Articles about Loud

Paris bins banlieue bit barn because cloud is too loud

Interxion will have to launch an appeal in France if it's to save a €130m-plus data centre in Paris. An administrative court in the Paris suburb of Montreuil has withdrawn the 9,000 square metre data centre's planning permission following action brought by residents. The residents had three complaints: the bit-barn's …

A loud, confusing, exciting jumble of the great and the gregarious

Collision 2015 We may have been a few miles from the famous Las Vegas Strip and all the noise and splendor, but there was no shortage of hubbub in the two giant, aircraft-hangar-like pavilions that hosted the Collision techbiz conference this week. It was loud. Loud and busy. Probably too loud and busy. The big stages were shrouded in giant …
Kieren McCarthy, 08 May 2015

Definitions matter. For crying out loud, securobods, BE SPECIFIC – ENISA

Definitions matter when your infrastructure is under threat says European Union Agency for Network and Information Security (ENISA). ENISA’s latest report, published on Thursday, concludes that there is an increase in the occurrence of routing threats, DNS threats and DDoS attacks to internet infrastructure. Its advice? Get …
Jennifer Baker, 15 Jan 2015
Steve Ballmer as Doctor Evil

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

A tearful Steve Ballmer has admitted he was a big part of the problem at Microsoft – and that the company needs to rethink its management structure to succeed in the future. "At the end of the day, we need to break a pattern. Face it: I'm a pattern," company CEO Ballmer told The Wall Street Journal with apparent tears in his …
Iain Thomson, 16 Nov 2013

Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

Future Decoded Once upon a time, around every November, Steve Ballmer visited the UK on an official, annual state visit. Microsoft parked a giant metaphor DeLorean at the entrance to its Future Decoded conference in London Microsoft’s ex-CEO took time out from meeting customers to meet selected national press or trades to whom he’d say …
Gavin Clarke, 11 Nov 2014

Scarface's explosive 'Little Friend' goes under the hammer

The M16 rifle used to explosive effect by Al Pacino as Cuban drug dealer Tony Montana in the climactic battle scene of Scarface goes under the hammer later this month in Los Angeles. The Scarface M-16. Pic: Julien's Auctions The non-firing firearm, complete with prop M203 grenade launcher, features large and loud in Brian …
Lester Haines, 06 Nov 2015
"Nope in Manchester" - Erokism on Flickr - CC 2.0 license

Samsung yanks plug out of rumors of networking biz sell-off

Samsung is nipping in the bud talk of selling its mobile network business. The South Korean electronics giant said on Wednesday that rumors posted earlier this week suggesting it was looking to find a buyer for its networking operations were untrue. "Some news media have contended that Samsung Electronics is considering to …
Shaun Nichols, 25 Nov 2015
Ofcom logo

Ofcom slaps Channel 5 for loud PlayStation ads

With talk of a next-gen console, revamps to PSN and a spanking new handheld on the way, Sony has been making a lot of noise lately. Not quite in the same way its advertising campaign for PS3 has, though. UK broadcaster Channel 5 has been slapped on the wrist by watchdog Ofcom after 17 viewers complained that PlayStation 3 …
Caleb Cox, 06 Jul 2011

Aussies turn to comic cat videos for comfort

Internet cat videos really are conquering the world, or at the very least have started doing so in Australia, a nation now stripped of all sporting prowess, where the UK's Channel 5 production Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud has topped the nation's free-to-air TV ratings. First screened in the UK in January 2015, the show is …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Aug 2015

Sprint: Forget all we said about strangling your web video streams

US telco Sprint has killed off its attempt to strangle internet video streaming on its so-called "unlimited" phone plan. The carrier said its "All-In" $80 monthly plan will no longer impose a 600Kbps cap on streaming video speeds. "At Sprint, we strive to provide customers a great experience when using our network. We heard you …
Shaun Nichols, 01 Jul 2015

Ring Chime: Needy wireless doorbell or $30 bling t'ing?

Review We were quite taken with the Ring doorbell earlier this year. For $200, and after some very basic DIY, you get a high-tech security device. It includes an HD camera, an intercom, a motion sensor and, yes, a doorbell. The Ring links to your phone, gives you alerts, lets you watch video of people through it and lets you have a …
Kieren McCarthy, 14 Oct 2015

Spotify climbs down on new terms and conditions

Spotify will clarify its position on its wide-reaching terms and conditions. In a post entitled “SORRY”, company founder Daniel Ek said: “We have heard your concerns loud and clear. We are also going to update the new Privacy Policy in the coming weeks.” In the post, Ek paints it as a misunderstanding of what Spotify was …
Simon Rockman, 21 Aug 2015

ISC ’15 Student Cluster Competition: Euro kids answered the calls to arms

HPC Blog Eight countries from five continents sent eleven university student teams to do battle at the recently concluded ISC’15 Student Cluster Competition. If you multiply 8 x 5 x 11, you get 440; a number that has no relevance to this article. Europe was ably represented by four teams. Let’s have a video introduction to each of them …
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
Super Woofer by Pleuntje, Flickr, under Creative Commons 2.0

Love your IoT gadget but could you keep the noise down?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Shutupshutupshutup. There’s a man with an extraordinarily annoying voice on this floor and I wish he would take his fulsomely resonating gob somewhere else. Blah blah market synchronisation blah blah invested intelligence blah blah cooperative disruption arse bollocks. Don’t you just love open-plan offices? Actually, come to …
Alistair Dabbs, 20 Nov 2015

Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

Review So, um, I love the Amazon Echo. For those of you already frothing at the mouth in righteous indignation, please feel free to scroll to the bottom right away, click "Post a comment" and vent about privacy, Jeff Bezos' secret police, and whatever else is bothering. Meanwhile, for the rest of you, let's get straight to it: the …
Kieren McCarthy, 16 Oct 2015

Samsung barks out the orders, reveals its 3D flash lead

The top dog in the flash industry has just barked out loud and strong; emphasising its 3D flash process lead, Samsung is mass-producing 48-layer, 256Gbit 3D NAND chips, essentially tech SanDisk/Toshiba is hopeful of shipping next year. Sammy is currently shipping 32-layer 3D V-NAND chips which Dell is using in its Storage …
Chris Mellor, 11 Aug 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was slapped with an ASBO back in April 2009, ordering her to refrain from "making excessive noise, knocking, shouting, screaming or vocalisation that can be heard in …
Lester Haines, 30 Jun 2010
Cartoon - Private SNAFU

What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Data centres are loud, noisy places. So loud, it's often hard for anyone to hear your screams and cries of frustration when Murphy decides to make you the example for his law. For some, this is a good thing. For others, this is why social media was invented. Outages of all kinds echo out into social media like waves in a pond. …
Josh Folland, 03 Jul 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex a human right, says loud sex woman

A Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking earned her an ASBO and multiple cuffings will declare in court that the order is a violation of her human rights. Caroline Cartwright, 48, of Washington, was dragged before magistrates back in April for five breaches of a noise abatement order requiring her to turn down the volume …
Lester Haines, 10 Nov 2009
hand_puppet by MIKI Yoshihito

LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

LinkedIn has reversed a recent decision to make it harder for members to download information about those who've decided to connect with them on the business-centric social network. The company's original decision removed a facility that allowed users to more-or-less-instantly download a .CSV file of all their connections. The …
Simon Sharwood, 28 Jul 2015

Google's new parent Alphabet owns – and, yup, there's already an

Google's new parent Alphabet, unable to buy, has snapped up in a recursive-satire rush. (We'll explain in a second.) The domain-grab has already spawned a spoof (more at the end of this story). Following the announcement that the web ad/search goliath will be folded inside a new company called Alphabet, …
Kieren McCarthy, 11 Aug 2015
The refreshed OneDrive for Business browser view

Microsoft previews less buggy OneDrive for Business client

Microsoft is previewing a new client for OneDrive for Business cloud storage, following many complaints about sync reliability in the existing client, which was based on Office Groove. OneDrive for Business is part of Office 365, where it is also known as SharePoint online. It uses different technology than the consumer …
Tim Anderson, 01 Oct 2015
Facepalm by Ron Mander

VMware wins cool reception for two-CPU eval software

VMware has kicked off a new program that looks like it will make it easier to build home labs. Mostly. The new EVALExperienence program is pretty simple: cough up the US$200 required to become a member of the VMware user group (VMUG) Advantage program and you'll find yourself able to download and run vCenter Server, vSphere with …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Jan 2015


Sorry, sci-fi fans: pretty much anyone who's imagined what a near-light-speed spacecraft would look like has got it wrong, because they've forgotten its interaction with photons. Not only that, but according to a couple of scientists working for Raytheon, it doesn't matter whether Einstein's proposition that you'll never …
London buses, photo: Transport for London

VMAX flashes its virtues for all to see

You wait for a bus forever, then two come along at once. So it is with EMC and SPC benchmarks, and all of a sudden we have both SPC-1 VNX8000 and SPC-2 VMAX 400K. The Storage Performance Council lists industry-standard random block IO performance (SPC-1) and streaming storage performance benchmark results (SPC-2). Each one …
Chris Mellor, 03 Aug 2015

External vs internal: Why hybrid cloud is the way to go

A never-ending stream of cloud providers tells us that they can do a better job than our internal IT departments. And occasionally we come across surveys claiming the same thing. Is it all marketing puff or is there some substance in claims that external is better than internal? They look after the servers for you … but ... …
Dave Cartwright, 12 Oct 2015
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence

Australian opposition floats startups-and-STEM stimulus plan

Australia's opposition leader Bill Shorten has outlined a startups-and-STEM-fuelled plan for Australia. In his speech in reply to treasurer Joe Hockey's budget, Shorten said “I believe Australia can be the science, start-up and technology capital of our region: attracting the best minds, supporting great institutions and …
Simon Sharwood, 14 May 2015
Still from the movie Zoolander: Derek and a fellow model try to get the 'files' out of the Mac by smashing it to pieces. copyright Paramount Pictures

America's tweaks to weapons trade pact 'will make web less secure'

The period for comments on proposed amendments to the Wassenaar Arrangement – which governs the export of guns, lasers and proper weaponry, and computer hardware and software – ends today. So far, the tweaks concerning IT security products have received an overwhelming thumbs-down from the technology community. In May the US …
Iain Thomson, 21 Jul 2015
ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini Android smartphone

ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini: The able Android smartie the company won't sell you

Review The Nubia brand is largely unknown in the UK, because ZTE chooses not to flog its so-named wares here in Blighty. Nevertheless, international-spec Nubia Z9s are reasonably easy to acquire and when Chinese wholesaler GearBest offered to lend us one to poke with the El Reg reviewing stick, we thought: why not? ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini …
Alun Taylor, 18 Aug 2015
The Register breaking news

Latvian film fan pops cap in loud popcorn eater

Updated Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan. According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the …
Lester Haines, 21 Feb 2011
Acer's PC Phone, the Jade Primo

Microsoft rolls out Windows 10 Mobile preview update

First look Microsoft has rolled out Windows 10 Mobile build 10536 as part of its Insider Program Preview. It is likely that this build is close to the first full release, since the company has also sent out invitations to an event in New York on October 6, at which we are promised "exciting news about Windows 10 devices." Plausible …
Tim Anderson, 16 Sep 2015
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

NGINX scores $20 MEELLLION to remind people it sells stuff

Web-server-maker NGINX has a tricky problem: its software is used by the likes of Netflix and Dropbox, it can claim 40 per cent of the world's top 1,000 web as users, but that ability to operate at extraordinary scale isn't translating into the hoped-for level of sales of its commercial products and services. The for-cash stuff …
Simon Sharwood, 10 Dec 2014
2028GR_TRT HDD Caddies

Crazy Canucks heat their lab with muahaha-capable server

Review Playing with cool technology is not why either of us chose systems administration as a career. Nor was it something we expected as part of our employment. That said, it is impossible to deny the attraction cool technology has. It is fitting, then, that on systems administrator day we get the chance to publish a review on the …
Woman drawing  boxes and arrows

When hyperconvergence meets the cloud (but who will need it?)

Hyperconvergence is a term that's being bandied about all over the place. tells us that it's “a type of infrastructure system with a software-centric architecture that tightly integrates compute, storage, networking and virtualization resources and other technologies from scratch in a commodity hardware box supported …
Dave Cartwright, 26 Oct 2015
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO breach woman spared jail

The Tyne and Wear woman found guilty of breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from indulging in unnaturally loud sex has been spared hard time, the Telegraph reports. Caroline Cartwright, 48, was cuffed three times in short succession back in April last year for failing to adhere to the order, which insisted she and hubby …
Lester Haines, 25 Jan 2010

Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

Film Review Plenty has already been written about Paul Feig’s attempts to prove that women are, indeed, funny in films like Bridesmaids and The Heat and still more has been said about the potential of Melissa McCarthy to break out of the frumpy, fat supporting roles and into the Hollywood A-list. But anyone who thinks they’re getting stuck …
Bambi and Thumper

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

Disney has been awarded a patent for an “Online content ranking system based on authenticity metric values for web elements.” The patent will interest many because Disney says “Embodiments … enable the filtering of undesirable search results, such as results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the …
The Register breaking news

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …
Lester Haines, 22 Mar 2010

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch has taken to Twitter and labelled Google worse than the NSA. Here's The Dirty Digger's missive: NSA privacy invasion bad, but nothing compared to Google. — Rupert Murdoch (@rupertmurdoch) August 17, 2014 Murdoch and Google have history, with the former accusing the latter of stealing his newspapers …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Aug 2014

Steve Jobs, The (real) Movie

¡Bong! I have been dismayed but not surprised to hear complaints that the movie by my friend Danny Boyle misrepresents the life of Steve Jobs, and contains numerous factual inaccuracies. Following our highly successful partnership on the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony, Danny and I worked closely developing the movie. Indeed, at one …
Steve Bong, 23 Oct 2015

FCC takes three-month pause to consider massive telecoms mergers

The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has announced it's pausing before making a decision over the proposed merger of Comcast and Time Warner Cable (TWC) and AT&T's gobbling of DirecTV, citing legal issues. The agency planned to announce the results of its three-month review of both mergers at the end of March, but has …
Iain Thomson, 16 Mar 2015
Blade Runner (1982)

More Human: Designing a World Where People Come First

Page File There are two interesting sides to Steve Hilton, the former political advisor once called “Cameron’s Brain”. One is a kind of Holy Fool, who in Government asked questions nobody else dare ask. How come today we need half a million civil servants, when the British Empire was run with just 4,000 from Somerset House? Why do we need …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 May 2015
President Putin doing judo

What? El Reg had a cheap dig at Putin?! SAY IT AIN'T SO

CoTW Dissing Vladimir Putin and re-publishing all those hilarious "macho" PR pics of him over the years is a public service. Unfortunately, one Register commentard disagrees. Happily, you all disagree with him. DISAGREECEPTION. First, before we show you that particular snippet, here's a few other little gobbets of joy from this week' …
Gareth Corfield, 09 Nov 2014
Admiral Mike Rogers of the NSA

Why does the NSA's boss care so much about backdoors when he can just steal all our encryption keys?

NSA director Admiral Mike Rogers has said it is vital Uncle Sam's crimefighters snoop on people – and that this should be possible even if citizens use strong encryption. The spymaster reckons Americans should secure their communications against all eavesdroppers – except, of course, those working for the police, FBI and the NSA …
Iain Thomson, 25 Feb 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

Film Review The one thing you can definitely say about George Miller’s revival of his post-apocalyptic Aussie outback petrolhead Mad Max is that it stays true to the original films. There’s no Mel Gibson this time around, of course, instead the mantle of the monosyllabic, mentally-compromised desert drifter is worn by Tom Hardy. Mad Max: …
Robot Overlords

Robot Overlords: Tween babysitting fodder with no in-jokes for the adults

Film Review Robot Overlords is an old-school kids’ movie, with none of the surreptitious nods to the dragged along adult audiences that we’ve become accustomed to, just friendly, under-13s fun. When a race of giant alien robots come to Earth, the war (represented by sound effects behind a blank screen for the youngsters) lasts just 11 days …
X+Y movie

X+Y shows teens are teens, regardless of where they are 'on the spectrum'

Film Review X+Y plays a familiar tune on our heartstrings, echoing movies like Little Man Tate, Rain Man and Beautiful Mind in its portrayal of Nathan Ellis, a mathematical prodigy with mild autism struggling to navigate his way through social relationships. Despite an early diagnosis of being “on the spectrum”, Nathan has a close emotional …
One Nation Under CCTV

Still safe as houses: More CCTV for the masses

Feature Last week, I looked at two home camera systems: Arlo from Netgear and Welcome from Netatmo. To recap, Arlo is pretty much a straightforward cloud-based CCTV system, offering you cameras with motion sensors and notification, together with an app to view things on your phone. Netatmo's Welcome is a stand-alone camera – again …
Nigel Whitfield, 15 Aug 2015

Tech, telcos, and digital crusties gang up against the EU's Digital Single Market

It’s normal to hear copyright industry lobbyists complain about the European Commission’s hasty reform agenda – but not people who the commission might have presumed would be its supporters. Out-of-touch Brussels Eurocrats were blasted by tech industry groups, telcos, and even a digital rights group for, they said, trying to …
Andrew Orlowski, 09 Sep 2015