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The Week in Summary

Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Taking my place in the boardroom for the weekly “sit-down” meeting, I make a faux pas: I try to make polite conversation. In my defence, I claim temporary confusion due to a mix-up with the more casual weekly “stand-up” meeting, which is held in another room but otherwise attended by precisely the same people who are now sitting around the huge, glossy table.
Alistair Dabbs, 29 Nov 2014
Pile of mobiles

Will security concerns scupper your BYOD policy?

Analysis Almost everyone involved in IT fears BYOD to some extent. That’s largely because they are terrified of careless colleagues costing the business a shed load of money.
Tom Brewster, 29 Nov 2014
Hacker image
7

Sony staff face 'weeks of pen and paper' after crippling network hack

Sony Pictures still hasn't recovered from a comprehensive attack on its computer networks – and staff have been reduced to doing their work by hand – according to insiders.
Iain Thomson, 28 Nov 2014
Hayabusa2 gives asteroid asteroid 1999JU3 the horn
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Japan pauses asteroid BOMBING raid – still no word from Bruce Willis?

Japan's space agency JAXA has called off the launch of its Hayabusa2 asteroid-mining mission. The plan is to send a probe to a far-flung space rock, blast a hole in it, grab some material, and return it to Earth.
Iain Thomson, 28 Nov 2014
Hitachi Accelerated Flash detail
2

Looking for a tip-top high-end storage array (and who isn't?) Gartner names its favorite

Gartner's latest Critical Capabilities for General-Purpose, High-End Storage Arrays report says HDS wipes the board with its VSP array while Fujitsu shines bright for OLTP.
Chris Mellor, 28 Nov 2014
android tongue

That sub-$100 Android slab you got on Black Friday? RIDDLED with holes, say infosec bods

Those fighting through hordes of fellow crazed bargain junkies this Black Friday should avoid some of the cheapo Android tablets on offer.
Iain Thomson, 28 Nov 2014
dropbox privacy security eye
9

Dropbox sees rival file-piles merely as dots in rearview mirror

A biz-research report says that cloudy pile-o-files Dropbox is currently walking away with the enterprise sync 'n' share market.
Chris Mellor, 28 Nov 2014
BB_PLAYBOOK_RIM_DOWN_TOILET
6

Thought tab sales were in the toilet this year? Hah! Wait for next

Slablet sales will be stuck in a U-bend next year and it may take a re-think from the manufacturers before they can be flushed out again.
Paul Kunert, 28 Nov 2014
BioLite CampStove
2

Cutting the cord without losing touch with your office

If you're a member of the backroom staff at a big company, you probably spend a lot of time sitting at a desk bashing at a computer. Indeed, in my day job as IT ops manager for a telco I'm delighted to have probably the only truly comfy chair on the premises and my huge desktop screen for the Excel-wrangling that forms part of what I do.
Dave Cartwright, 28 Nov 2014
4

Einstürzende Neubauten's haunting World War I tribute

Music Review “We must have the only recording studio with a compressed air supply,” says Blixa Bargeld as he tunes up his band, Einstürzende Neubauten. Three compressed air hoses hiss into life.
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Nov 2014
Google Chrome

Google Chrome on Windows 'completely unusable', gripe users

Google's Chrome browser promises "speed, simplicity and security", but for a significant number of Windows users you can strike "speed" from that list.
Tim Anderson, 28 Nov 2014

How to get ahead in IT: Swap the geek speak for the spreadsheet

Increasingly, we're told, IT types who "understand" their organisation's business can help their business and get ahead. But what does “understanding” the business actually mean? Why does it matter and how does an ambitious IT professional get the mix of skills needed to attain that understanding and also hit the fast track?
Rachel Willcox, 28 Nov 2014

It's BLOCK FRIDAY: Britain in GREED-crazed bargain bonanza mob frenzy riot MELTDOWN

The sceptred isle of old Blighty is in flames today as greed crazed mobs, both online and in the real world, stormed bricks'n'mortar shops and etail websites alike leaving blood on the linoleum and smoke belching from overstressed data centres – hosting Currys, Tesco and other box-flingers – up and down the land.
Team Register, 28 Nov 2014
Fawlty Towers
6

Customers RAGE after Webfusion goes TITSUP

Venerable hosting firm Webfusion UK is experiencing a crippling outage which has hobbled web services across the country.
Team Register, 28 Nov 2014

EVIL US web giants shield TERRORISTS? Evil SPIES in net freedom CRUSH PLOT?

Analysis Evil US Internet companies are shielding terrorists plotting our destruction! Woo! Evil Tory bastards are using the Woolwich Report as an excuse for a further crackdown on the Internet, muslims and ultra-left Guardian columnists.* Woo!
John Lettice, 28 Nov 2014
IMFT 25nm Flash die
2

All-flash storage or will you settle for hybrid? How to decide

Remember thrashing? Back in the early days of server virtual memory systems, the amount of RAM was so limited that the operating system spent most of its time paging for data on its disks, leaving little or no time for processing applications.
Chris Mellor, 28 Nov 2014

UK politicos ask Facebook 'n' pals to keep Ts&Cs simple, stop 'bamboozling' Brits

British MPs have called upon social media firms to simplify their privacy policies and come clean about how they use personal data.
Jasper Hamill, 28 Nov 2014

Tough Banana Pi: a Raspberry Pi for colour-blind diehards

Review The Raspberry PI Model B+ is the hot new SBC (Single Board Computer) of the moment. The cheap price, low power usage, good support and ease of use make it a very good buy for DIY nerd projects and media front ends.
Stuart Burns, 28 Nov 2014

Docker: Sorry, you're just going to have to learn about it. Today we begin

Sysadmin Blog Docker, meet hype. Hype, meet Docker. Now: Let's have a sit down here and see if we can work through your neuroses.
Trevor Pott, 28 Nov 2014
Pirate Flag

High Court: You've made our SH*T list – corked pirate sites double in a day

The number of banned torrent sites has doubled in Britain after the High Court blocked a record number of piratical webpages.
Jasper Hamill, 28 Nov 2014
1

NetMundial 'rule-the-internet' ISC project gets grudging support of civil society

Civil society groups have decided they will not boycott the proposed new internet governance program, the NetMundial Initiative.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Nov 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car
7

NHS and POLICE non-emergency services GO DARK after Voda switch failure - source

The collapse of Britain's non-emergency telephone numbers for the police (101) and the NHS (111) last week was due to a switch failure at Vodafone, The Register understands.
Kat Hall, 28 Nov 2014
MPlayerX media player

Ten Mac freeware apps for your new Apple baby

Product round-up One saving grace of buying a shiny new Mac over a PC is certainly the lack of factory-installed bloatware. However, while Mac OS X is far from featureless, many users will find themselves headed straight to the Mac App Store or elsewhere to supplement their experience.
Shaun Dormon, 28 Nov 2014

Beyond the genome: YOU'VE BEEN DECODED, again

Most people have heard of the human genome project (HGP), few have yet heard of the human proteome project (HPP) but it is going to transform your life in a far more fundamental way than the HGP never did.
Mark Whitehorn, 28 Nov 2014

Festive streamers caught in Vulture's claws: Gadget-ogle for audiophiles, video geeks

Breaking Fad What was your first streaming device? Over recent months, there has been a glut of them, but the first to find a space on my network was a Roku SoundBridge (or, more accurately, Pinnacle SoundBridge HomeMusic, as it was known in the UK).
Nigel Whitfield, 28 Nov 2014
Pikemen overtaking a bus outside St. Paul's Cathedral, London

21st century data protection: Get back up to date

Register now to watch our webcast explaining why your back up and recovery processes need to adapt to way you work today, and how to do it.
David Gordon, 28 Nov 2014

The Glorious Resolution: Feast your eyes on 5 HiDPI laptops

Product round-up First it was slimline Ultrabooks, then it was convertibles. Now the latest high-tech morsel that PC manufacturers are dangling before us in an attempt to boost their flagging sales is the high-DPI laptop.
Cliff Joseph, 28 Nov 2014
The EDSAC Gallery at the UK National Museum of Computing

UK computing museum starts reboot of 65-year-old EDSAC

The United Kingdom's National Museum of Computing has begun the process of rebooting the Electronic Delay Storage Automatic Calculator – aka EDSAC – a computer commissioned in 1949.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
Azure Index

Azure has put new life into Active Directory

Active Directory is dead: long live Active Directory. While Microsoft's Windows Server Active Directory (WSAD) is unable to meet the needs of today, its younger sibling Azure Active Directory (AAD) looks set to take the world by storm.
Trevor Pott, 28 Nov 2014

World's best threat detection pwned by HOBBIT

Some of the world's best threat detection platforms have been bypassed by custom malware in a demonstration of the fallibility of single defence security.
Darren Pauli, 28 Nov 2014
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Simplez: OLD SCHOOL TECH can SAVE the MEERKAT

Ever wondered who tried to steal your meerkat? Well, worry no longer thanks to the London Zoo, Google and CCTV biz Kinesense.
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Nov 2014
DNA

DNA survives fiery heat of re-entry on test rocket

Sounding rockets are sub-orbital spacecraft used to test rocket technologies and to run other experiments. Launches of such craft are quite common and most escape attention: the TEXUS-49 mission launched from Sweden on March 29th, 2011, and now doesn't even produce a clean hit on Google.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
A rack of Nvidia VCAs
3

Citrix clambers aboard GPU-powered app-delivery bandwagon

Desktop virtualisation's year has been marked by a growing number of insistences that the technology is now mature, doesn't require more storage than you first planned for and can handle even graphics-intensive, workstation-grade workloads.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo

NICTA chief quits over future structure flap with board

Australian research house Research house National ICT Australia (NICTA) has announced the unexpected resignation of CEO Professor Hugh Durrant-Whyte.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
Edward Snowden

Edward Snowden: best ... security ... educator ... EVER!

A good deal of folk aware of NSA leaker Edward Snowden have improved the security of their online activity after learning of his exploits, a large survey has found.
Darren Pauli, 28 Nov 2014
Riecoin
6

Cryptocurrency cruncher cranks prime number constellation

Bitcoin mining, our own Simon Rockman wrote last January, “is essentially a brute-force attack on the generating algorithm”.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
Chinese search engine Baidu's DuBike
4

Chinese search engine Baidu to peddle SmartBike

China's Baidu is often compared to Google: it runs a dominant search engine and is tacking on related services at a brisk pace.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
4

Leaked Syrian log files reveal attempts to starve rebels of information

Syria's Bashar al Assad-led regime blocked scores of legitimate services and entire network regions in its bid to scrub out access to sites such as Reddit, Google and Skype, the first analysis of the nation's web filtering reveals.
Darren Pauli, 28 Nov 2014
VMware logo

VMware secures trademark for something cloudy and secure

VMware has been awarded a mighty interesting-sounding trademark.
Simon Sharwood, 28 Nov 2014
Uber logo
9

Singapore rides to rescue of local cabs by out-Ubering Uber

Singapore's Land Transport Authority (LTA) has found a way to out-Uber Uber, by launching a taxi-finding app of its own.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 2014

Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Apple has reached an agreement with Disney that will see Mickey Mouse telling the time on its new Watch device.
Jasper Hamill, 27 Nov 2014

Sharing Economy sharks need love, cuddles and SUBSIDIES – UK.gov

Analysis The government’s controversial “Independent Review” of so-called “sharing economy” companies – such as Uber – has concluded that they should be encouraged to self-regulate while receive government nurturing and love – and your money.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Nov 2014
Lee_Westwood_bunker

HP's converged storage 'growth engine' stalls

HP's newer, converged storage offerings are selling less well than they did a year ago. In the storage golf tournament, HP has hit bogeys instead of a birdy for the latest hole.
Chris Mellor, 27 Nov 2014
Windows OEM devices on stage at Computex

A WHOPPING 8 million Windows Server 2003 systems still out there

Windows Server 2003 refresh activity has yet to show up in a major way across the UK tech channel amid estimates that eight million physical systems are still out there in the wild - not all of which will be replaced like-for-like.
Paul Kunert, 27 Nov 2014
channel_teaser_money_top
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'Watson AI, cloud, mobile', says payments firm, trousering £49m

Mobile payments company Monitise has raised £49m via partners Telefonica, Santander and MasterCard to invest in global payments tech.
Kat Hall, 27 Nov 2014
An obese belly, dangling freely. Pic: Tony Alter

Software firms are over-valued, says Huawei

Inflated valuations for software companies are discouraging possible acquirers, says Chinese giant Huawei.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Nov 2014
3

User flexibility without the risk

Most organisations are seeing users and business groups starting to make their own technology decisions to some degree or another. On the one hand this provides those in the business with the freedom and flexibility they often crave, but unilateral adoption of equipment, software and services can create ambiguity over who is responsible for what. Action therefore needs to be taken to ensure that costs and risks do not escalate out of control.
Dale Vile, 27 Nov 2014
Candy Crush Saga
7

Candy Crush King king resigns for 'personal reasons'

The chairman of Candy Crush-maker King has quit as the head of the firm and stepped down from the board for “personal reasons”, the company said.

Forget the accountancy scandal, our biz is back: Tech Data

If companies operate as intended then sales growth should be a given, and with its accountancy scandal pretty much behind it Tech Data reported business as usual for the fiscal third quarter that ended last month.
Paul Kunert, 27 Nov 2014
The BlackBerry Z10

BlackBerry's turnaround relies on a secret weapon: Its own network

Analysis Last year we invited you, as a thought experiment, to value BlackBerry as an oddball cluster of startups – and now it seems the company has taken our advice to heart. It forms the heart of its strategy: the once tightly coupled divisions are free to compete – even if it means taking business off each other.
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Nov 2014
SEA hack the Independent website

Syrian Electronic Army in news site 'hack' POP-UP MAYHEM

The Syrian Electronic Army has compromised a number of news websites – apparently through DNS redirects via Gigya, a customer identity management platform used by all the sites.
Jasper Hamill, 27 Nov 2014
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Home Depot hacker hosing cost a wallet-draining $43m (so far)

Hacked hardware mart Home Depot has forked out $43m to quash spot fires emanating from the data breach inferno this year, SEC filing documents show.
Darren Pauli, 27 Nov 2014
Blade Runner screenshot

Bladerunner sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it

Harrison Ford will star in the much-anticipated sequel to Blade Runner, director Ridley Scott has confirmed.
Jasper Hamill, 27 Nov 2014
Suitcase bulging with cash
3

Yahoo! CIO sued for alleged kickback scam during his stint as Netflix veep

Yahoo! and its CIO Mike Kail may have a problem on their hands, after his former employer Netflix launched a civil suit against him for allegedly accepting kickbacks when he was working as their veep of IT operations.

Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then

The European Parliament is gunning for Google. In a completely unenforceable symbolic gesture today, it voted to “unbundle search engines from commercial services” (which would, in effect mean the breakup of Google).
Jennifer Baker, 27 Nov 2014

Home Office: Fancy flogging us some SECRET SPY GEAR?

The Home Office is seeking suppliers for a £20m contract for a "bespoke tracking and surveillance system" for all law enforcement agencies.
Kat Hall, 27 Nov 2014

Hire and hold IT staff in 2015: The Reg's how-to guide

Employers beware – after years of relative inactivity, job seekers are gearing up for change. Economic improvements and an increase in business confidence have led to a burgeoning jobs market and an epidemic of itchy feet.
Rachel Willcox, 27 Nov 2014
Suppliers_and_Silos
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The SILO SPRAWL: So just how much virtualising software lipstick does it need?

Comment The more hybrid and heterogeneous data storage silos we have, the more we need single management focus.
Chris Mellor, 27 Nov 2014
GRAEF USA Rack
9

Do you spend ages wasting time because of a bulging rack?

Comment Behold GRAEF-USA's mostly empty rack; latency sucks, and getting files from the cloud generally means multiple round trip delays if large files are needed in remote offices and shared by project teams. But Panzura says it has cloud storage gateway tech that solves this problem and cites GRAEF-USA and a 2-site, $250K saving as evidence.
Chris Mellor, 27 Nov 2014
Blend for Visual Studio 2015

Pity the poor Windows developer: The tools for desktop development are in disarray

Analysis When Microsoft came up with Windows 8 a couple of years ago, the message was clear: the future is tablet-shaped. The Windows desktop is still there, but not much changed from Windows 7 - some things went backwards, such as translucent “Aero” windows, available in 7 but gone in 8. Now the company is scrambling to fix its desktop development tools.
Tim Anderson, 27 Nov 2014
8

Stop selling spyware to despotic regimes, beg MEPs

The EU’s laws on snooping technology exports must be updated in light of the Regin breach, according to some MEPs.
Jennifer Baker, 27 Nov 2014
VideoLAN VLC Player

Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

Product round-up No matter if you're reinstalling Windows for the 47th time this fortnight or attempting to rid a new machine of bloatware in favour of something that's actually useful, the question remains: what alternative apps exist that don’t involve coughing up for obscene licensing fees?
Shaun Dormon, 27 Nov 2014
DataCore CEO George Teixeira and chairman Ziya Aral
3

DataCore lifts baton, strikes up the 64th SANsymphony

Comment DataCore has updated its SANsymphony and Virtual SAN software products to reach 100 million IOPS and 64PB capacity. It's also getting into bed with Azure.
Chris Mellor, 27 Nov 2014
Lightning

Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

Analysis It has been more than 100 years since the first wireless power systems were demonstrated and the principles are about as well-known as any in the technology field.
Iain Thomson, 27 Nov 2014

Post-Microsoft, post-PC programming: The portable REVOLUTION

Some years back, when Microsoft was mired in Windows Vista and open source issues, and web developers were on an accelerating trajectory, a quiet revolution took place.

Chromecast video on UK, Euro TVs hertz so badly it makes us judder – but Google 'won't fix'

Google disappointed fans of its priced-like-a-pizza Chromecast TV dongle this week, when it said it won't be fixing an annoying video quirk that has some European customers' eyes twitching.
Neil McAllister, 27 Nov 2014
Sony smartwatch crop

Sony cuff-puter to do one thing smartwatches can't: Give you DAYS of hot wrist action

Sony is to bring out a smartwatch with an e-paper screen that solves one of the biggest wearable shortfalls: battery life.
Iain Thomson, 27 Nov 2014
Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko on August 8th

Rosetta science team thinks Philae might come to life in the spring

Scientists on the Rosetta comet mission team report they are confident that the Philae lander is not down for the count and should be revived in the spring or summer of next year once it has had a chance to warm up a bit.
Iain Thomson, 27 Nov 2014
5

Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher

Naughty domain owners are still playing nasty tricks on the whois domain lookup service to tease the likes of Google and Microsoft.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 2014
Bitcoin bloodbath

Bitcoin laid bare: Boffins beat anonymity

The cyber-libertarian poster-child Bitcoin, meant to usher in a new age of anonymous transactions, is rubbish at protecting users' IP addresses according to research from the University of Luxembourg.

The gender imbalance in IT is real, ongoing and ridiculous

Over the past few years it has been my delight to serve as a judge with Young ICT Explorers, an annual competition of primary and secondary age kids who put their heart and soul into some often very impressive IT projects. After every event I come away seriously impressed with the skills of the next generation.
Mark Pesce, 27 Nov 2014
cloud

NSF goes cloudy with US$16 million super funding

The fatter-than-fat connections provided by America's ESNet to its research community are about to enable a more cloudy supercomputing approach for researchers, with the National Science Foundation has setting aside US$16 million to build new facilities in Indiana and Texas.
1

Global Commission on Internet Governance wobbles into IANA debate

The Global Commission on Internet Governance (GCIG) has waded into the debate over the critical IANA contract with a formal statement and position paper. Rather than making a splash, however, the result is somewhat of a soggy mess.
Kieren McCarthy, 27 Nov 2014
GoPro HD 2 sports camcorder
9

A DRONE OF THEIR OWN: GoPro tabbed for cameracopter launch

Action camera company GoPro is reportedly planning to develop and sell its own line of camera-equipped drones.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Nov 2014
7

Adobe Reader sandbox popped says Google researcher

The Acrobat Reader Windows sandbox contains a vulnerability that could allow attackers to break out and gain higher privileges, Google security bod James Forshaw claims.
Darren Pauli, 27 Nov 2014

Hacker dodges FOUR HUNDRED YEARS in cooler for SCANNING sites

A US hacker has dodged 440 years in prison for computer crime offences that amount to scanning sites with automatic tools and filling in web forms with junk data.
Darren Pauli, 27 Nov 2014
Ancient skull found in cave in northern Laos
3

Siemens issues emergency SCADA patch

Got Siemens SCADA? Get patching: the company has issued updates for software using its WinCC application to plug a bunch of remotely-exploitable vulnerabilities.
Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott
4

Australia to conduct national cyber-security review

Australia will conduct a national “cyber-security review”.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 2014

AWS CloudFront wobbles at worst possible time

Don't start your Black Friday online shopping spree just yet: Amazon Web Services' CloudFront content delivery network has wobbled over the last few hours and the perennially-loss-making retailer, and customers of its cloud computing services, have reportedly been hard to access.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 2014
Bill Gates

Gates Foundation to insist on Open Access science

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has drawn a line in the sand: as of next year, it will only fund research that is released in full, for free, immediately upon publication.
Simon Sharwood, 27 Nov 2014
Gesture six

AT&T to FTC: I'd like to see YOU install 1Gbps fiber across the US. Which we're still doing

AT&T has told the FCC to mind its own business after the US watchdog started poking around the ISP's threat to halt its fiber broadband rollout.
Shaun Nichols, 27 Nov 2014

Save Thanksgiving! Get your turkey to text you when it's done

It may be a cliché, but the one thing guaranteed to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner, as well as provide one more thing that your family to torture you with for the rest of your life, is a burnt turkey.
Kieren McCarthy, 27 Nov 2014

Twitter App Graph exposes smartphone spyware feature

App developers around the world are cursing Twitter for spilling the beans: spyware isn't a bug on iOS or Android, it's a feature.
A bald Carly Fiorina superimposed over the Capitol building in DC

Forget Hillary, HP's ex CARLY FIORINA 'wants to be next US Prez'

Carly Fiorina – the former HP chief executive who presided over the firm's $24.2bn merger with Compaq – is mulling a run for the US presidency in 2016, Washington insiders claim.
Neil McAllister, 26 Nov 2014
Tesla's Elon Musk
1

Tesla confirms Australian launch date

Tesla, which earlier this year started scouting around for charging stations in Australia and has also popped up with displays in at least one Sydney mall, has confirmed December for its official launch.
Turnbull with Switkowski in Blacktown

Turnbull should spare us all airline-magazine-grade cloud hype

Australia's Communications minister Malcolm Turnbull on Monday labelled those who oppose use of the public cloud “box-huggers” and suggested such behaviour is bad because it ties organisations to an outmoded and expensive way of doing IT.
Simon Sharwood, 26 Nov 2014
BlackBerry Passport

BlackBerry will pay you $$$s to be its friend and dump that iPhone

Sales-challenged BlackBerry is hoping to bribe iPhone users away from Apple with a cash offer starting next month.
Shaun Nichols, 26 Nov 2014
First part from 3D printer on ISS

NASA 'nauts have a go on Star Trek replicator IN SPAAAAACE (sort of)

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station have tested their new 3D printer – proving they can manufacture small parts while in orbit, somewhat.
Iain Thomson, 26 Nov 2014
Sony God of War II
5

Net neutrality: EU's three-headed beast now at war with itself

Europe’s telecoms ministers are miles from an agreement with the European Parliament on net neutrality, as differences between the EU's governmental bodies become more apparent.
Jennifer Baker, 26 Nov 2014
HP CEO Meg Whitman

Wasn't it all supposed to be so different by now, Meg?

Showering partners with love, making changes to the exec line-up, upping R&D and other tweaks made by CEO Meg Whitman were supposed to get HP's business firing on all cylinders, but after year three of the turnaround plan, they've yet to do so.
Paul Kunert, 26 Nov 2014
The Samsung Galaxy S5 in 'copper'
5

Samsung makes investors happy with $1bn share buyback

Samsung has announced a plan to buy back $2bn worth of its shares, after investors pressured the firm for higher returns.
Engineers making quantum devices at the Australian National Fabrication Facility at UNSW: Credit: Australian National Fabrication Facility

UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS

Oxford boffins have vowed to have the largest quantum computer ever made up and running within five years and help Blighty regain its place at the top of the tech world.
Jasper Hamill, 26 Nov 2014
Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/eddiedangerous/ licensed under creative commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ please attribute

Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix

Musicians and composers have launched a High Court legal challenge to a change the government has made to UK copyright law. British bureaucrats insisted on introducing a long-overdue private copying exception without compensation - the only European state to do so.
Andrew Orlowski, 26 Nov 2014
Use google.com button

Right to be forgotten should apply to Google.com too: EU

Europe’s data protection watchdogs say there’s no need for Google to notify webmasters when it de-lists a page under the so-called "right to be forgotten" ruling.
Jennifer Baker, 26 Nov 2014
Tim Cook as Mr T

Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland

Apple has achieved a record-breaking market capitalisation of $700bn - making it more valuable than Switzerland.
Jasper Hamill, 26 Nov 2014
3

Fat upstart Nimble embiggens revenues by 77% in ONE quarter

Nimble Storage is providing an object lesson in how to grow a startup after IPO, posting a 77 per cent jump in quarterly revenues – with revenue growth outstripping the loss increase rate.
Chris Mellor, 26 Nov 2014
Tongue

ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST

The Advertising Standards Authority has rapped the knuckles of video bloggers for making it unclear when they’re actually recommending something and when they’ve been paid to hawk it to unsuspecting YouTubers.
Data breach image
5

Look out: That data protection watchdog can bite

Despite all the furores, calamities and Snowden-related shenanigans of recent years, the UK’s privacy watchdog remains something of a pussycat, and a lean one at that.
Tom Brewster, 26 Nov 2014
Kim Dotcom

Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME!

Vid Megaupload founder, wannabe politician and wanted man Kim Dotcom has spent all of his money trying to avoid extradition to the US to face online piracy charges.

Speaking in Tech: Is OpenStack really letting the SAN shine?

Podcast Podcast It's another episode of El Reg's weekly tech podcast, stuffed with news and views on everything that's happened in our world this week.
Team Register, 26 Nov 2014
arrow pointing up
2

Can't flog software for love nor money? UK mega-reseller Softcat probably ate your lunch

Unstoppable reseller juggernaut Softcat has smashed through the £500m sales barrier in the most recent fiscal year ended July, meaning it has grown for the past 36 straight quarters.
Paul Kunert, 26 Nov 2014

I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

Most films take a sombre view of time travel. Beings from the future will look back on our concepts of time travel seen in films as different as the Time Bandits and the Edge of Tomorrow and wonder what the hell we were thinking.
Lucy Orr, 26 Nov 2014
Finished product, photo: Mark Whitehorn

Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register

Most car marques – Lagonda, Ford, Morgan and so on – have a proud history and the respective car clubs often worship the original form; if you present a car for judging, it had better be exactly as per factory spec. Or else.
Mark Whitehorn, 26 Nov 2014
P3 uses dedicated hardware

Yes, UK. REST OF EUROPE has better mobe services than you

UK readers, what you've always suspected has been proven true – even the weakest mobile networks abroad perform better than some of our best. This is according to German mobile network survey company P3, which this week published solid numbers on mobile network coverage.
Simon Rockman, 26 Nov 2014
Downing Street road sign

Universal Credit CRISIS: Up to £200m in IT spend WASTED – NAO

Around £219m in IT investments in the much-maligned Universal Credit programme may be written off, a National Audit Office report has revealed today.
Kat Hall, 26 Nov 2014
Amazon Fire Phone

What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight

Review Having a headline piece of consumer tech crash and burn in the US market is every company's nightmare – and that's exactly what happened to Amazon’s Fire Phone, whose price has just PLUNGED from $449 to $199 Stateside.
Alun Taylor, 26 Nov 2014
Amazon claims 5x read performance for Aurora vs MySQL
1

Inside Aurora: how disruptive is Amazon’s MySQL clone?

At its recent re:Invent conference in Las Vegas, Amazon announced its new database engine Aurora, claiming it to be a commercial grade database engine at open-source cost. “It’s at least as available, durable and fault-tolerant as the enterprise editions of the proprietary commercial database engines and high-end SANs,” said senior AWS VP Andy Jassy, “and it’s a tenth of the cost.”
Tim Anderson, 26 Nov 2014

Zero-day hacking group resorts to UNICORN SMUT-SLINGING

Sysadmins who have not yet patched their Windows boxes against the 18-year-old "unicorn-like" OLE bug disclosed last month could expect a deluge of spear phishing smut from a group once confined to lofty targeted zero-day attacks.
Darren Pauli, 26 Nov 2014
6

LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French

Back in October, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team welcomed our magnificent Kickstarter sponsors to Vulture Central, and among those who rolled up to be frisked by security at the door were representatives of London-based IT support firm Lucidica.
Lester Haines, 26 Nov 2014
Asus ZenFone 5

Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids

Product round-up Cheap Android smartphones have their place ultimately in a landfill site1 for those on a tight budget or as an extra for convenience abroad or elsewhere. So what if you fall into the middle ground?
Alun Taylor, 26 Nov 2014

UK.gov biz dept: Yoof APPRENTICE? Get a degree while YOU'RE HIRED

Blighty’s government has come up with a new plan to get kids into science, tech, engineering and maths careers – by giving ‘em a degree along with their apprenticeship.
Downing Street road sign

Calls for probe of UK.gov's DOESN'T VERIFY ID service

Britain's opposition Labour party is calling on the government to urgently address its gaffe-prone identity assurance system "Verify" – the key component in getting citizens to use transactional digital services – or face an official investigation.
Kat Hall, 26 Nov 2014

As-a-service upstarts will KILL OFF THE CORPORATES?

Worstall on Wednesday Amazingly, economists have figured out a few things...even things that can help in this brave new digital world. One of these is the "marketplaces vs firm" debate.
Tim Worstall, 26 Nov 2014
Spying image

Five-eyes partners dilute UN resolution criticising metadata collection

The “five eyes” surveillance partners – the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada and New Zealand – have joined forces to nobble a UN General Assembly committee's statements on digital privacy.
7

How to run a big web music biz (Spotify): Grab more cash from fans, sink deeper into the red

Spotify has taken advice from Taylor Swift and shaken off its haters: the online music streaming upstart is in good shape despite increased losses.
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Nov 2014

Floody hell! Brits cram Internet of Things into tight White Spaces

Geeks in Oxford, England, have squeezed 13Mbps down and 3Mbps up a single channel of White Space – unused TV frequencies in their area – and used the tech to connect up river flood sensors.
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Nov 2014
management regulation2

BT said to have pulled patent-infringing boxes from DSL network

BT's patent spat with US company ASSIA will start to be noticed by customers, with the carrier reportedly shutting down boxes that provide rate adaptation after it lost a crucial round of legal action.

Bloke fighting Facebook in court says ad network claims its users lack 'legal capacity' to sue it

Austrian Facebook-botherer-in-chief Max Schrems says the US social network appears to be saying its users are either too young or too insane to file a class-action lawsuit against it.
Jennifer Baker, 26 Nov 2014

Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT

A terrifying new quiz has indicated that the state of knowledge among Americans regarding IT topics is abysmally low: but the questions are such as to indicate that even the drafters of the quiz didn't know much.
Lewis Page, 26 Nov 2014
Samsung Eyecan
2

Hey, here's some face-tracking tech from Samsung you probably won't find creepy at all

Samsung says it'll release the source code to software that allows physically disabled people to move a mouse pointer with their eyes.
Shaun Nichols, 26 Nov 2014

Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds...

After Symantec published its report on the Regin super-spyware, there were many questions raised. Who coded it? What can it do? And – above all – why did it take so long for security vendors to notice it?
Iain Thomson, 26 Nov 2014

UK cops: Give us ONE journo's phone records. Vodafone: Take the WHOLE damn database!

Blundering Vodafone leaked the phone records of 1,760 Brit journalists and their colleagues to London's Met Police, a UK watchdog confirmed on Tuesday.
Shaun Nichols, 26 Nov 2014
2

Privacy bods Detekt FinFisher dressed as bookmark manager

The Detekt privacy tool has discovered the FinFisher law enforcement spyware masquerading as a benign bookmark manager.
Darren Pauli, 26 Nov 2014
eyeofSauron

Snowden doc leak lists submarine'd cables tapped by spooks

Edward Snowden's latest document dump has confirmed the extensive list of submarine cables tapped by the NSA, GCHQ and others.
Can you figure out the mystery company?

Guess which US tech giant was just hit with a $137m tax bill in China?

The Chinese government doesn't want to embarrass whichever US multinational it just slapped with a US$140m bill in back taxes – but let's just say it's large and its name begins with the letter "M."
Neil McAllister, 26 Nov 2014

Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Apple looks to be trying to do something about the flaky nature of software progress bars by making them user-configurable so they report when a machine has missed its estimate of the time needed to complete a task.
Simon Sharwood, 26 Nov 2014
Google UK office logos

Google turns on shiny new .google top-level domain – but WHY?

Google has turned on its namesake top-level domain (TLD) with the creation of 'nic.google' representing the internet giant's entry into the domain name market.
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Nov 2014
NBN Co Customer premises equipment
1

NBN Co makes it official - backhaul charges will fall

NBN Co has followed through on its promise to cut the price of its services with a 12.5 per cent snip off the price of its connectivity virtual circuit (CVC) as of 1 February 2015.
NASA MMS screen grab
8

NASA preps mission to probe Earth's magnetic mysteries

Video Next March, all going well, NASA will launch a bunch of spacecraft to try and unravel the mechanism of what's called magnetic reconnection, a process by which Earth's magnetic fields connect and disconnect.

Boffins find Jackie Chan's SUPERCOP is good for something

Blu-Ray might not be setting the world afire, but boffins have turned up a surprising upside of the technology that can be applied to solar PV manufacture.
2

Security seals clobbered ahead of Black Friday bonanza

This Black Friday, beware the shop with the security seal: researchers have shown that issuers of common good webkeeping seals of approval sometimes miss basic flaws, happily certify phishing sites and inadvertently function as a hackers' black book of vulnerable sites.
Darren Pauli, 26 Nov 2014
The invitation for the Windows 8 launch in October 2012

IDC: iPad sales CRASH incoming ... Win 8 killing 2-in-1 typoslabs

Market-watcher IDC has bad news for makers of tablets and two-in-one typoslabs like Microsoft's Surface: sales of the former are going to slow markedly and punters are avoiding the latter due to Windows 8.
Simon Sharwood, 26 Nov 2014
sea_hp_sink
5

HP biz split latest: 'I'm excited!' says CEO as investors exchange nervous looks

HP performed about as well as the analysts expected for the fourth quarter of its fiscal 2014, which is to say it was another difficult quarter that put the cap on what has been a trying year for the tarnished tech titan.
Neil McAllister, 26 Nov 2014
3

Toshiba Australia recalls combustible laptop power cords

Toshiba Australia has issued a recall notice for the power cord it supplied with laptops sold in Australia between 1st September 2010 and 30th June 2012.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
Adobe security
7

Second time's a charm: Adobe has another go at killing Flash hijack flaw

Ready to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday? Can't wait to open your advent calendar? Not so fast – there's one more patch to install before the month is over.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014

NSA SOURCE CODE LEAK: Information slurp tools to appear online

The NSA has decided to let the public have a peek at what it's been up to, for a change, by promising to release some of its data analysis tools under an open-source license.
Neil McAllister, 25 Nov 2014
Sony PSP Vita

FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Sony will dish out cash and vouchers to PlayStation Vita gamers following allegations its ads for the handheld console were lies.
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
The European flag

Dawn raids on Orange over TROMBONING allegations were fine, rules EU court

The European Commission was perfectly entitled to conduct dawn raids against Orange, according to the EU General Court.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
5

KCOM Group results hit by Phones4U woes

Brit telco and tech services playa KCOM Group has kickstarted a cost-cutting programme to counter a wobbly top and bottom line, not helped by the collapse of Phone4You and slower than expected PSN demand.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014

Mysterious BEAM outside London Googleplex ZAPPED

Vid Workmen are digging up the spot outside Google's London headquarters where a mysterious "beam" once made pedestrians' hair stand on end.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
SanDisk_PCIe-SSA_detail

SanDisk vows: We'll have a 16TB SSD WHOPPER by 2016

Intel is well behind the curve with its 10TB flash drive, slated for 2016, claims a SanDisk enterprise storage bigwig, adding that the flash memory storage provider will have a 16TB drive by then.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014

Soz Europe: IBM to delay System X Lenovo switchover for a month

IBM says it has delayed the European switchover of the outgoing x86 business to Lenovo by one month in a bid to side-step sales disruption in its busiest quarter of the year.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014
2

C'mon, Brocade: QLogic's left the Fibre Channel game. Flat revenues again?

Analysis Brocade is a member of the flat revenue Earth society, with its mix of annual and quarterly Fibre Channel and Ethernet revenues hardly changing between last year and this year.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014
Motorola StarTac
7

Lenovo: We'll say HELLO MOTO to profits in 18 months

Lenovo is looking to do for Motorola mobiles what it did for the IBM Thinkpad, kicking life into the products and making the company profitable.
Simon Rockman, 25 Nov 2014
Violin array flash cards

Don't fret: Flash array fiddler Violin sees revenue rise, losses dip

Violin has recorded rising revenues and lessening losses for its third quarter as the new CEO gets the flash array company barking louder in the data centre flash array dogfight.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014

EU-Canada airline passenger data-sharing is not a done deal

A European deal to share airline travellers’ personal information with Canada could be chucked out after MEPs asked the ECJ to intervene.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
netflix

Sacre vache! Netflix ne parle pas le Frenchy ... zat is against ze LAW

Netflix's seeming inability to parle Francais has landed the US video giant in trouble.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014

South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

An anonymous South Londoner has been named as the winner of a pseudo lottery designed to (hopefully) make one Reddit user a millionaire.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
4

Phoenix IT Group CEO: Turnarounds don't happen overnight

The turnaround at Phoenix IT Group initiated by CEO Steve Vaughan was never going to happen overnight and the latest set of declining half-year numbers for the period ended September are testament to that point.
Paul Kunert, 25 Nov 2014
Our Playmonaut celebrates with a brace of blondes

El Reg reanimates Cash'n'Carrion merchandising tentacle

We're pleased to announce that we've reanimated our merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion, so Reg fans can once again get a fix of top-notch Vulture Central kit.
Lester Haines, 25 Nov 2014
The MSN Santa (unconfirmed)

Amazon’s CHRISTMAS QUEUEING bonanza!

Amazon is giving the Royal Mail a leg up this Christmas by agreeing to allow folks to pick up parcels at their local post office.
channel_teaser_money_top
1

Hungry Advanced Computer Software gets swallowed for £725m

Acquisition-hungry Advanced Computer Software (ACS) has itself been acquired by private equity firm Vista for £725m.
Kat Hall, 25 Nov 2014

MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for TERRORISM'

A Parliamentary report into the murder of off-duty British soldier Lee Rigby by Muslim extremists last year has pointed the finger of blame squarely at "the major US Communications Service Providers", saying that the only organisation which could have prevented the attack was one such internet-media giant.
Lewis Page, 25 Nov 2014

Samsung to boot out Shin after Galaxy S5 tanks – report

Sales of the Galaxy S5 have so disappointed Samsung that it is reportedly looking at ousting mobile boss JK Shin and parachuting in appliances and telly tsar BK Yoon – who would oversee mobiles as well as his existing remit.
Simon Rockman, 25 Nov 2014
VNX-F with 120-slot DAE
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EMC upgrading all-flash VNX with bigger SSD and drive box

Comment EMC's VNX-F range of all-flash VNX arrays will soon scale up to 172TB of usable capacity, with a less than $5/GB cost, using a new drive enclosure and higher-capacity drives.
Chris Mellor, 25 Nov 2014
6

NEWSFLASH: You may ALREADY have seen Steve Jobs' willy

He's an actor with one of the most famous penises in Hollywood. Now the notoriously well-endowed superstar Michael Fassbender is set to play the tech world's "biggest dick": Steve Jobs.
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
Orange Credit Card

Bank of England: What's all this then, CHAPS? Review to get a grip on IT cockup

The Bank of England has opened an investigation into the IT failure of its bank-to-bank payment processing system, which handles £277bn a day.
Kat Hall, 25 Nov 2014
Guinevere gets a clean

Suffering satellites! Goonhilly's ARTHUR REBORN for SPAAAACE

Geek's Guide to Britain Big data? Pah. Arthur is big hardware. He weighs in at 1,118 tonnes, has a diameter of 25.9 metres and is 52 years old. From his home, a high plateau on Cornwall’s remote Lizard peninsula – as far south as you can go on the island of Great Britain without falling off – he has played his part in Space Age history, appropriate given he resembles one of its rockets in scale and riveting style.
SA Mathieson, 25 Nov 2014
World of Warcraft: Orcs and Humans

World of Warcraft then and now: From Orcs and Humans to Warlords of Draenor

Antique Code Show As The Dark Portal opens in the new World of Warcraft expansion Warlords of Draenor, and all manner of beasties descend upon Orgrimmar, Stormwind and Ashran, I think it’s about time to revisit the RTS game that spawned the franchise, Warcraft: Orcs and Humans.
Lucy Orr, 25 Nov 2014

Whistling Google: PLEASE! Brussels can only hurt Europe, not us

+Analysis A few days ago President Obama wrote a cheque he knew he couldn’t cash - and this week the European Parliament will write another.
Andrew Orlowski, 25 Nov 2014
Pre-teen sysadmin on the Disney show Shake it Up
6

Social misfits and group interviews: Yup, it's the startup interview circuit

A lot of people have either worked with or know someone who worked at a startup. Lots have good experiences while some have bad experiences – and they have the scars to prove it. Their stories are funny, odd and sometimes downright weird.
Stuart Burns, 25 Nov 2014
ITU logo

And the award for the world's most tech-savvy country goes to …

The International Telecommunications Union (ITU) has issued its annual Measuring the Information Society report and found that Denmark is the world's most technologically-developed nation.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
European Union Flag

Ex-EU digi supremo Steelie Neelie's net neutrality bid in tatters?

Former EU digital tzar Neelie Kroes’ net neutrality plans for the Continent may be chucked out by national governments.
Jennifer Baker, 25 Nov 2014
Rickmote
3

Who's been writing in my apps? Googlilocks builds new apps-tracker

Google has bolstered the security of its Apps platform with new reports providing insight into the number of devices accessing the account over the past month.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
hand with thumb up

Disturbance in the force lets phones detect gestures with Wi-Fi

How would you like a phone that gives you gesture recognition - without needing to buy a new phone?
How TXTing stresses your spine

Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU

Medical boffins have codified two new gadget-derived diseases.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014

Stop the IoT revolution! We need to figure out packet sizes first

While the world gets excited about Internet-of-stuff saving people from the exhaustion that follows putting down a smartphone or using a remote control to adjust the thermostat, there's a bunch of research still needed to get more serious applications like sensor networks bedded down.

Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins

Vid After using a submersible robot to probe the frozen waters of Antarctica, climate and ecosystem scientists conclude its sea ice "may be thicker than previously thought."
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

No more lies, T-Mobile US: Download speed caps magically vanished on speed test websites

T-Mobile USA has agreed to stop twiddling with subscribers' mobile broadband speeds to hide the fact they were being capped.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
1

Craigslist pushes punters to YouTube, hacker site

Craigslist is asking users to flush their DNS after one or more pranksters twice changed the DNS records of the popular flesh and furniture classifieds site so it redirects users to a website and video.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
troll

Anti-download biz sued for 'abusive' robo-call demands for money

Internet piracy hunter Rightscorp, which shakes down alleged copyright infringers for damages, has been accused of harassment, abuse and illegal debt collection.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
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New 'Internet Security Council' struggling to get off the ground

Plans for a new internet governance body are struggling to get off the ground after blowback from the internet community itself.
Kieren McCarthy, 25 Nov 2014
Cellular antenna. Source: Vxla/Flickr

Qualcomm joins Ericsson, Telstra in 450 Mbps LTE demo

Telstra has again demonstrated technology that will let lucky LTE users consume the entire 15 GB of its largest consumer post-paid broadband plan in less than 5 minutes.
Glorious future of China
1

Huawei's and ZTE's SDN embrace: soft power in vendor-land

China's network hardware sector has taken another step into the world of openness with ZTE joining the Open Platform for NFV (OPNFV) project.
7

Telcos spaff $36bn on gobbling Uncle Sam's radio frequencies for beefier cell coverage

US watchdog the FCC has raised at least US$36bn from telcos by auctioning off a load of radio frequencies for improving wireless broadband.
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2014
The MSN Santa (unconfirmed)
6

Google's elves work on Santa to rein(deer) in grinchware

Google's elves have been busy working on a toy for all the girls and boys who run Mac OS and worry about getting a virus.
Simon Sharwood, 25 Nov 2014
Hacked sarcasm

Sony Pictures in IT lock-down after alleged hacker hosing

Sony Pictures is investigating a breach that has seen hackers supposedly steal reams of internal data and splash defacements across staff computers. The company is now in lock-down as it wrestles with the problem.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014

Abbott scholarship leaker escapes conviction

Sydney whistleblower Freya Newman has been served a two-year good behaviour bond with no conviction after pleading guilty to illegally accessing and leaking documents about a scholarship awarded to the daughter of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott.
Darren Pauli, 25 Nov 2014
7

How secure is Docker? If you're not running version 1.3.2, NOT VERY

A nasty vulnerability has been discovered in the Docker application containerization software for Linux that could allow an attacker to gain elevated privileges and execute code remotely on affected systems.
Neil McAllister, 25 Nov 2014
Apple iPad 3 aka new iPad
9

Apple surges in on the BYOD wave

Apple has wowed consumers with its phone and tablet devices but this is not the only market to embrace its products. Enterprises are snapping up iPhones and iPads in ever increasing numbers.
Danny Bradbury, 24 Nov 2014
6

100 IT workers face the axe at CSIRO

The Staff Association at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) reckons that among the nearly 900 jobs being cut from the science agency, IT and comms is to lose at least 119.

Google's Chrome to pull plug on plugins next September

Google is moving ahead with its plan to end support for Netscape plugins in its Chrome browser – and has set next September as the date for when they will stop working altogether.
Neil McAllister, 24 Nov 2014
Malware image

Regin: The super-spyware the security industry has been silent about

A public autopsy of sophisticated intelligence-gathering spyware Regin is causing waves today in the computer security world.
Iain Thomson, 24 Nov 2014
Satya Nadella speaking at a Microsoft cloud event

US taxmen won't say WHY they're probing Microsoft. So Redmond is suing the IRS

The US Internal Revenue Service has been digging into Microsoft's tax records from 2004 through 2009, and Redmond has filed a lawsuit against the government to find out why.
Neil McAllister, 24 Nov 2014

Woman who stung Tinder with sex-pest sueball stings again – with rival Bumble app

A Tinder cofounder who sued the upstart for sexual harassment will launch a competing dating app called Bumble next month.
Kieren McCarthy, 24 Nov 2014
X-wing and Y-wing starfighters of the Rebel Alliance approaching the Death Star

Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs

Pics and video SpaceX boss Elon Musk has been showing off steerable wings on his company's Falcon rocket booster – and a floating landing pad to catch the reusable craft out at sea.
Iain Thomson, 24 Nov 2014
2

Mega GP tech services framework badge awarded

Insight UK and Phoenix IT Group are flying the flag for mainstream tech suppliers after scoring a seat on the mammoth General Practice Systems of Choice (GPSoC) framework.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
Kinetic Terascale
1

Belgian upstart to 'bridge gap' between object, block storage. Or that’s the plan at least

Interview Belgian startup incubator Cloudfounders is working to have a pool of Seagate Kinetic drives provide block storage for virtual machines, as traditional object storage can't cope? Er, what gives?
Chris Mellor, 24 Nov 2014

Google dodges 'costly' legal precedent, settles Daniel Hegglin case

Google has avoided a costly legal precedent by settling out of court in an online abuse case due to be heard in the High Court today, legal experts have said.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014
nina

Huawei Enterprise UK helmsman Poskett sails off to Dell

Texan tech baron Dell has poached the boss of Huawei Enterprise UK, Dave Poskett, as deputy head of one of its Blighty-based divisions.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
iPhone that fell from 13,500 feet (source: CNN)

iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple

Tech analyst Ming-Chi Kuo has predicted Apple will face a grim start to 2015 with iPhone sales plummeting by up to a third.
Jasper Hamill, 24 Nov 2014
BT Openreach van

Mighty Blighty broadbanders beg: Let us lay cable in BT's, er, ducts

Updated Blighty's broadband providers are once again at Ofcom to do something about the alleged monopoly they believe former national telco BT maintains in the business broadband sector.

New Snapchat Snapcash service inspires amateur PORN STARS

The advent of Snapchat's new mobile micropayments system, Snapcash, has spawned a new business sector: users who are keen to get paid in cold hard cash for their amateur porn efforts.
Jasper Hamill, 24 Nov 2014
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/
5

HDS, HP leapfrog NetApp in the land of the MAGIC QUADRANT

The gnomic Gartnerites have promoted HDS and HP over NetApp in their 2014 general purpose array magic quadrant, with an explanation of the concept given here.
Chris Mellor, 24 Nov 2014

New job in 2015? The Reg guide to getting out and moving on

Official stats show the British economy is recovering, with a huge demand for tech jobs across the board, and the storm of outsourcing and offshoring seen over the last few years now abating. Even those in Whitehall are hiring, bringing back in-house the planning and execution smarts they previously let go.
Rachel Willcox, 24 Nov 2014
O2 XDA Argon

BT in talks to RE-SLURP O2 after spitting it out a decade ago

BT could be the new owner of Blighty mobe network O2 if talks with Spanish parent Telefonica go well.
1

Logicalis splits with UK sales director Brooker after five months

After less than five months on the job Logicalis sales director Tony Brooker has left the Slough-based integrator, sources have told The Channel.
Paul Kunert, 24 Nov 2014
3

Bubble-licious: Good times here again for UK tech startups – research

The level of venture capitalist (VC) investment being pumped into UK and Irish tech companies is now "reminiscent" of the early 2000s, with funding for the third quarter of 2014 double that of a year ago, according to research.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

We have a winner! Fresh Linux Mint 17.1 – hands down the best

Review Linux Mint 17.1 is the first example of what the Mint project team can do when they're focused on their own system rather than on making the latest Ubuntu work with Mint.

Let's vote on breaking up Google, say MEPs with NO power to do any such thing

On Thursday this week, the European Parliament will vote on whether to break up ad and internet giants such as Google ... even though it has no real power to do so.
Jennifer Baker, 24 Nov 2014

HTML5 vs native: Harry Coder and the mudblood mobile app princes

HTML5 has offered salvation from the tyranny of apps for years, yet most mobile developers resolutely refuse to embrace the web. Despite HTML’s familiarity and promise of cross-device compatibility, native’s superior tooling and performance have convinced a generation of developers to go all in on native.
Matt Asay, 24 Nov 2014
The full Expedition 42 crew aboard the ISS
5

We come bearing caviar: ISS 'nauts arrive at station in SPAAACE

The latest members of the International Space Station's crew have arrived on board – and they come bearing gifts.
Cellular basestation antenna
6

IBM and Ericsson plot to deploy 5G. Never mind that it doesn't exist

Ericsson and IBM have announced a collaboration to jointly research phased-array antenna designs for 5G, which might prove interesting as nothing has yet been agreed on what 5G might involve.
Simon Rockman, 24 Nov 2014
management regulation1

Businessman takes Google to High Court to block online abuse from search results

The case of former Morgan Stanley banker Daniel Hegglin, who is attempting to compel Google to block anonymous abusive posts against him, opened in the High Court today.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Wannabe Bond villains who'd been planning a world-domination strategy involving sharks armed with a frikkin' lasers should be aware that Wicked Lasers has announced it's withdrawing its "horrendously dangerous" handheld death rays.
Lester Haines, 24 Nov 2014
Lenovo Yoga 2 13

Too 4K-ing expensive? Five full HD laptops for work and play

Product round-up The intense competition in the PC market means that you can now get some pretty decent laptops for less than £500. However, one common cost-cutting measure employed by most budget laptops is the use of a lower-res display – typically just 1366x768 pixels. Most likely these displays will still be called HD in the blurb, but that’s that because these panels easily accommodate 720p video – 1280 x 720 pixel resolution.
Cliff Joseph, 24 Nov 2014
AWS
7

Shaking that AAS: It's time for vendors to stop selling storage

Storagebod In the shower today, I thought back over a number of meetings with storage vendors I’ve had over the past couple of weeks. Almost without exception, they mentioned AWS and the other large cloud vendors as a major threat and compared their costs to them.
StorageBod, 24 Nov 2014
3

Gov.UK annual IT spend edges down... to £4.3 BEEELLION

Government IT costs edged down by 8.5 per cent across the nine biggest Whitehall spenders to £4.3bn for 2013/14 compared with the previous year.
Kat Hall, 24 Nov 2014

You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Security software outfit Avast are trying to figure out why the combination of recent Windows patches and updates to the latter company's software are breaking PCs.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
NASA's new Europa photo

NASA revisits Europa with modern image-processing software

NASA has re-issued a famous image of Jovian moon Europa, after subjecting it to “modern image processing techniques” for the first time.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
9

Sony quietly POODLE-proofs Playstations

Sony has patched the POODLE SSL vulnerability in its Playstation 3 and 4 gaming consoles.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
france
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Brit mobile firms in FOURPLAY TUSSLE – how very French of them

About 10 years ago, Faultline wrote a report on the economics of quad play. We hardly sold any (about 20), and the reason was, one of our resellers told us, was that “quad play” was old hat.
Faultline, 24 Nov 2014

'Regin': The 'New Stuxnet' spook-grade SOFTWARE WEAPON described

A highly advanced malware instance said to be as sophisticated as the famous Stuxnet and Duqu has has been detected. "Regin" has security researchers opining it may be nastier than both.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
Concept pic of the Intermediate eXperimental Vehicle during re-entry. Credit: ESA

ESA's spaceplane cleared for lift-off in February 2015

Arianespace has put the launch of its IXV spaceplane back on the schedule, announcing a February 2015 date for the flight.

Cloud unicorns are extinct so DiData cloud mess was YOUR fault

Last July, Dimension Data's Australian cloud went down for over 24 hours. Now the company says its assessment of the incident found those who suffered the most had themselves to blame, to a degree.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
padlock
7

Crypto protocols held back by legacy, says ENISA

The EU Agency for Network Information and Security (ENISA) has updated its 2013 crypto guidelines, designed to help developers protect personal information in line with EU law, and has sternly told crypto designers they're doing it wrong, in two reports released late last week.
WordPress

DEATH by COMMENTS: WordPress XSS vuln is BIGGEST for YEARS

An estimated 86 per cent of WordPress websites harbour a dangerous cross-site scripting (XSS) hole in the popular comment system plugin, in what researcher Jouko Pynnonen calls the most serious flaw in five years. The bug could provide a pathway for attacking visitors' machines.
Darren Pauli, 24 Nov 2014
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence
4

Turnbull: Box-huggers are holding back cloud

Dimension Data has announced it will soon offer a government-only cloud hosted in Australia's capital city, Canberra.
Simon Sharwood, 24 Nov 2014
cloud
1

OIF and ONF to co-operate on standards

The Optical Internetworking Forum (OIF) has started work on APIs for the software-defined networking era.
Sandworm vulnerability logo
5

SandWorm thrived thanks to botched MSFT patch says HP

Microsoft had a chance to crush the SandWorm bug before it crawled out of the dunes, but botched the job, says HP.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Nov 2014

Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Poll Vulture Weekend brings you this poll, after Reg reader Cassie got in touch to tell us about a really neat timeline depicting the evolution of robots in film.
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
Google and Microsoft

Frisky patent WAR: Samsung seeks to BLOCK Nvidia graphics chips from US market

Samsung Electronics's battle with chip maker Nvidia deepened on Friday, after the South Korean outfit filed a complaint with the US International Trade Commission.
Team Register, 23 Nov 2014
Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) in The Fifth Element
5

The Genome: Loose morals ... and even looser plotlines

Page File The Genome is the latest novel from Sergei Lukyanenko, the sci-fi and fantasy author, and now modern Russian figurehead for the genre since his Night Watch novel was made into one of the few Russian movies to cross over to Western blockbuster status.
Files

'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

IP address-matching powers for police and spooks are to be pushed through Parliament with the blessing of the junior member of the UK's Coalition government, after the Liberal Democrats claimed today that the Snoopers' Charter was "dead".
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
Angry woman on mobile

Everything your users ever need to know about BYOD

Back in the old days providing your employees with corporate computer equipment was an expensive business. When I was 19 I was the university holidays PC guy in an office full of RPG III developers; the fact that they thought their System/38 with its 5250 terminals was a pretty neat piece of kit was the only reason they didn't envy the spanking new IBM PS/2 Model 80 under my desk.
Dave Cartwright, 23 Nov 2014
Dyson DC58 Animal

Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners

Product round-up The DIY market for power drills cracked going cordless years ago, but for domestic heavyweights such as an affordable vacuum cleaner, tripping over a six-metre mains cable has been a weekend tradition for most UK households. Really, how much R&D does it take to get a good cordless vacuum cleaner? Is the wait over yet? El Reg's domestic goddess Jennifer Newton finds out.
Jennifer Newton, 23 Nov 2014
Toilet

The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS

This is an article that some readers, particularly those of a fainter-hearted disposition, might want to avoid. It’s about a big movement that some people might find a tad distasteful.
heart.germany

Get a job in Germany – where most activities are precursors to drinking

The eXpat files In Germany, employers are keen on certifications, the money's good and if you want to, you can spend weekends rolling wheels down country lanes.
Darren Pauli, 23 Nov 2014

BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity

Worstall @ the Weekend I often wonder why it is that people bother publishing “research” papers that are obviously incorrect. Is it that they're getting paid to spout bollocks?
Tim Worstall, 23 Nov 2014