Original URL: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/06/08/kebab_prang/
Rogue kebab provokes Carlisle post-pub car deathmatch
Booze + dropped doner = prang
A Carlisle building labourer has been relieved of his driving licence for 27 months after a drunken kebab retrieval manoeuvre ended with him piling his car into a stationary vehicle.
Colin Watson, 27, left the house he shares with his parents on 18 May, following a row with mum and dad. According to the Telegraph, he drove to the Border Rambler boozer in the city centre and quaffed six pints, before offering a chum a lift home.
As is the local custom, the pair first went in search of post-pub nourishment, driving to a kebab outlet outside Carlisle. At this point Watson "realised he was too drunk to drive", but instead of ditching the car, he decided to head back into the city to grab a cab.
Defending Watson in Carlisle Magistrates Court, Geoff Clapp explained: "He realised he had had too much to drink to drive home and was turning back when, unfortunately, the kebab, which was on the dashboard, fell on the floor."
As Watson bent down to rescue the nosh, he booked himself a date before the beak.
Paul Gibson, prosecuting, told the court: "A woman was in her car, which was stationary, talking to a friend she had dropped off. All of a sudden she heard a loud bang and the car jolted forward."
Both women walked from the kebab-prompted prang without injury, although the car on the receiving end suffered a dented rear wheel arch and flat tyre. The fate of the kebab is unknown.
District Judge Gerald Chalk disqualified Watson for 27 months and slapped him with a 12-month community order, obliging him to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work. ®