Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/06/29/comments/
Children fight back against RIAA, take over Mensa
While Blighty faces new Armada
Comments Science, smarts and children seem to dominate this week. We hope you all had the smarts to avoid the following occupations. Noted science red-top Popular Science has published a list of the ten worst jobs in science. "Microsoft Security Grunt" made number five, but you had your own suggestions:
I wonder where body recovery diver and crime scene cleanup finished.
I knew someone who did circumcisions on elephants.
He said the money was poor but the tips were huge.....
Retirement Home Tech Support. Had a friend that did that for a living. Of all the IT folks I've ever known, he definately had the best stories to tell.
Ever try to dig denture-paste out of a keyboard?
"Hazmat divers, while highly qualified, don't normally think of themselves as being involved in scientific endeavour"
Of course not. They only go through the motions.
Did you hear about the wallet made from elephant foreskin?
Stroke it, and it morphs into a suitcase.
Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: With four skin divers.
The government will publish science curriculum guidelines for schools, and has stated that creationism and intelligent design have no part in the teaching of science. Many of you greeted the announcement with satisfaction:
A good, clear decision from the Government.
Now they should take it to the next logical step, and remove religious schools from the state system. State funds should not be used to promote one religion over another. If parents want that, they can pay for it themselves in a private school.
Seriously, about time. Now we just need Bush to get out of office so the US can follow suit and we won't be poisoning the minds of our youth with this propaganda BS. There is plenty of other propaganda BS to fill their minds with!
Nice to know that the Brits still have it when it comes to facing facts, but as long as the backwaters of southern USA harbor a strong level of scientific talibanism, I think that creationism will continue to be a nuisance in many a school curriculum discussion.
The only danger to civilisation is ignorance, the only cure is proper education. We need to educate better, and more, before the idiots take complete control.
But then a dissenting voice spoke up:
So science has ruled out the possibility of intelligent design or has it? Math is said to be the language of science, especially used in chemistry, physics, astronomy, etc. Once you can prove a fact is not correct *then* you may dismiss it.
We assume intelligent design is false, a higher power cannot exist? Why not? Couldn’t a higher intelligence have sculpted the “big bang”, evolution, etc. etc. well...yes.
Descartes a famous mathematician tried to prove what existed and what didn’t. First he proved he existed (cogito ergo sum) even if he was just an intelligence imagining the world and everything in it. Next he set out to prove or disprove everything else existed. Sadly he failed, everything could be fake, like a dream.
If it can’t even be proven that the screen you are reading this on exists (which I think it does) what is the point of dismissing intelligent design? Science may think it has eliminated I.D. as a possibility by *vote*, but mathematics cannot yet as math *is* truth.
Where do I stand? I am a true scientist refusing to dismiss anything (as offensive as it may be to me or others) until completely proven to be false. Thus I believe in a higher power and in teaching *all* possibilities of our existence in schools. QED
Cue a bit of a dog-pile. Or maybe a god-pile. Regardless, head thatwaywards for the fallout.
Egg-heads at Mensa, doubtless anxious to appear hip and trendy, have drafted in a youthful new brain. In our opinion, kids should stay away from cogitating and stick to gun-slinging. It's far more wholesome.
[Georgia and Steven Hawking have a lot in common.] Both wear nappies, both need help with doors, both have trouble with stairs, in fact both are completely dependant on adult care. Only Hawking can complain about it though... the words "Make-sure-you-wipe-prop-er-ly-this-time. I-itched-all-last-night."
Not very impressive. IQ scores are relative to your age; a score of 100 means you have then mean intelligence quotient for someone your age. A score of 152 means you have the intelligence of someone half as old as you again - in this case 3 years old.
I don't think we'll see any breakthroughs in cold fusion from this kid any time soon ...
"The Hampshire wunderkind could have scored even higher on the test – except after 45 minutes of answering questions she needed her nap."
Yup - that happened to me too!! sigh
Call that reporting? a two year old could write a better story than that.
Posting anonymously won't save you, bub. You are hereby banned from reading the Reg for the next five minutes. May you learn your lesson.
An American mum has filed suit against the Recording Industry Ass. of America, claiming that the organisation attempted to strong-arm her into dropping a previous challenge by threatening her 10-year-old daughter. As usual, the RIAA drew your scorn:
I really like her suing under RICO. She can recover tons in damages and get some serious restraints placed on them.
Good to know someone has the guts to stand up to the self-appointed Gestapo/KGB of the RIAA. This is nothing more than a totally unjust & undemocratic cartel of vested interests. To trample over the rights of an individual and to indulge in illegal practises in an attempt to frighten someone into submission (You're guilty 'cos we reckon so) is just another indication of the state US Justice has got into under Bush. Self-appointed forces giving themselves draconian powers need stepping on - very firmly and very quickly.
eventually, this will all fade out. It has been very quiet for a while with all of the DRM coming out. The RIAA just needs to tell their clients it is their own fault they were 1) Very late to the mp3 party 2) could not figure out a way to sell songs online quick enough 3) said that "digital music" would never be a big thing 4) and most importantly...being tracked and/or sued by the RIAA does not make me want to run out an buy cd. Nothing political about this just corporate machine stupidness.
I was interested to see that you referred to the RIAA as the Recording Industry Ass. of America". I think you should remove the full stop as it makes it look like 'ass' is an abbreviation of 'association'...
We apologise for any confusion caused.
And finally, a ghastly flotilla of ghostly ducky flotsam is set to attempt a landing on the fair shores of Blighty. We shall fight them on the beaches, in the paddling pools and bathtubs. We shall flog them on eBay...
The ducks may be a bit brittle now.. however recently found "sun bleached beaver" from the same shipment has been discovered in the states....
You are of course ducking the real issue in that because of freezing the ducktile nature of the plastic has now been degraded. If you had conduckted proper research you would also have found that these ducks are highly prized by bus, train and orchestra conducktors as lucky charms – much like a rabbit’s foot. In addition, after being melted down, they are also finding their way into heating systems to replace standard metal duckting...
Perhaps this will be Gordon Brown's first big immigration scandal. At least they'll know where to repatriate them to.
About the same time as the duck episode a container of nike running shoes washed into the Pacific off the coast of Vancouver Island. Islanders being the frugal folk they are began to collect the sneakers as they washed ashore. Initially trades were made ad hoc to match up shoe sizes but the process was awkward. Off to the side of a dirt road on the way to isolated logging and fishing villages near to where the most part of the lost shipment washed up a few islanders began to leave odd shoes at the base of an ancient cedar tree. The idea caught on and the tree became a repository for the sneakers. After all possible matchings had taken place the left over shoes were nailed to the tree trunk. The sneakers cover the tree trunk the full circumference to the tree to a height of about 10 feet. It's the Shoe Tree to natives. To uninformed tourists it's an enigma wrapped in a mystery.
I'm sure this invasion is something those Cornish "freedom fighters" the CNLA (aka, the "Oooh-Arr-Aaay") will not put up with. It doesn't look good, does it, if they allow all these incomers to simply wash up on their beaches, un-challenged ? Next thing you know, they'll be drinking their cider, riding their tractors and romancing their women. And we all know where that type of activity will end...
I advise the CNLA to appropriate a job lot of canes with little hooks on (possibly from a travelling circus, just before they set fire to it for "coming roun' 'ere, entertaining our children" etc) and wade out to take the invasion head-on !
Operation Sealion had nothing on the synthetic anatidaen menace. Be warned, and be armed. Play some Duck Hunt to prepare yourselves. The reckoning is coming. ®