Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/04/28/magic_key/

Magic key to reveal future UK lottery numbers

Astounding eBay offer

By Lester Haines

Posted in Bootnotes, 28th April 2006 14:46 GMT

This has got to be worth a tenner of anybody's money: a Magic key which will reveal future UK lottery winning numbers:

That magic key auction in full

Quite remarkable. Let's get one thing straight, though: this is not just an an old Peugeot key. Oh no. Here's the story:

As I sat upon the patio chair of great discomfort, resting, contemplating my beer belly and musing upon the terrible journey I had just completed, from the dread wastes of High Wycombe via the road of the dead, known to some as the M40, forced to crawl at stages through the blasted regions infested with red and white cone-shaped wraiths, where no man ever walks or toils, yet always the dark powers observe thee, I pondered my fate and wondered what had become of me. Lo! A vision appeared before me, and it was the Buddha of the trampoline. Offering me great gifts in exchange for food, I agreed, and gave the great Buddha fish fingers, chips and beans. In return, the great Buddha of the trampoline gave me a wondrous prize, the key to a magic box which contains all the numbers of the winning lottery tickets to come. Laughing and burping, the Buddha bounded from the trampoline to get her sacred can of Fanta, saying "Ha! but the way is hard, and knowest thou not where the box is, but I will leave thee these tools, which thou will need to find the box." I am not stout of heart, nor fleet of foot, and have not the will to search and fight for the magic Lottery box, and thus I decided to sell them to the most worthy bidder. All the magic items are listed below, and may Ged forgive me for my weakness.

Very silly, and entirely worthy of a Friday afternoon. We wish the stout-hearted, fleet-footed winner of this auction the best of lucky in locating the magic Lottery box. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to John List for the magic tip-off.