Videos

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Author fined $500k in first US spyware conviction

A US man has been handed a US$500,000 fine for selling the StealthGenie malware in the first prosecution of a mobile spyware slinger. Police collared Hammad Akbar, 31, in September after he allegedly sold the malware to an undercover agent in 2012. Akbar a Danish citizen, sold the StealthGenie malware capable of intercepting …
Darren Pauli, 30 Nov 2014
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Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

Vid Star Wars' fans have been treated to their first glimpse of episode seven of the movie franchise, after a trailer for The Force Awakens, directed by J.J. Abrams, was released on Friday. Youtube Video Opinions about the film's teaser have been mixed, with the latest lightsaber design being poorly received by some netizens. …
Team Register, 30 Nov 2014
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Some of the week's tech news in VIDEO EGG form!

Youtube Video Want this week's top tech news as read to you by a cynical little egg? Then tune in as our very own Regina Eggbert talks about that M-company's Chinese tax bill, Twitter telling us what we all should have known already and Steelie Neelie sobs as European net neutrality runs into trouble. To find out more about …
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Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film

Film Review The internet has fundamentally changed the way we interact with one another - but at the same time it, like, hasn't. That seems to be the message behind the cringey and contrived Men, Women and Children. Starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, Dean Norris, Judy Greer and Rosemarie DeWitt among others, this film is the latest " …
Kat Hall, 30 Nov 2014
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Holy sh*t! Amsterdam man in pop-up public toilet shock horror

RoTM A man in Amsterdam suffered minor injuries last night after a toilet emerging from the ground flipped a moped into the air, which then struck the victim. UriLift loos were installed in the wacky baccy Dutch city in an effort to stop blokes taking a slash in the streets. As this vid shows, the toilets appear to rise up from the …
Team Register, 29 Nov 2014
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Fiat 500X: A fun-loving Goldilocks who'll get down and dirty

Vulture at the Wheel The 1957 Fiat 500 was a macchinetta small car. It became a macchina car with the launch of the new 500 in 2007, and then with the 500L it became a macchinona; a big car. It has gone from 17hp and under 500kg to 120hp and 1.4 tonnes. The Fiat 500X The Fiat 500X: A Goldilocks car aimed at off-roading families. Well, not quite …
Simon Rockman, 29 Nov 2014
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Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Taking my place in the boardroom for the weekly “sit-down” meeting, I make a faux pas: I try to make polite conversation. In my defence, I claim temporary confusion due to a mix-up with the more casual weekly “stand-up” meeting, which is held in another room but otherwise attended by precisely the same people who are now sitting …
Alistair Dabbs, 29 Nov 2014
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Simplez: OLD SCHOOL TECH can SAVE the MEERKAT

Ever wondered who tried to steal your meerkat? Well, worry no longer thanks to the London Zoo, Google and CCTV biz Kinesense. During our review of Nominet and LoveHz use of TV whitespace to create a flood early warning system in Oxford, we stumbled across another test program in the works - the use of cameras to catch poachers …
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Nov 2014
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Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

Analysis It has been more than 100 years since the first wireless power systems were demonstrated and the principles are about as well-known as any in the technology field. While wireless networking has been the norm for over a decade, wireless power is still very much in its infancy and is years away from mass adoption. Last week, the …
Iain Thomson, 27 Nov 2014
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Megaupload overlord Kim Dotcom: The US HAS RADICALISED ME!

Vid Megaupload founder, wannabe politician and wanted man Kim Dotcom has spent all of his money trying to avoid extradition to the US to face online piracy charges. Youtube Video The internet entrepreneur told the unBound Digital conference in London yesterday that fighting the law and attempting to launch his political career had …
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NASA preps mission to probe Earth's magnetic mysteries

Video Next March, all going well, NASA will launch a bunch of spacecraft to try and unravel the mechanism of what's called magnetic reconnection, a process by which Earth's magnetic fields connect and disconnect. It's not only a question of fundamental science: during magnetic reconnection, there's an explosive release of energy that' …
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FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Sony will dish out cash and vouchers to PlayStation Vita gamers following allegations its ads for the handheld console were lies. Commissioners at US trade watchdog the FTC voted five to none to approve the refunds after it was claimed the toy's ad campaign in late 2011 and early 2012 was misleading. The Vita went on sale in …
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
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Mysterious BEAM outside London Googleplex ZAPPED

Vid Workmen are digging up the spot outside Google's London headquarters where a mysterious "beam" once made pedestrians' hair stand on end. Dotted around two freshly dug holes were small signs which said "beware: fibre optic cables" and the remnants of a police cordon. The holes were on the same spot where the odd force was …
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
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Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins

Vid After using a submersible robot to probe the frozen waters of Antarctica, climate and ecosystem scientists conclude its sea ice "may be thicker than previously thought." Youtube video of the Linux-powered sub in action "Our surveys indicate that the floes are much thicker and more deformed than reported by most drilling and …
Iain Thomson, 25 Nov 2014
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Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs

Pics and video SpaceX boss Elon Musk has been showing off steerable wings on his company's Falcon rocket booster – and a floating landing pad to catch the reusable craft out at sea. Musk revealed the tech in a series of tweets over the weekend. He said future builds of the Falcon rocket system would carry stabilizing tabs – dubbed "X-wings" – …
Iain Thomson, 24 Nov 2014
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NOW! It's news to us at Vulture Central

Vid Youtube Video The Reg serves up the highlights of this week with consummate ovoid avatar Regina Eggbert. This week, Regina fills us in on what's new with wearables, RBS's costly regulatory rap for 2012's massive IT meltdown and the crowdfunded British mission to the Moon. If you want more on this week's stories, click here, …
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What We Do In The Shadows? Laugh ourselves silly, mostly

Film Review It’s hard to believe that What We Do In The Shadows has been eight years in the making, given its spot-on, bang-up-to-date parody of both the vampire obsession and found footage/fake documentary style movies. The gang in What We Do In The Shadows (L-R)Vladislav, Viago, Petyr, Nick and Stu with Deacon above. Credit: What We Do …
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Ford's B-Max: Fiesta-based runaround that goes THUNK

Vulture at the Wheel This is the most sensible car you can buy. That's not necessarily a good thing. The Ford B-Max takes all the things you’d look for in practicality and turns them up to 11. However, in doing so it turns emotion down to zero. Look familiar? The Ford B-MAX is based on its Fiesta Look familiar? The Ford B-MAX is based on its Fiesta …
Simon Rockman, 22 Nov 2014
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I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Why are Volvos called Volvos? Because their drivers are cunts.” Youtube Video So pronounced one of my bosses in my student holiday job days, as he sat, Buddha-like, at the head of the baggage-handlers’ crew-room at Leeds-Bradford Airport, delivering his words of wisdom to a weary audience of one. I eventually learned that …
Alistair Dabbs, 22 Nov 2014
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Hey, it's ... Gecko man, Gecko man, does almost whatever a GECKO can

Vid A graduate student at Stanford has successfully climbed a 3.7-metre glass wall using a pair of super-sticky gloves modeled on the feet of gecko lizards. Youtube Video The kit was developed at the California university with funding from Uncle Sam's boffinry headquarters DARPA. The gloves are covered with 24 little sticky pads – …
Iain Thomson, 21 Nov 2014
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PayPal takes 18 months to patch critical remote code execution hole

Paypal has closed a remote code execution vulnerability some 18 months after it was reported. The flaws reported earlier this month rated critical by Vulnerability Lab affected a core Paypal profile application. "A system specific arbitrary code execution vulnerability has been discovered in the official in the official PayPal …
Darren Pauli, 21 Nov 2014
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You'll go APE for our new Gorilla Glass 4, Corning reckons

Corning has unveiled the fourth iteration of its Gorilla Glass – and claims the new see-through substance is twice as damage resistant as its previous version. It's also much better at surviving drops onto hard surfaces, apparently. Gorilla Glass version is used in the Apple iPhone and Samsung Galaxy lines, plus shedloads of …
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
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NXT: The first SPAAAACE cryptocurrency

It's fair to say that our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission has attracted a broad spectrum of sponsors, and among those who've climbed aboard is NXT, which aims to be the first cryptocurrency into space, or at least the stratosphere. NXT is a Bitcoin rival launched in 2013, "currently positioned at #5 by …
Lester Haines, 20 Nov 2014
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Slapnav: Looking for KINKY dark matter? Switch on the GPS!

Although our ancestors would have been amazed by GPS technology for the current generation it's pretty old hat. Nevertheless, scientists have come up with a new idea for using the network of positioning satellites that encircle our globe – the quest to find dark matter. In a paper published in the latest issue of Nature Physics …
Iain Thomson, 20 Nov 2014
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Greening the copper with NFV, lower power optics from GreenTouch

The GreenTouch group, which researches less power-hungry networking technologies, is pitching an NFV-style home gateway architecture as one way to curb broadband networks' appetite for electrons. The vendor-and-research partnership was set up in 2010, and now lists nearly 50 member organisations listed. Leading its latest …
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Countdown contestant pays homage to IT Crowd's Moss

In one of the world’s greatest self-referential in-jokes, Countdown contestant Danny Davies has worn a T-shirt commemorating the appearance of Maurice Moss on Countdown in an episode of The IT Crowd. Youtube Video Davies appeared on the show wearing a T-shirt that said “Good morning, that’s a nice TNETENNBA” in homage to Moss, …
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HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rockin' boffin Brian Cox

A UK nonprofit, funded via Kickstarter – and endorsed by famous rockstar TV boffin Brian Cox – aims to land a robot probe (a probot, as some call them) on the Moon: one with an unusual purpose. And the team is sure that if the mission is a success, there will be human DNA at the site. CGI image of Lunar Mission One on the Moon …
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GiffGaff spanked for clumsy attempt at mum-and-dad-humping humour

Vid GiffGaff has been admonished by the UK's advertising watchdog, after a publicity stunt backfired for being too fruity. The mobile network posted a video on Twitter that read: "The situations in our new videos are, well, awkward." The tweet also carried the NSFW (not safe for work) hashtag. The Advertising Standards Authority …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Nov 2014
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Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

Computer scientists at the University of New South Wales are teaching robots to rip apart computers for recycling. Of course, while it's easy to use a machine to disassemble something, their trick is to do it while preserving key components. Which isn't quite as easy as it sounds. The group, comprising researchers from UNSW's …
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Anonymous ‪hacks the Ku Klux Klan after Ferguson‬ threats

Hactivist collective Anonymous has taken out the websites and Twitter accounts of white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan following threats by a local chapter of the Klan against protestors in ‪Ferguson, Missouri. Tensions in Ferguson are high in the run-up to a ruling on whether criminal charges will be brought against a white …
John Leyden, 18 Nov 2014
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Nokia's N1 fondleslab's HIDDEN BRILLIANCE: The 'Z Launcher'

The Nokia Z launcher is what makes its new N1 tablet special. Youtube Video The UI has shades of iPad in its appearance but claims to be a whole lot cleverer. The basic appearance is minimalist, with only a few apps, contacts and website links displayed. The “Zee” launcher is a little like (boy, people are going to hate this …
Simon Rockman, 18 Nov 2014
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Vulture 2 spaceplane tumbles onto BBC World Service

We invite Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans to stick the kettle on, make a nice cuppa and enjoy a recent interview myself and Vulture 2 rocket motor wrangler Paul "Lord Shax" Shackleton did with Gareth Mitchell for the BBC World Service's Click. Good stuff, and we'd like to add that the Southampton Uni design boys …
Lester Haines, 18 Nov 2014
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NOKIA - Not FINNished yet! BEHOLD the somewhat DULL MYSTERY DEVICE!

Nokia is back in consumer electronics with an iPad rival, the new N1 tablet, just six months after Microsoft snorked up its phone division. The Finnish firm has said that many more devices will follow. Youtube Video The Atom-powered, Android-based, mini-sized N1 enters a crowded marketplace with a price tag of just $250. It's …
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Nov 2014
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NASA launches new climate model at SC14

After 75 days running on the 43,000-core, 1.21 petaflop Discover supercomputer cluster at the Goddard Centre for Climate Simulation, producing 4 PB of data, NASA has put together a global model showing how atmospheric carbon dioxide – CO2 – gets distributed in air currents around the world. Youtube Video The model is based on …
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Pre-digital computer 'cranks out' Fourier Transforms

Video A group of American engineers have rescued and returned to operation a Fourier-Transform-calculating machine designed in the 19th century. The machinery is an impressive reminder not only of what could be achieved in the pre-digital era, but also of the genius of its designer Albert Michelson, a name less-known to the general …
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BAD SANTA: Don't get ripped off this Christmas

Feature The season of horror and expense will soon be upon us, and with it lots of gift guides telling you what you should be forking out for. But before we get stuck into that, how you should buy it is just as important. Youtube Video As the recent collapse of Phones4U showed, even something as simple as choosing the wrong way to pay …
Nigel Whitfield, 16 Nov 2014
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NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums

Youtube Video This week, Regina talks about Facebook's new (non-unfriend) News Feed feature and its seemingly underused Messenger app, the surprisingly creepy Amazon Echo, and the Microsoft Lumia that is not (repeat not) a Nokia. Didn't get enough info from the talking egg? Click here, here, here or here for more. ® Regina …
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It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “We hit something the size of South London from ten years away.” Thus spake commentard Colin Ritchie the other day in response to The Register’s ongoing coverage of Rosetta’s extraordinary space odyssey. 2001: A Space Odyssey - The Monolith On The Moon The significance of such an achievement should not be underestimated. In the …
Alistair Dabbs, 15 Nov 2014
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I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

Vid A tearful Rosetta comet probe boffin has apologized after he appeared on camera wearing a shirt emblazoned with half-naked buxom women. Brit scientist Dr Matt Taylor wore the kinky attire during a live web video interview on Wednesday – as the world held its breath waiting for confirmation the Philae lander had made it to Comet …
Iain Thomson, 15 Nov 2014
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Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Walmart, that well-known purveyor of the finest America has to offer, will flog a $99 Windows 8 tablet for this year's Black Friday. Youtube Video As you'd expect at that price, the E Fun Nextbook is an utter dog: it has a 1.8GHz Intel Atom processor with 1GB of RAM – the bare minimum for Windows 8.1 to function. The tablet …
Iain Thomson, 14 Nov 2014
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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Cupertino design don Jony Ive has claimed that Apple is not out to make money - even though it does happen to be the most valuable company in the world. Speaking at an event at London's Design Museum last night, Ive also said that bad design was "offensive", and criticised design students for using, um, computers. "We've tried …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Nov 2014
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Exit the dragon: US govt blows $325m on China-beating 300PFLOPS monster computer

Vid The US government has chosen IBM and Nvidia chips to build the world's fastest supercomputer – a 300 petaFLOPS beast that would trounce today's most powerful super: China's Tianhe-2. The Department of Energy has commissioned two supercomputers, it was revealed on Friday: one is a system codenamed "Summit", which will be …
Chris Williams, 14 Nov 2014