Columnists

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Episode 9 Thronging gangs of idiots besiege tech
Simon Travaglia, 07 Jul 09:19

On the couch with an AI robo-doc asking me personal questions

Something for the Weekend, Sir? How long have you been having these delusions?
Alistair Dabbs, 07 Jul 07:58

Dead serious: How to haunt people after you've gone... using your smartphone

Something for the Weekend, Sir? This app could have grave consequences etc
Alistair Dabbs, 30 Jun 09:01

Robots will enable a sustainable grey economy

Oldies will retain mobility and independence when Teslas can self-drive them to work or be sent out to do the shopping
Mark Pesce, 29 Jun 07:02

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Episode 8 Do we have an agenda? Why of course we do!
Simon Travaglia, 23 Jun 11:07

Smart burglars will ride the surf of inter-connected hackability

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Let’s invent a dustbin that throws itself away
Alistair Dabbs, 23 Jun 09:02

Columnist Roll

Simon Travaglia

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Simon Travaglia is the author of BOFH, the Bastard Operator from Hell, the long-running series about a rogue sysadmin. He lives in New Zealand.
man in pain at workstation

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Episode 9 "I wasn't built for user support, I know that now," I sigh. "I know," the PFY replies, without looking up from his game. "At one time I thought I could do it but now I know I'm asking too much of myself. I don't like lazy people, stupid people or whiny people." "I know." "I can't stand tinkerers, tweakers, or people who …
Simon Travaglia, 07 Jul 2017

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Episode 8 I never cease to be amazed by the seemingly endless possibilities for forming a committee to not do something. It's as though whenever there's a critical mass of deadwood in one room they'll end up creating a committee to legitimise themselves, make some decisions to address the ills of whatever they've talked about, issue …
Simon Travaglia, 23 Jun 2017
Man with bun sucks on vape. Photo by shutterstock

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Episode 7 "Simon, Steven – a word?" the Boss burbles warmly. "What's up?" the PFY answers warily. "Nothing - just having an interesting conversation with a bloke from an outfit that deals with infrastructure obsolescence, code debt and I.T. asset leveraging." "Ah yes, I thought I felt a disturbance in the force," the PFY nods. "Come …
Simon Travaglia, 16 Jun 2017
James has entered the bastardly matrix. Illustrations from SStock, text from The Reg

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

Episode 6 "Ok James, I think it's time we released you into the wild," I say. "What?!" James gasps, no doubt thinking window, brief scream, distant thud, car alarm. "Into the wild," The PFY says. "We can teach you no more. From now on it's all practical experience." "What?" "We've found you a job, faked some credentials and you have …
Simon Travaglia, 28 Apr 2017

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

Episode 5 "The thing is," I explain to James, "the vast majority of management bright ideas aren't – they're just stuff which keeps the Boss occupied till lunchtime firing off urgent emails about problems we don't have." "Then after lunch he'll send maybe three or four more emails," the PFY adds, "at least two of which will want updates …
Simon Travaglia, 07 Apr 2017

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

Episode 4 "Ah! Simon, Steven - this is James," the Boss burbles, pushing a young lad forward like a ritual sacrifice candidate. "James is doing a 2 week placement with us as part of his further studies." "James!" I say, holding out my hand. "James is here to make some modifications to the software that imports people into our security …
Simon Travaglia, 31 Mar 2017

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