The Week in Summary

Emulex ends seven-quarter run of losses

+Comment After seven straight quarters of losses, Emulex has made a $4.3m profit in its second financial 2015 quarter – but that performance might not be repeated next quarter.
Chris Mellor, 30 Jan 2015
Shot of D-Wave's 16 qubit chip

Quantum of Suspicion: Despite another $29m, D-Wave doubts remain

Controversial quantum computing venture D-Wave Systems has scooped $29m in lovely fresh cash, courtesy of investors, despite lingering doubts about whether what it offers can be considered "quantum".
Gavin Clarke, 30 Jan 2015
Woman slaps man. Pic: Shutterstock

Fujitsu slapped down in Land of the FALLING YEN

Revenue dropped 2.4 per cent at Japanese IT giant Fujitsu to ¥1,171.5bn (£6.6bn, $9.9bn) in the firm's third-quarter results, when compared with the same period last year, although a fall in the yen propped up non-domestic revenue levels.
Kat Hall, 30 Jan 2015
Broken CD with wrench

UK official LOSES Mark Duggan shooting discs IN THE POST

Discs containing information from three sensitive police inquiries – two of which involved‪ highly controversial shootings in London, including that of Mark Duggan – ‬have gone missing after being sent through the post. Yeah, you read that right: sent through the post.
John Leyden, 30 Jan 2015
Tim Cook as Mr T

Apple CEO: Fandroids are BINNING Android in favour of IPHONES

Apple is wolfing down KitKats and Lollipops for lunch after it emerged that most iPhone 6 users have come from Android.
Simon Rockman, 30 Jan 2015

Google forced to - gasp! - OBEY the LAW on data-slurp transparency

Google has agreed to change its privacy policy to comply with the Data Protection Act following an investigation by Blighty's data watchdog into its harvesting of personal information.
Kat Hall, 30 Jan 2015
iPhone 6 Plus opened up
1

Smartphones merge into homogeneous mass as 'flagship fatigue' bites

People are turning away from pricey "flagship" smartphones sold on complicated expensive contracts, according to industry figures.
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Jan 2015
3

Mobe-hungry BT's sales slip over Xmas amid EE buyout silence

Sales at one-time state telco monopoly BT fell by three per cent to £4.48bn in its third quarter, the company announced today.
Kat Hall, 30 Jan 2015

Whee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

BT has announced that it wants to roll out G.fast and fibre to the home to provide internet speeds of up to 500Mbps and 1Gbps.
Simon Rockman, 30 Jan 2015
6

Oracle is BETTER at cloud than everyone else so NER, shouts Hurd (no Katz)

Oracle’s co-CEO Mark Hurd is banging the drum for the database giant’s success in cloud computing.
Gavin Clarke, 30 Jan 2015
Dying Light
5

Undead nights: Zombie FPS Dying Light shines bright

Game Theory Dying Light is set in the devastated city of Harran, Turkey, and my first impression on hitting the ground, as freelance operative Kyle Crane, is that I’m trapped in some zombie-infested remake of American Sniper but with graffiti that seems more of a nod to the latest issue of Charlie Hebdo.
Lucy Orr, 30 Jan 2015
Starry_night_tech_bed_3
9

Sky sidles up to O2, whispers: 'Fancy a little FOUR-PLAY?'

As we predicted, Sky is to launch an MVNO and get competitive against the other networks' four-play offerings.
Simon Rockman, 30 Jan 2015
ARP Odyssey Korg reissue
6

Synths of the father: Making some noise at NAMM 2015

+Vids If you want to get an idea of how pop music will be sounding in 2015, then this year's exhibition of the National Association of Music Merchants, better known as the NAMM Show, that took place in California last week was the place to be – think of it as CES for musos.
Paul Wiffen, 30 Jan 2015
8

UK watchdog grills big biz: So HOW do you use their 'consumer data'?

The UK's main competition regulator is looking to build its knowledge of how consumer data is collected, used and traded by businesses.
OUT-LAW.COM, 30 Jan 2015
4

HP: We're gonna book $1bn worth of Server 2003 sales THIS WEEK

A Windows Server 2003 customer migration blitzkrieg is underway at HP's as it tries to generate $1bn of x86-related sales this week, squeezing a month’s worth of customer deals into just seven days.
Paul Kunert, 30 Jan 2015

Outlook for iOS does security STUPIDLY, says dev

Big Blue boffin Rene Winkelwyer has taken aim at Microsoft's iOS Outlook app, launched overnight, claiming it stores credentials in the cloud potentially even after delete requests, and does not observe known good security practices.
Darren Pauli, 30 Jan 2015
alibaba logo

Alibaba's magic cave empties as it misses revenue target

Chinese online tat bazaar Alibaba has not only posted disappointing results, been caned by the stock market but now has also fallen foul of China's government for knowingly hosting sellers of counterfeit kit.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jan 2015
Bonfire. Pic: DiAnn L'Roy, Flickr

EMC grows new 'Enterprise Content Division'

Another attempted reboot for Documentum EMC's Documentum business has limped along for years now, but now has a spring in its step after rebranding and acquiring a new leader.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jan 2015
Grindr

Wham, bam... premium rate scam: Grindr users hit with fun-killing charges

Malicious ads from third parties have been piggy-backing on the gay dating app Grindr to run a premium rate number scam.
John Leyden, 30 Jan 2015
Noctilucent_clouds

Quantum adds cloud tier to StorNext

Quantum has added cloud storage to its StorNext file virtualisation package, embedding it in the workflow process as just another tier.
Chris Mellor, 30 Jan 2015
Spying image

A docket, tweet and selfie can reveal your identity, boffins find

Scientists have revealed it is possible to determine the identity of shoppers using credit card purchase and location metadata, in research that throws a spanner into national privacy laws.
Darren Pauli, 30 Jan 2015

OH HAPPY DAY! Lawyers replaced by AI

Artificial intelligence is a worry on two fronts. In a worst-case scenario, we end up with The Terminator. In a less-painful scenario, we end up with billions of humans out of work as drudgery is replaced by machines.
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jan 2015
Bill Gates Reddit video
5

Reddit: Don't worry, we didn't tell that foreign government about your /r/brony addiction

4chan-with-karma-points Reddit has published its first dossier on government demands for users' private records – and the stupidly popular messageboard says it handed over the goods 32 times last year.
Shaun Nichols, 30 Jan 2015

Hey, America. Canada's watchdog just slapped net neutrality rules on wireless internet

A decision by Canadian telecoms regulator CRTC may have significant implications after it applied net neutrality rules to wireless connections.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Jan 2015
botnet
6

We take bots down, but they get up again – you're never going to keep them down

A combined attack on one of the world's biggest networks of infected PCs has been partially successful: analysis from Dell SecureWorks shows you can't keep a bad botnet down.
Iain Thomson, 30 Jan 2015
2

iTunes Connect does developer shuffle

Apple has kicked off an impromptu game of musical chairs on iTunes Connect dropping developers into random accounts including one lucky punter who was allegedly handed Blackberry's portal.
Darren Pauli, 30 Jan 2015
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos
1

Amazon, flush with cash, says it will let you peek inside AWS' pants

Amazon left smiles on investors' faces on Thursday following a fourth-quarter earnings report that trounced analysts' estimates.
Neil McAllister, 30 Jan 2015
6

Google's latest letdown: Simply not enough billions since October

Google's coffers swelled once again in the fourth quarter of its fiscal 2014, with revenues hitting $18.10bn, a 15.3 per cent year-on-year increase.
Neil McAllister, 30 Jan 2015

'Revenge porn' bully told not to post people's nude pics online. That's it. That's his punishment

Notorious "revenge porn" tormentor Craig Brittain has been banned from posting people's nude photos on his website or anywhere else online – and ordered to destroy thousands of pictures in his possession.
Kieren McCarthy, 30 Jan 2015
Nokia Lumia 930
3

Mobile broadband giants blow $45bn on Uncle Sam's finest air

Cell networks in the US have spent $44.9bn buying the rights to use a chunk of the American government's airwaves for wireless broadband networks.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jan 2015
Columns of coins in the cloud

YOU COMPLETE ME: Google and VMware in cloudy embrace

Google and VMware have forged a cloudy alliance that will see several of the former's services made available through the latter's vCloud Air service.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jan 2015
Cyanogen

Microsoft to invest in Android firmware upstart Cyanogen

Microsoft will invest in alternative Android firmware startup Cyanogen, a new report claims.
Neil McAllister, 29 Jan 2015
Facebook Place Tips

Kill Facebook's creepy on-by-default Yelp 'killer' Place Tips – your guide

Facebook is rolling out Place Tips for its iOS app that tracks users' whereabouts and inserts information about nearby businesses and points of interest into their news feed.
Iain Thomson, 29 Jan 2015
Broadband Genie

FCC sexes up, er, sextuples 'broadband' speed to 25Mbps in US

US internet tweaker FCC this morning redefined the meaning of "broadband" internet to mean at least 25Mbps down and 3Mbps up – from the previous 4Mbps/1Mbps definition.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Jan 2015

What do China, FBI and UK have in common? All three want backdoors in Western technology

The Chinese government wants backdoors added to all technology imported into the Middle Kingdom as well as all its source code handed over.
John Leyden, 29 Jan 2015
German shepherd guard dog standing in flood water

'LOOK into my EYES: You are feeling very worried about the climate ... SO worried'

Comment A trick-cyclist who promised several years ago to use a new form of mass hypnosis to get the public motivated to fight climate change claims that he's done it. In fact the claim is bogus: it is itself part of his attempt to carry out his plan of manipulating public opinion.
Lewis Page, 29 Jan 2015
Xbox 360 Wireless Controller
5

NXP flings sueball at Marvell over Xbox NFC chips

NXP Semiconductors, the chipmaker which was once part of Philips, has filed a patent infringement lawsuit against Marvell Electronics, alleging that its patented wireless technology has been used in the Microsoft Xbox.
Simon Rockman, 29 Jan 2015
3

EMC reports mixed results, fingers axe: 'Reduction in force' planned

+Comment Storage giant EMC has announced its plans to lay off an unspecified number of staffers in Q1 and said in an SEC filing that it would record restructuring charges in the range of $130m to $150m.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jan 2015
One Windows: Windows 10 will be delivered on multiple device types

Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

Review Microsoft does not have long to fix Windows 10. The company plans to release it this year, and if that implies hardware on the shelves, the operating system will need to be completed in the summer – and most features will need to be near-finalised well before that. Can Microsoft gets its new Windows ready in time?
Tim Anderson, 29 Jan 2015

Microsoft Outlook comes to iOS, Android: MS email now a bit less painful on mobile

Microsoft has released new Outlook apps for iOS and Android.
Tim Anderson, 29 Jan 2015

Snowden reveals LEVITATION technique of Canada’s spies

Canada's very own intel agency has a program designed to track millions of downloads, according to the latest revelations from the Edward Snowden document leaks.
John Leyden, 29 Jan 2015

Cloud storage upstart boasts of swollen biz, hires the CFO who sold Archivas

Comment Cloud storage gateway startup Nasuni reports that it experienced 300 per cent growth in 2014* and has just recruited a CFO who helped sell the founder's previous company – Archivas – to HDS for $127m in 2007.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jan 2015
Withings Activité Pop watch and fitness tracker

Strap on fitness finesse: Withings Activité Pop

Review One problem with wearable fitness trackers: you may not want to wear one when you’ve also got a watch on. This may be especially the case if, like me, you have a tracker not to monitor an aggressive fitness regime, but simply to ensure you don’t spend the entire working day parked on your arse. And you’d like it to be discreet.
Tony Smith, 29 Jan 2015
Android icon desktop toys

BITE that APPLE if you want to escape the Android garden, Microsoft

Analysis Microsoft has made Office on Android available on tablets at the exact moment its fortunes with Apple and Samsung are in flux. If Redmond's going to win, it needs to bet on Apple.
Gavin Clarke, 29 Jan 2015
Stormy Dover. Pic: Phil Houghton
5

CommVault CEO: Quick, throw me some more sales reps

Data protection and archiving vendor CommVault is in a profits hole and management hasn't been able to stop digging yet.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jan 2015
Checking comms at supersonic speeds

Supersonic Bloodhound car techies in screaming 650mph comms test

Engineers from the Bloodhound supersonic car world record attempt have been testing their radio comms gear as plans to stream the 1,000mph (1,610kmph) event live come together.
Simon Rockman, 29 Jan 2015
padlock

IBM punts cryptotastic cloudy ID verification services

IBM is marketing cloud-based technology to help consumers better protect their personal data online.
John Leyden, 29 Jan 2015
axe_channel_teaser
4

Citrix: Hmmm, profit down 30%? Right. 900 HEADS WILL ROLL

Hundreds of workers at Citrix Systems are to be shown the door to counter nose-diving profit and boost the R&D pot.
2

Shouty investor Elliott looms over software veteran Informatica

+Comment Elliott Management, the activist investor with its hooks into EMC, appears to have settled on Informatica as its next likely target for shareholder gains glory.
Chris Mellor, 29 Jan 2015
Barack Obama in the Oval Office

Revenues dip at CGI Group: It was Obamacare that did it

Revenue at Canadian outsourcer CGI Group dipped by four per cent in the first quarter of 2015 to $2.5bn (£1.7bn), compared with the same period in 2014.
Kat Hall, 29 Jan 2015
Close-up of a YouTube logo as viewed on a computer screen in close up...

'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Analysis It's not often a $450bn multinational is humbled by a single classical musician with a tape recorder. Yet that seems to be what happened this weekend.
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jan 2015

Powering the Internet of Stuff – by sucking electricity from TREES

Feature Despite regular headlines about self-powered gadgets and a deluge of stories claiming that any day now we should expect our smart phones to start gathering power from the environment around us, the promise of harvested energy always seems just out of reach. Or is it?
Bill Ray, 29 Jan 2015
Angry old man

Your gran and her cronies are 'embracing online banking' – study

Online banking has seen a boom among the older generation, with nearly 2.3 million aged between 70 and over 100 years old now using internet banking, according to figures compiled by the British Bankers’ Association (BBA).
OUT-LAW.COM, 29 Jan 2015

SamSUNK! Korean giant's electronics biz takes punch to the smartphone profits

Samsung's mobile phone businesses took a nasty tumble in 2014's fourth quarter, with profits at the company's electronics division falling by 27 per cent to 5.35 trillion won ($4.9bn).
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jan 2015
iPad Psycho image

Top smut site Flashes visitors, leaves behind nasty virus

A massive malvertising campaign leveraging the recent Adobe Flash zero day vulnerability has surfaced on popular* adult site xHamster, analysts say.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jan 2015
Comcast bill for Asshole Brown

How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

A Washington woman in the US has revealed how Comcast made her husband the butt of a joke – by changing his name to "Asshole" on their account.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jan 2015
Boot Chess screen shot

ZX81 BEATEN at last as dev claims smallest Chess code crown

Developer Olivier Poudade claims he's beaten a 33 year-old record for the smallest working Chess program.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jan 2015

Does Big Tech hire white boys ahead of more skilled black people and/or women?

Worstall on Weds (on Thurs) I've been watching with some amusement a little story about Pinterest noting that it's got a user base that leans heavily female. It's doing the rounds as the company thinks, well, it would be nice to be stuffing men full of ads as well (when it actually starts slinging ads) so, umm, why don't we go out and try and find some male customers?
Tim Worstall, 29 Jan 2015
eyeofSauron
4

Telstra: we don't collect the metadata the government wants now

Yet again, the coaching that spooks and bureaucrats have given Australia's Attorney-General George Brandis has proven to be at odds with the realities of the telecommunications industry.
Denmark Minecraft map vandalised

Windows 10 heralds the MINECRAFT-isation of Microsoft

Until last week, Microsoft’s $2.5 billion purchase of Mojang AB made no sense to me. Undeniably popular in the current generation of kids, at some point, Mojang’s Minecraft will fade, like every other fad before it. Mojang doesn’t even have a follow-up to its breakthrough first title. Back in 2013, Minecraft creator Marcus ‘Notch’ Perrson shelved 0x10C, a space game set in the distant future, leaving Mojang looking like a one hit-wonder.
Mark Pesce, 29 Jan 2015
Charles Townes

Charles Townes, inventor of the laser and friend to both science and religion, dies

Obituary Charles Hard Townes, one of the winners of the 1964 Nobel Prize in Physics for developing the laser and a pivotal player in astronomy and reconciling science and religion, has died at the age of 99 after a brief illness.
Iain Thomson, 29 Jan 2015
2

Mozilla dusts off old servers, lights up Tor relays

Mozilla has given the Tor network a capacity kick with the launch of 14 relays that will help distribute user traffic.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jan 2015
Clouds in blue sky

Big Switch pitches third fabric iteration in six months

Big Switch Networks is sticking to its start-up sprint, announcing the third iteration of its virtual networking environment since it initial release in July 2014.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella
1

Microsoft's Ignite gabfest includes just ONE session about Windows Server

Microsoft has just released the session catalog for its May Ignite event, the new gabfest that mashes TechEd and several other product-specific enterprise software conferences into one. And at this stage it looks like Windows Server will hardly make the agenda.
Simon Sharwood, 29 Jan 2015
Handshake

Trans-Pacific trade treaty close to signoff says USA

The US Trade Representative Michael Froman has tried to reassure the country's lawmakers that the interminable negotiations over the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) will conclude during 2015.
4

Cisco says GHOST is more Casper than Sleepy Hollow

Cisco has put forward at least a partial response to 2015's first branded bug, GHOST, saying that in The Borg's world, the glibc vulnerability is probably of relatively low severity.
3

Researcher says Aussie spooks help code Five Eyes mega malware

The Australian Signals Directorate (ASD) has refused to comment on allegations it had a hand in the creation of a keylogging module used by global spookhauses and considered almost identical to parts of the complex Regin malware.
Darren Pauli, 29 Jan 2015
Slow downloads

FCC will vote to cut off 41 million broadband users this Thursday*

US internet tinkerer the FCC will likely vote tomorrow to change its definition of "broadband" connections from 4Mbps to 25Mbps – effectively moving 13 per cent of the American population outside the envelope of "fast" internet access.
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Jan 2015
Clouds in blue sky
4

Who's afraid of a virtual switch? Not big bad Brocade

The burgeoning market for bare-metal Ethernet switches isn't bothering Brocade, according to A/NZ senior director Gary Denman.
5

Facebook's mobile ad bonanza brought it record returns in 2014

Facebook finished the best quarter and the best year of its history on December 31, with its latest earnings report showing record annual revenues of $12.47bn for its fiscal 2014, up 58 per cent from 2013's haul.
Neil McAllister, 29 Jan 2015
First Charlie Hebdo cover after attack. copyright: charlie hebdo

Facebook kills pic of Mohammed weeks after Zuck's Je suis Charlie!

Earlier this month, in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo massacre, Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg proclaimed that his social network, used by millions, was a free-speech zone.
Iain Thomson, 29 Jan 2015
Amazon Web Services
7

Amazon's new WorkMail for enterprise: Another Fire dud – or a Kindle?

Amazon Web Services is touting a cloud-hosted email system to the world of big business.
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jan 2015
Qualcomm
5

Qualcomm Snapdragon 810 CPU dumped from flagship smartphone

Qualcomm reported record revenues for the first quarter of its fiscal 2015 on Wednesday, but the mobile chipmaker warned investors that it's still struggling to make headway in the all-important China market.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jan 2015
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence
1

Turnbull's Digital Transformation Office has NO PLAN, but awesome power

Malcolm Turnbull's new Digital Transformation Office (DTO), launched last week with a goal of reinventing government service delivery but lacking any new money with which to make the attempt, also has no plan for its efforts.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jan 2015

Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

Microsoft moneybags Bill Gates feels stupid that he doesn't know any foreign languages – and wishes he had the time to learn French because he thinks it is the easiest to pick up.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Jan 2015
Crying girl being comforted by a woman

IBM jobs axe: 'The cuts have STARTED and are spreading' sigh staff

Word has it that IBM's latest big staff purge is now underway, with former Big Blue workers reporting that they have been handed pink slips along with kits describing their severance packages.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jan 2015
Angry woman on mobile

Listen up, AT&T, this could be YOU NEXT: $40m sting for throttling 'unlimited' mobile data

The FTC has reached a settlement with TracFone in what could be the first of many refunds for screwed-over customers with so-called unlimited data plans.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jan 2015
FCC logo

Let's be clear, everyone: DON'T BLOCK Wi-Fi, DUH – FCC official ruling

US watchdog the FCC has ruled that no one – not even hotels and other commercial outfits – can block or ban personal Wi-Fi hotspots.
Iain Thomson, 28 Jan 2015
Docker cofounder and CTO Solomon Hykes

Docker unveils new top team to look after enlarged container biz

The Docker project has been re-organised following last year’s rapid success, with the names of folk filling the positions of chief architect, chief maintainer and chief operator being announced on Wednesday.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Jan 2015
Gold Plate My BlackBerry Passport
6

Friends, Canadians, countrymen: Would you buy a GOLD PLATED BlackBerry Passport?

Review A couple of weeks ago, BlackBerry released a limited edition series of Passport phones plated with 24 karat gold. Priced at $999, the run was limited to just 50, each one numbered. To which you well ask, "Why?"
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Jan 2015

The new Falcon Heavy: MOST POWERFUL ROCKET since the Apollo moonshots

SpaceX has released a video animation of its Falcon Heavy, the mega-rocket of "scale and capability unequalled by any other currently flying".
Kat Hall, 28 Jan 2015
Bloody Serial Killer Shower Curtain
2

Juniper in the red as product biz bleeds sales in 'challenging' Q4

Troubled tech plumber Juniper Networks ended 2014 on a low as it swung into loss, and reported declining product sales, with the security portfolio looking particularly unloved by customers.
Paul Kunert, 28 Jan 2015
Windows OEM devices on stage at Computex

Speaking in Tech: FREE Win 10 upgrade 'NOT really a big deal'

Podcast Podcast It's El Reg's best and only tech podacast, hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week the crew tackles Big Blue, "free" Windows from Microsoft and police chasing Waze. Special guest Scott Hanson from Cisco is in teh hotseat.
Team Register, 28 Jan 2015
Planet of the Apes
6

Veritas is home. Symantec’s storage split-off adopts old name

Bisecting Symantec has decided after much deliberation the Veritas brand - the one it torched years ago - will be the monicker for the Information Management business when it splits from the mothership.
Chris Mellor, 28 Jan 2015

A year with Canada's Volvo-esque smartphone – The BlackBerry Z30

Comment Why return to the Blackberry Z30, a phone that's over a year old?
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Jan 2015
Toshiba Encore Windows 8.1 tablet

Windows tablet price war FINALLY has 'em prying open wallets

Microsoft is, er, fighting back in the UK tab tussle stakes after grabbing market share from OS rivals, although the small victory could be seen as a bit hollow.
Paul Kunert, 28 Jan 2015
Meme of a dog "typing" at a computer, with the large font phrase "I have no idea what I'm doing' above him.

GoDaddy in doghouse over puppy-flogging Super Bowl ad

Domain registrar, web hosting company and now seemingly heartless facilitator of dog trading GoDaddy has pulled a Super Bowl ad depicting the sale of a puppy online, following a string of complaints that it might lead to mass dog farming.
Kat Hall, 28 Jan 2015

Scouts take down database due to 'security vulnerabilities'

The Scouts Association has taken down its Compass database, which holds the records of nearly half-a-million young people and adult volunteers, after discovering a "potential security vulnerability," The Register can reveal.
Kat Hall, 28 Jan 2015
2

Spinning rust into gold: WD profit grows ... though sales dip

+Comment Western Digital sold 61 million drives in its latest quarter, 2.1 million less than a year ago, but made $30m more profit, and it out-shipped and out-earned rival Seagate – CEO Steve Milligan's men must have ear-to-ear grins on their faces.
Chris Mellor, 28 Jan 2015

I ain't afraid of no GHOST – securo-bods

The latest high-profile security vulnerability affecting Linux systems is serious but nowhere near as bad as the infamous Heartbleed flaw, according to security experts.
John Leyden, 28 Jan 2015
Leonidas, king of Sparta, as portrayed by Gerard Butler in the film 300. Pic copyright: Warner Bros

Spartan on Windows 7? Microsoft is 'watching demand'

Details of Microsoft’s fledgling Windows 10 Spartan browser are emerging with a suggestion of possible support for Windows 7.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Jan 2015
Google slurs gay people in translation fail. Pic credit: All Out

Google Translate MEAT GRINDER turns gay into 'faggot', 'poof', 'queen'

Google has apologised after its language-scraping service offered up offensive alternatives including "poof" and "faggot" as replacements for the word gay.
Kelly Fiveash, 28 Jan 2015
Mississippi River Lock and Dam number 7 with the I-90 Mississippi River bridge downstream. Image: Public Domain
2

Cluster-grappling kids clash: Battle of the Big Iron in the Big Easy

HPC Blog Two hundred years after the first Battle of New Orleans*, we saw the third, and perhaps most important, tussle the city has ever seen. I am, of course, referring to the SC14 Student Cluster Competition (here's a quick guide on how the youngsters' HPC battles work).
US army land warrior
7

NexGen polishes guns, prepares to face hybrid array legions

Analysis Hybrid array startup NexGen is starting out afresh having been spun out of SanDisk, and now faces the full competitive force of hybrid competition from both mainstream array vendors and the up-and-coming trio of Nimble, Tegile and Tintri. What are its chances?
Chris Mellor, 28 Jan 2015

Hungry UK IT biz, VC firm to swallow former Ericsson arm Damovo – sources

Privately owned Daisy Group is very close to making the British arm of comms integrator Damovo its 47th conquest, sources are telling us.
Paul Kunert, 28 Jan 2015
Mare_Byrd_land Antarctica
2

X-IO fights global hybrid warming, keeps ISE age going

X-IO has overhauled its hybrid ISE array line with third generation technology and given it a top-end ISE 780 model with boosted performance.
Chris Mellor, 28 Jan 2015

Five years of Sun software under Oracle: Were the critics right?

Oracle-Sun anniversary Back in 2010, critics worried that Sun Microsystems' software portfolio would wither on the vine once Oracle got its hands on it. Five years on and the worst fears have proven baseless, yet former Sun diehards have had plenty to be disappointed about since Larry Ellison & Co gobbled the former server heavyweight.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jan 2015
Crop of doctor with pen and clipboard

Care.data refuseniks will be DENIED CANCER SCREENING invites

Exclusive Hundreds of thousands of NHS patients who opted out of having their details shared with private companies under the controversial Care.data scheme would not be invited to a number of cancer-related screenings – a terrible effect of the gaffe-ridden scheme.
Kat Hall, 28 Jan 2015

Win Sun, lose Sun: How Larry's bet on old-world systems hurt Oracle

Oracle-Sun anniversary Feeling calm and relaxed? Join the Reg on a journey to an alternate reality where Oracle’s cloud business is the envy of all of its competitors. It holds two trillion objects and is growing faster now than at any time in its history.
Gavin Clarke, 28 Jan 2015
The COSIMA instrument aboard Rosetta

I'll get my coat – there's a dusty one flying off Comet 67P

Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko is shedding four years worth of accumulated dust as it hurtles towards the Sun, say scientists after studying the output of the Rosetta spacecraft's COmetary Secondary Ion Mass Analyser, aka COSIMA.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jan 2015

Regin super-malware has Five Eyes fingerprints all over it says Kaspersky

The Regin malware, often described as the devil spawn of Stuxnet and Duqu, is the handiwork of the Five Eyes nation state spy apparatus, analysis reveals.
Darren Pauli, 28 Jan 2015
8

Sleepy Ofcom glances at Internet of Things, rolls over, takes nap

UK regulator Ofcom has published a report [PDF] into the so-called internet of things (IoT) in which it promises to do something at some point in the future.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Jan 2015

EE squashes Orange UK: France Telecom's been 'destroying it for years'

With BT now expected to complete the deal to buy EE, it has been reported that EE will kill off the T-Mobile and Orange brands in the UK. The mix of brands from BT, EE, T-Mobile and Orange is all a bit confusing.
Simon Rockman, 28 Jan 2015

YouTube flushes Flash for future flicks

YouTube has decided it's had enough of Adobe's perenially-p0wned Flash and will therefore now default to delivering video with the HTML5 <video> tag.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jan 2015

Fanbois to gamebois: Apple paperwork reveals iOS FUNPAD

Apple has been granted a patent in the US on a gaming controller pad for iOS-powered things.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jan 2015
hitahi t7k500 hard disk drive

Boffin finds formula for four-year-five-nines disk arrays

Forty-five disk drives, ten parity drives, and 33 spare disks: that's the optimum array size to protect data for four years with no service visits, according to a study published at Arxiv.

US looks at plan to hand over world's DNS – and screams blue murder

The US government official in charge of the critical Internet Assigned Numbers Authority (IANA) contract wants a course change in how the globe's core DNS systems will be moved out of Uncle Sam's hands.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Jan 2015
3

Oz spooks hack, try to fry Middle East servers – report

Oz spies have reached across the Indian Ocean and meddled with the cooling controls of an unnamed Middle Eastern nation's servers hostile to Australia, according to reports.
Darren Pauli, 28 Jan 2015
big droplets falling from rain cloud

VMware cracks US$6bn for the year, says SaaS will slow growth

VMware today used its Q4 2014 earnings call to warn its revenue growth will slow because it's doing so well in the cloud.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jan 2015
George Brandis
8

Australian spookhaus ASIO could retain private data FOREVER

The Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security (IGIS) has told the government it's forgotten to set down how long ASIO is allowed to keep metadata handed over by telecommunications companies.
Apple Watch

Horrifying iPhone sales bring Apple $18bn profit A QUARTER

Apple chief exec Tim Cook has said his company's smartwatch won't go on sale until April – not that he's too fussed about the delay, given Apple has banked $18 BILLION in profit since October.
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jan 2015
NASA animation of BL86 plus moon

Passing asteroid MOONS the HUMAN RACE

Space-watchers peering at the fly-by asteroid 2004 BL86 will have missed a detail that NASA caught: the flying mountain has its own moon.
Rings around distant planet

Excitement in boffinry circles as GIGANTIC ALIEN RING BLOTS OUT SUN

Pics The first planetary ring system outside of our Solar System has been spotted and it's massive – in fact, it's 120 million kilometers in diameter.
Iain Thomson, 28 Jan 2015
White House drone

'Boozed up' US drone spook CRASHED UFO into US White House

A drone crashed into the US White House because the government staffer flying the thing had hit the bottle, according to the New York Times.
Yahoo!'s Q4 2014 earnings conference call
9

Yahoo's! Mayer!: We'll! spin! off! $40bn! Alibaba! stake! and! pay! ZERO! tax! on! it! Ha!

Yahoo! has announced plans to sell off all of its remaining stake in Chinese online giant Alibaba, even as its latest earnings report shows a company struggling to pull in revenue on its own.
Neil McAllister, 28 Jan 2015
Google Fiber
8

Google reveals where AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner Cable will next offer Gbps broadband

Google has named the next four areas in the US to get its gigabit-a-second fiber broadband.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Jan 2015

'Super-secure' BlackPhone pwned by super-silly txt msg bug

Exclusive The maker of BlackPhone – a mobile marketed as offering unusually high levels of security – has patched a critical vulnerability that allows hackers to run malicious code on the handsets.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jan 2015

Government's rushed NBN migration plan off to the ACCC

Industry objections notwithstanding, the federal government has okayed Telstra submitting its revised NBN migration plan to the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC).

FUMBLE! NFL app drops privacy ball just before Super Bowl Sunday

With Superbowl Sunday approaching, interest in the ritualized combat that is American football is peaking for the year – but fans of the action may be letting hackers slurp their personal details.
Iain Thomson, 27 Jan 2015
GHOST vulnerability

BOO! Grave remote-code exec flaw in GNU C Library TERRIFIES Linux

Security researchers have uncovered a critical bug in the GNU C Library (glibc), a key component of Linux and some other operating systems, which could render countless machines vulnerable to remote code execution attacks.
Neil McAllister, 27 Jan 2015
Freescale Internet of Things overview

FTC to Internet of Stuff: Security, motherf****r, do you speak it?

US regulator the FTC says now is not the time for new laws on the "Internet of Things" – but security needs to be improved as we enter the era of always-on, always-connected gadgets, sensors and machines embedded in homes, streets and pockets.
Kieren McCarthy, 27 Jan 2015

Another day, yet another emergency Adobe Flash patch. Because that's how we live now

The new year hasn't been a pleasant one for Adobe: the Silicon Valley firm has scrambled to close yet more serious security holes in its Flash player.
Iain Thomson, 27 Jan 2015

Wall St wolves tear chunk off Microsoft: There goes $30bn!

The morning after Microsoft published its second quarter figures, its share price tumbled 10 per cent as markets opened in New York – wiping $30bn off its value.
Gavin Clarke, 27 Jan 2015
7

Twitter ATTENTION SEEKERS can now blab to each other IN PRIVATE

Twitter is set to become even more annoying.
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Jan 2015
No Sale
6

PwC: Forget margin, tech biz, HUSTLE for that SALE

The phrase "turnover is vanity, profit is sanity" apparently does not apply to the tech sector, with PwC advising companies this year to focus on revenue growth above margins and "yield maximum shareholder value".
Kat Hall, 27 Jan 2015
Amtrak Acela train

NetApp embiggens E-Series flashbox: Gee, a benchmark... thanks

NetApp has doubled the speed and capacity of its all-flash E-Series arrays, and won an SPC-1 benchmark record in the process.
Chris Mellor, 27 Jan 2015

Anonymous: Snap on that Guy Fawkes mask, we're marching against child sex abuse

Hacktivist group Anonymous is calling for a day of protest against paedophiles who take advantage of their wealth and power to abuse children.
John Leyden, 27 Jan 2015
Allows signals to reack those difficult places
9

Post-modem Ericsson wobbles thanks to flat sales and falling profits

Ericsson's flat sales last year were the result of its disappointing fourth quarter, especially in America, its latest financial results show.
Simon Rockman, 27 Jan 2015
Key in a wooden door. PIC by Tawheed Mazoor - licensed under CC 2.0
1

Meat puppet security sucks... let machines find your flaws

Commercial organisations have cash to burn on stopping hackers getting into the network, but relatively little to spend on dealing with a breach.
Paul Kunert, 27 Jan 2015

HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

HMRC's eye-wateringly expensive £10.4bn IT deal – "the largest technology contract in government" – could be too risky to change as the department has failed to plan for a new contract model, MPs have warned.
Kat Hall, 27 Jan 2015
Shaun of the dead zombies cricket bat movie still. Copyright Universal Pictures

Switch it off and on again: How peers failed to sneak Snoopers' Charter into terror bill

Analysis Bungling peers failed to thrust Theresa May's widely discredited Snoopers' Charter into the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill on Monday – but they did an excellent job of highlighting their ignorance about technology.
Kelly Fiveash, 27 Jan 2015
Nokia Lumia 830 group

What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

Microsoft shipped a record number of Lumia smartphones in the final quarter of calendar year 2014, as Surface revenue finally started to make an impression.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Jan 2015

Keylogger: Somebody STOP ME! Oh hang on, I just did

Developers of a range of commercial keyloggers have switched sides and begun marketing anti-keylogging technology.
John Leyden, 27 Jan 2015
LIZARD WEARING A TOP HAT SITS ON A BRANCH.  Brett Weinstein pic - ALTERED BY JUDE KARABUS - licensed under  CC 3.0

Facebook: Oi, Lizard Squad – we can take down our own site, ta

A technical cockup – rather than hostile hacker action – is apparently the reason Facebook, Instagram and other Web 2.0 sweethearts fell off the internet on Monday.
John Leyden, 27 Jan 2015

Cash'n'Carrion January sale: Get in there while you can

If you fancy enjoying 20 per cent off everything down at El Reg's merchandising tentacle, Cash'n'Carrion, you'd better get in there sharpish, because our January sale ends on Saturday.
Team Register, 27 Jan 2015

Opera Jon weaves a brand new browser

The man behind the Opera browser has created a new one, he says, because power users are poorly served. The new Vivaldi browser launched today in a "Technical Preview" form, with customisation and speed taking it in a different direction to the mainstream, where minimalism rules the day.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Jan 2015
3

Want to win Microsoft's cloudy love? Just spend $500

Channel partners that want to cosy up to Microsoft at this year’s Worldwide Partner Conference have got the option to be an extra special pet – cough $500 and they could be within spitting distance of the event… literally.
Paul Kunert, 27 Jan 2015
Larry Ellison on stage at the launch of Oracle's X5 engineered systems range

The firm that swallowed the Sun: Is Oracle happy as Larry with hardware and systems?

Oracle-Sun anniversary One Sun swallow doesn’t make a hardware summer, and while it certainly hasn’t for Oracle, it is far from being in a hardware winter for the firm.
Chris Mellor, 27 Jan 2015

Snoopers' Charter amendments withdrawn – FOR NOW ...

The House of Lords rejected controversial last-minute amendments to the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill in a debate on Monday.
John Leyden, 27 Jan 2015
ip.wireless picocell

Euro mobile standards chiefs eye tiny beauty: It's the KEY to 5G

The European Telecommunications Standards Institute (ETSI), which sets the standards for mobile comms, has just started work on five specifications for millimetre Wave Transmission – the 30GHz to 300GHz range.
Simon Rockman, 27 Jan 2015
4

There's life after Oracle, but very little left in Oracle's reseller channel

Oracle-Sun anniversary A headstone in Santa Clara carries the names of the fallen in Sun Microsystems’ once illustrious reseller channel – it is five years this week since grim reaper Oracle bought the server giant.
Paul Kunert, 27 Jan 2015

Apple patch shields Macs from Thunderstrike

Apple will mute the Thunderstrike attack in an upcoming OS X patch, according to a report.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jan 2015

Jellybean upgrade too hard for Choc Factory, but not for YOU

Google says it won't patch Android Jellybean because it's too hard.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jan 2015
Privacy image

INTERNET of STUFF: Google to replace old Dropcams for $0.00

Dropcam, the home video camera company acquired by Google's Internet of Things limb Nest, is giving away new cameras to owners of its old cameras.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jan 2015

Humanity can defeat SkyNet with BOOKS, says IT think tank

A group of researchers working for National ICT Australia reckons computer science courses need to look at artificial intelligence from an ethical point of view – and the popularity of sci-fi among comp.sci students makes that a good place to start.
 photo by kudomomo http://www.flickr.com/photos/kudumomo/

Facebook, Instagram, Tinder TITSUP*: HOW did anyone even find out?

Updated It appears Facebook and its snap-slinging subsidiary Instagram have fallen off the web. Hook-up-finder Tinder is also reportedly having problems.
Chris Williams, 27 Jan 2015
Silicon micro-ring resonator

Photons link arms on chip to hasten march of quantum crypto

A multinational collaboration of boffins reckons it's come up with a chippable solution to one of the practical problems of quantum communications: getting a good source of entangled photons.

P0wning for the fjords: Malware turns drones into DEAD PARROT

Hacker Rahul Sasi has found and exploited a backdoor in Parrot AR Drones that allows the flying machines to be remotely hijacked.
Darren Pauli, 27 Jan 2015
management management4
3

HP reveals which execs have a chair once the splitting music stops

HP has revealed who'll be sitting where once the splitting song stops and the company has broken into HP Inc. and HP Enterprise.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jan 2015
Evil Android

Some Androids can be HOSED by WiFi Direct vuln

Google, which has been criticised by Microsoft for recent bug disclosures, is now downplaying a bug of its own.
SKA artists impression

IBM details PowerPC microserver aimed at square kilometre array

IBM has revealed more about a PowerPC microserver it says will help to crunch data gathered by the square kilometre array (SKA), the colossal radio telescope to be built across South Africa and Australia.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jan 2015
Puzzlecluster concept

Linux chaps want to recycle your mobe as a supercomputer

A Finnish group of phone developers, hoping to get the world interested in modular smartphones, has proposed a nifty idea for re-using their phone motherboards: turn them into clusters.
White House drone

Secret Service on alert after drone CRASHES into White House

The US Secret Service is investigating how a drone came to crash into the White House in the early hours of Monday morning.
Iain Thomson, 27 Jan 2015
Welcome to Amazon Workspaces
5

VDI is heading for a minor DAAS-aster

Desktop-as-a-service (DaaS) services are getting good enough, fast enough, that organisations need to consider them as an alternative to desktop virtualisation (VDI).
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jan 2015

Wikileaks: We DO NOT approve of OUR secret stuff being LEAKED

WikiLeaks is demanding answers from Google after learning that the company handed user information to the FBI and didn't acknowledge the incident for more than two years.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Jan 2015
Microsoft campus

Microsoft brings SUNSHINE – but it's a CLOUDY DAY

Microsoft posted another quarter of respectable results on Monday, matching analysts' earnings estimates and slightly outperforming on revenue, but its strong showing couldn't disguise the continued shakiness in its core software business.
Neil McAllister, 26 Jan 2015
Google Fiber

Charlotte, NC thinks it has won the Google Fiber lottery

Officials in Charlotte, North Carolina believe they will be the next to enjoy Google Fiber.
Shaun Nichols, 26 Jan 2015
ISS against a spring moon

NASA greenlights SpaceX and Boeing to carry crew to ISS in 2017

Crew and cargo resupply missions will be launched from US soil by 2017, with SpaceX and Boeing both sending rival systems into low Earth orbit from now on.
Iain Thomson, 26 Jan 2015
2

Watchdogs critical of Oz data retention regime

Ahead of parliamentary hearings this week into the Australian government's proposed data retention regime, privacy watchdogs have lined up to criticise the legislation.
ISS against a spring moon
2

NASA greenlights SpaceX and Boeing to carry crew to ISS in 2017

Crew and cargo resupply missions will be launched from US soil by 2017, with SpaceX and Boeing both sending rival systems into low Earth orbit from now on.
Iain Thomson, 26 Jan 2015

ICANN CEO criticizes domain 'hoggers'

ICANN's CEO has infuriated domain investors by dismissing them as domain "hoggers" in an interview at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Jan 2015
Great Wall of China

Great Firewall of China blasts DDoS attacks at random IP addresses

An upgrade to China's Great Firewall is having knock-on effects all over the internet, with seemingly random sites experiencing massive traffic spikes.
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Jan 2015

Nexus 6 would have had a fingerprint reader, but Apple RUINED IT ALL

The former CEO of Motorola Mobility says the company's Nexus 6 phablet would have been a nicer piece of kit, were it not for Apple's inteference.
Shaun Nichols, 26 Jan 2015
Sheriff Woody

NSA gunning for Google, wants cop-spotting dropped from Waze app

The US National Sheriffs' Association wants Google to block its crowd-sourced traffic app Waze from being able to report the position of police officers, saying the information is putting officer's lives at risk.
Iain Thomson, 26 Jan 2015
Keyboard where return key is marked communication and to its left is a key with the Cuban flag. Copyright: xtock, Photo via Shutterstock

Cubans defy government's home internet ban with secret home-made network

Cubans are fighting back against restrictions on their use of internet with SNet, a secret network. Also known as StreetNet, it pools the resources of citizens, who are effectively prohibited from using the internet.
Simon Rockman, 26 Jan 2015
2

Seagate belches, chomps down another greenback burger

Seagate’s second quarter revenues for 2015 rose 4.8 per cent over the year to $3.7bn while profits more than doubled to $933m, up from $428m a year ago.
Chris Mellor, 26 Jan 2015
A Wren reenactor at Bletchley

Brits need chutzpah to copy Israeli cyberspies' tech creche – ex-spooks

Feature Israel's intelligence agency, Unit 8200, has been a production line for hi-tech startups since the 1980s, a success British politicians are now seeking to emulate. Yet replicating that success in Blighty may be difficult because of cultural and environmental differences that may prove difficult to overcome.
John Leyden, 26 Jan 2015

IBM to cut '118k jobs worldwide' – report claims

Updated IBM is reportedly planning to jettison 118,000 workers to counter 11 quarters of declining sales and the impact of shifting industry demand – which, if true, would make it one of the biggest corporate culls on record.
Paul Kunert, 26 Jan 2015

Analyse THIS: Facebook alumni upstart Interana inhales MORE cash

+Comment Why the hurry? Interana, an analytics startup co-founded by ex-Facebook engineers just got a 250 per cent rise in funding, $20m, less than four months after its initial $8.2m A-round.
Chris Mellor, 26 Jan 2015
7

Symantec sources claim exec teams in place by April Fools' Day

Symantec execs will line up under the classic security or information management divisions from April Fools’ Day – no, seriously – amid talk that senior management may revive the Veritas storage brand.
Paul Kunert, 26 Jan 2015
Parliament in the clouds
3

Ex-G-Cloud bigwig Chant weighs in on GDS' framework rebrand

Former G-Cloud head Chris Chant has entered the growing row over the status of the framework under the UK's Government Digital Service (GDS), criticising its decision to ditch a brand "that has won hearts and minds".
Kat Hall, 26 Jan 2015
Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch) and the Bombe machine

A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Stob Some weeks ago, on the back of superlative-laced recommendatory posts like this one, I took myself off to the Fosse des Puces high art cinema to see The Imitation Game, the new biopic about Alan "Weird Al" Turing starring Benedict Cumberbatch.
Verity Stob, 26 Jan 2015
image from shutterstock_148618127

Brightstar deal means Post Office mobile network could be a thing

The Post Office is ramping up its plans to become a virtual mobile phone network, with hardware distributor Brightstar being appointed to handle logistics for SIMs and phones.
Simon Rockman, 26 Jan 2015
XtremIO front panel

EMC: Kerr-ching! $430m XtremIO gulp's paying off... Hello, $1bn a year

EMC president Chad Sakac says the XtremIO will be the fastest product in EMC’s history to reach a billion dollar run-rate. A new release is coming to keep the momentum up.
Chris Mellor, 26 Jan 2015
Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 9M-MRO

Lizard Squad threatens Malaysia Airlines with data dump: We DID TOO hack your site

Infamous hacktivists Lizard Squad are threatening to dump data they supposedly snatched during the process of defacing the website of Malaysia Airlines.
John Leyden, 26 Jan 2015
Gerard Butler in 300

Welcome to Spartan, Microsoft's persuasive argument for... Chrome

Two years after its last browser strategy policy change in Windows 8, Microsoft is shifting the pieces around the board again.
Gavin Clarke, 26 Jan 2015
5

Shareholders pen outraged letter about Ellison's bulging package

Oracle and its founder Larry Ellison are facing fresh calls from shareholders to change the company's high compensation structure for executives, and stop ignoring requests to communicate with directors.
Kat Hall, 26 Jan 2015
3

Right, we've bagged IBM’s X86 server biz... now what? – Lenovo

Now that Lenovo has IBM’s X86 server business, it’s able to freely participate in partnerships with storage suppliers. Does it view storage as a market into which it can expand?
Chris Mellor, 26 Jan 2015

Hoaxer posing as GCHQ boss prank-calls PM Cameron

A hoax caller claiming to be GCHQ's chief spy was put through to UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s phone on Sunday.
John Leyden, 26 Jan 2015
Wick Lane, Trunk Sewers, London

Dark Fibre: Reg man plunges into London's sewers to see how pipe is laid

Deep Dive We’ve all seen it and we’ve all cursed it. Whether you’re stuck in traffic or grimacing over the noise, digging up the roads to enhance or extend our communications pipelines is disruptive and causes frustrating transport delays. In oh so many ways, infrastructure in the UK is going down the toilet and for the likes of dark fibre outfit Zayo, this is all part of the plan.
Bob Dormon, 26 Jan 2015
CPUs in a FatTwin

Official: Whiteboxer Super Micro is a $2bn server company

+Comment Commodity server vendor Super Micro has reached a $2bn run rate with its latest quarter's results.
Chris Mellor, 26 Jan 2015
Google UK office logos

Should Google play carriers at their own game? There's never been a better time

Analysis In the week that Microsoft made its last, best bid for mobile relevance, Google was active all over the mobile ecosystem. It had recently announced an investment in satellite venture SpaceX, and was said to be stalking mobile payments outfit SoftCard, and even planning to launch direct mobile services via its own mobile virtual network operator (MVNO) deal.
Wireless Watch, 26 Jan 2015
Exploding Kitten Goal Cartoon

What gets the internet REALLY excited? Kittens? No. EXPLODING Kittens

Sysadmin Blog Let the internet run amok for long enough and you'll eventually find someone making millions with exploding kittens. Curious? Well look no further, because the internet has delivered!
Trevor Pott, 26 Jan 2015

BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Vid Swiss researchers, who developed a robot that can walk on its wings across tricky terrain, have flaunted their latest prototype which they hope could one day be used in search and rescue operations. Or something.
Team Register, 25 Jan 2015

'One day, YOU won't be able to SENSE the INTERNET,' vows Schmidt

Google exec chairman Eric Schmidt misled the world last week by claiming that – one day – the internet will vanish.
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Jan 2015
Bluetooth Control to reach the button

Oi, Aussie sports fans! Take that selfie stick and stick it

If you think selfie sticks are a sign of society's descent into a slough of narcissism, get thee to Australia where organisers of sporting events are making it known that telescoping terrors aren't entirely welcome.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Jan 2015
New Horizons spacecraft approaching Pluto

FROSTY MISTRESS of the Outer System: Pluto yields to probe snapper

NASA's New Horizons spaceship, which has been on its mission to Pluto for nine years now, is expected to start snapping photos of the icy planet today.
Team Register, 25 Jan 2015
Dead Nation

Game over? Sony FINALLY offers compensation to MEELLIONS of PSN hack victims

Millions of PSN gamers, who were hit by a massive data breach on Sony's Playstation network back in 2011, are finally being offered the opportunity to claim compensation from the company.
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Jan 2015
Woman looks immensely happy while staring into blank screen of unplugged monitor

'People ACTUALLY CONFUSE Facebook and the internet in some places'

QuotW Ex-Googler, Facebook COO and mouthpiece Sheryl Sandberg claimed this week that some users (sorry, people) actually think that Mark Zuckerberg's free-content ad network is the internet.
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Jan 2015
Ex_Machina_film

Ex Machina – a smart, suspenseful satire of our technology gods

Film review It’s not easy to say something new about artificial intelligence in the movies. It’s pretty much a toss-up between the they-could-be-people-too argument of sweet child robot David in A.I. or the sphincter-tightening terror of HAL and the Terminator. But with Ex Machina, we get a more complex picture of our android future packaged in a wickedly smart and funny film that sends up our technology gods at the same time.
1950s style illustration - Smiling woman talks into rotary phone

Landlines: The tech that just won't die

Feature For a huge number of Brits, mobiles have become our primary way of communicating, even when we're at home. When a call comes in, we know it's ours. We can reply with a text, or use apps like WhatsApp to communicate with friends abroad. Increasingly, we don't rely on our landline phones and, thanks to lax policing of the Telephone Preference Service (TPS), for many of us, about the only thing they're used for is receiving unsolicited junk calls, or as a safety net so we can call 999 in an emergency.
Nigel Whitfield, 25 Jan 2015

Thailand: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

The eXpat Files Last time we chatted to an expat in Thailand, our secretive subject stayed schtum about his identity because he was working illegally.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Jan 2015

Uber isn't limited by the taxi market: It's limited by the Electronic Thumb market

Worstall @ the Weekend We've had a look before at that valuation of Uber at $40k bar** and mulled over whether it makes any sense or not. And there's a little snippet of news out that shows that there might be more substance to it than most of us tend to think there is. It could, of course it could, still be just an absurdly over-hyped product of frenzied finance but if this number is true then maybe not.
Tim Worstall, 25 Jan 2015
Hand precision grip

SUPERHANDS! Fossils of early human ancestors reveal a GRIPPING development

Ancestors of humans who lived around three to two million years ago appear to have had the ability to use their hands in a very similar way to how we grip tools today, according to a new study from anthropologists.
Team Register, 24 Jan 2015
Daniel Craig in Casino Royale

Sly peers attempt to thrust hated Snoopers' Charter into counter-terror and security bill

Britain's ISPs have attacked sneaky, proposed amendments to the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill that were tabled by four peers in Parliament this week – as they mounted an attempt to resurrect the Snoopers' Charter.
Kelly Fiveash, 24 Jan 2015
Sag aloo mixed with our chickpea stew

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

As winter tightens its frosty grip across the land, and a chill wind bites hard to the quick, the moment has arrived to contemplate a hearty post-pub dish designed to fill bellies on a budget and warm the cockles of the heart.
Lester Haines, 24 Jan 2015
School run car

Chunky Swedish ice maiden: Volvo XC60 D4 Manual EE Lux Nav

Vulture at the Wheel Why did the nice man from Volvo find me peering at the dashboard with a torch when he came to collect the XC60 I was testing?
Simon Rockman, 24 Jan 2015
What Linus Torvalds thinks of NVIDIA

'Linus Torvalds is UNFIT for the WORKPLACE!' And you've given the world what, exactly?

CoTW Pirates on copyright, state surveillance and Linux – another joyous week of your comments below the line. Yup, it's Comment of the Week time.
Gareth Corfield, 24 Jan 2015
Charles Bronson and Lorraine Etherington, Broadmoor, My Journey Into Hell book cover
9

Broadmoor: My Journey Into Hell, The Chimes and Cowboys and Indies

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston peruses the pick of publishing this week with a début novel from Anna Smaill whose musicality abounds in the post-apocalyptic tale. Back in the real world, one man apocalypse Charles Bronson tells more tales of life inside, and finally Gareth Murphy tracks the history of the music industry.
Mark Diston, 24 Jan 2015

YOU. Your women are mine. Give them to me. I want to sell them

Something for the Weekend, Sir? A friend of mine had his wife stolen three times this week. The first two times, they gave her back within hours. On the third occasion, however, they seemed determined to hold on to her for a month.
Alistair Dabbs, 24 Jan 2015
4

Hibernating NetMundial rattles internet governance world at Davos

The controversial effort by ICANN and the World Economic Forum (WEF) to devise a new internet governance body may have gone into hibernation but it is still causing ructions.
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Jan 2015
X-wings extended on the Falcon 9 rocket

SpaceX makes nice with U.S. Air Force, gets shot at black ops launches

Private rocket firm SpaceX has settled its feud with the US Air Force over the rights to launch national security payloads.
Shaun Nichols, 24 Jan 2015
Artist's conception of a watery asteroid being torn apart white dwarf GD 61

ATTACK of the FLYING MOUNTAIN: 2004 BL86 goes by like a BULLET

NASA has warned skywatchers that a huge asteroid will pass over European and North American skies on Monday and that it will be the biggest space rock to do a fly-by of our planet until 2027.
Iain Thomson, 24 Jan 2015
Containers

Google offers cloudy port for Docker container images

Google has expanded its support for Docker-based Linux containers on its Cloud Platform, with the addition of a new, cloud-based hosting service for private container registries.
Neil McAllister, 24 Jan 2015

Dot-com is dead. Long live dot-com

As you probably know, the internet's domain names are dominated by a single three-letter ending: "com".
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Jan 2015
Eiffel Tower Shenzhen day

China 'upgrades' Great Firewall. Oh SNAP! There goes VPN access

China's notorious "Great Firewall" is being blamed for widespread reports of virtual private network (VPN) outages in that country.
Shaun Nichols, 24 Jan 2015
Nokia Lumia 830 group

Planning to upgrade your Lumia to Windows 10? NOT SO FAST

The latest word from Microsoft is that owners of Windows Phone 8 handsets won't necessarily be able to upgrade to Windows Phone 10 after all, in an apparent retreat from what the software giant has said previously.
Neil McAllister, 24 Jan 2015