Columnists

BOFH: Explain? All we need is this kay-sh with DDR3 Cortexiphan ...

Episode 5 You opened Pandora's Box, you shut it again
Simon Travaglia, 18 Apr 09:00

Let’s PULL Augmented Reality and CLIMAX with JISM

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Oh come on! It's ripe for renaming
Alistair Dabbs, 18 Apr 07:00

The Internet of things is great until it blows up your house

How to stop hackers letting the gas flow in your connected oven? Bitcoin has the answer
Mark Pesce, 17 Apr 05:02

DTS announces DTS:X – sparks object-based audio war with Dolby

Breaking Fad New multi-channel sound technology loves the speakers you already have
Steve May, 16 Apr 11:57

'Granola-eating tree hugger' takes plunge, becomes IoT upstart

Doing my own 'ting Sweating the small stuff, again and again
Damon Hart-Davis, 13 Apr 12:22

The Walton kids are ABSURDLY wealthy – and you're benefitting

Worstall @ the Weekend That's the Waltons of Walmart, not John-Boy and family
Tim Worstall, 12 Apr 09:00

Columnist Roll

Alistair Dabbs

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Alistair Dabbs is a freelance technology tart, juggling IT journalism, editorial training and digital publishing.
Man in an orange jumpsuit clutches prison bars. Image by Shutterstock

Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? "Never heard of them." Well, could you look again? "They're not on the list, sir." Look, I was here last week. The business I am visiting today definitely exists. It's in this building. Please let me through. [shuffling of papers] "Did you want Amalgamated Durables? No? How about Insure and Blow? Or is it one of those tech …
Alistair Dabbs, 25 Apr 2015
Wolfenstein 3D

Let’s PULL Augmented Reality and CLIMAX with JISM

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Augmented Reality is a terrible expression,” says the AR demonstrator. “It’s a pity it doesn’t have a better name. So we call it XXooming. With two Xs.” Oh dear, I can tell this is about to be a presentation involving a string of brand-new made-up terms designed to mask the abject failure of the technology in question to have …
Alistair Dabbs, 18 Apr 2015
Crystal ball via http://www.manoftaste.de/

Struggling through the Crystal Maze in our hunt for a spare CAT5

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “For heaven’s sake, they’ve moved everything.” Sharp observation. Of course they moved everything, it’s an office move. If they hadn’t moved everything, some of your kit wouldn’t be there at all. It would still be 10 metres away where you used to sit. We are Glass – Gary Numan As office moves go, at one of my client’s premises …
Alistair Dabbs, 11 Apr 2015
Gromit as HMV dog Little Nipper

Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

Something for the Weekend, Sir? This was a contradictory week for the music industry. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. On Wednesday, I attended the unveiling of an IEEE Milestone plaque to commemorate the invention of stereo recording in 1931 by the prodigious scientist-engineer Alan Dower Blumlein. The event was hosted by Abbey Road …
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Apr 2015
Jeremy Clarkson

Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

Something for the Weekend, Sir? How can you condone racist violence, Alistair? Blimey! I’m not sure I know the answer to that one. In this round, there is no conferring. They sure come up with difficult questions in online forums. Perhaps my interrogator and I are at cross-purposes. I decide to find out. “Racist violence?” I type tentatively without …
Alistair Dabbs, 28 Mar 2015

Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Rumours reaching Dabbsy Towers that Microsoft might be finally letting Internet Explorer die gave me absolutely no joy or cause for celebration. Hahahahahahahaha. It has been said in places that, having been the world’s favourite web browser straddling the Millennium years, Internet Explorer defined the emerging Internet age. …
Alistair Dabbs, 21 Mar 2015