Original URL: https://www.theregister.com/1998/09/22/larrys_wild_about_most_things/

Larry's wild about… most things

intro

By A special correspondent

Posted in On-Prem, 22nd September 1998 08:39 GMT

Yahoo has been all over the place in the last week and has lost countries, too. Last week, Yahoo lost Israel, Japan and South Korea. There aren't any newspapers according to the famous site, in North Korea, but we're wondering which country will be next...Bulgaria?

A PR deep throat calls with an amusing, and we trust, entirely inaccurate, tale about the status of Oracle's public relations. A few months back thee incumbents in the US were fired in favour of a large, expensive and global PR outfit. Silence descended on the Big O's marketing machine, and Larry Ellison grew crosser and crosser. In what our informant describes puzzlingly as a 'water glass throwing frenzy,' Larry detonated. "Get rid of these guys," he shrieked at his minions. "Hire the old guys again!" The minions duly called up the old guys and said, "OK, you're hired again." Said the old guys, "No we're not. We think you're horrible and we don't want to work for you." Big problem for minions. Larry has spoken, and will brook no opposition. And we need a PR outfit now, as we just fired the new guys. So an embassy is, unbeknownst to Larry, sent to the old guys to beg for mercy. Grievances are listed, undertakings to be much nicer in future are given, bodies fall from Oracle's HQ windows, and the old guys graciously agree to come back. Now the minions just have to stop Larry being nasty to them.