Olympic no-hopers immortalised online
Abject losers crowned with laurel
There's nothing we Brits like more than a gallant loser and El Reg is delighted to report that those athletes who crawled exhausted from Athens' Olympic arena clutching a wooden spoon between their teeth have been immortalised online.
Yes, if you fancy celebrating "Brunei Darussalam, whose single athlete finished last in his single event", then jog gently down to DFL - a blog created by Canadian Jonathan Crowe and dedicated to ensuring that even the most underachieving athlete can have his or her moment of sporting glory.
Like Fumilay Fonseca of São Tomé and Príncipe, bless her, who finished 52nd in the Women's 20-km walk with a time of 2:04:54, which was 35:42 behind the winner and about 15 minutes behind the next-to-last finisher. As DFL notes: "Three walkers did not finish and two were disqualified, presumably for breaking into a run." Quite so.
Or what about Margit Appelt of Austria, who came 68th in the individual equestrian eventing with 271.80 penalty points, whereas the winner finished with only 41.60 points? A world-class performance.
And let's not forget Ireland's Sonia O'Sullivan, who finished her 5,000 metres "14th with a time of 16:20.90, more than a minute behind the next-to-last finisher and about 95 seconds behind the leader".
Of course, it's easy to sit in front of the TV with a beer and a bucket of chicken wings and mock these brave combatants' efforts. DFL's strapline sums it all up quite nicely: "Celebrating last-place finishes at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens. Because they're there, and you're not." Absolutely. Olympian anti-heroes, we salute you. ®
What does DFL stand for? Well, "The D stands for 'dead', the L stands for 'last', and the F is obvious", explains the author. ®