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No, Big Data firm, the UK isn't teeming with UBER-FRISKY GIGOLOS

Worstall @ the Weekend Prostitution + official GDP figures = buckets of FAIL
Tim Worstall, 05 Oct 10:02

Be nice to the public, PC Plod. Especially if you're trying to stop terrorists

Opinion Op Solitaire targets extremism risks via rifle clubs. And gets it SO wrong
Gareth Corfield, 04 Oct 13:50

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? In Spacebar, no one can hear you scream
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Oct 09:03

Want to see the back of fossil fuels? Calm down, hippies. CAPITALISM has an answer

Worstall on Wednesday Make it cheaper and they will BUY
Tim Worstall, 01 Oct 11:29

A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Breaking Fad Thus doth tech of future illuminate present, etc
Nigel Whitfield, 01 Oct 09:03

The Geek Chorus: 'Give MARK ZUCKERBERG all the DATA he wants!'

Opinion Robert Scoble made a Marxist out of me
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Mark Pesce, 01 Oct 05:02

Columnist Roll

Alistair Dabbs

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Alistair Dabbs is a freelance technology tart, juggling IT journalism, editorial training and digital publishing.
The Queen Mother by Phil Houghton

Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

When you have to go, you have to go. And when you do, don’t rush it otherwise you can end up with damp socks… as my father-in-law discovered during a hurried slash-and-dash in a not-so-lonely lay-by one night. I might revisit that particular anecdote later. For the moment, I invite you to consider what the computer has brought …
Alistair Dabbs, 18 Oct 2014
A black hole

Take CTRL! Shallow minds ponder the DEEP spectre of DARK CACHE

If in doubt, right-click. It’s a motto that has served me well and stood the test of time. Can’t locate a command under multiple sub-menus? Right-click – it’s probably in the contextual menu. Can’t remember what the command is called? Right-click – you’ll find it there. Have absolutely no idea what to do next? Right-click – it …
Alistair Dabbs, 12 Oct 2014

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

I'm leading a training course and a voice calls out: “Where’s the Spacebar?” Not such a daft question, you might think. When training people, it’s easy to forget that not everyone is comfortable with keyboard jargon. Except that I’m not teaching pensioners, Siberian farmers or visiting Martians, but journalists. You’d expect …
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Oct 2014

CURSE YOU, 'streaming' music services! I want a bloody CD

Oh bloody hell, grandma, what have you done this time? “I thought that was obvious. It’s your birthday. I bought you a CD.” A CD? That’s so uncool. So unhip. Are you, like, square? “I remembered you used to like music when you were a student. Have you gone off it?” You no’ down wit’ da word, daddio. Grannio. CD is old. Is all …
Alistair Dabbs, 27 Sep 2014
Rubber bands

Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

My stiff rubbery shaft is sticky. I have tried applying water, gentle detergents and even screen wipes but the stickiness of my rubber remains. It is sticky along its full length from tip to end and even my wife, who has tried to peel off the rubber, agrees that the shaft feels unpleasant in her hands. The next time I buy a …
Alistair Dabbs, 20 Sep 2014

The Apple Watch and CROTCH RUBBING. How are they related?

We would know when Peter had scored the night before because he’d walk into the office rubbing his crotch. The “lucky” girl to have been the subject of his special favours would invariably trot in a few paces behind, beaming smugly at her colleagues. These were the 1980s. Today everyone is obsessed with arses – Miley Cyrus’s …
Alistair Dabbs, 13 Sep 2014