Original URL: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/10/05/fotw/

Reg writer receives right royal rogering

'What unadulterated bollocks'

By Lester Haines

Posted in Letters, 5th October 2004 10:40 GMT

FoTW We at El Reg have a general rule regarding flames that they should be completely incoherent outbursts of rage acccompanied by steam venting from ears. In this case, however, the correspondent seems to have gone to some trouble to present a sarky critique of the piece in question - Sex toy creates Oz airport pandemonium.

Naturally, this being a flame, it thereafter degenerates into steam-driven apoplexy. A truly class offering:

A rampant presumption in The Register caused pandemonium after readers noticed crap written in a suspicous manner, Phil Clarke reports.

Phil said: "It was rather disconcerting when the crap was put to the web. We called the pedant brigade and next minute everybody was being evacuated while they checked it out."

It was only after an hour (or several) that journalists declared the offending item nothing more than a "piece of sloppy writing gone mad". It is not reported whether the sub-editors attempted to apprehend the person responsible for wreaking havoc with readers' schedules. Presumably, they simply had to look for a smug and sanctimonious-looking journalist among the screaming, terrorised readers.

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Seriously, though: what unadulterated bollocks. Fair enough, I see, you took journalistic liberties here (and there) but why the fuck you do have to bring your rampant homo-phobic tendancies to the general readership? "Presumably" you think that only women like sex toys. "Presumably" everyone who uses a sex toy does so so that they have a fucking great big obvious-to-everyone-smile on their (evidently female-looking) face. "Presumably" you're a raving faggot who likes to shove vibrating things up your accommodating arse, but then, "presumably" you're a "journalist" of the highest integrity and one who doesn't want your readers to be discouraged by the fact that there's nothing better you like that taking a black mamba nine inches up the old rectum.

After all, there's never been a case of sensentionalism surrounding someone in your office who likes to get dressed up in fairy-godmother outift whilst licking whipped cream off a shaved canine belly, has there?

Next time, please don't sink to the writing level of news.bbc.com.

Phil Clarke