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The software industry: So efficient, we invented shelfware

Have you considered helping customers to stop overspending?
9
Alan Pelz-Sharpe, 22 Apr 12:06

Are you being robbed of sleep by badly designed servers?

Sysadmin Blog Mornings, nights, they all blur into one for our man Trevor
58
Trevor Pott, 22 Apr 06:31

British bookworms deem Amazon 'evil'

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Chuck away your e-reader - everyone else is
127
Alistair Dabbs, 19 Apr 11:00

Bitcoins: A GIANT BUBBLE? Maybe, but currency could still be worthwhile

Lessons from tulip-hoarding Dutch speculators of 1634
96
Tim Worstall, 15 Apr 13:04

CIOs: Are you your CEO's business partner or their GIMP?

CIO Blog A Machiavellian guide for the modern CIO
24
Warren Burns, 14 Apr 21:02

I salute Lady THATCHER - Shoreditch's SILICON GODMOTHER

¡Bong! Investor Steve directs the baroness's funeral
32
Steve Bong, 12 Apr 11:44

Columnist Roll

Simon Travaglia

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Simon Travaglia is the author of BOFH, the Bastard Operator from Hell, the long-running series about a rogue sysadmin. He lives in New Zealand.

BOFH: My HELPDESK HELL - lies, phones lines and statistics

Episode 2 Support call numbers are PLOTTING against me
"I'm just a bit worried about these statistics," the Boss says, lurching into Mission Control with yet another swadge of meaningless numbers. "Told you so," I respond. [FLASHBACK TO A WEEK AGO] "I'm a bit worried about these weekly statistics," the Boss says, lurching into Mission Control with a swadge of meaningless numbers …
15 Mar 12:03

BOFH: Climb the corp ladder - and use your boss as a bullet shield

shutterstock_interview_sidey
Episode 1 Top tips on getting ahead, BOFH-style
"It's like progress bars," I say to the PFY during a discussion about the relative merits of the company management as we ride the lift to the CEO's office to fix some laptop crisis. "All too often the bar itself bears no relationship whatsoever to the amount of time you're going to wait. In the same way the salary of a manager …
22 Feb 10:59

BOFH: Cannot terminate PFY instance... ACCESS DENIED

Episode 14 I trust two people in this world. One is me and the other ain't you
"Have you seen this?" the PFY says, looking up from our revised contract document. "What?" I ask. "Did you realise there's a penalty clause in our contract for early termination? We have to give the company 2 YEARS notice of termination of contract?" "Sounds about right. It works both ways though - they have to give us the …
30 Nov 10:22

BOFH: The Great Patch Mismatch

Episode 13 Halon, the noblest of gases
"It's just a minor ROM patch." the service engineer bleats "It'll only take five minutes." "Yeah... Nah," the PFY says. "It's minor - just addresses a couple of memory leaks and and cookie issues in the web interface." "Yeah. Nah," I repeat. "It's just the interface - the UPS will be completely unaffected!" "Nope," the PFY …
23 Nov 11:36

BOFH: Hasta la Vista... luser

Windows_desktop_011
Episode 12 Installing Vista SP2 is like dousing a burning turd
"But I installed Service Pack 2!" our user whines at the PFY. "Installing SP2 on Windows Vista is like putting out a burning turd. Best possible outcome, you've got a steaming turd!" the PFY snaps. "But it's so slow!" "Uh-huh." "I've got 3 gigs of memory," he sniffles "Adding memory to Vista is like adding paper to a …
16 Nov 10:20

BOFH: Can't you just ... NO, I JUST CAN'T

bofh_sidey
Episode 11 Taking exception to exceptional exceptions
"EVERYONE IS A F**KING EXCEPTION!" the PFY snarls - beating me to the very same exclamation by nanoseconds. "What do you mean everyone is an exception?" the Boss asks. "It's the life of a bloody systems admin, people want you to make exceptions for them!" the PFY shouts. "Passwords, web filters, extra file space. People want us …
09 Nov 11:00

More Simon Travaglia columns >