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Joe Fay

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Joe Fay is group editor of The Register, and The Channel.
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Facebook prospectus shows jump in users, fall in profits

Facebook's latest pre-IPO filing shows the social network giant ramped up to 901 million users, who produce 3.2 billion likes and comments a day. Oh, and it said its net income slipped on the year as operating expenses ballooned. The updated S1 filing covered the period up to March 31, and bombarded potential investors with …
Joe Fay, 23 Apr 2012
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Courier mishap sends woman's corpse to shopping club

A mix-up at a freight forwarding firm meant a dead woman's torso was diverted from a research facility in Florida and shipped to a wholesale shopping club in Massachusetts instead. Staff at the headquarters of BJ's Wholessales Club's HQ in Westborough, Mass, were initially unconcerned when the comparatively large package turned …
Joe Fay, 23 Apr 2012
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Microsoft and Facebook in $1bn pass the IP parcel play

Microsoft and Facebook concluded a significant round of pass the patent parcel today as the soon-to-IPO social network gained rights to a bundle of IP formerly belonging to AOL. The companies have carved up the $1bn patent pile that Microsoft secured from AOL earlier this month, strengthening both their respective IP positions …
Joe Fay, 23 Apr 2012
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Workers' comp covers sex-related injuries, judge rules

Injuries sustained while having sex on a work trip are covered by workers' compensation, an Australian federal judge has ruled. The ruling accepted that the nookie-related injury sustained by a government employee on a business trip occurred during "the course of employment", overturning an earlier rejection of the woman's claim …
Joe Fay, 20 Apr 2012
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Techie stages 'strip down' protest at TSA 'harassment'

An Oregon man who "does something with the internet" stripped stark naked at Portland airport on Tuesday in a protest at TSA screening policies. John E Brennan, 50, turned up to board a flight San Jose yesterday, according to reports, but took umbrage at the TSA's screening procedures. KATU News reports that Brennan said he was …
Joe Fay, 18 Apr 2012

Intel boss turns earnings call into iPhone flirt fest

Intel boss Paul Otellini used its Q1 earnings call today to continue the chip giant's flirty pitch to build chips for Apple's iOS devices. The vendor flagged up the launch of the first Intel-based smartphone, which is expected as early as next week. However, Otellini also used its briefing with analysts to make a public pitch …
Joe Fay, 17 Apr 2012
DVD it in many colours

Intel beats Q1 expectations, jacks up revenue forecast

Intel crept in over expectations with its Q1 results today, though its silicon business dipped 2 per cent on the previous year's slightly longer quarter. The chip giant characterized its Q1 performance as a "solid start" to the year, and was bullish enough to jack up its expectations for the second quarter. Revenues were $12. …
Joe Fay, 17 Apr 2012
The Register breaking news

Austrian village considers a F**king name change

An Austrian village with an amusingly obscene name has decided to throw in the towel and vote on whether to change it. The 100 odd residents of Fucking, in Upper Austria, are to vote this week on whether to change their hamlet's name to something less attractive to English-speaking visitors, the Daily Telegraph reports. The …
Joe Fay, 17 Apr 2012
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German software giant plucks London software outfit

Software AG has hoovered up a UK-based messaging software developer founded by a bunch of Deutsche Bank alumni. The German enterprise software vendor has bought out 13-year old London-based my-Channels for a sum reportedly in the low double digits of million euros. my-Channels' "extremely fast (low latency) messaging software …
Joe Fay, 16 Apr 2012
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'Not guilty' plea in Utah cop site hacking case

An Ohio man pleaded not guilty today to charges that he hacked into a pair of police websites in Salt Lake City, Utah in January. John Anthony Borell III, a 21 year old from Ohio, made the plea at an arraignment hearing in Salt Lake City today, AP reports. He faces up to ten years inside and a $250,000 fine if found guilty on …
Joe Fay, 16 Apr 2012
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Pope's PR says Vatican in grip of WikiLeaks-style scandal

The Pope's top PR man has declared that the Vatican is in the midst of its own "WikiLeaks" scandal after a flurry of confidential Papal documents were fed to the media by apparently disgruntled cardinals. The leaks have ranged from documents covering allegedly murky operations at the Vatican bank, to an investigation into a …
Joe Fay, 14 Feb 2012
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The El Reg book library - now on ePub

You asked for it, now you're going to get it. We're talking about making the El Reg collection of ebooks available on ePub as well as Kindle. Now you can enjoy the finest collected writing from our crack journalists on your Kobo, Sony Reader, Android tablet or Nook. Or all the above, if you're that way inclined. So if you want …
Joe Fay, 14 Feb 2012
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The Register Comments Guidelines, 2012

The Register operates a hybrid moderation policy. Here's how it works. The vast majority of comments will appear on the site automatically. This is because we trust you to follow the house rules. But just in case ... we have a mechanism for readers to report comments. The moderators will continue to deal with any comments and/ …
Joe Fay, 01 Feb 2012
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Virginia ponders tax breaks for (dead) human space flights

The US may not be able to singlehandedly put a live man into space right now, but Virginia politicians may be about to boost the number of dead Americans catapulted into orbit. The Virginia General Assembly is soon to consider a bill that will allow an income tax deduction of up to $8,000 (£5,100) for burials in space, WTVR …
Joe Fay, 13 Dec 2011
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Russian diplomat caught driving while 15 TIMES over booze limit

A Russian diplomat was an epic 15 times over the drink-driving limit when he was collared by Polish cops on Sunday. The unnamed cunning linguist drove erratically until he was stopped by cops in the Pomerania region, the Moscow Times reports. Cops felt the foreign service operative was behaving in a "strange" manner, the Times …
Joe Fay, 22 Nov 2011
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Man sues boss for 'condemning him to eternal damnation'

An American man has brought a wrongful dismissal suit over his former employer's attempt to make him wear the number of the beast - in the guise of a safety record sticker. Billy E Hyatt alleges that he was fired from the Pliant Corp plastics factory in northern Georgia for refusing to wear a sticker declaring the factory had …
Joe Fay, 21 Nov 2011
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Irish website promises you'll never miss a funeral again

Irish netizens and their country's diaspora need never miss an important demise in their homeland again, after the launch of DeathIreland.com. The site promises to keep subscribers "up to date with all the deaths in your town, city or county - and much more". The much more appears to be interactive mapping to every church and …
Joe Fay, 18 Nov 2011
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Reg man the most-flamed recruiter in the UK?

Last week's article by Dominic Connor on how some techies really, really need some help with their CVs hit a number of nerves. flame_thrower Image via Shutterstock It's quite possible that this single piece will earn Dominic The Reg's annual most flamed writer award for 2011. Now, we know you're busy people, so here are …
Joe Fay, 16 Nov 2011
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BT Tower falls over, crushes X Factor hopefuls

BT's iconic central London tower flipped out on Saturday evening, delaying transmission of an episode of The X Factor for 15 minutes. The delay to the start of Saturday night talent-show-cum-hard-luck-story-cringefest sparked a cascade of conspiracy theories, as concerned fans stayed on their arses to bombard Twitter and …
Joe Fay, 14 Nov 2011
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Az mayor offers Prince Harry beer and pizza in fornication row

The Mayor of Gila Bend, Arizona has offered Prince Harry a pizza supper and a "beer summit" to lay to rest claims that he warned the third in line to the throne off fornicating with the local ladies. However, the proposed booze-up is bound to be interpreted as a cunning ruse designed to render the playboy prince incapable of …
Joe Fay, 10 Nov 2011
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Hong Kongers fight for right to stand in line for iPhone 4S

Apple's Hong Kong store appeared to have banned the traditional queue fest ahead of its launch of the iPhone 4S this weekend, after "tongue fights" between "professional" queuers and their amateur counterparts threatened to get much nastier. The queueing "ban" came after a day of rising tensions, which culminated in police " …
Joe Fay, 10 Nov 2011
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Prince Harry given free run of Arizona town's womenfolk

Prince Harry has been given the green light to deflower the maidens of a small US town, after the town manager explained reports Cap'n Windsor had been warned off "fornicating" as "a total fabrication". The UK tabs were cock-a-hoop yesterday about reports that the mayor of Gila Bend, where Harry is completing a weapons course, …
Joe Fay, 08 Nov 2011
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Americans' right to hang fake balls on trucks left dangling

Americans on the horns of a constitutional dilemma over their right to hang simulated, over-sized testicles from the back of their pickups will have to wait even longer for the issue to be decided. Truck nuts Virginia Tice, of Bonneau, South Carolina, was hit with a $445 ticket back in July for hanging a pair of the "truck …
Joe Fay, 03 Nov 2011
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Catholic Bishops: 'Would you mind not bringing guns to church?'

Wisconsin's Catholic hierarchy have told the faithful that they'd really prefer them not to pack heat when they go to Mass, after the state enacted a new law authorising the carrying of concealed weapons. But, the Bishops add, if parishoners do want to come to mass with guns, tasers, knives and billy clubs, well, that's OK too …
Joe Fay, 02 Nov 2011
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Civil servants cough up more lost BlackBerrys

Further evidence of civil servants' apparent inability to hold onto their BlackBerrys emerged yesterday as ministers' revealed further losses of the smart devices. Gareth Thomas MP has been conducting a crusade to expose Whitehall losses of IT kit. Yesterday, it was the Scotland Office and Department of Communities and Local …
Joe Fay, 02 Nov 2011
SGI logo hardware close-up

Why can't civil servants keep a grip on their BlackBerrys?

Butter-fingered civil servants are continuing to hurl away their personal tech devices, figures released to the House of Commons yesterday show, with BlackBerrys particularly prone to going walkies. Labour's Gareth Thomas MP asked tabled questions to a number of ministers about whether their departments had "lost any (a) …
Joe Fay, 01 Nov 2011
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US radio evangelist: Apocalypse now

Reg readers are advised to get their earthly affairs in order today as the long-predicted Rapture should sweep the good sheep up to heaven sometime after lunch. The prediction is, of course, from Oakland-based radio evangelist Harold Camping, who nailed 21 October as Rapture day back in May. Camping marked his calendar just …
Joe Fay, 21 Oct 2011
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Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

A Northern Ireland man has been jailed for three months for causing £3,000 of damage to his flat after attempting to turn his own faeces into gold using an electric heater. Paul Moran, 30, admitted arson and endangering the lives of others, the Belfast Telegraph reports. He will spend 12 months on licence upon his release. The …
Joe Fay, 20 Oct 2011
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This just in: Brussels shatters CRT cartel

The European Union has squeezed a settlement out of CRT glass manufacturers it accused of operating a cartel back in the days when people used glass screens. Three vendors will cough up a total of €128m (£111m) to settle the investigation. Nippon Electric will pay €43.2m, Schott AG will pay €40.1m and Asahi Glass will pay €45.1m …
Joe Fay, 20 Oct 2011
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Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

The Advertising Standards Authority has put the kibosh on an ad for Duke Nukem Forever that confronted post-watershed viewers with pole dancers, schoolgirl lesbians and multiple nipple flashes. The ad regulator said it had received 34 complaints about the ad, shown last June, that had questioned whether it was "offensive and …
Joe Fay, 19 Oct 2011
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Man 'drinks 2 pizzas' before skidding off road

A Kentucky man is facing drugs charges after driving into a ditch before telling officers he'd "drunk too much pizza" for lunch. Officers were called to the intersection of La Costa Road and Stonybrook Drive in Louisville on Saturday to investigate a vehicle which had found its way into a ditch. Local news outfit WLKY reports …
Joe Fay, 18 Oct 2011
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Facebook wants to poke politicians 'who share our goals'

Facebook is looking to get a firmer grip on Washington by bankrolling its own Polticical Action Committee, which will back politicians it wants to be friends with. Facebook told political blog The Hill that the committee "will give our employees a way to make their voice heard in the political process by supporting candidates …
Joe Fay, 27 Sep 2011
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Truck nuts swing onto US freedom of speech agenda

The lower portions of the US are distracting themselves from the Washington debt-ceiling car crash by asking whether the use of "truck nuts" constitutes obscenity or is a question of free expression. The constitutional freedom issue has swung into the national consciousness after a South Carolina woman was ticketed for hanging a …
Joe Fay, 29 Jul 2011
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Bulgarian coeds exposed in hidden camera stuffed apartment

A brace of Bulgarian coeds have been left shaken after discovering that their Florida apartment was bristling with hidden spy cams. Vanya Samokovareva and Ralitsa Dzhambasova, both in their early 20s, came to the US for two months as exchange students, and were working part-time as waitresses before becoming "pizza babes" for a …
Joe Fay, 28 Jul 2011
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Vatican launches second website in just 2000 years

The Vatican is to update its notoriously creaky comms operation this week, with a new easy to use and doctrinally sound news portal. News.va will, apparently, be launched with a papal click of the mouse by Pope Benedict himself, doubtless leading to questions as to whether this will make the site the world's only infallible …
Joe Fay, 27 Jun 2011
channel

Opera boss walks off stage, citing musical differences

Jon S von Tetzchner is leaving Opera, the browser company he co-founded back in 1995 and headed until last year. The company and its former CEO put a bland spin on his departure at the close of last week, but this was rapidly overtaken by the leak of his valedictory email to staff and subsequent comments to the media. "It is of …
Joe Fay, 27 Jun 2011
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Network Solutions battered by DDoS and period features

Network Solutions has been hit by a DDoS attack which has left customers complaining they are unable to access the domain giant's servers. Reg reader Chris told us: "Multiple worldnic.com DNS servers are currently unavailable. Recorded message on the Network Solutions helpline (+1 570 708 8788) is putting the blame on a DDoS …
Joe Fay, 21 Jun 2011
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Commons hit by rash of laptop thefts

The House of Commons' perennial theft problem has become increasingly high tech, with sporadic thefts of computers in recent years turning into a veritable run on laptops, according to the latest figures. In a Commons answer last week, John Thurso detailed cases of theft on the Commons Estate over the last five years, for the …
Joe Fay, 14 Jun 2011
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Phishers LAMP web hosts

Phishers compromise LAMP-based websites for days at a time and hit the same victims over and over again, according to an Anti-Phishing Working Group survey. Sites built on Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP are the favoured targets of phishing attackers, the APWG report found, with between 76 and 82 per cent of respondents using one …
Joe Fay, 10 Jun 2011
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China goes on attack over Google phishing claims

China has angrily denounced Google's claims that it has uncovered a sophisticated spear phishing attack on key US individuals which originated from the heavily firewalled country. Google said in a blog post that the campaign "affected what seem to be the personal Gmail accounts of hundreds of users including, among others, …
Joe Fay, 02 Jun 2011
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BPI works out how to put PG stickers on downloads

The BPI has invoked the spirit of Tipper Gore in its effort to warn parents and kids when downloads might be offensive to young ears and eyes. The BPI said its Parental Advisory Scheme "will stipulate that UK digital music retailers and streaming services should clearly display the internationally recognised Parental Advisory …
Joe Fay, 02 Jun 2011
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Francis Maude goes back 110 years for cybersecurity strategy

Francis Maude kicked off his tenure as the UK's lead on Cyberspace Security by recalling the early days of motoring in the UK. On the day that Google unveiled another attempt by Chinese hackers to break into the email accounts of prominent individuals in the US, the Cabinet Secretary suggested that the UK could learn a lot by …
Joe Fay, 02 Jun 2011
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Ousted Egyptian prez fined £20m for net cut-off

Ousted Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has been hit with a £20m fine for cutting off the internet during the popular revolt in the country earlier this year. Reuters reports that an administrative court slapped the former prez and two other former officials with the fines over the weekend. As well as Mubarak's 200m Egyptian …
Joe Fay, 31 May 2011
cable

Intel to extend data centre tyranny into mobile, says CFO

Intel's CFO has rubbished ARM's prospects of making a serious dent in the data centre, arguing that whatever the chip IP developer is aiming at, Intel will be well ahead. At the same time, Stacy Smith insists that Intel will soon be eating into ARM's position in the mobile arena, despite the recent flight of its anchor partner …
Joe Fay, 26 May 2011

Tablet marketgasm? Don't make us laugh, say Intel chiefs

Intel execs poured cold water on overheated predictions for tablet sales today, pointing out to investors that notebook shipments still massively outnumber fondleslabs, and there is little prospect of that changing. CFO Stacy Smith and EMEA General Manager Christian Morales hit investors with a mountain of data at at an investor …
Joe Fay, 26 May 2011
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ASA smackdown for Yahoo! Thelma & Louise

The UK's advertising regulator has slammed the brakes on a Yahoo! ad which is said encourage irresponsible driving. The ASA received a complaint about "an ad on a login screen, for an email service provider, [which] was headed 'Faster is funner. Introducing the 2x faster New BT Yahoo! Mail. Find out more about BT Yahoo! Mail …
Joe Fay, 25 May 2011
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Big Brother man: TV viewers will swap privacy for content

The man who brought Big Brother to the UK this week painted a nightmare vision of the future where people trade their personal information for the chance to watch TV programmes. Peter Bazalgette, former chief creative officer of Endemol turned digital media investor, said old advertising models could not much longer support TV …
Joe Fay, 20 May 2011
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Schmidt explains the Google way to self-erasure

Google bent over backwards yesterday to show that it has learned its lessons and is really finally taking individuals' concerns over privacy seriously. Honestly. And while there were some tangible commitments, they were unlikely to satisfy the regiment of privacy activists, academics and bloggers the ads colossus had arranged to …
Joe Fay, 19 May 2011
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Mumsnet founder: Our members are 'very keen' on PORN ...

Mumsnet founder Justine Roberts piled back into the net-nannying debate yesterday, calling on ISPs to do more to guard their youngest customers while confirming that many of her readers are themselves avid smut fans. Roberts, who was slated earlier this year for supporting Tory plans for ISPs to impose wider blocks on content …
Joe Fay, 19 May 2011
The Register breaking news

Google's Egypt hero: Tech biz, keep out of Arab politics

The Google marketing manager who became a hero during the Egyptian revolution warned Western governments and companies to butt out of the region's politics at a privacy conference in London yesterday. Wael Ghonim also put the role of Facebook and other online tools into perspective, at Google's Big Tent privacy shindig. Ghonim …
Joe Fay, 19 May 2011