Original URL: https://www.theregister.com/2009/11/10/cambridge_cougars_not_very/

Cambridge Uni cheerleaders in naming FAIL

'Cougars' not old, not very foxy, sometimes not female

By Lewis Page

Posted in Bootnotes, 10th November 2009 09:02 GMT

Cambridge University students have indicated that they may, as is commonly believed, be a trifle out of touch with the mainstream of modern life. It appears that the uni's cheerleading team is known as the "Cambridge Cougars", despite the fact that its members are neither especially attractive nor old - and several are not even women.

The team were reported on Monday (for some reason not made readily apparent) by the Telegraph, thus obtruding themselves on the Reg news team's consciousness for the first time despite having apparently been around for three years or so.

The Telegraph subhead refers, beautifully, to the Cougars as "Cambridge University's first cheerleading squad in 800 years". There's a pic, entirely SFW and perfectly safe even for elderly gentlemen with dodgy tickers and highly susceptible to feminine charms - if you catch our drift.

It seems that the 45-member team, in a break with tradition, includes "four male students who prove handy for tossing the girls high into the air". The squad has covered itself with glory in its brief history, topping the "Second Division British National Open Champions at the International Cheerleading Coalition" and coming third in the "BCA University Championships Co-Educational Cheer Division 2". Apparently the Cougars were also second in the "Co-Educational Group Stunt" event, which is probably not as saucy as it sounds.

The inferior further-learning establishment located in the picturesque old marmalade-making town of Oxford has had a cheerleading squad for much longer. They were national champions this year, but again seem to have suffered a minor fail when naming themselves. The Oxford team are the "Sirens", signifying a group of feminine singers to be sure - but one that any sensible man will always take care to block out by the use of wax plugs in his ears, as listening to them means certain death.

Anyway, the Sirens' superior ratings from the BCA judges would seem to have added a new twist to the old adage: Cambridge for scholarship, Oxford for marmalade cheerleading. ®