Simon Sharwood

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Bank vault

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

On-Call Welcome again to On-Call, The Register's Friday reader-contributed tales of tech support jobs gone wrong. We're mining a bit of a vein of emergency-services-related stories of late, so let's keep that going by meeting "James", who sent us a story from "way back in the 1990s when I was sent to a small branch of a foreign bank …
Simon Sharwood, 25 May 2018
Cash register, photo via Shutterstock

OVH prepares not-discounts to not-match AWS, Azure, et al

OVH’s wave of global expansion is nearly done and the company will soon follow other public cloud operators’ leads by cost-cutting for customers. The company’s Asia Pacific director Lionel Legros told The Register that since expanding to the region OVH has worked to expand network capacity “For instance on dedicated servers …
Simon Sharwood, 22 May 2018
Typhoon Soudelor photographed from the International Space Station

Astronaut took camera on spacewalk, but forgot SD memory card

An International Space Station astronaut took a GoPro camera for a space walk last week, but forgot to bring any memory. “A question about the GoPro real quick,” asks astronaut Andrew Feustel in the video below. “I’m pushing the button I see a ‘no SD’. Do I need that to record? And if it is recording is there supposed to be a …
Simon Sharwood, 22 May 2018
Camouflage WiFi logo

EU considers baking new norms of cyber-war into security policies

The European Parliament has been asked to adopt a new set of “norms” about online conflict. The norms were developed by the Global Commission on the Stability for Cyberspace (GCSC), a group backed and funded by the governments of The Netherlands, France and Singapore, together with Microsoft and The Internet Society, that …
Simon Sharwood, 22 May 2018

OpenStack makes Zuul continuous delivery tool its second indie project

The OpenStack Foundation has launched its Zuul continuous delivery and integration tool as a discrete project. Zuul is therefore Foundation’s second project other than OpenStack itself. The first was Kata Containers. Making Zuul a standalone effort therefore advance’s the Foundation’s ambition to become a bit like the Linux …
Simon Sharwood, 22 May 2018

Adobe acquires Magento to go B2B2C and beyond

Adobe has announced it will acquire Magento Commerce, and fold the gobbled business's platform into its Experience Cloud. Magento started life as an open-source web platform that melded content management and e-commerce, an approach that simplified matters considerably for small business and attracted plenty of larger users …
Simon Sharwood, 22 May 2018
Typing error

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Who, me? If the thought of another week at work has you down, worry not: The Register has another instalment of “Who, me?” for you to read, so you can enjoy another tale of errors made by someone other than yourself! This week meet “Wayne” who wrote to confess that “Once I accidentally formatted the wrong hard drive.” “I arrived on …
Simon Sharwood, 21 May 2018
No swearing WTF?

10 social networks ignored UK government consultations

Just four of 14 social networks asked to consult with the UK government on regulation of social media attended the talks, so ministers have revealed plans to require rapid removal of abusive and objectionable material and substantial fines for not doing so. Minister for Digital Margot James and Culture Secretary Matt Hancock …
Simon Sharwood, 21 May 2018
Test image from  image from one of the four cameras aboard the Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite

NASA’s new exoplanet-spotter survives sling past the Moon

NASA’s exoplanet-spotting Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite (TESS) has successfully manoeuvred around Earth’s moon. TESS is headed for an orbit that’s elliptical and inclined to Earth. The ellipse allows TESS to squirt data back to Earth from its 108,000km perigee, an altitude that keeps it well clear of the cluttered ~30, …
Simon Sharwood, 21 May 2018
LG logo on box

LG chairman Koo Bon-moo dies, aged 73

LG chairman Koo Bon-moo has died, aged 73. Koo has been seriously ill for some time but retained his role as chairman out of respect for his massive contribution to the business and the fact he was the third of his family to helm the conglomerate. He became chairman in 1995 and has quintupled LG’s revenues to ~US$150bn, over $ …
Simon Sharwood, 21 May 2018
Bomb on PC screen

Tech support made the news after bomb squad and police showed up to 'defuse' leaky UPS

On-Call By golly it’s Friday again! Which means a spot of R&R isn’t far off, once we get through On-Call, The Register’s weekly column recounting readers’ tales of terrible times in tech support. This week meet “Len” who told us he works “for a small but long-established IT company” n a major Scottish city. “We do a range of work …
Simon Sharwood, 18 May 2018
Big number ten

Intel’s first 10nm CPU is a twin-core i3 destined for a mid-range Lenovo

Intel’s revealed the existence of a real, actual, coming-to-a-PC-near-you-real-soon-now, CPU built with a ten-nanometre manufacturing process. The Core i3-8121U Processor popped up on Intel’s ARK database of its products in the last day or so. Intel’s years late delivering 10nm silicon, having foreshadowed its arrival years …
Simon Sharwood, 18 May 2018

Former Facebook and Uber CSO hired by Cloudflare

When John Sullivan worked at Facebook, Aleksandr Kogan created the infamous personality quiz app that, unbeknown to The Social Network™, eventually funnelled data to Cambridge Analytica. And when Sullivan worked for Uber, he was fired for his part in paying off hackers to conceal a breach of 57 million users’ records. And now …
Simon Sharwood, 18 May 2018
Dell logo

New Dell theme song:
I just don’t know what to do with myself

Dell still hasn’t decided what to do with itself, or VMware. A new form 8-K filed with the United States Securities and Exchange Commission on May 17th says Dell “continues to evaluate potential business opportunities, including a potential public offering of shares of DHI Common Stock of Dell, a potential business combination …
Simon Sharwood, 18 May 2018
Snake oil salesman

Real fake scam offers crypto-coin to replace frequent flier points

The United States Securities and Exchange Commission’s (SEC’s) ongoing efforts to crimp dodgy cryptocurrency dealings has seen it create a fake initial coin offering that, ironically, lures the credulous with an offer to replace one weird pseudo-currency – loyalty scheme points – with cryptocurrency. claims to …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2018
Uninstalling facebook

Zuck to meet Euro MPs for ‘please explain’ session

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg will visit Brussels in the next week or two to meet with representatives of the European Parliament including “the leaders of the political groups and the Chair and the Rapporteur of the Committee for Civil Liberties, Justice and Home Affairs.” That quote comes from Antonio Tajani, the European …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2018
me too!

Red Hat's CloudForms to slum it by wrangling boring old VMs

Red Hat’s decided virtual servers ought not to be a standalone silo for much longer, so has created a “Virtualization Suite” that combines Red Hat Virtualization with the CloudForms tool it offers to manage OpenStack and cloud-native applications. CloudForms has been around for a while and offers administrators one app with …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2018
Donald Trump tweeting

Trump’s new ZTE tweets trump old ZTE tweets

United States president Donald Trump has again tried to clarify just what he meant when he tweeted about protecting jobs at Chinese networking kit-maker ZTE. Trump first tweeted that “President Xi of China, and I, are working together to give massive Chinese phone company, ZTE, a way to get back into business, fast.” But a …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2018
Parliament House Canberra

No new 3PAR weirdness found behind crashes at Australian Tax office

DXC’s report on the twin outages in HPE 3PAR storage arrays that disrupted web services at the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) has revealed nothing new about the incidents. The ATO’s SANs went down, hard, in December 2016 and then again in February 2017. The SANs underpin the web apps tax professionals and individual …
Simon Sharwood, 16 May 2018
Cable maze image via Shutterstock

nbn™ isn’t fixing HFC, it’s ‘optimising’ it

nbn™, the company building and operating Australia’s national broadband network (NBN), has revealed a little more about what it's doing to the hybrid fibre-coax networks it uses for some retail customers. The company spent billions to acquire HFC networks from Australian telcos Optus and Telstra. Optus’ network has been …
Simon Sharwood, 16 May 2018

Google shoots Chrome 66's silencer after developer backlash

Google has tweaked Chrome 66 to make the new feature that silences auto-playing videos less aggressive. The change was made because while the updated browser silenced videos as intended, it also muted games and sites that use audio for alerts and other purposes That’s not what Chrome’s developers intended: the plan was to …
Simon Sharwood, 16 May 2018
Magic cloud castle

Verizon commits to AWS after buying and selling its own cloud

Amazon Web Services has announced a new and significant marquee customer: Verizon. The US telco is significant because it once tried to get into the cloud caper itself. Way back in 2011 Verizon acquired Terremark for US$1.1bn because it felt it had no chance of making a go of cloud with organic growth alone. It was wrong: …
Simon Sharwood, 16 May 2018
John McAfee with gun

John McAfee ‘goes underground’ in motorcade to flee SEC

Security personality John McAfee has “gone underground” in a convoy of armored cars escorted by people claimed to be former members of the military, to escape what he says is persecution by America's financial watchdog – the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) McAfee has released a series of videos explaining that he’s …
Simon Sharwood, 16 May 2018

Uber says it's changed and is now ever-so ShinyHappy™

Uber’s new CEO Dara Khosrowshahi has emerged at the head of a charm offensive that promises the infamously belligerent ride share company is “moving forward”. There’s a micro-site full of ShinyHappy™ explaining it all. The short version is that Uber wants to be nice to drivers, riders, city authorities and any other imaginable …
Simon Sharwood, 15 May 2018
Harry and Meghan (editorial use only)

We've found it! A cloud-and-AI angle on the royal wedding

The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be brought to the world with the help of cloudy machine learning. As AWS’ video processing limb Elemental recently revealed, “A video feed from an outside broadcast van located near St. George’s Chapel will capture faces of arriving guests and feed the signal to an AWS …
Simon Sharwood, 15 May 2018

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