Original URL: https://www.theregister.com/2011/10/18/pizza_drinker/
Man 'drinks 2 pizzas' before skidding off road
Kentucky fried brains
Posted in Bootnotes, 18th October 2011 13:15 GMT
A Kentucky man is facing drugs charges after driving into a ditch before telling officers he'd "drunk too much pizza" for lunch.
Officers were called to the intersection of La Costa Road and Stonybrook Drive in Louisville on Saturday to investigate a vehicle which had found its way into a ditch.
Local news outfit WLKY reports that they arrived to find the driver Donn Adams, 68, talking to an off-duty cop.
Adams appeared confused and disoriented, the cops reported. The accidental off-roader appeared to be particularly concerned to be in such a predicament, despite having only had "two pizzas to drink" for lunch.
The cops reportedly asked Adams if he was under the influence of drugs, which he denied, before adding that he did take Suboxone to treat his opiate addiction. The opiate substitute is also known as Stops, Stop signs, Subs, and puzzlingly, Texas Toast.
A subsequent search turned up two syringes of what the officers believed to be heroin. Adams said he believed an absent-minded friend had left the syringes in his car.
Adams has been charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. Which we assume covers the alleged heroin-filled spikes rather the drink-able pizza. ®