Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/04/21/man_executes_chrysler/

Man executes Chrysler

Reg salutes NRA hero

By Lester Haines

Posted in Science, 21st April 2005 14:18 GMT

RoTM™ Newsflash Those readers who have written over the last couple of weeks to demand an update on the latest position regarding the Rise of the Machines™ should rest assured that tomorrow will see a new exposé on the burgeoning technical uprising which is so chilling that the text has been written in three separate parts by a trio of hacks working in isolation lest exposure to the full draft provoke a terminal traumatic stress incident.

In the meantime, members of the neoLuddite Resistance Army who have been following the chilling saga of murderous automobiles - including mephistopholean Renault Lagunas and break-dancing Citroens - are invited to raise their glasses to 64-year-old John McGivney who pulled a piece on his cantankerous Chrysler in Fort Lauderdale and pumped the Devil's machine full of lead.

Neighbours, clearly unaware of the great service McGivney was performing for future generations, duly called the police who slapped the cuffs on the NRA hero. When asked why he had put five .380 semiautomatic rounds into the Chrysler, McGivney replied: "I'm putting my car out of its misery."

After a short spell in the cells, a bailed and unrepentant McGivney declared: "I think every guy in the universe has wanted to do it. It was worth every damn minute in that jail."

Sir, we salute you. ®

The Rise of the Machines™

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