Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/19/comments/
Leprechaun steals Gandalf's trousers, is offered starring role in The Hobbit
While Microsoft invades your brain
Comments Microsoft has announced its intention to try to read our minds. Saying it wants to better understand human-computer interaction, the mega-corporation has filed a patent for a psychic alternative to those irritating surveys no one likes. You were full of dystopian predictions:
It looks like you're trying to compose a thought. Would you like me to think it for you?
I've got the good fortune to be trialing one of these devices! I must say its absolutly astonishing, to have the abilility to actually 'see' the words you are visualising takes a little, whats that out the window? time to master but it really is quite an, bloody salad for lunch! who eats salad for lunch? improvement over the traditional button bashing. In fact its quite a revelation, I can see this being the launchpad for a whole raft of exciting tech developments, things get real weird when you access your gmail!
I'll keep you all, I must have a shit, up to date with my progress!
As long as they don't put a feedback mechanism in - I'd hate to get electrocuted just for thinking about Linux.
Perhaps AmanFromMars has been trialling this... NOW it all makes sense!!!
Not quite. amanfromMars wrote the software. Still want to try it?
A Pennsylvania housewife was charged on Thursday with disorderly conduct after she swore at a toilet and a police officer, though only the policeman pressed charges. Dawn Herb had been attempting to restrain her overflowing commode when the officer took exception to her potty mouth. You thought it was all a bit silly:
Well, the shit will hit the fan if she goes down the crapper.
Would this be a graded system, or is saying 'fish mitten' as bad as saying 'cunt'? Do the natives of Scrotum have to wander round with comedy horns to honk when they trip over paving slabs or catch their fingers in doors?
"intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm"
Is that because she has no private convenience as its blocked up?
And what, exactly, did the opinion of a director of public safety bring
to that discussion? Was the toliet overflowing *that* badly? If so a
few 4-letter words would seem to be the least of his problems...
She should sue the cop on the basis that he must be a pervert to be hanging around outside her bathroom window and invading her privacy in the first place. Was he just listening or was he trying to cop an eyeful? :-)
Sir Ian McKellen has expressed an interest in reprising his role of Gandalf in the upcoming Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. With Peter Jackson gone from the helm, it's no longer certain Sir Ian will be cast, but he thinks it's "very likely".
Is there anything to prevent him from being Gandalf in his own time? Does he sometimes don the costume when he goes out to the shops, or if he feels the need to perform acts of goodness? We should be told.
Never mind Paris Hilton where's the "Arwen in panties" angle?
The IT angle is obvious: only geeks, nerds and sysadmins can bear to read or watch Tolkien's risible faux-saga.
Any literate adult should regard LOTR - book and film both - as ludicrous, overblown and boring (even though many of us have sat through it for our kids' entertainment).
Who gives a flying fuck whether it's McKellen or Roy 'Chubby' Brown playing Gandalf? The news that we are to be fed yet more of this interminable meretricious tosh on celluloid should fill every right-thinking person with despair.
Tolkien should've stuck to what he was being paid for instead of wasting Oxford university's money scribbling puerile drivel about furry-footed ingenues and eldritch villains. (And bloody CS Lewis was little better IMO.)
The young Bilbo? Erm, it's me. I'm going to put my knees in my shoes and my feet up my arse and waddle around a bit. "Coo! What's that? Could it be a ring? Oh - so it is! Well fancy that!", and so forth.
It's got to be a Musical. Thats what Bilbo Baggans Hates!
A Cincinnati man, caught sans trousers in a car by its owner, has put the blame on a cheeky leprechaun. The diminutive paddy allegedly let the accused into the vehicle, and is presumably still at, er, large. The story received near-instant corroboration:
As a Cincinnati resident I'm fairly certain that leprechauns were indeed egging him on. Lousy little buggers are everywhere around here. No pots of gold though, we got the cheap ones.
I work in Cincy but live across the river, and I can verify their existance. They are poor kind and usually have a sign asking for my spare change.
If I was a leprechaun I'd definitely spend my free time luring people into cars that didn't belong to them. Then I'd phone the police and report them. Has anyone reported seeing a small Irishman in the court room, pissing himself laughing?
Ahh the the aul leprechaun made me do it excuse, that's got me out of many a problem
I think that goes for all of us. There are presumably many pissed-off leprechauns, sick of being blamed for our indiscretions, who seek revenge by stealing our keys, watches and one sock from each pair. Let's hope they don't escalate things. ®