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Articles about M&A

Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

A tearful Steve Ballmer has admitted he was a big part of the problem at Microsoft – and that the company needs to rethink its management structure to succeed in the future. "At the end of the day, we need to break a pattern. Face it: I'm a pattern," company CEO Ballmer told The Wall Street Journal with apparent tears in his …
Iain Thomson, 16 Nov 2013

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner: Capital is top target for computer thieves, say police

Computer kit including smartphones, laptops, tablets and desktop themselves, is twice as likely to be stolen in reported thefts in London compared to other regions in the UK. A series of Freedom of Information (FOI) requests from security and communications firm ViaSat revealed the theft of electronic devices crops up in 34 per …
John Leyden, 11 Aug 2014
Robot wearing mortar board and brandishing certificates

Pleased to meet you. I'm Joe Bloggs, MVP, vExpert, Cisco Champ

Vendor schemes that put users on a pedestal are sprouting like never before. But what's in it for those who win these laurels? Apparently it doesn't necessarily draw in the customers.... “It does give you a certain cachet,” says Microsoft MVP Carol Wapshere, although “other techies and my employers tend to be more impressed …
Simon Sharwood, 30 Jul 2014
Dyson Air Multiplier

'Fan docks' are about to become a thing

Yesterday at Computex, Intel announced the new Core M, a new CPU architecture based on a Broadwellian 14nm process, and said it is destined to appear in premium tablets and two-in-one typoslabs. Today, Chipzilla revealed a little more about the new product by showing off a reference design for a Core-M-equipped typoslab called …
Simon Sharwood, 04 Jun 2014

Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

I am a very lucky man: Amazon is offering me a 20 per cent discount. The cynics among you might try to claim that everything at Amazon is offered at a 20 per cent discount because of its advantageous tax arrangements but that would be the result of confusion. My 20 per cent discount has nothing to do with VAT being 20 per cent …
Alistair Dabbs, 14 Mar 2014
Canon

Canon debuts EOS M compact system camera

Seemingly bowing to peer pressure, Canon has finally unveiled its own compact system camera, the EOS M. A mirrorless interchangeable-lens snapper that features its new EF-M lens mount and an 18Mp APS-C CMOS sensor. Rather than try a new imaging format, Canon is playing it safe with DSLR tech in a small body and competing with …
Caleb Cox, 23 Jul 2012
The Register breaking news

Acronis creates new roles for biz and M&A hotshots

Data protection software supplier Acronis has created two new roles on its executive team: senior vice president in corporate development and SVP in global business development. The move suggests the firm is anticipating a spike in growth and is preparing itself to make a few acquisitions, or even positioning itself to be …
Chris Mellor, 17 May 2012

Murdoch: I'm a Jawbone fanboi - and it's going to help me live to 100!

Press baron Rupert Murdoch has revealed he wears a Jawbone UP, the fitness-tracking bangle beloved of "quantified self" pushers and fitness fans. Murdoch revealed his Jawbone habit in a speech delivered to Australia's Lowy Institute, a think tank established by billionaire Frank Lowy whose Westfield shopping mall empire brings …
Simon Sharwood, 01 Nov 2013
The Register breaking news

Windows 7 'I'm a PC' man quits Microsoft

Microsoft’s “I’m a PC” bloke is reportedly leaving the software maker. According to an email, seen by SeattlePI.com, Sean Siler has quit the company for personal reasons, after five years of service. “I have a lot of memories from my time at Microsoft, but the ‘I'm a PC’ commercial is the highlight. I really feel proud that I …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Nov 2010
Monty Python

I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Alistair Dabbs is recovering from the dreaded lurgy, but still none too chipper this week, so we’re happy to let him linger in his bath chair and tartan blanket once again. No doubt his neighbours will be concerned though, if this repeat publication from 2013 is anything to go by. “My nephew bought me one of those iPad things …
Alistair Dabbs, 06 Jun 2014
Teepee village

Marauding quid-a-day nosh hack menaces teepee hippie villages

It's day two of the El Reg Quid-a-Day Nosh Posse's Live Below the Line challenge, so let's see how our intrepid members are getting along on just £1 per day for food. First up, we haven't had a chance yet to consider Chris Winpenny's complete cornucopious stockpile, some of which we've already seen... Chris's initial stash of …
Lester Haines, 29 Apr 2014

Apple fanbois to talk at the iWatch, INSPECTOR GADGET style – report

The next generation of fanbois will walk down the street speaking into their wristwatches, Tim Cook has suggested. Speaking to UBS analyst Steven Milunovich, Cook hinted at Apple's interest in voice messages. In a note sent to clients that was seen by Fortune magazine, Milunovich recalled: “When we visited with Tim Cook, he …
Jasper Hamill, 03 Jul 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

UK reseller titan Kelway's valuation heading north of £200m, say insiders

The first round of Kelway's sales process is understood to be over and the buy price has drifted north of £200m, or so say our insiders. Interested venture capitalists are still believed to be at the negotiating table, as are some trade buyers, with investment banker William Blair, appointed in January, overseeing the …
Paul Kunert, 26 Jun 2014

HP Simplivity buyout rumours: Could it be worth HALF a BILLION?

HP is said to be in talks to buy Simplivity, a startup whose main offering is the Omnicube converged server/storage/networking systems. The Omnicube is a so-called hyper-converged system, designed from the ground up to eliminate the data centre chaos of independent server, storage and networking products that have to be …
Chris Mellor, 10 Jun 2014
Photo by Thore Siebrands Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

'I got a little bit upset by that Register article...' says millionaire model. Bless!

This was the week when millionaire supermodel Lily Cole told the papers how saddened she was by The Register’s coverage of her taxpayer-funded wishing well, Impossible.com. El Reg previously revealed that Cole was given £200,000 of public money for the website but hardly anyone was using it, which the socialite didn’t take too …
Data breach image

US Army loses 16,000 personnel records in South Korea

Sensitive information of more than 16,000 US Army personnel stationed in South Korea, plus data on local employees and job applicants, appears to have been compromised after databases loaded with names, identification numbers and addresses were accessed by unauthorised and unknown parties. Specific details of how the 28 May raid …
Darren Pauli, 06 Jun 2014
Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

Steve Ballmer: Thanks to me, Microsoft screwed up a decade in phones

Steve Ballmer's greatest regret from his time at Microsoft is that he flubbed his company's attempts at smartphones and mobile computing. That's what he said on Tuesday during his first public appearance since stepping down as CEO of the software goliath. Speaking before an audience of graduate students, business owners, and the …
Neil McAllister, 04 Mar 2014
The Register breaking news

Assange shocker: 'Of course I'm a goddamn journalist'

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is running out of patience with those who question his rightful membership with the fourth estate. Just hours after receiving Australia's Walkley Award for "recognition of long-term commitment and achievement in the Australian media," Assange appeared by Skype at the News World Summit in Hong …
Dan Goodin, 28 Nov 2011
Wrapping Tidal Enterprise Scheduler around Hadoop

I used to be an Oracle DBA ... but now I'm a Big Data guru

As the demand for Oracle skills fades along with VB and as even Java loses its shine, the smart developer is looking at what will pay the bills for the next decade. As an ITpro you have to bet your career every few years and Big Data is too obvious an opportunity to pass up. The problem being that it’s not a single product that …
Dominic Connor, 20 Feb 2013
The Register breaking news

'I'm a PIRATE' confessions spew from OED iPhone dictionary

Users of iOS dictionary apps from Collins, Longman and the OED have found themselves outed as pirates on Twitter, as a name-and-shame tactic used by the apps' developer backfires. The company concerned, Enfour, apparently reckons that 75 per cent of its users are pirates, which is why it planted some code in its applications to …
Bill Ray, 15 Nov 2012
Random numbers

Fiendishly complex password app extension ships for iOS 8

AgileBits wants more apps to use 1Password's strong passwords, and has released an extension on github to that end. The idea is that app developers can grab the extension, write a few lines of code into their apps, and allow their app users to create strong passwords during registration. Naturally, this would also push users …
channel

Microsoft resuscitates 'I'm a PC' ads to fight Apple

In desperate need for something – anything – to stop the advance of the iPad and Android, Microsoft is trying to convince consumers that the PC is as modern a computing device as any tablet. On Monday, Microsoft will hit US TV audiences with a new ad campaign that updates its "I'm a PC" spot from a few years back, which was …
Gavin Clarke, 10 May 2011

Good news for gamers who don't leave the house: SanDisk debuts 24/7 Extreme PRO SSD

Gamers are told to take note: SanDisk has souped its Extreme line of SATA interface consumer SSDs to the Extreme PRO – which has doubled capacity, slightly increased speed and an eye-catching 10-year warranty. Last year's Extreme II featured a maximum of 480GB of capacity, random read/write speeds of 95,000/75,000 IOPS (4K), …
Chris Mellor, 04 Jun 2014
iPhone 2.2.1 update

BOFH: He... made... you... HE made YOU a DOMAIN ADMIN?

"Yeah, so we just need you to upgrade these machines," the Beancounter says. "Upgrade them to what, Windows 8?" I ask, suppressing the gag reflex. "No I mean upgrade them with the updates." "Oh, so you mean upDATE them, not upGRADE?" "It's the same thing!" he simpers. "Not at all. An upDATE is when the system stays …
Simon Travaglia, 21 Feb 2014
John Chen

BlackBerry not afraid to throw its mobe biz under a bus, says CEO Chen

BlackBerry has said that it will finally consider selling off its smartphone-making business if it continues to be unprofitable. "If I cannot make money on handsets, I will not be in the handset business," chief exec John Chen told Reuters in an interview*. The Canadian phone biz reported poor sales again in its fourth quarter …
How to strangle a chicken - Aussie style

My work-from-home setup's better than the office. It's GLORIOUS

I’ve been fairly used to the idea that my PC at home is substantially better than my work one; this has certainly been the case for me for more than a decade. I’m a geek and I spend more than most on my personal technology environment. However, it is no longer just my home PC. I’ve got better software tools and back-end systems …
StorageBod, 11 Mar 2014
Video camera

F-Secure won't speak at imperialist lackey RSA's 2014 conference

Fallout from the allegation that RSA helped the NSA undermine crytpography standards is spreading, with Finnish security vendor F-Secure uninviting itself from the 2014 edition of RSA's eponymous conference. The reason, says F-Secure's chief research officer Mikko Hypponen, is that RSA is an imperialist running dog. His strongly …
Simon Sharwood, 24 Dec 2013
Apple Contact Hero shot

Financial wizardess joins Apple board, air of coolness noticeably diminishes

The founder of investment fund BlackRock has joined the Apple board of directors, perhaps giving a tantalising clue to the fruity firm's interest in entering the financial services arena. Susan L Wagner, founding partner and director of BlackRock, has replaced Bill Campbell, who was the longest-serving member of the board and …
Jasper Hamill, 18 Jul 2014
homeless man with sign

Oracle to NetApp: 'I'm a faster, cheaper storage lover'

Oracle says it has scored an SPC-1 benchmark win over NetApp; its ZFS storage box delivers twice the SPC-1 speed of a NetApp array for less than half the cost. The ZFS 7420 recorded 137,066 SPC-1 IOPS at a cost of $2.99/IOPS. Oracle chose to contrast this with a NetApp 3270A result of 68,035 SPC-1 IOPS at a cost of $7.48/IOPS. …
Chris Mellor, 04 Oct 2011
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump waxwork. Pic: Shawn Perez

Tom Hanks NICKED my COPYRIGHTED PIC, claims Brit photog

Hollywood film actor Tom Hanks' WhoSay page is attributing copyright of a photograph to the millionaire rather than to the British photographer from Cornwall to whom it actually belongs - and the plucky Brit is now fighting for the recognition he deserves. The photo was taken by snapper Tim Martindale last year, and features his …
Andrew Orlowski, 13 Jun 2014

Pure Data buys tech services biz Servatech

Yorkshire has witnessed some M&A channel activity with infrastructure reseller Pure Data Solutions leaping into the IT services market after coughing a six figures sum for minnow Servatech. The deal that closed yesterday afternoon will see 38 services bods and techies at Servatech transfer to the new owners, though they will …
Paul Kunert, 01 Aug 2014
The Register breaking news

Take your hands off me - I'm a tech VC superstar!

Effendi, entrepreneurs! The Bongster is back from Texas! Every year, the brightest talent in Shoreditch's vibrant tech scene swaps the workspaces and mentor-ins of N1 and E2 for the sweet smelling grass of Austin, Texas, for SXSWi. And so did I. As the founder of ¡Bong! Ventures, I am the enabler behind some of the best-known …
Steve Bong, 16 Mar 2012
Bruce Schneier

Q&A: Schneier on trust, NSA spying and the end of US internet hegemony

Bruce Schneier is the man who literally wrote the book on modern encryption, publishing Applied Cryptography in 1994, and for the past 20 years has been an important and sometimes outspoken voice in the security industry. He founded the firm Counterpane Internet Security (later sold to BT), and is also a board member of the …
Iain Thomson, 27 Feb 2014
channel

Maxima turns to M&A veteran after sale talks go stale

Maxima has hired buy-and-build specialist Ian Smith as a non-exec director in the wake of its failed attempt to sell the business. The London Stock Exchange listed managed services provider last week revealed that it had been unable to thrash out a deal with several interested suitors and that the offer period had lapsed. The …
Paul Kunert, 19 Sep 2011
troll

Tech giants link arms with startups against patent trolls

A group of big names in tech is trying again to stem the ravages of patent trolls by forming a mutual non-aggression pact. Google, Canon, SAP, Dropbox, Newegg, Pure Storage and Asana are the foundation members of Lotnet – the License on Transfer Network – and they hope to attract other tech players to the fold. While it's only …

UKFast hoovers up customer list of BurstNET

UKFast has made its first acquisition under a newly recruited M&A head after taking on the local customer base of US hosting biz BurstNET. As previously revealed, the cloud silo and server hosting provider hauled in former LDC and PwC director Catherine Houghton to steer an acquisition plan after claiming it lost out to rivals …
Paul Kunert, 05 Jul 2013

Big Blue's GPFS: The tech's fantastic. Shame about the product

IBM is a great technology company: so many of the technologies we take for granted can be traced to back to Big Blue. And many of today’s implementations still are poorer than the original implementations. And yet the firm is not the dominant force it once was; an organisational behemoth, riven with politics and fiefdoms doesn’t …
StorageBod, 15 Apr 2014
cloud

NTT Comms snaps up US cloud players in £540 MILLION swoop

Enterprise ICT business NTT Communications has taken a big step towards expanding its global cloud computing footprint with the $US525 million (£326m) acquisition of US provider Virtela and a $350m (£217m) swoop for 80 per cent of datacentre firm RagingWire. The Japanese firm said its deal with RagingWire would more than double …
Phil Muncaster, 29 Oct 2013
Artist's concept of Curiosity

ALIEN BODY FOUND ON MARS: Curiosity rover snaps extraterrestrial

NASA's Curiosity rover has stumbled across a massive iron meteorite half buried in the sands of Mars – an object the US space agency has dubbed Lebanon. The Lebanon meteorite found by Curiosity The Lebanon meteorite found by Curiosity The two-metre-wide rock was discovered by the Martian robot on May 25. It was photographed …
Iain Thomson, 16 Jul 2014
management cio2

Brit IT veteran Kelly takes job at investment advisory firm

A British tech biz veteran and former bigwig at integrator Logicalis UK, Tom Kelly, has landed at mid-market M&A and debt advisory firm Livingstone. He joins Livingstone as IT and managed services sector advisor to help further boost its presence in Blighty's tech space, perhaps a sign of the local market's improving fortunes. …
Paul Kunert, 09 Oct 2013

Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Nobody ever reads click-through licences. Especially not on phones, where the legalese can run to hundreds of pages. But oh, what gems can be found in there. We found this by accident in the click-through licence to use the Windows Phone 8.1 Developer Preview. It refers to the new "intelligent assistant", Cortana. We think you' …
Andrew Orlowski, 27 May 2014

I said ‘no’ to a million-pound Tech City empire

I have been propositioned in a toilet by a 72-year-old man. He wants me to move in with him and do the business. Ah, it’s possible that I may have phrased this poorly. What I really meant to say is that he is looking to me to arise and provide him with a youthful injection to keep him in the game. No, no, you’re getting the …
Alistair Dabbs, 17 May 2013
The Register breaking news

Facebook poaches Google exec to go on M&A hunt

Google's corporate development director has reportedly been scooped up by Facebook, in a move to help the social network beef up its mergers and acquisitions portfolio. Amin Zoufonoun worked at Google since 2003, but according to Reuters he's taken a job with Facebook and will be sitting behind his new office desk next week. …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Mar 2011

Feds: Silk Road pirate king tried to SNUFF customer AND employee

Alleged online drug kingpin Ross William Ulbricht tried to have not one, but two people involved in the Silk Road killed, according to as US federal court indictment. The Dread Pirate Roberts, as Ulbricht was known online, paid an undercover federal agent $80,000 to torture and kill a Silk Road employee, the indictment, filed in …
Jack Clark, 03 Oct 2013

Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

A small army of politically correct nerds will gather in London this weekend to launch a mission to "clean up" source code hosted by GitHub. A group calling itself Ethical Code claimed the platform has become a hub for, er, gits who insist on peppering their work with nasty words that have the potential to shock and offend. At …
Jasper Hamill, 19 Mar 2014
Personality glasses - Joe 90

I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

“My nephew bought me one of those iPad things for my birthday.” My heart sinks – I can already tell where this is going. I’m at a neighbour’s house party, the time is last summer, and one of the older partygoers is about to tell me that some new-fangled technology is too much for him to cope with now that he has reached the age …
Alistair Dabbs, 29 Mar 2013

Microsoft gives TechNet a one-off reprieve

Microsoft has decided to extend the life of its TechNet service for 90 days, but will still kill the popular service and suggest subscribers migrate to the more expensive MSDN. Microsoft has let subscribers know of the extension in an update to its Subscriptions page for the service. The offer's only open to “customers whose …
Simon Sharwood, 04 Sep 2013
Nokia Lumia 520

Nokia offers 'voluntary retirement' to 6,000+ Indian employees

Nokia has decided to allow an unspecified number of employees at its massive Chennai plant take voluntary retirement (VRS), as it battles local tax authorities and an April 30 deadline for transferring the factory to Microsoft. The Finnish handset maker issued the following statement on Friday, seen by PTI: As a global company …
Phil Muncaster, 14 Apr 2014

eBay cops $3 BILLION tax bill after moving its profits back onshore

Online tat bazaar eBay has copped a $3bn tax bill after bringing $9bn of cash held overseas back to the US. The firm hopes to use the remaining money to fund potential acquisitions at home. The firm announced as part of its first quarter earnings that it had paid a discrete tax charge of around $3bn to bring the cash pile back …
server room

Cloud silo and services firm UKFast hires personal shopper

Cloud silo and server hosting service provider UKFast, which owns three data centres across the UK and claims Coutts private bank and NHS trusts among its customers, has brought on board an M&A specialist to help it embark on a UK acquisition spree. UKFast claims it had previously lost acquisition targets to rivals because it …
Paul Kunert, 26 Jun 2013