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Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3.0 tablet sees its UK release on 28 August. But why is the Surface fondleslab called Surface? Microsoft hijacked the name from one of its own existing products, the niche tabletop display now called PixelSense, but a remark by vice president Panos Panay at the October 2012 launch of the first Surface …
Tim Anderson, 21 Aug 2014
Register Roundtable at the Soho hotel

CIOs: Want to hit your IT suppliers where it hurts?

Some IT organisations seem to have their vendors just where they want them. The rest of us? Well, we’re not keen, and we’re starting to get mean. That’s why, following the success of our July Roundtable on IT governance, we’re asking our senior Reg readers to come to our next roundtable to pick apart another of the big IT …
Joe Fay, 19 Aug 2014
Bubble

Welcome to the HYPER-converged bubble of HYPE! Enjoy it while it's here, storage folk

The hype around hyper-converged systems is huge. Are we experiencing a hyper-converged systems bubble? Companies in the field are growing like crazy, especially Nutanix and Simplivity. Nutanix scooped a billion-dollar-plus valuation earlier this year after a $140m funding round. Meanwhile: Startups like Maxta, NIMBOXX, and …
Chris Mellor, 28 Aug 2014
SOURCE:  http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=view&id=1412135

Leaky channel tanker Phoenix IT Group: It's steady as she goes

Investors received no nasty surprises in a trading update from leaky channel tanker Phoenix IT Group as the turnaround plan plotted by the latest exec at the helm remains on course. The infrastructure and managed services outfit said in an interim management statement covering 1 April until 11 August that trade is “broadly in …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2014
Bitcoins

Your Bitcoins aren't money – but it is barter, so we'll tax it, ta ... says Australia's taxman

The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) has issued its official assessment of Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies – and decided it isn't money but can be taxed. The ATO's note says BTC is “neither money nor a foreign currency” and that “transacting with Bitcoins is akin to a barter arrangement”. Australia taxes formal barter …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Aug 2014
Spam

Ancient pager tech SMS: It works, it's fab, but wow, get a load of that incoming SPAM

The infrastructure for text messaging is creaking. Not only does it need to be fixed, but it seems mobile operators don’t understand enough about their own systems to do it themselves. This is according to Louise O'Sullivan, CEO of mobile solutions firm Anam Technologies. She maintains that the problem that needs fixing lies in …
Simon Rockman, 11 Aug 2014
SAP Match Insights

SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

When England played in Ecuador and Honduras for “warm weather training” in June ahead of the World Cup, they’d already lost the tournament – they just didn’t know it. SAP Match Insights Do the bendy data, SAP Wayne Rooney and Co took to the field in Florida to adjust to the hot and humid climate they’d face in Brazil and to …
Gavin Clarke, 22 Jul 2014

Grabby baddie scours Paddy Power's towers: 650k punters leaked and it took 4 years to admit it

Irish bookmakers Paddy Power has admitted miscreants copied from its systems more than 649,000 customer records containing personal information. The snaffled dataset contained names, usernames, addresses, email addresses, phone contact numbers, date of birth, and security question and answer pairs. The leaked data comes from …
John Leyden, 31 Jul 2014
BMW i8 Plug-In Hybrid Supercar

BMW i8 plug-in hybrid: It's a supercar, Jim, but not as we know it

I almost felt sorry for the BMW press team last November at the i3 press launch. The questions hacks kept returning to were: “When is the i8 going on sale?” and “When can we drive it?”. Fair play to the BMW staffers, who didn't stop telling us how groundbreaking and generally fantastic the i3 was. As indeed it is. BMW i8 Plug- …
Alun Taylor, 15 Jul 2014
Beats headphones

IT blokes: would you say that LEWD comment to a man? Then don't say it to a woman

It’s not news that, being a male dominated industry, women face a lot of challenges working in IT. We have to overcome sexism, stereotypes and sometimes outright harassment. I am no stranger to tech shows, particularly the mega events that draw thousands of men from all over the world, and know first-hand what it can be like to …
Scality Use Cases

Los Alamos National Laboratory likes it, puts Scality's RING on it

Scality has upgrade its RING object storage software to v4.3. RING software distributes object storage across multiple server nodes and uses erasure coding to ensure its integrity. Scality claims v4.3 "improves overall performance across a broad range of applications and workloads and enhances enterprise file operations by as …
Chris Mellor, 01 Jul 2014
USB

No more turning over a USB thing, then turning it over again to plug it in: Reversible socket ready for lift off

Computer users have moved one step closer to saving a few seconds twiddling with their USB cables now that the port's reversible Type C connector specification has been cleared for volume production. The Type C connector, first unveiled in April, is fully reversible and considerably slimmer than the USB plug we've been used to …
Iain Thomson, 12 Aug 2014
Ghost In the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society

Why is VMware hiring data center gurus in JAPAN? It doesn't take a vExpert to work it out...

Public clouds need to be global, so VMware is shortly going to open an Asian hub for its vCloud Hybrid Service, judging by job postings seen by The Register. The virtualization company is preparing to announce a new data center location for its vCHS cloud, we understand, and it looks set to put down roots in Kyushu, Japan, based …
Jack Clark, 08 Jul 2014
Cisco's UCS customer count over time

Cisco doesn't make hyper-converged gear, but if it did, it'd probably look like this

Cisco is big in converged systems but nowhere in hyper-converged ones. What we mean by that is that Cisco is big in converged systems, such as VCE's Vblocks and the Cisco-NetApp FlexPods, but it doesn't have systems in the Nutanix and Simplivity class, which are more integrated than the Vblock and Flexpod systems. Now that Dell …
Chris Mellor, 02 Jul 2014

Would it be BAD if the Amazon rainforest was all FARMS? Well it WAS, once

It's generally assumed that it would mean a disaster for the planet if the rainforests of the Amazon were to be replaced with farmland. But it turns out that, actually, much of the area was indeed farmland just a few thousand years ago. We learn this from new research just published in the august Proceedings of the National …
Lewis Page, 08 Jul 2014
Twitter girl

Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

Many thanks to the gentle readers who wished me well over the last couple of weeks as I lay in bed watching the ceiling spin. For those of you who enjoy listening to people whose name you are familiar with but whom you don’t really know talk at length about their petty illnesses as if they were life-threatening events of …
Alistair Dabbs, 13 Jun 2014

VMware's super-secret MARVIN: It's software-defined war on future IT

The virtualisation community is all atwitter with speculation about VMware's MARVIN. MARVIN, for those who don't know, is supposedly VMware's hardware'n'software answer to hyper-converged competitors like Nutanix. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone has a theory – but VMware itself is carefully keeping schtum. I have some …
Trevor Pott, 03 Jul 2014

You're inventing the wrong sort of tech for bad people who want to buy it. Stop it at once

The comical success of the messaging app Yo is apparently proof perfect that Silicon Valley is doing everything wrong. It is supposedly proof, if any were needed, that the hypercapitalism of the tech scene means that people just hunt for the next quick flip rather than attempting to grapple with the real problems that besiege …
Tim Worstall, 25 Jun 2014
Robonaut 2 with stuff. Credit: NASA

Automating repetitive tasks: If it moves, script it

DBAs can often fall into the trap of carrying out repetitive tasks and processes. The good news is that you can automate a lot of these tasks to save time, money, and above all, sanity. The bad news is that few database administrators (DBAs) are doing it. In its 2013 database manageability survey, the Independent Oracle User …
Robin Birtstone, 30 May 2014

If Google remembers whom it has forgotten, has it complied with the ECJ judgment?

Google has received all kinds of plaudits for quickly introducing its “right to be forgotten” procedure. However, from what I have read in the press, its procedure for the removal of URLs is not fit for purpose. Google’s procedure appears to be defective. For the sake of argument, let’s assume that you want to have a URL removed …

Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

Driverless cars will solve congestion. Driverless cars will improve road efficiency; driving along closely behind each other in platoons. Driverless cars will stop you waiting at the kerb for a taxi. Yeah, yeah; it’s all drivel. The tech is wonderful, gee-whiz-that’s-great stuff, but there’s a few things that are unbelievably …
Chris Mellor, 29 May 2014
Broken CD with wrench

Early! Do! Not! Track! Adopter! Yahoo! Says! It's! Rubbish, Bins! It!

Yahoo! has done an about-face on its stance toward the controversial Do Not Track browser privacy standard, announcing that it will no longer recognize users' DNT settings across any of its online properties. "As the first major tech company to implement Do Not Track, we’ve been at the heart of conversations surrounding how to …
Neil McAllister, 02 May 2014
Windows XP boot screen

Win XP war, huh! What is it good for? Enormo IT reseller Insight

A currency tailwind in EMEA, PC munching customers fleeing from Windows XP support doom on both sides of the Atlantic, and far leaner restructuring charges lifted Insight Enterprises' Q1 2014 financials. The Fortune 500 tech reseller reported a year-on-year three per cent hike in sales to $1.2bn in the period from January to …
Paul Kunert, 02 May 2014
A hash

EBAY... You keep using that word 'ENCRYPTION' – it does not mean what you think it means

Confusion reigns over whether or not the 145 million "encrypted" user account passwords swiped from eBay can be practically cracked by crooks. A day has passed since the online tat bazaar admitted its customer database was hacked back in February, and the method of encryption is still not known. We do know what wasn't encrypted …
John Leyden, 22 May 2014

Acer fairly sure it made a profit in Q1. Assuming it got the office tea-bag account right

Ailing Acer has told us "transformation plans" are on track despite generating a profit after tax of just NT$1m - or £19,600 - in the first calendar quarter of 2014. This titchy cash haul would cover a small bunch of non-golden parachutes for execs that want to bale: or equates to a £2.80 handout for each employee in the company …
Paul Kunert, 08 May 2014
HDS VSP Front Panel

New HDS array: It's a G1000 Jim, but not as we know it*

HDS has updated its 2010 vintage high-end VSP array with the VSP G1000 and a new operating system, together providing the "highest performance and most available unified storage system in the industry," and claiming it's "the most reliable hardware on the planet." There are three mainstream high-end enterprise arrays; EMC's VMAX …
Chris Mellor, 23 Apr 2014
Hacker mug 06.12.02

It woz the Reg wot won it: UK mobe network EE fixes voicemail hack flaw

Since we alerted EE to the security flaw in its voicemail system that allowed us to access the messages of anti-terrorism bods, the mobile telco has been working to close the hole. As we explained in our original article, the vulnerability was only exploitable through certain routes, and we disclosed the problem to EE ahead of …
Simon Rockman, 25 Apr 2014

Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it

The Loch Ness monster presents one of the greatest mysteries of recent times. After all, who in their right mind would believe a great green beastie was lurking down at the bottom of a midge-ridden Scottish lake? Now the answer has been revealed, after it emerged Apple fanbois can use their fondleslabs or iPhones to peer at this …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Apr 2014

It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer

Websites and tools that have sprung up to check whether servers are vulnerable to OpenSSL's mega-vulnerability Heartbleed have thrown up anomalies in computer crime law on both sides of the Atlantic. Both the US Computer Fraud and Abuse Act and its UK equivalent the Computer Misuse Act make it an offence to test the security of …
John Leyden, 11 Apr 2014
chain_relationship_channel

HP exec: 'CYOD' will TEAR APART the IT dept as we know it

Corporations are close to handing staff credit notes to buy or choose their own technology in a trend that will bust classic IT departments and supply chains, HP's top boss for Europe reckons. BYOD has morphed into Choose Your Own Device (CYOD) but the impact will still be just as dramatic, said Herbert Kock, HP's joint head of …
Paul Kunert, 07 Apr 2014

IT bods: How long does it take YOU to train up on new tech?

I’m a big fan of data networking blogger Greg Ferro, who writes under the moniker Etherealmind. Greg and I are really on the same page with regards to work/life balance but his latest thoughts on that topic struck a chord with me. Drawn from his latest blog post, the key part says: Why am I focused on work life ? After 25 or so …
Chris Mellor, 09 Apr 2014

EBay, you keep using the word 'SECURITY'. I do not think it means what you think it means

eBay‬ has told people to change their passwords for the online tat bazaar after its customer database was compromised. Names, dates of birth, phone numbers, physical addresses, email addresses, and "encrypted" passwords, were copied from servers by attackers, we're told. Credit card numbers and other financial records were not …
John Leyden, 21 May 2014

It's spade sellers who REALLY make a killing in a gold rush: It's OVER for graphics card mining

If you’ve been mining "low-price Bitcoin wannabe" Litecoins with a rig of graphics cards, now is the time to shuffle them off to eBay – unless you can find a better use for them. Chinese chip manufacturer Innosilicon is now selling its “A2 Terminator”, a 28nm ASIC for mining Litecoins. It follows on the heels of its A1 offering …
Simon Rockman, 29 Apr 2014
Sad Anonymous

GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

A number of protesters haranguing UK spies stationed at the country's Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) have taken to apparently drinking human urine to publicise their disgust with the eavesdropping nerve centre's surveillance tactics. A video has been posted online that appears to show activists from the We Are …
Team Register, 31 Aug 2014

Will It Blend? Maybe. BlackBerry’s secret comeback weapon

Former smartphone giant BlackBerry has another trick up its sleeve for its comeback, alongside the oddest looking phone in recent years. The Passport is expected to be unveiled next month, along with an intriguing bit of software, the as-yet-unannounced BlackBerry Blend. Part of the forthcoming 10.3 BB10 release, Blend “casts” …
Andrew Orlowski, 26 Aug 2014
Source: Simply Smile Photography by Georgia Stephenson

No, it's not a boy band, it's a biz backup suite: A dig into Druva inSync

Druva seems to be on a quest right now to get its name seen by as many people as possible; lately I have been bombarded by more inSync banner ads than I can shake a stick at. So it came as no surprise when the Reg asked me to have a look at what the backup and management biz does – and whether it is any good at it. The inSync …
Dave Cartwright, 30 Apr 2014

PhabletPhace: All the cool kids are doing it in Asia

Large smartphones, aka “phablets” have have captured a big (fondle)slab of the mobile phone market in Asia. That pronouncement comes from analyst outfit IDC's new Worldwide Quarterly Tablet Tracker, which identifies folks willing to use a phablet – a tablet with built-in phone and at least a seven-inch screen – as a new …

Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

The US military has been forced to destroy a top secret hypersonic weapon just four seconds after its test flight begun. The Advanced Hypersonic Weapon (AHW) is designed to reach Mach 6 – or six times the speed of sound (about 5,795kmph or 3,600mph) – and allow the US to strike a target anywhere in the world in less than 60 …
Jasper Hamill, 26 Aug 2014
Confused computer keyboard

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

"Ahhh... Just found some... uh... anomalies with the asset inventory checklist," our friendly neighbourhood Beancounter says to the PFY. "What anomalies?" I ask. "You didn't fill it out," the Boss says. "I bloody did!" I gasp. "You wrote at the bottom 'all present and correct' and signed your name," the Beancounter responds …
Simon Travaglia, 29 Aug 2014

Dropbox nukes bloke's file share in DMCA brouhaha – then admits it made a 'HASH OF IT'

A Dropbox user sparked outrage after he revealed he was blocked from sharing a file he'd deposited in the online storage locker – because it was the target of a Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) anti-piracy takedown notice. The trouble started when designer Darrell Whitelaw found he couldn't share a file in a personal …
Iain Thomson, 31 Mar 2014

Britain's housing crisis: What are we going to do about it?

We talked last week about how macroeconomics is still pretty terrible at telling us what we ought to do about the world around us, which is why I always rather scratch me head at people who insist that rent control is going to be a good way of solving our current housing crisis. For amongst economists, there's a pretty good …
Tim Worstall, 30 Aug 2014
Panic button on keyboard

Super Cali signs a kill-switch, campaigners say it's atrocious

California's governor Jerry Brown has signed off on a bill that requires any manufacturer selling smartphones in the Golden State to install a kill switch capable of bricking the handset. Bill SB 962 has been signed into law, mandating all smartphones sold in California to have software in place to brick stolen handsets. The law …
Iain Thomson, 26 Aug 2014
Isilon 3-node S200

EMC slings Isilon onto a forklift, shifts it into Emerging Technologies

EMC is moving its Isilon scale-out storage systems into its Emerging Technologies division, alongside its DSSD, XtremIO and ViPR gear. ViPR was in the Advanced Software wing until that division's president Amitabh Srivastava was promoted to technical advisor to EMC II CEO David Goulden. Jeremy Burton, EMC president for products …
Chris Mellor, 26 Aug 2014
Broke - empty pockets

Microsoft: The MORE Surfaces it sells, the MORE money it loses

The more Surfaces slabs Microsoft sells, the more the Redmond giant has to shell out. Microsoft Thursday trumpeted $494m in revenue made from sales of Surface during its third fiscal quarter. But Microsoft also notched up $539m in costs associated with selling Surface, thereby cancelling out any profits and forcing it to post a …
Gavin Clarke, 25 Apr 2014

Hot students, 'liquid coolant', bagpipes and Brazilians: It's a cluster compo, folks

Both the UK and South America were ably represented at the recent 2014 International Supercomputing Conference Student Cluster Competition, held in Leipzig, Germany. For some reason, I want to Google up trendy cuisine to see if Scottish-Brazilian fusion restaurants actually exist. But I'm afraid of the possible results – so let' …

Samsung Gear S: Quick, LAUNCH IT – before Apple straps on iWatch

Samsung's Gear S appears to have pipped Apple's iWatch to the post. The South Korean firm today announced the release of a wearable smartwatch capable of making phone calls... and turning weedy wrists into computing powerhouses. The Samsung Gear S comes complete with 3G, a two inch curved Super AMOLED display and as well as …
Jasper Hamill, 28 Aug 2014
self-service checkout

Hey, IT department! Sick of vendor shaftings? Why not DO IT, yourself

Enterprise IT departments have been reduced to personal shoppers at best and checkout clerks at worst. You want extra lock-in on those chips, sir? I say this because IT departments just don’t make anything anymore. When was the last time you were required to actually make a new thing as part of an IT project? As the …
Warren Burns, 28 Feb 2014
Sonos Sub

It's big, it's expensive and it's an audiophile's dream: The Sonos Sub

The big dog in the streaming Wi-Fi speaker business has barked and delivered a sub-woofer - called the Sub. In fact it launched it a year and a half ago, but we can only now write about this heavy boom-box, so to speak, because the damn thing costs the best part of six hundred quid and we've had to save up our pennies. It's the …
Chris Mellor, 30 Jan 2014
Clouds_and_sun

Biz data botherer CommVault slips out fresh do-it-all bundle

CommVault has added additional AWS and Azure support and reveals easier, more targeted ways to buy its all-singing, all-dancing backup/archive/data management product Simpana 10. The AWS and Azure facilities include cloud reporting, end-user self-service provisioning, recovery, software snapshots and virtual machine resource …
Chris Mellor, 22 Aug 2014
Dolby UK demo listening room with Atmos enabled speakers

Dolby Atmos is coming home and it sounds amazing

Can Dolby Atmos save the beleaguered home cinema business? With sales of AV receivers tanking, makers of multichannel home theatre receivers are banking on the latest in surround sound technology to rekindle interest. Pioneer LaserDisc advertisement Remember the days when two speakers would keep movie buffs happy in the home? …
Steve May, 13 Aug 2014