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Articles about Woe

Woe, Daddy! GoDaddy customers wail as hosting service GOES TITSUP

Hosting outfit GoDaddy is suffering what appears to be a pretty widespread outage hitting website operators in the UK this morning. The company's own site was struggling to load at time of writing. A miserable message wrapped in a pink box on GoDaddy's support page coughs to a "known issue" with its hosting system. However, The …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Sep 2014
The Register breaking news

Windows Phone 8 reboot woe causes outpouring of forum misery

Early adopters of Windows Phone 8 hardware are complaining that it reboots at random, up to several times a day, and that they're not being offered any prospect of a quick fix. The complaints relate specifically to the HTC 8X and, to a lesser extent, Nokia's Lumia 920, with Windows Phone 8 locking up or randomly rebooting on …
Bill Ray, 19 Nov 2012
The Register breaking news

Help-desk hell: Can YOU beat this iPad-winning tale of woe?

A competition to find the best help-desk tale of despair, with an iPad up for grabs for the winner, has solicited a collection of bizarre and amusing anecdotes. Long-suffering IT technicians submitted their best yarns of dealing with users' problems to the "Confessions of an IT Professional" contest over the last two months. …
John Leyden, 30 Nov 2012
Qantas A380 tail

Data entry REAR-END SNAFU: Weighty ballsup leads to plane take-off flap

We're all accustomed to tales of woe that children are becoming too fat, but how about too-light kiddies spoiling the balance of an aircraft? An error at Australia's Canberra airport left a 168-seat Boeing 737 struggling to take off because a group of 87 schoolchildren was entered into the check-in system as adults. As noted in …

Sysadmins: Your best tale of woe wins a PRIZE

I'd like to share with you the plight of a good friend of mine. He's a systems administrator for a mid-sized American accounting firm. His story isn't particularly remarkable, but all the more important because of it. Bob has a bachelor's in computer science, and a lot more experience than I'd normally expect someone clutching …
Trevor Pott, 28 Jun 2012
Grumpy cat

Virgin Media goes titsup AGAIN. The cause? Yet MORE DNS strife

Virgin Media has declined to comment on yet another DNS outage that hit some of its subscribers on Monday night. The telco, when quizzed by The Register, admitted that it had suffered yet more downtime woe but refused to explain what was behind the company's recent network wobbles. A spokesman at the Liberty Global-owned cable …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Jul 2014

Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs

Apple fanbois have erupted in rage after an update bricked their Macbook Airs. On the official Apple support forum, dozens of angry customers claimed that the latest software update for the 2011 Macbook Air had gone horribly wrong. Some posters said their Airs had been totally borked by the update, while others reported …
Jasper Hamill, 23 Jul 2014
Telephone

BT FON fail: Telco CHARGES customers for FREE Wi-Fi usage

Telecoms giant BT has admitted charging a number of customers for the traffic racked up by its FON services, which uses a portion of each customer's Wi-Fi connection to provide hotspots accessible to the public. A few weeks ago The Register reported that bungling cops in the grim north of England didn't understand the idea …
Jasper Hamill, 06 Aug 2014

Plusnet goes titsup for spectacular hour-long wobble

Plusnet's broadband and phone service is slowing coming back to life, after the telco's network suffered a nasty hour-long outage this morning. The BT-owned firm did not cough to the cause of the downtime, which struck customers at 9:30am, but it did confirm that subscribers would struggle to get online. Anecdotal reports on …
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Mar 2014
Edward Snowden

Snowden on NSA's MonsterMind TERROR: It may trigger cyberwar

Rogue NSA sysadmin Edward Snowden says his former employer has developed software that will automatically attack foreign computers deemed to be a threat – without checking in with a human first. The system, dubbed MonsterMind, is designed to detect strikes against key US servers and block the assaults as quickly as possible. But …
Iain Thomson, 13 Aug 2014

A sysadmin's top ten tales of woe

Get enough people of any profession in one room and the conversation drifts inexorably towards horror stories. Everyone loves a good “…and then it all went horribly sideways” yarn, and we all have more than one. The IT profession is flush with tales of woe. There are no upper boundaries on ignorance or inability. From common …
Trevor Pott, 14 Jun 2011

EBay, you keep using the word 'SECURITY'. I do not think it means what you think it means

eBay‬ has told people to change their passwords for the online tat bazaar after its customer database was compromised. Names, dates of birth, phone numbers, physical addresses, email addresses, and "encrypted" passwords, were copied from servers by attackers, we're told. Credit card numbers and other financial records were not …
John Leyden, 21 May 2014

FREEZE, GLASSHOLE! California cops bust Google Glass driver

California cops have issued what is thought to be the first ticket for wearing Google's head-mounted Glass computers while driving. "A cop just stopped me and gave me a ticket for wearing Google Glass while driving!" said Cecilia Abadie on her Google+ page. "The exact line says: Driving with Monitor visible to Driver (Google …
Iain Thomson, 30 Oct 2013
BlackBerry bleeding

BlackBerry's AD BLITZ: Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated

BlackBerry is taking out full-page adverts in 30 newspapers across nine countries - to reassure everyone that it hasn't flatlined, not yet anyway. "You've no doubt seen the headlines about BlackBerry," read the ads, which will run from Tuesday. "You're probably wondering what they mean for you as one of the tens of millions of …
Iain Thomson, 14 Oct 2013
Nevada plate for Google car

'Disruptive innovation' is nonsense? Not ALWAYS, actually

If the theory of disruptive innovation is wrong then why do companies act as if it's true? Proof is rather in the pudding after all..... The latest topical shouting match in my corner of the economics-meets-tech world is an essay by Jill Lepore in the New Yorker. All this talk of “disruptive innovation” is just that – talk – …
Tim Worstall, 02 Jul 2014

The Reg Quid-a-Day Nosh challenge: What's the point, exactly?

It's been an entertaining week so far for the El Reg Quid-a-Day Nosh Posse, as team members battle to survive on just £1 per day for food as part of the Live Below the Line challenge. Calorific intake concerns aside, we've managed to knock up a few decent meals, and even forage a bit of extra nutrition. Of course, living for …
Lester Haines, 30 Apr 2014
BBC iPlayer

iOS services intended solely for diagnostics: 'I don’t buy it for a minute'

This was the week when Edward Snowden revealed that not only is the National Security Agency (NSA) snooping on everyone, violating their privacy and raking through their online information, they’re also sniggering at their nudie pics. Snowden told The Guardian that one of the “perks” of the job of snooping on everyone’s web data …
School of Rock

Brain surgery? Would sir care for a CHOC-ICE with that?

Another Easter, another long weekend, another splurge of CVs sent into the ether. Englishmen joke about Bank Holidays reliably bringing rain but the other thing you can count on following a public holiday is an exodus of staff seeking pastures new – or rather, pastures less strewn with the rank, metaphoric faeces of their …
Alistair Dabbs, 25 Apr 2014
Picture by Afonso Lima

The internet just BROKE under its own weight – we explain how

On Tuesday, 12 August, 2014, the internet hit an arbitrary limit of more than 512,000 routes. This 512K route limit is something we have known about for some time. The fix for Cisco devices – and possibly others – is fairly straightforward. Internet service providers and businesses around the world chose not to address this …
Trevor Pott, 13 Aug 2014
Warning Go

More woe for SCO as Nasdaq says 'go'

Battered unix patent warrior SCO has been booted from the Nasdaq after it lost an appeal against delisiting by the New York technology market. SCO told the SEC on Thursday about its latest defeat in regulatory filing. Nasdaq first showed SCO the door when it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in September. The firm told …
Richard Bedford's bacon on a roll with melted cheese

Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

In devastating news for bacon sarnie lovers, boffins have warned of the potentially deadly effects of overdoing it on processed meat products. The chilling results of a Europe-wide survey conclude that those scoffing more than 20g of processed meat a day - equivalent to one meagre rasher of bacon - were at increased risk of …
Lester Haines, 07 Mar 2013
The Register breaking news

Heroku PaaS floats over to Europe

Heroku's platform-as-a-service cloud has come to Europe, giving local developers a chance to reduce the latency of applications they've stuck on top of the application automation technology. The Salesforce-owned company announced on Thursday that brave devs can try serving their apps from Ireland rather than America, if they …
Jack Clark, 24 Apr 2013
The Register breaking news

Zynga banks fluke profit - won't happen again, says CEO

Top dogs at Zynga say the online gaming firm just needs a little more time to turn around its losing streak - after forecasting worse losses than expected for this year's second quarter. The struggling FarmVille maker managed to scrape together a surprise profit for the first three months of this year after cutting costs, but it …
The Register breaking news

Sky rudely barges TalkTalk off the top-three UK ISP podium

The decline and fall of TalkTalk sales each quarter is becoming a regular tale of woe for the budget telco, which this morning told the City that revenues had once again gone south as the company bled yet more punters. The numbers also tell another story: TalkTalk is no longer the third-biggest ISP in the country. That accolade …
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Nov 2012
The Register breaking news

Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

A disabled French driver was taken on a 200km/h white-knuckle ride by his "insane" Renault, as a quick shopping trip turned into a high-speed, 210 km jaunt to Belgium. Frank Lecerf, 36, left Pont-de-Metz, close to Amiens, in his Renault Laguna 3 to hit the shops in nearby Dury. His route took in a short section of the A16 …
Lester Haines, 15 Feb 2013
IBM graphene broadband frequency mixer

Australia downloads a limping 13 Mbps, says Ookla

There are, it seems, 44 countries in the world with better broadband download speeds than Australia, according to the latest Netindex release by Ookla. This has brought a predictable round of soul-searching, particularly as Mongolia appears higher on the list than Australia (it scored an average speed of 13.79 Mbps, while …
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

What if Microsoft announced it's not ending support for Windows XP next Tuesday after all, and instead will offer perpetual updates (for a small fee, of course). Something inside me, somewhere between my sense of humor and soul-crushing cynicism, drove me to turn that dream into an April Fool for this year. But all cruel joking …
Trevor Pott, 02 Apr 2014
Apple iPad Mini

Panel production problems may stop iPad Minis getting into fans' mitts

Woe to you, Apple fanboy, you may not be able to get your hands on a shiny new iPad Mini because Apple may not be able to ship enough of them to go round. So says DisplaySearch, a market watcher, which reckons supply will be constrained by LCD panel makers’ inability to sent enough 8.9in, 1024 x 768 screens to Apple. Screen …
Tony Smith, 24 Oct 2012
The Register breaking news

Salesforce: Internet of Things is 'third wave of computing'

Salesforce is desperate for more of the world to get wired up with little sensors, so it can get at this data and hook it into its suite of technologies, then sell companies on the benefits of an increasingly data-led sales strategy. This lust for an instrumented world was outlined by Salesforce chief executive Marc Benioff in …
Jack Clark, 23 Apr 2013
Speedball

Globe grabbin,’ sphere slammin’, orb-tossin’, pill poppin’... Speedball

When the Commodore Amiga and Atari ST together ruled the home computing scene, video games were a long way from the million dollar money-spinners they have become. Getting public and media attention for a game wasn’t easy, but one of the more effective techniques employed by game designers was to create titles that took ‘ …
Giles Hill, 27 Jan 2014
Thanks from Facebook employees

Facebook's IPO was a disaster? RUBBISH, you FOOLS

Woe, woe and thrice woe unto the capitalist system: for Facebook's IPO has been a failure. Mere months after they floated the thing off, the share price is under half what it was and this is indeed, as those like The Guardian tell us, a large and serious problem, prompting headlines such as: Why has Facebook's stock market …
Tim Worstall, 10 Nov 2012
The Register breaking news

Yahoo! webmail! hijacks! are! back!...

Yahoo! has blamed cross-site scripting security bugs, which it claims to have squashed, for a recent upsurge in webmail account takeovers. Over the last few days several Reg readers have been in touch to complain that their Yahoo! webmail accounts have been hijacked or to point us towards complaints on various support forums …
John Leyden, 08 Mar 2013
The Register breaking news

Top Rambus attack dog Harold Hughes to retire

Rambus CEO Harold Hughes is stepping down - causing grief, devastation and woe in intellectual property lawyers' offices across the USA. Since 2005 he has led the memory technology firm, well-known for its litigious endeavours, and will stay in post until a successor is found. A search is underway. In a canned statement, he …
Chris Mellor, 28 Feb 2012
The Register breaking news

No-go woe for doughnut co after Vo-Vo blow

An Australian biscuit maker has launched a legal challenge to a new doughnut by US manufacturer Krispy Kreme, claiming that the confectionery infringes its trade mark rights. Australia's Arnott's has been making the Vo-Vo biscuit for over a hundred years and registered the name as a trade mark in 1906. One variant is the Iced Vo …
OUT-LAW.COM, 29 Apr 2009

IBM borgs StoredIQ for big data build-out

Everybody is crazy about storing any kind of data their employees and systems generate in the hopes that they can turn all that big data into money. But the dirty little secret is that this hoarding tendency has risks as well as rewards. Keeping some kinds of data is as financially harmful as not processing other kinds. And that …
Workers in a Foxconn plant, credit: Steve Jurvetson from Menlo Park, USA

Labour groups booted out of China's tech boom town

Non-governmental organisations (NGOs) in China’s technology boom town of Shenzhen are up in arms after a sustained and co-ordinated campaign by local authorities forced more than ten to shutter their doors. The Special Economic Zone of Shenzhen is home to one of China’s biggest technology manufacturing hubs, but workers’ rights …
Phil Muncaster, 12 Sep 2012
The Register breaking news

Fans revolt over Amazon 'adware' in Ubuntu desktop search results

Ubuntu loyalists are furious that shopping suggestions from Amazon will be plonked into desktop search results, shown when users attempt to find stuff on their computers and the local network. Canonical, the company behind the GNU/Linux distro, has done a deal with the web bazaar to suggest products worth buying to punters. …
Anna Leach, 24 Sep 2012

Big Switch Networks quits OEM-led SDN scheme

Big Switch Networks, a startup with everything to gain from adoption of its software defined networking (SDN) technology, has left an SDN group dominated by traditional OEMs who had much to lose, after the group went with Cisco's tech over Big Switch's as the base of an SDN spec. Big Switch announced on Wednesday that it was …
Jack Clark, 06 Jun 2013
JC Boyle saluting device patent

Tales from an expert witness: Prior art and patent trolls

John Watkinson is an expert witness and on many occasions has had to deal with patent litigation. Here he describes the application of ideas in the art of invention both historically and currently from Galileo to patent trolls. A patent is a form of contract between society and the inventor that benefits both. In return for …
John Watkinson, 15 Jan 2014

You MERCILESS FIEND... you put that audio file on AUTOPLAY

It was a quiet morning at the office. The early risers among the team were settling gently at their desks and discreetly going about their business. All that could be heard was the swish of papers, the soft clicking of mice and several varieties of birdsong. Birdsong? I thought I might be suffering the effects of the previous …
Alistair Dabbs, 26 Jul 2013
The Register breaking news

EU greases up orphan works copyright loophole for Big Culture

The European Parliament has voted to approve new copyright rules on artistic works that can't be identified, so-called 'orphan works'. The proposals allows Big Culture to digitise works protected by copyright. The proposal does not permit commercial exploitations of the unidentified works, except by museums, archives and …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Sep 2012
cray cascade mountain

Cray to plug Kepler GPUs into future Cascade supers

Cray's next-generation "Cascade" supercomputer is based on a future Intel "Ivy Bridge" Xeon processors, and the company has just taken $140m from Chipzilla in exchange for the intellectual property and people associated with its "Gemini" and "Aries" supercomputer interconnects. So it was no surprise that Cray talked about using …
chart

Tosh Thai hard drive plant swamped

Toshiba is facing a long-term shutdown of its Thai disk drive plant due to more than a metre of water in the factory. The waterlogged fab is in the Navanakorn Industrial Estate Zone, next door to a flooded Western Digital plant. Toshiba said the depth of water has damaged machinery in the assembly line. It is working to prepare …
Chris Mellor, 24 Oct 2011
The Register breaking news

More chip vendor woe

Chartered Semiconductor, the custom chip manufacturer, warned yesterday that next year's sales and profits would not meet expectations. The company blamed falling demand in the PC and cellular phone market for its revised forecasts. It had expected sales to rise by 40 per cent over the next year and, despite issuing the warning …
Lucy Sherriff, 21 Dec 2000
Wi-Fi

At last! The Wi-Fi chip that'll beam video from mobe to telly

Marvell's latest Avastar chipset and TI's next-generation silicon will stream video to a TV, projector or similar over Wi-Fi Direct while maintaining a separate wireless network connection. But why? So you can ensure what's being shown on your touchscreen tablet can be seen on the family telly or lecture hall wall, provided you' …
Bill Ray, 08 Jun 2012
BlackBerry

RIM confirms 'limited' BlackBerry Playbook recall

Research in Motion has confirmed claims that a number of 16GB BlackBerry PlayBook tablets are faulty and must be recalled. An RIM insider told Engadget that nearly a thousand of the dodgy tablets were shipped to Staples last week, and that the US retailer was taking steps to recall purchased units. RIM PlayBook RIM has since …
Caleb Cox, 16 May 2011
The Register breaking news

'Facebook is completely undreamt of even by the worst spying nation'

This was the week when Google+ head Bradley Horowitz told the world that that whole Facebook thing was soooo last year. According to the +er, Facebook is the "social network of the past", mainly because Zuck's ad strategies are so intrusive they're putting people off. When people are online socialising, they should really be …
cloud

Tech Data laughs at world market meltdown

Tech Data sailed its calendar Q2 sales and profits safely through into the sunny waters of double-digit growth aided by a favourable currency tailwind despite severe undertow from ebbing economies on both sides of the Atlantic. The great IT distie ark managed to grow sales 18 per cent to $6.45bn as operating profits climbed 20 …
Paul Kunert, 18 Aug 2011
channel

Oh Woe is Siebel

Siebel has blamed poor execution and weak demand for its expected first quarter loss, ending a fragile recovery of the firm's finances. In its preliminary results announcement, the California-based business software firm said it expects revenues of between $297m and $300m for the first quarter. This compares to revenues of $329 …
The Register breaking news

Google unfurls Dead Sea Scrolls

As if there weren't enough strange rantings on the internet already, Google has just uploaded five of the Dead Sea Scrolls in super high resolution. Of course, the Dead Sea Scrolls are strange rantings that – unlike your average YouTube contribution – are of great historic and religious significance. The scrolls were written 2, …
Anna Leach, 26 Sep 2011