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White LED lies: It's great, but Nobel physics prize-winning great?

Worstall @ the Weekend How artificial lighting could offer an artificial promise
Tim Worstall, 11 Oct 11:01

No, Big Data firm, the UK isn't teeming with UBER-FRISKY GIGOLOS

Worstall @ the Weekend Prostitution + official GDP figures = buckets of FAIL
Tim Worstall, 05 Oct 10:02

Be nice to the public, PC Plod. Especially if you're trying to stop terrorists

Opinion Op Solitaire targets extremism risks via rifle clubs. And gets it SO wrong
Gareth Corfield, 04 Oct 13:50

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

Something for the Weekend, Sir? In Spacebar, no one can hear you scream
Alistair Dabbs, 04 Oct 09:03

Want to see the back of fossil fuels? Calm down, hippies. CAPITALISM has an answer

Worstall on Wednesday Make it cheaper and they will BUY
Tim Worstall, 01 Oct 11:29

A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Breaking Fad Thus doth tech of future illuminate present, etc
Nigel Whitfield, 01 Oct 09:03

Columnist Roll

Simon Travaglia

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Simon Travaglia is the author of BOFH, the Bastard Operator from Hell, the long-running series about a rogue sysadmin. He lives in New Zealand.
Confused computer keyboard

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

"Ahhh... Just found some... uh... anomalies with the asset inventory checklist," our friendly neighbourhood Beancounter says to the PFY. "What anomalies?" I ask. "You didn't fill it out," the Boss says. "I bloody did!" I gasp. "You wrote at the bottom 'all present and correct' and signed your name," the Beancounter responds …
Simon Travaglia, 29 Aug 2014

BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

BOFH "So what we'd like to do is have the lights turn on in the foyer when people come into the office," the Health and Safety rep says. "Yep, put a PIR+Daylight sensor unit in," I say. "One of the sparkies could do that for about a hundred quid - or £150 if he's got a holiday coming up." "Yes, but what we'd like to do is …
Simon Travaglia, 23 Aug 2014

BOFH: The Great Backup BACKDOWN

"So I see that backup check went well?" the Boss asks, trying to drag me into a conversation that will have nothing to do with me, but sounds technical enough that I would be an idiot and say... "What backup check?" the PFY pre-empts me. NGAAAAAAARGH! "The backup check," says the Boss. "The Financial Director wanted to be …
Simon Travaglia, 01 Aug 2014

BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

"...And I can't seem to import all of the data I need," the user explains. "And you're importing into Excel from what... a CSV file?" the PFY asks. "Yes." "And the import fails?" "I just stops. It says something about resources." "So perhaps you should get rid of some of the data in the spreadsheet?" "It's an almost empty …
Simon Travaglia, 27 Jun 2014

BOFH: On the contrary, we LOVE rebranding here at the IT dept

"Now remember - there are no wrong answers in this exercise," Janice, the huggy-feely HR type says in a non-threatening manner. "What about SH*TBAG?" the PFY blurts. "Well that's more of an outburst than an answer," I point out gently. "Oh," the PFY responds. "My mistake." Getting caught up in exercises designed to "enhance …
Simon Travaglia, 13 Jun 2014

BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

"Your first mistake was asking for input," I explain to the Boss as he scans the huge volume of new email in his Inbox. "You really don't want to do that." "No," the PFY echoes, "Never do that." "Why not?" "Never seek user input on a technical document unless what you're asking about is so vague as to be useless," the PFY …
Simon Travaglia, 17 Apr 2014