'Wandering Dago' tuck truck ejected from NY race track
The owners of a fast-food truck are bemoaning their ejection from a New York horse racing track, after the powers that be deemed its snappy name "Wandering Dago" a tad offensive to Italian Americans.
Wandering Dago proprietors Andrea Loguidice and Brandon Snooks (pictured below) had secured a spot to sell their nosh to punters …
Hooker in Dudley man's car 'just helping to buy tomatoes'
Walsall magistrates found themselves strangely unconvinced by a Dudley man's claim that a prostitute found in his car was helping him buy tomatoes.
Coppers eyeballed the "known sex worker" in Muhammad Ikhlaq's Nissan Micra in Walsall on 9 May, "apparently waiting for the driver to return from a nearby cash point", as the …
IT Crowd thesp eyes giant hot-air-filled FLYING SCROTUM
Actor Chris O'Dowd is backing an audacious plan to constuct an enormous flying 'nad sack - an "impossible to ignore" hot-air-filled scrotum designed to "combat the ignorance of testicular cancer".
Here's The IT Crowd man himself giving the background to the Male Cancer Awareness Campaign's "Skyballs":
As you can see, the …
Burger-rage horse dumps on McDonald's: Rider saddled with fat fine
A Greater Manchester woman has found to her cost that if you turn up on horseback to a McDonald's drive-through window and are refused service, it's probably unwise to then lead your mount into the restaurant and let it crap on the floor.
The unnamed horse-lover rolled up to the fast food outlet on Bury New Road, Whitefield, on …
Middle America pulls up sagging pants menace, belts repeat offenders
It's evident that despite the best attempts of Middle America to crack down on sagging pants - da yoof's low-slung kecks look that has right-minded citizens firing up the Twat-O-Tron - the US way of life continues to be menaced by trousers flying at half mast.
Back in 2007, the Louisiana town of Delcambre took up cudgels against …
How our shaken Reg Playmonaut survived a 113,000ft stratodangle
We're pleased to report that the intrepid Playmonaut who last weekend soared to 34,571m (113,421ft) during the test flight of our Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board is, although somewhat shaken, otherwise none the worse for suffering a dramatic stratodangle.
Our intrepid miniature pilot was …
Heavenly SPEARS gives LOHAN a hot satisfying BANG
The Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team has been sifting the data from last weekend's successful test of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board, and is delighted to report that it worked as advertised.
Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic SPEARS is designed to …
El Reg Playmonaut soars to 113,000ft
The Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team has just about recovered from last Saturday's successful test flight of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board, which featured a dramatic attempt by our newly-recruited replacement Playmonaut to break the Paper Aircraft Released Into …
Click here for hot live SPEARS test action
As we speak, the the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team is in Brightwalton in Berkshire preparing to dispatch the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board to the stratosphere.
If all goes according to plan, SPEARS will trigger the custom igniter designed to fire our Vulture 2 …
Watch LIVE tomorrow: LOHAN team attempts second pop at SPEARS
This afternoon, The Register's Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team will assemble in Blighty's Baikonur (aka Brightwalton, Berkshire) ahead of tomorrow's flight of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board.
Specifically, this is a test flight to check that the aforementioned …
LOHAN team girds loins, aims to take SPEARS to heaven again
The Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team is girding its loins ahead of this weekend's second test flight of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board.
Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic SPEARS is designed to fire the Vulture 2 space plane's rocket motor by means …
Your own £19 Pocket Spacecraft could be FOUND ON THE MOON
An international team of scientists, engineers and designers is offering mere mortals the chance to fly to the Moon for as little as £19 via the Pocket Spacecraft: Mission to the Moon initiative.
The boffins have come up with a cunning plan to launch a rack of slimline "Scout" spacecraft, specifically "flexible hybrid printed …
Germans brew up a right Sh*tstorm
Proof of the pervasive nature of the English language comes with the news that "shitstorm" has been named Germany's "Anglicism of the Year".
Our German cousins have embraced Shitstorm (capital "S", naturally, as is the local custom for nouns) as a way of describing "a public outcry, primarily on the internet".
The term rose to …
Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title
Take one upturned wooden boat, a few old old windows and doors, a wood burner and some 12V solar-powered lights and you've got the recipe for the 2013 Shed of the Year - a magnificent construction which saw off over 1,900 rivals to sail to the pinnacle of sheddie glory.
Alex Holland's boat-roofed shed
Clinging to the side of …
IT bloke inadvertently broadcasts smut on vast public screen
A Chinese techie who was supposed to be fixing a big screen overlooking a public square in Jilin instead accidentally broadcast 10 minutes of a Hong Kong grumble flick over the giant LED telly.
According to the Beeb, Yuan Mou kicked back to admire Forbidden Legend: Sex and Chopsticks on his laptop, blissfully unaware it was …
Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops
A Pennsylvania couple have been cuffed after apparently picking a very unfortunate moment to engage in an al fresco coupling. The luckless pair were arrested by not one, not two, but a whopping 25 bike coppers.
According to this report, Richard McBride, 37, and Jennifer Harvey, 41, were spending time in a softball field bench in …
Idaho patriots tool up to battle Jihad with pork bullets
US patriots concerned about "the ever growing threat of radical Islam and Sharia Law" can sleep sounder* in their beds thanks to an innovative range of pork-coated ammunition designed to dispatch jihadists directly to hell.
Jihawg Ammo's high-tech covering of ballistic paint, infused with "highest quality pork product made right …
LOHAN cranks up old-school clockwork failsafe
We're obliged to Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans for answering our call for suggestions as to just how a back-up ignition system for our Vulture 2 spaceplane's rocket motor might work.
Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic Our primary system is the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release …
Cultivated dope-smoking Welshman barred from own shed
A dope-smoking Welshman has been banned from entering the "potting shed" he used to grow cannabis, as he awaits sentencing on charges of cultivating marijuana and "possessing it with intent to supply".
Simon Redclift, 53, was hauled before the beak following a police raid on his home in Dinas Powys, near Cardiff, the Daily Mail …
El Reg rocket squad poised to select Ultimate Cuppa teabag
Vulture Central's pursuit of the ultimate cuppa is set to enter the final straight as we prepare to decide once and for all what constitutes the pinnacle of cha perfection.
Mug with our Vulture logo Followers of our resolutely no-IT-angle-whatsoever path to tea heaven will be aware that we've already established a brewing …
So, who ought to be the next Doctor Who? It's up to YOU...
Right, you lovely people: we've trawled through your suggestions as to who should step into Matt Smith's shoes as the 12th incarnation of Doctor Who, and it's time to put it to the public vote.
It's a mixed bag, to be sure, with some top talent in there more than suited to pocketing the keys to the Tardis. So without further ado …
Reg readers tumesce as they get their tongues round 'podule'
Our recent coverage of Brit adventurer Nick Hancock's thwarted attempt to land on the Atlantic islet of Rockall has demonstrated a growing reader penchant for the word "podule".
Hancock had intended to spend 60 days atop the remote granite outcrop in a survival podule, and the mere mention of this splendid term prompted one …
Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast
The splendidly monikered British Cheese Board has launched a search for the "perfect cheese on toast formula" - a quest that will nicely complement our own efforts to nail the ultimate bacon sarnie and pinnacle of cha perfection.
The board is seeking submissions from Brits, who have the chance to win "a top-of-the-range toasted …
Brit adventurer Nick Hancock postpones Rockall holiday to 2014
Brit adventurer Nick Hancock has postponed his attempt to occupy Rockall until next year after the cruel sea ended his attempt to land on the Atlantic granite outcrop last Friday.
Hancock had intended to spend 60 days atop the the sacred islet - some 480km west of Scotland - in aid of Help for Heroes, in the process breaking …
Reg readers: So, who will be Who? It's over to you...
The news that Matt Smith will walk away from the Tardis at the end of this year has provoked a veritable Gallifrey of speculation as to just who will become the 12th Doctor.
As we noted earlier this week, bookies William Hill favour Harry Potter star Rupert Grint and Russell Tovey from BBC Three's Being Human, naming them joint …
Germans purge selves of indigestible 63-letter word
A change in EU law has allowed the Germans to bin their longest word: the 63-letter monster Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz.
According to the Telegraph, the monstrosity was spawned back in 1999 in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, and translates as "law delegating beef label monitoring", in bite- …
LOHAN team regroups for second pop at SPEARS
Fans of the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) spaceplane project should mark Saturday 13 July in their diaries, because that's when our elite team will once again assemble in Blighty's Baikonur* for the second test flight of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) board.
Click here for a bigger …
Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits
Matt Smith has announced he'll be handing over the keys to the Tardis at the end of this year, leaving Doctor Who fans plenty of time to speculate over just who will step into the Time Lord's shoes.
Smith will bow out in a "spectacular" 2013 Christmas special, after four years as the 11th Doctor.
He said: "Doctor Who has been …
Sacred islet Rockall defeats Brit adventurer
Brit adventurer Nick Hancock is returning to western Scotland after inclement weather thwarted his attempt to land on the sacred islet of Rockall.
Hancock had intended to spend 60 days in a survival podule atop the Atlantic granite outcrop – some 480km off the west coast of Scotland – in aid of Help for Heroes. Speaking recently …
Sacred islet Rockall repels Brit adventurer's first assault
Heavy seas have thwarted Brit adventurer Nick Hancock's first attempt to land on the sacred islet of Rockall, and he's beaten a retreat to St Kilda ahead of a second pop tomorrow.
If he can get atop the remote granite outcrop - which lies 480km off the west coast of Scotland - Hancock plans to spend 60 days there in support of …
CRUNCH: 'Drunk' chap cuffed in high-speed car nookie prang rumpus
An Albuquerque man found himself on the wrong end of a cuffing on Monday after cops claimed he had been engaged in drunken rumpy-pumpy behind the wheel. Local police said he had jumped a red light, ploughed into another vehicle and then attempted to evade justice by hiding in a cactus bush.
Police mugshot of Luis Briones …
Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup
US retailer JC Penney is doing a brisk trade in a designer kettle after someone noticed it bore a certain resemblance to Adolf Hitler.
Over the weekend, a snap of a billboard ad for the "Michael Graves Design Bells and Whistles Stainless Steel Tea Kettle" popped up on Reddit.
The offending kettle and Adolf Hitler Spot the …
Going under the knife? Avoid Fridays. Trust us, we asked a doctor
British readers who have an appointment with the sawbones are directed to this illuminating report in the British Medical Journal, which concludes that you're substantially more at risk of popping your clogs as a result of surgery if they open you up on a Friday or a weekend.
That's the conclusion of a team led by Dr Paul Aylin …
My, my Pi, did it spy ya? Bye, bye Pi, did it go higher?
High Altitude Ballooning (HAB) head honcho and Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team member Dave Akerman has grabbed some spectacular images of Blighty from the stratosphere, using a Raspberry Pi eye in the sky.
Devon and Cornwall from an altitude of 38.9km. Pic: Dave Akerman Devon and Cornwall from an altitude of 38 …
Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile
Ex-Microsoft gazillionaire Paul Allen has acquired a V2 rocket for his Flying Heritage Collection.
First human artifact into outer space ... en route to London or Antwerp with a one-tonne warhead
The Microsoft co-founder stumped an undisclosed amount for the Mittelwerk GmbH Vergeltungswaffe 2, having found himself with a few …
LOHAN is GO! Reg spaceplane BLASTS OFF on 14 September
We're absolutely delighted to announce that our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) spaceplane mission is cleared for blastoff on 14 September.
Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic Yes indeed, ballocket fans, the time is almost nigh to dispatch the Vulture 2 heavenwards towards its date with aeronautical …
Space dogs and Dragons: A brief history of reentry tech
In August 1960, Soviet dogs Belka and Strelka1 - accompanied by several mice - became the first animals to travel into space and return alive.
Belka and Strelka seen inside the Vostok capsule Belka and Strelka seen inside the Vostok capsule
Packed into their Vostok spacecraft, the space canines relied on some venerable …
Hello, Goodbye ... to $408,000: John Lennon axe under the hammer
A guitar played by both John Lennon and George Harrison has sold at auction for a cool $408k.
The custom Vox. Pic: Julien's Auctions One Vox, yours for $408k
The custom Vox was build for Lennon in 1966 by Mike Bennett and Dick Denney, who handled the instrument's mahogany body and electronics, respectively. In September 1967 …
Rolls-Royce climbs aboard Bloodhound SUPERSONIC car
Rolls-Royce has announced it will back the Bloodhound SuperSonic Car (SSC), despite the company's "pretty robust policy about using our power plants in applications for which they were not designed".
Bloodhound will be partially powered by a Rolls-Royce EJ200 jet engine, normally found giving the Eurofighter-Typhoon a powerful …
Astronaut Chris Hadfield's Space Oddity ends in Kazakhstan
Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield is back on Earth following a 144-day stay aboard the International Space Station, which ended on a high note when the crooning spaceman released an impressive high-altitude version of David Bowie's Space Oddity.
Hadfield and fellow Expedition 35 'nauts Tom Marshburn and Roman Romanenko touched …
Ground control to major strum: ISS's Hadfield sings Space Oddity
Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield has marked the end of his stay on the International Space Station by releasing his high-altitude version on David Bowie's Space Oddity.
Cmdr Hadfield has been aboard the orbital outpost since December last year, and commander of Expedition 35 since March. He handed over control of the station …
Lego fan constructs Bletchley Park Colossus
It's a tip of the hat today to Lego fan James Pegrum, who's created a splendid miniature representation of Bletchley Park's famous Colossus Mark 2:
James Pegrum's Lego Colossus. Pic: James Pegrum James Pegrum's not-so-colossal Colossus Mark 2
Working from an original photo of the Colossus, Adult Friend Of Lego (AFOL) James …
Builder-in-a-hole outrage sparks Special Projects Bureau safety probe
Last year, I uncovered the perfect antidote to the internet in an entertaining dig-a-well project, which went down, well, well with those who subscribe to the tenet "man cannot live by IT alone".
However, one aspect of the project did cause a bit of a health and safety furore among our beloved commentards: the moment when …
Brit adventurer all set to assault ex-Reg haunt Rockall
A Brit adventurer is poised to occupy the North Atlantic granite outcrop of Rockall - once described as "the most isolated speck of rock, surrounded by water, on the surface of the earth".1
Nick Hancock plans to spend 60 days atop the sacred islet - which lies some 480km off the west coast of Scotland - during his Rockall Solo …
Colombian plods cuff jailbreaker despite on-the-run gender bend
A fugitive Colombian criminal is back behind bars a year after escaping from custody. Local cops are happy that they've got the man they were after, though in fact she is now a bounteously endowed lady.
Giovanni Rebolledo was slapped with a 60-year prison sentence last year in Bogotá, for a raft of offences including manufacture …
Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack enters the final furlong
My "Live Below the Line" quid-a-day nosh challenge has entered its final stretch, and as I wait for the Tibetan blackbird* to spread its mighty brown wings over the great white telephone, I've got time - and just enough remaining energy - to ponder what purpose the last week has served.
Before I do that, though, I'd like to …
Impoverished net user slams 'disgusting' quid-a-day hack
Since Monday, this hack has been subsisting on just £1 a day for food, in support of the charity Malaria No More UK.
The "Live Below the Line" challenge is an imperfect exercise, to be sure, but is nobly intended as "an innovative awareness and fundraising campaign that's making a huge difference in the fight against extreme …
Peeping Tom suspects cuffed after 'falling through women's toilet ceiling'
Two suspected peeping Toms earned themselves a cuffing last weekend after apparently crashing through the ceiling of the women's toilet in a Georgia cinema, having failed to correctly assess the structure's load-bearing capacity.
According to cops, Eduard Petrovich Kovynev, 26, and Eduard Alexander Kovynev, 27, allegedly climbed …
Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection
It's day four of my "Live Below the Line" challenge to survive for five days on just a fiver for nosh, and while things are going well overall, I fear a storm is brewing.
Since Monday I've been subsisting on a diet comprising pretty much just fried egg butties, chickpea stew, rice and tea - livened up with the results of some …
Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack forms foraging party
It's been a tough winter here in the mountains of central Spain, so Mother Nature isn't lending much of a hand as I attempt to sustain myself spending just £1 a day for nosh in the "Live Below the Line" challenge.
As many readers have pointed out, I should be able to venture forth into the countryside in search of free …
