Articles about beer

Robot as person illustration via Shutterstock

I was a robot and this is what I learned

Sysadmin blog For one brief instant, Microsoft was the good guy. Deep within the often customer-hostile behemoth, left after the arrogance and straight on past the victim blaming is the office of Brian First, with the Microsoft Experience Design Group. Alongside a company called Event Presence, Brian made me feel like a real person, actual …
Trevor Pott, 07 Dec 2016

Here's the thing: We've pressed pause on my startup

Radbot Previously, you intimated that most of you would not relish a night out on the tiles with our team (boo). No pony for you So, it turns out that this is the real world, and even when the CEO wishes for a pony*, it doesn't always trot up. And that means, dear readers and commentards, that you get to hear when it doesn't go to …

Robot solves Rubik's Cubes in 637 milliseconds

A robot has reportedly broken the world record for solving a Rubik's Cube in the shortest time – the third occasion this year it has fallen. The builders of the Sub1 Reloaded robot claimed it took 637 milliseconds to figure out the cuboid puzzle at the Electronica trade fair in Munich. The power for motor control was supplied …
Paul Kunert, 10 Nov 2016
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Bungling ATM thieves blow up bank statement machine

"Not very clever" bank thieves have blown up an automated statement printer in Berlin instead of the ATM they were hoping to empty. In a laconic statement auf Deutsch titled "Shredding differently" (who says Germans have no sense of humour?), the local cops said: "Presumably not very clever criminals succeeded in forcibly …
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 2016
Radbot teaser image by Damon Hart-Davis

Power to the (outsourced) people – globalisation starts small

Radbot Pleading poverty, we don't have huge quantities of cash to throw at the necessary elements of a crowdfunding campaign such as the main video and its fleet of videolets for social meeja channels. Yes, we're cheap. Or "efficient": quick, find me a CFO to make it sound better! So one way to get this material made is to have …
Doh image via Shutterstock

How Google's Project Zero made Apple refactor its kernel

When Apple shipped its security bug-fixes earlier this week, one patch mostly passed under the radar. Ian Beer of Google Project Zero, who found a deep-down vulnerability in the XNU kernel, first reported it to Apple in February this year, and it took until now to clean it up properly. It took eight months, apparently, …
HPE demo at Barcelona. Pic by Gareth Corfield

Beer, security by design and actual revenue: HPE shows off IoT offerings

IoT World Congress Beer-as-a-service at American football games is just one of the things Hewlett Packard Enterprise has brought to the Internet of Things playground, its chief IoT technologist, Colin I’Anson, told The Register this morning. I’Anson also said that, as far as IoT goes, HPE will not be signing any exclusivity deal with partners …
Gareth Corfield, 26 Oct 2016
Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

A bigger splash: The mathematics of spilling beer

A team of researchers has ventured deep into the physics of spilling to uncover why pints of beer splash everywhere but liquid in straws do not when positioned horizontally. The relationship between the possibility of spillage and a tube was thought to be based on the size of the tube’s opening. A paper published on the …
Katyanna Quach, 25 Oct 2016
budweiser truck

Uber's robo-truck makes first delivery of ... Budweiser in Colorado

A truck using Uber’s latest automated driving system has made its first commercial delivery after shipping 45,000 cans of beer Bud on public freeways with no one at the wheel. The truckload of fizzy brew was shipped from an Anheuser-Busch warehouse in Fort Collins, Colorado, to a distributor in Colorado Springs about 140 miles …
Iain Thomson, 25 Oct 2016

ARM: Hold my beer, we'll install patches for your crappy IoT gear for you

ARM TechCon Processor designer ARM will squirt security fixes directly into internet-connected gadgets to hopefully keep them defended from hackers. Manufacturers of Internet-of-Things gizmos and other embedded products have complained that updating gear in the field is too much hard work. That means devices are rarely patched when …
Chris Williams, 25 Oct 2016
Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

Judge nailed for trying to bribe Fed with fizzy water (aka Bud Light)

A judge in North Carolina, US, has been convicted for attempting to bribe an FBI agent to pull his wife's text messages in exchange for two cases of flavored water – aka American light beer. Judge Arnold Jones II was found guilty of three charges related to his attempt convince an officer working with the FBI gang-busting task …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Oct 2016
Statler and Waldorf - copyright - The Walt Disney company - the muppets studio

What will happen when I'm too old to push? (buttons, that is)

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I'd like you to consider my underwear. As we move inexorably towards another Christmas – for American readers, I understand you prefer the euphemism "Holiday Season" for its more generous syllable-count – close relatives have begun asking what gifts I might like to receive on the big day. What I want, of course, is toys. …
Alistair Dabbs, 21 Oct 2016
Radbot teaser image by Damon Hart-Davis

Hardware ain't hard, money is: Crowdfunding, bootstraps and startups

Radbot Our quiz on startup branding revealed that a worrying number of you are not to be trusted with a hot iron - branding, soldering, or even wool setting, it seems. I made a slight oversight in that while in banking I did not "put aside" (as a friend calls it) the megabucks to become a gentleman of leisure and science, so we need …
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Sysadmin flees asbestos scare with disk drive, blank pay cheques, angry builders in pursuit

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday frolic through readers' memories of jobs gone bad. This week, meet “John” who once worked for a construction company that printed its payroll checks every Thursday afternoon. “If the cheques were not ready early on Friday morning, the superintendents were more than willing to give the …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2016
Bemused attendees trying out VR at the Samsung Galaxy S7 launch

Think virtual reality is just about games? Think again, friend

With the launch of PlayStation's VR headset, we are clearly entering a brave new world of virtual reality – everything from the low-end Google Daydream to the far-too-expensive Oculus Rift. But while interest has been focused on the gaming possibilities, an undercurrent of filmmakers has started exploring the storytelling …
Kieren McCarthy, 18 Oct 2016
Man holds white flag while sitting alongside empty beer bottles next to a toilet bowl. Pic by Shutterstock

Soylent bars farting recall

Future food firm Soylent has issued a total recall on its food bars after reports that they were giving some consumers upset stomachs. The food bars, launched last month and designed to give 12.5 per cent of the total nutrients needed for a day, have now been withdrawn from sale and the company is offering a full refund. "A …
Iain Thomson, 13 Oct 2016
Sleeping man on couch with a beer , popcorn and a food-stained vest. Photo by Shutterstock

HPE is mulling 'tuck-in' buys of cloud firms, gros fromage says

Hewlett Packard Enterprise is sat on pile of cash that will be used to fund “tuck-in” buyouts, with cloud services a potential hunting ground, the company’s number two has told The Register. Antonio Neri, also exec veep and GM for the Enterprise Group, said the major structural work that has seen the PC and print units spun …
Paul Kunert, 04 Oct 2016

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

Episode 12 "Look, all we want you to do is take this simple test which will tell us your personality type and the things you respond to," the Boss burbles. "Angry, and Free Beer!" the PFY chips, strolling into the conversation. "Oh good, I was hoping to catch you," the Boss says, turning to the PFY after a fruitless 10 minutes trying …
Simon Travaglia, 30 Sep 2016
Cambridge bikes photo MK Jones via Shutterstock

Turing, Hauser, Sinclair – haunt computing's Cambridge A-team stamping ground

Geek's Guide to Britain King’s Parade in Cambridge looks like the last street on earth to have anything to do with computing. On one side is an absurdly ornate college gatehouse in yellow stone and King’s College Chapel, which combines the barn-like shape of a tiny chapel with the scale and detail of a cathedral. The other side is lined by tall …
SA Mathieson, 26 Sep 2016
Man holds white flag while sitting alongside empty beer bottles next to a toilet bowl. Pic by Shutterstock

Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

A desperate Dublin shopkeeper has placed a toilet and a pile of his very competitvely priced bog roll on the pavement outside his shop after a series of visits from a loose boweled night owl. Alan Buckley was forced to install the curb-side crapper outside his Clever Buys outlet in Finglas, because “someone keeps coming up and …
Clodagh Doyle, 23 Sep 2016
Top gear team photo by MediaPictures pl via Shutterstock

Jeremy Clarkson and Co. rise to top for Great British Bake Off replacements

Two weeks after Channel 4’s £75m grab of Great British Bake Off from the BBC, the broadcaster has a big marquee but no filling. Mary Berry has joined puckish Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc in electing to stay with the BBC, meaning three quarters of GBBO’s presenting line up evaporated. It was Berry who mitigated the unvarnished …
Gavin Clarke, 23 Sep 2016
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What says Internet of Things better than a Bluetooth-controlled smart candle?

Someone with far more time and money than sense has developed a “real flame smart candle” that can be controlled over Bluetooth. No, really. The Ludela smart candle is some kind of bastard offspring of an electric vape and a wax candle. Boasting a “real flame”, the ludicrous Ludela candle comes with a smartphone app that …
Gareth Corfield, 21 Sep 2016
Chicken eggs, photo via Shutterstock

Naked, drunken Swede assaults chicken shed after 60th birthday

A Malmo man is facing paying thousands of kronor in damages after attending a friend’s 60th birthday party and ending up crawling naked and bleeding from an elderly woman’s hen house. The elderly poultry rearer in Ikea hometown Älmhult assumed her prize layers were under attack from a marauding fox after a series of noises …
Joe Fay, 20 Sep 2016
Sleeping man on couch with a beer , popcorn and a food-stained vest. Photo by Shutterstock

Retired Philae lander slouches on Comet 67P

The European Space Agency's (ESA) obsolete robotic lander Philae has been spotted lying on its side in the dark depths of Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko as the Rosetta mission nears completion. The images were snapped on 2 September by the OSIRIS narrow-angle camera on board the spacecraft, which has orbited the comet within …
Katyanna Quach, 06 Sep 2016
image by Alexander_P http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-493324p1.html

Google crushes 33 Chrome bugs, pays boffins more than $56k

Google has patched 33 Chrome vulnerabilities, including 13 rated high severity, with the release of verison 53 of the world's most popular web browser. Six high-severity bugs were reported in Google's native Adobe Reader wrecker PDFium, namely a use after free and five heap overflows of which three were reported by GiWan Go of …
Darren Pauli, 02 Sep 2016

German minister seeks facial recognition at airports, train stations

Germany's interior minister Thomas de Maiziere wants facial recognition systems in the country's airports and train stations to identify terror suspects. Europe has experienced a wave of attacks, many terror-related, over recent months, which has in turn triggered a heightened state of security. De Maiziere told the German …
Darren Pauli, 22 Aug 2016
Man drinks Beer. Photo by shutterstock

Polish developer hacks Android rewards app for free beer

A cunning Polish developer has hacked an Android food and drink rewards app to grant himself unlimited free beer. Kuba Gretzky detailed his excellent exploits in a blog post on Breakdev – though, to deter copycats, he didn't name the rewards app or the precise location within Poland where it was operating. He did, however, …
Gareth Corfield, 19 Aug 2016

300 million pelicans? Pah. What 6 billion plastic bags really weigh

The splash story on one Sunday newspaper breezily informed us Brits used six billion fewer plastic bags this year than last, and that these weighed the same as “three million pelicans” – a grave naughtiness committed before El Reg's Standards Soviet. Last Saturday's edition of the Daily Mail featured the screaming splash …
Gareth Corfield, 02 Aug 2016

Beer merger dwarfs EMC/Dell

Two of the world's largest brewers are set to merge. Anheuser-Busch InBev is already the world's largest brewer, producing Stella Artois, Budweiser, Becks, Leffe and Corona, among many others. The company has, of late, stalked rival SAB Miller, producer of Coors, Miller, Fosters, Peroni, Grolsch and plenty more. SAB Miller …
Simon Sharwood, 01 Aug 2016

The return of (drone) robot wars: Beware of low-flying freezers

Something for the Weekend, Sir? There was a time when I used to spend my free hours looking for a man. Oh yes, many a day I’d hang about aimlessly for hours, just waiting for the right man to turn up. Sometimes I’d look for a man in uniform, other times he’d in civvies, but all I wanted was the kind of man who would – well, how can I put this? – “deliver the …
Alistair Dabbs, 29 Jul 2016
Man drinks Beer. Photo by shutterstock

Calling all hipster... *hic* hip-hip-storians! Craft beer job spotted

Had enough of tech? Sporting a big or any kind of unlikely looking beard or interestingly dyed hair? El Reg has found the perfect new job where you’ll get paid handsomely to espouse the wonders of trendy beer. The Smithsonian Food History project at the National Museum of American History is looking for a professional hipster …
Paul Kunert, 26 Jul 2016
Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Episode 10 "I TOLD you, I HATE working on printers!" I seethe at the Boss. "It's just a bit of configuration," he wheedles, trying to make me feel better. "It's not a bit of bloody configuration, it's translation - from IT into printer manufacturer speak." The Boss is in a pickle. The printer company cretin came crawling around and …
Simon Travaglia, 22 Jul 2016

Need a Brain Lift? Welcome to the Reg Summer School

Reg Events Whether you’re getting ready to hit the beach, or just hit the sofa, holidays needn’t necessarily mean turning off your brain for the summer. But how to keep the grey cells ticking over while you’re topping up your tan - or just your gin and tonic? Well, you could do worse than dip into our repository of Register lectures, …
Joe Fay, 21 Jul 2016
Andy Stanford-Clark lecture

Reg readers head to pub to hear about the digital home

Reg Lecture Every inventor wants to build a better moustetrap, so it’s no surprise that IBM master inventor Andy Stanford-Clark make sure he applied his IoT expertise to inflicting mayhem on his unwanted mursine visitors. This was just one example deployed at his recent Register Summer Lecture. No one wants a dead mouse stinking up the …
Joe Fay, 20 Jul 2016

Correction: There was no hangman's noose, claims Hyperloop countersuit ... it was a cowboy's lasso

An extraordinary fight at tube-travel company Hyperloop One has hit warp speed with a court filing filled with more wild claims. Faced with accusations of physical threats, financial mismanagement and nepotism in a lawsuit from its former CTO Brogan BamBrogan, the company's management has fired back with a 46-page cross- …
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Jul 2016
A Go Board

Reg readers cluster in pub to ponder artificial intelligence

Reg Events If you’re worried about scientists developing a computer as smart as you are, relax. It’s likely but not certain that “human level” AI could be reached by the end of this century, Professor Murray Shanahan told an audience of eager Register readers at our second Summer lecture recently. However, once that milestone is reached …
Joe Fay, 14 Jul 2016
Pescara Beach, Italy

Please stop working and abuse your expense account at the beach

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, The Register's usually-on-a-Friday foray into readers' recollections of jobs gone wrong, gone weird or sometimes gone in places that defy even the most lurid imaginings. This week, On-Call has returned from a holiday find a mail bag full of emails from readers paid to do nothing. So in the interests …
Simon Sharwood, 11 Jul 2016

Pints on a plane!

Heineken and KLM have announced a plan to serve draft beer on some flights. The Dutch brewer has apparently figured out how to tap a keg in the sky, without requiring compressed CO2 cylinders (a no-no in flight) and without producing the foamy mess that happens when pouring a pint when air pressure is low. The fix turns out …
Simon Sharwood, 11 Jul 2016

You can’t sit there, my IoT desk tells me

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I don’t know what to do with my arse. Should I be swivelling on it? Should I do it leaning forward with pressure applied to the small of my back? Or would I be better advised to do the business standing up? For various reasons, I am in the market for a standing desk: that is, a desk that you can work at while standing upright …
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Jul 2016
Statler and Waldorf - copyright - The Walt Disney company - the muppets studio

Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

This week, Microsoft tried to connect with college-age kids, and it did not go over particularly well. An after-party invite sent out to interns in San Francisco tried its best to be cool, like fresh straight from the fridge daddy-o cool. The end result was predictable. My roommate received this email from a Microsoft …
Shaun Nichols, 07 Jul 2016

Bloke 'lobbed molotov cocktails' at Street View car because Google was 'watching him'

A man arrested for setting fire to one of Google's Street View cars has told the authorities he feared the company was watching him. Raul Diaz, 30, of Oakland, was arrested on Thursday outside Google's headquarters in Mountain View, California, after his car was flagged by security as similar to one that had been seen at three …
Kieren McCarthy, 06 Jul 2016
Angry man yelling on phone while reading vintage printer paper report. Photo by SHutterstock

Chilcot's IT spend: Tighter wallet than most public sector bods

Sir John Chilcot, who today delivered his much-awaited report into the Iraq war, ran an impressively tight ship when it came to IT spending. The IT and telecommunications spending for Chilcot’s six-volume, 2.6 million word report, which is published today, amounted to £695,300 over the Iraq Inquiry’s seven years of work, which …
Woman motorist waves from a red car. Photo by Shutterstock

What Brexit means for you as a motorist

The UK has voted in favour of leaving the European Union and in the past few days the markets have reacted violently, plunging the pound to its lowest level against the US dollar since the mid-1980s. Nobody’s really sure what the future holds for the UK or for its economy, but the referendum result has gone against the wishes …
Ryan McElroy, 29 Jun 2016

Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

Germany’s premier tabloid Bild has vowed to fulfil a series of promises if the Brits vote to remain in the EU, chief among them admitting Geoff Hurst’s disputed 1966 World Cup goal was over the line. With tongue firmly in cheek, the national daily swing into action today to convince any stragglers - using the country’s …
Paul Kunert, 23 Jun 2016

Utah sheriffs blow $10,000 on smut-sniffing Labrador

A sheriff’s department in Utah has spent $10,000 on black Labrador they say can sniff out porn and other illicit digital materials. The deployment of the black Lab, dubbed URL but pronounced Earl, in Weber County comes just months after Utah became the first state in the US to declare pornography a full-fledged public health …
Joe Fay, 23 Jun 2016
Ireland and Great Britain map, image via Shutterstock

Three non-obvious reasons to Vote Leave on the 23rd

Comment I'm just about old enough to remember the 1975 Europe referendum. Old enough to remember leaflets thudding onto the doormat (for every 'NO', there were three for ‘YES’). Most vividly of all I remember my father and our Austrian GP, who lived a few doors down in Teesside, discussing the EEC as he walked his dog past our house. …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Jun 2016
Man drinks Beer. Photo by shutterstock

Forget your stupid campus party. I'm going to Frankfurt to do some HPC

HPC Blog The world's attention will be focused on Frankfurt, Germany next week for the kick-off of the fifth annual ISC'16 Student Cluster Competition. Twelve teams of university undergraduates will travel from far and wide to prove their HPC and clustering prowess in a competition that will demand everything they have – and more. …
Hacker cons. Image: Darren Pauli

The rise and rise of Australia's community hacking conferences

Special report In Australia and New Zealand, hackers are doing it for themselves by creating vibrant security conferences that run on their own terms and actively avoid the corporate-speak and fear-mongering that characterises so many vendor-led events. These conferences, or "cons", are booming and showcase security skills that rival the …
Darren Pauli, 06 Jun 2016

Belgian brewery lays 3.2km beer pipeline

Bruges brewery De Halve Maan (The Half Moon) is about to open the valves on a €4m beer pipeline designed to carry vital supplies the 3.2km from its city centre production facility to its bottling plant. The subterranean ale conduit was the brainchild of De Halve Maan's head honcho Xavier Vanneste, who wanted a solution to the …
Lester Haines, 06 Jun 2016

Even in remotest Africa, Windows 10 nagware ruins your day: Update burns satellite link cash

When you're stuck in the middle of the Central African Republic (CAR) trying to protect the wildlife from armed poachers and the Lord's Resistance Army, then life's pretty tough. And now Microsoft has made it tougher with Windows 10 upgrades. The Chinko Project manages roughly 17,600 square kilometres (6,795 square miles) of …
Iain Thomson, 03 Jun 2016