Articles about coffee

shutterstock_interview_sidey

Mmm, what's that smell: Coffee or sweat? How to avoid a crap IT job

Part 1 Do not try picking up a girl with the line: “You’re not as fat as my current girlfriend; if you sleep with me I’ll drop her as soon as she’s finished painting our bedroom.” Trust me on this, it doesn’t work. It should set off alarm bells in anyone's head. Yet during job interviews, hopefuls are told things like: “We’re ditching …
Dominic Connor, 05 Nov 2012
Screenshot of the Word 2013 startup screen, which doesn't show the year

'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

British SciFi author Charles Stross once had the protagonist of his Laundry Files series, sysadmin/demon-hunter Bob Howard, narrate his day by saying “I'm sitting in my office, shivering over a cooling cup of coffee and reading The Register when my door opens without warning ...”*. Stross is welcome in these pages for that …
Simon Sharwood, 24 Feb 2015

700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

Satnam Narang of Symantec says one scammer was so taken with Twitter he established 750,000 accounts. The senior security response manager found the one man spam plague set up the mind boggling number of Twitter accounts he calls 'mockingbirds' to flog Green Coffee Bean Extract earning cash for visitors referrals. Narang said …
Darren Pauli, 27 Mar 2015
a coffee cup topped with cappucino foam with a wi-fi symbol sprinkled on top in powdered chocolate

Vodafone: Can't make calls on our network? Use Wi-Fi

Vodafone will launch Wi-Fi Calling and Voice over 4G (VoLTE) this summer. Both services require handsets that support the technologies, and Vodafone is keeping mum as to which ones it will be shipping. Wi-Fi Calling is a UMA (Unlicensed Mobile Access) service and for certain high-end handsets is an alternative to using the …
Simon Rockman, 11 Mar 2015
https://www.flickr.com/photos/foundanimalsfoundation/ by Found Animals Foundation CC 2.0 https://www.flickr.com/photos/foundanimalsfoundation/

Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

On-call +NSFW Welcome back to On-call, our planned-to-be-fortnightly look at the things readers have been asked to do in the course of their employment, often at odd hours. This week, reader Guy* wrote to tell us about a gig he scored in the mid-nineties, where “my first task was to find out where all our bandwidth was going when the office …
Simon Sharwood, 26 Apr 2015
Houses of Parliament in night-time

VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

¡Bong! Millions of Britons will go to the polls tomorrow for (we hope) the last ever analogue General Election. Several million more, many of whom share the same names and live at a surprisingly small number of addresses in inner-city constituencies, have already voted. I hope you will choose wisely tomorrow. As a successful venture …
Steve Bong, 06 May 2015
A person measuring her waistline

FTC slaps orders on alleged diet pill spamvertising scam scum

Watchdogs at the US FTC (Federal Trade Commission) have obtained a restraining order against alleged diet pill scammers. The “Com Spammers”, nick-named over their use of domain names in the form of com-XXX.net, where XXX are three or four random characters, have been pushing out huge volumes of email and SMS spam for years. The …
John Leyden, 08 May 2015

They're not a travelling polka band, they're German HPC kids packing Big Iron

HPC blog Home country Germany was well represented at the recent Student Cluster Competition at the 2014 International Supercomputer Show in Leipzig, Germany. Part of the task for students is to find a vendor partner and work with them to put together the best cluster for the event. Of course, the next difficult bit is making sure the …
Virtual journalist files another scoop

Major US news organisations to develop ROBOT JOURNALISTS

In a development whose potential sinister consequences would be difficult to exaggerate, a number of major US new organisations have banded together in an alliance for the purpose of developing news-gathering robots. Nor is this some sort of HuffPost blogswarm news aggregation scrap-o-matic system: this plan would see actual …
Lewis Page, 06 Feb 2015
Spam

Aged 18-24? Don't care about voting? Got a phone? Oh dear...

The Electoral Commission has spotted two things: 18-24 year olds don’t vote and 18-24 year olds have smartphones. You'll never guess what's coming next. The commission, which is charged with getting the UK population out to vote, has employed Weve to peddle mobile voter registration to the youth market. Young adults will be …
Simon Rockman, 17 Mar 2015
Robot hotel

Forget robo-butlers – ROBO-MAIDS! New hotel staffed by slave-droids

A Japanese theme park will open a new hotel in July that is cleaned and operated almost entirely by robots. Guests will be met by robotic desk staff (so, no good trying to bribe one for a room upgrade) and have their bags carried by mechanoid porters. Even the room cleaning will be carried out by mechanical employees, and …
Iain Thomson, 05 Feb 2015

Bong Ventures will NEVER bow down to terrorism: Our Tough Stance in FULL

¡Bong! Ten days ago we disclosed to investors and partners that a huge cyber-attack on Bong Ventures LLC and its subsidiary companies had taken place. This resulted in a catastrophic loss of confidential information, correspondence, strategy documents, and animated movies catering to niche tastes which we only needed for research …
Steve Bong, 27 Dec 2014
Lego lumberjack

Average enterprise 'using 71 services vulnerable to LogJam'

As many as 575 cloud-based services have been left at risk to the newly discovered LogJam crypto vulnerability, according to cloud security specialists Skyhigh Networks. LogJam creates a means for hackers to weaken encrypted connections between a user and a web or email server. The vulnerability was discovered as part of …
John Leyden, 20 May 2015
a coffee cup topped with cappucino foam with a wi-fi symbol sprinkled on top in powdered chocolate

Why Wi-Fi won't solve mobile telcos' data dilemma

If mobile operators rely upon Wi-Fi to relieve themselves of data traffic they are going to need to find some way to get the data home. Right now they're heading for a data bottleneck. So says Bluwan, which – guess what – has a solution to the problem: its 42GHz point to multi-point backhaul. It sees this as the way Wi-Fi can …
Simon Rockman, 05 Mar 2015

It's beers and bacon all round for our Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

Dietary normality has returned for the members of the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse, who last Friday completed the Live Below the Line challenge to live for five days on just one pound sterling a day for food. Yes indeed, give it up if you will for Neil Barnes and Anita Wegner, Toby Sibley and Rosalind Griffin, Chris Wilkinson, …
Lester Haines, 06 May 2015
The Register breaking news

Bank man: System's down, let's have coffee. Oh SNAP, where's all the CASH?

Cybercrooks are running distributed denial of service attacks as a smokescreen to distract bank security staff while they plunder online banking systems, according to a researcher. Avivah Litan, vice president at Gartner Research, reports that cyber criminals looking to attack financial institutions are getting more ambitious by …
John Leyden, 21 Aug 2013
The Register breaking news

iPhone 4S is for failures who work in coffee shops - Samsung

Not content with the trans-continental patent lawsuits, Samsung have struck another blow at Apple. This time somewhere it might hurt - its branding. A new TV ad for the Samsung Galaxy SII showing from today in the States sticks it directly to the iPhone, by suggesting that the Jesus mobe is an over-hyped pricey status toy for …
Anna Leach, 23 Nov 2011
hands waving dollar bills in the air

$180,000 buys you lunch with Tim Cook as charity auction ending

The 8th annual charity auction to meet the executive of your dreams (or nightmares) is showing that lunch with Apple's big boss Tim Cook will set you back over $180,000 – other tech leaders, however, are proving less popular. The auction, run by Charitybuzz, raises money for the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human …
Iain Thomson, 12 May 2014
Costa Wi-Fi coffee

Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Tales from Bohemia, Silicon Roundabout style: in which intrepid explorer Alistair Dabbs goes in search of a cup of coffee in London's Silicon Roundabout tech district traffic feature... Indie cafe 1: Large soya latte, please. Am told they don’t do them in large. They weren’t wrong – drink is served in a vessel smaller than a …
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Aug 2014
Bots

Google swears no search leg up for new dot-word sites: We drill into claims

Google has reiterated its claim that there is no inherent advantage to new top-level domains – such as .london or .book – when it comes to topping search rankings. The position, posted on Google+ by the web giant's trends analyst John Mueller, more or less restates what Google SEO head honcho Matt Cutts insisted more than a …
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Dec 2014
pikatchu pokemon

Bong Ventures LLC: We've been cyberhacked

¡Bong! Recent press reports have appeared suggesting that Bong Ventures LLC suffered a serious sustained cyber-attack resulting in the release of petabytes of confidential data onto the internet. We can confirm reports are true. In order to maintain the confidence of investors and partners, BongVentures LLC has decided to disclose more …
Steve Bong, 12 Dec 2014

'Why Digital?' Seriously? You plainly don't Get It enough. Or at all

¡Bong! "Why Digital?", some of you occasionally ask me. Some get into more detail: "Why Digital, Steve?" It's a question that invites pity and contempt, naturally. Merely asking marks you out as a knuckle-dragging revanchiste. But sometimes I put pity aside; this is a brave thing to ask in 2015. So today, I'm here to help rather than …
Steve Bong, 06 Mar 2015
a coffee cup topped with cappucino foam with a wi-fi symbol sprinkled on top in powdered chocolate

EE springs Wi-Fi phone calls on not-spot sufferers, Tube riders

EE today said it will be the first UK mobile network to roll out full-blooded next-generation Wi-Fi calling. Subscribers will not need to install any special apps: their phones should be able to seamlessly and automatically send and receive text messages, and make and receive calls, via wireless networks when there is no …
Andrew Orlowski, 07 Apr 2015
The thumb of the German Defense Minister

German minister fingered as hacker 'steals' her thumbprint from a PHOTO

Security researchers claimed to have cloned the thumbprint of the German Defense Minister by photographing her hand at a press conference. In a presentation at the annual Chaos Computer Club hacker gathering in Hamburg, Germany, biometrics specialist Jan Krisller – known in the community as "Starbug" – explained how he'd taken a …
Iain Thomson, 29 Dec 2014

The big Reg STORAGE SURVEY

Tech Panel Some of you have said you want to read more on storage, so here's a survey for you to get stuck into. Your answers will give us a steer on the kind of stuff that interests you so we can make sure we're covering the right topics on the site. Freeform Dynamics will help by crunching the numbers and writing a nice report to help …
David Gordon, 24 Apr 2014
The Register breaking news

Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

The words "espresso" and "cappuccino" are too confusing for customers, says high-street retailer Debenhams. The department store chain will instead introduce moron-friendly descriptions, such as "frothy coffee", in its 160 cafes. Out go several descriptions it deems too "fancy" - even "tall" and "grande" have been slung out, the …
Andrew Orlowski, 02 Nov 2012
Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre

Super-villains of C sought for WORLD CONQUEST plan

If you think like a super-villain, laugh like an anti-hero, and can write code, it's time to polish off the cackle, sharpen up the brain, get extra coffee, and start working on your entry to the Underhanded C contest. The 7th Underhanded C contest seeks, like its predecessors, code that is “readable, clear, innocent and …
A boat full of Fail

Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

A number of Google services including Gmail, Contacts, Calendars, Chat, Drive and, er, Google+ suffered a midweek sag this morning just as Brits were downing their first cups of coffee. The ad giant's network appeared crippled to some users within the last hour. Register reader John told us that lots of different Google …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014
© Copyright Anthony O'Neil and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence

Vodafone didn't have a £6bn tax bill. Sort yourselves out, Lefties

Worstall on Wednesday I find myself watching current politics completely open-mouthed in amazement. The number of what are, if we are to be unkind about it, simply outright lies that have become common truths astonishes me. I refer, of course, to the latest revelations of the tax affairs of the nation. The latest round is those revelations from HSBC' …
Tim Worstall, 18 Feb 2015
Microsoft's Windows 7 launch party announcement: German version

Man trousers $15,000 domain name for $10.99 amid registry cockup

Bruce Marler could hardly believe his luck. "I had to double check it, triple checked it, then added it my shopping cart with a few web domains my wife had chosen as well, did not tell her, let her go order sushi and then told her what just happened," he said. A few moments later he had registered the domain credit.club for $10 …
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Jan 2015
2001: A Space Odyssey

GCHQ: Ensure biz security by STOPPING everyone from TALKING

GCHQ is advising organisations to consider stripping staff of smartphones and memory sticks in order to make themselves less exposed to cyber attacks. The advice from the intelligence agency's CESG (Communications-Electronics Security Group) information assurance arm comes against a backdrop of increased concerns about the theft …
John Leyden, 19 Mar 2015

'Hiding our wristjobs from Apple stores ain't easy' – iThing retail boss

QuoTW This week, Moore's Law turned 50, Microsoft lost a pile of cash and Comcast gave up on its dream of buying Time Warner Cable. Here are some of the better quotes uttered over the past seven days: Google got caught having a piddle party on poor Apple, but the Chocolate Factory was quick to heap the blame on its users. When asked …
Team Register, 26 Apr 2015

Oracle E-Business suite wide open to database attack

Clear some time in you diary and drink an extra coffee, sysadmins: a top hacker has warned that Oracle will tomorrow patch a horror bug that needs urgent attention. Datacom TSS hacker David Litchfield told The Reg he has reported to Oracle that versions of its E-Business suite contain a "major" misconfiguration flaw that allowed …
Darren Pauli, 20 Jan 2015

China: Microsoft, don't shy away from our probe

China's antitrust regulator has confirmed it met Microsoft's lawyers over its investigation into the US firm, warning it to abide by Chinese law and not to interfere with the probe. China's State Administration for Industry and Commerce said in a statement (translated by Google) that it had spoken with deputy general counsel …
Photo of HP Enterprise office

'Truth in advertising laws apply to you too, mobile app sellers'

QuoTW This week, we blew up our smarthomes, warded off a nasty Microsoft bug and talked tough about Google. Here are the choice quotes: Failing company HP unveiled a new logo for its Hewlett Packard Enterprise business. CEO Meg Whitman was rather proud of the rollout and explained the deep meaning behind the interlocking 't' letters …
Team Register, 19 Apr 2015
Tesla powerwall

Tesla Powerwall: not much cheaper and also a bit wimpier than existing batteries

It's pretty and batteries are ugly – but Tesla's Powerwall is more like an incremental change than a radical disruption. Given that the hype over Elon Musk's Tesla Powerwall announcement has reached all the way from The Verge calling the colours “lickable” (no, not likeable) and tossing in a hypegasm over Musk's “best keynote …
DVD it in many colours

Coffers Coffee Republic gets own cashless system

Coffee Republic is the latest entity to launch an NFC-based pre-paid system for those who like to pony up in advance for their caffeine fix and have their usage tracked in exchange for a ten per cent rebate. Not content with accepting cash, credit cards, and contactless payments using bank cards, Coffee Republic has launched its …
Bill Ray, 20 Dec 2008
Hololens

PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

Build 2015 Microsoft is serious about HoloLens, and devoted some stage time during Wednesday morning's keynote at the Build conference in San Francisco to explain how its futuristic headset will be more than just a fancy toy. Game developers are reportedly already exploring the possibilities inherent in a headset that can superimpose …
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015
EE 4G banner

Small businesses discover the power of mobile apps

Sponsored article This article is sponsored by EE. Using your smartphone is about so much more than making a call. We can probably all remember the news reports a couple of years ago that said making a phone call is only the fifth most popular use for mobile phones. We are more likely to be using them to browse the internet, monitor social media …
David Gordon, 09 Oct 2014
Uber - living the dream

Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM

¡Bong! Extra Why can’t Old Media just accept we have it beaten, lie down and die? It’s taking forever. Nothing saddened me more this week than reading that bold new data journalism initiatives from Uber were being shot down before they had even reached Seed stage. My bromate, the Uber VP Emil Michael, has sent dead tree media Offendotrons …
Steve Bong, 22 Nov 2014
The Register breaking news

Cellphones as carcinogenic as coffee

Comment Tuesday's classification of mobiles as potentially carcinogenic produced some great headlines, despite being based on no additional research or statistical findings and putting phones into the same danger category as coffee. "Cellphone radiation can cause cancer" read one headline, while "Cellphone, cancer link confirmed" was …
Bill Ray, 03 Jun 2011

BOFH: Getting to the brown, nutty heart of the water cooler matter

Episode 6 "..and so we just mix all the ingredients together like this, tip it out onto a surface like so, and roll it into a roughly cylindrical shape. Now we just push in the extras and then pop it into the freezer for a few hours till it's nice and hard and easy to handle. And we're done," the PFY says with a flourish. I can't …
Simon Travaglia, 15 May 2015
Apple Maiden data center server

3,500 servers go down – so my FIRST AID training kicks in

On-call Welcome again to On-Call, our getting-slightly-more-regular look at Reg readers professional escapades at odd times of the day or night, usually in odd places. This week's tale comes from Pat Dufresne, who tells us he spent two years on the night shift at a hosting company in Montreal, Canada, and rates the gig “the best two …
Simon Sharwood, 22 Mar 2015

El Reg assembles mighty Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

El Reg's participation next week in the 2015 Live Below the Line challenge – to survive for five days on one pound a day for food – is set to be more entertaining than ever as we've assembled a mighty Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse featuring no fewer than 11 brave souls. I first did the challenge back in 2013, in support of Malaria No …
Lester Haines, 22 Apr 2015
Acer Iconia One 8

Acer introduces a REVOLUTION in tablet tech: The PENCIL

Pics In an earlier article on The Register, Acer revealed its PC plans – but also in evidence at its recent press launch in New York last week was the company’s belief that there is still plenty of room in certain market segments for tablets. Acer Iconia One 8 Acer's Iconia One 8: why buy a fancy stylus when you can use the 2mm tip …
Alistair Dabbs, 28 Apr 2015
The Register breaking news

GTA maker coughs up $20m for 'hot coffee' sex

Take-Two Interactive will shuffle $20 million out the door to make its "hot coffee" headaches go away. The game publisher said Wednesday it has settled a longstanding class-action shareholder lawsuit over an infamous sex scene squirreled away in the code of Grand Theft Auto: San Andres. Take-Two will stuff $20,115,000 into a …
Austin Modine, 02 Sep 2009
channel

Al-Qaeda targets net-connected coffee machine

An Aussie risk advisory services manager has issued a chilling security alert concerning the Jura F90 net-connected coffee machine, warning caffeine-heads that the hi-tech brewing device could open their Windows PC to exploitation by internet paedophiles and al-Qaeda*, CNET reports. The Jura F90 Craig Wright, who works for " …
Lester Haines, 18 Jun 2008
Pushmi-Pullyu

We must SMASH the Democratic Deadlock with MINDFUL EVIDENCE

¡Bong! “They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad,” the great Poet Laureate Sir John Betjeman once wrote. Harshly, I think. My own father, the late financier and diplomat Gilbert Xavier de Bong, who died designing the Richard M Nixon Presidential Library, bequeathed me many gifts. Not least of which is a deep moral purpose in life. “If it …
Steve Bong, 07 Nov 2014
Intel's pilot age-detecting vending machine

For your next privacy panic, look no further than vending machines

If you're looking for a future privacy panic, look no further than the coming wave of PC-powered pic-snapping age-guessing vending machines. The idea behind such machines is simple: if you can pop a PC inside a vending machine you get the ability to manage it more effectively and to measure which goods are selling well or poorly …
Simon Sharwood, 30 May 2014

Microsoft staff brace for next round of layoffs – expected Thursday

The coffee machines at Microsoft will be taking a hammering from nervous workers after a report that the company will lay off another tranche of staff on Thursday. Back in July Microsoft announced it will lay off 18,000 employees in a reorganization lasting six months; 12,500 have since been shown the door, with the vast …
Iain Thomson, 17 Sep 2014