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Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

A software engineer is calling on netizens opposed to Donald Trump to visit the Whitehouse.gov site and overload it with traffic tomorrow. The call to mark inauguration day by "occupying" whitehouse.gov as a form of protest against Donald Trump’s presidency is likely to succeed only in getting participants into trouble, …
John Leyden, 19 Jan 2017
match

Japan tries to launch satellite on rocket the size of a telegraph pole

From plants to pocket-sized radios, Japan has a long history of miniaturisation, but its first attempt to shrink a satellite-launching rocket has ended with the launcher ditching into the sea. The 2.6-tonne SS-520-4, about the size of a power pole, is a sounding rocket platform JAXA had hoped would set the record for the …
Jimmy Wales, photo via Shutterstock

Happy birthday: Jimbo Wales' sweet 16 Wikipedia fails

Sixteen years ago, Larry Sanger had the idea for a wiki-based encyclopaedia anyone could edit: the "wiki-pedia". On January 15, 2001, he and Jimmy Wales launched the site. Today, it's everyone's go-to place for quick factlets. Wikipedia's convenience is undeniable. But its anonymously compiled content has flaws and quirks …
Andreas Kolbe, 16 Jan 2017
A group of hipster teens excludes the onlooker. Photo by shutterstock

Top cop: Strap Wi-Fi jammers to teen web crims as punishment

+Comment The president of top cops’ trade union the Police Superintendents’ Association (PSA) has suggested that teens convicted of computer-based crimes should be fitted with ankle-mounted Wi-Fi jammers. Speaking to the Daily Telegraph over the weekend, Chief Superintendent Gavin Thomas said: “If you have got a 16-year-old who has …
Gareth Corfield, 09 Jan 2017

Why the UK is unlikely to get an adequacy determination post Brexit

Opinion This article adds two reasons to why I think a post-Brexit UK is very unlikely to offer an adequate level of protection in terms of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). One reason relates to recent comments made by Prime Minister Theresa May about human rights. The other relates to the non-compliance of the national …
Fibre, image via Shutterstock

Around 1.4 million people have sub-10Mbps speeds - Ofcom

Around 1.4 million people in Blighty are unable to get speeds of 10Mbps, according to Ofcom's annual Connected Nations report. However, that is an improvement on last year, where 2.4 million, or 8 per cent of the population were unable to get 10Mbps. Unsurprisingly, rural areas still lag behind on broadband, with a quarter of …
Kat Hall, 16 Dec 2016
Fibre, image via Shutterstock

Ofcom fleshes out plans to open up BT's ducts and poles

UK comms watchdog Ofcom has fleshed out its proposals to open up BT's ducts and poles - intended to encourage rivals to access Openreach's infrastructure and lay their own "full fibre" networks. Part of its plans, outlined in the once-in-a-decade Digital Communications Review earlier this year, include the promotion of large- …
Kat Hall, 06 Dec 2016

Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

Slacktivist vegetarians and vegans have been writing strongly worded tweets after the Bank of England confirmed that there are animal fats in the new polymer £5 notes. The plastic fivers were introduced earlier this year to replace the UK’s battered and disintegrating stocks of paper £5 notes. While at the time the bank was …
Gareth Corfield, 29 Nov 2016
editorial only image of Whitehall. Pic Daniel Gale/Shutterstock

Sharing's caring? Not when you spread data across gov willy-nilly

Digital Economy Bill Privacy campaigners and academics have called for the removal of personal data sharing proposals in the forthcoming Digital Economy Bill. The Bill puts government ministers in control of citizens' personal data, "a significant change in the relationship between citizen and state," wrote 26 signatories in a letter to The …
Kat Hall, 25 Nov 2016
SLS cryo propulsion system in Marshall test stand

NASA trying to rein in next-generation super-heavy lifter costs

Poor NASA: it's got a president who doesn't like its climate research and wants it to pay more attention to putting humans on the Moon and Mars – but its launch vehicle for that kind of mission is costing too much. That vehicle is the Space Launch System, a rocket hoped to be capable of one day hauling loads up to 130,000kg …
HMS Duncan, Type 45 destroyer. Crown copyright

UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Royal Navy warships will be less capable of fighting enemy vessels than they were in the 19th century as Britain’s Harpoon anti-ship missile will be withdrawn in two years – with no replacement in sight. The news that the elderly Harpoon Block 1C system will be withdrawn by 2018 was broken by military analyst publication IHS …
Gareth Corfield, 16 Nov 2016
Sydney Harbour Bridge in the cloud

Fleeing Aussie burglar shot in arse with bow and arrow

An alleged burglar was shot in the backside with a bow and arrow after an angry homeowner caught him trying to steal his car. The intruder managed to make off with cash, car keys and other items from the Sydney house before being caught by the 68-year-old man living in the house, according to the BBC. The aggrieved homeowner …
Gareth Corfield, 07 Nov 2016

Cynical Apple gouges UK with 20 per cent price hike

Apple has taken advantage of a more competitive sterling exchange rate to hike its computer prices – by far more than sterling fell. Cupertino raised some UK prices by as much as £500. Apple had already raised the prices of its iPhone, iPad and Apple Watch products. Sterling has fallen some 15 per cent from its 1H 2016 …
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Oct 2016
bomb

Is Google using YouTube to put one over on Samsung?

A curious story appeared overnight, one that made Samsung look very foolish. According to anti-copyright activist and blogger Mike Masnick, Google's YouTube had received a copyright takedown notice from Samsung requesting that game videos featuring the Samsung Note 7 as a weapon be removed. A few hours later the video was …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Oct 2016
Plastic_Logic

Cabinet bare of Apple Watch

Apple Watches have reportedly been banned from UK Cabinet meetings as a result of spying fears. PM Theresa May top ministers have been prohibited from taking Apple Watches into meetings amid concerns that Russian spies might use the devices as a bugging devices, The Telegraph reports. Smartphones have already been banned from …
John Leyden, 11 Oct 2016
A rusty petrol pump at an abandoned gas station. Pic by Silvia B. Jakiello via shutterstock

It's time for Microsoft to revisit dated defaults

Sysadmin blog What works for 100 users frequently doesn't work for 10,000. The same is true in reverse, however, there are far fewer vendors worrying about tailoring software designed for the enterprise to the needs of the SMB. True mass market software needs to walk the tightrope between both worlds, and very little of it succeeds. Let's …
Trevor Pott, 05 Oct 2016
Photo by Denis Makarenko / Shutterstock

Lily Cole: You'd hate me more if Impossible.com were a success

Millionaire supermodel Lily Luahana Cole says we should be pleased that her taxpayer-funded vanity website Impossible.com doesn’t make any money. We’d hate it even more if it her Impossible.com were financially successful, she has told the Daily Telegraph in an interview. “I actually think if we were making loads of money, we …
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Sep 2016
Image by KUCO http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-111070p1.html

Silicon Valley’s top exorcist rushed off his feet as Demons infest California

A Catholic priest has said virtually all his free time is taken up with exorcisms these days as he struggles to counter the tide of demonic possession washing up Silicon Valley and the rest of Northern California. Father Gary Thomas, together with fellow exorcist Father Vincent Lampert, has been profiled in a lengthy piece in …
Joe Fay, 26 Sep 2016

Brexit at the next junction: Verity's guide to key post-vote skills

STOB Pay attention, campers. I have conducted an impartial analysis of the post-Brexit landscape and identified a list of concrete, must-have programming skills for your edification. Impartial? That's pretty rich, coming from you, Verity, considering what I have heard about your activities since Referendum Night. I don't know what …
Verity Stob, 26 Sep 2016
Robert Croucher

UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Updated The owner of a firm involved in sending speculative invoices to suspected downloaders is in trouble of his own after being convicted of a brutal assault on an Uber driver outside an exclusive London members-only club. Robert Croucher, MD of consultancy Hatton & Berkeley, wept in the dock after being found guilty of pushing …
Iain Thomson, 23 Sep 2016

Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

It's been a number of years since an Apple PR staffer secretly admitted to one of our reporters that The Register was on a blacklist. We also learned that they were under strict instructions never to admit to the blacklist – presumably because it would make one of the world's largest companies look, you know, pathetically …
Kieren McCarthy, 07 Sep 2016
Nurse erects drip behind privacy curtain at hospital bed. Photo by Shutterstock

That Public Health study? No, it didn't say 'don't do chemo'

“Chemotherapy kills” was bound to pique our interest, especially since in the best traditions of modern research, its source was a badly-reported scientific study. The screaming headlines were just as you'd expect: “Chemotherapy warning as hundreds die from cancer fighting drugs” from Blighty's The Telegraph; almost the same …
Police officers in bodu armour mill around in field

UK IT consultant subject to insane sex ban order mounts legal challenge

+Comment A homeless IT consultant will learn today whether his challenge to a draconian order, which forces him to tell police in advance if he is going to have sex, will succeed. John O'Neill, 45, must tell the cops 24 hours in advance even if he only plans on “kissing” or engaging in “sexually explicit conversation” – but has never …
Gareth Corfield, 19 Aug 2016

London cops waste £2.1m on thought crime unit – and they want volunteer informers

+ Comment The Metropolitan Police is to spend £2.1m of public money funding a unit that will actively investigate “offensive” comments on Twitter and Facebook, according to reports. Backed by a team of “volunteers”, the Met's new unit will actively seek out anything “deemed inappropriate” on social media services, according to the …
Gareth Corfield, 15 Aug 2016

BBC detector vans are back to spy on your home Wi-Fi – if you can believe it

Updated The BBC's creepy detector vans will be dragged into the 21st century to sniff Brits' home Wi-Fi networks, claims the UK Daily Telegraph's Saturday splash. From September 1, you'll need a telly licence if you stream catch-up or on-demand TV from the BBC's iPlayer service, regardless if you've got a television set or not – phone …
Chris Williams, 06 Aug 2016
Burned iPhone

Crocodile well-done-dee: Downed Down Under chap roasted by exploding iPhone

Warning: pic An Australian chap says he suffered serious burns after he tumbled off his bike and his iPhone exploded. Gareth Clear, 36, of Bondi, Sydney, says he was cycling last week when he fell and landed directly on the Apple iThing in his back pocket. The handset's lithium-ion battery, apparently damaged by the prang, burst into …
Shaun Nichols, 02 Aug 2016
Still from tv show three's company  copyright  	DLT Entertainment The Program Exchange FremantleMedia /cbs

Three owner Hutch lobs sueball at EU over failed O2 buy

The owner of mobile network Three UK, CK Hutchison, has lodged a legal challenge against the European Commission. The Telegraph, which broke the story, says a filing has been filed with the General Court (formerly the Court of the First Instance), after the European Competition Commission blocked the acquisition by Hutchison. …
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2016
Chain expressing freedom (Stepph / Wikimedia)

Capita was always going to axe staff under Project Vincent – sources

Capita was always going to axe staff working in the outsourced O2 call centre under an initiative code-named Project Vincent once the two-year TUPE agreement period was over. Or so claimed employees that headed into Capita’s office in Glasgow, Scotland, today knowing it will be their last – still at least they won’t have to …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jul 2016
Pokemon toys

Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

If terror attacks, coups and the prospect of a Trump presidency aren’t enough to convince the end of days might just be at hand, a brief review of the weekend’s Pokemon Go related news should tip the balance. As the augmented reality monster hunting smartphone game rolled out across the real world, players were shot at and …
Joe Fay, 18 Jul 2016

EU eyes flaw in Google’s cash machine

Analysis The European Commission has opened an aggressive new front in its battle with Google, one that Google thought it had secured years ago. And this is one that starts to gnaw away at Google’s core cash generation business. As well as advancing its prosecution of Google over vertical search, the new third area where the Commission …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Jul 2016

England just not windy enough for wind farms, admits renewables boss

The head of the wind industry’s trade body in the UK has admitted England isn’t windy enough for any more wind farms. “We are almost certainly not talking about the possibility of new plants in England. The project economics wouldn’t work; the wind speeds don’t allow for it,” Hugh McNeal, head of Renewable UK told the …
Andrew Orlowski, 07 Jun 2016

Faded celebs' Twitter feeds degrade to sad, lonely smut storms

Symantec boffin Satnam Narang says some 2500 Twitter accounts, including those of journalists and other notables, have been compromised and used to sling pornography and links for dating sites. The accounts include those of a Telegraph journalist, a CNN correspondent, the National Post editor-in-chief, WKYT weekend anchor, …
Darren Pauli, 26 May 2016

Blighty's Virgin Queen threatened with foreign abduction

Royal Museums Greenwich has launched an appeal to save for the nation a fine reminder of when England's dealings with Europe involved not referendums but hostile navies at the receiving end of righteous storm and cannon fire. The Armada Portrait of Elizabeth I. Pic: Royal Museums Greenwich A reminder of the good old days ( …
Lester Haines, 23 May 2016
Google bikes outside Google HQ. Photo by Randy Miramontez/Shutterstock - for editorial use only.

EU mulls €3bn fine for Google

The European Commission may impose its largest ever fine on a company for misbehaving - and for Alphabet's Google, it could just be the start. The Sunday Telegraph reports that the Commission is considering a fine “in the region of €3bn” for Google’s anti-competitive search practices - or around half of Google’s European …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 May 2016

Brexit campaign group fined £50k for sending half a million spam texts

Pro-Brexit group Leave.EU has been fined £50,000 for sending up to 500,000 unsolicited text messages urging people to support its campaign, the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) said today. The group, registered as Better for the Country Ltd and funded by millionaire UKIP donor Arron Banks, broke the law by not having …

Airport drone 'plastic bag'

A "drone" that apparently hit an aircraft at Heathrow Airport in the UK last weekend may have been a plastic bag. "The reported drone strike on Sunday has not been confirmed it was actually a drone. It was the local police force that tweeted that they had a report of a drone striking an aircraft," said UK transport minister …
Iain Thomson, 21 Apr 2016
Large leaver switch on a board of push button switches

US WEATHER SERVICE KILLS ALL CAPS

AMERICA'S NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WILL STOP PROVIDING ALL ITS FORECASTS IN CAPS. THE AGENCY HAS BEEN USING ALL CAPS FOR MORE THAN 150 YEARS BECAUSE IT ORIGINATED WITH THE TELEGRAPH. THERE WAS AN EFFORT TO END THE PRACTICE and move to lower case about 20 years ago BUT THE AGENCY'S EQUIPMENT COULDN'T HANDLE IT. FORTUNATELY …
Kieren McCarthy, 12 Apr 2016
BT Openreach at work

Ofcom promises to have details on duct and pole access by summer

The communications regulator Ofcom has promised to release more details on how it intends to give BT's competitors greater access to Openreach's poles and ducts by the summer. The details follow Ofcom's decision in February in the once-in-a-decade Digital Communications Review to open up BT's network of telegraph poles and …
Kat Hall, 12 Apr 2016
European commission photo via Shutterstock

Three to chop off £3bn of its network in bid to woo EU over O2 merger

Three UK is making a last-ditch attempt to win EU approval of its £10.25bn O2 merger with a number of sweeteners, including £3bn in network deals with competitors, according to reports. According to The Telegraph, Three's owner, CK Hutchison, has signed deals with Virgin and Sky that will guarantee space on its expanded mobile …
Kat Hall, 07 Apr 2016
HMS Vengeance returns to HMNB Clyde. Crown copyright

Blighty's nuclear deterrent will get a software upgrade amid cyber-war fears

Software powering Britain's nuclear-tipped Trident II missiles is to be updated following fears of a cyber-attack, according to reports. The Daily Telegraph reported that Britain's Trident missiles, currently carried by the Royal Navy's Vanguard-class submarines, are to receive software updates to help guard against cyber- …
Gareth Corfield, 31 Mar 2016
Woman in bathrobe is shocked by something she is reading on her laptop. Pic via Shutterstock

Ofcom is keeping schtum over BT Openreach plans until end of year

Telecoms regulator Ofcom will not release details of its proposals for greater structural separation of Openreach and BT until the end of the year. In February the regulator stopped short of recommending a full separation of BT and Openreach in its Digital Communications Review. Ofcom will now draft its "proposals for …
Kat Hall, 31 Mar 2016

That one phone the FBI wanted unlocked? Here are 63 more, says ACLU

The FBI's promise that the San Bernardino iPhone case was a one-off is looking a tad hollow after the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) found another 63 ongoing cases of the government using an ancient law to enforce unlocking. "The FBI wants you to think that it will use the All Writs Act only in extraordinary cases to …
Iain Thomson, 30 Mar 2016
australia

Oz uni in right royal 'indigenous' lingo rumpus

The University of New South Wales (UNSW) has provoked a bit of a rumpus Down Under with its handy Indigenous Terminology guide, which "clarifies appropriate language use for the history, society, naming, culture and classifications of Indigenous Australian and Torres Strait Islander people". Those wishing to express themselves …
Lester Haines, 30 Mar 2016

William Hague: Brussels attacks mean we must destroy crypto ASAP

William Hague, the Conservative former Foreign Secretary in the UK, has claimed that the latest Brussels terrorist attacks “show the need to crack terrorist communications.” Writing in The Telegraph, Hague claimed that the stand-out detail from the attacks in Brussels was “the communications discipline of those responsible.” …

French publishers join Swedish 'Block Party' to pester ad refuseniks

French publishers are joining the “block party” - by taking aggressive collective action to thwart ad-blockers. In August, around 80 to 90 per cent of Swedish publishers will participate in a co-ordinated campaign to nag readers using ad blocking software that they really shouldn’t use ad blocking software. Le Figaro suggests …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Mar 2016
Prey for the Gods - game by No Matter studios (sequel to In the Shadow of the Colossus)

CK Hutchison/O2: 'Four networks' dogma risks one giant and three hopeless dwarves

Analysis Three parent CK Hutchison is so keen to get its merger of O2 approved by Brussels, it’s willing to give up infrastructure and spectrum that a new entrant could use to create a fourth network. Brussels (and Ofcom) remain dead set on the UK having four major networks, rather than regulations that beef up competition from Virgin …
Andrew Orlowski, 15 Mar 2016
Tangle of cables attached to a telegraph pole

Optus cable can't connect 500,000: NBN CEO Bill Morrow

nbnTM, the builder of Australia's National Broadband Network (NBN), says it now does not expect to make the 500,000 connections it's previously said would be made on the hybrid fibre-coax (HFC) network for which it paid Optus AU$800 million. Under questioning from opposition senator Stephen Conroy at a hearing of the Senate …
BT Openreach van

Gosh, what a huge shock: Ofcom shies away from BT Openreach split, calls for reform

UK Communications regulator Ofcom waited until late February to shy away from recommending spinning off BT's Openreach, instead saying BT must open up its network to competitors and reform Openreach. The initial conclusions of Ofcom’s Strategic Review of Digital Communications said BT must open up its network of telegraph …
Kat Hall, 25 Feb 2016
de Havilland Tiger Moth

Oz defence to get $25 bn to spend on digital defences

Australia has reiterated its commitment to the Toothless Tiger Moth, with prime minister Malcolm Turnbull announcing an expansion of defence capital and personnel. Ahead of the long-awaited defence white paper, due for release this week, the federal government has said it will meet former prime minister Tony Abbott's promise …

For sale: One 236-bed nuclear bunker

Readers looking for a spacious pad with plenty of accommodation, plus "male and female WCs, commercial kitchen facilities, BBC audio visual broadcasting facility, conference facilities, air filtration systems, conference rooms, decontamination chambers, plant rooms and oil storage", are directed to the sale of a former nuclear …
Lester Haines, 02 Feb 2016