Despite our confident prediction that last Thursday would see a 737 plane crash as the kamikaze Chinese and Korean governments tested millennium bug compliance, officials have claimed otherwise. "We hereby declare the aviation systems of Korea and China Y2K-compliant after a successful joint test flight," said Chinese director-general for civil aviation Kim Tschang-sup. According to Kim, their systems, including radar tracking equipment, instrument landing systems and flight information systems, were all fine. Yoon Byung-in, vice president of Asiana Airlines, went further: "This successful joint simulation testing has confirmed that Korea is one of the most Y2K-prepared countries in the world." Well, thank Gawd for that. However, out of stubbornness, we offer the following scenarios:

• There was no date change - where's the documentary evidence?
• The pilots just changed their wrist watches, and nothing happened
• The real planes, elsewhere in the area, crashed and a vast cover-up has ensued (more likely than some Diana or JFK theories)
• The tricky devils used the Far East equivalent to Spitfires, with no electronics on board
• The pilots, fearful of their lives, chickened out, didn't change the clock and then lied to the authorities when they touched down.

It's all academic anyway. There's only a month to go before the hideous truth is laid bare. ®