Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01/04/strategy_boutique_speak/

Strategy Boutiques: click here for instant bullshit

Incubate mission-critical users

By Lester Haines

Posted in Bootnotes, 4th January 2006 15:35 GMT

Regular readers will know that we at El Reg do like a bit of Strategy Boutique speak: the kind of incomprehensible drivel which emanates from rooms filled with joss-stick smoke and whalesong as the marketing boys work themselves up into a Powerpoint-driven frenzy of obfuscatory jargon.

We're delighted, then, to point fellow aficionados in the direction of dack.com's Web Economy Bullshit Generator, which will generate mission-critical, real-time bullshit thereby cutting the time between envisionment and service delivery by up to 36 per cent.

Actually, it's just a bit of good, clean fun to fill a couple of dull minutes at work, and those of you who've ever seen a Daily Mail headline emulator ("Did dole-scrounging Albanians kill Lady Di?" and so forth) will be familiar with the concept.

So, we invite you to expedite best-of-breed e-services, transition distributed synergies and evolve visionary schemas. Lovely. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to reader Richard W. Jones for the whalesong-enhanced tip. Strategy Boutique fans be aware that the cross-platform vortal iterating t-shirt of the Powerpoint presentation is available down at Cash'n'Carrion for a mere £14.99 inc VAT.