Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/11/25/when_do_people_look_at_smut_survey/

What turns Americans on? Everything but XMAS and OSAMA

Smut site releases stats on global grumble flick consumption

By Jasper Hamill

Posted in Bootnotes, 25th November 2013 06:03 GMT

As Britain enjoyed the royal wedding, the rest of the world was "searching for Kate's nude pictures", according to a leading porn site.

Statistics released by PornHub, which claims to be the world's biggest sex flick site, has released statistics showing the bump and grind of porn traffic during key world events.

There was a seven per cent rise in global porn traffic on the day when Wills and Kate tied the knot. Grumble viewing drooped by 15 per cent in Britain during the ceremony, only to shoot up in huge spurts for the rest of the day.

Britain watched 27 per cent less porn during The Olympic opening ceremony while in the United States, 2 per cent more pervs stuck on a naughty movie.

During the release of the first iPad, concupiscent consumption shot up 9 per cent in America, but then plunged by 5 per cent when the iPhone 5 hit the streets.

Here's how PornHub described its findings: "When Osama Bin Laden was killed, 7 per cent of Americans pulled up their pants as Osama got caught with his down."

In translation, this means porn traffic dropped by seven per cent.

"The opposite effect was seen when people believed the Mayan Calendar meant the world was ending, and instead of trying to find a mate to share one last sexual moment with. A 10 per cent spike from the US showed that Americans wanted to stay in the comfort of their own homes on a solo mission to have sex with someone they loved.

"As you were able to see, world events play a key role in the dips in traffic that PornHub experiences!"

Most of the world stops watching porn at Christmas, apart from Japan*. ®

* Could be explained by fact that over 80 per cent identify as Shinto or Buddhist.