Articles about Jonas

Grand Theft Auto Lindsay Lohan lookalike

Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto V cartoon case kicked out of court

Hellraiser Lindsay Lohan has had her case against Grand Theft Auto developers Rockstar Games, for allegedly basing a character on her image, thrown out by a New York court. The actress claimed that her image was used as the basis of one of the game's characters, Lacey Jonas. The Jonas character allowed players to rescue her …
Kat Hall, 02 Sep 2016
Crowd watches fireworks at night in the field. Photo by Shutterstock

Speaking in Tech: As long as you don't blow your fingers off, you're all good

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise This week Sarah Vela and Eddie pound the pod' to discuss Pernix Data, Google bets and open source communities. Our special guest this week is Jonas Rosland, Developer Advocate and Community Manager at EMC. (1:00) Speaking in Duets (3:24) Double dipping (4:30) Rumour: …
Team Register, 06 Jul 2016
Broken glass girl image via Shutterstock

Learn a scripting language and play nicely: How to get a DevOps job

You’ve almost certainly heard about DevOps and the fact there’s a skills shortage. One study by data virtualisation specialist Delphix reckoned the most implemented DevOps initiatives include virtual databases, agile data masking and continuous deployment. That's opportunity, right? If you want to muscle in on the DevOps …
Rachel Willcox, 06 May 2016
Jerry Maguire

DevOps, huh? Show me the money. Show me the MONAY!

As career buzzwords go, you’d struggle to find one that trumps DevOps judging by the number of conferences, software tools and books flooding the market. DevOps certainly seems to offer plenty of opportunities, straddling, as it does, disciplines across technology and management from building and managing apps to running and …
Rachel Willcox, 21 Mar 2016

What do Angolan rebels, ISIS widows, Metallica and a photographer have in common?

It's an unfair stereotype that America is the home of crazy lawsuits. Which is why we proudly present to you four lawsuits – all of which have emerged in the past few days – that put the stereotype proudly back on the map. You remember that lovely Angolan rebel chief Jonas Savimbi? You know, the one who was a Marxist and …
Kieren McCarthy, 14 Jan 2016
Monkey Selfie

Saudis go ape, detain Swedish monkeys at border

A quartet of confused Swedish monkeys have been denied entry to Saudi Arabia – the latest development in an escalating diplomatic row between the two countries. Four tiny Amazonian monkeys, each weighing just over 100g, are at the centre of the spat that started after Sweden's foreign minister criticised Saudi Arabia's human …
Kat Hall, 10 Apr 2015

Nordic Samuel Beckett meets Kafka meets Gervais: Modern office parable The Room

Page File Anyone who’s ever toiled under the glaring fluorescence of the dreary modern office will enjoy the slow descent of Björn from meticulous “man of the future” to nutty “monster”, courtesy of an unassuming ergonomically designed private office in his building. Told entirely from Björn’s point of view, Jonas Karlsson’s The Room …

All change at the top of HP's enterprise biz

A change at the top of HP’s enterprise distie team across both European and UK ops may well help solve the disconnect that occurred when a regionally drafted strategy was executed locally. At least that's the hope of some distributors, who want to see the strategic priorities of the business unit heads at country level match …
Paul Kunert, 30 Oct 2014
Germany celebrates winning Fifa world cup 2014 in Brazil

You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data

Evidence-based decision making is so clearly sensible because the alternative — making random decisions based on no evidence — is so clearly ludicrous. The “evidence” that we often use is in the form of information that we extract from raw data, often by data mining. Sadly, there has been an upsurge in the number people who …
Mark Whitehorn, 20 Oct 2014

Ex Red Hat CTO installs self as Google Cloud boss

Red Hat’s former technology chief Brian Stevens has floated over to Google to run its cloud operations. Stevens suddenly left the Linux distro maker and aspiring OpenStack cloud fluffer after 12 years as executive vice president and chief technology officer. As of this month, Stevens has become Google’s vice president of cloud …
Gavin Clarke, 10 Sep 2014
Sticker sheet

Weekend reads: Colorless Tsukuru, Kool Korea and strange encounters with IKEA wardrobes

Page File El Reg's avid bookworm Mark Diston chews his way through some of the latest foreign language bestsellers recently translated into English and Lucy Orr discovers how South Korea became cool. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage Mystery and Melancholy of a Street (1913) by Giorgio di Chirico A Mystery and …
Hacked sarcasm

Boffins find hundreds of thousands of woefully insecure IoT devices

More than 140,000 internet-of-things devices, from routers to CCTV systems contain zero-day vulnerabilities, backdoors, hard coded crackable passwords and blurted private keys, according to the first large scale analysis of firmware in embedded devices. Four researchers from EURECOM France found the flaws when conducting a …
Darren Pauli, 17 Aug 2014
Grand Theft Auto Lindsay Lohan lookalike

Lindsay Lohan sues Grand Theft Auto V makers for 'using her image'

Actress Lindsay Lohan is suing game devs Rockstar and Take-Two for allegedly copying her into their Grand Theft Auto V (GTAV) game. Grand Theft Auto Lindsay Lohan lookalike Lohan claims that the character of the rather vapid actress "Lacey Jonas" in the game amounts to using her likeness without permission and has accused …
The Panono team snapped from an airborne Panono

Flying 360° panoramic camera poised for lift-off

Three Berlin-based inventors are rattling the tin to raise funds for their Panono camera – a throwable photoglobe delivering "incredible full-spherical images". The Panono The 300g Panono packs 36 cameras, capable of delivering a 360°x360° 72 megapixel panorama. When launched heavenwards, an onboard accelerometer detects …
Lester Haines, 15 Nov 2013
Garbage dump (pic from US National archive)

Microsoft's dumpster-diver partner strategy is rubbish

Open ... and Shut Microsoft is not the worst corporate investor on the planet. But it's clearly not the best either, and threatens to undermine its own attempts to be relevant in growth markets like mobile and internet by continuing to buy buy stakes in or partner with also-rans like Barnes & Noble, Yahoo! and Nokia. Of course, it may be that …
Matt Asay, 04 May 2012
hands waving dollar bills in the air

RM investors spared a second heart attack in latest numbers

Beleaguered education IT supplier RM had no surprises in its fiscal Q1 trading update, bearing in mind that its sales tend to stroll in during the second half of the year. The firm has carved up non-core parts of the operation and flogged or closed them, launched a redundancy programme and got rid of two chief execs since a …
Paul Kunert, 26 Mar 2012
arrow pointing up

RM cuts loose Easytrace, flogs AMI biz as top boss legs it

Education technology provider RM has cut loose its loss-making access control and cashless catering system wing of its AMI business, known as Easytrace. The company confirmed the disposal in a trading statement to the City this morning. However, it will retain the school network management part of the AMI business - dubbed …
Team Register, 20 Jan 2012
The Register breaking news

Miley Cyrus hacker let off with probation

Josh Holly, the self-confessed Miley Cyrus hacker, has avoided jail for unrelated computer crimes, receiving three years' probation at a sentencing hearing on Monday. Holly, 22, from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, pleaded guilty last April to possessing about 200 stolen credit card numbers as well as running a celebrity MySpace pages …
John Leyden, 01 Nov 2011
SGI logo hardware close-up

Big data can be deduplicated

Opinion Ronaldo Yamashita, an ESG analyst in Brazil, took exception to the Isilon view that big data is not compressible and sent El Reg his reasoning why he thinks this is the case. When we talk about "text" big data, like logs or information gathered from different sources (e.g. web, credit agencies, Facebook), it is highly …
The Register breaking news

Scala daddy wraps his Java baby in Red Hat-ness

Martin Odersky – the man who created Scala, the Java-based programming language that now drives such big name web services as Twitter, Foursquare, and LinkedIn – has launched a company that provides service and support around an extensive open source application stack for the language. Both the company and the stack are known as …
Cade Metz, 12 May 2011
The Register breaking news

Google eats pseudo Swedish social startup

Google has acquired the Palo Alto-based startup Ångströ, an outfit that built all sorts of apps that hook into "social" sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. In a Friday blog post, Ångströ co-founder Rohit Khare indicated that his company had been snapped up by Mountain View, and though Google has not responded to our …
Cade Metz, 27 Aug 2010
The Register breaking news

Paris Hilton crowned 'Worst Actress of the Decade'

Jetsetting celebutard Paris Hilton has deservingly secured a special Razzie for Worst Actress of the Decade - acknowledging her contribution to cinema in works such as The Hottie and the Nottie, House of Wax and Repo - The Genetic Opera. The honour came on Saturday at the Gala 30th Annual Razzie Awards, where Eddie Murphy was …
Lester Haines, 08 Mar 2010
The Register breaking news

The Hurt Locker sweeps Oscars

Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker came away from the Oscars last night with six statuettes - double the number which Avatar secured for James Cameron's trophy cabinet. The Hurt Locker emerged as a clear winner of the 82nd Academy Awards, taking Directing, Film Editing, Best Picture, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing and Original …
Lester Haines, 08 Mar 2010
The Register breaking news

YouTube flooded with porn

YouTube has been hit with an avalanche of smut, uploaded by users of various messageboards apparently protesting at the site's removal of music videos. The video site has a zero-tolerance to nudity on the site - footage of doctors demonstrating breast examinations have famously been removed in the past, while footage of Saddam …
John Oates, 22 May 2009
The Register breaking news

NYC granny shoots mugger with .357 Magnum

A wheelchair-bound but hardly defenceless Harlem granny is being sued for $5m after popping a .357 Magnum cap into an alleged mugger, the New York Post reports. Margaret Johnson, 59, described as "a retired city bus driver who has a dislocated hip and a ruptured disc", was sitting in her motorised mobility scooter in September …
Lester Haines, 31 Mar 2009
The Register breaking news

Pirate Bay rejects law-breaking claims

A defendant in The Pirate Bay trial has dismissed claims that the notorious file sharing site’s activities are illegal. Jonas Nilsson, who represents The Pirate Bay’s co-founder Fredrik Neij, insisted in the defence counsel’s closing statement today that the BitTorrent tracker’s operations were completely legit. He also took …
Kelly Fiveash, 03 Mar 2009
Warning: train

Berlin bans handy iPhone metro app

Berlin public transportation company BVG has banned a popular iPhone application which helps to navigate the city's vast metro system with over 170 stations. Meanwhile, in the Netherlands Dutch Rail is threatening a student who developed a nifty train timetable for the iPhone. Both BVG and Dutch Rail claim the apps violate their …
Jan Libbenga, 04 Nov 2008
The Register breaking news

Bill Gates exposed as closet Yorkshireman

Bill Gates has been revealed as an honest-to-goodness, Hovis-munching, hardworking Yorkshireman by the same Halifax-based geneaologist who previously claimed that George Bush and John Kerry are both secret Emmerdale watchers. Old flat-cap Bill I'm from Halifax? That's a threp in't steans Gates’ tykey heritage was uncovered …
Joe Fay, 06 Aug 2008
The Register breaking news

Natasha Henstridge braces for Impact

In what is quite possibly the most ominous sci-fi news so far this year, Variety reports that Species minx Natasha Henstridge will star in Impact - a TV two-parter featuring a dwarf star hitting the Moon, followed by the usual apocalyptic pandemonium down on Earth. Henstridge will be joined for the romp by David James Elliott …
Lester Haines, 28 Apr 2008
The Register breaking news

Hannah Montana fails to defy laws of physics

Miley Cyrus fans have been left in a state of shocked disbelief by the revelation that the Disney star is obliged, like mere mortals, to obey the the fundamental laws of physics. The proof came during the 15-year-old's "Best of Both Worlds" tour, in which a swift costume change to transform the popstress from her alter ego …
Lester Haines, 14 Jan 2008
The Register breaking news

The 'Funky Business' consultants want to poke you

Column Recently, we've seen a spate of reports of employers blocking the use of social networking sites at work. With one estimate suggesting that sites such as Facebook cost UK employers over £130m a day in lost productivity, this is perhaps unsurprising. But the response from unions and technology commentators has been less …
William Davies, 08 Jan 2008
The Register breaking news

Vinyl lives! And why the net isn't (entirely) killing music

In The City Manchester's In The City music conference this year was the first without the presence of co-founder Tony Wilson, who died two months ago. But the local music network - and some parts of the London business - rallied to bring the event back to its roots. Unlike the endless circuit of "Future Of Music" talking shops, the panels …
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Oct 2007
The Register breaking news

JOnAS gets clustered

The OW2 Consortium - formed in January 2007 from the merger of the ObjectWeb and OrientWare open source communities - has added comprehensive, dynamic clustering support and a new batch of administration tools to support distributed applications in the latest version of its JOnAS application server, Version 4.8 Enterprise …
Phil Manchester, 22 Mar 2007
The Register breaking news

'Commercial scale' jitters delay Europe's IPR vote

The European Parliament has once again postponed the vote on the latest version of the Intellectual Property Rights (IPR) directive. This time, the delay is to "find a final compromise" on the definition of what constitutes "commercial scale" infringement under the new proposals. The Foundation for a Free Information …
Lucy Sherriff, 27 Feb 2007
The Register breaking news

Red Hat answers big boys with middleware

Red Hat is answering competitors in the Linux world with an SOA alliance that potentially unites JBoss with an open source rival. Systems integrator Bull is expanding an alliance with Red Hat by joining the JBoss community, where Bull will contribute to development of the middleware stack, and by becoming a strategic partner on …
Gavin Clarke, 21 Nov 2006
The Register breaking news

MS takes up legal cudgels against typosquatters

Microsoft has launched a legal offensive against "typosquatters" who register domains containing trademarked terms or misspelled words in the hope that lost surfers will help them rake in ad revenue. Early stages of the campaign include a pair of lawsuits against two, allegedly prolific, typosquatting operations. Redmond has …
John Leyden, 23 Aug 2006
The Register breaking news

Imagine Italy winning

Well, the judges have spoken and the results are in, and the winners of this year’s Imagine Cup are….Italy. The winning Italian team To be precise, the winners of the Software Design section of the event, in which the UK’s Team Three Pair were a contender, are the Italian students, Team Even .ctor, made up of Giorgio Sardo …
Martin Banks, 11 Aug 2006
The Register breaking news

Ruby on Rails

Tutorial Ruby is an object oriented scripting language. Rails is a Model-View-Controller (MVC) framework based on Ruby and used for developing web applications. An advantage of Ruby on Rails over J2EE is that it requires less code and doesn’t require any configuration files, except for a database configuration file. A Ruby on Rails web …
Deepak Vohra, 03 Jul 2006
The Register breaking news

Red Hat leans on JBoss for middleware

Red Hat is to junk its application server in favour of a competing offering from its latest acquisition, JBoss. According to Red Hat, it was important to own an application server because it "gives you the footprint to radiate out from". And JBoss gives Red Hat an application server with immediate brand recognition among users …
Gavin Clarke, 26 May 2006

Red Hat feels open source certification vibe

Red Hat has yet to release its first run of certified application stacks for Red Hat Enterprise Linux (RHEL) but already seems convinced it's on to something big. The OS maker has announced that it's looking into two more certification sets. Tim Yeaton, senior vice president for Red Hat's worldwide marketing, said Red Hat could …
Gavin Clarke, 30 Mar 2006
homeless man with sign

Red Hat designs rubber stamp for open source stacks

Red Hat will certify open source applications running on its Linux distribution with three subscription-based services that potentially challenge start-ups. The Linux distributor will certify and support a catalogue of open source software on Red Hat Enterprise Linux (RHEL), grouped into three buckets called the web application …
Gavin Clarke, 06 Dec 2005
fingers pointing at man

France and China share open source middleware love

A French consortium has reached an agreement with government representatives in China to develop a middleware stack using open source software from ObjectWeb. ObjectWeb, a Europe-based federation of open source middleware projects, and China's Orientware will build a common open source platform that integrates code from each …
Gavin Clarke, 04 Nov 2005

Gluecode gets IBM makeover

IBM has released a refreshed and re-packaged edition of its Gluecode application server, in the first formal move since buying Gluecode to crush open source and undercut closed source competitors. The systems giant has added the Apache Geronimo M5 code base to Gluecode, meaning certified support for Java 2 Enterprise Edition ( …
Gavin Clarke, 25 Oct 2005
The Register breaking news

Nokia's iPod-killer phone slips to 2006

Nokia only began to partner with Microsoft earlier this year - but already it's showing signs of catching Longhorn Syndrome. The Finnish phone giant has confirmed that its would-be iPod killer, the N91 music phone, will miss the Christmas shopping season, and won't now ship until Q1 2006. "What we basically decided is that we …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Sep 2005

Oh, the 'maturing' middleware market

IBM, BEA Systems and Oracle continue to dominate the application deployment software market, although the big three face the challenges of a maturing market. Analyst IDC's annual survey of licensing and maintenance revenues found IBM top in 2004 with 37 per cent of the market (2003: 35.6 per cent), BEA second on 12 per cent ( …
Gavin Clarke, 26 Jul 2005
graph up

Can Sun turn SOA rhetoric into weapon against IBM and SAP?

As with asking someone you fancy out on a first date, IT strategy is often a matter of timing. Having completely missed out on the Java application server market, Sun Microsystems now seems to be positioning itself to take a slice of the SOA pie. Two events happened last week that indicate Sun is doing a lot more forward …
Gavin Clarke, 06 Jul 2005
The Register breaking news

Lycos Germany bins IP address data

Lycos DSL in Germany says it will no longer store dynamic IP addresses of its customers, now that a specialist on data privacy laws from Frankfurt University has threatened to sue the company. Jonas Breyer had asked Lycos what data was kept on him and whether that information was shared with backbone providers, but the ISP …
Jan Libbenga, 20 May 2005
The Register breaking news

Fighting computer crooks the Las Vegas way

RSA 2005 Computing techniques used to identify cheaters in Las Vegas are being applied to wider computer security and fraud detection problems. SRD, a Las Vegas software developer which was acquired by IBM last month, is taking its identity resolution software from the gaming tables into corporate boardrooms. SRD's business intelligence …
John Leyden, 23 Feb 2005
The Register breaking news

Politics gets messy, Vulture Central style

Letters special Let’s just get straight to it, with a letter from a chap called Frank. Indeed, it is Frank’s letter that has prompted this particular letters special: There have been some rants in your letters pages recently about how the register should be getting out of political debate and sticking to IT. Keep the politics. First off, I …
Lucy Sherriff, 28 Oct 2004
The Register breaking news

Sun rallies J2EE faithful

Long-time industry rivals rallied together in San Francisco today to salute a Java enterprise milestone, J2EE 1.4. The launch had actually come and gone recently, but without the required degree of unanimity. You could tell what the theme of the day was when an open source representative described IBM's recent call to open …
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Apr 2004