Articles about Loud

A loud, confusing, exciting jumble of the great and the gregarious

Collision 2015 We may have been a few miles from the famous Las Vegas Strip and all the noise and splendor, but there was no shortage of hubbub in the two giant, aircraft-hangar-like pavilions that hosted the Collision techbiz conference this week. It was loud. Loud and busy. Probably too loud and busy. The big stages were shrouded in giant …
Kieren McCarthy, 08 May 2015

Definitions matter. For crying out loud, securobods, BE SPECIFIC – ENISA

Definitions matter when your infrastructure is under threat says European Union Agency for Network and Information Security (ENISA). ENISA’s latest report, published on Thursday, concludes that there is an increase in the occurrence of routing threats, DNS threats and DDoS attacks to internet infrastructure. Its advice? Get your …
Jennifer Baker, 15 Jan 2015
Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

A tearful Steve Ballmer has admitted he was a big part of the problem at Microsoft – and that the company needs to rethink its management structure to succeed in the future. "At the end of the day, we need to break a pattern. Face it: I'm a pattern," company CEO Ballmer told The Wall Street Journal with apparent tears in his …
Iain Thomson, 16 Nov 2013

Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

Future Decoded Once upon a time, around every November, Steve Ballmer visited the UK on an official, annual state visit. Microsoft parked a giant metaphor DeLorean at the entrance to its Future Decoded conference in London Microsoft’s ex-CEO took time out from meeting customers to meet selected national press or trades to whom he’d say …
Gavin Clarke, 11 Nov 2014

Aussies turn to comic cat videos for comfort

Internet cat videos really are conquering the world, or at the very least have started doing so in Australia, a nation now stripped of all sporting prowess, where the UK's Channel 5 production Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud has topped the nation's free-to-air TV ratings. First screened in the UK in January 2015, the show is …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Aug 2015
Ofcom logo

Ofcom slaps Channel 5 for loud PlayStation ads

With talk of a next-gen console, revamps to PSN and a spanking new handheld on the way, Sony has been making a lot of noise lately. Not quite in the same way its advertising campaign for PS3 has, though. UK broadcaster Channel 5 has been slapped on the wrist by watchdog Ofcom after 17 viewers complained that PlayStation 3 …
Caleb Cox, 06 Jul 2011

Sprint: Forget all we said about strangling your web video streams

US telco Sprint has killed off its attempt to strangle internet video streaming on its so-called "unlimited" phone plan. The carrier said its "All-In" $80 monthly plan will no longer impose a 600Kbps cap on streaming video speeds. "At Sprint, we strive to provide customers a great experience when using our network. We heard you …
Shaun Nichols, 01 Jul 2015
shutterstock_273641723

Spotify climbs down on new terms and conditions

Spotify will clarify its position on its wide-reaching terms and conditions. In a post entitled “SORRY”, company founder Daniel Ek said: “We have heard your concerns loud and clear. We are also going to update the new Privacy Policy in the coming weeks.” In the post, Ek paints it as a misunderstanding of what Spotify was …
Simon Rockman, 21 Aug 2015

ISC ’15 Student Cluster Competition: Euro kids answered the calls to arms

HPC Blog Eight countries from five continents sent eleven university student teams to do battle at the recently concluded ISC’15 Student Cluster Competition. If you multiply 8 x 5 x 11, you get 440; a number that has no relevance to this article. Europe was ably represented by four teams. Let’s have a video introduction to each of them …

Samsung barks out the orders, reveals its 3D flash lead

The top dog in the flash industry has just barked out loud and strong; emphasising its 3D flash process lead, Samsung is mass-producing 48-layer, 256Gbit 3D NAND chips, essentially tech SanDisk/Toshiba is hopeful of shipping next year. Sammy is currently shipping 32-layer 3D V-NAND chips which Dell is using in its Storage …
Chris Mellor, 11 Aug 2015
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for Cupertino' …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
Cartoon - Private SNAFU

What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Data centres are loud, noisy places. So loud, it's often hard for anyone to hear your screams and cries of frustration when Murphy decides to make you the example for his law. For some, this is a good thing. For others, this is why social media was invented. Outages of all kinds echo out into social media like waves in a pond. …
Josh Folland, 03 Jul 2015
hand_puppet by MIKI Yoshihito

LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

LinkedIn has reversed a recent decision to make it harder for members to download information about those who've decided to connect with them on the business-centric social network. The company's original decision removed a facility that allowed users to more-or-less-instantly download a .CSV file of all their connections. The …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015

Google's new parent Alphabet owns abc.xyz – and, yup, there's already an abc.wtf

Google's new parent Alphabet, unable to buy alphabet.com, has snapped up abc.xyz in a recursive-satire rush. (We'll explain in a second.) The domain-grab has already spawned a spoof (more at the end of this story). Following the announcement that the web ad/search goliath will be folded inside a new company called Alphabet, …
Kieren McCarthy, 11 Aug 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was slapped with an ASBO back in April 2009, ordering her to refrain from "making excessive noise, knocking, shouting, screaming or vocalisation that can be heard in …
Lester Haines, 30 Jun 2010
Facepalm by Ron Mander

VMware wins cool reception for two-CPU eval software

VMware has kicked off a new program that looks like it will make it easier to build home labs. Mostly. The new EVALExperienence program is pretty simple: cough up the US$200 required to become a member of the VMware user group (VMUG) Advantage program and you'll find yourself able to download and run vCenter Server, vSphere with …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jan 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex a human right, says loud sex woman

A Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking earned her an ASBO and multiple cuffings will declare in court that the order is a violation of her human rights. Caroline Cartwright, 48, of Washington, was dragged before magistrates back in April for five breaches of a noise abatement order requiring her to turn down the volume …
Lester Haines, 10 Nov 2009

Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

Sorry, sci-fi fans: pretty much anyone who's imagined what a near-light-speed spacecraft would look like has got it wrong, because they've forgotten its interaction with photons. Not only that, but according to a couple of scientists working for Raytheon, it doesn't matter whether Einstein's proposition that you'll never …
London buses, photo: Transport for London

VMAX flashes its virtues for all to see

You wait for a bus forever, then two come along at once. So it is with EMC and SPC benchmarks, and all of a sudden we have both SPC-1 VNX8000 and SPC-2 VMAX 400K. The Storage Performance Council lists industry-standard random block IO performance (SPC-1) and streaming storage performance benchmark results (SPC-2). Each one …
Chris Mellor, 03 Aug 2015
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence

Australian opposition floats startups-and-STEM stimulus plan

Australia's opposition leader Bill Shorten has outlined a startups-and-STEM-fuelled plan for Australia. In his speech in reply to treasurer Joe Hockey's budget, Shorten said “I believe Australia can be the science, start-up and technology capital of our region: attracting the best minds, supporting great institutions and …
Simon Sharwood, 14 May 2015
Still from the movie Zoolander: Derek and a fellow model try to get the 'files' out of the Mac by smashing it to pieces. copyright Paramount Pictures

America's tweaks to weapons trade pact 'will make web less secure'

The period for comments on proposed amendments to the Wassenaar Arrangement – which governs the export of guns, lasers and proper weaponry, and computer hardware and software – ends today. So far, the tweaks concerning IT security products have received an overwhelming thumbs-down from the technology community. In May the US …
Iain Thomson, 21 Jul 2015
ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini Android smartphone

ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini: The able Android smartie the company won't sell you

Review The Nubia brand is largely unknown in the UK, because ZTE chooses not to flog its so-named wares here in Blighty. Nevertheless, international-spec Nubia Z9s are reasonably easy to acquire and when Chinese wholesaler GearBest offered to lend us one to poke with the El Reg reviewing stick, we thought: why not? ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini …
Alun Taylor, 18 Aug 2015
2028GR_TRT HDD Caddies

Crazy Canucks heat their lab with muahaha-capable server

Review Playing with cool technology is not why either of us chose systems administration as a career. Nor was it something we expected as part of our employment. That said, it is impossible to deny the attraction cool technology has. It is fitting, then, that on systems administrator day we get the chance to publish a review on the …
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

NGINX scores $20 MEELLLION to remind people it sells stuff

Web-server-maker NGINX has a tricky problem: its software is used by the likes of Netflix and Dropbox, it can claim 40 per cent of the world's top 1,000 web as users, but that ability to operate at extraordinary scale isn't translating into the hoped-for level of sales of its commercial products and services. The for-cash stuff …
Simon Sharwood, 10 Dec 2014

Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

Film Review Plenty has already been written about Paul Feig’s attempts to prove that women are, indeed, funny in films like Bridesmaids and The Heat and still more has been said about the potential of Melissa McCarthy to break out of the frumpy, fat supporting roles and into the Hollywood A-list. But anyone who thinks they’re getting stuck …
Bambi and Thumper

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

Disney has been awarded a patent for an “Online content ranking system based on authenticity metric values for web elements.” The patent will interest many because Disney says “Embodiments … enable the filtering of undesirable search results, such as results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the …
The Register breaking news

Latvian film fan pops cap in loud popcorn eater

Updated Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan. According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the …
Lester Haines, 21 Feb 2011
stopwatch

FCC takes three-month pause to consider massive telecoms mergers

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has announced it's pausing before making a decision over the proposed merger of Comcast and Time Warner Cable (TWC) and AT&T's gobbling of DirecTV, citing legal issues. The agency planned to announce the results of its three-month review of both mergers at the end of March, but has …
Iain Thomson, 16 Mar 2015

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter and labelled Google worse than the NSA. Here's The Dirty Digger's missive: NSA privacy invasion bad, but nothing compared to Google. — Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) August 17, 2014 Murdoch and Google have history, with the former accusing the latter of stealing his newspapers …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014
Blade Runner (1982)

More Human: Designing a World Where People Come First

Page File There are two interesting sides to Steve Hilton, the former political advisor once called “Cameron’s Brain”. One is a kind of Holy Fool, who in Government asked questions nobody else dare ask. How come today we need half a million civil servants, when the British Empire was run with just 4,000 from Somerset House? Why do we need …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 May 2015
Admiral Mike Rogers of the NSA

Why does the NSA's boss care so much about backdoors when he can just steal all our encryption keys?

NSA director Admiral Mike Rogers has said it is vital Uncle Sam's crimefighters snoop on people – and that this should be possible even if citizens use strong encryption. The spymaster reckons Americans should secure their communications against all eavesdroppers – except, of course, those working for the police, FBI and the NSA …
Iain Thomson, 25 Feb 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

Film Review The one thing you can definitely say about George Miller’s revival of his post-apocalyptic Aussie outback petrolhead Mad Max is that it stays true to the original films. There’s no Mel Gibson this time around, of course, instead the mantle of the monosyllabic, mentally-compromised desert drifter is worn by Tom Hardy. Mad Max: …
President Putin doing judo

What? El Reg had a cheap dig at Putin?! SAY IT AIN'T SO

CoTW Dissing Vladimir Putin and re-publishing all those hilarious "macho" PR pics of him over the years is a public service. Unfortunately, one Register commentard disagrees. Happily, you all disagree with him. DISAGREECEPTION. First, before we show you that particular snippet, here's a few other little gobbets of joy from this week' …
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 2014
Robot Overlords

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults

Film Review Robot Overlords is an old-school kids’ movie, with none of the surreptitious nods to the dragged along adult audiences that we’ve become accustomed to, just friendly, under-13s fun. When a race of giant alien robots come to Earth, the war (represented by sound effects behind a blank screen for the youngsters) lasts just 11 days …
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO breach woman spared jail

The Tyne and Wear woman found guilty of breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from indulging in unnaturally loud sex has been spared hard time, the Telegraph reports. Caroline Cartwright, 48, was cuffed three times in short succession back in April last year for failing to adhere to the order, which insisted she and hubby …
Lester Haines, 25 Jan 2010
One Nation Under CCTV

Still safe as houses: More CCTV for the masses

Feature Last week, I looked at two home camera systems: Arlo from Netgear and Welcome from Netatmo. To recap, Arlo is pretty much a straightforward cloud-based CCTV system, offering you cameras with motion sensors and notification, together with an app to view things on your phone. Netatmo's Welcome is a stand-alone camera – again …
Nigel Whitfield, 15 Aug 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …
Lester Haines, 22 Mar 2010
X+Y movie

X+Y shows teens are teens, regardless of where they are 'on the spectrum'

Film Review X+Y plays a familiar tune on our heartstrings, echoing movies like Little Man Tate, Rain Man and Beautiful Mind in its portrayal of Nathan Ellis, a mathematical prodigy with mild autism struggling to navigate his way through social relationships. Despite an early diagnosis of being “on the spectrum”, Nathan has a close emotional …

Sengled lightbulb speakers: The best worst stereo on Earth

Review It's not often these days that you are disappointed by a product. Websites with online ratings and amateur reviews have made it so easy and fast for people to share experiences of new gizmos that you can instantly tell a hit from a dud – and avoid the duds. What makes the Sengled lightbulbs all the more disappointing is that I …
Kieren McCarthy, 05 Aug 2015
Alice in Alice's Adventures Underground. Pic credit: Jason Joyce

Alice's Adventures Underground: Don't be late for this very important date

Theatre Review As I head down to the revived Vaults below London's Waterloo, I figure that the Jabberwocky must be up to some mischief as the performance starts an hour and a half late due to a power outage. This wait, combined with an open bar, could see the opening gala of Alice’s Adventures Underground become more of a scene from an Irvine …
Lucy Orr, 19 Apr 2015

Xen accelerates ARM server race with version 4.5

Version 4.5 of the Xen hypervisor is upon us. Those responsible for the new release are chuffed to report they've packed a couple of dozen big new features in this time around, doubling the 4.4 release's count. And there's more to come: some useful stuff couldn't be squeezed into this release. But before we get to those …
Simon Sharwood, 16 Jan 2015
Hololens

PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

Build 2015 Microsoft is serious about HoloLens, and devoted some stage time during Wednesday morning's keynote at the Build conference in San Francisco to explain how its futuristic headset will be more than just a fancy toy. Game developers are reportedly already exploring the possibilities inherent in a headset that can superimpose …
Neil McAllister, 29 Apr 2015

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Microsoft has turned 1,500 applications out of the Windows Store, the app bazaar for Windows 8 devices. In a post titled How we’re addressing misleading apps in Windows Store, Microsoft explains it has conducted a promised spring clean by changing the rules for admission to the store and will henceforth insist on the following …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Aug 2014
The Alfa 4C needs a small number plate

Buy with your head, drive with your heart: Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe

Vulture at the Wheel The Alfa Romeo 4C is unusual. It’s not, like every other Alfa, “the make or break car for the company’s future” – a tag which has been attached to pretty much every new launch since the 75 in 1985. The 4C is truly head-turning If you buy a 4C, budget for a shorter number plate At £51,500, this is an out-and-out sports car. …
Simon Rockman, 21 Jun 2015

A brief introduction to converged infrastructure

Sometimes, it’s better to think inside the box. Bundling different IT components together into a single unit may just solve some of your computing problems, if you plan it right. Welcome to the world of IT convergence. Depending on which vendor or analyst you talk to, it’s known as an integrated system, a unified computing …
Robin Birtstone, 23 Jun 2015

Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film

Film Review The internet has fundamentally changed the way we interact with one another - but at the same time it, like, hasn't. That seems to be the message behind the cringey and contrived Men, Women and Children. Starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, Dean Norris, Judy Greer and Rosemarie DeWitt among others, this film is the latest " …
Kat Hall, 30 Nov 2014
Bose QuietComfort 25 Acoustic Noise Cancelling headphones

Fancy a mile-high EARJOB? We've had five!

Review Yes, noise-cancelling headphones are useful in all manner of times and places, but they really shine during air travel by blocking some of the endless bass rumble that jet engines emit. Bose QuietComfort 25 Acoustic Noise Cancelling headphones Make your flights less hum-drum with some noise cancelling headphones …
Simon Sharwood, 22 Aug 2015
Makes a loud noise when stolen

Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE

Do you ever get the feeling that your luggage is having a better time than you on long-haul flights? An indulgence from Ericsson's engineers could let you know for sure. The Ericsson security suitcase has what is effectively a mobile phone built into it which monitors where it is and what is going on around it. If baggage …
Simon Rockman, 01 Jul 2014

Nothing illegal to see here: Tribunal says TEMPORA spying is OK

The UK’s Investigatory Powers Tribunal (IPT) ruled Friday that GCHQ’s mass surveillance TEMPORA program is legal ... in principle. The IPT said that (again, in principle) British spooks are entitled to carry out mass surveillance of all fibre optic cables entering or leaving the UK under the 2000 RIPA law. It made the ruling …
Jennifer Baker, 05 Dec 2014
Logitech G430

Playing by stealth: Twelve gaming headsets to plonk on your noggin

Product roundup After receiving an email with the recommended specs needed to run Witcher 3, I reckoned that if I’m going to have to update my graphics card, then I might as well update my headset too. Experiencing immersive surround sound and can make a huge difference to enjoying high-intensity games where split-second decision-making means …
Lucy Orr, 03 Apr 2015