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Gareth Corfield

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Stonehenge from the north east

Stonehenge's HUMAN ABATTOIR was just a prehistoric Burning Man hippyfest site

Comment of the Week: In which Vulture Central's very own backroom gremlins award you, dear readers, the Golden Vulture Dropping of Hilarity and the Wooden Twig of Fail for your inane witterings scintillating nuggets of wisdom. In reverse order this week, we'll be going through those comments which made both us and you laugh, cry …
Gareth Corfield, 13 Sep 2014
Derisive laugh

Oi, you don't work here, MR ANYTHING BUT incisive – get your grubby mitts off our commentards

This has been a glorious week in the sacred history* of this column: we caught a rival's reporter trying to use The Register's own comments sections to find a story. Enter stage right Jack Gilbert, a reporter with a website which we're not going to tell you the name of (why? Screw giving them free advertising, that's why) – but …
Gareth Corfield, 07 Sep 2014
Police outside 10 Downing Street. Credit: zongo

Warrantless phone snooping HAPPENS ALL THE TIME in Blighty

It's perfectly legal for the police to slurp up the phone records of any entity they take a dislike to, without any external oversight whatsoever, for the purpose of punishing whistleblowers. If you didn't realise this was possible, you've not been paying attention for the last decade. Earlier this week the Metropolitan Police …
Gareth Corfield, 06 Sep 2014
Bisley rifle range target. Credit: Darryl Stark

What do you mean, I have to POST a PHYSICAL CHEQUE to get my gun licence?

One thing the British state does well is waste money – as evidenced by its pouring of taxpayers' cash into millionaire model Lily Cole's online wishing well Impossible.com, or, say, fining itself hundreds of thousands for its pisspoor data security practices. Yet when it comes to firearms licensing, surprisingly few people see …
Gareth Corfield, 31 Aug 2014
Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/eddiedangerous/ licensed under creative commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ please attribute

'I think photographers get TOO MUCH copyright for their work'

Copyright is a basic property right. It's one of those fundamental things you just don't muck around with: if someone creates something and others want to use it, they should be paid. Everyone agrees with this - except for one Register reader... This week commentard JeffyPoooh caught a virtual packet from the rest of you for his …
Gareth Corfield, 31 Aug 2014

The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Some of you may already be familiar with our sub-editor Gareth Corfield's work as he is usually the man behind our social-media presence. You. Yes, you. Reading this now. You're reading this on a website where potential TERRORISTS operate. Aren't you scared? Why haven't you clicked away? You support this form of terrorism, don' …
Gareth Corfield, 25 Aug 2014

'I'll dance on their graves at 1 MILLION operations per second'

Welcome to The Register's new Comments of the Week feature. Here you'll find the best – and worst – of the stuff written below the line by El Reg's bafflingly diverse field of commentards. Just remember: we love you all. Even when your fellow commentards don't. The commentard who wins the “most popular” award this week is …
Gareth Corfield, 24 Aug 2014
Lancaster B.I PA474. Credit: John5199, Flickr

World's only flyable WWII Lancaster bombers meet in Lincs

Aviation history is being made in Lincolnshire today as the only two airworthy Avro Lancasters in the world met up at RAF Coningsby this afternoon. The two World War II bombers – one operated by the Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum (CWHM), the other by the RAF's Battle of Britain Memorial Flight (BBMF) – are due to rendezvous …
Gareth Corfield, 08 Aug 2014
Edward Snowden

Snowden is FREE to ESCAPE FROM RUSSIA, say officials

Russia has given fugitive NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden a three year residency permit after his previous visa expired at the end of July. Snowden's lawyer, Anatoly Kucherena, told journalists that Snowden's request for a residence permit had been granted. “He will be able to travel freely within the country and go abroad,” …
Gareth Corfield, 07 Aug 2014
Targeted Spam

Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

It's 9am. You open your email client and wade through the usual pile of spam that's dropped in overnight. It's boring and tiresome. But what if you could earn yourself a few hundred quid and kill the spam off as well? In a landmark court hearing last week, Sky News producer Roddy Mansfield won unspecified damages from retail …
Gareth Corfield, 05 Jun 2014

'Maybe I'll go to Hell, but I think it's a good thing' says plastic Liberator gunsmith Cody Wilson

For a man some perceive as an audacious libertarian who puts untraceable weapons into the hands of criminals, Cody Wilson is a surprisingly ordinary fellow, albeit one who gets quite animated about 3D-printed guns, Bitcoin and "crypto-anarchism". At an event organised by the Adam Smith Institute in London, the 26-year-old spoke …
Gareth Corfield, 22 Apr 2014
Sheep

IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground

An IT worker has appeared in court accused of trying to have sex with a sheep outside football club Tottenham Hotspur's training ground in North London. Paul Lovell, of Magpie Close, Enfield, North London, faces a charge of indecent exposure under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 as well as a further charge of outraging public …
Gareth Corfield, 19 Sep 2013
IT Crowd. Source: Channel 4 / 2entertain

Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

Cult sitcom the IT Crowd will return to Blighty's televisions in just two weeks, according to the show's Twitter feed. Fans of the British comedy show, featuring four downtrodden and socially inept IT workers in the basement of Reynholm Industries, will be delighted to hear the news that the one-off special episode – trailed …
Gareth Corfield, 12 Sep 2013
Ski the Santa Clara police dog

Finally it happens: MAN BITES DOG - after stabbing himself

A man who squared up to cops after a domestic disturbance stabbed himself in the chest three times before biting the officers' dog, according to reports from the US. The incident began at about 7.45pm when a deputy sheriff responded to a report of a domestic dispute in the Californian city of San Jose. The police officer said …
Gareth Corfield, 02 Sep 2013

Met Police spaffs £250m keeping 'ineffective' IT systems running - report

The Metropolitan Police are wasting £212m a year maintaining IT gear including a network based on a 1970s-era baggage-handling system, a damning report from the capital's assembly claims. A full 85 per cent of the force's £250m IT budget goes on maintaining “out-of-date, ineffective and overly expensive technology, some of which …
Gareth Corfield, 30 Aug 2013
Kim Jong-un

'Kim Jong-un executes nork-baring ex and pals for love polygon skin flick'

North Korea's tubby tyrant Kim Jong-un reportedly had his ex-lover publicly executed by a machine-gun-toting firing squad after accusing her of making a group sex tape. His former girlfriend Hyon Song-wol - also the hermit state's Unhasu Orchestra lead singer - was arrested along with orchestra boss Mun Kyong-jin and a group of …
Gareth Corfield, 30 Aug 2013
The Register breaking news

Comrade! If you dare f$%^ing swear on the internet, WE'LL SHOOT

Websites publishing profanities will either have to delete the offending material within 24 hours or be hauled offline - so says a new amendment to a law aimed at – what else? – protecting children. Another attack on Blighty's freedom of speech? Not this time. Instead, Yelena Mizulina - head of the Russian State Duma's Committee …
Gareth Corfield, 29 Jul 2013
The Register breaking news

Home Office opens up anonymised crime data API

Crime-conscious citizens can now view the raw data behind official stats website police.uk after the Home Office made the data freely available to download. The police.uk site, which got off to a shaky start at its 2011 launch, offers policing and crime information for local areas, as well as a Google Maps-based visualisation of …
Gareth Corfield, 03 Jul 2013
The Register breaking news

Yorkshire plods LOSE 9,000 GUNS in rogue BOFH database blunder

Bungling police staff at South Yorkshire Police have finally copped to a huge snafu in their firearms database after spending the last two months writing to thousands of firearms licence holders. The letter simply requested they "update their details". Bosses have blamed the database snafu on the actions of a sacked …
Gareth Corfield, 01 Jul 2013
The Register breaking news

Top Norks bone up on Hitler

Rotund nutjob communist dictator Kim Jong-un has been handing copies of Hitler's autobiography to his generals and ordering them to study it “in depth”, according to a North Korean dissident website. Although nominally banned in the ultra-hardline communist state, Mein Kampf is a firm favourite of the chubby megalomaniac - or so …
Gareth Corfield, 21 Jun 2013
The Register breaking news

Brits on benefits: 'Dole office site only works on PCs over 10 YEARS OLD'

Benefits claimants signing up for disability living allowance online are told they cannot use modern browsers, smartphones or even Macs. The Department for Work and Pensions' microsite - available at www.dwp.gov.uk/eservice - states that folks should use it for claiming attendance allowance, disability living allowance and …
Gareth Corfield, 30 Apr 2013