Articles about Loud

A loud, confusing, exciting jumble of the great and the gregarious

Collision 2015 We may have been a few miles from the famous Las Vegas Strip and all the noise and splendor, but there was no shortage of hubbub in the two giant, aircraft-hangar-like pavilions that hosted the Collision techbiz conference this week. It was loud. Loud and busy. Probably too loud and busy. The big stages were shrouded in giant …
Kieren McCarthy, 08 May 2015

Definitions matter. For crying out loud, securobods, BE SPECIFIC – ENISA

Definitions matter when your infrastructure is under threat says European Union Agency for Network and Information Security (ENISA). ENISA’s latest report, published on Thursday, concludes that there is an increase in the occurrence of routing threats, DNS threats and DDoS attacks to internet infrastructure. Its advice? Get your …
Jennifer Baker, 15 Jan 2015
Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

A tearful Steve Ballmer has admitted he was a big part of the problem at Microsoft – and that the company needs to rethink its management structure to succeed in the future. "At the end of the day, we need to break a pattern. Face it: I'm a pattern," company CEO Ballmer told The Wall Street Journal with apparent tears in his …
Iain Thomson, 16 Nov 2013

Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

Future Decoded Once upon a time, around every November, Steve Ballmer visited the UK on an official, annual state visit. Microsoft parked a giant metaphor DeLorean at the entrance to its Future Decoded conference in London Microsoft’s ex-CEO took time out from meeting customers to meet selected national press or trades to whom he’d say …
Gavin Clarke, 11 Nov 2014

Sprint: Forget all we said about strangling your web video streams

US telco Sprint has killed off its attempt to strangle internet video streaming on its so-called "unlimited" phone plan. The carrier said its "All-In" $80 monthly plan will no longer impose a 600Kbps cap on streaming video speeds. "At Sprint, we strive to provide customers a great experience when using our network. We heard you …
Shaun Nichols, 01 Jul 2015
Ofcom logo

Ofcom slaps Channel 5 for loud PlayStation ads

With talk of a next-gen console, revamps to PSN and a spanking new handheld on the way, Sony has been making a lot of noise lately. Not quite in the same way its advertising campaign for PS3 has, though. UK broadcaster Channel 5 has been slapped on the wrist by watchdog Ofcom after 17 viewers complained that PlayStation 3 …
Caleb Cox, 06 Jul 2011
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for Cupertino' …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
Cartoon - Private SNAFU

What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Data centres are loud, noisy places. So loud, it's often hard for anyone to hear your screams and cries of frustration when Murphy decides to make you the example for his law. For some, this is a good thing. For others, this is why social media was invented. Outages of all kinds echo out into social media like waves in a pond. …
Josh Folland, 03 Jul 2015
Facepalm by Ron Mander

VMware wins cool reception for two-CPU eval software

VMware has kicked off a new program that looks like it will make it easier to build home labs. Mostly. The new EVALExperienence program is pretty simple: cough up the US$200 required to become a member of the VMware user group (VMUG) Advantage program and you'll find yourself able to download and run vCenter Server, vSphere with …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jan 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was slapped with an ASBO back in April 2009, ordering her to refrain from "making excessive noise, knocking, shouting, screaming or vocalisation that can be heard in …
Lester Haines, 30 Jun 2010

Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

Sorry, sci-fi fans: pretty much anyone who's imagined what a near-light-speed spacecraft would look like has got it wrong, because they've forgotten its interaction with photons. Not only that, but according to a couple of scientists working for Raytheon, it doesn't matter whether Einstein's proposition that you'll never …
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence

Australian opposition floats startups-and-STEM stimulus plan

Australia's opposition leader Bill Shorten has outlined a startups-and-STEM-fuelled plan for Australia. In his speech in reply to treasurer Joe Hockey's budget, Shorten said “I believe Australia can be the science, start-up and technology capital of our region: attracting the best minds, supporting great institutions and …
Simon Sharwood, 14 May 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex a human right, says loud sex woman

A Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking earned her an ASBO and multiple cuffings will declare in court that the order is a violation of her human rights. Caroline Cartwright, 48, of Washington, was dragged before magistrates back in April for five breaches of a noise abatement order requiring her to turn down the volume …
Lester Haines, 10 Nov 2009
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

NGINX scores $20 MEELLLION to remind people it sells stuff

Web-server-maker NGINX has a tricky problem: its software is used by the likes of Netflix and Dropbox, it can claim 40 per cent of the world's top 1,000 web as users, but that ability to operate at extraordinary scale isn't translating into the hoped-for level of sales of its commercial products and services. The for-cash stuff …
Simon Sharwood, 10 Dec 2014

Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

Film Review Plenty has already been written about Paul Feig’s attempts to prove that women are, indeed, funny in films like Bridesmaids and The Heat and still more has been said about the potential of Melissa McCarthy to break out of the frumpy, fat supporting roles and into the Hollywood A-list. But anyone who thinks they’re getting stuck …
Bambi and Thumper

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

Disney has been awarded a patent for an “Online content ranking system based on authenticity metric values for web elements.” The patent will interest many because Disney says “Embodiments … enable the filtering of undesirable search results, such as results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the …
stopwatch

FCC takes three-month pause to consider massive telecoms mergers

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has announced it's pausing before making a decision over the proposed merger of Comcast and Time Warner Cable (TWC) and AT&T's gobbling of DirecTV, citing legal issues. The agency planned to announce the results of its three-month review of both mergers at the end of March, but has …
Iain Thomson, 16 Mar 2015
Blade Runner (1982)

More Human: Designing a World Where People Come First

Page File There are two interesting sides to Steve Hilton, the former political advisor once called “Cameron’s Brain”. One is a kind of Holy Fool, who in Government asked questions nobody else dare ask. How come today we need half a million civil servants, when the British Empire was run with just 4,000 from Somerset House? Why do we need …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 May 2015

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter and labelled Google worse than the NSA. Here's The Dirty Digger's missive: NSA privacy invasion bad, but nothing compared to Google. — Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) August 17, 2014 Murdoch and Google have history, with the former accusing the latter of stealing his newspapers …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
Admiral Mike Rogers of the NSA

Why does the NSA's boss care so much about backdoors when he can just steal all our encryption keys?

NSA director Admiral Mike Rogers has said it is vital Uncle Sam's crimefighters snoop on people – and that this should be possible even if citizens use strong encryption. The spymaster reckons Americans should secure their communications against all eavesdroppers – except, of course, those working for the police, FBI and the NSA …
Iain Thomson, 25 Feb 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

Film Review The one thing you can definitely say about George Miller’s revival of his post-apocalyptic Aussie outback petrolhead Mad Max is that it stays true to the original films. There’s no Mel Gibson this time around, of course, instead the mantle of the monosyllabic, mentally-compromised desert drifter is worn by Tom Hardy. Mad Max: …
President Putin doing judo

What? El Reg had a cheap dig at Putin?! SAY IT AIN'T SO

CoTW Dissing Vladimir Putin and re-publishing all those hilarious "macho" PR pics of him over the years is a public service. Unfortunately, one Register commentard disagrees. Happily, you all disagree with him. DISAGREECEPTION. First, before we show you that particular snippet, here's a few other little gobbets of joy from this week' …
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 2014
The Register breaking news

Latvian film fan pops cap in loud popcorn eater

Updated Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan. According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the …
Lester Haines, 21 Feb 2011
Robot Overlords

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults

Film Review Robot Overlords is an old-school kids’ movie, with none of the surreptitious nods to the dragged along adult audiences that we’ve become accustomed to, just friendly, under-13s fun. When a race of giant alien robots come to Earth, the war (represented by sound effects behind a blank screen for the youngsters) lasts just 11 days …
X+Y movie

X+Y shows teens are teens, regardless of where they are 'on the spectrum'

Film Review X+Y plays a familiar tune on our heartstrings, echoing movies like Little Man Tate, Rain Man and Beautiful Mind in its portrayal of Nathan Ellis, a mathematical prodigy with mild autism struggling to navigate his way through social relationships. Despite an early diagnosis of being “on the spectrum”, Nathan has a close emotional …
Alice in Alice's Adventures Underground. Pic credit: Jason Joyce

Alice's Adventures Underground: Don't be late for this very important date

Theatre Review As I head down to the revived Vaults below London's Waterloo, I figure that the Jabberwocky must be up to some mischief as the performance starts an hour and a half late due to a power outage. This wait, combined with an open bar, could see the opening gala of Alice’s Adventures Underground become more of a scene from an Irvine …
Lucy Orr, 19 Apr 2015

Xen accelerates ARM server race with version 4.5

Version 4.5 of the Xen hypervisor is upon us. Those responsible for the new release are chuffed to report they've packed a couple of dozen big new features in this time around, doubling the 4.4 release's count. And there's more to come: some useful stuff couldn't be squeezed into this release. But before we get to those …
Simon Sharwood, 16 Jan 2015
Hololens

PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

Build 2015 Microsoft is serious about HoloLens, and devoted some stage time during Wednesday morning's keynote at the Build conference in San Francisco to explain how its futuristic headset will be more than just a fancy toy. Game developers are reportedly already exploring the possibilities inherent in a headset that can superimpose …
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO breach woman spared jail

The Tyne and Wear woman found guilty of breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from indulging in unnaturally loud sex has been spared hard time, the Telegraph reports. Caroline Cartwright, 48, was cuffed three times in short succession back in April last year for failing to adhere to the order, which insisted she and hubby …
Lester Haines, 25 Jan 2010
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …
Lester Haines, 22 Mar 2010

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Microsoft has turned 1,500 applications out of the Windows Store, the app bazaar for Windows 8 devices. In a post titled How we’re addressing misleading apps in Windows Store, Microsoft explains it has conducted a promised spring clean by changing the rules for admission to the store and will henceforth insist on the following …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
The Alfa 4C needs a small number plate

Buy with your head, drive with your heart: Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe

Vulture at the Wheel The Alfa Romeo 4C is unusual. It’s not, like every other Alfa, “the make or break car for the company’s future” – a tag which has been attached to pretty much every new launch since the 75 in 1985. The 4C is truly head-turning If you buy a 4C, budget for a shorter number plate At £51,500, this is an out-and-out sports car. …
Simon Rockman, 21 Jun 2015

A brief introduction to converged infrastructure

Sometimes, it’s better to think inside the box. Bundling different IT components together into a single unit may just solve some of your computing problems, if you plan it right. Welcome to the world of IT convergence. Depending on which vendor or analyst you talk to, it’s known as an integrated system, a unified computing …
Robin Birtstone, 23 Jun 2015

Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film

Film Review The internet has fundamentally changed the way we interact with one another - but at the same time it, like, hasn't. That seems to be the message behind the cringey and contrived Men, Women and Children. Starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, Dean Norris, Judy Greer and Rosemarie DeWitt among others, this film is the latest " …
Kat Hall, 30 Nov 2014

Nothing illegal to see here: Tribunal says TEMPORA spying is OK

The UK’s Investigatory Powers Tribunal (IPT) ruled Friday that GCHQ’s mass surveillance TEMPORA program is legal ... in principle. The IPT said that (again, in principle) British spooks are entitled to carry out mass surveillance of all fibre optic cables entering or leaving the UK under the 2000 RIPA law. It made the ruling …
Jennifer Baker, 05 Dec 2014
Logitech G430

Playing by stealth: Twelve gaming headsets to plonk on your noggin

Product roundup After receiving an email with the recommended specs needed to run Witcher 3, I reckoned that if I’m going to have to update my graphics card, then I might as well update my headset too. Experiencing immersive surround sound and can make a huge difference to enjoying high-intensity games where split-second decision-making means …
Lucy Orr, 03 Apr 2015
Makes a loud noise when stolen

Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE

Do you ever get the feeling that your luggage is having a better time than you on long-haul flights? An indulgence from Ericsson's engineers could let you know for sure. The Ericsson security suitcase has what is effectively a mobile phone built into it which monitors where it is and what is going on around it. If baggage …
Simon Rockman, 01 Jul 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo

Innovation agenda's code for kids plan still a work in progress

The ”Coding across the curriculum” plan included in Australia's “Industry Innovation and Competitiveness Agenda” is yet to be developed, and is yet to be targeted at particular students or schools. The AU$3.5m plan was announced last week, just two days after a review of Australia's national curriculum recommended a recently- …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
John Legere

T-Mobile US boss: Hey, FTC! We didn't make THAT much from 'bogus premium texts'

The head of T-Mobile US is refuting claims from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) that his company made huge revenues from allowing customers to be flooded with expensive text messages. CEO John Legere said his cell network never bagged the "hundreds of millions of dollars" that the commission claims it did when people were …
Shaun Nichols, 03 Jul 2014
hoverboard

Back to the ... drawing board: 'Hoverboard' will disappoint Marty McFly wannabes

The internet is aflutter over the Kickstarter campaign for the "Hendo Hoverboard", a magnetically levitating toy that the firm alleges will be available on October 21, 2015 – the same day that Michael J Fox programmed into the De Lorean for the second Back to the Future film. hoverboard As a consumer device it looks a little …
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
Samsung Galaxy S6

Steely wonder? It's blind to 4G and needs armour: Samsung Galaxy S6

Review I’ve found life is so much easier if one sticks to three simple rules. Never drive a Volvo car, never buy a Samsung phone, and always grind your own coffee. However, I might have to rethink one of those – and it isn’t the coffee. Samsung Galaxy S6 Samsung's Galaxy S6 flagship handset Samsung can’t do anything without a …
Andrew Orlowski, 08 Apr 2015

US Congress in cash freeze bid to DERAIL global DNS handover

US Congress has attempted to stall ceding control of the world's domain-name system – by defunding the government department responsible. The crucial IANA contract to provide global DNS, allocate IP addresses, and so on, is due to expire in 2015. ICANN runs those IANA functions for the American government under that contract. …
Kieren McCarthy, 10 Dec 2014

Democrats pitch long-shot bid for FCC ban on prioritization deals

A group of Democrats in Congress have drafted a bill to bar the FCC from allowing "fast lane" prioritization deals. Dubbed the "Online Competition and Consumer Choice Act," the legislation would call on the FCC to ban carriers from making the paid prioritization deals in which content providers pay service providers to receive …
Shaun Nichols, 17 Jun 2014
Macbook 2015. Pic: Apple

Apple MacBook 2015: Twelve inches of slim and shiny fanboi joy

Review As Geddy Lee of Rush once sang – “plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose”. When Apple unveiled the MacBook Air back in 2008 we all scoffed and said that Steve Jobs’ slimline progeny was over-priced and underpowered. “It doesn’t even have an Ethernet port”, came the mocking cry (followed by the entire PC industry doing exactly …
Stephen Dean, 06 May 2015
Munchkin Adventure Time

Cylon is golden: Backstabbing bank holiday board games

Product Roundup The Bank Holiday weekend is upon us, so why not prepare for a wet weekend, as is the tradition, and go in search of some backstabbing board games? These games can involve working co-operatively with my fellow players, which can be rewarding, but you can always change your mind and there’s nothing like sadistic satisfaction of …
Lucy Orr, 02 May 2015
Malcolm Turnbull

Turnbull: Coding skills 'will be almost as important as literacy and numeracy'

Australia's Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has come out in favour of teaching kids of all ages to code. In a blogged transcript of a speech delivered last weekend, Turnbull notes that the review of the national curriculum recommended digital technologies not be taught as a discrete subject, and industry discomfort with …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Oct 2014
Pac-Man Google game (taken from Google home page on anniversary of Pac-Man )

The voters hate Google. Heeeeyyyy... how about a 'Google Tax'?

Worstall on Wednesday As the tech news outlet of record has told us, UK chancellor George Osborne is preparing to bring in the “Google Tax”. Properly known as the Diverted Profits Tax, it is supposed to be a way of scraping tax revenue off those profits that the tech giants are diverting out of what should be righteously paid to HM Treasury and …
Tim Worstall, 11 Mar 2015

Laughing gas and rubber: A recipe for suborbital flight?

This summer, the skies above Nevada will thunder to the sound of a mighty hybrid rocket motor, as the Boston University Rocket Propulsion Group (BURPG) sends its Starscraper vehicle past the symbolic 100km Kármán line. BURPG group shot at motor test site BURPG: Laughing gas and rubber Having recently tin-rattled its way to …
Lester Haines, 26 Feb 2015
IBM 5150 PC

Doctors urged to adopt default opt-out approach to care.data scheme

A patients' group has urged doctors to automatically opt their patients out of the new "care.data" scheme until the patients give consent for the disclosure of their medical data. The Patient Concern campaign group said that patient trust in their GPs would be undermined if doctors shared the medical data stored on their systems …
OUT-LAW.COM, 27 Oct 2014
Big Data logo

The Big Data revolution: Big Bang or loud noise?

Analysis Anyone currently employed in any area of the IT business will be aware, however reluctantly, of the considerable amount of effort being put into marketing ‘Big Data’. Well brace yourselves, there's more of this to come. During August and September of 2012 Freeform Dynamics surveyed 502 IT professional readers of The Register to …
Tony Lock, 08 Oct 2012