Andrew Orlowski

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Picture this if you will: Facebook trousers $77,794. Every. Minute.

Facebook is one of the most ruthlessly efficient money-making machines in history, and has exceeded $10bn revenue in a quarter for the first time. Gross revenue of $10.3bn means the company earns some $4.67m every hour, $77,794 per minute, or $1,296 every second. With barely over 20,000 staff to feed, and relatively few …

Fitbit health alert: You appear to be bleeding

Fitbit's year-on-year losses grew fivefold to $113.4m compared to a year ago, with sales of 3.6 million devices in the quarter, 7 per cent up from the previous quarter. The firm admitted it had been a "difficult year" as the fitness band craze diminished, with sales down considerably compared to the same period of 2016. …

HTC U11: U-hoo. Look over here! Two new phones! We're Not Actually Dead

Hands On HTC will have two new devices in the stores this month, and insists it has held onto a sizeable phone division, even after the reassignment of 2,000 HTC staff to the Chocolate Factory. "It's more of a partnership" an HTC staffer told us. The partnership does include slapping Google's dud AndroidOne brand on one of its devices …

Facebook vows to double staff with new cadre of Net Police

Facebook has promised to double its global headcount from a year ago, with the new employees being devoted to Cleaning Up The Web. The pledge comes ahead of a Congressional grilling of America's two giant internet platforms (and Twitter) today. All three face scrutiny not just for their click-driven advertising models, but …

First iPhone X fondlers struggle to admit that Face ID sort of sucks

EuphemismWatch Just as it was hard for courtiers to tell the Emperor he wasn't wearing anything, the first iPhone X phondlers won't admit that Face ID will frustrate owners and make them work hard just to unlock the phone without a PIN. The reviewers don't want to spoil the fairytale. Face ID is Apple's new and incredibly complex face …
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Oct 2017

Crisis? What crisis? Samsung is raking in $109m profit a day

Samsung announced new leadership this week following the resignation of CEO Kwon Oh-hyun, and the jailing of the empire's heir apparent. The latter, Lee Jae-yong, had effectively run the chaebol for over two years. He is appealing his five-year sentence for corruption. The company had already indicated third-quarter record …
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Oct 2017

Health quango: Booze 'evidence' not Puritan enough, do us another

Updated Academics at the UK's leading alcohol research centre tweaked their model to help the government introduce more Puritanical booze advice. The tweaks emerged after FoI requests uncovered correspondence between the Sheffield Alcohol Research Group (SARG) and the quango Public Health England, which had commissioned the …
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Oct 2017
Donald trump reading fake news

Why you can't boycott the Mail: Google makes a mint from 'fake news'

Publishers hiding their identity from advertisers accounted for 60 per cent of Google's news network ad revenue in a study conducted by a non-partisan ethics watchdog. The Campaign for Accountability examined over 1,000 "hyper-partisan" news sites frequently associated with "fake news", including Breitbart and the Mail Online …
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Oct 2017

Google's phone woes: The Pixel and the damage done

Analysis In recent years, China's high-tech production miracle and globalisation have made it easy – perhaps too easy – for an outsider or newcomer to dabble in hardware. The ease of producing hardware with your brand on it might have been too seductive, tempting companies into doing the rest of the operation on the cheap. There's more …
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Oct 2017

Camera company, huh? Snap's nerd goggles look destined for landfill

Comment Although Snap Inc. still insists on its home page that it's "a camera company", nobody seems to want its "camera". The core user base of millennials have stayed away from its hardware foray, resulting in an expensive flop. The social network for yoof rebranded itself in the build-up to its IPO in March. Being a social network …
Andrew Orlowski, 30 Oct 2017

Pixel 2 tinkerers force Google's hand: Secret custom silicon found

Previously Google has contracted major brand OEMs to produce Nexus and Pixel phones using fairly standard off-the-shelf parts. But a teardown of Google's pricey new flagship reveals the company's first homegrown system on a chip – and it's currently idle. Google yesterday went into a little detail on the chip, describing it as …
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Oct 2017

What’s the real point of being a dev? It's saving management from themselves

Comment What’s the point of being a developer ? My experience of being one taught me that it isn’t primarily the coding – it’s actually much more important than that. Last week at Parliament, discussion touched on the role The Register plays in the media landscape. The chairman of the House of Lords’ enquiry on Artificial Intelligence …
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Oct 2017

Lucky Canada. Google chooses Toronto as site of posthuman urban lab

Alphabet's Sidewalk Labs venture has chosen Toronto as its urban laboratory – one in which humans may ultimately be optional. Sidewalk CEO Dan Doctoroff has fantasised how convenient a city would be without people. Google won't take over the entire city – at least not just yet. It's opted to redevelop 12 acres of the the city …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Oct 2017
Satya Nadella's three bets: AI, Mixed Reality, and Quantum Computing

GE goes with Apple: Not the Transformation you were looking for, Satya?

Comment While Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella trots the world plugging his book on “transformation”, some of the biggest enterprises in the world are “transforming” themselves ... away from Microsoft. Industrial giant General Electric employs 330,000 staff world wide, and can be considered one of the more conservative businesses. But …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Oct 2017

Let's dig into how open source could KO the Silicon Valley chat silos

Interview There's never been a better opportunity for the world to start untangling itself from the giant Silicon Valley data harvesters than now. Last week, we revealed a plan to embed open-source chat into three quarters of the world's IMAP servers. And this may be an important development. Maybe. Google, Yahoo!, Apple and Microsoft …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Oct 2017

BlackBerry Motion lurches into UK stores

BlackBerry Mobile, which is TCL for all intents and purposes, is making its enterprise slab available in the UK. The Motion received a very low-key stealth launch a week ago on a Sunday in Dubai. Carphone Warehouse and other retailers will take pre-orders from today. At £399, the mid-market midranger competes with a …
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Oct 2017

Qualcomm takes 5G to spooky millimetre land

It's barely six months since the industry agreed on a standard (5G NR) for exploiting millimetre wave spectrum, and now Qualcomm's silicon has achieved a 5G connection in the extreme high-frequency millimetre wave (MMW or mmWave) portion of the spectrum, between the super high frequency and the far infrared bands. MMW is …
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Oct 2017

Capgemini: We love our 'flexible, flowing' spade

Logowatch Throwing caution to the wind, the IT outsourcing and services giant Capgemini is celebrating its 50th anniversary with a daring visit to the Strategy Boutique. The Gallic operation's wordmark is now expressed in a cursive script, and controversially features a radically redrawn corporate spade. "We love our spade," gushes …
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Oct 2017
Mate 10 Pro - the new Huawei phone preview

Phab-u-lous, Mate: Huawei's business phabs go upmarket

Huawei’s “phablet” line, the Mate series, has languished in relative obscurity, but that’s set to change. The three new Mate 10 models unveiled yesterday are set to push the business-focused niche to the forefront of the Chinese giant’s portfolio. Highly regarded for its stonking battery life, the Mate series has been hard to …
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Oct 2017

Xperia XZ1: Sony spies with its MotionEye something beginning...

Review You know where you are with a Sony - this year’s are much like last year’s. And the year before that. The "Omnibalance" design is now reaching the end of its life - that’s official - and hasn’t changed in ages. Sony calls it "timeless", which means "around for a very long time". But then, why should it change? The Sony …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Oct 2017
Privacy

Dear America, you can't steal a personality: GDPR godfather talks privacy with El Reg

Interview "Now I've heard that one before. Let me think, where was it... Ah yes. It was Google!" Jan Philipp Albrecht is the biggest thorn in the side of US data slurpers, and fortunately he has a good memory. The German Green MEP is the architect of Europe's new privacy regulations, GDPR, and we were discussing a rhetorical question …
Andrew Orlowski, 13 Oct 2017

Open source sets sights on killing WhatsApp and Slack

Exclusive The company that writes the open-source software for three-quarters of the world's Internet Message Access Protocol (IMAP) email servers has a plan that could kill off proprietary chat services like Facebook's WhatsApp. And that means you, too, Slack. German open-source software-as-a-service operation Open-Xchange acquired the …
Andrew Orlowski, 12 Oct 2017

El Reg was invited to the House of Lords to burst the AI-pocalypse bubble

Comment To Westminster, England, where the House of Lords is conducting a wide-ranging inquiry into artificial intelligence. I'm writing a book on AI – and why people believe in it – and on the basis of some notes, was invited to give oral evidence on a panel of three alongside the BBC's Rory Cellan-Jones and The Financial Times' …
Andrew Orlowski, 11 Oct 2017
A tortoise catches an orange frisbee. Photo by Shutterstock

How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

"Without the end points you aren't going to have the impact in the world and people's lives so you have to think about this next generation of computing as mobile-first, cloud-first," said Microsoft's CEO three years ago. Strictly speaking, there's no change in Microsoft's position on its dormant-but-nominally-still-supported …

Shhh! There's a new BlackBerry and... no, we've said too much

Enterprise-focussed phones are vanishingly rare, and that's unlikely to change after BlackBerry Mobile gave its newest model the stealthiest launch possible. The new BlackBerry Motion device – the second from TCL – was unveiled at a trade show in Dubai on a Sunday, and on Instagram, but there's no formal media announcement for …

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