Jasper Hamill

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What a Mesa: Apple vows to re-use titsup GT sapphire glass plant

Apple has vowed to protect jobs in Mesa, Arizona, and told city leaders it will not walk away from its stricken sapphire glass factory. The future of the entire city of Mesa looked deeply uncertain after Apple ally GT Technologies filed for bankruptcy, shutting down the factory and axing 890 jobs. Now Cupertino has quietly …
Jasper Hamill, 19 Nov 2014

Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

American scientists have identified a mysterious seagoing virus which has caused millions of suffering starfish to "melt" into slime, strewing awful fluids all over the place. Boffins were baffled when they first saw the effects of the gruesome underwater epidemic. First an infected starfish's arms would fall off, before the …
Jasper Hamill, 18 Nov 2014

Sealed with a kiss: Er, 80 MILLION BACTERIA

Boffins have estimated that a sexy snog could transfer as many as 80 million bacteria every time a couple locks lips. A short smooch generally feels exciting for the humans taking part, but it's even more thrilling for the tiny bugs who take the chance to embark upon an exodus into another person's body. Some 700 types of …
Jasper Hamill, 18 Nov 2014

You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

Half of all McDonald's US touch purchase transactions are now made using Apple Pay, the fast food giant has announced. You'd think Apple fans would be more likely to buy trendy organic nosh at Whole Foods than walk under the Golden Arches to buy a supersize meal. But the iColytes of Cupertino are seemingly willing to do both …
Jasper Hamill, 17 Nov 2014
by http://twitter.com/Thomas_Glaser

Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Cupertino design don Jony Ive has claimed that Apple is not out to make money - even though it does happen to be the most valuable company in the world. Speaking at an event at London's Design Museum last night, Ive also said that bad design was "offensive", and criticised design students for using, um, computers. "We've …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Nov 2014
Assassin's Creed: Unity

Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris

+Vids Shares in the French games developer Ubisoft have dipped after its new game Assassin's Creed: Unity shipped with huge numbers of crippling glitches. Ubisoft's share price has dropped since the game's release on Tuesday, dropping by more than 13 per cent before rallying. Ubisoft is now frantically working on a fix for the …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Nov 2014
Ryanair advert featuring saucy schoolgirl

Japanese boffins build rounders-playing ROBOT SCHOOLGIRL

To our American cousins, it's a manly sport called baseball. But here in old Blighty, much the same game - rounders - is played mainly by schoolgirls*. Whereas in Japan, it's played by robots. A team at the Ishikawa Watanabe Laboratory at the University of Tokyo are developing machines which can perform all the same tasks as a …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Nov 2014

Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Members of the Folio Society have named the Bible as the most important book of all time, with Darwin's On The Origin of Species coming in at a close second place. The literary group commissioned YouGov to survey more than 2,000 British grown-ups and ask them which book they thought was the most valuable to human civilisation …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 2014

U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND

London's Silicon Roundabout is set to become a Silicon U-Bend as part of new plans to tart up the infamously grubby part of the city. Transport for London has launched a public consultation which will aim to turn this ugly traffic island into a "peninsula". The unprepossessing urban barnacle formerly known as the Old Street …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Nov 2014

WATCH: Rosetta astroboffin TATTOOED with PHILAE from the FUTURE!

Vid With a beard, garish Hawaiian shirt and hideous tattoos, the ESA's Dr Matt Taylor looks more like a hipster hobo than lead scientist on a historic space mission. But in spite of his questionable dress sense, Dr Taylor remains science boffin on the Rosetta mission, which will see the European Space Agency spaceship attempt to …
Jasper Hamill, 12 Nov 2014

MOULDY DICK: France aims to snatch EXPLODING WHALE crown from U.S.

French explosives experts have been put on high alert as officials consider plans to carry out a controlled detonation of a beached whale. The 15-ton beast washed ashore near Montpelier earlier in the month and quickly turned into a stinking and potentially dangerous mound of rotting horribleness. Dead whales are not just a …
Jasper Hamill, 12 Nov 2014

FALL of the MACHINES: How to KILL the Google KARATE BOT, by our expert

Martial artists and ninjas the world over could be forgiven for feeling a little nervous when Google-owned automaton builder Boston Dynamics unveiled a new fighting robot called Atlas. But The Reg can exclusively reveal that this new robot is about as tough as Dale Winton on crutches after our resident kung-fu ninja said …
Jasper Hamill, 12 Nov 2014


Pics The European Space Agency's Rosetta space probe is preparing to make history by dropping a fridge-sized lander on the surface of a comet. ESA has scheduled Philae's detachment from Rosetta for 09:03 GMT on 12 November, and the agency hopes for a landing at 16:02 GMT. But before this pioneering mission concludes, Rosetta has …
Jasper Hamill, 11 Nov 2014
Hangar One at Moffett Field, California - 1999

Consumer group SLAMS NASA for letting Google rent $1bn 'playground'

A consumer watchdog has slammed NASA for signing a whopping $1bn deal that will see a historic airbase turned into Google's space "playground". Mountain View has inked a deal with the space agency which will see it rent Moffett Federal Airfield for 60 years. The massive site is home to the Ames Research Center, where the …
Jasper Hamill, 11 Nov 2014
The MQ-9 Reaper drone in flight

British drones target ISIS for the first time

The RAF has launched its first drone strikes against Islamic fundamentalists ISIS, marking an escalation of Blighty's air war in Iraq. A British Reaper drone attacked a terrorist encampment near Bayji, north of Baghdad, where militants were planting improvised explosive devices. It then circled the area, providing real-time …
Jasper Hamill, 11 Nov 2014
Artist's rendering of the concave Vdara hotel

Feeling safe in your executive hotel suite, Mr CEO? Well, DON'T

Corporate bosses are coming under attack from a shadowy new group that spreads malware by hijacking the networks of luxury hotels. Kaspersky Labs' Global Research & Analysis Team has issued a warning about an advanced persistent threat designed by a crew called Darkhotel, who target top execs as they relax in plush hotel rooms …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Nov 2014
Peter Sunde

The Pirate Bay co-founder exits jail, now, er, free to eat vegan food

Pirate Bay co-founder Peter Sunde has been set free after spending five months in a Swedish jail. Sunde is better known as Brokep and was collared earlier this year on a Swedish farm. He announced his freedom in the following tweet: My body just got re-united with my soul and mind, the parts of me that matters and that …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Nov 2014

Online tat bazaar eBay collapses in UK

Online tat bazaar eBay has collapsed in the UK, with intermittent outages affecting people around the country. Users told The Reg that the community forums, messaging facility and the "My eBay page" were crippled. According to Down Detector, the problems started at about 9am this morning. An eBay spokesman told us: "Some users …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Nov 2014

Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' but you still have to 'SERVICE' them

QuOTW This was the week in which we learned that Apple shop staff have been ordered to "touch" fanbois – even though many the iSlaves appear to hate their customers. Angela Arhendts, who swapped life at Burberry to head up Apple's retail division, said she expected staff to "service" members of the public. "How do you make sure they …
Jasper Hamill, 09 Nov 2014

Brit cops nab six in Silk Road 2.0 drugs sting

British cops have arrested six people suspected of links to the online drugs bazaar Silk Road 2.0. Officers from the National Crime Agency made the arrests over allegations their targets had been selling drugs or working as administrators for the dark web narcotics store. All six suspects have been bailed following a police …
Jasper Hamill, 07 Nov 2014

HOT YOUNG STAR about to GIVE BIRTH, long range images show

Boffins have been left in shock after glimpsing the interstellar equivalent of a teenage pregnancy. Researchers used the Atacama Large Millimeter Array (ALMA) to snap super-high resolution images of a young star in the process of giving birth to a series of planets. The team who took the candid shot were shocked to see such …
Jasper Hamill, 07 Nov 2014

REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Apple iSlaves have joined together to publish a scathing indictment of customers who graze at the fruity firm's retail stores. A number of embittered Apple employees have contributed to a Reddit thread called Confessions of an Apple Store Worker, which was started by an anonymous employee called FruitStandSlave. Apple …
Jasper Hamill, 06 Nov 2014

Call of Duty, GTA V DO NOT make YOUTH more VIOLENT

Millions of people are currently preparing to settle down and play the latest versions of Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto. But when it's game over, will they then put down the controller, pick up a weapon and go cause some mischief? Absolutely not, if you believe the findings of a new report exploring the relationship between …
Jasper Hamill, 05 Nov 2014
President Putin doing judo

Russia to ban iCloud.. to PROTECT iPhone fiddlers' pics 'n' sh*t

The Kremlin is set to ban Apple's iCloud as part of plans to throw up a new iron curtain around Russia's digital communications. Anti-data-offshoring laws will come into force on New Year's Day 2015 that require all data generated within Russia to be stored within its borders. Apple's iCloud service has been in the news …
Jasper Hamill, 05 Nov 2014

Google Glassholes haven't achieved 'social acceptance' - report

Google Glass and other smart specs are proving to be a flop with sceptical consumers, the analysis firm Juniper has claimed. Juniper insists the "lengthy time-to-market and lack of a key consumer use case" is to blame for the lack of interest, which we think means that no company has managed to produce enough silicon specs, and …
Jasper Hamill, 05 Nov 2014