Articles about Tube

Microsoft offers admins free Win 10 upgrade lube

Microsoft has offered free lubricant to ease the insertion of Windows 10 across PC fleets. Redmond's preferred wheel-greaser is called the Upgrade Analytics tool will help admins evaluate system readiness for Windows 10 in a bid to ease driver drama and kernel panics. The ointment provides admins with a panel showing the …
Darren Pauli, 26 Jul 2016

Correction: There was no hangman's noose, claims Hyperloop countersuit ... it was a cowboy's lasso

An extraordinary fight at tube-travel company Hyperloop One has hit warp speed with a court filing filled with more wild claims. Faced with accusations of physical threats, financial mismanagement and nepotism in a lawsuit from its former CTO Brogan BamBrogan, the company's management has fired back with a 46-page cross- …
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Jul 2016
Computer mouse  connected to a rolled up newspaper with the headline Tech News

Rubrik's tube: Pure play

Rubrik's r300/r500 Series backup appliances now go faster with Pure Storage FlashArray //m arrays in front of them, claims the vendor. The appliances (specs here (pdf)) are called Converged Data Management systems and provide an on-premises and scale-out system that offers backup, claimed instant recovery, data orchestration, …
Chris Mellor, 18 Jul 2016

Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

Access to YouTube, Facebook and Twitter is blocked in Turkey tonight amid an ongoing attempted military coup in the NATO nation. The cyber-blockade has failed to prevent pictures from the unfolding uprising spilling onto the internet, though. An intervention by a faction of the country's armed forces is underway right now as …
Shaun Nichols, 15 Jul 2016

Hyperloop One lynched in hangman lawsuit

Tensions at the tube-traveling startup Hyperloop One have burst into the open with a lawsuit alleging physical threats, financial mismanagement and a sugardaddy chairman leaving a hangman's noose on a cofounder's chair. The lawsuit [PDF] was brought before a Los Angeles court yesterday by Hyperloop cofounder Brogan BamBrogan, …
Katyanna Quach, 13 Jul 2016

Bloke 'lobbed molotov cocktails' at Street View car because Google was 'watching him'

A man arrested for setting fire to one of Google's Street View cars has told the authorities he feared the company was watching him. Raul Diaz, 30, of Oakland, was arrested on Thursday outside Google's headquarters in Mountain View, California, after his car was flagged by security as similar to one that had been seen at three …
Kieren McCarthy, 06 Jul 2016
Vuture Velo cycling jersey

Magnetic, heat scanners to catch Tour de France electric motor cheats

Extra technology is being wheeled out for this year's Tour de France to scan bikes for hidden electric engines. In the past few years, there have been several cases of cyclists concealing small battery-powered motors in the tubes of their velocipedes to give a bit of extra speed during competitions. To protect the integrity …
Iain Thomson, 27 Jun 2016

Major Tim Peake comes home to a gastronaut's Sunday roast

What better way for Major Tim Peake to celebrate his homecoming after six months in space than with buckets of meat and veg - a roast dinner - strategically placed on a giant plate to look like him. Peake, who touched down on terra firma in Kazakhstan at the weekend, previously listed the Sunday favourite as his top nosh and …
Paul Kunert, 20 Jun 2016

Belgian brewery lays 3.2km beer pipeline

Bruges brewery De Halve Maan (The Half Moon) is about to open the valves on a €4m beer pipeline designed to carry vital supplies the 3.2km from its city centre production facility to its bottling plant. The subterranean ale conduit was the brainchild of De Halve Maan's head honcho Xavier Vanneste, who wanted a solution to the …
Lester Haines, 06 Jun 2016
Mickey Mouse watch. Pic: Joe Haupt

Smartwatches: I hate to say ‘I told you so’. But I told you so.

Comment If you work in software, I’ll bet you worked on a project like this. It’s where dozens, or even hundreds of people are involved in the spec process, and what tumbles out is a monster that nobody ever wanted. The IA-432 processor, Intel’s first pre-Itanic disaster, was a classic example. It was a tabula rasa, and every …
Andrew Orlowski, 02 Jun 2016
Monster 6502 board

Chaps make working 6502 CPU by hand. Because why not?

The 6502 CPU is a fondly-remembered CPU* for good reason: along with chips from Motorola, Intel and Zilog, it helped create the personal computer business in the 1980s. However, this project is affection on a grand scale: some US enthusiasts are creating a transistor-for-transistor replica of the chip's design using discrete …
Hyperloop

First successful Hyperloop test module hits 100mph in four seconds

Spectators in the Nevada desert have witnessed the first public test of a Hyperloop test vehicle as it accelerated from zero to over 100 miles per hour in a few seconds before running out of track. The vehicle, built by Hyperloop One (formerly Hyperloop Technologies), is intended to show off that the technology publicized by …
Iain Thomson, 12 May 2016
Smartphone user on Tube

Reduced roaming charges, net neutrality come into force in EU

EU telecoms providers must cut surcharges for 'roaming' phone calls and data use in EU countries from 30 April, in preparation for the complete abolition of roaming charges in June 2017. Until June 2017, telecoms providers will be allowed to charge up to five cents per minute on top of domestic prices, and up to two cents per …
OUT-LAW.COM, 05 May 2016
The original Sinclair ZX Spectrum

ZX Printer's American cousin still in use, 34 years after purchase

Emails are still trickling in with readers trying to trump the almost nineteen-year-old server we found was just being decommissioned back in January. A recent missive from reader Ian piqued our interest because it said he's still running a Timex Sinclair 2040 printer bought in 1982! The 2040's a thermal printer based on the …
Simon Sharwood, 05 May 2016

'Fart detector' wins Chinese Physics prize

China has awarded a prestigious “Pineapple Prize” to a fart-detector. The Pineapple Prizes are organised by Guokr.com, a Chinese popular science publication that named the award after the fruit which in China is said to be so ugly that only the brave and curious would explore its delicious interior. The prizes therefore look …
Simon Sharwood, 11 Apr 2016
Rafael Lozano_Hemmer: Surface Tension (1992)

Electronic Superhighway 2016-1966 – a retro: Texts, ar*se and ASCII rolls

Pics A large photo of a woman's bottom greets you as you walk in. Chat messages are emerging from it. Not to worry, it's only Olaf Breuning's mischievous "Text Butt" (2015). Immediately to your left is Joana Hadjithomas and Khalil Joreige's Geometry of Space (2014), a mixed-media installation comprising stretched oxidised steel, …
Alistair Dabbs, 21 Mar 2016

Hi-def ExoMars launch vid lacks volcanic lair vibe

We're obliged to those readers who pointed us in the direction of a hi-def vid of yesterday's ExoMars mission launch, in which Europe's Trace Gas Orbiter (TGO) and Schiaparelli "entry, descent and landing demonstrator module" (EDM) thundered aloft from Baikonur Cosmodrome atop a Proton-M rocket. Magnificent, but compare that …
Lester Haines, 15 Mar 2016

LOHAN sponsor knocks up nifty iMac fish tank

It's a tip of the hat today to Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) sponsor Lucidica for demonstrating an entertaining way to fill the time while waiting for Federal Aviation Administration approval for an audacious rocket-powered spaceplane launch. There are basically two ways you can handle the FAA "long silence": go …
Lester Haines, 04 Mar 2016

BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

Episode 3 You know what it's like. The Boss asks you some technical question, you give him a non-technical answer and he suddenly thinks you're lying to him – or worse – that you don't know what you're talking about. He needs it explained to him in a manner that sounds technical, but isn't too technical for him to stack overflow. ON A …
Simon Travaglia, 26 Feb 2016

Firemen free chap's todger from four-ring chokehold

Firemen from the Spanish town of Dénia, in Alicante, enjoyed an entertaining shout last week when they were called to remove four steel rings from the base of an unfortunate chap's todger. An unnamed 40-year-old foreigner rolled up at the local hospital in the early hours of Friday morning, unable to extract his member from …
Lester Haines, 10 Feb 2016
Tube sign and Big Ben. Pic: Sgt Tom Robinson RLC/Crown copyright

Big Ben belittled by Infosys' plans for enormous erection

Infosys, which reckons its Mysuru education centre is the world's largest corporate university, says it's going to build a 135-metre clock tower there. The massive erection would shade London's 96 metre Big Ben, California's 87m Hoover Tower and Cornell's 53m McGraw Tower, says India's Economic Times. Why does Infosys need …

El Reg nips down to the Hewlett You Inn?

When readers recently decided that Hewlett Packard Enterprise's private London drinking club should be dubbed the "Hewlett You Inn?", we promised to knock up some artwork for the boozer and deliver it to the door of HPE's shiny new HQ at One Aldermanbury Square. Here are said premises during refurbishment last November, when …
Lester Haines, 01 Feb 2016

'Blue light services will get 4G on London Tube!' Cool, how? 'Errrrm...'

The government's contentious Emergency Services Network deal, intended to provide 4G coverage and devices for all blue light services, will be able to run on the London Underground, the man in charge of the scheme has insisted. Stephen Webb, senior responsible owner of the ESN deal, said: "We will have a solution that works on …
Kat Hall, 29 Jan 2016
blackberry_slider_tease_648

Post-nuptial BlackBerry gives birth to Good-looking offspring

BlackBerry completed the $425m acquisition of former bitter rival Good and announced the fruit of their loins today. With plenty of overlap between the two, what's been culled? It's hard to know at this stage, but BlackBerry says the new products reflect BlackBerry's strengths in MDM (mobile device management) and Good's …
Andrew Orlowski, 26 Jan 2016

BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

Episode 1 "Why does it always have to be so difficult with you guys?" the new Boss asks. "What do you mean?" the PFY says. "Difficult. Why is it that whenever we have some suggestion and take it to you, you spend all your time thinking of reasons why you can't do it – or why we shouldn't do it – or something like that. Why can't you …
Simon Travaglia, 22 Jan 2016
ENIAC

Fan belts only exist, briefly, in the intervals between stars

Book review It's a full four years since it was published, but Reg contributor Geoffrey G Rochat has finally gotten around to reading George Dyson's worthy tome Turing’s Cathedral. He finds it's not just a Best Book list lurker, but something actually worth reading. Ostensibly about the beginnings of computers, Turing’s Cathedral is chock- …
Ada Lovelace, credit 2D Goggles

Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

A few of computing’s most vivid characters have become cultural icons. Most are from the last few decades, such as Steve Jobs and Alan Turing, but last month the University of Oxford held an academic symposium to mark the 200th birthday of one of the first: Ada, Countess of Lovelace, born on 10 December, 1815. Her …
SA Mathieson, 08 Jan 2016
Long exposure shot showing patterns made my moving lightsabers

How to build a real lightsabre

As even casual Star Wars fans will know, lightsabers are probably the coolest weapon ever to make an appearance on the big screen. Lightsaber fights are so elegant that they are almost hypnotic and, even though not all of us might have a strong enough flow of Force running through our veins, a lightsaber in the right hands is …
Gianluca Sarri, 15 Dec 2015
Darth Vader choking someone

Motorola’s X Force awakens a seemingly ‘shatterproof’ future

Review Here's one of the year's major surprises, and it's a nice one, in the shape of the latest high-end Motorola. It's already attracted acres of mainstream press coverage and that's before it's even generally available. It's the Motorola X Force, and it's the phone that the Daily Mail ran a truck over ... and the display came out …
Andrew Orlowski, 09 Dec 2015

So why exactly are IT investors so utterly clueless?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Are you thick or what? No, really, how else can you explain why you invest vast sums of money on daft schemes that nobody wants? Long-time readers of this column may remember my little Tech City adventure a while back, in which I managed 2,000 sq ft of chic hipster office floorspace in the heart of London’s so-called "silicon …
Alistair Dabbs, 27 Nov 2015

Terrorists seek to commit deadly 'cyber attacks' in UK, says Chancellor Osborne

Following Prime Minister David Cameron's re-announcement of funding increases for UK security personnel, Chancellor George Osborne delivered a speech today to GCHQ workers explaining that the increase is necessary as ISIL is seeking to "develop the capability" to launch deadly cyber attacks against British infrastructure. How …

Reg reader post-pub chef brews superscharf currywurst

It's agreeable to get a bit of feedback on our post-pub wobbly dining delights, and we're always keen to hear just how readers get on with our recipes. Last week, we presented for your eating pleasure the German classic currywurst, and quicker than we could say Currysoße, Sir Sham Cad reported back on his own hot pig-in-a-tube …
Lester Haines, 24 Oct 2015
Torus

You know what storage needs? More doughnuts to flatten us up

The hierarchy of adapters, switches, routers and directors involved in storage networking is unwieldy, complex and costly and needs replacing with a flatter scheme of direct connections between servers and storage devices. That’s the networking message from start-up Rockport Networks. It says that current fat tree and spine- …
Chris Mellor, 19 Oct 2015

Post-pub schnellnosh neckfiller: Currywurst

This week's foray into the wonderful world of post-pub nosh examines a street food classic from the undisputed masters of pig-in-a-tube products - the Germans. While Germany is famed for its wursts, it took a post-war fusion cuisine experiment to push the envelope of wobbly dining invention and create the legandary "currywurst …
Lester Haines, 17 Oct 2015
Passenger plane exploding on the gournd

Self-driving vehicles might be autonomous but insurance pay-outs probably won't be

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I enjoy travel but I do not fly well – especially if the aeroplane’s wings are rusted, the tail has been attached with vinegar and brown paper, and the undercarriage is still sitting in the ditch it fell into at the end of the departure airport’s runway some 300 miles away. As you might have guessed, I am a big fan of the TV …
Alistair Dabbs, 17 Oct 2015

Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

Review So, um, I love the Amazon Echo. For those of you already frothing at the mouth in righteous indignation, please feel free to scroll to the bottom right away, click "Post a comment" and vent about privacy, Jeff Bezos' secret police, and whatever else is bothering. Meanwhile, for the rest of you, let's get straight to it: the …
Kieren McCarthy, 16 Oct 2015
The Seeing Eye by Valerie Everett, Flickr, CC2.0

Where will storage go over the next 15 years? We rub our crystal ball

Analysis Let’s fly up to 20,000 feet and survey the storage landscape from there, and then stay at that height until 2030. What will we see? Our starting view is utterly basic and pretty reasonable. Most of the storage equipment is based on disk and most of it is on-premises. Some of the data is being stored in flash and some of the …
Chris Mellor, 15 Oct 2015
IBM generic nanotube image

Big Blue welds bits of carbon for nanotube transistor

IBM has fetched out the hand-on-a-stick to give its back a pat over what it calls a “breakthrough” in carbon nanotube electronics: making a nano-scale contact whose resistance doesn't rise as its size is squeezed. As part of the world's long search for technologies that can stave off The End of Moore's LawTM, and carbon nano- …
A bee covered with pollen on a flower

Get ready for a grim future where BEES have SHORTER TONGUES

Humanity may have to live in a terrifying future where bumblebees have shorter tongues unless the menace of global warming can be abated, a new scientific study suggests. Ace bumblebee researchers reveal to a flabbergasted world today, courtesy of the learned journal Science: We found that in two alpine bumble bee species, …
Lewis Page, 25 Sep 2015
Amstrad PCW 8256 running locoscrip

'A word processor so simple my PA could use it': Joyce turns 30

Archaeologic The Amstrad PCW8256 turns 30 this month. In eighteen months it did for the typewriter what the car took thirty years to do for the pony and trap. Alan Sugar’s specification was simple – “A word processor so simple Joyce could use it”. Joyce Caley was his formidable PA and "Joyce" became the codename for the project – and the …
Simon Rockman, 09 Sep 2015

Spaniard claims WWII WAR HERO pigeon code crack. Explain please

A 22-year old Spaniard claims that he's cracked a previously unsolved WWII coded message. Others have claimed this before and there's nothing particularly solid to back up the latest effort, but let's have a look at it anyway. Dídac Sánchez claims that he had cracked the encryption scheme used in the last undeciphered message …
John Leyden, 28 Aug 2015
One Nation Under CCTV

Safe as houses: CCTV for the masses

Feature The technology to keep our homes safe has been remarkably static over the years. Most alarms still rely on the same tried and trusted techniques to work out if there's someone in your home when there shouldn't be. Typically they rely on motion detectors, door and window sensors, or pressure mats. Oh and you can have fancy light …
Nigel Whitfield, 08 Aug 2015

Hacking Trump: Can we not label web vandalism as 'terrorism', please?

Sysadmin Blog American politics are something of a national sport in Canada. No matter who runs for either side, Canadians throw popcorn at the screen and try to pretend our choices are any better. We debate the relative merits of the boob tube's highest stakes biennial reality TV soap opera. Things can get heated, sometimes, but we enjoy …
Trevor Pott, 03 Aug 2015

El Reg touches down at the ESA's Spanish outpost, sniffs around

Pics "Are you really going to wear that into the canteen?" That was the perfectly reasonable question posed by Emmet Fletcher, communication officer at the European Space Astronomy Centre (ESAC) as my nephew Matt Haines braced himself for lunch sporting a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) lab coat and pipe. Back in April …
Lester Haines, 31 Jul 2015
Engineer aboard Das Boot U-96 responds to telegraphs

Rise of the swimming machines: US sub launches and recovers a drone

The US Navy has successfully launched and returned an underwater drone during an undersea mission in the Mediterranean. Virginia-class attack submarine the USS North Dakota (SSN-784), was deployed to the Mediterranean for two months. She returned to base on Monday after a successful test of her drone-launching capability, …
2001: A Space Odyssey

Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Error 51: Consult service manual. Error 51? Is that supposed to be a joke? I mean, it sounds like a bad pun on “Area 51”. Oh, those wacky error-message coders on the firmware development team, they kill me, they really do. Let’s try again. Print. Error 51: Consult service manual. Come on, come on, don’t give me that. …
Alistair Dabbs, 18 Jul 2015
Rotten apple. Pic: Shutterstock (http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-29447929/stock-photo-a-rotten-apple-on-a-white-background.html)

HSBC takes Twitter tongue-lashing over failure to offer Apple Pay

Apple Pay has upset a few people already. People who can’t get to work, people who’ve been charged twice, and people who bank with HSBC. HSBC has felt the wrath of Apple fanbois for failing to launch Apple Pay, with negative tweets about the bank outnumbering positive ones five to one on the day of launch. These are the …
Simon Rockman, 17 Jul 2015
Tube sign and Big Ben. Pic: Sgt Tom Robinson RLC/Crown copyright

TfL to splash £400m on networking deal, despite GDS opposition

Transport for London (TfL) has opened its wallet and invited suppliers to reach in and grab £400m under a networking deal. The scope of the deal is for a single supplier to provide access network and wide area network services as a managed service. It'll be a "major element" of the department's plan to disaggregate its …
Kat Hall, 08 Jul 2015
7/7 London bombings headlines. Pic credit: Elly Waterman under cc 3.0

7/7 memories: I was on a helpdesk that day and one of my users died

Ten years ago today I was sitting at my IT support desk at an ad agency in central London – covering the early shift and waiting for the first calls of the morning to come in from tired, agitated users. But on that day, the phones remained eerily silent and as the minutes ticked by none of my fellow techies had yet turned up …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Jul 2015
shutterstock_263560157-nfc

Apple fanbois to be empowered to bonk each other

Apple has filed a patent which uses NFC and Bluetooth to transfer funds when you bonk two iPhones together. The technology doesn’t use the NFC radio to transfer the funds: it’s done either over the air or by Bluetooth. The NFC is used to establish the veracity of the two ends and to encrypt the data using the secure element. …
Simon Rockman, 06 Jul 2015