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Articles about Jobs

Throwboys' iCEO

Just like Elvis, dead Steve Jobs to appear all over America in 2015

A highly-sensitive leaked US government document reveals Steve Jobs will appear all over America in 2015. The memo comes from the perforation-happy Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee, an agency “tasked with evaluating the merits of all stamp proposals.” The document, uncovered by the Washington Post, reveals that Jobs will be …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Feb 2014
Robbie Schoen's tribute to Steve Jobs (photo courtesy of Reg reader John P)

Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN

When Apple cofounder Steve Jobs passed away in 2011, makeshift shrines and memorial tributes popped up around the globe. Steve Jobs fountain sculpture outside the Felix Kulpa Gallery in Santa Cruz, California Bow down and worship the Baked Apple (click to enlarge) Most of these iShrines were temporary in nature and were …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Apr 2014
Apple Lisa

Treasure hunters dig up LOST RELIC of dead Steve Jobs

A team of researchers have unearthed a time capsule containing an early Apple mouse that once belonged to Steve Jobs. A television crew filming a program for the National Geographic Channel tracked and unearthed the capsule, which was originally buried outside of Aspen, Colorado in 1983. Among the contents pulled from the …
Shaun Nichols, 13 Feb 2014
steve jobs

TONGUES OUT if you want to LICK Steve Jobs' BACKSIDE

We bet there are millions of fanbois who would sacrifice one of their favourite appendages for the chance to lick Steve Jobs' face. Now they have the opportunity to flick their tongues all over the fruity fuhrer following the announcement that he will feature on American postage stamps in 2015. The Washington Post managed to …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Feb 2014
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

Zuckerberg, Musk and Fake Steve Jobs invest in secretive AI firm

Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have become some of the latest investors in secretive artificial intelligence software firm Vicarious. The SpaceX billionaire and the Facebook founder took part in a $40m funding round, the second major cash-raising from the firm in the last two years, the Wall Street Journal reported. The actor who …

Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Apple godhead Steve Jobs was known for his love of superb but pricey design and flawless aesthetics. So why on Earth has the fruity firm decided to immortalise him with a monstrous statue that's been described as a "huge dildo" for fanbois? Twitter critics have erupted in rage and disbelief after the statue was unveiled on the …
Jasper Hamill, 27 Feb 2014
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

The house where Steve Jobs built his first computers has been added to a list of historic buildings in Los Altos. The Los Altos Historical Commission voted unanimously to add the home at 2066 Crist Drive as a historic resources, since its hallowed garage was where Jobs made his first computers and co-founded Apple, the San Jose …
Team Register, 31 Oct 2013

Crap turnover, sucky margins: TV is a 'terrible business' – Steve Jobs

Fanbois hoping to upgrade their Apple streaming set-top box to a fully fledged Apple TV set will have been disheartened by revelations in a new book claiming Steve Jobs did not support building an iTelly. According to former WSJ journo Yukari Iwatani Kane's book Haunted Empire: Apple After Steve Jobs, the fruity führer …
Jasper Hamill, 17 Mar 2014
Tim Cook

Tim Cook and Israeli PM commune with the GHOST of Steve Jobs

Tim Cook and Benjamin Netanyahu have met up in Cupertino during the Israeli PM's visit to Silicon Valley. The pair are thought to have discussed Apple's R&D in Israel, where it operates at least three facilities. Cupertino recently snapped up the Israeli firm PrimeSense, which helped to develop Microsoft's Kinect. The pair …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Mar 2014
Pigeon crapping on statue

Fanbois sent into FITS of RAGE by fake Steve Jobs statue competition

Fanbois around the world were sent into an incandescent rage this week by news that a hideously ugly statue of Steve Jobs was set to stand outside Cupertino. But The Register has learned that Apple has no intention of erecting the mildly phallic structure near its headquarters. In fact, some of our friends within the fruity …
Jasper Hamill, 03 Mar 2014
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak

Ancient video of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Mac found

Long-lost footage of Steve Jobs launching the first Apple Macintosh in 1984 has been dug out of storage and shown in full for the first time in 30 years. The video shows the Apple godhead addressing the Boston Computer Club just days after his famous speech to shareholders at Cupertino. Time magazine journalist Harry McCracken …
Jasper Hamill, 27 Jan 2014
First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs

DEAD STEVE JOBS chap becomes ENGINEER ... at Lenovo

Lenovo has joined the likes of BlackBerry, Intel and Polaroid in hiring a celebrity to have creative input on its new products, bagging Steve Jobs-affiliated Ashton Kutcher for the position of "product engineer". First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs Ashton Kutcher pretending to be Steve Jobs Whether Kutcher, who …
Team Register, 30 Oct 2013

Don't let no-hire pact suit witnesses call Steve Jobs a bullyboy, plead Apple and Google

The tech firms at the heart of the "no-hire pact" class action suit has asked the court to exclude certain evidence by witnesses as to whether or not they thought Steve Jobs was "a bully". Google, Apple, Intel and Adobe are still fighting the suit filed by tech workers, which alleges that Silicon Valley firms agreed not to poach …

Billionaire dumps Apple stock because Steve Jobs was 'really awful' guy

Julian Robertson, a Wall Street moneyman who has agglomerated billions from his hedge-fund investments, has sold all of his stock in Apple Inc., not because he necessarily believes shoveling his spondulicks towards Cupertino is a bad bet, but because he has come to the conclusion that Steve Jobs was a "really awful" person. "The …
Rik Myslewski, 08 Oct 2013

Steve Jobs' boyhood home may become protected historical shrine

The modest Silicon Valley ranch-style home where Steve Jobs spent his boyhood may soon be designated as an officially protected historical property. Not that the garage of 2066 Crist Drive, Los Altos, California isn't already a venerated shrine among the Apple faithful – it's where the Two Steves, Jobs and Wozniak, created the …
Rik Myslewski, 23 Sep 2013

PEAK Apple: Cupertino's hopes died with Steve Jobs, says Larry Ellison

Oracle supremo Larry Ellison has told Apple that it doesn't stand a chance of success without Steve Jobs at the helm. In an interview with CBS, the multibillionaire performed a bizarre dance routine meant to illustrate what chance Apple has in the post-Jobs era. Just like the oracles of old, Ellison's predictions take a bit of …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Aug 2013

NetApp to 'realign', cut 600 jobs worldwide

NetApp has announced it will cut 600 jobs around the world, as part of a plan to adopt “... a business realignment plan designed to focus its resources on key strategic initiatives and streamline its business in light of the constrained IT spending environment.” The company announced the plan today in a form 8-K filed with the …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Mar 2014

Apple handed Samsung-busting nuke after Steve Jobs patent U-turn

Apple has won a crucial victory over its touchy rivals following a decision to confirm its ownership of intellectual property dubbed the "Steve Jobs patent". The patent relates to the fruity firm's multitouch user interface, which it uses on iPhones and iPads. It was one of the two patents allegedly infringed by Samsung that led …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2013
Throwboys' iCEO

Cook invokes GHOST of STEVE JOBS in Apple-wide memo

To some he was the finest of all human beings, while to others he was just responsible for flogging a few overpriced computers. But while the world mourned the second anniversary of Steve Jobs' death on Saturday, Apple employees were left in no doubt about his legacy. The gushing statement that Tim Cook released to Apple …
Jasper Hamill, 08 Oct 2013

Axe falls: Virgin Media plans to kill 600 management jobs

Virgin Media is shedding up to 600 management jobs in the wake of Liberty Global's takeover of the British telco. The Register understands that the cost-cutting restructure is intended to help the company focus on growth. A source close to the situation told us that, in the coming months, most of the other UK-based positions – …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Sep 2013
cloud

CloudBees bags $11.2m to keep a closer eye on your handy jobs

Continuous integration expert CloudBees has slurped $11.2m in valley cash to fund its Jenkins-based cloud services. The series-C round was led by Verizon Ventures, along with Matrix Partners and Lightspeed Venture Partners, and was announced on Wednesday. CloudBees is a small cloud company that stewards the development of a big …
Jack Clark, 06 Mar 2014

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak disses Ashton Kutcher's Steve Jobs

Steve Wozniak isn't too impressed with the Steve Jobs biopic film Jobs - and said a lot of its problems came from Ashton Kutcher's portrayal of the Apple founder. The Woz jumped on the comments section of a Gizmodo review of the movie for his own impromptu critique, which wasn't all that complimentary. "I saw Jobs tonight. I …

Bill Gates to pull a Steve Jobs and SAVE MICROSOFT – report

Microsoft founder Bill Gates may be planning a return to a more hands-on role at the company, according to the latest rumors from the software giant's ongoing search for a new chief executive. Last week, Bloomberg, The Wall Street Journal, and others reported that veteran Microsoft exec Satya Nadella had emerged as the …
Neil McAllister, 03 Feb 2014
Steve Jobs

Top architect: The TRUTH about dead Steve Jobs' new spaceship Apple HQ

Apple's new spaceship-like fruit-loop-shaped headquarters in Cupertino wasn't originally planned to be circular, architect Norman Foster has revealed. His confession came in a video made by Apple to persuade the city to let it build its enormous Campus II. Now this video has hit the web: to watch Norman Foster, skip to the 3 min …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Oct 2013
Steve Jobs, intrepid stiff-upper-lipped British aviator

Apple's Steve Jobs was a SEX-crazed World War II fighter pilot, says ex

Steve Jobs was a sex-mad bully who believed he was a World War II fighter pilot in a previous life, an ex-girlfriend has claimed. Chrisann Brennan met the soon-to-be Apple co-founder in 1972 and went out with him for five years. She had a ringside seat at the very beginning of Apple's ascent to global domination – and a bedside …
Jasper Hamill, 15 Oct 2013
shutterstock_interview_sidey

Opportunity knocks? Four jobs for your perusal

Monday and time for our regular outing with reed.co.uk, The Register's UK recruitment partner. Four jobs are presented for your perusal. The Hood Group, a household insurance company headquartered in Southend, is hunting for a group IT director. Responsibilities include the successful delivery of software development, ensuring …
David Gordon, 24 Jun 2013
The Register breaking news

The Register channels jobs into jobs channel

Recently we slipped out a new editorial channel to cover work issues. It's called "Jobs" and you can find a link on the main nav bar which appears at the top of every page of The Register. This is a small launch designed for now to pop all articles we write about jobs, training and IT education into the one place. Also in …
Drew Cullen, 27 Mar 2012
Job cuts jpeg

HP's hiring: UK jobs for, er, UK workers.... maybe

HP has refused to rule out making roles redundant in the UK and shifting them to parts of Europe where average salaries are lower. Cost cutting HP last week entered into consultation with the works council and yesterday engaged with union types over plans to slash 7,100 roles across the region, the last tranche of 34k job cuts …
Paul Kunert, 10 Feb 2014
euros_channel_money

Alcatel-Lucent slashes 10,000 jobs worldwide

Alcatel Lucent has confirmed it will axe 10,000 employees worldwide as part of a bid to cut €1bn (£850m) in fixed costs by the end of 2015. The loss-making telecoms equipment maker will actually be letting 15,000 staff members go, but has said it will create 5,000 new jobs in areas where it thinks it can grow. The cuts will see …
Steve Jobs, Ashton Kutcher, credit: David Shankbone, Apple

Dead STEVE JOBS 'touts rival Lenovo gear' FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

A man seemingly familiar to millions as Apple's tetchy tech tycoon Steve Jobs will star in adverts for cheap Chinese computers from Lenovo, according to reports. Actor Ashton Kutcher - who will play the late biz baron in forthcoming biopic Jobs - will be the new poster boy for the planet's largest shifter of PC boxes, we're told …
Paul Kunert, 24 Jul 2013
The Register breaking news

First pic of Ashton Kutcher as the great Steve 'jOBS'

The first official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs in the Apply-titled jOBS has been unveiled by Sundance. First official pic of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs The Aaron Sorkin-scripted biopic will be premiering at the Sundance Festival next year, when legions of fanbois will be prepared to vilify any and all attempts to …

Steve Jobs AIRBRUSHED from history by APPLE months before his death

Apple has been awarded a patent for the huge glass door and hallway that welcomes fanbois into its Shanghai shop. The fruity tech giant is known for the extravagant exteriors of its iThing emporiums. But this particular portal looks more like the engine room of a spaceship than a phone store entrance: it's made of curved glass …
Jasper Hamill, 02 Oct 2013
The Register breaking news

Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck

Steve Jobs' luxury yacht has been impounded in Amsterdam port after French designer Philippe Starck's bill wasn't paid. Bailiffs boarded the shiny new boat, named Venus, last Wednesday and have chained it to the dock, the Dutch newspaper Financieele Dagblad reported. Venus has been seized over Starck's claim that Jobs' estate …

First Dell, now IBM: 15,000 jobs face the axe at Big Blue, says union

IBM is set to spend another $1bn on job cuts this year to eliminate an estimated 15,000 jobs worldwide, according to trade union Alliance@IBM. The company has already spent the same amount of money last year on 'workforce rebalancing', its euphemism for redundancies. Big Blue's chief financial officer for finance and enterprise …
Steve Jobs unleashes the iPhone at Macworld last year

DEAD STEVE JOBS kills Apple bounce patent from BEYOND THE GRAVE

The late Apple baron Steve Jobs has critically wounded one of his company's key "bounce to update" related patents in Europe. A German court has nixed a photo-gallery app design, filed by Apple in June 2007, after a video of Jobs demonstrating the software with the rubber-band bounce effect five months earlier was deemed prior …
Bill Ray, 30 Sep 2013

New blinged-up 'iPhone 5S' touted by Jobs FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

The next-generation iPhone, one of the last devices conceived by Apple godhead Steve Jobs before his death, will hit the shelves on 10 September, according to fresh rumours. The new spin of the iOS smartphone, expected to be called the 5S, could sport a gaudy "champagne gold" coloured case, as well as the usual white or black, …
Jasper Hamill, 12 Aug 2013
Picture by Afonso Lima

Steve Jobs' death clears way for '13-inch' JUMBO iPAD HYPEGASM

Apple is testing larger screens for next-gen iPhones and iPads, according to whispers from hardware suppliers in Asia. The fruity firm has ordered some slightly larger iPhone displays, measuring more than four inches, and some supersize iPad screens at least 13 inches diagonally, the Wall Street Journal reports. The current …
The Register breaking news

Steve Jobs' Apple yacht freed after family settles the bill

Venus, the yacht that Steve Jobs planned but never got to sail in, has been freed by bailiffs after the settlement of an outstanding bill from co-designer Philippe Starck. Steve Jobs yacht Venus The good ship Venus at launch The iconic French designer worked with his friend Jobs on the design of the 70m motor yacht, which is …
Iain Thomson, 26 Dec 2012
The Register breaking news

Dead Steve Jobs tried to KILL Ashton Kutcher from beyond the grave

Hollywood heartthrob Ashton Kutcher was "terrified" and spent time in hospital after trying too hard to achieve authenticity in his depiction of the late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in a new film. The actor - who stars as Jobs in the new movie jOBS - used method acting to get inside the head of the great entrepreneur who built …
Anna Leach, 28 Jan 2013

NASA's 2015 budget plea: Jobs, pork, small business – OK, science

NASA would receive $17.46bn as its share of the Obama administration proposed budget for fiscal 2015, released on Tuesday, down from the $17.65bn it's receiving this year, but healthily up from the $16.87bn it managed to scratch out in sequester-squeezed 2013. That is, if NASA can convince members of Congress that it would be in …
Rik Myslewski, 05 Mar 2014
Apple's new Cupertino campus - rendering

Dead Steve Jobs' Apple donut SPACESHIP HQ gets permission to land

Apple's new spaceship-shaped headquarters has been given the go-ahead by Cupertino City Council. The fruity firm was granted permission to build the mammoth 2.8 million square foot Apple Campus 2 at a council meeting on Tuesday night. Apart from some gripes about traffic, locals raised few major concerns about the gigantic eco- …
Jasper Hamill, 16 Oct 2013

Combover King Donald Trump: 'I miss Steve Jobs'

Never being a man to shy away from whatever current controversy might get his name into headlines*, the indefatigable Republican presidential candidate, Obama-baiting birther, and TV "personality" Donald Trump has weighed in on whether Apple should offer an iPhone with a larger display. I have a lot of @apple stock--- and I …
Rik Myslewski, 29 Apr 2013

Foxconn boss: We're CROSSING Mexican border ... to bring TV-making jobs into US

The head of Foxconn has reportedly said that he is confident that the group, which includes the Hon Hai unit busily making iPhones, will see its revenue grow by 15 per cent this year. Terry Gou also said that the group was expecting to invest 10 times as much in the US in 2014, Reuters reported local media including the …
The Register breaking news

Good news! UK IT jobs up. Bad news? They're with a bunch of bankers

Cockle-warming stats from the UK jobs market show that job openings for techies went up at the end of 2012 and that opportunities in the well-paying financial IT sector rose for the first time in six months. Permanent IT jobs advertised in the UK went up 6 per cent in the last three months of 2012 compared to the year before, …
Anna Leach, 08 Feb 2013
interview_suit_and_tie

US workforce expands as more job seekers seek jobs

The US is still buzzed with its July 4th hangover, but the Bureau of Labor Statistics is open for business, delivering some good news: over the past three months, despite government job cuts, private-sector employers added enough jobs to keep pace with population growth. According to the June jobs report, the US economy added …

Steve Jobs to supervise iPhone 6 FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple designed the next two versions of the iPhone while Steve Jobs was alive, it has been claimed. San Francisco District Attorney George Gascón was told by an Apple representative that the next two iPhone models "preceded Tim Cook", according to a report in The Examiner. He met with Apple’s government liaison Michael Foulkes …
Jasper Hamill, 02 Apr 2013
The Register breaking news

Facebook gets into jobs market with recruitment board

Facebook has developed an application aimed at matching its users with available jobs as part of an initiative with the US government dubbed the Social Jobs Partnership (SJP). "Nearly a year ago, the US Department of Labor joined the Social Jobs Partnership to explore better ways to connect people with job information through …
Iain Thomson, 14 Nov 2012
VSAN Tweet GA week of

Wanted: Virtual Steve Jobs to tell us one more thing about VSAN

It's a shame that VMware's VSAN launch didn't use Steve Jobs' trick of revealing “one more thing”, because there's one important detail missing from yesterday's event. That big thing is the price of the VSAN Ready Nodes and VSAN Ready Blocks it's been talking up for a while. VSAN Nodes are servers equipped with the 10Gbps NIC, …
Simon Sharwood, 07 Mar 2014

STEVE JOBS hits back at ebook ruckus FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

The "smoking gun" Steve Jobs email that US prosecutors hope will nail Apple at its ebook price-fixing trial was NOT sent by the doomed biz baron, lawyers claim. The fruity firm has been defending itself against allegations that it conspired to artificially hike the prices of digital tomes sold through its iTunes store. The US …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Jun 2013
The Register breaking news

Pixar names HQ after Steve Jobs

Pixar, the computer animation company founded by George Lucas and sold to Steve Jobs - who later sold his company to Disney, as George has just done with his - has renamed its main office block after its rescuer. To be fair to Pixar, it’s an appropriate tribute. Jobs’ money kept the company in business, allowing it to continue …
Tony Smith, 07 Nov 2012