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Systemax director Carl Fiorentino bribery trial moves to Florida

The trial of former Systemax director Carl Fiorentino has been moved from New York to Florida, where he was based when the alleged bribery offences are claimed to have occurred. Fiorentino, a one-time president of subsidiary Tiger Direct, stands accused of pocketing more than $7m in kickbacks from component suppliers in Taiwan …
Paul Kunert, 14 Jan 2014

Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage

A Florida dog-lover earned himself a cuffing last week after allegedly making the beast with two backs with a pit bull, this shock local report recounts. According to cops, Tampa officers were flagged down by locals disturbed by 57-year-old Bernard Marsonek's public display of cano-jiggyness Police mugshot of Bernard Marsonek …
Lester Haines, 10 Mar 2014
The shattered screen of the smartphone. Pic: Winter Garden police

HTC phone STOPS BULLET, saves Florida gas station clerk's life

A Florida gas station clerk escaped serious injury during an attempted robbery when his HTC smartphone took a bullet from a fleeing perp's pistol. The unnamed worker, at a Hess station in Winter Garden, west of Orlando, found himself on the wrong end of a round early on Monday morning, local news outfit WESH-TV reports. …
Lester Haines, 30 Oct 2013
The Register breaking news

Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL washes up on Florida beach

A Florida beachcomber has discovered what appears to be a huge eyeball washed up on the beach, and experts are stumped as to what kind of sea creature it came from. eye Eye, eye, what's all this then? Local resident Gino Covacci found the giant eyeball washed up at the high-tide mark of Pompano Beach on the southeast tip of …
Iain Thomson, 12 Oct 2012
The Register breaking news

Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama

Doctors have attempted to determine just what mind-altering substance may have provoked a carnival worker to allegedly jump naked onto a Florida couple's roof, charge into the house, smash a TV, masturbate on the living room floor, defecate on the premises and drink the contents of a wet-dry vacuum cleaner before he finally …
Lester Haines, 28 Jan 2013
The Register breaking news

Florida fisherman bags two-headed MUTANT SHARK

A Florida fisherman found an unpleasant-looking surprise in the belly of a bull shark he had just caught; a two-headed fetus ready to be born. Two-headed Bull Shark Double the bite (credit: Journal of Fish Biology) The specimen, described in the latest Journal of Fish Biology, has two heads side-by-side, each with its own …
Iain Thomson, 25 Mar 2013
The Register breaking news

University of Florida drops plans to axe CompSci for sports

A plan by the University of Florida (UF) to axe most of its computer science department while increasing sports funding is being reconsidered after the news went viral. In the last six years the Florida state government has cut funding to the university by nearly 25 per cent, and in an effort to save $1.4m UF decided to …
Iain Thomson, 26 Apr 2012
The Register breaking news

Florida man 'fesses to naked Scarlett Johansson outrage

A Florida man has admitted hacking into the email accounts of celebrities including Mila Kunis and Scarlett Johansson. Christopher Chaney, 35, of Jacksonville, Florida, agreed on Monday to plead guilty to nine felony charges including computer hacking and wiretapping, AP reports. The plea follows Chaney's arrest in October …
John Leyden, 23 Mar 2012
The Register breaking news

Serial killer PYTHONS stalk Florida's Everglades

Pesky pythons are wiping out mammals and birds – some of which are protected species – in Florida's Everglades National Park, according to a new study. Open-mouthed Burmese python What's for dinner? Credit: Mannes Fotos (GNU license) Non-native Burmese pythons are chowing down on the local populace to such an extent that …
The Register breaking news

Florida lag packs prison survival kit up jacksie

A Florida lag was last week relieved of the substantial prison surival kit he attempted to smuggle into Sarasota County jail in the time-honoured manner - packed in a condom up his jacksie. Police mugshot of Neil Lansing On Friday, homeless Neil Lansing, 33, was hauled before a judge on an unspecified charge, and promptly …
Lester Haines, 18 Feb 2011
The Register breaking news

Florida cops tase naked jogger

Florida police tased a 18-year-old this week after spotting him going for a jog wearing nothing but a pair of swimming goggles. West Melbourne Police officer Ken Sells spotted Zak Anthony King out for what appeared to be an early Monday morning constitutional. However, Sells quickly realised King was stark naked, save for a pair …
Joe Fay, 14 Oct 2010
The Register breaking news

Florida cops left stoned stunned by pot-filled SUV

A Florida Road Ranger was left holding his nose last week when an unconscious driver turned out to be packing 100lbs of pot plant. The ranger apparently spotted the Chevy Tahoe pulled over on the median of the Pametto Expressway in Doral last Thursday, MSNBC reported. As he approached the car he noticed that the driver appeared …
Joe Fay, 20 Sep 2010
Dunce

How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000

A Florida dad is $80,000 poorer after his daughter went on Facebook to brag about a court settlement he received – and lost him the lot. Patrick Snay is the former headmaster of Gulliver Preparatory School in Miami, and in 2011 he launched legal action against his old employers after his contract was not renewed. Snay claimed he …
Iain Thomson, 01 Mar 2014
NRO spy sat launch

Top Secret US payload launched into space successfully

A mysterious spy satellite got off the ground safely yesterday evening from Cape Canaveral in Florida, United Launch Alliance has said. Youtube Video A ULA Atlas V rocket stack blasted off with the clandestine payload for the National Reconnaissance Office, which was designated NROL-67 and is a "mission in support of national …
Bitcoins

Vice squad cuffs vice chairman of Bitcoin Foundation in $1m money-laundering probe

The Bitcoin Foundation is shy a vice chairman today: US money-laundering investigators have arrested and charged Charlie Shrem, the 24-year-old CEO of one-time Bitcoin exchange BitInstant. Also arrested and charged is Bitcoin trader Robert Faiella, 52, who operated as BTCKing on the underground e-bazaar Silk Road before it was …
Pirate Flag

Feds land first convictions over pirated mobile apps

The US has enforced its first convictions for illegally distributing counterfeit mobile apps, after two Florida men pleaded guilty for their part in a scheme that sold pirated apps with a total retail value of more than $700,000. Thomas Allen Dye, 21, and 26-year-old Nicholas Anthony Narbone both pleaded guilty to the same …
The Register breaking news

EXPLODING GARBAGE TERROR hits Florida

Terror struck the Floridian city of Orlando this week as a garbage lorry exploded in a blast heard across the neighbourhood after a refuse operative tossed unidentified rubbish into its compactor. Local cops, firemen and bomb-disposal experts rushed to the scene and surrounding homes were evacuated, with other residents warned …
Lewis Page, 30 Nov 2010
The Register breaking news

Florida cops cage 'Dracula'

The powers that be in Florida are holding a man cops have dubbed "Dracula", and who's certainly a contender for the worst ever mugshot trophy. Dale Lee's mugshot. Pic: Pasco Sherrif's Office Dale Alan Lee. 43, was arrested on an aggravated battery rap after allegedly stabbing a man in the stomach in Dade City. One shaken …
Lester Haines, 10 Sep 2009

You're fired: Lord Sugar offloads faded PC builder Viglen to XMA

Lord Sugar has walked away from education tech supplier Viglen, which has inked a big channel merger deal with government reseller XMA. The company's customer services boss Glyn Wragg told workers on Monday about the takeover. An anonymous source, who works at the firm, told The Channel that it was the first official word …
Team Register, 09 Jan 2014
SGI logo hardware close-up

Florida A & M show up. Their hardware doesn't

This is the first Student Cluster Competition for the Florida A & M (FAMU) team and it couldn't have started much worse. Due to a delivery snafu, their system failed to turn up in time for them to participate in the competition. Many teams would have called it a day: it's not like you can run over to Staples and buy another one …
The Register breaking news

Dinky Florida machine 'could whup world No 1 computer's ass'

Which is the most powerful computer in the world? Easy: the Tianhe-1A at Tianjin in China. Just ask the chaps at the TOP500 supercomputer list – or President Barack Obama. "Just recently, China became home of ... the world’s fastest computer," said the prez in his latest State of the Union speech. That makes the high …
Lewis Page, 16 Feb 2011
The Register breaking news

Nude Florida man in gunfight with police SWAT robot

A naked Florida man sent a police SWAT robot fleeing from his home after opening fire on the tin cop with an AK-47 assault rifle. The heavily armed indoor nudist had become the subject of police attention as he was known to possess "several guns" and to have stated that he was suicidal, as well as offering threats. "He said …
Lewis Page, 11 Apr 2011

Melting permafrost switches to nasty, high-gear methane release

A team of researchers has discovered new evidence that as the permafrost layer that covers 24 per cent of the Northern Hemisphere continues to thaw as global temperatures increase, not only does it release more greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere, but as time goes by the ratio of carbon dioxide (CO2) to methane (CH4) changes …
Rik Myslewski, 09 Apr 2014
The Register breaking news

Florida flasher deploys 'explosive diarrhoea' defence

A Florida flasher who allegedly exposed himself to two women explained to cops that his state of undress was due to an "explosive diarrhoea" incident. Collier County deputies responded to a call on Monday that painter Todd Napodano, 42, stood up inside his white Chevrolet box-truck van in a Naples parking lot and "shook his hips …
Lester Haines, 06 Nov 2009
Boston Dynamics Atlas

Who's the best-built bot that makes the US military hot? SCHAFT!

A Japanese robotics company now owned by Google has won the first stage of the DARPA Robotics Challenge, which is trying to find a new generation of mechanoids to keep fleshy humans safe from harm. Youtube video of the SCHAFT robot The first of the challenge trials were held in Florida over the weekend and saw humanoid robots …
Iain Thomson, 23 Dec 2013
gavel_judgment_channel

Former Systemax exec faces second probe by Feds

Former Systemax exec Carl Fiorentino, the man currently contesting charges of fraud related to his work at his former company, is the subject of a second federal probe, according to a recent US court filing. This second probe was mentioned by his legal team at Pinera-Vazquez Law Firm in its petition to move the venue of the …
Paul Kunert, 31 Oct 2013
The Register breaking news

Endeavour stays toasty in Florida chill

NASA technicians are keeping space shuttle Endeavour nice and toasty ahead of its forthcoming STS-130 mission to the International Space Station, as Florida enjoys "unusually cold weather". Endeavour on the launchpad. Pic: NASA The shuttle is sitting on Kennedy Space Center's launch pad 39A (see pic), protected from catching …
Lester Haines, 08 Jan 2010

Bay of Tweets: US sought to disrupt Cuba with covert social network

The US government ran a covert campaign to undermine the Cuban government via a social networking platform, according to the Associated Press. A report from the news agency detailed the launch and eventualy shutdown of ZunZuneo, a Twitter-like platform which its creators say was designed to spur free speech, and which the AP …
Shaun Nichols, 04 Apr 2014
The Register breaking news

Florida judges banned from 'friending' lawyers on Facebook

Florida judges are barred from becoming Facebook friends with local lawyers because the online relation implies they're BFFs in RL, the Sunshine State's legal ethics board has decided. In November, the Florida Supreme Court's Judicial Ethics Advisory Committee determined that judges cannot include lawyers as friends on certain …
Austin Modine, 11 Dec 2009

Thousands rally behind teen girl cuffed, expelled in harmless 'explosion'

Controversial decisions by officials in Florida to arrest, charge and expel from school a teenage girl (and model student) for causing a totally harmless "explosion" by mixing household products in a plastic bottle are attracting widespread condemnation. Kiera Wilmot, 16, a student at Bartow High School in Florida, is no …
Lewis Page, 02 May 2013
The Register breaking news

Controversy rages over robot vasectomy reversal in Florida

Medical boffins in Florida have announced a breakthrough of buttock-clenching importance: Surgical robots have apparently broken the world speed record for reversing vasectomies. “This is state-of-the-art stuff, it’s cutting-edge,” says Dr Wayne Kuang, director of Male Reproductive Health at the University of New Mexico, …
Lewis Page, 08 Jan 2010
Sony Walkman

Cost-slashing Sony axes 1,000 workers and 20 stores in US

Sony Electronics announced that it will shut 20 of the 31 stores it operates in the US and lay off 1,000 workers – a third of its workforce. The entertainment giant said the redundancies are part of Sony Corp's wider cash-cutting program, which will axe 5,000 jobs worldwide and kicked off at the start of February. Back then, it …
Shaun Nichols, 27 Feb 2014
The Register breaking news

Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates

A Florida Highway Patrol officer has admitted his incredulity at a woman who pranged her car while shaving her privates. Megan Mariah Barnes, 37, was driving her Thunderbird in Key West last week when she piled into the back of a Chevrolet pickup carrying four people. Or rather, although she was in the driver's seat, it was …
Lester Haines, 09 Mar 2010
Surface Pro 2 with docking station

Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2

Microsoft is planning a midnight launch for its next-generation Surface fondleslabs, to be capped by a performance by rapper Pitbull. Reg readers may recall that Redmond pulled a similar stunt when it launched the Surface RT last October, holding witching-hour events at the 32 pop-up stores it opened for the holiday season. …
Neil McAllister, 09 Oct 2013
A Cassini image of the polar hydrocarbon lakes of Titan

Saturn's moon Titan had swamps, say astroboffins

Titan, the moon of Saturn often present at the top of candidate lists for life-bearing bodies in our near neighbourhood, may once have housed extensive swamps. So say boffins from the Florida Institute of Technology and The Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, who have popped out a paper titled ”Elevation …
Simon Sharwood, 03 Dec 2013
The Register breaking news

GIANT EYEBALL PANIC ends: Oceanic peeper identified

The giant eyeball that washed up on a Florida beach last week has been identified, quelling fears of a new monster swimming in the vasty deep. Researchers at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) report that the eye has been positively identified as coming from Xiphias gladius, or as it is more commonly …
Iain Thomson, 15 Oct 2012
The Register breaking news

Underwear obligatory for Florida city workers

The council of Brooksville, Florida, has clamped down on malodorous city employees sporting Spandex halter tops and exotic piercings while further prejudicing the town's "public image" by turning up for work without underwear. The new dress code specifically mandates the use of deodorant, while banning "distracting, offensive or …
Lester Haines, 19 Jun 2009

SpaceX Falcon 9 reaches MONEY RING with successful launch

The Elon Musk–backed SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket has made its much-anticipated voyage to geostationary orbit. We have liftoff...finally! The company on Tuesday was able to launch the rocket and then maneuver the craft into place above the Earth's equator, where a second burn was able to place the craft into its intended orbit for …
Shaun Nichols, 04 Dec 2013

Tech Data: We need ethics, and we've found the right man

It comes to something when a corporation is forced to appoint a chief ethics and compliance officer but that is exactly what distributor Tech Data has done, weeks after completing its costly accounting investigation. Fourteen-year company veteran Jean-Paul Durand – who most recently served as TD's vice president, assistant …
Paul Kunert, 18 Feb 2014
BlackBerry logo

Party's over in Waterloo as BlackBerry pulls plug on 2014 Live conference

BlackBerry-friendly IT managers and developers will feel a little lonelier next year, now that the Waterloo, Ontario–based firm has announced there will be no 2014 BlackBerry Live conference. Official BlackBerry blogger Donny Halliwell revealed the company's plans on Friday, saying BlackBerry had decided that putting on a big …
Neil McAllister, 24 Dec 2013
Googorola logo

Google v Intellectual Ventures patent spat jury: Soz judge, we're stumped on this

A US judge has declared a mistrial in a patent lawsuit brought by Intellectual Ventures against Googorola after the jurors failed to reach a unanimous verdict in the case. The patent-holding firm set up by former Microsoftie Nathan Myhrvold is suing over three patents covering mobile phones and software, including one that …
The Register breaking news

Roachzilla menaces Florida

University of Florida scientists have warned that several species of imported giant cockroach, favoured by reptile owners as an alternative to putting crickets on the menu, could escape and thrive in the state's roach-friendly climate. The potential threats include the Madagascar hissing cockroach - which grows up to five inches …
Lester Haines, 18 Nov 2008
FBI badge and gun

Got a TorMail account to avoid Uncle Sam's web snoops? About that...

It appears the US Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) has a copy of a server used by TorMail – a hidden email service that tries to keep its users anonymous. In a court filing [PDF] that emerged this week, it's said FBI agents obtained the contents of a TorMail server last summer. According to the statement, submitted by a US …
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jan 2014
Martian meteorite NWA7533

ROCK FROM MARS FOUND in Africa, reveals Red Planet's SECRETS

Boffins have dated a piece of Martian meteorite they reckon is the oldest bit of the planet ever collected. Martian meteorite NWA7533 Radioactive analysis of the zircons in NWA7533, a meteorite found in Northwest Africa, have revealed that the rock is around 4.4 billion years old - so it was formed just 100 million years …
Tech Data

IT distie Tech Data must end accounts-unbungling probe within a fortnight

NASDAQ-listed Tech Data has less than a fortnight to get its accounts in order and financial filings up to date, the distributor acknowledged last night. The Florida-based broadline IT distribution giant discovered whopping great errors in its finance records at UK subsidiary C2000 back in March, which were related to blunders …
Paul Kunert, 13 Sep 2013
Snapchat logo

Snapchat vows to shut its hole in wake of 4.6 million user data breach

Mobile image-sharer Snapchat has promised an update to its service to seal off a security hole that allowed hackers to harvest the account details of some 4.6 million users. The company said that its update will allow users to opt out of the Find Friends system and prevent others from looking up their account information through …
Shaun Nichols, 04 Jan 2014
Michael Thomasson

Guinness gives games geek world record for 10,607 piece collection

A computer science teacher has the world's biggest hoard of games, with a collection of nearly 11,000 software titles and the hardware to play them, according to the Guinness World Records organization. Michael Thomasson Forget it ladies, he's married. "I have games on cartridge, laser disc. I have VHS-based games, cassette- …
Iain Thomson, 26 Dec 2013

Blundering Tech Data faces NASDAQ boot over Computer 2000 accounts

Tech Data is facing a delisting from the NASDAQ unless it can bring its financial house in order, the distributor has confirmed. The world's second largest tech wholesaler had until 26 September to file its fiscal 2013 Form 10-K - an annual report required by the SEC - and numbers for first half of this current financial year. …
Paul Kunert, 04 Oct 2013
Angry woman on mobile

Romance is dead: Part-time model slings $1.5bn SUEBALL at Match.com

Online dating website Match.com is being sued by a woman in Florida, who has brought a $1.5bn class-action lawsuit against the company in which she alleges that photos of her and thousands of others were used without permission on fake profiles. Part-time model Yuliana Avalos said of her complaint, which was filed in the US …
Team Register, 26 Nov 2013
George Teixeira and Ziya_Aral

Whoo-whoo. What's that sound? It's the DataCore Express passing '10k'

Storage-area-network (SAN) software supplier DataCore has, we're told, notched up 10,000 customer sites. DataCore is based in Florida and ships SANsymphony and allied SAN software products that turn standalone and clustered X86 servers and their storage into SANs. The latest, ninth, version of SANsymphony has increased the …
Chris Mellor, 22 Oct 2013