Steve Bong

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Steve Bong is the founder of Bong Ventures, an early stage investor and incubator focusing on innovative new technology start-ups, based in Shoreditch, London.

Bong: Let me talk to Trump

¡Bong! The Mar-a-Lago Club is like the 1960s. If you can remember it, you weren't there. Let me be clear: I have no memory at all of any long, debauched evenings at the luxurious Miami mansion belonging to Donald J Trump. Not one. So that's cast-iron proof, if any is needed, of my uniquely close personal relations with America's new …
Steve Bong, 15 Nov 2016
Hand painted with EU flag shakes robot hand. Photo by Shutterstock

Refactoring Brexit: The Great Digital Repeal

¡Bong! The people had not just spoken, I realised as I woke up in the late afternoon (as usual) on June 24th this year. They'd sworn and puked up all over my Sayl office chairs, and pissed gleefully in my Puyehue water. The bastards. Just as I had warned you all before the Referendum, Brexit imperiled the very wellspring that …
Steve Bong, 04 Nov 2016

Los Desaparecidos di Disruption: The Final Days of Conservative 2.0

¡Bong! Special We’d been jeered, we’d been jostled. Overnight, we’d become un-people. Now in this dank, windowless subterranean concrete cell, I cast an eye around my companions again. Loyalists and traitors alike had been thrown together. Lords Feldman and Finkelstein. Matthew Hancock. Ed Vaizey. Oliver Letwin. Dangling by hooks through his …
Steve Bong, 20 Jul 2016

A statement from Steven P Bong concerning alleged CV inaccuracies

EMBARGO 15:00 7 JULY 2016 Recent media reports have drawn attention to alleged “exaggerations” in the CV of President and CEO Steven P Bong. These suggest he embellished or exaggerated his role in a wide range of ventures including military operations, Bitcoin and his ownership of licensed entertainment premises in Shoreditch …
Steve Bong, 07 Jul 2016
Yoga print - people doing yoga. Image via shutterstock

My plan to heal this BROKEN, BREXITED BRITAIN

¡Bong! [The following memo was found in a pilates studio in Shoreditch earlier this month, and forwarded to us anonymously. It is sourced to "BV Strategic Relations”, a highly secretive firm apparently registered in Panama, which describes itself as a "bespoke crisis management consultancy to governments”. The authenticity of the memo …
Steve Bong, 28 Jun 2016
EU egg timer, photo via Shutterstock

Don’t let the Barmy Brexiteers wreck #digital #europe

¡Bong! I have always considered myself an internationalist. Expensive Swiss private school. Los Angeles rehab clinic. East London loft workspace and incubator. My assistant มาลัย (which means "Garland of Flowers" in Thai) is from somewhere in Indo-China. My refreshments are Colombian. I am a borderless child of John Perry Barlow, of …
Steve Bong, 10 Jun 2016
Tesla was a bright spark

The Bong Diaries, Pt.94: Bowie, Martha... and where's my knighthood?

¡Bong! “Here in my Car. I can only receive I can listen to you It keeps me stable for days In Cars" - David Bowie and Brian Eno: “My Life in a Bush of Ghosts” Jan 1st Grand Cayman I scan the New Year’s Honours with some dismay. Previous years have been studded with digital recognition. Past recipients have included an MBE …
Steve Bong, 15 Jan 2016

Steve Jobs, The (real) Movie

¡Bong! I have been dismayed but not surprised to hear complaints that the movie by my friend Danny Boyle misrepresents the life of Steve Jobs, and contains numerous factual inaccuracies. Following our highly successful partnership on the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony, Danny and I worked closely developing the movie. Indeed, at one …
Steve Bong, 23 Oct 2015

Siege of Shoreditch was like Stalingrad, but with Froot Loops Bloopers

¡BONG! FRONTLINE DISPATCH Tsunami survivors say the first sign of impending disaster is that the tide goes out a very long way. One minute you're on the beach with water lapping at your feet. The next, there's nothing as far as you can see. That was how the start of the "Breakfast War” felt, too. One moment I was in the Jedward Twins' Cereal Killer …
Steve Bong, 02 Oct 2015
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Jeremy Corbyn: My part in his glorious socialist triumph

¡Bong! June 2015: The door to the modest Islington terraced house creaked open. From behind a black burqa, a pair of eyes gleamed with contempt. My Arabic was rusty but there was no mistaking the sentiment – I could discern the words “neoliberal” and possibly “analogue”, hissed at me in what sounded like a rasping West Country accent …
Steve Bong, 15 Sep 2015
Newspapers

FAO EVERYBODY: From the Legal Outreach Team at Bong Ventures LLC

¡Bong! [In place of Mr Bong’s usual reflections on disruption and innovation, we have instead received this from Bong Ventures LLC legal affairs team – Ed.] From: Steven P Bong, Founder and Chief Disruption Officer. 1. Inaccurate Reporting I am dismayed by reports originating in the foreign press purporting to “expose” the “ …
Steve Bong, 21 Aug 2015

Hasta la Victoria Siempre, GDS! This is not the end, no way

¡Bong! For Digital Millennials it was an epoch-defining event. Like the assassination of Kennedy, or the fall of Thatcher, everyone will remember what they were doing the moment they heard the shock news. Perhaps you were blue-skying a gamification concept at Second Home. Perhaps you were at The Trampery, teaching some visiting …
Steve Bong, 07 Aug 2015
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After #Election2015: How can we save Big Data?

¡Bong! Special The Skype window crackled into life, beaming a little piece of Manhattan live into my Shoreditch loft workspace. The ceiling, I could see, was decorated with empty vodka bottles and men’s underwear. A woodcutter’s axe, a signed souvenir from Marcus Mumford, formed the centrepiece, buried ironically into an upside down 6-core …
Steve Bong, 20 May 2015
Houses of Parliament in night-time

VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

¡Bong! Millions of Britons will go to the polls tomorrow for (we hope) the last ever analogue General Election. Several million more, many of whom share the same names and live at a surprisingly small number of addresses in inner-city constituencies, have already voted. I hope you will choose wisely tomorrow. As a successful venture …
Steve Bong, 06 May 2015

'Why Digital?' Seriously? You plainly don't Get It enough. Or at all

¡Bong! "Why Digital?", some of you occasionally ask me. Some get into more detail: "Why Digital, Steve?" It's a question that invites pity and contempt, naturally. Merely asking marks you out as a knuckle-dragging revanchiste. But sometimes I put pity aside; this is a brave thing to ask in 2015. So today, I'm here to help rather than …
Steve Bong, 06 Mar 2015

In the Year of Our Bong, 2015

¡Bong! "Why isn't there an Uber for Christmas?", I mused last week, as my assistant มาลัย (which means "Garland of Flowers" in Thai) basted the traditional festive roast of Royal Swan. "Christmas itself is a celebration of one of the greatest of all disruptors," I reminded her. "He championed the sharing economy. He was pursued by …
Steve Bong, 03 Jan 2015

Bong Ventures will NEVER bow down to terrorism: Our Tough Stance in FULL

¡Bong! Ten days ago we disclosed to investors and partners that a huge cyber-attack on Bong Ventures LLC and its subsidiary companies had taken place. This resulted in a catastrophic loss of confidential information, correspondence, strategy documents, and animated movies catering to niche tastes which we only needed for research …
Steve Bong, 27 Dec 2014
pikatchu pokemon

Bong Ventures LLC: We've been cyberhacked

¡Bong! Recent press reports have appeared suggesting that Bong Ventures LLC suffered a serious sustained cyber-attack resulting in the release of petabytes of confidential data onto the internet. We can confirm reports are true. In order to maintain the confidence of investors and partners, BongVentures LLC has decided to disclose more …
Steve Bong, 12 Dec 2014
Uber - living the dream

Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM

¡Bong! Extra Why can’t Old Media just accept we have it beaten, lie down and die? It’s taking forever. Nothing saddened me more this week than reading that bold new data journalism initiatives from Uber were being shot down before they had even reached Seed stage. My bromate, the Uber VP Emil Michael, has sent dead tree media Offendotrons …
Steve Bong, 22 Nov 2014
Pushmi-Pullyu

We must SMASH the Democratic Deadlock with MINDFUL EVIDENCE

¡Bong! “They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad,” the great Poet Laureate Sir John Betjeman once wrote. Harshly, I think. My own father, the late financier and diplomat Gilbert Xavier de Bong, who died designing the Richard M Nixon Presidential Library, bequeathed me many gifts. Not least of which is a deep moral purpose in life. “If it …
Steve Bong, 07 Nov 2014

ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG

¡Bong! [The story so far: Bong has summoned the world's most sought after enterpreneurs and thinkfluencers to Transnistria for the first Disruptive Mindfulness Unsummit. But... why?] The sea of mud stretched in every direction. Ancient, rusty Soviet tractor parts mocked us with their silent tales of record-breaking production …
Steve Bong, 10 Oct 2014

Welcome, weary digital titans, to the Disruptive Mindfulness UnSummit

¡Bong! In a pop-up mind gymnasium, 700 miles from Moscow … The warm, salty water of the flotation tank lapped gently around my midriff. In the total darkness, my three companions were beginning to relax. Snowden’s anxious gibbering had subsided into deep breaths. Just then, what sounded like an underwater volcano erupting resonated …
Steve Bong, 26 Sep 2014
ISIS Islamists in Iraq

No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate

¡Bong! Late last year, in a dimly lit meeting room... Outside, the chant of the mob grew louder, and ever more terrifying. “Death to the Jews! Death to the Christians!” I gulped hard. My assistant มาลัย (which means "Garland of Flowers" in Thai) gripped the table. Through the open window I could smell burning paper, and possibly …
Steve Bong, 24 Aug 2014

Evidence-based Tweets will SAVE the WORLD - and your waistline

The ¡Bong! Interview As every entrepreneur reaches mid-life, it’s natural that one’s thoughts begin to turn to one’s one’s “legacy”. Here, the Bongster has an impressive list of achievements to inspire future generations. I have made losing huge amounts of money not just respectable, but mandatory. I have redefined work as leisure. I have brought …
Steve Bong, 02 May 2014

Seven Great Moments in World Wide Web History

Web @ 25 + Bong [I am grateful to my assistant มาลัย (which means 'Garland of Flowers' in Thai) for scraping the BBC website to bring us these facts, which I have then curated. If you can remember any of this, you can't have been there – sb] 1. 1989: Nuclear beginnings At CERN in Switzerland, humble English white-coated lab assistant Tim …
Steve Bong, 12 Mar 2014