Columnists

Uber? Worth $40 BEEELLION? Hey, actually, hold on ...

Worstall on Wednesday What will happen when the ROBOTS turn up, eh?
Tim Worstall, 10 Dec 10:00

Which country has 2nd largest social welfare system in the world?

Worstall @ the Weekend Surely not the US of 'F*ck the Poor' A? Actually, yes
Tim Worstall, 07 Dec 12:00

BOFH: Santa, bloody Santa

Episode 15 Bodily violence? PLEASE. I was protecting the children
Simon Travaglia, 06 Dec 11:00

How HAPPY am I on a scale of 1 to 10? Where do I click PISSED OFF?

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Our survey says: whuh-waah
Alistair Dabbs, 06 Dec 07:00

Gaming's driving ambitions: The Crew and Grand Theft Auto V

Game Theory Fast, furious, FUN... and banned in Australia
Mike Plant, 05 Dec 13:44

Columnist Roll

Simon Travaglia

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Simon Travaglia is the author of BOFH, the Bastard Operator from Hell, the long-running series about a rogue sysadmin. He lives in New Zealand.
Chicken Jalfrezi and rice with a beer. Pic by Shutterstock

BOFH: Capo di Capo, blah. I'm having CHICKEN JALFREZI

Episode 16 We have new Director, just in time for Christmas! It appears that, through some convoluted twist of fate, our former Director took a dagger in the back for "creating a hostile workplace environment". APPARENTLY his misogynistic leanings "fostered a culture of a male hierarchal structure" and he's been made an example of by H.R …
Simon Travaglia, 13 Dec 2014
Santa Claus on his laptop

BOFH: Santa, bloody Santa

Episode 15 "HE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE!" the Director shouts, gesturing both wildly and furiously at the absent PFY's desk. "Well yes," I say calmly, "but let's be reasonable about this - he WAS asking for it." "HE WASN'T BLOODY ASKING FOR IT!" the Director shouts again - in serious danger of bursting one or two major cranium-based …
Simon Travaglia, 06 Dec 2014

BOFH: Everyone deserves a little DOWNTIME

Episode 14 Isn't it always the way that when you're hours from the office sporting only a smartphone with a dodgy data connection that something critical claps out back at work. And then something's wrong with the VPN so you have to gain access through a convoluted chain of remote desktop, ssh and telnet links just to end up with a …
Simon Travaglia, 28 Nov 2014

BOFH: SOOO... You want to sell us some antivirus software?

Episode 11 "Yes, but with our antivirus software you can be guaranteed that we will track and locate 98.97 per cent of all known viruses," the caller says. "Tell me, where did you get the 98.97 per cent from?" "What do you mean?" "Well you say 98.97 per cent - not 99 and not something like 96, so you've obviously got a reason for it …
Simon Travaglia, 08 Nov 2014
Confused computer keyboard

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Episode 9 "Ahhh... Just found some... uh... anomalies with the asset inventory checklist," our friendly neighbourhood Beancounter says to the PFY. "What anomalies?" I ask. "You didn't fill it out," the Boss says. "I bloody did!" I gasp. "You wrote at the bottom 'all present and correct' and signed your name," the Beancounter responds …
Simon Travaglia, 29 Aug 2014

BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Episode 8 BOFH "So what we'd like to do is have the lights turn on in the foyer when people come into the office," the Health and Safety rep says. "Yep, put a PIR+Daylight sensor unit in," I say. "One of the sparkies could do that for about a hundred quid - or £150 if he's got a holiday coming up." "Yes, but what we'd like to do is …
Simon Travaglia, 23 Aug 2014