Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/28/florida_incident/

Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama

Homeowner whips out .38, perp whips out his piece

By Lester Haines

Posted in Bootnotes, 28th January 2013 06:05 GMT

Doctors have attempted to determine just what mind-altering substance may have provoked a carnival worker to allegedly jump naked onto a Florida couple's roof, charge into the house, smash a TV, masturbate on the living room floor, defecate on the premises and drink the contents of a wet-dry vacuum cleaner before he finally succumbed to a police taser.

Tony and LaDonna Land discovered a bloke atop their North Fort Myers home at 7pm. The intruder jumped from the roof, in the process knocking down Mr Land, rushed into the living room and "broke a 72-inch big-screen TV while he tried to pull it off the wall and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor", according to a police report.

Mrs Land whipped out a .38 and fired three shots, which hit the wall. It's alleged the intruder responded by dropping to the floor and masturbating, before running to the couple's son's bedroom where he "began rubbing his face with clothing".

Mr Land grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun and advised the young man to "lay down, motherfucker, lay down" while cops rushed to the scene. The furious dad told the 911 operator: "He’s laying on my floor. He run in my fucking house naked, hooting and hollering and tearing shit up."

Officers arrived to find the suspect "flailing around on the floor and not making any sense". After he "sucked the water from the spilled vacuum into his mouth and spat it back out", he made several attempts to escape and was tasered into submission.

Police later discovered that someone had "defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence", this report explains. Docs at nearby Lee Memorial Hospital weren't immediately able to identify what fuelled the rampage.

• Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, faces charges of "two counts of criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting without violence", allegedly committed last Monday. ®