Columnists

BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

Episode 9 Just slap on our custom VR headset, Boss
Simon Travaglia, 15 Jul 09:05

Smartphones aren't tiny PCs, but that's how we use them in the West

In China, they get it, QR codes are like money and mobile payments are everywhere
Mark Pesce, 13 Jul 06:29

You can’t sit there, my IoT desk tells me

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I can’t stand up for falling down
Alistair Dabbs, 08 Jul 09:01

A trip to the Twilight Zone with a support guy called Iron Maiden

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Something weird happened last week
Alistair Dabbs, 01 Jul 09:56

I want to learn about gamification but all I see is same-ification

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Youth culture and the iron-cladding of backsides
Alistair Dabbs, 24 Jun 09:34

BOFH: Follow the paper trail

Episode 8 What are you doing in our stockroom, buddy?
Simon Travaglia, 17 Jun 09:01

Columnist Roll

Verity Stob

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Verity Stob is the pseudonym of a software developer based in London. Since 1988, she has written her "Verity Stob" column for .EXE magazine, Dr. Dobb's Journal and, now, The Register.
Battle for ctrl

Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs

Stob Hurrah! Summer is at last well under way, so how better to pass the weekends than pulling the curtains on the rainscape, lolling on the sofa and inhaling a few dozen hours of downloaded TV? I am aware that such an introduction sets up certain expectations. However, rather than treat you to ill-informed speculation regarding …
Verity Stob, 26 Jul 2016

The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

Stob Editor's Note: Verity Stob's Chronicles of Delphi [King James ed.] began in 1996. The most recent translations can be found here: The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet, here: The Sons of Kahn and the Pascal spring and here: Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha. Now it came to pass the Sons of Kahn, who did dwell …
Verity Stob, 20 May 2016
London bus photo, by Nando Machado Shutterstock

Alice, Bob and Verity, too. Yeah, everybody's got a story, pal

Stob Once there were a million A&B stories on the Naked Web. Now there are a million-and-one. Alice and Bob are two commonly used placeholder names. They are used for archetypal characters in fields such as cryptography, game theory and physics – Wikipedia I had caught the H[redacted] bus heading east (via Turd Park, Central …
Verity Stob, 07 Mar 2016
Book learning, image via Shutterstock

Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

Stob Functional Programming is the great paradigm shift that is sweeping through software development. The object-oriented era of coding is at last drawing to an inevitable and shameful close. We can – and we must! – all join hands and skip gaily into a brave new world, where sloppy state and careless side effects are excised …
Verity Stob, 13 Jan 2016
The existing, human crewed Caterpillar 797B

Health & Safety is the responsibility of Connor's long-suffering girlfriend

Stob Much discussion of health and safety concentrates on the opportunities the discipline affords our little Hitlers to little-Hitle. But when I did some work on an industrial site recently – this is the most relaxing environment to get your head around a mischievous lump of functional JavaScript, by the way, you absolutely must try …
Verity Stob, 16 Mar 2015
Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch) and the Bombe machine

A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Stob Some weeks ago, on the back of superlative-laced recommendatory posts like this one, I took myself off to the Fosse des Puces high art cinema to see The Imitation Game, the new biopic about Alan "Weird Al" Turing starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Now, I am aware that it is not entirely unknown for Hollywood to apply the odd tweak …
Verity Stob, 26 Jan 2015