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The Week in Summary

Smut-slingers sell out friends to pervert hackers for nude pics

Rather than a simple, single iCloud hack, this week's furore over celebrities' nude pics looks more like the work of one or many "secret circles" of hackers whose members congregate on 4Chan to share exploits, and booty, from computers and phones they've cracked over a period of years.
Darren Pauli, 03 Sep 2014
cloud

Fujitsu, Intel tilt at hyperscale storage with Ceph-powered arrays

Fujitsu is taking another tilt at software-defined storage hardware by announcing that it's going to create a line of appliances that will combine Intel hardware with the Ceph file system.
Dovecot logo

Oracle's MySQL buy a 'fiasco' says Dovecot man Mikko Linnanmäki

A co-founder of the widely-used IMAP server Dovecot has outlined his three rules for open source success, in terms Larry Ellison may not enjoy.
Darren Pauli, 03 Sep 2014
Cellular basestation antenna
2

Snooptastic US CELL TOWERS pose man-in-the-middle THREAT

A significant number of cell towers in the US are not what they seem to be. In fact, at least according to a recent report, it’s likely they are snooping on your calls.
Simon Rockman, 03 Sep 2014
Compuware logo
1

Compuware slurped by private equiteer for $2.5bn

Private equity firm Thoma Bravo will acquire software house Compuware for about US$2.5bn.
Simon Sharwood, 03 Sep 2014
Firefox OS RHS teaser
1

Firefox 32 moves to kill MITM attacks

The Mozilla Foundation has stepped up its efforts to improve browser security with the launch of Firefox 32, adding public key pinning to try and protect users from man-in-the-middle and other attacks.
Burning copyright symbol. Photo by: Martin Fisch http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/ on flickr"
2

Telstra tells Big Content it won't become unpaid Content Cop

Australia's dominant telco and internet service provider Telstra has waded into the nation's copyright enforcement debate by rejecting Big Content's calls for it to assume liability for its users' copyright infringements.
Simon Sharwood, 03 Sep 2014

TSMC touts IoT as semiconductor growth engine

Taiwanese chip fab TSMC (Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co) reckons its Next Big Thing is going to be, you guessed it, the Internet of Things.
Official Intel Atom Inside logo
1

NEC tilts at webscale servers with 46 Atom boards in 2U chassis

Japan's NEC has unleashed a new “micro modular server” it hopes will get it into the webscale computing caper.
Simon Sharwood, 03 Sep 2014

Privacy law reboot needed says Oz Law Reform Commission

Australia's patchwork of state and commonwealth surveillance laws need tweaks and homogenisation to protect privacy, according to the Australian Law Reform Commission (ALRC).
Malware
2

Car makers, space craft manufacturers infected with targeted recon tool

Researcher James Blasco is warning the auto and aerospace industries against engineering software that's been compromised by keystroke-logging and reconnaissance malware.
Darren Pauli, 03 Sep 2014
1

Internet of Things: Major players agree on goals, but little else

Analysis The whole industry seems to be going wild about the Internet of Things (IoT), but the hard part about making this bold new vision happen is going to be as much about getting the vendors talking as getting the so-called things talking.
Neil McAllister, 03 Sep 2014
Rendering of Apple's planned headquarters in Cupertino, California

Drone captures shots of budding APPLE SPACESHIP HQ

An amateur drone video is shedding new light on Apple's future headquarters.
Shaun Nichols, 03 Sep 2014
Made in Space 3D printer
3

NASA clears zero-G 3D printer for mission to SPAAAAACE

A special 3D printer designed to work in zero-gravity conditions has received flight certification from NASA and will shortly be sent up to the International Space Station for astronauts to try out.
Iain Thomson, 03 Sep 2014
Ciscoblood

Cisco US Invicta off the shelves, for now

Reports are emerging that Cisco is holding back its UCS Invicta storage products because of unspecified performance issues.
parallels logo schematics

Parallels to line up with Linux containers

Parallels is working to bring its automation, security and management wares to the burgeoning world of Linux containerisation.
Simon Sharwood, 03 Sep 2014
Google Chocolate Factory
3

Google: let's build our OWN quantum computer

Is Google gently backing away from D-Wave?

Apple skirts blame in skirtless photo heist, claims NO iCloud breach

Apple has denied any compromise of its systems in relation to this weekend's celebrity photo dump.
Shaun Nichols, 02 Sep 2014
Hacker baseball cap

Claimed Home Depot credit card hack could be biggest retail breach yet

One of the US's largest home improvement chains is investigating whether its systems have been cracked by hackers, as one security researcher has claimed.
Iain Thomson, 02 Sep 2014
Internet of Things
3

Sony backs AllSeen Alliance in Internet of Stuff standards slap-fight

Sony has cast its lot with the AllSeen Alliance in the ongoing standards squabble over the pervasive-computing future tech known as the Internet of Things (IoT).
Neil McAllister, 02 Sep 2014
7

AMD claims record with latest overclock-happy FX Series chips, again

AMD has claimed another overclocking speed record for its latest eight-core CPUs, even as it tries to broaden the market for its chips for gamers and hobbyist customers.
Neil McAllister, 02 Sep 2014
Google UK office logos
7

'Enterprise' ends ten-year mission: Choc Factory's biz services now Google for Work

Google has celebrated ten years of selling services to businesses by dumping the name Google Enterprise in favor of the touchier, feelier Google for Work.
Iain Thomson, 02 Sep 2014
Bearded dragon handing out with Spicerex

'Sony and Twitch' hacking crew Lizard Squad: 'We quit'

The Lizard Squad hacking crew appears to have called it quits over the weekend following a high profile assaults on Sony as well as online attacks on Blizzard and Twitch, a broadcast platform for gamers, among others.
John Leyden, 02 Sep 2014
Transamerica Pyramid

Good luck with Project Wing, Google. This drone moonshot is NEVER going to happen

Comment Google’s delivery drones in Oz have a really easy job – fly across a near desert and lower a parcel to the ground. That’s easy-peasy, matey. Try that in my Sixth Street home in San Francisco, the one near the junction with Folsom Street, where (to make the Chocolate Drone Factory’s life easier) there is a grassed yard.
Chris Mellor, 02 Sep 2014
channel_teaser_money_top
2

NHS supplier Trustmarque seeks backers after accounting change

The future of major NHS supplier Trustmarque looks less certain after private equity backer Dunedin confirmed that a change in the way revenue is recognised has created a “funding gap”.
Paul Kunert, 02 Sep 2014
Sonos_Bridge_free_set_up

Sonos burns its Bridges: Our home-grown Wi-Fi mesh will do

Until now, wireless speaker bod Sonos has required a Bridge device connected to a home wireless router to set up a mesh wireless network delivering timed audio signals to the speakers in a zone. But no longer – Sonos is going bridge-free.
Chris Mellor, 02 Sep 2014
Facebook WhatsApp
8

Facebook, WhatsApp wait on cold steel table as Euro Commish ponders painful probe

Competitors of Facebook and WhatsApp have been asked to complete a whopping 88 multiple-choice, multi-part questions that range from the blindingly obvious – “To the best of your knowledge, do users use more than one social networking service?" – to the vague and indefinable – “Please provide any recent examples of consumers switching from one social networking service to another.”
Jennifer Baker, 02 Sep 2014

Is that a 64-bit ARM Warrior in your pocket? No, it's MIPS64

Chip designer Imagination Technologies today went public about its new processor design – the 64-bit MIPS Warrior I6400.
Chris Williams, 02 Sep 2014
Houses of Parliament at night-time
1

Multi-billion pound UK.gov tech framework awarded to 33 suppliers

Crown Commercial Services has told 33 suppliers they have tentatively made it onto the pan-public sector Technology Products framework estimated to be worth between £4bn to £6bn over its tenure.
Paul Kunert, 02 Sep 2014
Brute force
6

Gang behind '1.2 billion' megahack ransack is pwning our customers – hosting firm

Anecdotal evidence is emerging that the Russian botnet raiders behind the "biggest-ever" password theft have begun attacks against web services using stolen login credentials.
John Leyden, 02 Sep 2014
TX4 Black Cab

Uber alles... nein! Deutschland imposes NATIONWIDE BAN on taxi app

Uber has been banned in Germany after a court in Frankfurt imposed a temporary injunction on the driving firm.
iPhone forensics beaten image

Vodafone pay-by-bonk launch may signal iPhone 6 NFC plans

Vodafone has announced that its SmartPass technology will work with TfL’s systems when the London Underground starts accepting mobile pay-by-bonk on 16 September – but bigger things are planned.
Simon Rockman, 02 Sep 2014
Apple Store by Joka2000

Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

Apple has finally confessed to the reasons why developers' iOS apps are failing to appear in its vaunted App Store.
Gavin Clarke, 02 Sep 2014

It's official: Brit parents want their kids to be just like Steve Bong

Steve Bong is a role model for British parents, who – according to a back-of-the-beermat poll – think a career as a tech entrepreneur would be much more beneficial to their offspring than becoming a vet or a banker, or joining the police.
Team Register, 02 Sep 2014

Cave scrawls show that Neanderthals were AT LEAST as talented as modern artists

A primitive and seemingly meaningless marking chiselled into a rock by a Neanderthal using a crude implement more than 39,000 years ago would appear to support the idea that the pre-human ape-men possessed artistic faculties at least as sophisticated as those of the "young British artists" movement of the '90s.
Lewis Page, 02 Sep 2014

Logicalis tap up software developer, buys majority stake

Analysts and vendors are constantly telling channel partners to move sideways into software development and Logicalis has done just that by grabbing a majority stake in German outfit ituma.
Paul Kunert, 02 Sep 2014
8

Flurry of solar flare-ups sets off COSMIC PLASMA EXPLOSION

Vid Footage of solar flares taken by the NASA Solar Dynamics Observatory.

Govt waves stick at pirate-friendly Google search

Culture Secretary Sajid Javid has threatened to introduce legislation if Google doesn’t stop promoting pirate sites above legitimate sites in its organic search results.
Andrew Orlowski, 02 Sep 2014

Not even CRIMINALS want your tablets, Blighty - but if that's an iPhone you're waving...

UK smartphone thieves prefer iPhones while their light-fingered counterparts in Germany favour Android, according to the results of a new survey.
John Leyden, 02 Sep 2014
Wired for sound

Pimp my lounge and pierce my ceiling: Home theatre goes OTT

Breaking Fad As Steve May wrote in the previous Breaking Fad, Dolby Atmos for the home is an impressive sound system, and this year will see the release of a range of kit that supports it from several manufacturers.
Nigel Whitfield, 02 Sep 2014
management big_data4

IT Infrastructure Challenges? IBM has an event just for you

Promo Here is your invite to IBM’s premier Infrastructure Matters event at Prince Philip House in central London on Wednesday 10 September.
David Gordon, 02 Sep 2014
Cellular antenna. Source: Vxla/Flickr
2

Ericssson-LG jumps on South Korean cloud to make 5G rain

Ericsson-LG – a joint venture company between the two communications giants – has jumped into bed with Korean telco SKT to build software to control 5G networks.
Simon Rockman, 02 Sep 2014
Team Boston at the ISC student cluster competition
1

American HPC cluster kids feed data-nomming beast with fat nodes

HPC Blog Two student teams from the United States travelled to the ISC’14 Student Cluster Competition in Leipzig, Germany to defend the red, white and blue – and, perhaps, to bring the ISC cluster Chalice of Victory* to the US for the first time.
Azure Index

Azure Australia is ALIVE, but not not for the likes of you, just yet

Microsoft has announced that its two Australian Azure bit barns are up and running, in a “private preview”.
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2014
anonymity

iOS phone phlaw can UNMASK anonymous social media users

iThing Users can be identified, images of their faces captured and their phones forced to call numbers – all thanks to coding schemes affecting Facebook, Google, and Twitter, among other sites and services, security researchers say.
Darren Pauli, 02 Sep 2014
Spam
6

Security rEsrchRs find nu way 2 spot TXT spam

Symantec boffins reckon it's no longer enough to shield e-mail users from malicious email and that spam and phishing over SMS are now worthy of some decent defences. They've even penned a study to back up the proposition, suggesting that SMS spam could be 97 per cent detectable with a false positive rate as low as 0.02 per cent.
Microsoft OneDrive

SHARE 'N' SINK: OneDrive corrupting Office 2013 files

OneDrive users are complaining that Microsoft's sync 'n' share service corrupts Office 2013 files when they attempt to open them.
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2014
Spam
4

Singapore slings £18k fine at text-spam-spaffing biz owner

A Singapore tuition agency and its director have become the first to be prosecuted and fined under the country’s Personal Data Protection Act (PDPA), which came into force on 2 January 2014.
OUT-LAW.COM, 02 Sep 2014
iCloud brute force

Apple, FBI: YES we're looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

The Federal Bureau of Investigation and Apple are examining the theft of a large cache of naked celebrity photos, thought by many to perhaps have been snaffled from the fruity firm's iCloud backup silos.
Darren Pauli, 02 Sep 2014
Shrieking Eel
6

South Korea's top wireless carrier builds Internet of Eels

Eels, a staple in many world cuisines, are apparently more sensitive to their environment when grown in aquaculture facilities than they are in the wild, so South Korean farmers are turning to industrial automation to give them a hand.
Robot wearing mortar board and brandishing certificates
9

Microsoft changes cert test providers, hints at fun new exams

Microsoft will part ways with Prometric, the outfit that currently provides exams for some of Redmond's certifications.
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2014

Epiphany hits Raspberry Pi founders, users

The Raspberry Pi now has its very own web browser.
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2014
By Frank Wouters, licensed under CC 2.0

Russia: SEXY LIZARDS which landed FROM SPACE are all DEAD

Russia's space agency has made the announcement everyone must have been fearing: after being launched, lost, and recovered, its famed “sex geckos” have all died.
2

Transparency by Telstra: a good start but not enough

Telstra probably thought it was doing the right thing by joining other big names and publishing a transparency report. Instead, it's become a focus of criticism for, in the eyes of 'net freedom advocates, handing over too much customer information on too little pretext.
Docker Red Hat
1

Cisco climbs aboard containerisation cloudwagon, with security reservations

Cisco has climbed aboard the containerisation cloudwagon, hinting that it will make Docker and Linux containers a part of its emerging “Intercloud”.
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2014
Tesla Model S
8

Tesla to add charging network in China

Tesla has announced that it intends to build a huge charging network in China: 400 stations in 120 cities, and 20 supercharging stations.
Burning copyright symbol. Photo by: Martin Fisch http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/ on flickr"
4

Carrier club's careful copyright conga

Australia's carriers club, the Communications Alliance, has published its submission to the federal government's copyright inquiry after an early copy hit media inboxes.
NBN Co Customer premises equipment
2

Vertigan killed FTTP but the battle for scalable FTTN has not begun

At a conference early this year, I attended a talk by a major Australian industry association. The talk's only good feature was its possible use as a cure for insomnia.
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2014
Windows XP

Windows 7 settles as Windows XP use finally starts to slip … a bit

Windows XP lost nearly one per cent of global market share during August, according to both Netmarketshare and StatCounter, but there's not been a corresponding bounce in the prevalence of other Microsoft operating systems.
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2014

China sends THREE teams to HPC whizzkid shindig in Germany

HPC Blog China was solidly represented at the ISC’14 Student Cluster Competition in Leipzig, sending three teams to compete for the legendary "Cluster Cup".
Smiling child with head in hands

BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

Comment The BBC now has a policy of attaching an educational theme to each year that will be rammed into as many programmes as possible and will run across all of its channels and websites.
Dominic Connor, 01 Sep 2014

Twitter: La la la, we have not heard of any NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES

Twitter's top policy bod has refused to dismiss claims that people who tweet leaked private photos of naked female celebrities are having their accounts suspended on the social jabber site.
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Sep 2014
EU Bods look to future of UHF

Steelie Neelie: Enjoy your EXCLUSIVE UHF spectrum in 2020, mobile operators

Europe’s digital chief presented a report on Monday that sets out a plan to redistribute access to the Ultra High Frequency (UHF) spectrum band.
Jennifer Baker, 01 Sep 2014
2

Tech kingpins: Your kit would be tastier with a spot of open source

Storagebod As storage infrastructure companies try to move to a more software oriented world, they are having to try different things to try to grab our business.
StorageBod, 01 Sep 2014
Sad Anonymous

Europol picks Brit to lead new international cybercrime taskforce

European police agency Europol has launched an counter-cybercrime taskforce.
John Leyden, 01 Sep 2014
Roy Lichtenstein Wham! Bang!

DRAM whammer Kaminario bigs up K2 biz

Comment Upstart Kaminario seems pleased with its position at the summit of flash array performance with its SPC benchmark-topping K2 all-flash arrays. But this mid-pack player may need to emerge from the herd to prove it has what it takes.
Chris Mellor, 01 Sep 2014
iPhone forensics beaten image

Apple to devs: NO slurping users' HEALTH for sale to Dark Powers

Apple is expected to unveil new products that will use the latest version of its iOS operating system, including new iPhones, on 9 September. But app developers – who've already had their hands on the mobile OS since June – will be prevented from making sensitive user data available to third parties using the "HealthKit" platform.
OUT-LAW.COM, 01 Sep 2014
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

Google has spaffed more cash on lobbying this year than Big Cable

Google has single-handedly outspent Big Cable in terms of lobbying dollars so far in 2014.
Andrew Orlowski, 01 Sep 2014
Japanse suspension bridge
2

Wonderful wizard of WOS daddy DDN moves into big data

Comment HPC and supercomputer storage company Data Direct Networks (DDN) says its move into enterprise big data is providing a bridge to profits, with 100 per cent revenue growth.
Chris Mellor, 01 Sep 2014
Syrian electronic army
9

Second hacking crew joins Syrian Electronic Army on Team Assad

A second hacking crew has weighed into the conflict in Syria on the side of embattled Syrian president Bashar al-Assad.
John Leyden, 01 Sep 2014
A watch with hands

Chumps stump up $1 MEELLLION for watch that doesn't exist

An Indiegogo project to build a watch that projects its display onto your hand has blown the doors off its target by raising a million dollars in funding – even though no functional device has yet been built.
Simon Rockman, 01 Sep 2014

Woe, Daddy! GoDaddy customers wail as hosting service GOES TITSUP

Hosting outfit GoDaddy is suffering what appears to be a pretty widespread outage hitting website operators in the UK this morning.
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Sep 2014
Microsoft-themed Monopoly board

China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain

China's antitrust regulator has given Microsoft 20 days to hand over a written explanation of how the Windows OS works together with the bundled Office software suite as part of its probe into the firm’s alleged monopoly activities.
External view of the Vulture 2, with launch rod
3

Vulture 2 X-Plane soars over Spaceport America

It's hats off to Tennessee X-Plane ace Billy Bargagliotti this fine Monday morning, as we announce he's wrapped no less than four virtual versions of our Vulture 2 rocket ship.
Lester Haines, 01 Sep 2014
Kim Jong-un

HP: NORKS' cyber spying efforts actually a credible cyberthreat

North Korea is ramping up its cyber spying efforts to the point where it is becoming a credible threat against Western enterprises and government, security researchers at HP warn.
John Leyden, 01 Sep 2014
Chetan_Venkatesh
6

The man who found Atlantis: 14PB of storage, flashy models and Moore's Law

Interview Chetan Venkatesh is the latest subject in Willem ter Harmsel’s interview series. As the founder of Atlantis, he provided a great background to Atlantis.
Fusion-io ioSgale 3.2TB card
1

How to grill an American VC... on the storage upstart world

Interview How do VCs view the storage startup world? Willem ter Harmsel talks to Alex Benik, a partner at Battery Ventures, where he focuses on IT infrastructure technologies. He previously worked for the Yankee Group.
Google UK office logos
8

Google could be a great partner for Iliad in its quest for T-Mobile

Comment French operator Iliad may have had its $15bn bid for T-Mobile USA rejected and branded “preposterous”, but it is unlikely to give up too easily in its attempt to bring its disruptive practices – which have already created commercial havoc in France – to the US.
Faultline, 01 Sep 2014
Whale Oil

NZ Justice Minister scalped as hacker leaks emails

A hacker has claimed the scalp of New Zealand Justice Minister Judith Collins by releasing information showing a purported campaign to undermine government officials.
Darren Pauli, 01 Sep 2014

Rubbish WPS config sees WiFi router keys popped in seconds

Passwords within routers sold by chipset manufacturer Broadcom and another unnamed vendor can be accessed within seconds thanks to weak or absent key randomisation, security bod Dominique Bongard has claimed.
Darren Pauli, 01 Sep 2014

Virgin Media blocks 'wankers' from permissible passwords

Virgin Media likes its fun-and-slightly-naughty image, but not, it seems, in its passwords.
1

Hot students, 'liquid coolant', bagpipes and Brazilians: It's a cluster compo, folks

HPC Blog Both the UK and South America were ably represented at the recent 2014 International Supercomputing Conference Student Cluster Competition, held in Leipzig, Germany. For some reason, I want to Google up trendy cuisine to see if Scottish-Brazilian fusion restaurants actually exist. But I'm afraid of the possible results – so let's rather take a close and personal look at these two teams....
Oracle's Iron Man 2 ad

European Commission okays Oracle's MICROS gobble

Oracle's US$5bn purchase of integrated hardware-maker MICROS has been approved by the European Commission.
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2014

Broadcom reveals $20 'Pi in the sky' IoT development widget

Broadcom has released a US$20 Internet of Things thing it hopes will give developers a cut-price way to explore the sensor-tised kinds of applications a wired world enables.
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2014
4

Yahoo! YUI! project! is! no! more!

Yahoo! has announced that its Yahoo! User Interface (YUI) project is redundant in the age of node.js and better browsers.
Still from Miley Cyrus music video for Wrecking Ball

Facebook, Google and Instagram 'worse than drugs' says Miley Cyrus

Offensively-and-dangerously-in-control of her sexuality popette Miley Cyrus has declared that social media is worse than drugs.
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2014
Cyber Technology's Jet-powered drone
2

Jet-powered DRONE-maker slapped for illegal exports

An Australian maker of drones – no, not the toys beloved of Jeff Bezos, a more serious kind – has copped both fines and confiscations after trying to export its products without a permit.
management regulation2

Redmond resists order to hand over overseas email

Microsoft is holding out against a US court order asking it to provide investigators with customers' personal information held offshore.
Sorry we're closed

Hardkernel nixes RPi clone project

Hardkernel, which last month announced its intention to build a Raspberry Pi clone, has abruptly quit the idea.
Steam engine

Australia deflates Valve with Steam sueball

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has fired the sueball-gun at Valve, accusing the game-maker of trying to dodge Australian consumer law.
Brute Force

One HUNDRED FAMOUS LADIES exposed NUDE online

Naked photos of celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Ariana Grande have been published online by an anonymous hacker who reportedly obtained the explicit pics from the victims' Apple iCloud accounts.
Darren Pauli, 31 Aug 2014
Umbrella
5

Today's weather is brought to you by BigCorp.com

The most popular site on the dot-gov-au domain, the Bureau of Meteorology, has been okayed to start taking advertising – with some restrictions.
Donuts

Apple reportedly inks deal with American Express for its iPhone payments system

Apple has reportedly agreed to work with American Express on its new iPhone 6 payment system - which is now just nine days away from being unveiled by Cupertino.
Team Register, 31 Aug 2014

Google flushes out users of old browsers by serving up CLUNKY, AGED version of search

Google is attempting to shunt users away from old browsers by intentionally serving up a stale version of the ad giant's search homepage to those holdouts.
Kelly Fiveash, 31 Aug 2014
lava
9

Volcanic eruption in Iceland triggers CODE RED aviation warning

A fresh volcanic eruption in Iceland forced officials at the country's Met Office to temporarily issue a code red aviation warning, after lava spewed 50 metres into the air in the early hours of Sunday morning.
Kelly Fiveash, 31 Aug 2014
Bisley rifle range target. Credit: Darryl Stark

What do you mean, I have to POST a PHYSICAL CHEQUE to get my gun licence?

One thing the British state does well is waste money – as evidenced by its pouring of taxpayers' cash into millionaire model Lily Cole's online wishing well Impossible.com, or, say, fining itself hundreds of thousands for its pisspoor data security practices. Yet when it comes to firearms licensing, surprisingly few people see the benefit of replacing ancient paper-based files with a modern computerised system.
Gareth Corfield, 31 Aug 2014
Sad Anonymous

GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

A number of protesters haranguing UK spies stationed at the country's Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) have taken to apparently drinking human urine to publicise their disgust with the eavesdropping nerve centre's surveillance tactics.
Team Register, 31 Aug 2014
Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/eddiedangerous/ licensed under creative commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ please attribute

'I think photographers get TOO MUCH copyright for their work'

CoTW Copyright is a basic property right. It's one of those fundamental things you just don't muck around with: if someone creates something and others want to use it, they should be paid. Everyone agrees with this - except for one Register reader...
Gareth Corfield, 31 Aug 2014
Sprint CEO Marcelo Claure
9

Report: Sprint to bring Sony Xperia into tough US smartphone market

Stateside mobile carrier Sprint is reportedly planning to bring the Sony Xperia handset to the US market for the first time.
Kelly Fiveash, 31 Aug 2014

If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait

Something for the Weekend, Sir? This week I met a gun nut. I knew this immediately because he was an American with a moustache. Americans with moustaches are always gun nuts. Don’t blame me, I don’t make the rules. It is simply the way of things.
Alistair Dabbs, 31 Aug 2014
Sticker sheet

Weekend reads: Colorless Tsukuru, Kool Korea and strange encounters with IKEA wardrobes

Page File El Reg's avid bookworm Mark Diston chews his way through some of the latest foreign language bestsellers recently translated into English and Lucy Orr discovers how South Korea became cool.
Discovery performs its flyaround of the International Space Station as both spacecraft orbit over the Sahara Desert. Pic: NASA TV
9

Discovery BATTLED 2-foot-long WEE ICICLE on first mission - 30 years ago today

Today marks 30 years since the Discovery shuttle set off on the first of its 39 missions into space.
Team Register, 30 Aug 2014

Facebook to let stalkers unearth buried posts with mobe search

Facebook is testing a search feature on its mobile application that will allow users to immerse themselves in forgotten old posts on the free content ad network.
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Aug 2014

Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015

Apple will reportedly not unleash a wearable device at Cupertino's iPhone 6 event on 9 September. And - when the iWatch does arrive - rumours suggest it could carry a $400 price tag.
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Aug 2014
Alienware's Area 51 system uses the new Haswell processors

Alienware injects EVEN MORE ALIEN into redesigned Area-51 gaming PC

Pics Alienware has spent five years honing its Area-51 gaming PC, and - in the process - has sexed up the beast with a menacing-looking new "triad chassis" design.
Team Register, 30 Aug 2014
Using a giant machine gun for propulsion

Love XKCD? Love science? You'll love a book about science from Randall Munroe

Page File They say you shouldn’t get a fan to review a book and it’s certainly tough to be critical when you pick up the new book from Randall Munroe, the much-loved creator of awesome science webcomic XKCD. What If? is a series of usually ridiculous questions from the public to XKCD’s inbox that Munroe answers using science and mathematics.
Grumpy cat

EE fails to apologise for HUGE T-Mobile outage that hit Brits on Friday

Updated Many T-Mobile customers in the UK were without access to the EE-owned network on Friday, after the service went titsup due to a "broken fibre cable".
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Aug 2014

Britain's housing crisis: What are we going to do about it?

Worstall @ the Weekend We talked last week about how macroeconomics is still pretty terrible at telling us what we ought to do about the world around us, which is why I always rather scratch me head at people who insist that rent control is going to be a good way of solving our current housing crisis.
Tim Worstall, 30 Aug 2014

Are we there yet, are we there yet? Ballmer 'like a small child' upon buying basketball club

Microsoft mogul Steve Ballmer was as happy as a kid on Christmas morning getting a new toy, according to the woman who sold him a basketball team.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Aug 2014
Paris Hilton in Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

RIP MSN Messenger, kthxbai. Microsoft finally flicks on KILL SWITCH in China

Microsoft's users in China have been told that the firm's MSN Messenger product will be axed at the end of October - spelling the end of the road for the 15-year-old IM service.
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Aug 2014
5

Tim Cook: 'I'd call what's going on in fondleslabs a speed bump'

QuoTW Time Warner Cable did not have a good week this week. A number of folks came out over the week to tell the Federal Communications Commission that they don’t like the idea of the company merging with Comcast. And in the middle of all that, the firm suffered a massive outage that downed a number of big cities on both the East and West Coasts of the US.
Quooker Fusion

Boiling point: Tech and the perfect cuppa

Review Last week, coffee drinkers were treated to some alternative brewing techniques. So, is there any special gadgetry for those with a taste for tea? Jennifer Newton discovers there’s more to letting off steam than meets the eye.
Jennifer Newton, 30 Aug 2014
Artist's image of asteroids and Mars

NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away

IT administrators at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory are preparing to perform an interplanetary remote wipe and reboot on its Martian Opportunity rover after the decade-old explorer began to get a bit senile.
Iain Thomson, 30 Aug 2014
Angry Birds
9

Angry Birds CEO hops into slingshot, goes 'WEEEEE!'

The CEO of the company behind mobile gaming hit Angry Birds has announced his intention to leave the gaming firm.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Aug 2014
Eugene Kaspersky in Sydney

Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather

Russian security software vendor Kaspersky has yanked an article from its website arguing that netizens shouldn't fear state surveillance unless they had done something wrong in the first place.
Iain Thomson, 29 Aug 2014
Intel Core i7-5960X

Intel unleashed octo-core speed demon for the power-crazed crowd

Intel has released its first eight-core desktop chip, the Intel Core i7-5960X processor Extreme Edition, formerly known as Haswell-E, along with two other slightly slower chips.
Iain Thomson, 29 Aug 2014
Photo of the White House at dusk

America's CTO leaving role for Silicon Valley in White House shakeup

The CTO of the United States is set to resign his post, but will remain with the Obama Administration.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Aug 2014

Ninja Pirate Zombie Vampires versus Chuck Norris and the Space Marines

Weekend Big Data Project No fewer than 1,784 of you kindly volunteered to have your brains slurped in the initial stage of the Weekend Register's pioneering attempt to use hefty-data techniques to solve the most pressing puzzle of our era - namely who would win in a fight: pirates, ninjas, zombies, vampires, werewolves, aliens, robots, jedi, various kinds of human troops, and plucky civilians with improvised weapons?
Lewis Page, 29 Aug 2014
2

They're not a travelling polka band, they're German HPC kids packing Big Iron

HPC blog Home country Germany was well represented at the recent Student Cluster Competition at the 2014 International Supercomputer Show in Leipzig, Germany.
Samba dancer

Community chest: Storage firms need to pay open-source debts

Storagebod Linux and *BSD have completely changed the storage market. They are the core of so many storage products, allowing startups and established vendors alike to bring new products to the market more rapidly than previously possible.
StorageBod, 29 Aug 2014
Bonaparte Before The Sphinx

Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

Comment In a world of where every mobile device contains a personal assistant, who will need mobile apps?
Chris Mellor, 29 Aug 2014
android tongue

Too slow with that iPhone refresh, Apple: Android is GOBBLING up US mobile market

Android made further inroads into the US market at the expense of Apple, according to latest market share snapshot from tech analyst Kantar. Meanwhile, Windows Phone has stalled in 2014.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Aug 2014
Apple iPad 3 aka new iPad

Larger iPad could target big biz, save Apple from low-end scrum

Analysis As has been increasingly the case with smartphones, the tablet market is shifting away from an Apple/Samsung head-to-head, and becoming a free-for-all.
Wireless Watch, 29 Aug 2014
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/
8

FIRST LOOK: Gartner gurus present all-flash prognostications

Gartner's gurus have completed their prognostications and their all-flash array magic quadrant has been released upon an anticipative flash array world - and The Register has seen a copy.
Chris Mellor, 29 Aug 2014
Cryptowall ransomware notice

KER-CHING! CryptoWall ransomware scam rakes in $1 MEEELLION

Victims of the CryptoWall ransomware have been extorted out of at least $1m.
John Leyden, 29 Aug 2014

Nokia: Read these Maps, Samsung – we're HERE for the Gear

For Nokia, getting Samsung – the world’s biggest smartphone manufacturer – to use its HERE Maps is a huge win.
Simon Rockman, 29 Aug 2014
CSR10X0 Starter Development Kit
3

Brit chip biz CSR rebuffs US takeover bid from Microchip Technologies

Fabless Bluetooth chip firm CSR, the second biggest chip design company in Cambridge, has rebuffed a takeover bid by customer and partner Microchip Technology.
Simon Rockman, 29 Aug 2014

SIEMs like a good idea: How to manage security in real time

Live webcast Register now for this webcast that explains how security information and event management (SIEM) can work, what it does, and how to fit it into your existing security environment.
David Gordon, 29 Aug 2014

We need less U.S. in our WWW – Euro digital chief Steelie Neelie

Europe’s digital chief Neelie Kroes will reiterate her commitment to “international governance of the internet” later today – that’s code for a smaller role for the US.
Jennifer Baker, 29 Aug 2014
Pigeon crapping on statue
4

Hyper-converged flash appliances are COMING. Here's one I dreamed up earlier...

Hyper-converged server/storage/networking systems use disks for storage. This is a temporary situation and all-flash hyper-converged appliances will come soon.
Chris Mellor, 29 Aug 2014
9

Exclusive SPB t-shirt flies into Kickstarter

Our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) Kickstarter tin-rattling is, er, rattling along nicely, and we offer sincere thanks to those who've already chosen to back our audacious spaceplane ballocket launch in New Mexico.
Lester Haines, 29 Aug 2014
Taxi Driver

Uber, Lyft and cutting corners: The true face of the Sharing Economy

Analysis More allegations have emerged of dodgy tactics on the part of car ride app Uber and rival Lyft – this time relating to so-called "brand ambassadors".
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Aug 2014
Sheep muster
2

The A-to-Z of storage news: Your quick 'n' dirty tasting menu

The time around VMworld - which runs from 25 to 28 August in San Francisco – saw a frenetic pace of announcements which were obliterated from the main news radar screens by things like VMware’s EVO: RAIL. Here’a catch-up list of many of them.
Chris Mellor, 29 Aug 2014

Euro banks will rip out EVERYTHING and buy proper backend systems ... LOL, fooled ya

European banks are in a "holding pattern" when it comes to integrating the latest technology into their core banking systems, with the majority only carrying out modernisation initiatives when necessary rather than with a view towards long-term transformation, according to a new survey.
OUT-LAW.COM, 29 Aug 2014
Falcon 1 launches from Kwajalein
2

Server sales show signs of slight surge

Server sales continue to rise, according to IDC's new Worldwide Quarterly Server Tracker, which suggests the long-term outlook for servers might even be half-way decent.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
Ice cream

Ice cream headache as black hat hacks sack Dairy Queen

Ice cream mogul Dairy Queen appears to have been breached with hackers likely stealing credit cards from some of its many US stores.
Darren Pauli, 29 Aug 2014
Storage disks, photo: Gavin Clarke

Like condoms, data now comes in big and HUGE sizes

If condoms were made in a range of different sizes, the old joke goes, the options would be “huge”, “gigantic” and “enormous”.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
Peter Capaldi as Dr Who. Credit: BBC

Ofcom will not probe lesbian lizard snog in new Dr Who series

Ofcom has declined to probe the BBC after it received complaints about the screening of a kiss between a lizard-like character and her human wife during an episode of Doctor Who.
Jasper Hamill, 29 Aug 2014
Galileo

Software bug caught Galileo sats in landslide, no escape from reality

The European Space Agency's (ESA's) embarrassment at having two of its Galileo satnav birds land in the wrong orbit has been blamed on bad programming of the Soyuz craft that hauled the satellites aloft.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
Julie Bishop & Marty Natelagawa
4

Australia makes pinkie-promise to end Indonesia spying

Australia has signed a code of conduct to promise not to spy on Indonesia's elected officials in a bid to heal seeping wounds opened by NSA leaks.
Darren Pauli, 29 Aug 2014
Winnie-the-Pooh honey

Feds salute plucky human ROBOT-FIGHTERS

The United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has announced over US$12,000 in prizes in its “Zapping Rachel” robocall contest, which was held at this year's DEFCON hacking conference in Las Vegas.
Iain Thomson, 29 Aug 2014
Mozilla's 'Tiles' ad format

Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies

The Mozilla Foundation's controversial plan to bring ads into the Firefox browser has commenced, with new nightlies of the Firefox browser now including the Directory Tiles feature that users hated in its last implementation.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
VMware logo
3

Suppose they gave a VMworld and vSphere didn't show up?

VMworld 2014 A hypothetical VMworld 2014 attendee utterly unfamiliar with VMware could conceivably have emerged from the event unaware that the company's flagship product is called vSphere.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
Google UK office logos

Google's 'Captain Moonshot': I will BOMB you with DELIVERIES

Google has unveiled a new programme to build autonomous delivery drones that are capable of carrying items into remote areas.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Aug 2014
IT Crowd. Source: Channel 4 / 2entertain
9

Gamma's not a goner! UK ISP sorts out major outage

British ISP Gamma Partners is blaming BT for a 13-hour break in its data and communications services but says the problem has now been fixed.
Iain Thomson, 29 Aug 2014
management regulation1

TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit

Google will pocket a tidy $1.3m in fees after prevailing in a case against a patent holding firm that turned on its customers.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Aug 2014
4

Want to buy T-Mobile US? Yours for $35 per share – report

The parent company of US mobile telco bad boy T-Mobile has reportedly decided it will sell the firm, after two failed bids, and has set its price at $35 per share.
Iain Thomson, 28 Aug 2014
Apple panel patent

End of buttons? Apple looks to patent animating iPhone sidewalls

Apple has filed for a patent on technology to put small displays in the sidewalls of a smartphone.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Aug 2014
HP

HP busts out new ProLiant Gen9 servers

Hewlett-Packard has announced the first in a series of new Gen9 servers, racks and blades it reckons turn HP’s existing designs on their head.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Aug 2014

Top beak: UK privacy law may be reconsidered because of social media

The pace of technological change and rise of social media "may make it inevitable" that UK privacy laws need to be revised and updated, the country's most senior judge has said.
OUT-LAW.COM, 28 Aug 2014
Bubble
2

Welcome to the HYPER-converged bubble of HYPE! Enjoy it while it's here, storage folk

Comment The hype around hyper-converged systems is huge. Are we experiencing a hyper-converged systems bubble?
Chris Mellor, 28 Aug 2014
A person measuring her waistline

Tim Cook in Applerexia fears: New MacBook THINNER THAN EVER

Apple is preparing to release a MacBook which tabloid newspapers might describe as "worryingly thin", supply chain sources have claimed.
Jasper Hamill, 28 Aug 2014
Violin_to Q2_Fy2015
2

All-flash array shipper Violin plays concerto after re-stringing

+Comment Violin CEO Kevin DeNuccio has cut the flash array shipper's losses to a fraction of what they were in their previous results, and grown revenue over the previous quarter. It’s still lower than a year ago, but a landmark for all that. Violin is no longer on the road to perdition.
Chris Mellor, 28 Aug 2014
IBM Watson QA Power7 cluster

IBM: OK, Watson, you've won Jeopardy. Now, CURE CANCER

IBM has found yet another use for its Jeopardy-winning Watson supercomputer, launching a new system called Watson Discovery Advisor to analyse scientific and medical research.

Racing Post escapes ICO fine after leaking info of 677K punters

UK sports-betting newspaper the Racing Post has received a stern warning – but not a fine – after it emerged that it had aired the private details of more than 677,000 customers as the result of a security breach last year.
John Leyden, 28 Aug 2014

'Stop dissing Google or quit': OK, I quit, says Code Club co-founder

+Comment A founder of the volunteer technology education group Code Club has resigned, claiming she was warned not to criticise the group’s sponsors – which include Google.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Aug 2014
Groupon office screen
4

Groupon sales reps' overtime pay suit not eligible for class action

Groupon sales staff have failed to get class action status for their lawsuit against the firm, which accuses the voucher bazaar of not bothering to pay them for overtime before and after its 2011 IPO.
Russia

Russia-based hackers prime suspects in JPMorgan mega-breach

The FBI has begun investigating a suspected hacking attack against JPMorgan Chase and another unnamed bank that resulted in the leak of gigabytes of sensitive data.
John Leyden, 28 Aug 2014

Samsung Gear S: Quick, LAUNCH IT – before Apple straps on iWatch

Samsung's Gear S appears to have pipped Apple's iWatch to the post.
Jasper Hamill, 28 Aug 2014

Rejoice, Windows fans: Stable 64-bit Chromium drops for Win 7 and 8

Smoother video is on the way for fans of Google's Chrome browser on Windows 7 and 8.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Aug 2014

LOHAN wrapped in vinyl as Kickstarter campaign hits £18,000!

Our Kickstarter bid to raise £30,000 for the New Mexico launch of our Vulture 2 spaceplane hit £18,489 this morning (Monday 1 September), shortly after we took delivery of some sample Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) vinyl stickers.
Lester Haines, 28 Aug 2014
Chesterfield’s twisted spire: Local Store Manager, Adam Osowski, with fellow EE employee
7

EE plonks 4G in UK Prime Minister's backyard

While EE didn’t win our Monopoly board coverage survey, the formerly fruity network did prove to be top dog for data speeds – and that’s down to having more spectrum than its rivals.
Simon Rockman, 28 Aug 2014
Alun Taylor dons Google tech specs Google Glass

Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?

Review Seldom has a device been so reviled and praised at the same time. But is Google Glass the future of wearable connectivity or simply the toy of the self-appointed tech elite?
Alun Taylor, 28 Aug 2014

LOHAN tunes into ultra long range radio

Our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) Vulture 2 spaceplane has taken a massive leap in transmitting power with the installation of a mighty 900MHz ultra long range radio module - the RFD 900u Radio Modem by Oz's RF Design.
Lester Haines, 28 Aug 2014

Pay to play: The hidden cost of software defined everything

An oscilloscope manufacturer this month slapped a hacking enthusiast's website with a DMCA take-down order after he revealed how you could unlock extra, low-cost options in one of the vendor's systems using a series of simple workarounds.
Stuart Burns, 28 Aug 2014
Bees

Researchers camouflage haxxor traps with fake application traffic

Honeypots just got sweeter after researchers cooked up new digital bait designed to tempt hackers into revealing themselves by tapping into what are faked communications between an enterprise application and its users.
Darren Pauli, 28 Aug 2014
Intel's XMM 6255

Chipzilla gives birth to a TINY comms chip

Intel has shrunk a 3G-plus-power amplifier combo with a 300 square millimetre footprint, which it's targeting at Internet of Things applications.
Zocalo video
1

AWS Zocalo squares up to box Box, Dropbox, sync 'n' share flocks

Enterprise sync 'n' share appears an unlikely battleground for a rolling brawl between startups and enterprise titans, but that's what's happening out there today.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
heart.brazil

MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

A Brazilian town populated solely by "extremely attractive" women is looking for obedient and well-behaved men to come and, erm, romance them.
Jasper Hamill, 28 Aug 2014
netflix
7

Netflix releases home-grown DDoS detectors

NetFlix's security team has given the open source treatment to three tools it uses to monitor the internet and gather evidence of planned attacks against its infrastructure.
Darren Pauli, 28 Aug 2014

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Microsoft has turned 1,500 applications out of the Windows Store, the app bazaar for Windows 8 devices.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
Cisco UCS B200 M3 blade server
2

Cisco teases UCS refresh with most of 2014's best buzzwords

September starts next week, and so does the season for flashy mega-launches by huge silicon valley concerns.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
Termination point

NBN predicts a million premises next year

NBN users are data-hungry beasts, and while the move from early-adopter to mainstream is expanding the number of users on lower-speed plans, around two-thirds of the 210,000 connected customers are on speeds above 25 Mbps.
Solar filament eruption of August 31, 2012
3

Neutrinos lay bare solar proton reactions

A key prediction of solar physics, that its nuclear reactions should emit neutrinos with a particular signature, has been confirmed according to scientists at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
Double Facepalm; when one facepalm is not enough.

Oz fed police in PDF redaction SNAFU

You can't make this stuff up: one of the lead agencies involved in agitating for Australia to implement a data retention regime has fallen prey to not knowing how to properly redact information in PDFs.
Suspected thigh bone on Mars spotted by Curiosity

Rickety rock deemed unworthy of Curiosity's drill

NASA's plans to conduct its fourth major drilling project have been called off after the proposed target, dubbed Bonanza King, proved unstable.
Iain Thomson, 28 Aug 2014

Oz metadata proposal: no to IP addresses, yes to MAC address logging

Australia's federal government continues to say its proposed (but not yet drafted) metadata retention laws won't impose any new requirements on telecommunications carriers and ISPs.
The new Twitter logo. Pic: Twitter
6

Twitter gives ANALYTICS to the unwashed masses

Twitter has announced that it is making its full analytics platform available to everyone.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Aug 2014
management regulation2

Apple tried to get a ban on Galaxy, judge said: NO, NO, NO

The Apple-Samsung lawsuit in the US continues its inch-wise progress, with Judge Lucy Koh deciding against giving Apple a permanent injunction to stop Samsung selling smartphones – even though by now they are mostly obsolete.