Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/05/19/nork_resurrection/

'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

Reports of Nork chanteuse's demise greatly exaggerated

By Lester Haines

Posted in Bootnotes, 19th May 2014 10:08 GMT

We're delighted to announce that reports of the execution last year of North Korean chanteuse Hyon Song-wol appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

The former lover of Nork supremo Kim Jong-un was allegedly dragged before a firing squad along with fellow musicians on charges of "videotaping themselves having sex and selling the videos" and having "Bibles in their possession".

However, the North Koreans insist Hyon appeared alive and kicking at the at the "National Meeting of Artists" in Pyongyang last Friday, and have a video to prove it:

The blurb explains: "In 2013, a lot of western media reported false information about about the alleged murder of Hyon Song Wol, former singer of Pochonbo Electronic Ensemble and Wangjaesan Light Music Band.

"A milions of people believed that our government kills every single person for almost everything. Today, we're giving you a proof that Hyon Song Wol is ALIVE and that nobody was killed."

It chides: "See how you are being manipulated by western media and south Korean puppet regime, who is still giving false information about Democratic People's Repulic of Korea. Thruth will always win. No matter when."

In November last year, the international press followed its Hyon Song-wol explosive newsgasm by publishing unconfirmed reports that the Norks had topped 80 people for watching banned South Korean soap operas and smuggled DVDs of Desperate Housewives.

No doubt an official video of happy North Korean families enjoying unfettered access to Eva Longoria will surface in due course. In the meantime, cast you eyes over Hyon performing A Girl in the Saddle of a Steed, which demonstrates what attracted the Communist state's chubby tyrant to her in the first place:

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