Original URL: https://www.theregister.com/2002/03/04/use_windows_to_turn_your/

Use Windows to ‘turn your PC into a love machine’

No, really, Visio is sexy...

By John Lettice

Posted in Bootnotes, 4th March 2002 16:43 GMT

The Register was until minutes ago entirely unaware that the Sun newspaper had even been running a ten part guide to building your own PC, far less that it completed it today. But after a tip-off from a Microsoft spinmeister who wishes to remain anonymous, but says it wasn't his idea anyway, honest, we feel the need to bring part ten to your attention.

"Turn your PC into a love machine," it screams above a picture of Leilani and Nikkala, who apparently "know exactly what turns PC users on." The lasses, appropriately dressed for dealing with a few racks of P4s in a server room whose cooling system has failed, pout fetchingly over a line of software boxes. Of which more anon.

As the shameless Sun techies write: "Even the luscious Leilani and naughty Nikkala, our top Page 3 models, couldn't wait to get their hands on it... And they know a thing or two about getting fellas fumbling for their zip... drive... So if you missed out on Valentine's Day because you were too busy trying to work out where to slot your hard disk, here's a chance to make up for it."

But what is it, you ask? Or indeed, where is it? It is of course, a competition. For software. Microsoft software. Two "pulling packs" (the Sun's, or Microsoft UK's, words - the sun accuses MS UK) of six packages, and one of the two packs has been signed by Leilani and Nikkala. There is much more desperate stuff in the descriptions of the particular packages, but the heroic attempt to relate Visio 2002 to Valentine's Day (no, we don't know why either) particularly took our fancy: "Visio 2002 - When you finally get your date back to your flat you need to make sure everything is in place for the perfect romantic evening. So use Microsoft's diagramming and graphics tools to plot the position of your stereo to give the perfect mood music and the drinks cabinet to serve the all important nightcap."

Much more similar guff, pictures of girls in swimsuits and competition entry details can be found here. Microsoft pays good money for classy PR like this, you know... ®