[We explained to you all that since we had ordered so much new merchandising stock that we ruined our cash flow. If none of you bought any of it, we realised we'd have to throw Lucy out on her ear. We got a photo of her as she was told the news. Far from being sympathetic to the soon-to-be-broke Lucy though, the mere sight of a woman was enough to send you into a frenzy. We're ordering some bromide for you next week.]

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I don't really need any t-shirts at the moment, but would a date with the beautiful Lucy be possible? I'm a really fun guy, I'm not a psycho, stalker, murderer, rapist, arsonist, hacker, paedophile, or any other bad things. And I can supply pictures and references if needed...

John

Tough. Kick Lucy out. Then she'll have to come live with me... fwooarh.

Paul Ross

It'd be a horrible shame to see Lucy out on the streets, begging for change, or perhaps selling her charms to lonely, overworked, under-stimulated IT staffers (could one make a speciality of that?)

I would first like to propose that she be put to work setting up the e-commerce service, through which I could more easily help pay her salary! I'm not an expert in the matter, but I do know that most of the spam I get advertises services to help one accept credit cards, so I expect that there are a number of vendors that'd be happy to help.

If that's still not in the cards, please be so kind as to ship her over to the States. Many companies, like mine, would most readily hire any computer literate person with the right skills (ie., respirating!).

Should that still not work out, she can find a very comfortable life as a homeless person in nearby Ann Arbor, where the students are easy pickings, and the liberals fall all over each other funding and building homeless shelters.

Ye Gods, Where does the

find so many lovely ladies? Young Ms. Lucy's way too cute to be surplused... My check's in the mail! <G>

Laird Cummings

If I understand the dilemma correctly, the

has simply overspent a little. So Lucy is the unlucky young lady that will bear the brunt of this error. Well, I may have a solution for you folks there at my favorite news source. I may be able to put together some funds for an emergency purchase.

How much for young Lucy? Depending on her qualifications and demeanor I could find some work for her here in the States. I don't mean to imply slavery": that would be wrong. Indentured servitude, I think our ancestors called it.

Chad Holbrook

Had I known that Lucy was gorgeous, I would have bought stuff a long, long time ago. Now, I have to fork over my credit cards! =)

Nick