining demand for enterprise storage

EMC's share price dipped today after it revealed that fiscal Q1 profits crashed by close to a third on the back of rising operational costs and falling sales of enterprise kit.
Paul Kunert, 23 Apr 2014

Brazilian president signs internet civil rights law

A bill guaranteeing civil rights on the internet was signed into law by Brazilian president Dilma Rousseff at the NetMundial Internet Governance conference today.
Kieren McCarthy, 23 Apr 2014
Sleeper

Speaking in Tech: Yes, yes. Storage, VMs, all very important. But what about beating jet lag?

Podcast Podcast Welcome back to the Speaking in Tech podcast, hosted weekly by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week Sarah is away, but our special guest is Hans De Leenheer, a jobbing technical marketing adviser.
Team Register, 23 Apr 2014
Rotten apple
3

Huawei exec: 'Word of mouth' will beat Apple and Samsung in Europe

Huawei insists its won’t splash the cash to compete with Samsung and Apple in Europe’s overcrowded consumer market. Late last year, Huawei became the world’s No 3 phone maker* from a standing start: it only began selling branded phones three years ago.
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Apr 2014

KPMG: UK tech supplier takes on 'majority' of customers from titsup Glasshouse

More than half the workers at defunct storage consultancy Glasshouse Technologies have been chopped after administrator KPMG failed to find an investor to secure the business as a going concern.
Paul Kunert, 23 Apr 2014
Pure Storage F320
4

Pure Storage opens wide, VCs shovel in yet MORE millions of $$$

All-flash array startup Pure Storage has just trousered another $225m of funding, less than a year after enjoying a $150m E-round. Why on earth does it need more cash now?
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014

Who fancies a billion-quid bonanza? Just flog the Home Office some shiny walkie-talkies

The UK Home Office is touting a mega contract worth up to £1.2bn to build a next-generation comms network for Blighty's brave emergency services.
Paul Kunert, 23 Apr 2014
Looks cooler than a flux capacitor

UK.gov chucks £28m at F1 tech for buses and diggers plan

Grant money amounting to over £28m will be awarded to four British engineering companies to take technology initially designed for Formula 1 cars and develop it for more widespread use.
Simon Rockman, 23 Apr 2014
HDS VSP Front Panel
5

New HDS array: It's a G1000 Jim, but not as we know it*

HDS has updated its 2010 vintage high-end VSP array with the VSP G1000 and a new operating system, together providing the "highest performance and most available unified storage system in the industry," and claiming it's "the most reliable hardware on the planet."
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014
Crucial M550 SSD form factors
5

It's GOOD to get RAIN on your upgrade parade: Crucial M550 1TB SSD

Review Just under a year ago Crucial sent shock waves through the SSD consumer market space with the launch of the M500 series. Not only did the family contain the first near-1TB SSD in this space, in the shape of the flagship M500 960GB drive, but the whole range had been priced at such a competitive level it had rivals scurrying around trying to match it.
Simon Crisp, 23 Apr 2014
5

Apple splats 'new' SSL snooping bug in iOS, OS X - but it's no Heartbleed

Apple has squashed a significant security bug in its SSL engine for iOS and OS X as part of a slew of patches for iThings and Macs.
John Leyden, 23 Apr 2014
New HP logo
5

HP's top-end array just TOPPED ITSELF

HP has announced the XP7, the successor to the high-end XP array. The XP, or P9500, is an OEM version of Hitachi's VSP array and Hitachi has announced the VSP G1000 follow-on product, which HP has manufactured as the XP7.
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014

95 floors in 43 SECONDS: Hitachi's new ultra-high-speed lift

Hitachi has unveiled plans for two express lifts which will rocket up a China skyscraper at speeds in excess of the genteel 30mph (48kmph) British speed limit.
Jasper Hamill, 23 Apr 2014
2

Only a WEEK left to sign up: Meet the tech heavyweights at AWS Enterprise Summit 2014

Promo On Tuesday 29 April, Amazon Web Services will be at London’s ExCel Centre, where it will host the 2014 Enterprise Summit.
David Gordon, 23 Apr 2014

TalkTalk's catch-up telly fib silenced by ad watchdog

Budget telco TalkTalk has been barked at by the Advertising Standards Authority after the company wrongly suggested that a whole host of TV channels were available via its catch-up service.
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Apr 2014

Vulture 2 rocket motor heater a non-sizzling success

The Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team is toasting a toasty success today after reviewing the data from our recent Judy test flight, which carried the rocket motor heater rig designed to stop our Vulture 2 spaceplane's mighty thruster from catching a nasty cold.
Lester Haines, 23 Apr 2014
Ricardo Badalone

My software-defined life: Boss of MCS-flasher Diablo chats to the Reg

Diablo Technologies now licenses its Flash DIMM technology to SanDisk, which acquired the licence through buying SMART Storage. So far IBM and Supermicro have signed contracts with SanDisk to use its ULLtraDIMM technology in some of their X86 servers but its likely just the beginning.
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014
Oblivion, the movie comms officer desk

Sat comms kit riddled with backdoors for hackers – researcher

Security researchers claim to have uncovered myriad security problems with satellite communication systems. But while major manufacturer Iridium said the security weaknesses identified by security researchers at IOActive were in hand, Thuraya, another satellite comms service, has criticised the report as inaccurate.
John Leyden, 23 Apr 2014

Sony Xperia Z2: 4K vid, great audio, waterproof ... Oh, and you can make a phone call

What do you want in a smartphone? A premium build quality? A high-resolution display that looks the business whether you’re watching a movie or reading a book?
David Phelan, 23 Apr 2014

Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

Pic We're obliged to veteran Reg reader Chris Winpenny for nominating what he believes to be a worthy successor to Asus' famous blonde beach babe – last seen enjoying an Eee Pad Transformer Prime before the sun set on her PC-punting career:
Lester Haines, 23 Apr 2014
Apple stock price

EU: Let's cost financial traders $400m a day, because EVIL BANKERS. Right?

Hurrah! The European Union has decided to save us from the perils of automatic trading! Also known as High Frequency Trading (HFT) or algo trading, this is simply the practice of writing a piece of code to do the buying and selling faster than a human being can possibly do it.
Tim Worstall, 23 Apr 2014
Marconi-Stille steel tape recorder

Enterprise storage will die just like tape did, say chaps with graphs

The Wikibon biz tech consultancy thinks that the era of networked filers and SANs is going to end with server SANs replacing them. SANs and filers will have largely died away by 2027, it reckons.
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014
Night scene of bank station in central london
9

EE & Vodafone will let you BONK on the TUBE – with Boris' blessing

London Underground commuters will soon be able to pay for Tube journeys via contactless credit cards thanks to EE, Vodafone and Transport for London.
Simon Rockman, 23 Apr 2014

Think-tank to infosec: You're doing it wrong

Tomorrow's Internet is a scary, scary place, according to think-tank The Atlantic Council, so much so that we're all apparently on the brink of “a cyber sub-prime meltdown”.

Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses

Vid A Japanese boffin has unveiled a novel way of catching some kip at work without your colleagues finding out – a pair of OLED “glasses” designed to act as digital eyes.
Phil Muncaster, 23 Apr 2014

So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission is on temporary hold today while we attempt to answer a question of vital linguistic import: just how do you say "the mutt's nuts" in French?
Lester Haines, 23 Apr 2014

Japan airport staff dash to replace passcodes after security cock-up

The dangers of writing passwords down on paper were laid bare in the Japanese airport of Haneda this week after a member of staff managed to lose a note containing key security codes ahead of US president Barack Obama’s arrival today.
Phil Muncaster, 23 Apr 2014
1

Cisco kicks off security kit/software/cloud combo

Cisco has added threat management to its portfolio, announcing Managed Threat Defense which it says brings realtime security to its customers.

Kill dodgy RNG says NIST

NIST has said what we already knew: the Dual Elliptic Curve Deterministic Random Bit Generator, Dual_EC_DRBG, is a dead duck and should be abandoned by anyone still using it.
DNA
6

Algorithm ramps up genetic computation

The world has built DNA genomes for a long time, but applying what we know about genetics to everyday medicine is a tough ask.

Oz crime-busters' calls for data retention get louder

The Australian Crime Commission is the latest agency to demand that Australia's government – and by extension, its citizens – embrace the surveillance state.
Bitcoins

Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga

The California man who says he was mistakenly identified as the inventor of Bitcoin is accepting a $23,000 gift from backers of the cryptocurrency.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Apr 2014
Spam

AOL Mail locks down email servers to deal with spam tsunami

If you've been getting a lot of spam from AOL emails recently it's not because you've fallen into a time rift and it's the nineties all over again – the company has confirmed that it has been under an intensive spoofing attack.
Iain Thomson, 23 Apr 2014

Systems meltdown plunges US immigration courts into pen-and-paper stone age

A massive computer failure at the US Executive Office for Immigration Review (EOIR) is reportedly wreaking havoc on US immigration courts, with application outages continuing well into their second week.
Neil McAllister, 22 Apr 2014

Patch iOS, OS X now: PDFs, JPEGs, URLs, web pages can pwn your kit

Apple has released updates to its iOS and OS X operating systems that address serious security flaws.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Apr 2014
Nanomachine

STEALTHY NANOROBOTS dress up as viruses, prepare to sneak into YOUR BODY

US scientists have tackled two main stumbling blocks to the development of injectable nanomachines for medical and scientific use.
Jack Clark, 22 Apr 2014

Apple inaugurates free OS X beta program for world+dog

Notoriously secretive Apple has always kept its beta builds of OS X out of the hands of the hoi polloi by limiting their availability only to registered developers, so it is with some surprise that said polloi can now get their own hands on said builds through a new OS X Beta Seed Program.
Rik Myslewski, 22 Apr 2014
Double Facepalm; when one facepalm is not enough.

Got Windows 8.1 Update yet? Get ready for YET ANOTHER ONE – rumor

The Windows rumor mill is buzzing yet again, with word that Microsoft is planning yet another update to Windows 8.1 that will ship in the fall, possibly to be followed by a new, cloud-centric version of Windows that will be available free of charge.
Neil McAllister, 22 Apr 2014
Russia

Boss of Russia's Facebook says Putin cronies have taken over his company

Pavel Durov, the founder of Russia's most popular social network, is complaining that he has been thrown out of his company on a technicality and claims that the firm has been taken over by pro-Putin oligarchs.
Iain Thomson, 22 Apr 2014
Pat Gelsinger

VMware slurps more cash from the death of hardware

VMware has proven once again that there's a lot of money still to be made from killing traditional data center hardware and resurrecting it as a set of software services hovering atop dumb boxes.
Jack Clark, 22 Apr 2014

US Supreme Court supremo rakes Aereo lawman in oral arguments

US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts was less than subtle during oral arguments on Tuesday in the case of American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. v. Aereo, Inc., in which the broadcasting giant is seeking to shut down the spunky startup that charges its customers a monthly fee for internet access to streaming broadcast video slurped out of the aether by its one-per-customer array of tiny antennae.
Rik Myslewski, 22 Apr 2014
OpenBSD logo

OpenBSD founder wants to bin buggy OpenSSL library, launches fork

In the wake of the Heartbleed bug fiasco, members of the OpenBSD project have forked the popular OpenSSL library with the aim of creating a new version that they say will be more trustworthy.
Neil McAllister, 22 Apr 2014

Battery-production problems delay anorexic 5.5-inch 'iPhone Air'

The challenge of developing a battery slim enough for a 5.5-inch iPhone, nicknamed (暱稱) the "iPhone Air" by the parts-supply industry, may push that handset's introduction back until next year.
Rik Myslewski, 22 Apr 2014
Artist's conception of a watery asteroid being torn apart white dwarf GD 61

Asteroids as powerful as NUCLEAR BOMBS strike Earth TWICE YEARLY

A study using data from monitoring stations designed to enforce a nuclear test ban treaty shows that the Earth is enduring far more dangerous asteroid impacts than previously thought.
Iain Thomson, 22 Apr 2014
2001: A Space Odyssey

Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES

Apple has patented a system that will automatically detect when a user is driving, and lock out texting and other potentially distracting activities.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Apr 2014
Measuring up Apple

SAVE THE EARTH: Give all your iThings back to us, pleads Apple

Apple's flagship products rarely come in colours other than silver, black and white. But for Earth Day, the fruity firm has decided to coat its entire business in a lurid shade of green.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Apr 2014
Diablo chart 2
2

Diablo: Get a load of this, PCIe flash-floggers. It's DIMM fine stuff

Diablo has a devilish message for PCIe flash users and suppliers; we’re coming to get you with better, faster, more consistently performing technology.
Chris Mellor, 22 Apr 2014

Despite your fancy-schmancy security tech, passwords still weakest link in IT defences

The use of stolen login credentials continues to be the most common way for network intruders to access sensitive information. Two out of three breaches were the result of weak or swiped passwords, making a case for strong two-factor authentication, according to Verizon’s latest annual Data Breach Investigations Report.
John Leyden, 22 Apr 2014
WFA schematic

Violin, Microsoft slip Windows, SQL Server, apps, flash into box

Violin Memory has turned its 6000-series flash array into a converged server-storage engine for SQL Server which is capable of putting data directly into an app server's memory – thanks to a little help from Microsoft.
Chris Mellor, 22 Apr 2014

Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it

Photo evidence The Loch Ness monster presents one of the greatest mysteries of recent times. After all, who in their right mind would believe a great green beastie was lurking down at the bottom of a midge-ridden Scottish lake?
Jasper Hamill, 22 Apr 2014
Opens phones like magic

Slip your finger in this ring and unlock your backdoor, phone, etc

Pic An NFC Ring does exactly what it says on the tin: it’s a piece of jewellery with two NFC tags embedded in it that pass information to nearby phones, tablets and other gadgets by radio.
Simon Rockman, 22 Apr 2014
The Register vulture logo (black)

El Reg gets mobile makeover

Site news We are redesigning The Register's mobile site m.theregister.co.uk: please help us make it better. Try it out and post your feedback here – and don’t forget to tell us what OS/ browser you are using.
Drew Cullen, 22 Apr 2014
SAP
3

SAP's on-site apps fumble for the gearstick as cloud stamps pedal

The decline in SAP’s software sales has accelerated while the company’s smaller cloud operation has continued to expand.
Gavin Clarke, 22 Apr 2014
SanDisk 4GB Micro SDHC
2

SanDisk surfs cash tsunami on biz SSDs: Prelim nice, but DIMM?

SanDisk is on a revenue roll, with the first quarter of 2014 showing a 62 per cent profit rise on an annual compare, driven by rising enterprise SSD sales.
Chris Mellor, 22 Apr 2014

Whaddaya mean, NO REFUND? But I paid in Bitcoins! Oh I see...

Something after the Weekend, Sir? Don’t tell anyone but I think I might have made an arse of myself again. It’s one thing to show oneself up among one’s peers but another to demonstrate publicly how thick I am front of people who are smarter, sharper, more successful and frankly a damn sight wealthier than me – a sector of society I generally refer to as "other people".
Alistair Dabbs, 22 Apr 2014
Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition

A premium smartie lump: Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition

Review While most Chinese smartphone OEMs started life making cheap tat and then slowly began moving upmarket, Oppo has taken a slightly different tack. Its devices have been fairly high-end from the get-go and the N1, initially released running Android 4.2 back in September 2013, made quite a splash.
Bob Dormon, 22 Apr 2014

'Maybe I'll go to Hell, but I think it's a good thing' says plastic Liberator gunsmith Cody Wilson

Interview For a man some perceive as an audacious libertarian who puts untraceable weapons into the hands of criminals, Cody Wilson is a surprisingly ordinary fellow, albeit one who gets quite animated about 3D-printed guns, Bitcoin and "crypto-anarchism".
Gareth Corfield, 22 Apr 2014
Skyera Skyhawk design

Array upstart's chip boffin CEO: Skyera's not just a flash-in-the-pan

Comment As a part of his CEO series, Willem ter Harmsel interviews CEOs of innovative companies in the fields of storage, virtualisation and networking.

Ubuntu 14.04 LTS: Great changes, but sssh don't mention the...

Review The future is here, or at least the next five years of it for Ubuntu fans.

Fixing OpenSSL's Heartbleed flaw will take MONTHS, warns Secunia

Expunging the Heartbleed bug from vulnerable computers and gadgets is likely to take months, according to a leading vuln research firm. The cautionary assessment by Secunia comes as more and more products are judged to be vulnerable to the infamous OpenSSL security flaw.
John Leyden, 22 Apr 2014
2

HTC mulls swoop for Nokia's MASSIVE Chennai plant

HTC could be in the market for Nokia’s troubled Chennai manufacturing plant in India – as the chances of a smooth transfer of the factory to Microsoft are increasingly remote.
Phil Muncaster, 22 Apr 2014
Kim Jong-un

Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet

At least one of the suspected North Korean drones found after crashing south of the 38th parallel appears to have been made by a Chinese aviation company.
Phil Muncaster, 22 Apr 2014

Google to refund buyers of 'fake' anti-virus app

Google has decided that a smallish (for The Chocolate Factory) wad of cash is a trivial price to pay for maintaining its reputation, and has begun refunding punters who fell for the fake “virus shield” scam.

Reg man builds smart home rig, gains SUPREME CONTROL of DOMAIN – Pics

Feature Reg reader Ben Lamb was so impressed with how his recent Lightwave RF installation turned out, he put pinkie to keyboard to share his experiences with us. In his own words, here's how he got on.
Ben Lamb, 22 Apr 2014
Put your iPhone in the blender

Boffins brew graphene in kitchen blender

Take pencil leads, detergent, water, stick them in a high-power kitchen blender, and the result? A brew containing the wonder-stuff graphene.
management regulation2
6

WiLAN files appeal in Apple WiFi case

WiLAN, which last October lost a patent case against Apple that had been settled by companies like Dell, HP and Alcatel-Lucent, has decided to appeal the case.
Cherry
6

NBN Co to government: 'unchain us'

NBN Co has asked the government to release it from restrictions it says constrain its ability to compete with other carriers seeking to cherry-pick lucrative markets.
Screenshot of Google captcha that reads: "nodick"
8

Google boffins beat own Captchas

A group of Google scientists working on extracting numbers from StreetView images has discovered that their technology can also match humans at solving captchas.
Screenshot of Crimea as seen on Google Maps Russia

Rejoice, Russians! The annexation of Crimea is complete and legitimate – Google Maps proves it

Google appears to have sided with Vladimir Putin in the current sovereignty dispute over the Crimean Peninsula – at least as far as residents of Russia are concerned.
Neil McAllister, 22 Apr 2014
Netflix
4

Netflix speaks out against Comcast–Time Warner megadeal

Video service Netflix has officially come out in opposition of a potential merger between Comcast and Time Warner.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Apr 2014
Github octodex

Github cofounder resigns after clearance in sex-harass probe

Tom Preston-Werner, the cofounder and former CEO of Github, has left the company being cleared by a third-party investigation into claims of sexual harassment at the coding startup.
Iain Thomson, 21 Apr 2014

AT&T dangles gigabit broadband plans over 100 US cities

Keeping pace with rival Google Fiber, AT&T has announced a possible expansion to its GigaPower broadband internet service.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Apr 2014

CEO Tim Cook sweeps Apple's inconvenient truths under a solar panel

Vid Apple is making a big deal about its green credentials, including a slick advert voiced by CEO Tim Cook, ahead of the annual eco-friendly love-in Earth Day.
Iain Thomson, 21 Apr 2014

Microsoft to spend $1.1bn to build Iowa data center

Microsoft has been given the go-ahead to build a $1.1bn data center just outside the capital of Iowa, Des Moines – in southeast West Des Moines, to be exact – which when taken together with its existing data center there will raise the company's investment in the area to a hair below $2bn.
Rik Myslewski, 21 Apr 2014

Microsoft signs Motorola to Android patent pact – no, not THAT Motorola

Motorola Solutions has become the latest maker of Android and Chrome OS devices to license related patents from Microsoft, joining dozens of other companies that have entered into similar agreements with Redmond.
Neil McAllister, 21 Apr 2014

Most Americans doubt Big Bang, not too sure about evolution, climate change – survey

A recent poll brings bad news for those who trust in scientific consensus: over half of Americans doubt the Big Bang theory of the inception of the universe, and about four out of ten doubt evolution, that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old, and that humans exacerbate global warming, despite overwhelming evidence for all four.
Rik Myslewski, 21 Apr 2014
Nintendo Game Boy screen

Happy 25th birthday, Game Boy!

On April 21st, 1989, Nintendo introduced a handheld system which would go on to become the best selling games system of the 20th century. The original Game Boy made its debut in Japan on that day, and for the next decade the chunky off-white handheld would become an essential accessory to a generation of gamers.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Apr 2014
Fake photo of Satya Nadella shaking hands with Stephen Elop

It's a done deal! Microsoft-Nokia merger to close on Friday

Microsoft has finally cleared all of the international regulatory hurdles that it needed to overcome for it to close its acquisition of Nokia's Devices and Services business.
Neil McAllister, 21 Apr 2014

AMD stock soars after positive quarterly report

AMD's stock rose by as much as 13 per cent on Monday morning when the Wall Street moneymen returned to work after their Good Friday holiday and rewarded the microprocessor and graphics design firm for its upbeat financial report for the first quarter of 2014.
Rik Myslewski, 21 Apr 2014
ISS captures the Dragon

Dragon capsule arrives at space station for Easter Sunday delivery

Easter Sunday may have been all about eggs and chocolate bunnies for many, but the crew of the International Space Stations spent the day acting as specialist stevedores as SpaceX's Dragon capsule was successfully attached using the station's robotic arm.
Iain Thomson, 21 Apr 2014

WTF happened to Pac-Man?

Antique Code Show During the finale of this season’s King of the Nerds, one of the nerd challenges was to complete the first level of Pac-Man in a set time. I was delighted to see they were playing the original arcade version, albeit on an iPad.
Lucy Orr, 21 Apr 2014

Next Windows obsolescence panic is 450 days from … NOW!

With the not-quite-panic over the end of support for Windows XP behind us, you'd think it's a time to chill out for a bit.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Apr 2014
The Space Graphics Solutions team poses with the wrapped Vulture 2

LOHAN and the amazing technicolor spaceplane

Picture special Cue the traditional portentous drumroll and fanfare of trumpets as we reveal today the finished livery of our Vulture 2 spaceplane – a provocative combination of paint job and vinyl wrap which is, frankly, the mutt's nuts.
Lester Haines, 19 Apr 2014
LADEE

R.I.P. LADEE: Probe smashes into lunar surface at 3,600mph

Pics NASA has confirmed that the Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) spacecraft, which has spent the last 100 days orbiting the Moon, has shuffled off its mortal coil in a spectacular swan dive into the lunar regolith between 9:30pm and 10:22pm PDT on Thursday.
Iain Thomson, 18 Apr 2014
Zombies, credit: Wikimedia from Night of The Living Dead

Judge halts spread of zombie Nortel patents to Texas in Google trial

Google has won a victory in its battle against patent troll Rockstar, with a US District Court judge having denied Rockstar's request to try the case in the troll-friendly Eastern District of Texas, rather than in California.
Neil McAllister, 18 Apr 2014

Record labels sue Pandora over vintage song royalties

Online radio service Pandora is being sued by a group of record labels seeking payout for songs released more than four decades ago.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Apr 2014

True optical zoom coming to HTC smartphone cameras

An HTC spokesman says that smartphone camera technology is advancing at such a rate that it may soon catch up to "real" cameras in one critical feature that separates pro shooters from snap shooters: optical zoom.
Rik Myslewski, 18 Apr 2014
Photo of Google Glass version 2
6

Google lets wannabe Glass Explorers ADMIRE THEMSELVES in their own mirrors

Interested in Google Glass but worried that you'll look like a dork wearing it? The Chocolate Factory is testing out a new pilot program to help ease your mind.
Neil McAllister, 18 Apr 2014
SpaceX launches CRS-3

Liftoff! SpaceX Falcon 9 lifts Dragon on third resupply mission to ISS

Elon Musk should be a happy camper, as it appears that his orbital delivery firm SpaceX has pulled off a successful launch of its third resupply mission to the International Space Station.
Iain Thomson, 18 Apr 2014

Leaked photos may indicate slimmer next-generation iPad

Photos have surfaced that purport to show Apple's next iPad having a bonded LCD and front-panel glass display, allowing it to be even thinner than the current 7.5mm (0.29-inch) thick iPad Air – or perhaps the same thickness, but with a larger battery.
Rik Myslewski, 18 Apr 2014
Gold iPhone 5s, in'it?

Reddit users discover iOS malware threat

Users on a mobile phone hacking subreddit are being credited with the discovery of a malware infection targeting iOS users.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Apr 2014

Edward Snowden on his Putin TV appearance: 'Why all the criticism?'

Fugitive whistleblower Edward Snowden has written an op-ed column in the Guardian justifying his decision to go on live TV to question Russian President Vladimir Putin about his country's policies on mass surveillance.
Neil McAllister, 18 Apr 2014
Marissa Meyer

Number crunching suggests Yahoo! US is worth less than nothing

It has been 18 months since former Google golden girl Marissa Mayer took over the helm at Yahoo! and outwardly things look pretty good, but the latest financial analysis shows the Purple Palace might actually be worth less than zero.
Iain Thomson, 18 Apr 2014

Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley: Ousting Steve Jobs 'was a mistake'

Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley, who engineered Steve Jobs' removal from managing the company's Macintosh division in May 1985 – a move that eventually led Jobs to resign that September – now thinks it may not have been such a good idea.
Rik Myslewski, 18 Apr 2014

Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

Residents in the Spanish village of Castrillo* Matajudíos (Castrillo Kill the Jews) will vote on Saturday on whether it's time to change the name of their small hamlet in the province of Burgos to something a little less offensive.
Lester Haines, 18 Apr 2014

Netcraft adds Heartbleed sniffing to site-scanning browser tool

Internet stats clearinghouse Netcraft has released a new tool aimed at letting consumers know when the sites they visit might have been compromised by the Heartbleed encryption bug.
Neil McAllister, 18 Apr 2014

Arts and crafts store Michaels says 3 million credit cards exposed in breach

As the officials investigating the Target data breach are settling in for what they believe will be a long and complex process of catching the hackers behind the heist, another US retailer is admitting that it lost millions of customer payment card details.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Apr 2014
Opportunity in clean room

Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning

The winds on Mars have been scouring the surface of the Opportunity rover, and NASA says the plucky little robot is now cleaner than it has been in nearly a decade.
Iain Thomson, 18 Apr 2014

AMD's 'Seattle' 64-bit ARM server chips now sampling, set to launch in late 2014

AMD's 64-bit ARM-based server chips, code-named "Seattle", will come to market late this year – but don't expect to see them wrapped up in any SeaMicro Fabric Compute Systems at launch.
Rik Myslewski, 18 Apr 2014
Google Fiber
3

Google eyes business service in latest Fiber trials

Google is in the planning stages of a project to offer its Fiber internet service to businesses in northwest Kansas City, Missouri.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Apr 2014
cloud
2

OpenStack Icehouse: IT'S ALIVE! – live migration, that is

OpenStack's Icehouse release has arrived, bearing stress-busting gifts for hollow-eyed cloud administrators.
Jack Clark, 17 Apr 2014

NASA finds first Earth-sized planet in a habitable zone around star

NASA's Kepler space telescope has spotted the first Earth-sized planet in orbit around a star in the so-called Goldilocks zone – the zone around a star that's not too hot or too cold for liquid water to exist on the surface.
Iain Thomson, 17 Apr 2014
5

AMD posts $1.4bn in sales, beats Wall Street moneymen's predictions

Updated AMD has announced its financial results for its first fiscal quarter, and the chip designer handily beat analysts' expectations in both revenues and the all-important – to the Wall Street moneymen, at least – earning per share (EPS).
Rik Myslewski, 17 Apr 2014
Twitter Storm, credit Wikimedia

Nokia halts sales of Lumia 2520 Win RT tablet over zap-happy charger

Nokia's Lumia 2520 is one of the few tablets to ship with Windows RT besides Microsoft's own Surface line, but the Finnish firm has now suspended sales of its ARM-based Windows fondleslab in Europe due to issues with its charger.
Neil McAllister, 17 Apr 2014

KILLER ROBOTS, DNA TAMPERING and PEEPING CYBORGS: the future looks bright!

Coming advances in technology have a majority of Americans optimistic about the future, yet nervous about looming technologies, a survey has found.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Apr 2014
What Linus Torvalds thinks of NVIDIA
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Red Hat: We don't need no stinking dictator to make money out of OpenStack (in late 2015)

Open source company Red Hat thinks it might start making significant money out of OpenStack in the Autumn of 2015 and it won't need a Linus Torvalds-like dictator to keep the project focused.
Jack Clark, 17 Apr 2014

New Facebook phone app allows you to stalk your mates

Facebook is adding a new application that alerts smartphone users when their chums are nearby, but thankfully the feature is optional.
Iain Thomson, 17 Apr 2014
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Samsung, GlobalFoundries ink exclusive, multi-year 14nm FinFET deal

Samsung and GlobalFoundries have announced a collaborative agreement that will enable 14-nanometer FinFET chippery to be manufactured at Samsung's fabs in Hwaseong, South Korea and Austin, Texas, as well as at GlobalFoundries' fab in Saratoga, New York.
Rik Myslewski, 17 Apr 2014

Putin tells Snowden: Russia conducts no US-style mass surveillance

Vladimir Putin has said that Russia has no mass telephone and internet surveillance programs to compare with those in the United States.
Neil McAllister, 17 Apr 2014

Battle of the Linux clouds! Linode DOUBLES RAM to take on Digital Ocean

Linux server slinger Linode has doubled its RAM allocations per-server, and swapped out all its hard drives with SSDs allowing it to match upstart Digital Ocean on prices.
Jack Clark, 17 Apr 2014

El Reg drills into IBM: The storage biz's got that sinking feeling

Analysis With the tremendous noise of chickens coming home to roost, IBM's first quarter storage revenues carried on crashing down with depressed revenues.
Chris Mellor, 17 Apr 2014
We were going to show a pic of Simon wearing it but thought you'd prefer this on instead

Win gorgeous strap-on, enter whole new world with Reg compo

Competition How well do you know 3D and Virtual Reality ... well enough to answer three simple questions?
Team Register, 17 Apr 2014
Red Hat Shadowman logo
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Kids, guess where we're going for Easter? France for a 'software-defined storage experience'

Not only are HP and Red Hat together touting a software-defined storage experience, they're touting an "open software-defined storage experience", which must be better, because, er, it's open.
Chris Mellor, 17 Apr 2014

IRS boss on XP migration: 'Classic fix the airplane while you're flying it attempt'

Quotw That whole Heartbleed bug thing just kept running on and on this week, first with accusations that the National Security Agency had defied its brief by knowing about the security breach and doing stuff-all about it.

OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Microsoft has fixed a snafu with Windows Defender that took down thousands of business PCs and servers running Windows XP and Server 2003.
Gavin Clarke, 17 Apr 2014
BBC iPlayer

Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

Apple fans' expensive iOS gadgets have been cut off from video-on-demand services from the BBC and Sky due to an unknown fault.

Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update

Analysis Microsoft's private viewing of Windows Phone 8.1 has been opened to all comers*, many of whom don't like what they see.
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Apr 2014
cake

Is tech the preserve of the young able-bodied? Let's talk over a fine dinner and claret

As your body staggers down the winding road to death, user interfaces that require fighter pilot-grade eyesight, the dexterity of a neurosurgeon, and the mental agility of Derren Brown, are going to screw with you at some point.
Dominic Connor, 17 Apr 2014

OpenSSL Heartbleed bug sniff tools are 'BUGGY' – what becomes of the broken hearted?

Software that claims to detect the presence of OpenSSL's Heartbleed bug in servers, PCs and other gear may falsely report a system to be safe when users are actually in danger, according to a security consultancy.
John Leyden, 17 Apr 2014

Virgin Media so, so SORRY for turning spam fire-hose on its punters

Virgin Media has apologised for a blunder that resulted in some of its customers being bombarded with a deluge of emails.

Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

Last year, I rather recklessly signed my self up for the Live Below the Line quid-a-day nosh challenge, which involves surviving for five days on £1 per day for food.
Lester Haines, 17 Apr 2014

Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft – A jolly little war for lunchtime

Quick review Hearthstone is a game that I've been a bit obsessed with lately.
Adam Fowler, 17 Apr 2014
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Inside the Hekaton: SQL Server 2014's database engine deconstructed

It's 1996 and Mission:Impossible has just arrived on the cinema screens. RAM is $10 per megabyte and falling. Against this backdrop, Microsoft has quietly commenced its own seemingly impossible mission, a complete re-write of a little known database which will be released two years into the future, and will be known as SQL Server 7.

Whoever you vote for, Google gets in

Analysis Google's lobbying and influence-courting in Washington DC is more intense and extensive than even Google-watchers thought, a must-read Washington Post investigation has revealed.
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Apr 2014
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AWS bins elastic compute units, adopts virtual CPUs

Gartner analyst Kyle Hilgendorf has spotted something very interesting: Amazon Web Services seems to have stopped rating cloud servers based on EC2 compute units (ECUs), its proprietary metric of computing power.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Apr 2014

MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Boffins at MIT have mooted a new concept for nuclear power plants which would see the entire facility towed several miles out to sea and moored in a similar way to offshore oil and gas platforms.
Phil Muncaster, 17 Apr 2014

Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen

Fruity toy maker Apple’s next iPhone looks like it will definitely have a significantly bigger screen, if you believe the latest images to have found their way onto the Chinternet.
Phil Muncaster, 17 Apr 2014
Magic Carpet
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Multi-hypervisor workload ... what? Just think of it as a virtual MAGIC CARPET

Comment Zerto offers multi-hypervisor and cloud workload transformation and protection services – there, I’ve said it. But what does it mean?
Chris Mellor, 17 Apr 2014
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Oz winemaker/cloud says DEY buy cheaper than vendors' SDS

CloudCentral, the Australian cloud-cum-wine company that this week acquired the intellectual property of software-defined storage (SDS) startup DEY, says the transaction was a cheaper way to build its own SDS than buying it from a vendor.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Apr 2014
Chillout area in Google's data center

Google spends in three months on data centers what used to take a year

Google spent a whopping $US2.35bn on its data centers in the first quarter of 2014.
Jack Clark, 17 Apr 2014
Block diagram of the NSX virtual networking stack from VMware
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VMware starts invitation-only NSX training

If you visit VMware's certifications portal you may notice there's something missing: Virtzilla currently offers no courses for its NSX network virtualisation product.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Apr 2014
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Heartbleed mega-bug clean up shrinks Tor network by an eighth

Tor, the sometimes-controversial internet-traffic-anonymising service, is bleeding thanks to the Heartbleed flaw.
Simon Sharwood, 17 Apr 2014
FCC logo

AT&T threatens to pull out of FCC wireless auctions over purchase limits

US wireless megacarrier AT&T has told the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) that it could withdraw from an upcoming wireless spectrum auction over proposed buying limits.
Shaun Nichols, 17 Apr 2014
management regulation1

Lavabit loses contempt of court appeal over protecting Snowden, customers

Ladar Levison, owner of the now-defunct Lavabit email service, could be facing a heavy fine after an appeals court ruled that he failed to properly contest the government's attempts to install taps on his servers.
Iain Thomson, 17 Apr 2014
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Samsung claims it still plans to ship Tizen phones in Q2

Hope springs eternal for wannabe Android competitor Tizen, with Samsung saying it plans to ship the first smartphones based on the open source OS in the second quarter of 2014 – carriers' cold feet be damned.
Neil McAllister, 17 Apr 2014