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Articles about Jobs

Batman in the frame to take on Steve Jobs

Pub trivia fans take note: in the near future you might be asked to explain the link between President Josiah Bartlett, Batman, Steve Jobs, Trainspotting, Facebook and the London Olympics opening ceremony. Start your answer with actor Christian Bale, who played Batman in The Dark Knight trilogy. According to Variety, Bale's in …
Simon Sharwood, 16 Oct 2014
Christian Bale is Steve Jobs

iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Batman Begins actor Christian Bale has declined the opportunity to channel the spirit of Steve Jobs and will no longer star in a biopic about the erstwhile Apple supremo. The film has been hit by personnel troubles ever since its inception. Bale is the second high-profile thesp to change his mind about playing the fruity fuhrer …
Jasper Hamill, 04 Nov 2014
Seth Rogen and Steve Wozniak

Seth Rogen bags Woz role in Sorkin's Steve Jobs biopic

It looks like beardy funnyman Seth Rogen will take on the role of Steve Wozniak in the second biopic of Apple guru Steve Jobs, which has Batman actor Christian Bale slated to take the lead role. Seth Rogen and Steve Wozniak That's Rogen on the left and Woz on the right Bearded Rogen will play the bearded Woz, sources have …

Is the tech jobs market really on the up-and-up? Tell us about it

After six lean years, the tech jobs market is supposedly easing up. So are you planning to check out the green shoots on the other side of the fence? Or are you struggling to fill jobs where you are? We’d love to know what your plans are, so we’d pleased as punch you can take a few minute to fill in this survey. ® Create …
Team Register, 08 Aug 2014
Terminators

FUTURE ROBOTS will EXTERMINATE UK jobs – study

One in three UK jobs will be performed by machine in as little as 20 years, according to a new study carried out the University of Oxford and Deloitte. Somewhere around a massive 10.8 million people could be replaced by machine by 2034, the researchers claim. Londoners are least likely to be affected (with only 30 per cent of …
Jennifer Baker, 10 Nov 2014

NEWSFLASH: You may ALREADY have seen Steve Jobs' willy

He's an actor with one of the most famous penises in Hollywood. Now the notoriously well-endowed superstar Michael Fassbender is set to play the tech world's "biggest dick": Steve Jobs. Fassbender is the latest high profile actor to be named as the star of an upcoming biopic about the Apple godhead. He will don the black …
Jasper Hamill, 25 Nov 2014
Old Bailey Lady Justice

More Home Office and MoJ jobs could move abroad, union warns

Jobs at the Ministry of Justice and the Home Office could be next in line to be offshored to India, the PCS union has warned, with both departments joining a £1bn shared services venture with outsourcing giant Steria. The Shared Services Connected (SSCL) joint venture, in which Steria owns a 75 per cent stake and the Cabinet …
Kat Hall, 31 Oct 2014
John Sculley at Web Summit 2014

Former Apple chief John Sculley says Steve Jobs 'never forgave him'

John Sculley, former Apple chief and forever famous for pushing Steve Jobs out of the company in the '80s, has said that the pair of tech entrepreneurs never patched things up between them. “We never really talked… Steve Jobs never forgave me – Apple was his baby,” Sculley admitted at the Web Summit in Dublin. He said that the …
steve jobs

Does this float your boat? Dead Steve Jobs to hijack yachts from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple cofounder Steve Jobs shuffled off this mortal coil in 2011, but his name is living on in patent filings. The patient and endearing CEO is listed as a co-inventor in a US patent application that describes a handheld gadget remotely controlling a large boat. The filing sets out a system in which a tablet or smartphone can …
Shaun Nichols, 18 Sep 2014
steve jobs

Google's Eric Schmidt's shock confession: Steve Jobs is.... MY HERO

Google supremo Eric Schmidt has claimed that Steve Jobs was his "hero" and said that we should all endeavour to "be a small percentage" of the Apple godhead. This might sound like he's encouraging time-travel cannibalism, but it's really just a call for everyone to do their bit to change the world. He doesn't mean properly …
Jasper Hamill, 03 Oct 2014
Tim Cook as Miss Havisham

Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched

Despite Apple cofounder Steve Jobs being dead nearly three years now, current Apple CEO Tim Cook has left Jobs' fourth-floor office at Apple untouched since his passing, a new interview has revealed. Cook made the revelation during a wide-ranging talk with broadcaster Charlie Rose that will air on the PBS TV network in the US …
Team Register, 13 Sep 2014

Steve Jobs makes world a better place FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple chief Tim Cook sent an email to staffers on Friday, in which he reminded them all of the greatness of Steve Jobs – who has been dead three years today. It comes after Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt took a swipe at the fruity führer on Thursday for supposedly getting it wrong about the ad and search giant's …
Team Register, 05 Oct 2014
putin topless

Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

An iPhone-shaped monument in Russia has been torn down by homophobes after learning Apple CEO Tim Cook is gay. Business leaders in the Putin-led nation took down the erection after claiming Cook had "called for sodomy." Citing "gay propaganda" law, Russia dismantles memorial to Steve Jobs after Tim Cook comes out http://t.co/ …
Iain Thomson, 03 Nov 2014

Dead Steve Jobs sued by own shareholders in no-poach pact brouhaha

Apple is once again facing a lawsuit, this time from its own shareholders over its no-poaching-of-staff pacts with rivals. A lawsuit [PDF] filed in California's San Jose District Court earlier this week claims the Cupertino giant misled investors and damaged the value of the company by striking a fishy hiring agreement with …
Shaun Nichols, 13 Aug 2014

Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley: Ousting Steve Jobs 'was a mistake'

Ex–Apple CEO John Sculley, who engineered Steve Jobs' removal from managing the company's Macintosh division in May 1985 – a move that eventually led Jobs to resign that September – now thinks it may not have been such a good idea. "I think, in hindsight, for the founder to leave was a mistake and I was a part of that," Sculley …
Rik Myslewski, 18 Apr 2014
Apple Lisa

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

Steve Jobs was well known for the size of his cojones, but it turns out that his former employer Atari had even better balls than him. In fact, it was these balls that inspired the first ever Apple mouse, the man who designed the first fruity iRodent has confessed. Jim Yurchenco, a retired engineer now in his dotage, was part …
Jasper Hamill, 19 Aug 2014
Throwboys' iCEO

Just like Elvis, dead Steve Jobs to appear all over America in 2015

A highly-sensitive leaked US government document reveals Steve Jobs will appear all over America in 2015. The memo comes from the perforation-happy Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee, an agency “tasked with evaluating the merits of all stamp proposals.” The document, uncovered by the Washington Post, reveals that Jobs will be …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Feb 2014
axe_channel_teaser

Oracle to axe over 450 jobs in Euro support centres – sources

Oracle is rumoured to be closing all its European support centres with less than 100 staff - a move that could affect hundreds of employees. The plans would effectively mean all software support centres outside the UK, Romania and the Netherlands will be affected, sources have told El Reg. The firm has up to 40 support centres …
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014

Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

Staffers at Apple have been working on their latest wearable wheeze for three long years, while the rest of us wondered where on Earth its legendary spirit of innovation had disappeared to. If you believe Tim Cook, Apple was on the job the whole time, beavering away in secrecy to create a timepiece which would once again become …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Sep 2014
Slide from Tim Cook's presentation at the Apple product roll-out event of October 22, 2013, indicating Apple's single-minded focus

Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Apple CEO Tim Cook has written to his employees to tell them that the past few quarters have been the most successful in the company's history. To the faithful, only the golden age of Steve Jobs can be described in such terms. But even though he's failed to release an exciting new product range since the first fruity fuhrer was …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2014
Apple Lisa

Treasure hunters dig up LOST RELIC of dead Steve Jobs

A team of researchers have unearthed a time capsule containing an early Apple mouse that once belonged to Steve Jobs. A television crew filming a program for the National Geographic Channel tracked and unearthed the capsule, which was originally buried outside of Aspen, Colorado in 1983. Among the contents pulled from the …
Shaun Nichols, 13 Feb 2014
Robbie Schoen's tribute to Steve Jobs (photo courtesy of Reg reader John P)

Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN

When Apple cofounder Steve Jobs passed away in 2011, makeshift shrines and memorial tributes popped up around the globe. Steve Jobs fountain sculpture outside the Felix Kulpa Gallery in Santa Cruz, California Bow down and worship the Baked Apple (click to enlarge) Most of these iShrines were temporary in nature and were …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Apr 2014
steve jobs

TONGUES OUT if you want to LICK Steve Jobs' BACKSIDE

We bet there are millions of fanbois who would sacrifice one of their favourite appendages for the chance to lick Steve Jobs' face. Now they have the opportunity to flick their tongues all over the fruity fuhrer following the announcement that he will feature on American postage stamps in 2015. The Washington Post managed to …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Feb 2014
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

Zuckerberg, Musk and Fake Steve Jobs invest in secretive AI firm

Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have become some of the latest investors in secretive artificial intelligence software firm Vicarious. The SpaceX billionaire and the Facebook founder took part in a $40m funding round, the second major cash-raising from the firm in the last two years, the Wall Street Journal reported. The actor who …
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

The house where Steve Jobs built his first computers has been added to a list of historic buildings in Los Altos. The Los Altos Historical Commission voted unanimously to add the home at 2066 Crist Drive as a historic resources, since its hallowed garage was where Jobs made his first computers and co-founded Apple, the San Jose …
Team Register, 31 Oct 2013

Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Apple godhead Steve Jobs was known for his love of superb but pricey design and flawless aesthetics. So why on Earth has the fruity firm decided to immortalise him with a monstrous statue that's been described as a "huge dildo" for fanbois? Twitter critics have erupted in rage and disbelief after the statue was unveiled on the …
Jasper Hamill, 27 Feb 2014
CSIRO's giant titanium bugs

CSIRO carves out another 75 jobs

The CSIRO has had to announce yet more staff cuts after one of its divisions failed to meet an external funding target. According to the CSIRO Staff Association, the digital productivity flagship is one of the agency's targets for the cuts, along with researchers in agriculture and advanced manufacturing. The latter is the home …

Crap turnover, sucky margins: TV is a 'terrible business' – Steve Jobs

Fanbois hoping to upgrade their Apple streaming set-top box to a fully fledged Apple TV set will have been disheartened by revelations in a new book claiming Steve Jobs did not support building an iTelly. According to former WSJ journo Yukari Iwatani Kane's book Haunted Empire: Apple After Steve Jobs, the fruity führer …
Jasper Hamill, 17 Mar 2014
Tim Cook

Tim Cook and Israeli PM commune with the GHOST of Steve Jobs

Tim Cook and Benjamin Netanyahu have met up in Cupertino during the Israeli PM's visit to Silicon Valley. The pair are thought to have discussed Apple's R&D in Israel, where it operates at least three facilities. Cupertino recently snapped up the Israeli firm PrimeSense, which helped to develop Microsoft's Kinect. The pair …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Mar 2014
Dunce

REALLY? Can 10 per cent of Aussie jobs be threatened by pirates?

Nearly one-in-ten Australian jobs are at risk from Google, if the co-chairman and co-CEO of Village Roadshow Australia is to be believed. That's the datum that appears in this opinion piece Graham Burke over at The Age, which continues the copyright industry's leave-no-data-unmolested attack on every threat, real or perceived …
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

DEAD STEVE JOBS chap becomes ENGINEER ... at Lenovo

Lenovo has joined the likes of BlackBerry, Intel and Polaroid in hiring a celebrity to have creative input on its new products, bagging Steve Jobs-affiliated Ashton Kutcher for the position of "product engineer". First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs Ashton Kutcher pretending to be Steve Jobs Whether Kutcher, who …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013
Pigeon crapping on statue

Fanbois sent into FITS of RAGE by fake Steve Jobs statue competition

Fanbois around the world were sent into an incandescent rage this week by news that a hideously ugly statue of Steve Jobs was set to stand outside Cupertino. But The Register has learned that Apple has no intention of erecting the mildly phallic structure near its headquarters. In fact, some of our friends within the fruity …
Jasper Hamill, 03 Mar 2014
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

Ancient video of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Mac found

Long-lost footage of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Macintosh in 1984 has been dug out of storage and shown in full for the first time in 30 years. The video shows the Apple godhead addressing the Boston Computer Club just days after his famous speech to shareholders at Cupertino. Time magazine journalist Harry McCracken …
Jasper Hamill, 27 Jan 2014

HP, Microsoft prove it again: Big Business doesn't create jobs

The recent news of layoffs from computing giants provides proof, once again, of an old economic saw. It is not actually big businesses that create jobs, it's the small and new ones. Our problem is that we've a political class (yes, all of it) that doesn't really quite get this. They would like there to be lots of jobs, of course …
Tim Worstall, 23 Jul 2014

Billionaire dumps Apple stock because Steve Jobs was 'really awful' guy

Julian Robertson, a Wall Street moneyman who has agglomerated billions from his hedge-fund investments, has sold all of his stock in Apple Inc., not because he necessarily believes shoveling his spondulicks towards Cupertino is a bad bet, but because he has come to the conclusion that Steve Jobs was a "really awful" person. "The …
Rik Myslewski, 08 Oct 2013

Don't let no-hire pact suit witnesses call Steve Jobs a bullyboy, plead Apple and Google

The tech firms at the heart of the "no-hire pact" class action suit has asked the court to exclude certain evidence by witnesses as to whether or not they thought Steve Jobs was "a bully". Google, Apple, Intel and Adobe are still fighting the suit filed by tech workers, which alleges that Silicon Valley firms agreed not to poach …

Steve Jobs' boyhood home may become protected historical shrine

The modest Silicon Valley ranch-style home where Steve Jobs spent his boyhood may soon be designated as an officially protected historical property. Not that the garage of 2066 Crist Drive, Los Altos, California isn't already a venerated shrine among the Apple faithful – it's where the Two Steves, Jobs and Wozniak, created the …
Rik Myslewski, 23 Sep 2013

PEAK Apple: Cupertino's hopes died with Steve Jobs, says Larry Ellison

Oracle supremo Larry Ellison has told Apple that it doesn't stand a chance of success without Steve Jobs at the helm. In an interview with CBS, the multibillionaire performed a bizarre dance routine meant to illustrate what chance Apple has in the post-Jobs era. Just like the oracles of old, Ellison's predictions take a bit of …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Aug 2013
Walter Isaacson, The Innovators book cover

Steve Jobs' bio man tackles geeks who 'created the digital revolution'

This is an enthralling but slightly flawed read written by Walter Isaacson – of Steve Jobs' authorised biography fame. Computers first entered human consciousness just over 170 years ago, when Charles Babbage was working on his mechanical difference engine and Ada Lovelace described programming. Since that seminal time, the …
Chris Mellor, 19 Oct 2014
The Tanami Desert en route to Willowara

TELEPOCALYPSE as Australian carriers shed jobs with horrible speed

While Australia's telco industry has become accustomed to the constant slim-down drive at incumbent Telstra and number-two Optus, an accumulation of bad news further down the food chain will narrow the options for the country's telco professionals. Optus' latest job cuts announcement, that rather than the 200 originally mooted …

Apple handed Samsung-busting nuke after Steve Jobs patent U-turn

Apple has won a crucial victory over its touchy rivals following a decision to confirm its ownership of intellectual property dubbed the "Steve Jobs patent". The patent relates to the fruity firm's multitouch user interface, which it uses on iPhones and iPads. It was one of the two patents allegedly infringed by Samsung that led …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2013
Throwboys' iCEO

Cook invokes GHOST of STEVE JOBS in Apple-wide memo

To some he was the finest of all human beings, while to others he was just responsible for flogging a few overpriced computers. But while the world mourned the second anniversary of Steve Jobs' death on Saturday, Apple employees were left in no doubt about his legacy. The gushing statement that Tim Cook released to Apple …
Jasper Hamill, 08 Oct 2013
Gordan Ugarkovic's view of Saturn

Cloud-tailored Swift, RING jobs... Give it a REST, Scality. Oh good

Object storage startup Scality has added OpenStack Swift and block storage access to its RING storage software through a REST interface. Swift, for the uninitiated, is OpenStack's object storage interface. "Scality is serious about OpenStack. We have realised that it's more than open-source software, it is an interoperable …
Chris Mellor, 04 Nov 2014

NetApp to 'realign', cut 600 jobs worldwide

NetApp has announced it will cut 600 jobs around the world, as part of a plan to adopt “... a business realignment plan designed to focus its resources on key strategic initiatives and streamline its business in light of the constrained IT spending environment.” The company announced the plan today in a form 8-K filed with the …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Mar 2014

Axe falls: Virgin Media plans to kill 600 management jobs

Virgin Media is shedding up to 600 management jobs in the wake of Liberty Global's takeover of the British telco. The Register understands that the cost-cutting restructure is intended to help the company focus on growth. A source close to the situation told us that, in the coming months, most of the other UK-based positions – …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Sep 2013
The Register breaking news

The Register channels jobs into jobs channel

Recently we slipped out a new editorial channel to cover work issues. It's called "Jobs" and you can find a link on the main nav bar which appears at the top of every page of The Register. This is a small launch designed for now to pop all articles we write about jobs, training and IT education into the one place. Also in …
Drew Cullen, 27 Mar 2012
Monster Beats Pro

Dr Dre's crew gets Beats-down from Apple: 200 jobs to go – report

Apple is planning to axe around 200 people from its new acquisition Beats Electronics, according to reports. Both Bloomberg and 9to5 Mac had folks whispering in their ears that the fruity firm would be making the job cuts now that its $3bn slurp of the headphones and music streaming biz was well underway. The deal was recently …

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak disses Ashton Kutcher's Steve Jobs

Steve Wozniak isn't too impressed with the Steve Jobs biopic film Jobs - and said a lot of its problems came from Ashton Kutcher's portrayal of the Apple founder. The Woz jumped on the comments section of a Gizmodo review of the movie for his own impromptu critique, which wasn't all that complimentary. "I saw Jobs tonight. I …
Steve Jobs

Top architect: The TRUTH about dead Steve Jobs' new spaceship Apple HQ

Apple's new spaceship-like fruit-loop-shaped headquarters in Cupertino wasn't originally planned to be circular, architect Norman Foster has revealed. His confession came in a video made by Apple to persuade the city to let it build its enormous Campus II. Now this video has hit the web: to watch Norman Foster, skip to the 3 min …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Oct 2013
cloud

CloudBees bags $11.2m to keep a closer eye on your handy jobs

Continuous integration expert CloudBees has slurped $11.2m in valley cash to fund its Jenkins-based cloud services. The series-C round was led by Verizon Ventures, along with Matrix Partners and Lightspeed Venture Partners, and was announced on Wednesday. CloudBees is a small cloud company that stewards the development of a big …
Jack Clark, 06 Mar 2014