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The Week in Summary

Firefox OS RHS teaser

Cheapo Firefox OS mobes to debut in India – definitely not one for selfie-conscious users

The Mozilla Foundation's aim to create a Firefox OS for mobile devices was not to take a quixotic tilt at the top end of the smartphone market. Instead, it hoped to provide an alternative that would enable the delivery of low-cost, but still smart, devices to places where smartphones are still a significant purchase.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Aug 2014
OLPC XO3 tablet solar cover small

Google gobbles Fitbit whiz Gecko Design to strengthen those things that don't shift ads

Google has bought up Gecko Design, the industrial design house behind products like the One Laptop Per Child PC and Nike's Fitbit.
Iain Thomson, 23 Aug 2014
Blackmail image

Stiffed by Synolocker ransomware crims? Try F-Secure's python tool

Security firm F-Secure has released a tool to decrypt data scrambled by the Synolocker malware – assuming you've obtained the decryption key from the crooks.
Simon Sharwood, 23 Aug 2014
Amosu gold iPhone
1

iPhone owners EARN MORE THAN YOU says mobile report

The average iPhone app user makes nearly double the mean US annual wage.
Shaun Nichols, 23 Aug 2014
FCC logo

FCC not quite sold on Comcast TWC gobble

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) is requesting more information from cable giant Comcast on its planned acquisition of Time Warner Cable (TWC).
Shaun Nichols, 22 Aug 2014
5

Red Hat: ARM servers will come when people crank out chips like AMD's 64-bit Seattle

LinuxCon 2014 It's practically a given that the ARM processor architecture – so beloved by makers of small devices everywhere – will graduate to servers soon. But before ARM servers can ship in any significant volume, a standardized hardware platform that specifically targets the data center is a must.
Neil McAllister, 22 Aug 2014
The Black Knight
7

Forrester says it's time to give up on physical storage arrays

The storage industry knows that the market for physical arrays is in decline. Cheap cloud storage and virtual arrays have emerged as cheaper and often just-as-useful alternatives, making it harder to justify the cost of a dedicated array for many applications.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2014
Google car

Pedals and wheel in that Google robo-car or it's off the road – Cali DMV

Google's driverless car that eschews a steering wheel and pedals has hit a legal road bump in California.
Iain Thomson, 22 Aug 2014
quasar map
1

YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Intel, HyTrust geo-fence wandering virty servers

VMworld 2014 Intel and HyTrust have teamed up to build software that can control where in the world your virtual machines are allowed to run.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2014
1

Citrix says reports of XenServer's death are greatly exaggerated

When the mages at Gartner gave the world their most recent view of the x86 virtualization market, the firm offered unkind words about Citrix's prospects in the market.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2014
Back of iPhone 5

Trundle, trundle, FLEEEP: iPhone 6 production grinds to halt

The production of Apple's iPhone 6 has reportedly hit a major snag after the redesign of a screen component caused a supply shortage.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 2014
Swiss Cow

Street-beating Brocade bounces back

Storage networking biz Brocade has bounced back from its disappointing and loss-making second quarter results with third quarter profits and a revenue rise.
Chris Mellor, 22 Aug 2014
5

Jarvis versus Jarvis: Don't DISRUPT the DISRUPTION GURU!

Comment Thin-skinned media “guru” Professor Jeff Jarvis is furious about the acclaimed satirical Twitter account created by an English ex-pat techie in his name, which has built up a cult following. Jarvis claims his satirical alter-ego is damaging his reputation.
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Aug 2014
6

Renegade NSA, GCHQ spies help fix Tor vulns, claims project chief

GCHQ and NSA cyber-spies privately report vulnerabilities in Tor so they can be patched, says a leading developer of the anonymity-preserving software.
John Leyden, 22 Aug 2014
The US version of our LOHAN logo

LOHAN Kickstarter campaign IS GO!

We're excited to announce that the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) Kickstarter campaign, which will fund the relocation of our audacious ballocket mission launch to Spaceport America, is now live.
Lester Haines, 22 Aug 2014
Echopraxia by Peter Watts

Echopraxia scores 'diamond cutter' on the sci-fi hardness scale

Page File There’s hard sci-fi and then there’s the likes of Peter Watts’ Echopraxia, a book that should come with its own scientific reference library to aid reading. Usually, being a fan of science-heavy writing and having a smattering of real-world knowledge is enough to unlock a hard sci-fi world – you just kind of lean back and let the science wash over you. You might only understand one in every five concepts, but you glean enough to work out what’s going on in general.
Cheap LG androids
5

LG takes on Nokia X, Moto G: These are the cheapie 'droids you've been looking for

Nokia's X and Motorola's G now have two new rivals to compete for the reals, pesos and quetzals as LG targets emerging markets with landfill Androids.
Simon Rockman, 22 Aug 2014
Racehorse

Fujitsu flasher pleases data-intensive divas – SPC-1 benchmark

If you need cheap storage array IOPS and lots of them, Fujitsu's DX600 S3 array can deliver those goods – at least according to an SPC-1 benchmark.
Chris Mellor, 22 Aug 2014
Cloud security image
8

Microsoft parts Azure cloud, reveals NoSQL doc database

Microsoft has slipped out DocumentDB for Windows Azure, the company’s first-ever non-relational database – and its first new database product since SQL Server.
Gavin Clarke, 22 Aug 2014
blue screen of death
6

'Video on internet may not be entirely truthful': Times headline

QuoTW This was the week when the infamous and terrifying Blue Screen of Death made its return to Windows systems. Folks who said yes to Microsoft’s 40 updates for Internet Explorer, Windows 7 and Windows 8 Pro were left tearing their hair out when the patches started bricking their machines. People had believed, or at least hoped, that the BSOD was a thing of the past, but now here they were, back on the forums, once more seeking a fix for an unknown bug… One cried:

Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole

Hats must be tipped today in tribute to Brit balloon bod Leo Bodnar, whose ultralight B-64 payload is about to complete its second circumnavigation of the planet.
Lester Haines, 22 Aug 2014

The Register Monopoly Pubcrawl Mobile Map: VODAFONE WINS VOICE

Special Report Check out the Register's interactive mobile coverage Monopoly map (voice only for now) right here.
Simon Rockman, 22 Aug 2014

LOHAN gets laughing gear round promotional mug

As we reported yesterday, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team has scrapped plans to launch the Vulture 2 spaceplane above Europe and is instead taking its audacious ballocket mission to Spaceport America in New Mexico.
Lester Haines, 22 Aug 2014

Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'

Steven Spielberg is reportedly working on a Minority Report TV series.
Team Register, 22 Aug 2014

Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Weekend Big Data Project For long ages past, the sages of the internet have debated one of the knottiest questions of modern times, namely: Who would win in a fight - pirates, or ninjas?
Lewis Page, 22 Aug 2014
Micron 128-gigabit multi-level cell NAND Flash memory device
2

HP lets the SAN shine: StoreVirtual now bigger, flashier, OpenStack-ier

HP has added lots of features to its StoreVirtual software SAN, announced a lower-cost all-flash 3PAR array and provided cheaper backup for remote offices.
Chris Mellor, 22 Aug 2014
Bitcoins
6

Brainboxes caught opening Bitcoin fraud emails. Seriously, guys?

Cybercrooks have launched a phishing campaign targeting Bitcoin users – and it's enjoying high response rates despite the seemingly random spraying of corporate email addresses with the spam-based scam.
John Leyden, 22 Aug 2014
BrickArms' Toy taliban figure

True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

One in four Brits could be facing imminent arrest by the Metropolitan Police after apparently falling foul of the boys in blue's astonishing new definition of a terrorist.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 2014
Liz Lowe with Golden Orb-Weaver

BAT-GOBBLING urban SPIDER QUEENS swell to ENORMOUS SIZE

If you're a city-dweller who thinks spiders have gotten bigger over your lifetime, you might just be right, according to boffins from Sydney University.
puppet labs conference pic - copyright Puppet labs
2

WIN: Your passport to PuppetConf 2014

Reg Offer Just over a month to go until PuppetConf 2014, the fourth annual user conference run by Puppet Labs. Wanna come along?
David Gordon, 22 Aug 2014
Netflix on TiVo

TV transport tech, part 2: From sofa to server at the touch of a button

Feature These days telly addicts are spoilt for choice with a wealth of services on offer, but what’s behind it all? To find out, The Register was given exclusive access to Virgin Media’s Central Headend – the mothership of its TV services across the UK.
Bob Dormon, 22 Aug 2014
Clouds_and_sun
1

Biz data botherer CommVault slips out fresh do-it-all bundle

CommVault has added additional AWS and Azure support and reveals easier, more targeted ways to buy its all-singing, all-dancing backup/archive/data management product Simpana 10.
Chris Mellor, 22 Aug 2014
diaspora

ISIS terror fanatics invade Diaspora after Twitter ban

Medieval terror bastards ISIS have moved from Twitter to the non-profit social network Diaspora to spew their cant – and apparently nothing can be done to stop them.
Iain Thomson, 22 Aug 2014
heart.chile

Claim: Microsoft Alt-F4'd Chilean government open-source install bid

Microsoft successfully lobbied against a law that would have seen Chile's government adopt open-source software, says Elmostrador, a newspaper in the South American nation.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2014
Monkey Selfie

US Copyright Office rules that monkeys CAN'T claim copyright over their selfies

The US Copyright Office has refused to register the copyright of the infamous selfie taken by a monkey.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Aug 2014
Precog Minority Report
2

Security precogs divine web vulnerabilities BEFORE THEY EXIST

Wayback is way ahead: Three million webpages are set to become hacker fodder according to research that could predict what websites will become vulnerable ahead of time.
Darren Pauli, 22 Aug 2014

Football legend Gary Lineker in TWITTER POO TROLL SCANDAL

Gary Lineker is a celebrated footballer, telly host and crisp salesman. But it turns out that on the internet, what he's really remembered for is taking a big poo on the pitch during the 1990 Italia World Cup.
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 2014
Plasma ball

TRANSMUTATION claims US LENR company

Yet another set of astonishing claims is being made for yet another “low energy nuclear reactions” (LENR) technology.
Emiland De Cubber's alternative PRISM logo

Facebook needs to defend Austrian privacy violation case

Privacy activist Max Schrems, leader of the “Europe-versus-Facebook” movement, has had a procedural win in Austria that means Facebook Ireland has to prep its defence.

Don't even THINK about copyright violation, says Indian state

In a move that has garnered little notice beyond India, the Government of Karnataka state early in August passed laws allowing it to pre-emptively arrest copyright suspects.
cloud

SDN? More like $$$DN: Sales to soar from $1bn today to $8bn by 2018

Analyst outfit IDC has gazed into its crystal balls and decided software-defined networking (SDN) will bring US$8bn through the door in 2018, a fund-manager-gratifying increase over the $960m it will account for in 2014.
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2014
Nvidia
3

ARM64 gets better GPU support in CUDA release

NVIDIA has launched the next upgrade to its parallel computing and programming platform, with CUDA 6.5 going live as a production release.
NASA Image - Ozone Hole

Carbon tetrachloride releases still too high, says NASA

Somewhere, a dry cleaner didn't get the memo: someone is putting an awful lot of carbon tetrachloride into the atmosphere, and NASA would like them to stop.
Evil Android

Slurp passwords and other data from apps? Of course you can on Android

Researchers presenting at the Usenix conference have lifted the lid on yet another Android vulnerability: the way apps use memory can be exploited to leak private information with a success rate “between 82 and 92 per cent of the time”.
John Legere
6

Cult of T-Mob US wants you to INDOCTRINATE your friends and family

T-Mobile US has promised a year's free mobile data for subscribers who convince friends and family to join its network.
Shaun Nichols, 22 Aug 2014
1

AWS levels up in game of government security – and now one step below classified access

Amazon Web Services (AWS) has leveled up its US government security certification, winning the right to handle more sensitive work from the Department of Defense (DoD).
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
Photo of the White House at dusk

Obama's healthcare.gov savior says: 'No suits please, we're techies'

The incoming head of the newly formed US Digital Service – a crack sysadmin force to fix government IT systems – has said his team are focused less on looking smart and more on serious coding.
Iain Thomson, 21 Aug 2014
Bitcoins

Your Bitcoins aren't money – but it is barter, so we'll tax it, ta ... says Australia's taxman

The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) has issued its official assessment of Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies – and decided it isn't money but can be taxed.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
Tesla Model S
9

Tesla: YES – We'll build a network of free Superchargers in Oz

Tesla has confirmed to The Register that a network of its Supercharger stations is planned for Australia after its Model S arrives, later in 2014.
Source: Simply Smile Photography by Georgia Stephenson
4

Come up with some 'novel cloud' boffinry, grab $20m from US govt

The US government's National Science Foundation has handed out $20m in funding for two big new cloud computing research projects.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko

What a pain in the mass! Euro craft Rosetta to poke its probe in 10-BILLION-tonne comet

Vid The European Space Agency's Rosetta probe has made the first measurement of the mass of the comet it's chasing – and has come up with a mass of 10 billion tonnes, plus or minus 10 per cent.
Iain Thomson, 21 Aug 2014
NBN Co logo

NBN Co claims 96 mbps download speeds for FTTN trial

NBN Co, the entity building Australia's National Broadband Network (NBN), has revealed the data transfer speeds obtained by folks connected to its test fibre—to-the-node network in the New South Wales Central Coast suburb of Umina.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
Facebook security

Facebook slings $50k Internet Defense Prize™ at bug hunter duo

Facebook and Usenix have together created the Internet Defense Prize™ – and awarded its first gong to security bods Johannes Dahse and Thorsten Holz.
Darren Pauli, 21 Aug 2014
Toshiba Encore Windows 8.1 tablet

Microsoft refuses to nip 'Windows 9' unzip lip slip

Microsoft is putting on its poker face amid growing rumors that it plans to unveil "Windows 9" at the end of next month.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Aug 2014
VMwareJapan
8

VMware vaporises vCHS hybrid cloud service

VMworld 2014 A little secret: The Reg's stalwart team of sub-editors are no fans of VMware – because its practice of using two capitals for VMware but one capital for products like vSphere is the kind of thing that does their pedantic heads in.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
4

Cyber spies whip out 'Machete', stride towards Latin America

Security watchers are tracking a new cyber-espionage campaign that appears to be targetting Latin American countries including Venezuela, Colombia and Ecuador.
John Leyden, 21 Aug 2014
Homer Simpson reading on PC

Get ready: The top-bracket young coders of the 2020s will be mostly GIRLS

The latest GCSE results have shown that more girls are getting top marks at computing - while fewer boys are getting an A*.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Aug 2014
Light at the end of the tunnel. Credit: Smabs Sputzer
2

HP Storage results: Gloomy, but there's light at the end of the tunnel

Comment HP storage emulated HP's latest overall quarterly results, with both good news and bad news, but the gloom overwhelmed the gleam.
Chris Mellor, 21 Aug 2014

Déjà vu: Virgin Media jacks up broadband prices

Virgin Media is once again hiking up the price of its broadband service, while at the same time championing its cable network.
Kelly Fiveash, 21 Aug 2014
8

Linux duo land $54m VC Xamarin cash bag

Two leading lights in open source and mobile have landed $54m in funding for their company.
Gavin Clarke, 21 Aug 2014
Windows 8.1 update 1 power search

Microsoft: We plan to CLEAN UP this here Windows Store town

Microsoft has promised to crack down on rogue apps in its Windows Store following criticisms that the marketplace is littered with "scam" software.
John Leyden, 21 Aug 2014

Death by 1,000 cuts: Mainstream storage array suppliers are bleeding

Comment Great beasts can be killed by a 1,000 cuts, bleeding to death from the myriad slashes in their bodies – none of which, on their own, is a killer. And this, it seems, is the way things are going for big-brand storage arrays, as upstarts slice away at the market with converged systems, virtual SANs, all-flash kit, hybrid devices, object storage, software-defined storage and the cloud.
Chris Mellor, 21 Aug 2014
workman in high vis jacket bent over, super-imposed on cloud background
8

Go on, inhale our G-Cloud via 'Digital Marketplace' – UK.gov

Public sector organisations in the UK will be able to buy cloud-based IT products and services from suppliers from a new online platform from the end of the month.
OUT-LAW.COM, 21 Aug 2014
Bones, Kirk and Spock prepare to transport in Star Trek
4

TELEPORTABLE storage? Atlantis Computing's PR bods jump the shark

Altantis Computing has come up with a rather neat marketing hook for its new USX device. Fancy getting your hands on teleport-enabled storage?
Chris Mellor, 21 Aug 2014
Nokia Asha 501

Microsoft ropes in Opera Mini as default Nokia dumbphone browser

Opera will provide the browser for Microsoft's last dumbphones, under a new agreement between the two companies.
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Aug 2014
A fake iPhone with electric shock capabilities

Just in case? Unverified 'supersize me' iPhone 6 pics in sneak leak peek

New pictures have surfaced that purport to show the casing for a new super-sized iPhone 6.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Aug 2014
Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 9M-MRO

Chinese hackers spied on investigators of Flight MH370 - report

Malaysian officials investigating the disappearance of flight MH370 have been targeted in a hacking attack that resulted in the theft of classified material.
John Leyden, 21 Aug 2014
Our LOHAN mission patch design

LOHAN packs bags for SPACEPORT AMERICA!

The traditional portentous drumroll and fanfare of trumpets has added timpani and a throbbing bass synth crescendo today as we announce that the planned launch of our our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission has been relocated to New Mexico's Spaceport America.
Lester Haines, 21 Aug 2014
GCHQ Benhall doughnut aerial view

Hear ye, young cyber warriors of the realm: GCHQ wants you

Spooks have called upon the good people of Blighty to help protect an airline from attack by a vicious group of nerdy cyber-terrorists.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Aug 2014
Testing at Marble Arch

Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Special Report In January I was in the pub with Richard, an old school friend I hadn’t seen for 30 years and whom I was keen to impress. Then he asked one of those seemingly simple questions. “Simon,” he said. “You’ll know which 4G network I should be on”.
Simon Rockman, 21 Aug 2014
4

It's ALIVE: Unstructured data upstart whips out data-AWARE array

Stealth exit startup DataGravity has introduced a hybrid flash/disk array with rich metadata recording and reporting functions for file creation, keyword content, content change and access, as well as data protection functions and collaboration help.
Chris Mellor, 21 Aug 2014

Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Review Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3.0 tablet sees its UK release on 28 August. But why is the Surface fondleslab called Surface?
Tim Anderson, 21 Aug 2014
padlock

Boffins propose security shim for Android

An international group of researchers believes Android needs more extensible security, and is offering up a framework they hope either Google or mobe-makers will take for a spin.
LG’s Bluetooth Magic Remote

RealVNC distances itself from factories, power plants, PCs hooked up to password-less VNC

A scan of the public internet by security researchers has seemingly revealed thousands upon thousands of computers fully accessible via VNC – with no password required.
John Leyden, 21 Aug 2014
Flytrap

New twist as rogue antivirus enters death throes

A rogue anti-virus program called Defru has taken to the browser to find a smarter way of infecting users, Microsoft researchers say.
Darren Pauli, 21 Aug 2014

Apple's iWatch? They cannae do it ... they don't have the POWER

Tech analyst Ming-Chi Kuo, who has a decent track record on Apple production issues, has risked breaking the hearts of fanbois everywhere with the prediction that the iWatch might not be released until next year.
Jasper Hamill, 21 Aug 2014
2

Amazon flicks switch on CloudFront security features

Amazon has beefed up security on its CloudFront services, adding Perfect Forward Secrecy, OCSP stapling and session tickets to its SSL support.
channel_partners_deal_handshake
6

Microsoft, Google link arms on browser vid chat

A standard proposal to get voice/video chats into standard browsers has brought Microsoft and Google onto the same side of the table.
cloud
5

VMware buys CloudVolumes to speed app installations

VMware has bought itself a pre-VMWorld snack, in the form of application delivery outfit CloudVolumes.
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
Android

Slapdash SSL code puts tons of top Android Play Store apps in hack peril

Sloppy programming, poor patching, and unreliable trust engines are rife within Android apps, according to a new study. In short, millions smartphone users are potentially wide open to man-in-the-middle attacks, it's claimed.
Iain Thomson, 21 Aug 2014
Microsoft-themed Monopoly board

Microsoft exits climate denier lobby group

After a year of participating in the American Legislative Exchange Council, Microsoft has decided that even tangential alignment with a high-profile oil-funded lobby is not what it wants.
6

Storage, chip slingers pledge allegiance to Linux, open source

LinuxCon 2014 As LinuxCon 2014 kicks off this week in Chicago, the Linux Foundation has announced that it has won new support from across the technology industry, including several hardware companies.
Neil McAllister, 21 Aug 2014
HP
8

Pull up! Pull up! Pull up! Ding ... HP ends eleven-quarter sales nosedive

Think of HP, and what comes to mind? Business critical systems? Printers? Software? Lord no – it's laptops and bog-standard servers ruling the company's roost right now.
Shaun Nichols, 21 Aug 2014
balaclava_thief_burglar

Did you swipe your card through one of these UPS Store tills? You may have been pwned

UPS has discovered an outbreak of debit and credit-card-reading malware in 51 of its branches in the US.
Stuxnet

Oi! Rip Van Winkle: PATCH, already

Nearly 20 million computers remain infected with malware targeting a vulnerability first targeted four years ago by the Stuxnet worm.
Darren Pauli, 20 Aug 2014
2

Hi-ho EVO: VMware eyes TWO new hardware-flavored trademarks

VMworld 2014 VMware applied for two more hardware-related trademarks this month, it has emerged.
Team Register, 20 Aug 2014
traffic light hacking

Need a green traffic light all the way home? Easy with insecure street signals, say researchers

Criminals monkeying with traffic lights are a staple of cinema: the 1969 Italian Job and Luc Besson's Taxi are particularly fine examples. Now researchers have demonstrated that fact is much less glamorous – and simpler – than fiction.
Iain Thomson, 20 Aug 2014
Netflix streaming service screenshot on Samsung

Netflix swallows yet another bitter pill, inks peering deal with TWC

Netflix has inked yet another peering deal with a major US telco, this time signing an interconnect agreement with Time Warner Cable.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014
Robot wearing mortar board and brandishing certificates

Linux Foundation says many Linux admins and engineers are certifiable

LinuxCon 2014 The Linux Foundation on Wednesday introduced two new certification programs aimed at connecting employers with qualified Linux administrators and engineers.
Neil McAllister, 20 Aug 2014
Cyborg moth

Boffins build CYBORG-MOTHRA but not for evil: For search & rescue

Video Scientists at North Carolina State University in the US have implanted electrodes in a developing moth to closely observe and remotely control the creature's flight.
Iain Thomson, 20 Aug 2014
Galaxy Tab 4 Nook

Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please

The lovechild of bookseller Barnes & Noble and electronics giant Samsung – the new Galaxy Tab 4 Nook tablet – is now on sale.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014
MICA aurora borealis probe small1

Speedy software upstart PernixData showered in gold by expectant VCs

VMware hypervisor-caching software startup PernixData is gorging on cash from VCs as it ramps up development and its go-to-market efforts.
Chris Mellor, 20 Aug 2014
7

Samsung bags second Internet of Home Stuff home firm in a week

Samsung has announced its second smart home slurp in a week with the acquisition of heating, ventilation and air conditioning distributor Quietside.
PLatform9 home page
3

WTH? Upstart stuffed with ex-VMware bods grilled on Amazon cloud 'rescue' plan

Interview Willem ter Harmsel recently spoke with the CEO of a firm started up by several former VMware staffers, Platform9. Here he grills the startup's co-founder about VMware, the new business and its go-to-market plans.

Stand clear! Will HTC's One act as a defibrillator for Windows Phone?

Analysis HTC gave Microsoft a huge PR coup yesterday during the New York unveiling of the most stylish Windows Phone ever made. Redmond could certainly use some good news right now.
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Aug 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car

Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?

A Register reporter has been let away with a slap on the wrist after confessing to what the cops claim is an act of terrorism.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Aug 2014

Felony charges? Harsh! Alleged Anon hackers plead guilty to misdemeanours

Four hackers in the US have pleaded guilty to misdemeanours after a judge questioned why prosecutors were attempting to press felony charges.
Carpenters_workbench
1

Can it be true? A BIG DATA benchmark? Yes, says TPC

Up until now there hasn't been an objective or standard way of comparing different suppliers' big data systems performance. The Transaction Processing Council (TPC) is remedying that with its TPCx-HS benchmark.
Chris Mellor, 20 Aug 2014
The Burj Dubai at a modest 96 stories earlier this year. Photo: Emaar

Apple to build WORLD'S BIGGEST iStore in Dubai

Apple is planning to build the world's biggest iStore in Dubai - marking the first time it has opened a retail store in the Middle East.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Aug 2014
7

I don't see dead people: Twitter to nix some images of deceased folk

Twitter users whose loved ones have recently died can now submit requests for the removal of distressing photos and videos of the deceased to the micro-blogging company.
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Aug 2014

Heartbleed implicated in US hospital megahack

The Heartbleed flaw is responsible for the high-impact US hospital hacking attack disclosed this week, an unnamed investigator told Bloomberg.
John Leyden, 20 Aug 2014
big droplets falling from rain cloud
4

Citrix drizzles lightly and briefly on VMware's parade with Xen update

Citrix swears blind that the 7.6 release of XenApp and Xen Desktop it announced today had nuh-think at all to do with the fact VMware's VMworld colosso-conference kicks off on Sunday.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Aug 2014

UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

Blighty has announced another £1.6m in funding for its Internet of Stuff standard HyperCat, courtesy of the government’s Technology Strategy Board.
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

On the internet there are certain things you can be pretty sure of. Nubile young women lusting after you probably aren't (any of those things); free stuff almost certainly isn't free, and may not even be stuff; and after 5pm San Francisco time on Friday there probably won't be anything decent published on the Register until the Australian Vultures have had their first cup of coffee on Monday.
Lewis Page, 20 Aug 2014
Facebook drowning
5

Speaking in Tech: Meet the man who SURRENDERED to Facebook

Podcast Podcast This week in Speaking in Tech, your hosts Eddie Saipetch and Greg Knieriemen are flying solo while Sarah Vela is on holiday. Their special guest is Jeramiah Dooley, cloud architect at at SolidFire. They chat about HDS's Sepaton acquistion, mastering PR speak, Faecbook and more...
Team Register, 20 Aug 2014

Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media

Twitter and Facebook have taken steps to close down the accounts of militant Islamic State supporters after the publication of a video that appeared to show a man with a British accent "beheading" the American journalist James Foley.
Jasper Hamill, 20 Aug 2014
SanDisk_Ultra_II

Creaky PC? SanDisk gives users a NAND with speedy '3-bitter' SSD

SanDisk has pushed out an Ultra II SSD for retrofitting to PCs that uses lower cost 3-bits-per-cell NAND technology.
Chris Mellor, 20 Aug 2014

Brother, can you spare a DIME for holy grail of secure webmail?

Feature Lavabit founder Ladar Levison promised attendees at security conference DefCon that he'd carve out a secure messaging service from the wreckage of the email service favoured by rogue NSA sysadmin Edward Snowden within six months.
John Leyden, 20 Aug 2014
SteamOS installer splash screen gets psychedelic

The agony and ecstasy of SteamOS: WHERE ARE MY GAMES?

Game Theory Gamers' perception of Steam over the years has changed considerably. This digital distribution platform, which was developed by Valve, was met with derision when it launched back in 2004 – but jump forward 10 years and Steam is the coolest kid on the block. What self-respecting gamer doesn’t blow all their money on a Steam sale these days?
Lucy Orr, 20 Aug 2014

Look, no client! Not quite: the long road to a webbified Vim

Programming the Web, Pt. III The most revolutionary aspect of all the changes that have taken place in web development over the last two decades has been in the web browser.
SOURCE: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/959469

Wall Street woes: Oh noes, tech titans aren't using bankers

Worstall on Wednesday There was much astonishment over at the New York Times as it explained that the big Silicon Valley tech firms, the Googles, Apples, Facebooks, aren't using the traditional services of the Wall Street bankers as they make their acquisitions.
Tim Worstall, 20 Aug 2014
Xennet process
7

Xennet wants YOUR machines for tradable supercomputer cloud

A group called Xennet wants to create a blockchain-managed market in which users rent out their spare processor cycles for a closed-shop crypto-currency.
Stock ticker board

Power of iPhone 6 hype-gasm: Apple a sniff away from record stock high

Peak Apple Apple's stock today inched toward the company's record high as investors eager for new products pushed shares over $100 apiece.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014
Ruhr University's malware architecture

How to marry malware to software downloads in an undetectable way (Hint: Please use HTTPS)

Be thankful it's only a proof-of-concept of a hack: German researchers have shown that internet software distribution mechanisms can be turned into virus vectors, without modifying the original code.

Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Warbling '70s pop sensation Kate Bush has urged fans not to take photos and video footage during her upcoming London gigs, which will be the singer's first live tour in 35 years.
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Aug 2014
Azhdarchid pterosaurs

Gigantic toothless 'DRAGONS' dominated Earth's early skies

A new study by Russian paleontologists has revealed the dominance of a species of huge flying lizards that once flew over Earth's skies.
Iain Thomson, 20 Aug 2014
Haswell-E Motherboards
5

Intel's Haswell-E brain to emerge from the lab at end of August – reports

Intel has reportedly fixed a date to ship its octo-core Haswell-E processors and X99 Express chipset, with a Japanese outlet saying they will hit the shelves on August 29.
Mozilla Firefox
7

Lazy sysadmins rooted in looming Mozilla cert wipeout

Mozilla is about to revoke some weak X.509 PKI certs, and has warned sysadmins that it will affect the Firefox browser and they'll need to assess their infrastructure.
Darren Pauli, 20 Aug 2014
The ELMOFO electric racer

'Leccy racer whacks petrols in Oz race

An Australian EV bearing the name ELMOFO has beaten petrol-powered competitors in an officially-sanctioned race – twice.
9

Uh, Obama? Did you miss a zero or two off Samsung's Chinese supplier 'fib' settlement?

Samsung Electronics America has agreed to settle with the US Department of Justice (DoJ) over claims the company lied about where its products were made.
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014
Terry Lovejoy's comet discovery
7

Astronomers scramble for obs on new comet

It's too early to be certain, but with confirmation of a new, possibly near-Earth comet slated for a pass in early January 2015, sky-watchers will be working hard to calculate just how close it's going to come.
VMware logo

VMware shuffles the executive deckchairs

VMware has made a round of new executive appointments.
Simon Sharwood, 20 Aug 2014

Cryptolocker flogged on YouTube

Cryptolocker is being flogged over YouTube by vxers who have bought advertising space, researchers Vadim Kotov and Rahul Kashyap have found.
Darren Pauli, 20 Aug 2014
Troll in cross hairs
9

Tech patent hoarder Intellectual Ventures to lose a fifth of its trolls

Notorious patent troll license enforcer Intellectual Ventures has fallen on hard times, it seems, with Bloomberg reporting mass layoffs at the company.
2

Rubber Ub' hub: Uber test-drives condoms, gift card, soap etc deliveries

Taxi app Uber is running drugstore deliveries to customers in the Washington DC area as part of a test to see if it can become more than an amateur cabbie collective.
Iain Thomson, 19 Aug 2014
Video

US TV stations bowl sueball directly at FCC's spectrum mega-sale

US television broadcasters are suing the FCC over the regulator's planned auction of TV spectrum space to mobile phone networks.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Aug 2014
The Blue Mosque in Istanbul
5

Dozens of COPS cuffed in Turkish Prime Minister's wiretap probe

Twenty-five more cops were arrested in Turkey on Tuesday amid a widening probe into wiretaps on the country's Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and other key officials.
John Leyden, 19 Aug 2014
HTC One M8

Microsoft and HTC are M8s again: New One mobe sports WinPhone

HTC has launched an M8 phone running Microsoft's latest Windows Phone OS – but only in the US and only for the Verizon network.
Iain Thomson, 19 Aug 2014

Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is today stepping down from the Windows giant's board of directors – just six months after he was succeeded by incoming chief exec Satya Nadella.
Chris Williams, 19 Aug 2014
Galileo, engraving by Samuel Sartain

Intel's Raspberry Pi rival Galileo can now run Windows

Windows fans can run their OS of choice on Intel’s counter to Raspberry Pi, courtesy of an Intel firmware update.
Gavin Clarke, 19 Aug 2014
1

'Fangless' activist investor chomps up chunk of Rackspace

A so-called "fangless" activist investor has increased its grip on OpenStack cloud cheerleader Rackspace, with a view to a possible sale.
Gavin Clarke, 19 Aug 2014
OneNote for Android

Eat up Martha! Microsoft slings handwriting recog into OneNote on Android

Microsoft has announced improvements to the mobile versions of its OneNote note-taking software, aimed particularly at those who prefer to do their jotting with a pen, rather than a keyboard.
Neil McAllister, 19 Aug 2014
A fake iPhone with electric shock capabilities

Apple analyst: fruity firm set to shift 75 million iPhones

Apple is set to flog some 75 million units of the new iPhone 6 by the end of the year, an analyst with a pessimism bypass has claimed.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 2014
Skyera Skyhawk all-flash array

Super-dense flasher Skyera gets new CEO, fills pockets

+Comment Skyera, the super-dense all-flash array startup, has acquired a new CEO at the same time as it scored an additional funding round from its strategic investors.
Chris Mellor, 19 Aug 2014
Stradivarius violin reproduction
1

Violin Memory FINALLY writes dedupe and compression into its latest Concerto

Violin Memory has fixed a gaping hole in its data management feature set by adding deduplication and compression to its Concerto memory array controller product.
Chris Mellor, 19 Aug 2014
Fight Night Champion

EE: STILL Blighty's best mobe network, says 'Frappucino' Moore

EE is still the best mobile network in the UK, but the others are catching up and Three is the one to watch.
Simon Rockman, 19 Aug 2014
AMD_R7_Series_SSD

AMD slaps 'Radeon' label on Tosh flash: >Beard stroke< Hmm, cunning ...

X86 CPU and Radeon graphics chipper AMD has come out with an SSD line using Toshiba/OCZ componentry.
Chris Mellor, 19 Aug 2014
Cliffs_of_Moher_Ireland
2

Nexenta reckons it has Edge in squeezing your object storage BLOB

Nexenta says its latest NexentaEdge software product delivers petabyte-scale block and object storage with inline deduplication.
Chris Mellor, 19 Aug 2014

UK government accused of hiding TRUTH about Universal Credit fiasco

A government body tasked with flagging up troublesome Whitehall projects has been accused of secrecy and ineptitude over its handling of the Department for Work and Pensions' widely panned Universal Credit programme.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Aug 2014
Call of Duty: Ghosts

Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio

Videogame kingpin Activision Blizzard is reportedly considering launching its own movie studio division to turn its games into films and TV shows.
European Union Flag

EU justice chief blasts Google on 'right to be forgotten'

Europe’s caretaker Commissioner for Justice says Google et al are trying to throw a spanner in the works of data protection.
Jennifer Baker, 19 Aug 2014
Apple Lisa

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

Steve Jobs was well known for the size of his cojones, but it turns out that his former employer Atari had even better balls than him.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 2014
Kindergarten Cop

Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media

In the past five years a surprisingly small number of police employees in England and Wales have been sacked, retired early or forced to resign in connection with serious cockups using social media.
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Aug 2014
Curiosity looks down the ramp at the northeastern end of Hidden Valley towards Mount Sharp

CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap

Curiosity, our favourite Mars-cruising nuclear truck, has just dusted off its latest potential drilling target, the “Bonanza King” rock.
Register Roundtable at the Soho hotel
8

CIOs: Want to hit your IT suppliers where it hurts?

Reg Events Some IT organisations seem to have their vendors just where they want them. The rest of us? Well, we’re not keen, and we’re starting to get mean.
Joe Fay, 19 Aug 2014

Apple takes blade to 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display

Review This is getting to be a habit. So far this year we’ve seen £100 lopped off the price of the updated iMac and MacBook Air, and now it’s the MacBook Pro’s turn to get the price-cut treatment.
Stephen Dean, 19 Aug 2014
Exablox_vid

Object storage bods Exablox: RAID is dead, baby. RAID is dead

Object storage supplier Exablox has provided a file interface to its OneBlox object store, which is basically a Drobo-style BYOD store - Bring Your Own Disks.
Chris Mellor, 19 Aug 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car

UK fuzz want PINCODES on ALL mobile phones

Exclusive The Metropolitan Police has spent more than two years lobbying phone manufacturers and the government in a bid to introduce mandatory passwords on every new unit sold in Blighty, The Reg has learned.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 2014
usb nuclear button hub

Nuke regulator hacked three times in three years

The US Nuclear Regulator Commission (NRC) has been hacked three times in as many years, according to documents obtained under freedom of information requests.
Darren Pauli, 19 Aug 2014
Tools

EnterpriseDB chucks devs free tools to craft NoSQL web apps with PostgreSQL

Enterprise-class PostgreSQL database vendor EnterpriseDB has launched a free turnkey development environment designed to make it easier for coders to build web applications using PostgreSQL's new NoSQL capabilities.
Neil McAllister, 19 Aug 2014
Azure icon

Microsoft: Azure isn't ready for biz-critical apps … yet

Microsoft's Service Deployment and Operations (SDO) team has detailed its scheme to modernise the company's own data centres and says that the result will be lots of – but not all – workloads in the cloud.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
This chicken is under attack [Click to enlarge]

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

After several millennia of global dominance, the human species is still uncertain about the motivations of those chickens that choose to cross the road.
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo
6

NSW to build federated ID management rig for staff, punters

The Australian State of New South Wales (NSW) will build a federated identity system – or “Identity Hub” - for its many thousands of staff and also for the State's citizens.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014

Things are looking up in Flappy Bird sequel

Game developer Dong Nguyen, the man behind Flappy Bird, has revealed the name and look of his next game.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
Three  UK Passports

e-Borders fiasco: Brits stung for £224m after US IT giant sues UK govt

Brit taxpayers face a £224m bill in cancellation fees after the UK government scrapped a £750m contract for a passenger-checking computer system at its borders.
Iain Thomson, 19 Aug 2014
Google UK office logos

Google to offer special accounts for kids: report

Google is reportedly investigating how it can offer accounts to children.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014

Think crypto hides you from spooks on Facebook? THINK AGAIN

Activists just got another reason to worry about what spooks might be able to learn about them, with boffins demonstrating that a decent traffic fingerprint can tell an attacker what's going on, even if an app is defended by encryption.
Rosetta

TRIANGULAR orbits will help Rosetta to get up close with Comet 67P

The European Space Agency (ESA) has revealed just how its Rosetta comet probe will close to within just 10km of comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
Nokia Car Mode

Xen to practice art of motor vehicle embedded development

The Xen Project has launched an “Embedded and Automotive Initiative” to take its virtualisation project under the hood.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
BlackBerry logo
3

BlackBerry slices off juiciest bits, bottles them in 'Tech Solutions'

BlackBerry has sliced off its juiciest bits and will preserve them in a new unit called “BlackBerry Technology Solutions” (BTS) that it hopes will deliver a jolt of growth.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
Google Self Driving Car

This'll end well: US govt says car-to-car jibber-jabber will SAVE lives

The US government wants to save lives on the road by demanding a safety-focused wireless communication standard for moving vehicles.
Shaun Nichols, 19 Aug 2014

Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

The German city of Munich, which famously adopted Linux and open source across its operations, may be about to reverse that decision.
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2014
Lock security
9

Linux kernel devs made to finger their dongles before contributing code

Beginning on Monday, the security of the Linux kernel source code has become a little bit tighter with the addition of two-factor authentication for the kernel's Git code repositories.
Neil McAllister, 18 Aug 2014
Aphex Twin
8

Tor-rorists get sneaky Aphex Twin album peek in dance guru hypegasm

Richard James, aka electronic music composer Aphex Twin, has been using the power of Tor to hype his new album – and to remind computer users about their own system's security.
Iain Thomson, 18 Aug 2014
Oculus Rift VR system prototype

Oculus sucked by Zuck? 'I'm over it' – Minecraft supremo Notch

The man behind Minecraft says he is warming to the virtual-reality headsets made by Facebook-owned Oculus – and backing off a threat to never port his world-building game to the Rift hardware.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Aug 2014
2

Symantec security chap signs for CSIRO's ICT In Schools

The Register's campaign to recruit 20 volunteers for CSIRO's ICT In Schools program is four-fifths of the way to its goal.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
Angry woman on mobile

MongoDB tosses support lifeline to open source downloaders

Open source NoSQL database vendor MongoDB has added a new support option for customers who want to run the Community Edition of its software in production environments.
Neil McAllister, 18 Aug 2014
usb-heated slippers

Microsoft Azure goes TITSUP (Total Inability To Support Usual Performance)

Updated Microsoft is struggling to sort out an Azure cloud outage that has today left users around the world unable to access various services.
Neil McAllister, 18 Aug 2014
medical_doctor_health_channel

'Chinese crims' snatch 4.5 MILLION patient files from US hospitals

One of the largest healthcare providers in the US claims Chinese hackers ran riot through its systems between April and June this year – accessing names, addresses and social security numbers of millions of patients.
Iain Thomson, 18 Aug 2014
iPhone forensics beaten image

iPhone 6 flip tip slips in Aussie's clip: Apple's 'reversible USB' leaks

Pic Apple is working on a new reversible USB plug for its next iPhone's charger cable, it's rumored.
Shaun Nichols, 18 Aug 2014

Class war! Wikipedia's workers revolt again

Wikipedia's workers are in uproar again, this time about the cash-rich Wikimedia Foundation giving itself "superpowers" to override community decisions.
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Aug 2014
bsodforwrap

The Return of BSOD: Does ANYONE trust Microsoft patches?

Patch early and patch often is the advice of security professionals when it comes to software updates.
Gavin Clarke, 18 Aug 2014
A dragon in Game of Thrones

Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

Brits are very concerned about the potential for life-threatening incidents involving dragon attacks, asteroid crashes and ghostly manifestations and they want their local council to do something about it, if their FoI requests are anything to go by.

Cargo truck crammed with garbage explodes IN SPAAAAACE

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station have turned the Earth's atmosphere into their own personal trash incinerator after sending a cargo truck packed with rubbish to its fiery death.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 2014

Germany 'accidentally' snooped on John Kerry and Hillary Clinton

Calls made by US secretary of state John Kerry and his predecessor Hillary Clinton were "accidentally" intercepted by German intelligence agencies, Der Spiegel reports.
John Leyden, 18 Aug 2014
Hallucigenia animation

Boffins ID freakish spine-smothered prehistoric critter: The CLAW gave it away

The surrealist nightmare worm Hallucigenia, so-called because of its otherworldly appearance and apparent lack of place on the taxonomic ranks, has finally found its place in evolutionary history... and even appears to have some modern-day descendants.
EMC's new Syncplicity apps
1

Oh SNAP, here comes Amazon: EMC drops prices for Syncplicity

EMC has made dramatic pricing and capacity changes to its Syncplicity product after Amazon has entered the market with its Zocalo services.
Chris Mellor, 18 Aug 2014
7

Google straps on Jetpac: An app to find hipsters, women in foreign cities

Google has bought Jetpac, an image-recognition app that uses Instagram photos to help travelers find what they’re looking for in cities – women or hipster moustaches, for example.
1

Code42 seeks channel partners for LTR, much TLC on offer

Startup Code42 offers data protection with file sync 'n' share. Both its customer count and channel partner numbers are booming - yet it needs to recruit another 300 partners by the end of the year.
Chris Mellor, 18 Aug 2014

Something's phishy: More holiday scam spam flung at real hotel customers

Updated Multiple customers at several hotels are getting hit up with a sophisticated phishing scam based on real hotel bookings. The latter all share the common factor of being made through Booking.com.
John Leyden, 18 Aug 2014

Twitter displays our 'Favorites'. That is, like, PRIVATE, huff naive users

Twitter has begun messing with its design by showing "Favorited" tweets in its timeline, much to the annoyance of some of the micro-blogging site's users.
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Aug 2014
Every time you use Internet Explorer, god kills a kitten

Take the shame: Microsofties ADMIT to playing Internet Explorer name-change game

Internet Explorer could be getting a new name as Microsoft tries to escape the browser’s troubled past.
Gavin Clarke, 18 Aug 2014

Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

Po-faced Facebook will slap "satire" tags on links shared by its users – to help users distinguish parody pieces from the real news.
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Aug 2014
Assange

Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

Head WikiLeaker Julian Assange™ has said he is planning to leave the Ecuadorian embassy "soon", but neglected to say exactly when.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 2014
HP CEO Meg Whitman

Reg man grills HP Software big cheese

Traditionally HP Software was seen by many of its business partners on the hardware side of the house – and by default some of their customers – as a fragmented portfolio of specialist applications amassed via acquisition.
Paul Kunert, 18 Aug 2014

TV transport tech, part 1: From server to sofa at the touch of a button

Feature Ah, the magic of television. With the press of a button and the twist of a knob, the residents of homes around the country could cosy up for an evening's entertainment as the set warmed up to a steady monochrome glow – with the lucky ones able to tune in to BBC 2.
Bob Dormon, 18 Aug 2014
5

HANA has SAP cuddling up to 'smaller partners'

Think "SAP and partners" and the mind goes to mega names – giants like Microsoft, Oracle and Fujitsu, Accenture and Deliotte.
Gavin Clarke, 18 Aug 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

Top money men face up to 2 YEARS in slammer for neglecting to spot crim-cash activity

Senior managers at "money service businesses" face up to two years imprisonment and an unlimited fine if their neglect leads to money laundering or terrorist financing activities, HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) has warned.
OUT-LAW.COM, 18 Aug 2014
The die of Oracle's SPARC M7 CPU

Oracle reveals 32-core, 10 BEEELLION-transistor SPARC M7

Oracle has revealed details of its next-generation SPARC CPU, the M7.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014

Ad regulator pulls down Branson-backed magic undies

The UK's Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has decided that Wireless Armour, which promises to protect your crown jewels from nasty WiFi signals, can't be advertised in Blighty.

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter and labelled Google worse than the NSA.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014

Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!

One in four Brits have admitted to splurging too much cash during drunken shopping sprees online, according to a new survey.
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 2014
1

EMC is shopping for Indian startups

EMC has revealed that it's set aside US$2.3 billion for acquisitions, and is tagging the startup sector in India as one target for its shopping expeditions.
Docker Red Hat

Docker kicks KVM's butt in IBM tests

IBM Research has run done a side-by-side comparison of the KVM hypervisor and containerisation enfant terrible Docker and found the latter “ equals or exceeds KVM performance in every case we tested.”
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
Privacy image
1

Irish credit unions in privacy breach

Irish credit unions are in the midst of a privacy storm, with that country's privacy watchdog accusing some institutions of trafficking in illegally-obtained data.
Malware
7

VXer fighters get new stealth weapon in war of the (mal)wares

A bare-metal analysis tool developed by University of California researchers promises to help tip the battle between virus writers and black hats by cloaking malware investigation efforts.
Darren Pauli, 18 Aug 2014
1

Ericsson to roll Ciena kit into Telstra

Ericsson's February 2014 agreement with Ciena has paid off in Australia, with the two to work on a major optical network upgrade for incumbent Telstra.
cloud
4

BizTalk-as-a-Service dog wags Microsoft's on-premises tail

Microsoft has signalled it will harmonise the feature set of the cloudy and on-premises versions of its BizTalk Server.
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
1990s-era submarine cable from Alcatel-TCC

Google's so smart it's discovered SHARKS HAVE TEETH

The world's submarine cables are subject to a brand-new threat: sharks.
Hacked sarcasm

Boffins find hundreds of thousands of woefully insecure IoT devices

More than 140,000 internet-of-things devices, from routers to CCTV systems contain zero-day vulnerabilities, backdoors, hard coded crackable passwords and blurted private keys, according to the first large scale analysis of firmware in embedded devices.
Darren Pauli, 17 Aug 2014
blue screen of death

Microsoft cries UNINSTALL in the wake of Blue Screens of Death™

Microsoft has urged users to remove a buggy update as it yanked download links to the offending patch, after reports emerged it caused the dreaded blue screen of death.
Darren Pauli, 17 Aug 2014