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Bloody Serial Killer Shower Curtain

Redmond's certification chief explains death of MCM and MCA

Microsoft's late Friday afternoon decision to ”retire” some of its highest-end certifications has been explained by the chap who made the decision to do so. News of the certifications cancellation has enraged those who hold or were studying for the Microsoft Certified Master (MCM), Microsoft Certified Solutions Master (MCSM), …
Simon Sharwood, 02 Sep 2013

Microsoft cans three 'pinnacle' certifications, sparking user fury

Microsoft has again enraged some of its most committed users, by “retiring” the Microsoft Certified Master (MCM), Microsoft Certified Solutions Master (MCSM), and Microsoft Certified Architect (MCA) certifications. The decision comes just weeks after Microsoft closed its TechNet service, angering users forced into more expensive …
Simon Sharwood, 31 Aug 2013
The Register breaking news

DNS servers filled with wrong Kool-Aid, big names waylaid in Romania

A hacker today redirected web surfers looking for Yahoo, Microsoft or Google to a page showing a TV test card by apparently poisoning Google's public DNS system. Punters and organisations relying on Google's free service were affected, rather than the websites themselves being compromised. Visitors to yahoo.ro, microsoft.ro and …
John Leyden, 28 Nov 2012

NSA is 'great at some sophisticated tasks but oddly bad at the simplest'

It's all going down in Redmond! Last week, chief exec Steve Ballmer announces his retirement, this week, the one-time king company of computing announced it's going to slurp down the tattered remnants of Nokia's mobile business. Yes, in a bizarrely timed acquisition, Microsoft has decided to take them newfangled speaky-boxes …
channel

Government slashes consultancy spending

Public sector spending on consultants fell sharply last year, according to a report from the Management Consultancies Association (MCA). It says that in 2010 the public sector spent 15 per cent less on consultants than it had in the previous year – although the MCA declined to disclose the total, saying it was confidential to …

Better late than never: Monster 15-core Xeon chips let loose by Intel

Intel's long-reigning top dog in the x86 server market, the Xeon E7 "Westmere-EX" of April 2011, can finally enjoy a well-deserved retirement: its "Ivy Bridge–EX" replacement, prosaically named the Xeon E7 v2 series, has finally arrived. Intel's 15-core 'Ivy Bridge–EX' Xeon E7 v2 die Count the compute cores on this Xeon E7 v2 …
Rik Myslewski, 18 Feb 2014
Albert Einstein

Official: Kindles get heavier as you add e-books

Download an e-book and your reader gets (microscopically) heavier. So says University of California at Berkeley boffin John Kubiatowicz in the pages of the New York Times. His argument: that energy is bound in the process of storing the book's bits in the reader's Flash memory and, according to Einstein's most famous equation …
Tony Smith, 31 Oct 2011
The Register breaking news

Stranded Hartlepool pair refuse coastguard rescue

Two people who were yesterday cut off by the rising tide at the mouth of the River Tees at Hartlepool refused a lifeboat rescue unless the emergency services also agreed to save their shopping trolley full of driftwood. The Maritime And Coastguard Agency (MCA) explains that at 4:14 pm, Humber Coastguard received a report of a …
Lester Haines, 01 Feb 2010
The Register breaking news

'OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW'

Given that the week started with Halloween, it was perhaps appropriate that the weird and wonderful was prevalent. In honour of All Hallow's Eve, a tech geek transformed his fruity fondleslabs into an, erm, interesting costume. A Berkeley boffin argued that because of Einstein's most famous equation E=MC², ebook readers get …
The Register breaking news

Rogue fishing skipper faked own death

A fishing skipper who attempted to avoid questioning by the Marine and Fisheries Agency (MFA) by pretending he was dead and submitting his own obituary to a trade newspaper was yesterday sentenced to six-and-a-half years' jail. Derek Atkins, 56, of Portsmouth, was under investigation by the MFA for various offences, including 20 …
Lester Haines, 13 Feb 2009

NEC kicks out glueless Nehalem EX beast

Like all remaining Itanium vendors aside from HP, NEC is shifting its focus to Intel's new Nehalem-EX Xeon 7500 processors for its big-iron beasts. The times, they are a-changin'. NEC made a big deal about high-end Itanium-based systems in the prior decade, notching up big benchmark wins with its 16-socket "Azuza" and 32-socket …
The Register breaking news

Philips, Intel design PDA for medics

Philips and Intel Mobile Clinical Assistant Philips and Intel are to develop a tablet computer for doctors and nurses, in the process creating what they claim is a new category of device: the Mobile Clinical Assistant (MCA). Presumably, Portable Doctor's Assistant* is already taken... The MCA is built around a 10.4in, 1024 …
Tony Smith, 28 Feb 2007
The Register breaking news

Ofcom taps sailors for new fees

Ofcom has published proposals for charging those at sea for radio communications, but would like everyone to note that it's not planning to screw the lifeboats this time. The regulator has been bitten before, when it casually suggested that lifeboats might like to pay market rates for radio spectrum. This time not only are …
Bill Ray, 13 Aug 2009
The Register breaking news

Coastguard, plods swoop on fake Facebook yachtmaster

A 29-year-old yachtswoman used an image of a sailing qualification found on Facebook to charter a yacht last summer, according to the UK government. No harm was done and she paid the charter company in full but, nonetheless, crack Coastguard operatives and nautical plods swung into action. A mere eight months later the maritime …
Lewis Page, 26 Feb 2008
fingers pointing at man

Intel set to reveal Itanium's fate?

Intel should have made a stronger statement than it did about its Itanium processor at this week's launch of the "Westmere-EX" Xeon E7 high-end server processors, considering the bashing that Oracle has given the chip in recent weeks. However – for whatever reason – Kirk Skaugen, general manager of Intel's Data Center Group, …
The Register breaking news

Atomic time boffins build better second-watcher

US researchers recently named the atomic clock at the UK's National Physical Laboratory (NPL) in London the most accurate atomic timepiece on the planet. Experts from the University of Pennsylvania found that NPL-CSF2 loses just one nanosecond every two months. It's a badge of honour for NPL, the birthplace of the first …
Gavin Clarke, 21 Nov 2011
channel

Intel charges premium for Xeon E7 scalability

Intel has refreshed its high-end x64-based server processors with the launch of the "Westmere-EX" chips, now known to the outside world as the Xeon E7s, and it wants some more money for them than you might have been budgeting. In an indicator of the confidence that Intel has in its dominance of the x64 server racket, the company …
globalisation

Oracle tunes Solaris for Intel's big Xeons

Word is trickling out of Oracle that is recently acquired Solaris has been heavily tuned to support Intel's new eight-core Nehalem-EX Xeon 7500 beasties. Pity, then, Oracle does not yet seem to have a Nehalem-EX box in the field. But the indications are that Oracle is working on an eight-socket box. First, said eight-socket box …
The Register breaking news

DoJ 'to probe music download pricing'

US Department of Justice investigators have begun to probe major music labels' download pricing policies, sources close to the world's four biggest recording companies told Billboard magazine. According to the report, the DoJ has started sending out subpoenas to Warner Music Group, EMI, Sony BMG and Universal Music Group, …
Tony Smith, 03 Mar 2006
globalisation

Intel pushes Nehalem EXs into 2010

With Advanced Micro Devices admitting that it's getting ready to launch its "Istanbul" Opteron six-shooter, Intel can't afford to let AMD monopolize all the talk about x64 processors. And that is why Intel hosted a conference call today about its eight-core "Nehalem EX" processor for four-socket and larger servers, even though …
The Register breaking news

What are chromosome abnormalities and how often do they occur?

Also in this week's column: What is the difference between a chromosome and a gene? Which comes first: imagination or fantasy, and what's the difference between the two? What are chromosome abnormalities and how often do they occur? Asked by Lynn Davis of Casper, Wyoming Each of our chromosomes has a specific and proper …
Stephen Juan, 19 May 2006
The Register breaking news

Mobile phones soon to be allowed on aircraft

Mobile phones will soon be heard on commercial aircraft, subject to regulatory approval. UK communications regulator Ofcom published a proposal (pdf) today that would license the right for passengers to make calls above an altitude of 3,000 metres. However, Ofcom points out that its remit is limited to the regulation of …
OUT-LAW.COM, 18 Oct 2007

Xeon E7 servers run with the big dogs

Intel has come a long way in the server racket, and the new "Westmere-EX" Xeon E7 processor, launched in April and making its way into systems now, is arguably its most sophisticated processor for servers to date. The Xeon E7 processors cram ten cores onto a single die, but the Xeon E7 design is a bit more than taking an eight- …
The Register breaking news

Nuclear merchant ships could open up Arctic routes for real

British business interests are suggesting that it may be time to revive the idea of nuclear-powered commercial shipping. Media reports to the contrary, the Arctic is not yet open to normal merchant ships - but it might be opened up by nuclear ones, which would also offer zero emissions and freedom from high oil prices. Concept …
Lewis Page, 27 Sep 2010
chart

Livedrive's livewire, high-living CEO

Livedrive's Andrew Michael is not your average storage CEO. Storage CEOs are generally dependable, earnest and businesslike. They don't fly Grammy Award-winning popstars over the Atlantic to sing at their girlfriend's birthday party and they don't generally have a stopped cheque dispute with a gambling club. Neither do they hire …
Chris Mellor, 23 Dec 2008
The Register breaking news

EU sets cellphone users loose in aircraft

The European Commission did its bit for the battle against climate change today by backing mobile phone calls on aircraft, thereby stripping air travel of any residual glamour or appeal. But the Commission also warned operators that it would be watching closely to ensure they don’t try and scalp their air-bound customers to …
Joe Fay, 07 Apr 2008
The Register breaking news

Give me a lipstick MP3 player or give me death

Our first Consumer Electronics Show (CES) wrap covers a little bit of everything - from a new twist on binoculars to a pen-sized scanner. If gadgets are your thing, please proceed with pace. The leather iPod bar We’ll start you off with something familiar and easy to digest. It’s the line of device accessories from French firm …
Ashlee Vance, 05 Jan 2006
The Register breaking news

Microsoft, Eidos line up to buy 3DO titles

Microsoft, Eidos and Ubi Soft are among seven companies bidding for the remains of collapsed game publisher 3DO. JoWood Productions Software AG, Turbine Entertainment Software, Crave Entertainment and Namco Hometek are also named in papers filed with the US San Francisco Bankruptcy Court, Reuters reports. 3DO sought Chapter 11 …
Tony Smith, 08 Aug 2003
server room

PCI-SIG says ‘yes’ to Intel's 3GIO

Intel's next-generation PC I/O bus, designed to be the successor to PCI and AGP, has won the backing of the PCI Special Interest Group. Intel announced in February it was working on what it calls a third-generation I/O spec. It submitted a preliminary version of the new bus, dubbed '3GIO', to the PCI-SIG, which on Friday voted …
Tony Smith, 06 Aug 2001
The Register breaking news

Climategate: Why it matters

Reading the Climategate archive is a bit like discovering that Professional Wrestling is rigged. You mean, it is? Really? The archive - a carefully curated 160MB collection of source code, emails and other documents from the internal network of the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia - provides grim …
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Nov 2009
The Register breaking news

UK crack down on prescription drug ads on the Web

The Government is set to target the UK Internet industry in a bid to crack-down on sites illegally advertising and selling prescription medicines such as the male anti-impotence drug Viagra. In effect, the whole of the UK Internet industry is being warned to comply with the existing law concerning the advertising and sale of …
Tim Richardson, 20 Feb 2003
The Register breaking news

Acer Labs backs AMD HyperTransport

Acer Labs has given AMD's HyperTransport the thumbs-up and will support the point-to-point bus technology in future south-bridge chips. It isn't saying which chips will contain HT, of course, but that didn't stop both AMD and the quasi-autonomous HyperTransport Consortium from praising Acer Labs' decision. The chipset maker's …
Tony Smith, 22 Aug 2001
The Register breaking news

Major labels join IBM on Net music sales trial

Four of the music industry's six key players -- Sony Music, Time-Warner, EMI, MCA/Universal -- and IBM have announced the first major move in the business' bid to take command of the Internet music scene. The plan, dubbed the Madison Project, will see the participants co-operating on an experimental music distribution system set …
Tony Smith, 26 Nov 1998
The Register breaking news

Stan-the-man offers tax free betting

Stanley Leisure has opened two new tax-free sports betting sites. Stanleybet.co.uk is hosted in the UK and was launched in tandem with stanleybet.com, its offshore operation based in Malta. Both sites offer customers 'tax-free' betting on a range of sports although the outfit specialises in association football. It reckons it …
Team Register, 13 Oct 2000
The Register breaking news

Genuine Pentium III systems for sale in UK

A UK company told The Register today it was already selling systems based on the Pentium III processor and the chips are the genuine article. Digital Networks UK is selling 500MHz systems and 450MHz systems, and has verified details of their authenticity with Intel. According to a representative at Digital Networks, the ID …
Mike Magee, 11 Feb 1999
The Register breaking news

Future server I/O co-operation talks collapse

Intel and IBM have both walked away from talks aimed at brokering a compatibility agreement between the two companies' proposed server interconnect technologies. According to a report in EE Times, the discussions hit "insurmountable sticking points". Specifically, the Intel-backed Next Generation I/O (NGIO) Forum were not keen …
Tony Smith, 01 Apr 1999
The Register breaking news

AMD and Intel kiss and make up on next-gen I/O

AMD's next-generation PC I/O technology, HyperTransport, will almost certainly become a part of Intel's next-generation PC I/O technology, 3GIO, just as we predicted it would. Staffers at both companies have said they are indeed working to bring the two, rival specifications together, EBN reports today. As we reported …
Tony Smith, 31 Aug 2001
Broken CD with wrench

AMD unwraps HyperTransport consortium

AMD has launched the IT equivalent of a Quango - a quasi non-governmental organisation - to steer the promotion and development of its own HyperTransport bus technology. And there are some interesting names among the 180-strong member roster, including Sun, Transmeta and Apple. The HyperTransport Technology Consortium was …
Tony Smith, 24 Jul 2001
The Register breaking news

Developing world malware writers throw a sickie

Does sending PCs to the developing world fuel malware? That's what Eugene Kaspersky said recently. We reckoned the potential benefits outweighed the dangers, but here are your thoughts: PCs to developing world 'fuel malware'. Perhaps, but Software Industry's dirty secret is that many top people learnt their trade in secret …
Lester Haines, 16 Jun 2006
The Register breaking news

Intel plots post-PCI, 3G PC standard

Intel Developer Forum, San Jose So, farewell then, PCI... So, farewell then, AGP... Intel is already working on your successor, a unified PC sub-system designed to provide connectivity out into the next decade of the 21st Century. As yet, this third-generation technology has no name - at least, not one that Louis Burns, Intel's …
Tony Smith, 01 Mar 2001
The Register breaking news

The Stuckist Net – what is your post-Palladium future?

"Your paintings are stuck, you are stuck! Stuck! Stuck! Stuck!" - Tracey Emin [to Billy Childish]. The copyright holders who dominate the entertainment oligopolies in the United States could risk ceding the nation's technological lead, once and forever. How so? Well, we now see that the Pigopolists intend to restrict the open …
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Aug 2002
The Register breaking news

The Register is five years old

This is Issue No. 1 of The Register, which is now five years old: ====== The Register Number 1 25 July 1994 Edited by John Lettice & Mike Magee email: connect@magee.demon.co.uk -------------------------------------------------- DISPLAY'S COLOUR FLAT PANELS SET TO DOUBLE Display Technologies, the IBM-Toshiba joint venture company …
Team Register, 01 Jul 1999