Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/09/02/ohio_incident/
Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft
Pink, bouncy victim abducted in back-alley tryst
The grandmother of an Ohio man with a serious penchant for plastic has suggested her grandson needs urgent help after he was cuffed earlier this week for engaging in "sexual activity" with a pink inflatable swimming pool raft.
Edwin Charles Tobergta, 32, had already been arrested five times on public indecency charges when cops slapped on the bracelets after he was spotted getting down and dirty with the inflatable in Harmon, roughly 20 miles south of Akron.
The owner of the raft clocked Tobergta in an alleyway having his evil way with the pink pool accessory, and shouted at him to knock it off, at which point the perp took to his heels, taking his synthetic lover with him.
Cops finally caught up with him at his home, where he "admitted to the crime and begged for help", according to the police report.
The rap sheet explains: "Defendant advised officers that he was doing it but only because he has a problem and that he needs help and please don't send him to prison but send him somewhere to get help."
The plastic lover's gran, Linda Tobergta, claimed the poor bloke is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder, and that the family's attempts to get him treatment had come to nothing. She said: "He has a lot of mental problems and he's always had a fascination for plastic. That's just it. That's all of it. We never could get the proper care for Edwin. It's like nobody cares."
Regular readers will note with interest that this is the second time we've been able to deploy the "Ohio man cuffed for shagging [insert object]" headline formula. Back in 2008, another Ohio man was cuffed for shagging a picnic table. ®
Thanks to Pat Coughlin for the tip-off.