Kelly Fiveash

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Kelly Fiveash is the Weekend Editor of The Register.

Profit-shy Instagram adds 5 new filters for hipster-photo types

Instagram has added five more filters to the Facebook-owned, profit-shy photo app. Unsurprisingly, the names of the new filters will appeal to bearded hipster types around the planet who want their facial hair to be tinged with an autumnal hue to, y'know, make them look even edgier when gurning at friends in moronic selfies …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Dec 2014
Sharon White, new head of Ofcom, former Second Perm Sec at the Treasury

Ofcom's new broom Sharon White sweeps into office

Communications watchdog Ofcom confirmed this morning that it has found a replacement for outgoing chief Ed Richards. Sharon White will head up the regulator from late March, on an annual salary of £275,000, after she ends her senior role at the Treasury. White currently serves as Second Permanent Secretary of the Finance …
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Dec 2014
TalkTalk YouView set top box launch

TalkTalk customers demand opt-out fix for telco's DNS ad-jacking tactics

Budget ISP TalkTalk has been accused of forcing customers to remain opted into a so-called Error Replacement Service that swaps NXDomain DNS results with an IP address. The option to turn off the system has been busted for months now, but subscribers are still waiting for TalkTalk to fix the error with the Error Replacement …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Dec 2014
Spam

Plusnet could face DATA BREACH probe over SPAM HELL gripes

Exclusive BT-owned Plusnet faces a possible data breach investigation by Britain's Information Commissioner's Office, after complaints from the ISP's customers about their email accounts being swamped by spam were dismissed. As The Register reported last week, an unknown number of subscribers expressed concern that their email accounts …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Dec 2014
Credit: Sony/Eon/MGM

Sony hackers PINCH early version of James Bond Spectre script

An early screenplay of the upcoming James Bond movie Spectre was stolen by hackers who ransacked Sony Pictures Entertainment's computer system, the film's producers confirmed on Saturday. Eon productions said in a statement on the official 007 website that a script had been leaked, after Sony's network suffered a massive …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Dec 2014

Hold the front page: Spain's anti-Google lobbyists lobby for Google News return

Anti-Google lobby group the AEDE, which represents publishers in Spain, has asked the country's government to prevent the ad giant from shuttering its news-scraping service. The volte-face comes after Mountain View threatened on Thursday to kill Google News in Spain, because it argued that a clumsy, new intellectual property law …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Dec 2014

Rosetta beams back colour pics: 67P shades of grey are SO HOT right now

Pic Astro boffins working on the European Space Agency's lauded Rosetta mission, which spectacularly landed a probot on a speeding space rock last month, have revealed that Comet 67P is, well, very grey. The ESA's OSIRIS team meticulously produced a colour image of 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko by superimposing photos "taken …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Dec 2014

Iranian CLEAVER hackers may DRAIN energy and defence firms, warn Feds

Iranian hackers may be sniffing out education, defence and energy targets as part of a well-planned operation, the US Federal Bureau of Investigation has reportedly warned. A secret FBI document dubbed "Flash, seen by Reuters, offered advice to businesses on how to foil any such attacks. It comes after Cylance researchers …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Dec 2014
Grumpy cat

Twitter co-founder: 'I don’t give a SHIT if Instagram has more people looking at pretty pics'

Twitter co-founder Evan Williams has attacked Facebook for getting money men too hung up on monthly user metrics. When quizzed by Fortune magazine about the recent claim that the Facebook-owned photo-sharing site Instagram was now used by 300 million netizens, Williams hit back at how the numbers were presented. He also – some …
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Dec 2014

Searching to destroy ... Bing? Facebook JILTS Microsoft

Facebook has killed a search deal it had in place with Microsoft's Bing. The move is unsurprising. In fact, your correspondent noted in early 2013 that the Mark Zuckerberg-run company was clearly shifting away from its dependence on the software giant when he unveiled Facebook's Graph Search product. At the time, we asked Zuck …
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Dec 2014
DDoS image

1&1 goes titsup, blames lengthy outage on DDoS attack

UK hosting company 1&1 went titsup late on Tuesday night and struggled to recover this morning, after claiming it had been the victim of a Distributed-Denial-of-Service (DDoS) attack. The website collapsed shortly before 10pm yesterday, and it has taken 1&1 a full 12 hours to get its service back up and running. Readers who …
Kelly Fiveash, 10 Dec 2014

Virgin Media's ad fibs EXPOSED by bitter rival BT

BT successfully convinced Britain's advertising watchdog to admonish rival ISP Virgin Media for "misleading" its customers with unsubstantiated savings claims. The cable company failed to defend itself against three separate complaints filed by BT, which had griped about five national press ads and one posted on Virgin Media's …
Kelly Fiveash, 10 Dec 2014

Facebook injects CREEPY search engine into mobile app

Facebook has finally deployed its creepy search engine on the US version of its app for iOS users. One of the free content ad network's product managers announced that Facebook's so-called Graph Search tech would be slowly rolled out to Stateside fanbois over the next few weeks. This comes nearly two years after Facebook boss …
Kelly Fiveash, 09 Dec 2014
The Zuckerberg comic cover. Image: Bluewater

Marky Mark & the techie bunch: We love you, China. Can Facebook 'n' Apple come over?

Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg, Amazon chief Jeff Bezos and Apple kingpin Tim Cook recently welcomed China's top internet regulator to the United States. Photographs posted on a People's Republic state-owned news website showed the tech titans heartily laughing and smiling with Lu Wei. Zuckerberg apparently greeted Wei in …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Dec 2014
Free Realms

PlayStation Network blasted offline AGAIN. Just not Sony's decade

Sony's PlayStation Network has suffered yet another outage: the PlayStation store went titsup in the early hours of Monday, UK time. Hacktivist group the Lizard Squad claimed responsibility for flooding the servers off the internet using a distributed denial-of-service attack. The PlayStation giant said on its Twitter account …
Kelly Fiveash, 08 Dec 2014

Virgin Media customers suffer YET MORE YouTube buffering blues

An unknown number of Virgin Media customers are once again complaining about YouTube buffering glitches with the cable network. El Reg understands that some subscribers have been griping about the poor service for days. And moany tweets aimed at Virgin Media are stacking up on Twitter. This is the latest in a series of …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Dec 2014
Parrot Ar.Drone

Drone in NEAR-MISS with passenger jet at Heathrow airport

An unidentified drone came very close to colliding with a passenger jet in the summer, an official report to be published this week will say. According to the Sunday Times (£), which has seen the Civil Aviation Authority's document on the risks associated with the growing popularity of drones, an Airbus A320 was involved in the …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Dec 2014

NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

NASA has awoken its New Horizons spaceship as it draws closer to dwarf planet Pluto, nearly nine years after the mission to explore the system began. Boffins at the John Hopkins University applied physics lab (APL) in Laurel, Maryland, confirmed late last night that the switcheroo from hibernation to "active" mode had been …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Dec 2014
Kim Jong-un

NORKS: We didn't hack Sony. Whoever did was RIGHTEOUS, though

North Korea has dismissed claims it was behind the crippling hack suffered by struggling film studio Sony Pictures. But a spokesman at the country's National Defence Commission said today that the attack on the company's computer system "might be a righteous deed of the supporters and sympathisers" with Norkers as they attempt …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Dec 2014
Fawlty Towers

Plusnet customers SWAMPED by spam but BT-owned ISP dismisses data breach claims

BT-owned ISP Plusnet has rebuffed concerns from customers who are worried that their email accounts have been compromised by spammers. Despite the protests, at time of writing, Sheffield-based Plusnet was yet to turn itself into the UK's data watchdog – even just as a symbolic gesture to placate subscribers who fear that a …
Kelly Fiveash, 07 Dec 2014
Ray Ozzie

Misty-eyed Ray Ozzie celebrates 25th birthday of Lotus Notes by tweeting about it ...

Software guru Ray Ozzie has been celebrating the upcoming 25th anniversary of Lotus Notes by telling the story of its development in a series of tweets. He first pitched the idea of an email/collaboration app to Mitch Kapor – the founder of Lotus – in 1984. On 7 December 1989, Lotus Notes was released. Here's a selection of …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Dec 2014

Cops accessing journo sources with RIPA? Use your powers properly, moan MPs

MPs calling on an overhaul of the eight-year-old communications data guidance for UK cops and spooks who use snooping measures have accused the Tory-led government of missing its own review target. The Home Office rebutted the criticism this morning by promising to publish a revised RIPA (Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act) …
Kelly Fiveash, 06 Dec 2014

Did North Korean hackers nobble Sony Pictures?

Sony Pictures has reportedly begun investigating possible hacking links to North Korea, following a savage attack on its network earlier this week. According to Re/code, which cited insiders, the company was yet to determine whether Nork hackers, possibly operating from within China, were behind the attack. As The Register …
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Nov 2014

Social media data is RIDDLED with human behaviour errors, boffins warn

Researchers who heavily rely on social media data when studying human behaviour have been warned that such information can be very easily skewed. Computer scientists at McGill University in Montreal and Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh said in a paper published yesterday in the Science magazine that trick-cyclists were …
Kelly Fiveash, 30 Nov 2014
closed_sign shut down under collapsed liquidation

Blackout Saturday: Oracle website DIES after mammoth US shopping binge

Oracle's website tumbled from the interwebs in the last hour but the cause of the outage remains unclear. The tech giant was yet to respond to The Register's request for comment at time of writing. A static message on the Redwood City, California-based company's site reads: This site is experiencing technical difficulty. We …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Nov 2014

Vodafone eyes up Liberty Global – report

Mobile giant Vodafone has reportedly been mulling over a number of takeover plans, including the possibility of scooping up cable company Liberty Global – Virgin Media's owner. According to Reuters, which cited five anonymous sources close to the matter, Vodafone could see Liberty Global's European operations as a natural fit …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Nov 2014

TalkTalk email goes titsup FOR DAYS. Cheapo telco warns: Changing password WON'T fix it

An unknown number of TalkTalk customers have been locked out of their email accounts for days, but the budget ISP warned this morning that its service was still struggling to return to normal. According to anecdotal reports on Twitter, TalkTalk's email system first went titsup on Thursday. The company was claiming on Friday …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Nov 2014
Rear_view_mirror

UK.gov mulls three-point turn on three-point turn thanks to satnav. Weeeeeeee. THUD

Britain's wannabe motorists could soon face a new driving test after the UK government confirmed plans to scrap the "turn in the road" manoeuvre and bring in satnav directions for candidates to follow instead. The irritating "reverse around the corner" manoeuvre could also become a thing of the past, with the practical exam …
Kelly Fiveash, 29 Nov 2014

Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Poll Vulture Weekend brings you this poll, after Reg reader Cassie got in touch to tell us about a really neat timeline depicting the evolution of robots in film. We couldn't help but wonder what other Reg readers would think about the robots that made it onto the list, as well as the ones that didn't make the cut. Naturally, this …
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
Files

'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

IP address-matching powers for police and spooks are to be pushed through Parliament with the blessing of the junior member of the UK's Coalition government, after the Liberal Democrats claimed today that the Snoopers' Charter was "dead". Home Secretary Theresa May The move has been expected for some time. In May 2013, it was …
Kelly Fiveash, 23 Nov 2014
London BMW 5-Series police car

UK's non-emergency police and NHS Vodafone systems go titsup NATIONWIDE

Updated Britain's non-emergency telephone numbers for the police (101) and the NHS (111) have collapsed nationwide. Vodafone engineers are currently attempting to bring the services back to life. A number of police forces confirmed the outage on Twitter, where they reminded folk not to "misuse" the 999 emergency number just because the …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Nov 2014

Yahoo! blames! MONSTER! email! OUTAGE! on! CUT! CABLE! bungle!

Yahoo! has apologised to customers, some of whom have been unable to access their email accounts since Thursday, after an underwater fibre cable was mistakenly severed. The Purple Palace blamed an unnamed outfit for the major mishap. It said in a status update on its website: We are aware that Yahoo Mail is slow or …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Nov 2014
Zuckerberg topless

GROUP HUG, shouts Facebook. C'mere and let us squeeze you more

Facebook's strategy of breaking out its features into separate apps continued on Tuesday – with the launch of a Groups application for iOS and Android. While more than half a billion Facebookers shunned the Messenger chat app that was spun out from the main FB app, the Mark Zuckerberg-run biz has soldiered on and built a new …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Nov 2014

GiffGaff spanked for clumsy attempt at mum-and-dad-humping humour

Vid GiffGaff has been admonished by the UK's advertising watchdog, after a publicity stunt backfired for being too fruity. The mobile network posted a video on Twitter that read: "The situations in our new videos are, well, awkward." The tweet also carried the NSFW (not safe for work) hashtag. The Advertising Standards Authority …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Nov 2014
FAIL

Ofcom tackles complaint over Premier League footie TV rights

UK communications watchdog Ofcom has opened an investigation into Premier League football TV rights, following a complaint from Virgin Media. The telco's chief Tom Mockridge said his company welcomed the probe. "Fans in the UK pay the highest prices in Europe to watch the least amount of football on TV," he griped. "Now is the …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Nov 2014
Objection!

China BLOCKS Verizon's EdgeCast before internet meeting

Verizon's recently acquired content delivery network EdgeCast has been blocked in China the day before the country hosts the World Internet Conference. The US telco confirmed on Monday that its service had been subjected to censorship in the People's Republic. EdgeCast said in a statement on its website that it was the latest …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Nov 2014

Holy cow! Fasthosts outage blamed on DDoS hack attack AND Windows 2003 vuln

Fasthosts' five-hour collapse today has been blamed on a Distributed Denial of Service attack and a security flaw spotted on its Windows 2003 shared web server kit. The company explained the torrid morning it had suffered in an emailed statement to The Register. Earlier today, after we reported that Fasthosts had gone titsup, …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Fasthosts goes titsup, blames DNS blunder

Fasthosts went titsup this morning after DNS issues blighted the service. Biz customers complained about the outage and demanded an immediate fix from Fasthosts, which has been responding to the technical crisis via its Twitter account. Others moaned that they were unable to get through on Fasthosts' support phone line, which …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Broadband sellers in the UK are UP TO no good, says Which?

UK telcos need to stop fibbing about the network speeds they offer to subscribers, consumer champion Which? demanded today. It said that British ISPs had a dirty habit of using "up to" jargon in their marketing – even though such a superfast broadband connection promise only applied to 12 per cent of punters. Which? noted that …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

Facebook, working on Facebook at Work, works on Facebook. At Work

Facebook's decision to hire engineers in London is apparently related to plans to build a biz-friendly platform that will compete with such products as LinkedIn, Microsoft Office and Google's Drive. But, until "Facebook At Work" is ready, Facebookers will still be using ordinary Facebook at work. According to an FT scoop, …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Nov 2014

UK digi exclusion: Poor families without internet access could 'miss out' on child tax credit

Brits who aren't online but are entitled to access to the Tory-led Coalition government's childcare tax break could lose out, it has been reported. According to the Independent on Sunday, which was handed a leaked letter to MPs from Exchequer Secretary Priti Patel, up to 200,000 families could be affected when the new tax is …
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Nov 2014

Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up

Virgin Media's broadband network suffered what appeared to be a widespread service disruption on Saturday – the second such weekend, packet loss blunder to have struck the cable company in recent months. Customers complained on VM's forum and Twitter about major performance problems blighting the network. However, it took …
Kelly Fiveash, 16 Nov 2014

Want to STUFF Facebook with blatant ADVERTISING? Fine! But you must PAY

Facebook has warned marketing types who use the free-content ad network to tout brands through so-called "promotional Page posts" that they will soon be extirpated. The Mark Zuckerberg-run company put admen on notice yesterday in a blog post that made it clear that Facebook will only allow brands to promote their own gear if …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014
Philae ROLIS view of the comet landing site from 40m

Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

Philae's final hurrah (for now at least) on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko ended with success, the mission's jubilant boffins confirmed late last night. The fridge-sized, plucky probot, which made the historic landing on the speeding, icy space-rock 300 million miles (or 500 million kilometres) from Earth on Wednesday, was …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014
Philae takes a first look at the surface of Comet 67P

Looking GOOD, probot. Philae good, humans: 'Yes ... YES! The lander is sitting on the ground'

QuoTW This was the week when a bunch of European space boffins made history by successfully landing a man-made object on a speeding, icy comet, after a few dramatic, bouncy bumps along the way. The Register's space vulture Brid-Aine Parnell witnessed the tense affair unfold at the European Space Agency's ops complex in Darmstadt, …
Kelly Fiveash, 15 Nov 2014
Dark Side of the Moon album cover

CityFibre FEEDS hungry EE and Three customers with DARK FIBRE

EE and Three signed an agreement with CityFibre this morning to deploy dark fibre backhaul links to mobile masts for the UK networks. Financial details of the national framework deal, which was also struck with the operators' Mobile Broadband Network Ltd (MBNL) joint venture, were kept secret. CityFibre said that lighting up …
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Nov 2014
Sky 3D football

Sky: We're no longer calling ourselves British. Yep. And Broadcasting can do one, too

BSkyB has ditched the words British and Broadcasting from its name, after the media and telecoms company completed its takeover of Sky Italia and Sky Deutschland yesterday. From now on, it will simply be known as Sky, but shareholders will be asked to approve the name switch at the firm's AGM on 21 November. Its company stock …
Kelly Fiveash, 13 Nov 2014

Google DoubleClick goes TITSUP. ENJOY your AD-FREE WORLD!

Updated Publishers across the web are seeing a huge surge in site load speeds, after Google's DoubleClick ad tech collapsed within the past hour. At time of writing, Google was yet to respond to The Register's request for comment. But its servers have clearly suffered a major meltdown. Readers who don't use ad-blockers because they …
Kelly Fiveash, 12 Nov 2014

Yorkshire man NICKS 1,000 Orange customer records. Court issues TINY FINE

A man who attempted to illegally access the passwords and login details of more than 1,000 Orange customers has been fined just £500 for his actions. The Information Commissioner's Office said that the 25-year-old company director Matthew Devlin was handed the financial penalty after he appeared before Calderdale Magistrates' …
Kelly Fiveash, 12 Nov 2014
TalkTalk YouView set top box launch

TalkTalk's 'unbeatable signal strength' and 'fastest Wi-Fi tech' FIBS silenced by ad watchdog

TalkTalk is the latest ISP to be rapped by the UK's advertising watchdog for telling porkies about its broadband service. The budget telco was admonished by the Advertising Standards Authority for failing to substantiate claims it made about its network. TalkTalk made the following outlandish assertion in a circular advert: …
Kelly Fiveash, 12 Nov 2014