Articles about Cock

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RBS's Ulster Bank whacked with enormous IT cock-up fine

RBS-owned Ulster Bank has been whacked with a €3.5m (£2.75m) fine for the IT outsourcing cock-up that affected RBS customers in 2012. The incident resulted in around 600,000 customers being deprived of basic banking services over a 28 day-period during June and July 2012, said the Central Bank of Ireland (CBI). The fine is the …
Kat Hall, 12 Nov 2014

'We screwed up' sighs Sony bigwig after gaming portals collapse in DNS cock-up riddle

A couple of Sony's websites disappeared from the internet on Tuesday, leading some angry console fiddlers to accuse the Japanese giant of forgetting to pay its domain name bills. The websites www.soe.com and www.SonyOnline.net serve as portals to Sony Online Entertainment's gaming world, allowing players to take part in games …
Jasper Hamill, 16 Jul 2014
flames

Lenov-OUCH! 500,000 laptop cables recalled in burning mains cock-up

Lenovo is recalling about 500,000 AC power cords for its B, G, and V-series laptops and IdeaPads – after 15 cases were reported of the cables overheating, sparking, melting and burning. "Only the AC Power Line Cord is being recalled," Lenovo said on its global recall website. "The Adapter that connects to the computer is not …
Iain Thomson, 11 Dec 2014
The Register breaking news

London Mayor shows off GIANT BLUE COCK in busy square

Mayor of London Boris Johnson has unzipped the flies on the latest work of art to be commissioned for Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth: a giant blue cock that proudly stands at 4.72 metres high. The unkempt, shock-headed Tory couldn't resist a bit of willy-waving in the direction of Prime Minister David Cameron either, by sagely …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Jul 2013

Systems cock-up plagued new hospital in Melbourne

An Australian hospital is reportedly in chaos after a partnership with a cancer clinic resulted in the collapse of its booking system. According to The Age, the opening of the Olivia Newton-John Cancer and Wellness Centre, operated in conjunction with Austin Health, heralded the introduction of a new booking system in May 2013 …

Japan airport staff dash to replace passcodes after security cock-up

The dangers of writing passwords down on paper were laid bare in the Japanese airport of Haneda this week after a member of staff managed to lose a note containing key security codes ahead of US president Barack Obama’s arrival today. The unlucky Skymark Airlines employee dropped the memo – which contained a list of the codes – …
Phil Muncaster, 23 Apr 2014

Apple's warrant canary riddle: Cock-up, conspiracy, or anti-Google point-scoring

Analysis The internet was in a tizzy this week following the disappearance of what's assumed to be a warrant canary in Apple's latest report on governments demanding users' private data. The mere presence of the canary paragraph is supposed to signal that no information has been extracted. Thus, if it vanishes, it's assumed records have …
Iain Thomson, 20 Sep 2014

New iPhone sells out, millions in hands of lucky fans, Cook cock a hoop ...

Updated Apple has given itself a pat on the back after shifting nine million of its latest iPhone 5S and 5C models over their first weekend on sale. However, while we know that the iPhone 5S has sold out across the world, the success of the cheaper plastic-sheathed 5C is less clear. Apple has not broken down the new iPhone 5-series …
Jasper Hamill, 23 Sep 2013

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO: NASA rovers scrawl giant willy on Mars

Pic Space cadets tittering at the mention of Uranus have a new celestial object to giggle at: A giant penis drawn on the surface of Mars by NASA robots. Hard-up NASA in space knob outrage ... the rover's actual pic. Credit: NASA The US space agency's $820m exploration rovers Spirit and Opportunity set out for Mars in 2003 and, …
Jasper Hamill, 24 Apr 2013
The Register breaking news

Finance bods probe RBS over bank-crippling IT cock-up

A banking watchdog has launched an investigation into the IT meltdown that crippled bank accounts held by millions of NatWest, RBS and Ulster Bank customers in June last year. The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has begun a probe into the disaster, which saw the RBS group unable to process payments following a catastrophic …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Apr 2013
Ryanair

Independent inquiry into British air-traffic-control IT nightmare

The UK Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) and the National Air Traffic Services (NATS) have today opened a joint independent enquiry into the IT cock-up which grounded hundreds of flights last week. On Friday London airspace was effectively shut down due to an IT failure at NATS. Sources told El Reg this was due to an IBM S/390 …
Kat Hall, 15 Dec 2014

The TRUTH behind Microsoft Azure's global cloud mega-cock-up

Windows Azure suffered a global meltdown at the end of October that caused us to question whether Microsoft had effectively partitioned off bits of the cloud from one another. Now we have some answers. After a bit of prodding, Redmond sat us down with Windows Azure general manager Mike Neil, who explained to us why a sub- …
Jack Clark, 08 Nov 2013

Total Computer Networks latest to cock a snook at downturn

Total Computer Networks (TCN) booked another double-digit sales hike in calendar 2012 on the back of a surge in consolidation projects from mid-market customers. The Northampton-based HP- and Microsoft-Gold accredited partner saw turnover bounce 22 per cent, year on year, to a little over £20m - during the worst recessionary …
Paul Kunert, 24 May 2013
The Register breaking news

How an Amazon engineer's slip-up started a 20-hour Netflix cock-up

An Amazon engineer hit the wrong button on Christmas Eve, deleting critical data in its load balancers and ultimately knackering vid streaming biz Netflix for 20 hours. The Netflix outage hit customers in the US, Canada and Latin America on 24 December, particularly those using games consoles and mobiles to watch films, while …
Anna Leach, 02 Jan 2013

Elop's enlarged package claim was a cock-up, admits Nokia chairman

Nokia's chairman has admitted he was wrong to say that CEO Stephen Elop's €18.8m (£15.6m) payoff was all very regular and run of the mill. As the Finnish giant came under political pressure for promising its outgoing chief exec the whopping windfall, chairman Risto Siilasmaa incorrectly told the press last week that Elop's …
Andrew Orlowski, 25 Sep 2013

Microsoft coughs up compensation for Azure cloud cock-up

Microsoft has vowed to compensate users of its Azure cloud after an expired SSL certificate took the service offline. Victims of the Blue Sky of Death, which lasted 12 hours, will get credits as per their service-level agreement (SLA), the Redmond giant confirmed on its website. Windows Azure was knocked offline globally …
Original "Airplane" image from Paramount Pictures

UK air traffic bods deny they 'skimped' on IT investment after server mega-fail

The chief executive of the National Air Traffic Services, Richard Deakin, has denied the body “skimped" on its IT investment after being hauled in front MPs this week to account for its major computer outage. The cock-up last Friday resulted in 120 flights being cancelled and 500 flights being delayed for 45 minutes, affecting a …
Kat Hall, 19 Dec 2014
The Register breaking news

Natwest freezes debit cards, online banking in fresh cock-up

Another IT cock-up at Natwest halted customers' debit card transactions last night and took down online services. The RBS-owned bank reckons its latest screw-up was fixed at 9.40am, some 16 hours after it first admitted things had gone to pot at 4.30pm. Customers complained that debit payments couldn't be made, sparking major …
Anna Leach, 27 Jul 2012
Not for hobbits

Waving an Eye-of-Sauron pulsating mock cock? STOP IMMEDIATELY

NSFW Ann Summers has declared one of its vibrators is NSFW - and the last letter doesn't stand for working. The High Street sex shop chain has recalled its range of Ultimate O sex toys over fears that power supplies may be faulty. Anyone who purchased one of the pink pleasure-givers can return it to Ann Summers for a refund. " …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Jun 2013

Most UK privacy cock-ups are 'careless' spaffing of personal data - watchdog

Most of the data breach incidents analysed by the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) in a three-month period earlier this year concerned errors in the way personal information was disclosed, the watchdog has said. The ICO said that it had looked at 335 data breach incidents between 1 April and 30 June 2013 and found that in …
OUT-LAW.COM, 13 Aug 2013
The Register breaking news

Virgin Media punters stung in mobile data bill cock-up

A number of Virgin Media customers were wrongly billed for mobile data usage last month due to a system error, The Register has learned. However, the telco was unable to tell us exactly what had gone wrong. A Virgin Media spokesman assured El Reg that customers who had been incorrectly billed needn't worry as the ISP is …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Aug 2012
The Register breaking news

Man killed by own cock

A Bengali man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after he pushed his metal-enhanced cock that bit too far. Singrai Soren, a trainer of fighting roosters, was killed in Mohanpur in West Bengal after one of his birds apparently turned on him, the Daily Mail soberly relates. According to a friend, Soren forced the cockerel …
Sarah Bee, 21 Jan 2011
The Register breaking news

Teachers get earful of racy XXX chat in Capita IT cock-up

Capita's school IT wing is on the naughty step after putting teachers and administrators through to advertisements for adult chat lines. Anyone trying to get through to the support helpdesk for the Capita School Information Management System in the last few days has instead been transferred to wrong numbers, including some XXX- …

Fasthosts goes titsup, blames DNS blunder

Fasthosts went titsup this morning after DNS issues blighted the service. Biz customers complained about the outage and demanded an immediate fix from Fasthosts, which has been responding to the technical crisis via its Twitter account. Others moaned that they were unable to get through on Fasthosts' support phone line, which …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Outage STILL hitting Virgin Media Business broadband customers

A number of Virgin Media broadband customers have been cut off due to a firmware update cock-up, The Register can reveal. Customers using the company's Super Hub 1 services were affected by the outage at the beginning of the weekend, with the company saying it is "working to resolve the problem". However, it is unclear how many …
Kat Hall, 03 Dec 2014
The Playmobil bank set, complete with armed robber

Banks, UK.gov must work together to beat cyber-nasties

Government must work closely with UK banks to improve financial institutions' infrastructure and resilience to cyber attacks, the Bank of England has warned. Banks currently view cyber attacks as a "technical" problem, rather than an issue which merits "board-level attention," it said on Tuesday in its Financial Stability Report …
Kat Hall, 16 Dec 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car

NHS and POLICE non-emergency services GO DARK after Voda switch failure - source

The collapse of Britain's non-emergency telephone numbers for the police (101) and the NHS (111) last week was due to a switch failure at Vodafone, The Register understands. The outage affected a number of Vodafone's customers on 22 November, including First Great Western, Barclays and RAC. A source told El Reg the outage …
Kat Hall, 28 Nov 2014
The Register breaking news

Let's talk about the RBS IT cock-up

Live chat One month ago a rookie IT mistake crippled the banking network of the RBS Group. Sixteen million customers – individuals and companies - of RBS, NatWest and the Bank of Ulster were locked out of accounts, unable to withdraw cash or pay into accounts for days. The cause? An “inexperienced operative” pressing the wrong button on …
Gavin Clarke, 20 Jul 2012
ebuyer

Ebuyer on the naughty step for fondleslab promo cock-up

Ebuyer has been rapped for a "misleading" tablet promotion and ordered not to repeat similar claims of cost savings in future. The Advertising Standards Agency gave the online IT bazaar a stern ticking off after receiving a complaint about an email sent to customers touting the Storage Options' Scroll Extreme Tablet PC. The …
Paul Kunert, 11 Jul 2012
T-Mobile Vairy Touch II

Auto-correct cock-up sends schools into lockdown

Auto-correct is known to be the cause of many a hilarious text misunderstanding, but when one student sent a message to say they were "gunna be" at school and the word became "gunman", you can imagine the chaos it would cause. Particularly in America. That is exactly what happened to one student at Lanier Technical College in …
Caleb Cox, 01 Mar 2012
Photo of Microsoft Surface Windows 8 Pro, with Touch Cover

No UK date, no biz disties: Will Microsoft cock-up the Surface Pro too?

Microsoft may be playing its cards too closely to his chest for its Windows 8 Surface Pro slate: there's no word on a UK launch date nor any effort to bring the business-to-business distribution channel onside. As revealed yesterday, the Intel-powered Pro slab - billed as an office PC replacement - will be rolled out in North …
Paul Kunert, 24 Jan 2013

Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up

Virgin Media's broadband network suffered what appeared to be a widespread service disruption on Saturday – the second such weekend, packet loss blunder to have struck the cable company in recent months. Customers complained on VM's forum and Twitter about major performance problems blighting the network. However, it took …
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Nov 2014
The Register breaking news

Vodafone loses access to punters' records in IT cock-up

Vodafone is investigating a glitch with its billing system that left its workers unable to access UK customer accounts today. Punters contacting Voda to chat about their accounts were told that was impossible because the computers that host their details were down. Voice calls and data on the mobile operator's network carried on …
Anna Leach, 06 Aug 2012
The Register breaking news

Olympic Security cock-up was down to that DARN software

The CEO of beleaguered security company G4S blamed his "scheduling system" as he explained his company's failure to adequately secure the Olympics. Facing MPs on the Home Affairs Select Committee yesterday, Nick Buckles said that the company took 100 per cent of the responsibility for the cock-up that has led to 3400 squaddies …
Anna Leach, 18 Jul 2012
frustration_anger_irritation_annoyance pain

Ex-NSA lawyer warns Google, Apple: IMPENETRABLE RIM ruined BlackBerry

An ex-NSA lawyer believes BlackBerry's ongoing downfall stems from the company's use of strong encryption – and Apple and Google are next to wither on the vine. Nope, it makes no sense to us, either. Speaking at the Dublin Web Summit this week, Stewart Baker, a former NSA lawyer and assistant secretary for the Department of …
Shaun Nichols, 07 Nov 2014

Accounts probe stings IT distie giant Tech Data on the bottom line

The residual effects of Tech Data's accountancy blunder have emerged in the distribution goliath's figures for the first quarter of its new fiscal year. While the numbers published today show rising sales, profits – hit by a series of charges including a $12.2m cost related to the accounts cock-up – are well off the pace. Tech …
Paul Kunert, 29 May 2014

Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has identified "technical and security vulnerabilities" in its £284.9m central benefits payment system - responsible for underpinning the much-maligned Universal Credit programme and processing 13 million payments each week, The Register can reveal. The Central Payments System's …
Kat Hall, 20 Nov 2014
The Register breaking news

Castleford locals storm Tickle Cock bridge

Irate locals in Castleford, West Yorkshire, have forced the council to reinstate the suggestive name of Tickle Cock bridge - a railway underpass traditionally used by courting couples to do their... courting. The powers that be apparently decided to change the name as part of a regeneration exercise, and one official reckoned " …
Lester Haines, 18 Feb 2010
The Register breaking news

Thousands of fingered crims, informants spaffed in web security COCK-UP

Exclusive An IT blunder splashed photos of suspected criminals and details of Brits who reported them over the internet, The Register can reveal. The Facewatch website, which allows police and businesses to upload and share evidence of alleged petty crimes, was left wide open thanks to a web-server misconfiguration. The schoolboy error …
Jasper Hamill, 19 Jun 2013
Laser weapon aboard USS Ponce

US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Pic and video After years of promises the US Navy has deployed its first operational laser cannon, which has been built into the USS Ponce and sent into a combat zone. The 30-kilowatt laser weapon system (LaWS) has been mounted high up on Ponce's superstructure, and a flashy video released by the Navy shows it blowing up parts of boats and a …
Iain Thomson, 11 Dec 2014
The Register breaking news

Distressed cock whipped out of wheelie bin

Animal lovers have lashed out at 'callous criminals' who left a cockerel trapped in a wheelie bin. The Telegraph reports the outrage today, adding that it has raised fears of a wave of copycock cat animal/wheelie bin outrages. Freddie the cockerel was apparently scooped out of a wheelie bin at a block of flats in Gloucester on …
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2010
Orange Credit Card

Home Depot: 56 million bank cards pwned by malware in our tills

Home Depot today admitted 56 million bank cards are at risk after they were used in malware-infected tills. The DIY giant on Thursday revealed that a software nasty infiltrated its PC-powered registers between April and September in the US and Canada. Cards swiped through the compromised machines could be accessed by the malware …
Shaun Nichols, 18 Sep 2014
Near-death...or the London Underground - is it one in the same..?

Sacre BLEURGH: Google thinks London's Victoria station is on the PARIS Metro

Google Maps is sloppily displaying the French Metro symbol for some route options on the subway London Underground. The UK capital's iconic Tube brand has been replaced with the letter "M" in some instances on the ad giant's mapping app, which is a symbol used by the subterranean transport network in Paris, France. Reg reader …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 May 2014

Google Nexus 7 shipping cock-up enrages fandroids

Google hasn't cloaked itself in greatness if the number of complaints from a legion of frustrated customers awaiting the arrival of the Nexus 7 is anything to go by. Those who pre-ordered the Jelly Bean Android-powered fondleslab from the web giant's online Play store late last month have told of shipping delays and poor …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jul 2012
The Register breaking news

RBS: June's tech enormo-cock-up cost us £125m

RBS's software upgrade blunder in June has cost the banking group £125m so far this year, with further costs expected. The bulk of that money was spent on compensating customers, with the cost of the actual technical fix "unlikely to cost a meaningful amount", according to group finance director Bruce Van Saun. RBS also clocked …
Anna Leach, 03 Aug 2012
The Register breaking news

Email cock-up blamed in Check Point domain expiry snafu

Check Point has downplayed the significance of a domain renewal mix-up that resulted in its home page being replaced by a holding page for a brief period on Monday. The problem arose because Network Solutions sent the security firm's domain renewal notice to the wrong email address, a statement by the firewall and VPN firm …
John Leyden, 03 Apr 2012
The Register breaking news

Nielsen cops to iPad stat cock-up

The customarily competent media-survey firm, The Nielsen Company, has backtracked on its startling claim that one-third of all iPad users have never download an app. The company now says that the number of download virgins is fewer than one in ten. "This article and the related download have been amended to reflect updates to …
Rik Myslewski, 25 Oct 2010
Our LOHAN mission patch design

El Reg's mighty rocket spaceplane Vulture 2 arrives in US of A

The Vulture 2 spaceplane arrived safely in the USA last week, and is currently resting at a secure facility in Denver courtesy of Jeff Anderton of video production outfit Mass Transit. Our rocket ship's relocation came as part of my own trip Stateside, which saw myself and Edge Research Lab's David Patterson on a reccy to …
Lester Haines, 16 Dec 2014
The Register breaking news

Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

Scots with an eye for a bargain and a healthy thirst mobilised en masse yesterday to storm several Tesco stores after a pricing error offered boxes of beer at irresistable prices. The deal was supposed to be "buy three boxes of beer and save £11", but punters soon realised that instead of charging 20 quid for the triple whammy, …
Lester Haines, 02 Jun 2011

Japanese finally produce a ROBOT which isn't DEAD INSIDE

Pic Boffins have unveiled a robot that, we're confidently told, can understand human emotions. Named Pepper, the shiny machine has what appears to be a tablet computer strapped to its chest, and it resembles a cross between a mermaid and a, ahem, marital aid. It is the work of SoftBank Mobile Corp, a Japanese cell network, and …
Jasper Hamill, 05 Jun 2014