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Articles about Loud

Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

A tearful Steve Ballmer has admitted he was a big part of the problem at Microsoft – and that the company needs to rethink its management structure to succeed in the future. "At the end of the day, we need to break a pattern. Face it: I'm a pattern," company CEO Ballmer told The Wall Street Journal with apparent tears in his …
Iain Thomson, 16 Nov 2013
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for Cupertino' …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
Ofcom logo

Ofcom slaps Channel 5 for loud PlayStation ads

With talk of a next-gen console, revamps to PSN and a spanking new handheld on the way, Sony has been making a lot of noise lately. Not quite in the same way its advertising campaign for PS3 has, though. UK broadcaster Channel 5 has been slapped on the wrist by watchdog Ofcom after 17 viewers complained that PlayStation 3 …
Caleb Cox, 06 Jul 2011

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter and labelled Google worse than the NSA. Here's The Dirty Digger's missive: NSA privacy invasion bad, but nothing compared to Google. — Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) August 17, 2014 Murdoch and Google have history, with the former accusing the latter of stealing his newspapers …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was slapped with an ASBO back in April 2009, ordering her to refrain from "making excessive noise, knocking, shouting, screaming or vocalisation that can be heard in …
Lester Haines, 30 Jun 2010
The Register breaking news

Loud sex a human right, says loud sex woman

A Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking earned her an ASBO and multiple cuffings will declare in court that the order is a violation of her human rights. Caroline Cartwright, 48, of Washington, was dragged before magistrates back in April for five breaches of a noise abatement order requiring her to turn down the volume …
Lester Haines, 10 Nov 2009

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Microsoft has turned 1,500 applications out of the Windows Store, the app bazaar for Windows 8 devices. In a post titled How we’re addressing misleading apps in Windows Store, Microsoft explains it has conducted a promised spring clean by changing the rules for admission to the store and will henceforth insist on the following …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo

Innovation agenda's code for kids plan still a work in progress

The ”Coding across the curriculum” plan included in Australia's “Industry Innovation and Competitiveness Agenda” is yet to be developed, and is yet to be targeted at particular students or schools. The AU$3.5m plan was announced last week, just two days after a review of Australia's national curriculum recommended a recently- …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Oct 2014
hoverboard

Back to the ... drawing board: 'Hoverboard' will disappoint Marty McFly wannabes

The internet is aflutter over the Kickstarter campaign for the "Hendo Hoverboard", a magnetically levitating toy that the firm alleges will be available on October 21, 2015 – the same day that Michael J Fox programmed into the De Lorean for the second Back to the Future film. hoverboard As a consumer device it looks a little …
Iain Thomson, 22 Oct 2014
Makes a loud noise when stolen

Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE

Do you ever get the feeling that your luggage is having a better time than you on long-haul flights? An indulgence from Ericsson's engineers could let you know for sure. The Ericsson security suitcase has what is effectively a mobile phone built into it which monitors where it is and what is going on around it. If baggage …
Simon Rockman, 01 Jul 2014
John Legere

T-Mobile US boss: Hey, FTC! We didn't make THAT much from 'bogus premium texts'

The head of T-Mobile US is refuting claims from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) that his company made huge revenues from allowing customers to be flooded with expensive text messages. CEO John Legere said his cell network never bagged the "hundreds of millions of dollars" that the commission claims it did when people were …
Shaun Nichols, 03 Jul 2014
The Register breaking news

Latvian film fan pops cap in loud popcorn eater

Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan. According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the …
Lester Haines, 21 Feb 2011

Democrats pitch long-shot bid for FCC ban on prioritization deals

A group of Democrats in Congress have drafted a bill to bar the FCC from allowing "fast lane" prioritization deals. Dubbed the "Online Competition and Consumer Choice Act," the legislation would call on the FCC to ban carriers from making the paid prioritization deals in which content providers pay service providers to receive …
Shaun Nichols, 17 Jun 2014
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO breach woman spared jail

The Tyne and Wear woman found guilty of breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from indulging in unnaturally loud sex has been spared hard time, the Telegraph reports. Caroline Cartwright, 48, was cuffed three times in short succession back in April last year for failing to adhere to the order, which insisted she and hubby …
Lester Haines, 25 Jan 2010
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …
Lester Haines, 22 Mar 2010

Etsy security rule #1: Don't be a jerk to devs

Businesses should deploy bug bounty programs, phish their staff and launch intelligent attacks against their networks, Zane Lackey says. The now chief security officer of SignalSciences ran through the experience of building and adapting Etsy's security team. Lackey (@zanelackey) and his colleagues, who left the hipster bazaar …
Darren Pauli, 02 Oct 2014
VMware logo

Suppose they gave a VMworld and vSphere didn't show up?

A hypothetical VMworld 2014 attendee utterly unfamiliar with VMware could conceivably have emerged from the event unaware that the company's flagship product is called vSphere. But if one poked one's head into the right places at the show it was possible to learn a little about the product's future. Our tip that version 6.0 of …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Aug 2014
H.264 image scaling

HEVC patent prices are out. Look who's NOT at the codec party: Microsoft and Google

The MPEG Licensing Authority (MPEG LA) has released pricing for High Efficiency Video Coding (HEVC) that is almost certainly low enough to claim the market overnight. HEVC is the successor to the tech used to encode video stored on Blu-ray Discs and streamed in high-definition digital TV transmissions the world over. The …
Faultline, 03 Oct 2014

Robins' inbuilt navigators pecked to bits by AM radio

Humans often claim to be able to sense wireless fields by way of headaches – the so-called WiFi syndrome – but pity the European Robin, whose navigational abilities may be spoiled by electromagnetic radiation. That's the suggestion put forward in this paper in Nature. The frequencies the researchers looked at had nothing to do …
Big Data logo

The Big Data revolution: Big Bang or loud noise?

Anyone currently employed in any area of the IT business will be aware, however reluctantly, of the considerable amount of effort being put into marketing ‘Big Data’. Well brace yourselves, there's more of this to come. During August and September of 2012 Freeform Dynamics surveyed 502 IT professional readers of The Register to …
Tony Lock, 08 Oct 2012
Photo of the KitKat mascot among the Android lawn statues

I'm Feeling LUCKY OR LAZY™? Chrome gets hands-free voice search

Google has developed a Chrome plugin to allow desktop users to activate the browser's voice-controlled web search feature just by saying "OK, Google". The advertising giant said the "hotword" will start a Google search without any clicking or typing in of queries required. Users just have to say "OK Google" followed by a search …
Shaun Nichols, 27 Nov 2013
HP SlateBook 14

Reg hardware hunter spots HP SlateBook 14 Android in the wild

July isn’t over yet and so it follows, neither is, er, marketing Christmas*. This time Currys/PC World was playing host to this summer PR tech fest that showcases products that’ll be in stores leading up to festive season. Push aside the wrapping paper and ribbons and with any luck you’ll spot an early outing of a product or …
Bob Dormon, 14 Jul 2014

Video: Whatever you do, DON'T BREAK Tianhe-2

It's mostly cluster-building, processor-fumbling fun, but there will also be a few tenser moments for the teams of students attending the ASC Student Supercomputer Challenge. First, there's the competitive aspect... and then there's the fact that they'll be expected to run code on the 33,862.7 TFlop/s Tianhe-2 supercomputer: …

Filipino phablet squawks 'I'M STOLEN'

Smartphone feature fatigue is upon us, with even the Galaxy S4's eyeball tracker and the iPhone 5S' fingerprint reader capable only of inducing yawns of grudging appreciation. Enter Filipino smartmobe-maker my|phone, its new Iceberg model and a new feature called Tara, aka the “Theft Apprehension and Asset Recovery Application …
Simon Sharwood, 03 Oct 2013
Violin

Flash biz Violin plays for $162m shower of notes - will rivals drown it out?

Flash array startup Violin Memory wants to raise $162m in a stock-market debut, according to paperwork filed for its IPO. Earlier this month rival Pure Storage received $150m in a funding round, which may or may not be significant in Violin's pricing calculations. Other recent big-bucks flash-array news this month has included …
Chris Mellor, 17 Sep 2013
A black hole

Take CTRL! Shallow minds ponder the DEEP spectre of DARK CACHE

If in doubt, right-click. It’s a motto that has served me well and stood the test of time. Can’t locate a command under multiple sub-menus? Right-click – it’s probably in the contextual menu. Can’t remember what the command is called? Right-click – you’ll find it there. Have absolutely no idea what to do next? Right-click – it …
Alistair Dabbs, 12 Oct 2014
Columns of coins in the cloud

Splunk plunks seductive AaaS on Amazon cloud

Splunk has launched a free analytics-as-a-service product based on the Amazon Web Services cloud. The company, whose name may or may not have been generated by a desperate Scrabble player, announced on Tuesday that its paid-for Splunk Enterprise product is now available as a service based on the AWS cloud. Splunk's technology …
Jack Clark, 01 Oct 2013
Pigeon crapping on statue

UK.gov IT supplier catalogue G-Cloud 4 goes titsup

Gremlins in the system have caused approved government supplier catalogue CloudStore to crash this morning - not that any tech buyers in public sector would have been crying into their cornflakes. A Cabinet Office spokesman confirmed work took place over the weekend in preparation for today's relaunch of the G-Cloud 4 framework …
Paul Kunert, 11 Nov 2013
Fight Night Champion

FIGHT! BlackBerry,T-Mobile US CEOs clash in 'inappropriate' ad spat

Wireless carrier T-Mobile US would like to see its BlackBerry customers switch over to Apple's camp – and die-hard BlackBerry users are none too happy about it, to say nothing of BlackBerry CEO John Chen. The brouhaha began last week, when T-Mobile US reportedly sent emails to some of its customers offering them financing on new …
Neil McAllister, 19 Feb 2014
The design of the USB Condom

Chap unrolls 'USB condom' to protect against viruses

A US-based chap has invented a gadget he's calling a USB condom. The prophylactic dongle is advanced as protection for the largely hypothetical problem of malware injection from fake USB chargers. Such polluted ports come in two varieties. The first got an airing at Black Hat, where researchers demonstrated a USB charger that …
Simon Sharwood, 17 Sep 2013
Nvidia GeForce GTX Titan Z

Nvidia unveils Titan Z: An 8TFLOPS off-the-shelf supercomputer disguised as a gfx card

Nvidia has released its most powerful – and, in our memory at least, its most expensive – GeForce graphics card ever, the GTX Titan Z, which you can have for a hefty $2,999. Nvidia GeForce GTX Titan Z Five thousand, seven hundred and sixty CUDA cores of 'cool and quiet' GPU power That's not such a high price, said Nvidia CEO …
Rik Myslewski, 26 Mar 2014
Malcolm Turnbull

Turnbull gave NBN Co NO RULES to plan blackspot upgrades

Australia's Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has issued no specific guidance on how NBN Co, the company charged with building Australia's National Broadband Network (NBN), should target broadband blackspots. In response to questions from The Register, the Department of Communications sent us the following statement it …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Apr 2014
Inatek BP2001 Bluetooth Speaker

Inateck BP2001 Bluetooth speaker: The metalhead sysadmin's choice? Not exactly

The Inateck BP2001 is a 2 x 5W Bluetooth enabled portable stereo speaker. It's reasonably stylish in design, easy to use, has a slot on top where your mobile device sits and charges via standard micro-USB. It's a reasonably good catch at £50, although the Inateck website will direct you to Amazon where you can buy it for under £ …
The Register breaking news

Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

The Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking was described as "murder" and "unnatural" by neighbours has admitted breaching an ASBO ordering her to turn down the volume. Caroline Cartwright, 48, was hauled before magistrates back in April for five breaches of a noise abatement order which required her to cut the decibels …
Lester Haines, 15 Dec 2009
management regulation2

Startup CEO Chahal fired for domestic violence incident

Self-described “die hard entrepreneur” Gurbaksh Chahal, founder of two online advertising startups and recently CEO and chair of soon-to-list digital marketing outfit RadiumOne, has been fired after becoming the subject of intense pressure from online activists after being fined for domestic violence. This chapter in Chahal's …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Apr 2014

Welcome, weary digital titans, to the Disruptive Mindfulness UnSummit

In a pop-up mind gymnasium, 700 miles from Moscow … The warm, salty water of the flotation tank lapped gently around my midriff. In the total darkness, my three companions were beginning to relax. Snowden’s anxious gibbering had subsided into deep breaths. Just then, what sounded like an underwater volcano erupting resonated …
Steve Bong, 26 Sep 2014
Malcolm Turnbull

Turnbull leaves Australia's broadband blackspots in the dark

Australians without broadband are no closer to being able to understand when, or if, the nation's National Broadband Network (NBN) will make fast data connections available, after Australia's Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull issued a new Statement of Expectations document to NBN Co, the entity charged with building the …
Simon Sharwood, 09 Apr 2014

FLIGHTMARE! Inflight cell calling debuts, dealing heavy blow to quality of life

Flying cattle class on most carriers is usually an unpleasant business but it's about to get a lot worse thanks to Gogo, which has figured out a way to let passengers make calls and texts from their mobiles while in flight. Gogo already provides in-flight Wi-Fi for flights using a network of ground stations that an aircraft can …
Iain Thomson, 09 Nov 2013
The new Twitter logo. Pic: Twitter

Sorry Dick: 3 reasons why Twitter will NEVER be unblocked in China

Twitter CEO Dick Costolo is in China this week visiting the country but rumours of the microblogging platform’s resurrection there have been greatly exaggerated. Twitter and Facebook have been blocked in the Middle Kingdom since 2009, when the government claimed they had been used by protesters to organise ahead of deadly anti- …
Phil Muncaster, 18 Mar 2014

Government-built malware running out of control, F-Secure claims

A surprising number of governments are now deploying their own custom malware – and the end result could be chaos for the rest of us, F-Secure's malware chief Mikko Hyppönen told the TrustyCon conference in San Francisco on Thursday. "Governments writing viruses: today we sort of take that for granted but 10 years ago that would …
Iain Thomson, 28 Feb 2014

Nokia sidles up to Qualcomm, hands over bulging map package

Nokia Here will be sharing its global floorplan database with Qualcomm, putting indoor maps together with indoor positioning in an assault on the last place one can get lost. Here is Nokia's mapping division. It has accumulated a huge database of airports, museums and venues which it will share with Qualcomm in the new deal. …
Bill Ray, 01 Aug 2013
Electronic devices dangerous to flight safety

Kiss goodbye to quiet skies: Now FCC ready to OK in-flight cellphone use

The US Federal Communications Commission has indicated that it plans to relax the rules about cellphone use in flights, meaning everyone's going to get an earful in the future. "Today, we circulated a proposal to expand consumer access and choice for in-flight mobile broadband," FCC chairman Tom Wheeler said in a statement on …
Iain Thomson, 22 Nov 2013
Alien: Isolation

Lights off, nappies on! It's Alien: Isolation and The Evil Within

H.R. Giger’s Necronomicon used to be my bedtime book of choice. There’s something about the design of the original Alien that left me with a pseudo sexual queasiness, all moist egg vaginas and huge phallic headed xenomorphs. As the flickering 20th Century Fox Logo fills my screen, like some Videodrome VHS tape, I get a familiar …
Lucy Orr, 14 Oct 2014

You'll find Yoda at the back of every IT conference

On stage, the presenter barely pauses for breath as he shares his extraordinary knowledge with rapid-fire delivery. His audience is captivated, amazed, enthralled. Digital design students all, they are learning from a master of online retail what life is like at the cutting edge of user interaction, giving them a hint of the hi- …
Alistair Dabbs, 15 Aug 2014
wildcat

Robot WildCat slips its leash and bounds around parking lot

Boston Dynamics has been showing off its latest creation, a petrol-powered robot called WildCat that can outpace a human using running styles copied from the animal world. "WildCat is a four-legged robot being developed to run fast on all types of terrain," says the company when describing the video, above. "So far WildCat has …
Iain Thomson, 05 Oct 2013

Sweaty European youngsters get to grips with ‘coffee table of doom’

It was a hot week in Leipzig - "sweating through your shirt five minutes after you walk out of your hotel" hot. However, extreme heat and even the resulting prickly heat won’t keep us from checking in with all of the teams during the last day of the ISC’13 Student Cluster Challenge. First up are the teams from Europe:Team …
Asus MeMO Pad 7 Android tablet

You didn't get the MeMO? Asus Pad 7 Android tab is ... not bad

What’s the best affordable 7-inch tablet? Surely it’s got to be either the Nexus 7 or the LG G Pad 8.3 or if the pair of them are too dear, the Hudl – right? Wrong. Asus MeMO Pad 7 Android tablet Asus MeMO Pad 7 Android tablet Asus’s new £120 MeMO Pad 7 may not be better than the Google, LG and Tesco devices in all areas but …
Alun Taylor, 28 Jul 2014
Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition

A premium smartie lump: Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition

While most Chinese smartphone OEMs started life making cheap tat and then slowly began moving upmarket, Oppo has taken a slightly different tack. Its devices have been fairly high-end from the get-go and the N1, initially released running Android 4.2 back in September 2013, made quite a splash. Oppo N1 CyanogenMod Edition Oppo …
Alun Taylor, 22 Apr 2014
Samsung Galaxy Note Edge camera

PHABBA-DABBA-DOO! Samsung Galaxy Note 4, Edge, Gear VR – feast your eyes

So what is a rock band doing on stage at Samsung’s Unpacked 2 mobile event, the prelude to its showing at IFA 2014 in Berlin? As the enormo projections above them show the keyboard solo being played on a Galaxy handset, all becomes clear... sort of. Soundcamp Samsung’s new realtime music solution Soundcamp: Samsung’s new …
Bob Dormon, 04 Sep 2014
Sony Xperia Z1 Compact

Little pink handjob: Sony's Xperia Z1 Compact

For the last 18 or so months, if you'd wanted a high-end Android smartphone you’ve had to make do with something a bit on the large size. The HTC One, Samsung Galaxy S4, LG G Flex, Nokia 925, Sony Xperia Z1 all have one thing in common: they are big old Hectors compared to Apple’s iPhone 5S. Sony Xperia Z1 Compact Sony Xperia …
Alun Taylor, 28 Mar 2014