Articles about coffee

Computerised stock management? Nah, let’s use walkie-talkies

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I’d like to try these in a size nine-and-a-half or size 10, please. “A size nine... and-a-half?” the shop assistant asks incredulously. Yes. Or a 10. “Which size do you want – the nine-and-a-half or the 10?” I’d like the size that fits my feet. “So... are your feet size nine-and-a-half or size 10?” Ah now, I can’t say for …
Alistair Dabbs, 03 Jun 2016

One espresso is not theft, Oz judge rules, it's part of civilization

Give us your desperate IT students, struggling to pay the rent on 20 hours a week as a cleaner, and Australia can at least give you the odd cup of coffee. In a case that shocked Vulture South to its very core, an international IT student was sacked in January for brushing up on one of the core skills of the industry: locating …
Geeks Guide, BT Tower, photo The Register

Geek's Guide to Britain – now a book. Permission to geek out granted

In 2013, The Register began its travel series Geek's Guide to Britain. Today, that series is available as a book. The inspiration for our series were the scientists, engineers and inventors born or working in Great Britain who made their mark on the world. Jet engines, the internet, medicine, electricity, mass communications …
Gavin Clarke, 02 Jun 2016
OWL VR Viewer by Brian May's London Stereoscopic Company Copyright London Stereoscopic Company

Queen guitarist Brian May releases virtual reality viewer

Queen guitarist Brian May is an enthusiast for stereo imagery, the Victorian-era 3D craze for viewing photos through a stereoscope in order to be awed by the illusion of depth in static images. May's put his money where his eyes are, operating the London Stereoscopic Company to promote the technology. Now the shaggy-haired one …
Simon Sharwood, 27 May 2016

Hooves in spaaace: Goat Simulator goes galactic

Swedish games outfit Coffee Stain Studios has announced it's releasing a galactic expansion to its popular 2014 ram-'em-up Goat Simulator, which finally offered goat wannabes the chance to fulfil their caprine fantasies. Entitled Waste of Space, the expansion's premise is that players "get to beat or trick people into …
Lester Haines, 25 May 2016
Laptop user, photo via Shutterstock

Hacked in a public space? Thanks, HTTPS

Have you ever bothered to look at who your browser trusts? The padlock of a HTTPS connection doesn't mean anything if you can't trust the other end of the connection and its upstream signatories. Do you trust CNNIC (China Internet Network Information Centre). What about Turkistan trust or many other “who are they” type …
Stuart Burns, 20 May 2016
Tintin and Captain Haddock. Pic by Thibaut Démare, licensed under cc 2.0

Being an IT trainer is like performing the bullet-catching trick

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I’m on stage with a gun pointing at my heart. There is the sound of nervous shuffling as those sitting in the stalls squirm in their seats. Then silence: the audience quickly falls still and holds it breath. The man armed with the musket is raising the muzzle to take better aim before slowly squeezing the trigger… He pauses. “ …
Alistair Dabbs, 20 May 2016

Ooh missus, get a grip on my notifications

Something for the Weekend, Sir? YOU LOVE IT YOU SLAG This was, as alert followers of my column may recall, the first SMS text message I ever received on my first ever mobile phone, sometime during the last century. I did not bother to find out who sent it to me. It was a wrong number, of course... but not knowing with absolute certainty ensures that the …
Alistair Dabbs, 13 May 2016

Sic transit Mercury Monday

Mercury will transit the Sun today between 11:12 GMT (7:12 AM EDT, 12:12 BST) and 18:42 GMT (2:42 PM EDT; 19:42 BST), with NASA TV offering a live feed from its Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO). The space agency has full details on its coverage of the event here. The European Space Agency (ESA) will also be catching the action …
Lester Haines, 09 May 2016
Repair man Shenzhen

Sat TV biz Dish: I'm not an authorized iPhone repairer ... but $20 is $20

Satellite TV service Dish has announced plans to moonlight as an unauthorized iPhone repair service. The US telly provider said it will be dispatching its technicians to offer on-site repairs or replacements for the screens and batteries in certain Apple phones ranging from the iPhone 5 to the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus. The service …
Shaun Nichols, 03 May 2016

Samsung tightens smart home kit security after curious bods prod apps

Samsung has said there's nothing for owners of its SmartThings home security gear to worry about – after researchers showed numerous ways to commandeer devices and disable locks. The three researchers from the University of Michigan, who were partially sponsored by Microsoft, have demonstrated that with the help of malicious …
Iain Thomson, 02 May 2016
Vintage printer heads

Quad-core coffee table trumped by dual-Mac garden furniture

Last week we brought you the story of the Mac Pro put out to pasture as a coffee table and asked readers to share similar stories. Which of course you did, you lovely people. A fellow reader named Mark pointed us in the direction of the works of German designer Klaus Geiger, who will sell you one of the benches below if you …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Apr 2016

How does a business make decisions? How should a business make decisions?

As a business owner, I want to believe that I have what it takes to lead. I'm charismatic enough that I can usually convince people to do what I want them to do. I am good enough with Google that I can find out many things and I have the ability to learn a great deal about complex topics quickly. Surely I will thusly make good …
Trevor Pott, 22 Apr 2016
Apple G5 coffee table

Pro who killed Apple's Power Mac found... masquerading as a coffee table

The Register has been shooting some video of late, and on a recent visit to Key Studio came across a coffee table we think is worthy of some attention. Apple G5 coffee table Yes, we should have picked up that bag to tidy up this shot The table's pedestal is a Mac Pro, sucking the juice from two dual core Intel Xeon 5150 …
Simon Sharwood, 22 Apr 2016

BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

Episode 5 "Wah wah wah wah wah..." "Wah wah wah wah wah... "...You know - the Internet of Things," the Boss says. "The internet of what things?" I ask. "You know, everything," the Boss says, tossing me the proverbial geeky talking stick. "Everything?" I ask, watching the stick fly by and fall to the ground. "Yes, you know, the …
Simon Travaglia, 15 Apr 2016
Photo by Saul Bromberger for OpenPOWER Foundation

Power9: Google gives Intel a chip-flip migraine, IBM tries to lures big biz

OpenPower Summit IBM's Power9 processor, due to arrive in the second half of next year, will have 24 cores, double that of today's Power8 chips, it emerged today. Meanwhile, Google has gone public with its Power work – confirming it has ported many of its big-name web services to the architecture, and that rebuilding its stack for non-Intel …
Chris Williams, 07 Apr 2016

Google reveals own security regime policy trusts no network, anywhere, ever

Google sees little distinction between board rooms and bars, cubicles and coffee shops; all are untrusted under its perimeter-less security model detailed in a paper published this week. The "BeyondCorp model" under development for more than five years is a zero-trust network model where the user is king and log in location …
Darren Pauli, 06 Apr 2016
Man types something into Mac while sipping a glass of lemon water. Not a brilliant idea. Photo by SHutterstock

Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? The person sitting next to me has confessed that sometimes he likes to do it sideways. Apparently this way he can make use of the full length without straining his neck. He’s lucky: not everyone has the facility to rotate their computer display. Even those that do often don’t realise they can. A manager I worked for quite a …
Alistair Dabbs, 01 Apr 2016
Handshake, image via Shutterstock

IT freely, a true tale: One night a project saved my life

Everyone knows that IT is a byword for burnout. Admins, coders and hardware jocks frequently keep unsociable hours. Putting in 60-hour weeks is something of a norm. Such punishing workloads can and do push people over the edge. Everyone deals with stress in different ways. Some people snap and end up taking it to the extreme, …
Coffee cups image via Shutterstock

Brits shun nightclubs and CD-ROMs for lemons, coffee and woman’s leggings

Modern Britons would rather sit at home in a pair of lady’s leggings quaffing Baileys, downloading computer games and sucking lemons than grab a ham roll down the pub before going to a nightclub. At least that’s the image suggested by the latest rejig of the shopping basket of goods and services that the Office for National …
Joe Fay, 15 Mar 2016
dunce_cap_648

You say I mustn’t write down my password? Let me make a note of that

Something for the Weekend, Sir? My desk-side wastepaper basket is full. OK, sure, first world problems and all that, but it’s 8am and I have only just walked in to the office. Why would my bin be full? I haven’t put anything in it yet. Despite being full, this bin does not contain what an office bin is supposed to contain: there’s no half-full coffee cup, …
Alistair Dabbs, 11 Mar 2016

Microsoft has crafted a switch OS on Debian Linux. Repeat, a switch OS on Debian Linux

OCP Summit Put down your coffee gently. Microsoft has today released the source code to an open-source operating system, based on Debian GNU/Linux, that runs on network switches. The software is dubbed SONiC, aka Software for Open Networking in the Cloud. It's a toolkit of code and kernel patches to bend switch hardware to your will, so …
Chris Williams, 09 Mar 2016

Everything bad in the world can be traced to crap Wi-Fi

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Ah, it’s sod’s law,” murmurs the person sitting next to me. I nod agreeably. It was inevitable. I am attending a brief awards ceremony for student journalists prior to this year’s Hugh Cudlipp lecture. Young journos, we were reminded, were masters of digital content and were making their names through the use of social media …
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Mar 2016
spy_eye_648

Reminder: How to get a grip on your files, data that Windows 10 phones home to Microsoft

If you don't know how to control the information Windows 10 sends back about you to Microsoft, the Redmond giant has updated its guide on how to do so. Snappily titled "Configure telemetry and other settings in your organization", the page was tweaked on Tuesday, and some corners of the web are rather excited by this …
Chris Williams, 24 Feb 2016
a coffee cup topped with cappucino foam with a wi-fi symbol sprinkled on top in powdered chocolate

Wi-Fi operators must notify device users of potential data processing

Organisations that provide Wi-Fi services to their staff or customers must notify device users of the potential for their data to be analysed before they begin to process their information, the UK's data protection watchdog has said. Wireless connectivity between Wi-Fi connection points and electronic devices, like mobile …
OUT-LAW.COM, 23 Feb 2016

The paperless office? Don’t talk sheet

Something for the Weekend, Sir? A report has arrived in my email inbox, claiming to provide information on “the paperless office”. Instinctively, I check the calendar. No, it isn’t 1985. Perhaps I misread the subject line? Nope. There it is: “the paperless office”. Ah bless. I’ve heard people talking about the concept of office work without paper since my …
Alistair Dabbs, 19 Feb 2016

Streetmap's lawyer: Google High Court win will have 'chilling effect’ on UK digital biz

Google’s High Court victory against Streetmap on Friday will have a chilling effect on digital startups and British SMEs. The verdict in the Streetmap.eu v Google Inc competition case set a new hurdle for proving that a dominant player had caused harm – one that’s now far higher than it is in the rest of the EU. What happened …
Andrew Orlowski, 15 Feb 2016
Pulsar, image via Shutterstock

The field at the centre of the universe: Cambridge's outdoor pulsar pusher

Geek's Guide to Britain A field full of bits of old wire and an abandoned garden shed: it doesn't look like the place where Nobel prize-wining research was conducted, pushing the frontier of radio astronomy. But it was. This is the Mullard Radio Astronomy Observatory, at Lords Bridge – site of a disused railway station just outside Cambridge – which …
Simon Rockman, 12 Feb 2016
monty_python_french_knights_648

Send tortuous stand-up ‘nine-thirty’ meetings back to the dark ages

Something for the Weekend, Sir? It begins with a murmur. Despite my best attempts to ignore it for as long as possible, the indistinct mumbling gradually becomes intelligible, forcing me to pay attention. “Is it now?” I glance at my watch surreptitiously as being seen to do so could make it difficult later to claim ignorance of the time. I shrink down, don …
Alistair Dabbs, 12 Feb 2016
Starbucks Dabbsy

Three storage upstarts hit back at doom, gloom 'n' layoffs news

Amidst the six-way storage startup staff lay-off gloom, another three companies* are going the other way. Exagrid, owncloud and Simplivity are showing the storage market still has a thirst for great products. Wake up competitors, and smell the coffee. Actifio, Atlantis, Coho Data, DataGravity, Panasas and Tegile have all laid …
Chris Mellor, 10 Feb 2016
Chick and bunny Image via Shutterstock

Whew! How to tell if a DevOps biz is peddling a load of manure

Comment If you are a data centre provider with a new DevOps division that is actually just two blokes sat in a call centre who kind of know what DevOps is, then you're probably not doing DevOps. Also, if your DevOps toolset doesn’t include quantifiable tasks metrics and call stack analysis technology, then that's probably not DevOps, …
VMware nutella

VMware's Tech Day Online: A conference you can attend from your desk

Promo Need an infrastructure refresher but stuck at your desk ploughing through New Year projects? VMware has the answer. Tech Day Online is a conference you can attend from your desk. We're kicking off at 11:30am AEDT, 16 February, with a look at VMware's approach to bringing applications to the cloud and any device. Next, your …
David Gordon, 26 Jan 2016

If you can't buy bootleg gear online in New York, this may be why

Usenix Enigma A university sleuth investigating online bootleggers has spoken of his research into counterfeit markets – including revealing the moment he accidentally blocked off a chunk of Manhattan to scammers. Understanding the money trail behind illicit internet businesses has been a passion of Damon McCoy, an assistant professor of …
Iain Thomson, 26 Jan 2016
steam_dota_character_648

Trojan-filled Chrome extensions for Steam boil off gamers' assets

Miscreants are slinging fraudulent Chrome extension trojans at gamers that, if installed, will empty victims’ Steam inventory. Security researcher Bart Blaze warned that supposedly "helpful" Chrome extensions for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO) are actually scamware. “Instead of being able to change your CS:GO Double …
John Leyden, 20 Jan 2016
Tesla was a bright spark

The Bong Diaries, Pt.94: Bowie, Martha... and where's my knighthood?

¡Bong! “Here in my Car. I can only receive I can listen to you It keeps me stable for days In Cars" - David Bowie and Brian Eno: “My Life in a Bush of Ghosts” Jan 1st Grand Cayman I scan the New Year’s Honours with some dismay. Previous years have been studded with digital recognition. Past recipients have included an MBE …
Steve Bong, 15 Jan 2016
Are you being served?

Serving up IT on a silver platter, also known as ITSM

In the 1950s, we imagined a world where everything was automated. Robots would clean for us, and small boxes would instantly produce hot food. Now, we have the Roomba and the microwave, and shortly, cars that drive themselves. Even Zuck is preparing his electronic butler. To top it all, there’s not a dodgy-looking Jetsons …
Danny Bradbury, 15 Jan 2016

Hacks rebel after bosses secretly install motion sensors under desks

Staff at one of Britain's oldest national newspapers got a shock on Monday morning when they found monitoring sensors installed under their desks. The boxes, sold by OccupEye as a way to monitor how long staff are at their desks without relying "on coffee cups and coats on chairs," were installed in the offices of The Daily …
Iain Thomson, 12 Jan 2016
Afraid of the dark, image via Shutterstock

Lights out! Newbie IT manager's dark basement trip

This Damn War Hello and welcome to a brand-new Register series taken from the front line of high tech and business, encompassing war stories from our readers and writers about clumsy contractors, slippery suppliers, and the machinations of management. It's tales of fail, "I told you so" moments, and of getting away with it. Kicking off is …
Dave Cartwright, 11 Jan 2016
Rubrik_doughnuts

Rubrik's cube: Storage firm founder drenches us in upstart Kool-Aid

Comment The intellectual firepower at the top of Rubrik’s founding engineering team is exceeded only by the relentless promotion of the company, its founders, engineers and prospects by CEO Bipul Sinha, a VC partner. We met Rubrik during a Silicon Valley IT press tour in December 2015. After drinking coffee and enjoying doughnuts ( …
Chris Mellor, 05 Jan 2016
Users with laptop, mobile, tablet have tea in a coffee house. Pic via shutterstock

Java 9 delayed until Thursday March 23rd, 2017, just after tea-time

Oracle has delayed the release of Java 9 by six months. We've been watching the date since we reported on Java 9's new naming scheme a couple of weeks back and named September 22nd, 2016, as the debut date for the new code. Which wasn't entirely right, as reader Sean Coffey pointed out because in this thread Java's overseers …
Simon Sharwood, 23 Dec 2015

Philips backs down over firmware that adds DRM to light

Dutch electronics giant Philips has been forced into an embarrassing U-turn over its plans to lock out third-party suppliers of light bulbs for its Hue smart lighting system. Earlier this week Philips updated the firmware of its Hue lighting system to block the use of light bulbs from companies that don't have the Philips seal …
Iain Thomson, 17 Dec 2015
Bookshelf in the British Library basement

Oxford Uni opens infosec ivory tower in Melbourne

The State of Victoria is cementing its place as Australia's security hub with the launch of an Oxford University national infosec risk centre in Melbourne. The Global Cyber Security Capacity Centre will perform "audits of national cyber security risks and capabilities" to help Australia plan investments and strategies. It …
Darren Pauli, 15 Dec 2015
Coffee cups image via Shutterstock

IBM brews exciting enterprise-grade PaaS project

IBM is brewing an open-source project to improve the operation of languages and tools on different PaaS. The giant firm has revealed it’s working on OMR, to develop reusable and “easily consumable” components for building “all kinds” of language runtimes. Code for OMR comes IBM’s J9 Java Virtual Machine – the heart of IBM’s …
Gavin Clarke, 14 Dec 2015

HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Our recent shock exposé on plans by Hewlett Packard Enterprise to open a private drinking club in its new City of London HQ led to speculation as to what exactly the boozer might be christened. To recap, a Reg reader spotted a licence application attached to the front of 1 Aldermanbury Square, on which the-then HP signed a 15- …
Lester Haines, 09 Dec 2015
Lumia 950 XL

Microsoft Lumia 950 and 950XL: Clear thoughts of Continuum with a snazzy camera

Review There’s only one reason you might want to buy either of the new flagship Microsoft Lumias. Straight off the bat, we can tell you it's not the party trick Continuum, where your phone doubles up as an ARM-based PC to run Microsoft Office. Nor is that reason Windows 10 – which is still buggy, bereft of significant new benefits …
Andrew Orlowski, 08 Dec 2015
that's all folks featuring Porky Pig

If it still works six months from now, count yourself lucky

Something for the Weekend, Sir? My underwear smells of bacon. The idea, I think, is to make carnivorous members of society salivate in the unlikely event that they should ever bring their faces into close proximity of my shreddies. Unable to test the effectiveness of this theory "in the field", as it were, I am forced to take it on trust. That said, I can …
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Dec 2015

Brit hardware hacker turns Raspberry Pi Zeros into selfie slayers

Kiwicon Hipsters and selfie addicts beware: infosec man Steve Lord has crafted a tool designed to sever your line of addiction to Instagram by quietly blocking it over public Wi-Fi. The British security bod built the Raspberry Pi Zero-powered "hipster slayer" out of nothing more than off-the-shelf components and "questionable life …
Darren Pauli, 02 Dec 2015
The Infinity Modular Laptop

OLPC's modular heir hits the crowdfunding trail

One Education, the Australian offshoot of the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) project, has hit the crowdfunding trail to find the resources needed to build its heir to the project's XO computer. As we've previously reported, One Education's new “Infinity” is a modular computer that allows users to swap out the device's battery, …
Simon Sharwood, 30 Nov 2015

Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

Review For reasons that continue to confound consumers, the two most popular areas for smart-home technologies right now are lightbulbs and plugs. There are literally dozens of companies trying to do the electronic equivalent of designing a better mousetrap. Among the also-rans, there are a few that stand out, however. We've already …
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Nov 2015
Raspberry Pi Zero

What the world needs now is Pi, sweet $5 Raspberry Pi Zero

Our American cousins may be getting stuck in to pumpkin pie today, but Raspberry Pi hopes they'll also appreciate its $5 (£4) Pi Zero computer, which the Blighty outfit launched today. In a video showing off the teeny-tiny 'puter, Raspberry Pi boss Eben Upton spoke about how the high cost of machines, such as the Commodore …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Nov 2015