Kelly Fiveash

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Kelly Fiveash is the Weekend Editor of The Register.

Shuddit, Obama! Here in Blighty, we ISPs have net neutrality nailed

Analysis As we saw from Vodafone's announcement on Tuesday, competition in the broadband market is thriving here in the UK. So, should consumers be fretting about the fierce net neutrality debate going on across the Atlantic? The European Commission, steered by former unelected digi czar "Steelie" Neelie Kroes, would very much like it if …
Kelly Fiveash, 12 Nov 2014

Bullish Vodafone barges back into UK consumer broadband market

Vodafone is plotting to re-enter the UK's competitive broadband market in 2015 – with a little help from arch enemy BT. The mobile operator said this morning that it would use the Cable & Wireless Worldwide network it bought in 2012 to tout its rival service at Brits. That acquisition gifted Voda with access to nearly 13,000 …
Kelly Fiveash, 11 Nov 2014
BrickArms' Toy taliban figure

'Tech giants who encrypt comms are unwittingly aiding terrorists', claims ex-Home Sec Blunkett

Former, draconian Home Secretary David Blunkett – who held the post at the time of the 9/11 attacks in the US – has claimed that technology companies that encrypt communications on their networks are helping terrorists to spread fear. The Labour MP, writing in Saturday's Daily Telegraph, lambasted Martha Lane-Fox for telling the …
Kelly Fiveash, 09 Nov 2014

Virgin Media CUTS OFF weekend 'net surfers after embarrassing smut-filtering snafu

Virgin Media customers were hit by an annoying network cockup on Saturday, after the cable company's smut-filtering Web Safe system stupidly blocked lots of websites. Subscribers complained about the snafu on Twitter, where many people claimed that they could barely access anything over Virgin Media's network. Reg reader Red …
Kelly Fiveash, 09 Nov 2014
Original "Airplane" image from Paramount Pictures

Brussels' transport chief demands a single European sky to end 'air traffic gridlock'

EC officials are pushing for countries in the 28-member bloc to bring an end to "gridlock in the skies" above Europe, by urging them to be more flexible about national airspace. The EU's transport commissioner, Violeta Bulc, said during a speech in Rome, Italy on Friday that attitudes needed to change to address what she claimed …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Nov 2014
Alf Garnett and Else BBC sitcom - Till Death Us Do Part

Samaritans yanks creepy Twitter-spying Radar app amid privacy fears

A creepy, do-gooder app created by the Samaritans has been moth-balled by the charity, following a deluge of privacy concerns about the stalking tool. In a post on its website late on Friday, the UK organisation – which serves as an anonymous, safe service for crisis-hit Brits who seek advice and support – admitted it had …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Nov 2014

Zuck on The Social Network: Nobody wants to watch my REAL life for 2 hrs straight

Mark Zuckerberg has once again trashed David Fincher's candid portrayal of the Facebook co-founder's life in his 2010 film The Social Network. The 30-year-old, free content ad network boydroid accused the filmmakers of embellishing his time at Harvard University, when quizzed about the movie during the company's first, heavily …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Nov 2014
Total Recall outside on Mars scene

Eye laser surgery campaigner burned by Facebook takedown

+Comment Imagine fighting a big UK company for years for the simple right to campaign fairly online against an under-regulated industry. You go on to win a dispute resolution case probed by Nominet to keep your perfectly legitimate gripe website alive. You also successfully defend yourself against the firm's strong-armed appeals. Then …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Nov 2014
Alien world view in Interstellar

How Hollywood film-makers wove proper physics into Interstellar

Vid Youtube Video Having a theoretical physicist attached to a Hollywood sci-fi film proved to be a pretty slick move for Interstellar director Christopher Nolan, who worked with Kip Thorne from the start of the project. "What the algorithms gave us was extremely spectacular," Nolan explained in this short, neat vid about the hard …
Kelly Fiveash, 04 Nov 2014
francis_maude_flames_evil

Pitchforks at dawn! UK gov's Verify ID service FAILS to verify ID

The UK government has been forced to defend its gaffe-ridden Identity Assurance scheme, dubbed "Verify", after a public beta version it released failed to work for some farmers who tried to register for a service using the new system. The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, which has been testing the tech …
Kelly Fiveash, 02 Nov 2014
SpaceShipTwo launch

Dead pilot named in tragic Virgin Galactic spaceship crash

Vid A co-pilot killed during a catastrophic test flight of Virgin Galactic's SpaceShipTwo has been named. Michael Alsbury, 39, died in the tragic crash on Friday, while Peter Siebold, 43, was seriously injured. Siebold, who is the director of flight operations at Scaled Composites – Virgin Galactic's builder and designer – was …
Kelly Fiveash, 02 Nov 2014

'National roaming' law: Stubborn UK operators to be FORCED to share

Mobile operators in the UK could be forced to accept network-switching arrangements with their rivals, if legislation – reportedly expected to be unveiled this week – is pushed through Parliament. According to a number of reports in the Sunday newspapers this morning, the Department for Culture, Media and Sport wants to …
Kelly Fiveash, 02 Nov 2014

Curious to know if the UK's Tory-led government is a MEGA SPY? Answer: Yes

It was revealed this week that Britain's surveillance of our online and telephone activity rocketed since the Tories and Lib Dems formed a Coalition government in 2010. Home Office minister James Brokenshire published the figures on Thursday in response to a question from the chair of the cross-party home affairs select …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Nov 2014
Gottfrid Svartholm Warg

Pirate Bay co-founder JAILED for three years after massive CSC HACK ATTACK

The Pirate Bay co-founder Gottfrid Svartholm Warg was banged up for three and a half years on Friday. The jail term comes after the 30-year-old was found guilty of hacking charges by a court in Denmark on Thursday. Warg and an unnamed, 21-year-old accomplice hacked into the mainframe of American tech outfit CSC, which was …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Nov 2014
SpaceShipTwo crash

Branson on Virgin Galactic fatal crash: 'Space is hard – but worth it'

Richard Branson raced to the scene of a Virgin Galactic test flight tragedy last night, after the company's SpaceShipTwo crashed killing one pilot and left another seriously injured. In a blog post, the British billionaire businessman said he want to be in Mojave, California "with the dedicated and hard-working people who are …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Nov 2014
Google Chocolate Factory

Google boss: I want Euro biz to be BIGGER THAN SEARCH

Google's boss Larry Page is not satisfied with his company's powerful grip on the technology world and is keen to see the ad giant grow beyond its key stronghold of search, where it holds a dominant position in Europe. In an interview with the Financial Times, Page said that Google was considering changing its mission statement …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Nov 2014

UK.gov set to burn half a BEELLLION POUNDS on one-dole-to-rule-em-all IT, claims PAC chair

The UK government's deeply troubled Universal Credit omni-dole project is expected to lead to IT write-offs of more than £500m, according to Public Accounts Committee chair Margaret Hodge. In an interview for a special BBC Radio 4 programme on welfare reform, the Labour MP said that she believed money blown on the taxpayer- …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Oct 2014
Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies

'GCHQ's surveillance data gulp is BULKY and WARRANTLESS', human rights groups moan

Britain's spooks routinely rummage through reams of intelligence data from the NSA and other foreign spy agencies without first having to request a warrant, it has been claimed. According to the human rights groups that brought the UK's snooping agency GCHQ to court in July this year, secret internal policies unveiled during a …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Oct 2014
IT Crowd. Source: Channel 4 / 2entertain

US court SHUTS DOWN 'scammers posing as Microsoft, Facebook support staff'

The US Federal Trade Commission has shuttered a New York-based tech support business, after scammers allegedly hoodwinked Facebook and Microsoft users into paying hundreds of dollars for tech advice from Pairsys Inc. According to court documents (PDF) filed by the consumer protection agency, the firm was accused of violating the …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Homer Simpson reading on a tablet

T-Mobile US chief SUCKS UP to Apple, gently ridicules rivals over SIM lockdown play

AT&T has been getting plenty of stick in the US, after it decided to disable Apple's SIM carrier-switching feature and greedily grab a customer's new iPad for good. Now, T-Mobile's US boss John Legere has mocked his competitors, while claiming that his company allows consumers to switch between operators. In a series of 20 …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
ipod u2 edition

Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET

Elevation and Vertigo may be songs that hit the high notes for Apple boss Tim Cook's chums U2, but the same can't be said for sales of iTunes music right now, which have reportedly nosedived since the start of 2013. According to the Wall Street Journal, iTunes revenue witnessed a rapid decline of around 13 per cent to 14 per …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Rotten apple

The DRUGSTORES DON'T WORK, CVS makes IT WORSE ... for Apple Pay

Apple Pay has reportedly been refused by not one but two leading US main-street pharmacies - apparently because their parent company is developing its own payment system. According to MacRumors, the large Stateside pharmacy CVS killed its near field communications (NFC) terminals just days after it was claimed that drugstore …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Steve Ballmer

SHOW ME THE MONEY! Ballmer on Amazon: 'They're not a real biz, they make NO cash'

Vid Ex-Microsoft boss Steve Ballmer has attacked retail giant Amazon for failing to make a profit after more than two decades of trading its wares online. "They make no money, Charlie. In my world, you're not a real business until you make some money. I have a hard time with businesses that don't make money at some point," Big …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

Google roolz! Nest buys Revolv, KILLS new sales of home hub

Google's thermostat maker Nest Labs has snapped up upstart Revolv for an undisclosed sum. The takeover comes after Mountain View acquired Nest at the beginning of this year for $3.2bn. Revolv, which only hit the connected home market in 2013, announced the deal on its website. It abruptly added that sales of its automation hub …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

UK.gov pushes for SWIFT ACTION against nuisance calls, threatens £500k fines

The UK government is hoping to force through a change in law to lower the legal threshold on punishments handed out to companies that make nuisance calls and send annoying texts to Brits. A six-week consultation process was announced by the Department of Culture, Media and Sport this morning. Culture Secretary Sajid Javid said …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014

'ANYTHING BUT STABLE' Netflix suffers BIG Europe-wide outage

Netflix was struck by what appeared to be a fairly significant 90-minute outage on its streaming service late on Friday night that affected folk across Europe. The company coughed to problems with its network at around 9:30pm UK time last night. We're aware of members in Europe having trouble streaming on some devices. We are …
Kelly Fiveash, 25 Oct 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Facebook has responded to critics who attacked the free content ad network for contributing exactly zero bucks to UK corporation tax in 2012, by dishing up a a tiny sum of just £3,000 to HM Revenue & Customs last year. However, the £3,169 bill Facebook owed to the Treasury in 2013 was offset by tax credits – which in fact left …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014
A boat full of Fail

Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...

A number of Google services including Gmail, Contacts, Calendars, Chat, Drive and, er, Google+ suffered a midweek sag this morning just as Brits were downing their first cups of coffee. The ad giant's network appeared crippled to some users within the last hour. Register reader John told us that lots of different Google …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

Computer misuse: Brits could face LIFE IN PRISON for serious hacking offences

British computer hackers who severely damage the national security of any country could face life in prison under a new criminal offence proposed in the Serious Crime Bill, however the plan has been attacked for lacking legal certainty by MPs and peers. The Joint Committee on Human Rights raised the alarm last Friday, after the …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014

EU digi tzar: 'I like the nickname STEELIE NEELIE. Yeah, why not'

Outgoing Brussels' unelected digi commissioner Neelie Kroes was in London this morning for her swansong in the UK's capital city, ahead of the vice-president's tenure ending later this month. Steelie Neelie surprisingly remarked that she liked the nickname The Register had given her. When asked about the moniker, she said: "Yeah …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Oct 2014
Picard Facepalm

Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Yahoo! has finally developed a Flickr app for Apple's iPad – but the move has upset Microsoft Windows' fans who have accused the Purple Palace of having "selective hearing" about its userbase. The Marissa Mayer-run company, which bought photo-sharing site Flickr in 2005, said on Friday that it had cooked up an app for Cupertino' …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

Whisper's CEO Michael Heyward responded late on Saturday to claims that his company's anonymous messaging app was quietly tracking the location of its users. He admitted in a post published on Medium that Whisper wasn't perfect, but Heyward was quick to defend its business tactics, after revelations emerged that the startup …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

COMET barrels towards Mars, machines of humanity race for cover

Pic A cosmic rock that is older than mankind is expected to come within 87,000 miles (139,500 km) of Mars today. An artist's impression of comet Siding Spring's flyby oft Mars. Image credit: NASA NASA has been gearing up for the close encounter by hiding its satellites to protect the kit from being damaged by passing comet debris …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014

'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts

The Tory-led government is hoping to push through amendments to existing legislation in England and Wales to crack down on trolls who post malicious comments online. Justice Secretary Chris Grayling told the Mail On Sunday that tougher sentences were to be introduced in an attempt to try to curb such abusive behaviour. It comes …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Oct 2014
balaclava_thief_burglar

Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt

Facebook's security bods routinely trawl public "paste" sites for email addresses and passwords stolen from its users, as part of an effort to outfox wrongdoers trying to hack into personal data on the free content ad network. However, the Mark Zuckerberg-run company was at pains to point out that the data-slurping battle with …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014
NASA image of solar flare

NASA eyeballs SOLAR HEAT BOMBS, MINI-TORNADOES and NANOFLARES on Sun

Vid NASA scientists have unveiled data that they believe shows how the Sun's energy moves from the surface of the star at the centre of our Solar System through its fiery atmosphere. In a series of papers published in the latest issue of Science magazine, the astro boffins presented their findings from the US space agency's …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores

Apple has quietly removed Bose headphones from its stores, following a noise-cancelling patent spat that Cupertino settled with the music tech company last week. The latest move, spotted by 9to5Mac, comes after Bose slung a sueball at Apple-owned headphone maker Beats in July this year. At the time, Bose alleged that Apple had …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Nobody wants to look at your boobs: Snapchat gets ads 'that interest you'

Snapchat has begun serving up adverts to its naked selfie despatching users in the USA. The company said in a blog post on Friday that ads would debut for State-side netizens from today. The messaging service was understood to be something of a haven for supposedly self-destructing naked selfies – until that is when around 200, …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014

Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

Virgin Media has been placed on the naughty step by the UK's advertising watchdog following two separate complaints from rival telcos BSkyB and BT. The cable company was berated by BSkyB for misleadingly implying that Sky Sports had been included in Virgin Media's advertised price for its "Big Kahuna Bundle". Broadcasting giant …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Oct 2014
Monsters vs. Aliens image

Do Moan! MONSTER 6-day EMAIL OUTAGE hits Domain Monster

Updated Fed-up Domain Monster customers are still waiting for the company to fix an email outage that has been going on for six days now. In the last hour, the hosting firm has been forced to embarrassingly tell its subscribers that it was still in business, even though the outfit's email service remained titsup. As The Register …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Oct 2014
android tongue

Google AXES AndroidScript app used by 20,000 STEM coders WITHOUT WARNING

Google has removed a free educational app, dubbed AndroidScript, from its Play store, for breaching the ad giant's terms and conditions. According to the app's developer, Dave Smart, Mountain View abruptly yanked AndroidScript from its online shop without notifying him of the decision in advance. "Apparently we are in violation …
Kelly Fiveash, 09 Oct 2014

Three UK fined £250,000 for customer complaints COCKUP

Three UK has been fined £250,000 by Ofcom after the mobe carrier was caught giving up on moaning customers' complaints without resolving their problems with the service. The communications watchdog said that Three UK failed to handle some subscriber gripes in a "fair and timely manner". Ofcom added that, during the regulator's …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Oct 2014

Behind the Facebook DRAG QUEEN CRACKDOWN: 'Anonymity soon!'

+Comment Facebook is reportedly planning to release an app that will allow its users to hide their identity behind anonymous profiles. The apparent policy shift comes just weeks after drag artists in New York complained that the free content ad network was forcing them to ditch their stage names on the service. However, it's more likely …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Oct 2014

Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

Prosecutors in England and Wales now have access to revised legal guidelines to help them tackle the online bullying stunt popularly dubbed "revenge porn". An update to existing advice on communications sent on social media sites, such as Twitter and Facebook, was announced by the Crown Prosecution Service on Monday. Current …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Oct 2014

It's not you, it's Three. Mobe network goes titsup across UK

Mobile operator Three UK is suffering a widespread outage across the country after the service was abruptly halted by server maintenance earlier today. Customers began complaining that they were unable to access the network this morning. The Register contacted Three UK to find out what had gone wrong. Yet the carrier's PR …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
Speaking Clock

BT's consumer mobe network suffers tech snags – but telco denies delay claims

BT's return to the consumer mobile market is reportedly being hampered by technical difficulties but the company has denied that the problems could force it to delay its plans. According to the Telegraph, which cited anonymous sources, BT is continuing to wrestle with carrying voice calls and data traffic over Wi-Fi networks. …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
Zuckerberg new news feed

SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

Peer-to-Peer (P2P) payments code has been spotted in Facebook's Messenger app by Andrew Aude, a Stanford student: but the massive advertising company has refused to confirm it's working on payments technology. "We don’t comment on rumour or speculation," a spokesman at the free content ad network told The Register when quizzed …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Oct 2014
HP cloud

Report: HP to SPLIT OFF PC, printer biz from enterprise wing

Hewlett-Packard is reportedly planning a big break-up of its businesses, splitting its PC and printer operations from the company's corporate hardware and services divisions. The Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with the matter, said that the huge rejig could be announced by HP on Monday. One source told the …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014

Hiss-hiss! GIGANTIC SOLAR FILAMENT snakes around Sun

Pic NASA boffins have observed a massive filament of solar material snaking around the Sun. When fully extended the scientists believe that the filament – a cloud of stuff suspended above the fiery star by "powerful magnetic forces" – would measure some one million miles across from end to end. Solar filament (dark thread upper …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014

'Cops and public bodies BUNGLE snooping powers by spying on 3,000 law-abiding Brits'

Thousands of innocent Brits have reportedly been mistakenly snooped on by UK police and public bodies. That claim, which involved nearly 3,000 citizens, was made in a Times report (£) on Saturday. It was alleged that "Authorities routinely use sweeping legal powers to collect phone and internet records secretly". And there are …
Kelly Fiveash, 05 Oct 2014