Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/01/20/comments/

Alcohol where the sun doesn't shine, and nanotubes darker than that

Long legs and friendly bums appreciated

By Robin Lettice

Posted in Letters, 20th January 2008 01:10 GMT

Comments Polish limb boffins have concluded that 'perfect' legs are 5 per cent longer than average. They had volunteers rate silhouettes according to attractiveness, and found that a bit of legginess went a long way. Unfortunately for the lanky among us, however, limbs 10 per cent longer than average were considered even less attractive than run-of-the-mill legs. Kylie was inevitably trotted out as an example of top celebrity leg.

Pull the other one

Peter


Kylie's popularity amongst men IMHO has less to do with the length of her legs than with her propensity to do entire dance sequences in her underwear.

Eddie Edwards


Who paid for this, and WHY?

Can I get a grant to find the perfect breast please?

Paul


These were just silhouettes? I'm not sure I'd be interested enough to really evaluate the choices properly.. At the very least, pictures of the whole 'package' would make a better survey. Best of course would be an actual visual 'measurement' encounter, but where to find an obliging set of body doubles*??? Icon self-explanatory

What about artists's models? They are used to posing nude in front of audiences, and (probably) would not mind being judged this way...

Chris Bradshaw


So, if "fat bottom girls make the rocking world go round" does that mean fat bottom girls have longer than average legs? Mind you this was sung by someone who wasn't famous for liking girls......

Matt


Once a topic has been researched, follow up reseach is essencial to confirm or deny the earlier results, in this instance might I suggest lots and lots of follow up research... Oh, and may I put myself forward for one of these prestigeous testing posts when the next round of leg/breast research is being conducted?

Ah... now then AnonCow, just for the record, "I have no preference for the left leg, or for the right leg, but somewhere inbetween".

And finally, I seem to remember reading someplace that the ideal length for a pair of legs is, "long enough to reach the ground".

Now then, where's my CAMELskin coat?

Slaine


But if you're unfortunate enough not to have perfect legs, an agreeable tush could get you a long way. You'd certainly be in the running for a job as a 'healthcare informaticist', which calls for "a friendly posterior". Nail the interview and you could get your hands on a "generous package", provided of course that you have "2-3 yrs experience under your belt".

this shold be in "bootynotes"

Mark


There's a guy in our office whose arse is very anti-social today.

We've nearly run out of air freshener and may have to start spraying pledge around to cover the smell.

Paris [icon] due to her allegedly friendly arse...

Alan Gregson


Sounds like a bum job to me. A quick search revealed this:

"As the position of Clinical Informaticist is relatively new, there is no specific training required by a governing or licensing body. Rather each hospital or research facility sets the requirements within their research or Management Information Systems team. "

Maybe it's a job for the Hospital Administrator's or Chief Consultant's mistress and salary may depend on how friendly her posterior is.

Anonymous Coward


You other brothers can't deny they like sociable posteriors and they cannot lie.

Anonymous Coward

But to break the flow of leg and bum discourse, we received some stellar comments on antimatter, neutron stars and black holes:

If you RTFA, it seems at bottom to be about nothing much at all: an asymmetry in the positron distribution is alleged to correspond to "a region in which there are believed to be a lot of binary star systems containing neutron stars or the even more outrageous black holes". But binaries, neutron stars (and black holes, of course) are supposed to be everywhere - what is the (statistical) strength of the alleged correlation? Is someone staking a pole in the ground here, or merely waving a flag about as a warning-off to others? This in turn seems to be nothing more than the astronomical equivalent of seeing a white patch in the sky and deciding to call it "fog".

Entertaining as all the shed-loads of speculations riding on top of that might be to Reg (not to mention Nature) readers, it is entertainment that costs serious money. Ignoring that every man, woman and child in the UK is now effectively invoiced for £1000+ over Northern Rock, it is not even remotely gladiatorial fun - and the Romans didn't go to the Colliseum to see a vocal contest between crowds of gladiators' supporters. That is simply not distracting enough.

There are no black holes. They are a fuck up of the mathematics. http://www.geocities.com/theometria/index.html.

Facts of observation need explanation - not an ever-burgeoning totem pole of figments of the imagination, each mythic ancestor propitiated with offerings from the faithful, and demonstrating its fertility by sprouting a hierarchy of ever more fabulous progeny, all imbuded with previously unsuspected magical powers.

This is what advancement in scientific theories has come to - not the power to explain a broader domain of facts, but power pure and simple, power as dominion, power reified and made anthropomorphic. My black hole trumps your neutron star - the pot is mine. (My "field" is bigger than your "field". My "forces" are stronger than yours. We imagine science is purely descriptive, but the centrifugal attraction of figurative language lures ever Siren-like). Ultimately another conflation of synechdoche with metonymy. Yet it curiously mirrors inverted many other features of society.

The causes of black holes are on this planet, and are growing more potent and threatening. We need an invasion of Tim Burtons.

Luther Blissett


Less than 24 hours after El Reg reports an obscure cosmological discovery, 50 comments have been posted grappling with the possible explanations. Many of these are from people who seriously know what they are talking about. Several comments contain very good short descriptions of Hawking radiation and how it can lead to the "evaporation" of black holes, and speculating about mechanisms which might, just, explain how a black hole might spew out a cloud of anti-protons.

OK, a few made mistakes. A few thought that anti-matter behaves differently to "normal" matter under gravity, for example, but this was soon corrected in the debate.

This is what science is all about. We might never know "the truth" but we can get closer and closer to it with better and better theories, by debate based upon observed evidence (Popper!).

Peter Mellor


>> We might never know "the truth" but we can get closer and closer to it with better and better theories, by debate based upon observed evidence (Popper!).

Slick use of quotes.

Because without them the truth of that statement is unknowable, except by assuming that Popper! was a God-who-Never-Lied (the evidence for this is underwhelming). It would also be tautological - truth is the product of better theories, but better theories are merely those which produce better truth. Round is nice for wheels, but circular reasoning is not much use in finding out what is really true, or what is really a better theory. In terms of social praxis (aka following the money), it implies "just keep on with the funding, and we'll find the bastard one day - right now we need a bigger telescope/cyclotron/office/remuneration package to do that". Shades of the hunt for OB-L there. Perhaps a telescope/etc big enough to let us read the labels on energy packets, then we can all unambiguously distinguish Hawking radiation from the fake designer goods (e.g. the radiations the Alien Greys are pumping at us from their orbiting spaceships)? So those quote marks are disingenuous - tantamount to admitting that science funding is a racket played on the public.

OTOH they really should be around "closer", don't you think. Does "closer" mean we will not know that we've got to the truth until like we're on top of it, perhaps having just fallen over it and sprawling (in agony or in ecstasy)? As I said figuratively, resort to figurative meanings to justify science makes the activity indistinguishable from that which say promotes totem pole enlargement (literally or figuratively) because they would then be so much closer to the Spirit in the Sky - or of course to those Alien Greys. But people with less curiosity about the natural world but with the same values of self-adulation have already mapped that semiotic structure onto their own bodies - and the surgeons are standing by. (In Rome wannabe PHs boast that Daddy has promised to pay for a boob job if they pass their exams). And natural scientists still wonder why they have trouble getting their message across...?

Not enough competition, one suspects. It's time to spread physics funding wider. And ensure the research can get published. And is made accessible. As for "getting the message across", forget your PhD in physics, this is the Media-Information Complex you're fishing in now.

Luther Blissett

US researchers have developed the true new black, a material so dark it absorbs more than 99.9 per cent of visible light. They plan to test it in the infrared and ultraviolet spectrums as well. You were full of ideas for how to use such a substance:

Coat a diamond with it and you have the heart of a banking executive...

Anonymous Coward


As in night camo suits ? Just wondering, but if this is really that black, then being a nice gaping black hole under the moon is not exactly what I would call stealthy.

On the other hand, it could be a very good coating for weapons - keep moonshine or streetlight from gleaming on the barrels.

Pascal Monett


How about covering a Lamborghini with it? What would that much material cost, and how much would some rich mid-life crisis victim (Jezza Clarkson) pay for "the blackest supercar ... in the world"? (You can just hear him saying it, can't you?) If they go on to show it absorbs radar frequencies too, it's both practical and fashionable.

Anonymous Coward


Photo here! It was a challenge sneaking in for the pic, and I could only get a glimpse of a tiny spot, but here it is:-

JonB


I'd like a floormat made of this, that way people walking up to my house would think twice. On a nice bright sunny day, there is this 2 dimensional looking black.... no texture, no reflection... no contrast... just black.

Bounty


I'm going to paint holes in the sidewalk.

Kevin McMurtrie


The Darwin Awards have been announced, and 2007's winner was a man accustomed to getting drunk on alcohol enemas. Forced by medical problems to pursue this unusual route to intoxication, Texan Michael Jean had got friendly with two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry one night. The following morning he was dead from alcohol poisoning, with a blood alcohol level of 0.47 per cent - six times the legal limit in Texas.

Interesting way to bypass the biological security of the stomach, which is likely to reject (well, apart from the very trained) any big abuses, and use a mean also used for urgent medication.

"A hell of a party" LOL

Anonymous Coward


I think that all us IT bunnies demand to know what laptop would still be working fine after being involved in a head-on crash.

Most models that I have used start playing up if you so much as look at them sternly!

GettinSadda


For anyone planning trying this - if you're going to use Grolsch or Champagne, might I advise you to decant it into something else first. Otherwise you're in for a world of hurt.

lansalot


What else can be said but "bottoms up!"

Anonymous Coward


Re: sex on a pyramid-shaped metal roof

So, coming and going at the same time

Paul


"If being 6 times over killed him, he wasn't much of a drinker!"

Maybe the 8 bags of peanuts and the doner kebab that his wife also shoved 'up there' were contributing factors?

Anonymous Coward


And finally...

"Here's mud in your eye!"

The brown overcoat, thanks.

Sam

There's a party in his ass and everyone's invited. ®