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Steve Bong

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Steve Bong is the founder of Bong Ventures, an early stage investor and incubator focusing on innovative new technology start-ups, based in Shoreditch, London.
ISIS Islamists in Iraq

No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate

Late last year, in a dimly lit meeting room... Outside, the chant of the mob grew louder, and ever more terrifying. “Death to the Jews! Death to the Christians!” I gulped hard. My assistant มาลัย (which means "Garland of Flowers" in Thai) gripped the table. Through the open window I could smell burning paper, and possibly …
Steve Bong, 24 Aug 2014

Evidence-based Tweets will SAVE the WORLD - and your waistline

As every entrepreneur reaches mid-life, it’s natural that one’s thoughts begin to turn to one’s one’s “legacy”. Here, the Bongster has an impressive list of achievements to inspire future generations. I have made losing huge amounts of money not just respectable, but mandatory. I have redefined work as leisure. I have brought …
Steve Bong, 02 May 2014

Seven Great Moments in World Wide Web History

[I am grateful to my assistant มาลัย (which means 'Garland of Flowers' in Thai) for scraping the BBC website to bring us these facts, which I have then curated. If you can remember any of this, you can't have been there – sb] 1. 1989: Nuclear beginnings At CERN in Switzerland, humble English white-coated lab assistant Tim …
Steve Bong, 12 Mar 2014
New_Jawbone_man

How AGILE DIPLOMACY will spike PUTIN'S GUNS

One by one the faces in the Google Hangout flickered into life. “It’s amaaaaazing. So amaaaaazing! It’s like I am teleporting!!” “Welcome, Professor Cox.” Another postage stamp frame popped up, and was immediately filled with many chins. “Terribly awfully sorry, old boy, I am, you might say, rather more au fait with FaceTime …
Steve Bong, 07 Mar 2014
Photo by Thore Siebrands Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Davos Diary: POVERTY disruption in ACTION. Cash-poor? Just mine a #BongCoin!

After last year’s fiasco in the Andes it was a relief to arrive safely for the World Economic Forum's annual gathering in Davos - which is a kind of week-long hackathon with fondue. Here, exclusively for THE REGISTRAR are a few highlights from my diary. Is it really 18 years since the great internet pioneer John Perry Barlow ( …
Steve Bong, 31 Jan 2014

The Bong's NEXT-mas Message for 2012

Christmas is traditionally a time of reconciliation, love and humility. So it's in that spirit that I am reaching out to all of my readers, to say... "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL: VICTORY IS MINE. THE BONG has WON!" I am aware that I have many critics: and many of you in the dying, meatspace world may not wish to hear this. For …
Steve Bong, 20 Dec 2013

The Shoreditch STARTUP SCENE is a load of TRIPE: And that's why it's GREAT

I was halfway through my third plate of organic artisan offal when the idea hit me, like a lightning bolt. In a flash I instantly blue-skyed the deal that will revolutionise British business. Here’s how it happened. It was a damp Movember Monday evening, and around me the scene resembled a 1920s misery memoir - as it does in …
Steve Bong, 29 Nov 2013
photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/maxbraun/5252873582/ Max Braun licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

Some news events are so momentous they instantly become burned into the memory - as irreversibly as an iOS firmware upgrade. For example, I’ll never forget where I was when the Berlin Wall came down. I was still a schoolboy: in prep school in Geneva, trying to buy heroin. But 23 years later, everything about that day comes …
Steve Bong, 15 Nov 2013
Photo of Jordan Hatch - newspaper clipping about employment at GDS

iPhone 5S, iOS 7 misery: Only JORDAN HATCH, 19, can SAVE APPLE NOW

The searing Syrian desert sun glinted off the Kalashnikovs. It was a tense situation – and about to get a lot tenser. I had planned to spend a chilled out August of mediation and blue-sky thinking in Aspen, but had been summoned on urgent and Top Secret business – on a mission so dangerous that even my inseparable assistant …
Steve Bong, 20 Sep 2013

BONG goes HYPER as default.gov POWERS the FUTURE

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am currently trapped inside a small magnetic levitation podule in a vacuum tunnel, along with several agitated dwarves. An NDA strictly forbids me from telling you that I am in a prototype of Elon Musk's Hyperloop. The dwarves are Elon's engineers and the location is … well, somewhere …
Steve Bong, 02 Aug 2013

Put the 3 Rs back in British Education: Infographics, Nextification, Chemicals

”The period of schooling should be shortened, education should be revolutionized, and the domination of our schools by bourgeois intellectuals should by no means be allowed to continue.” - Mao Tse-Tsung, "The Whole Country Should Become a Great School of Mao Tse-Tung's Thought", Editorial, Renmin Ribao August 1966 It is rare and …
Steve Bong, 19 Jul 2013
A semi-transparent airliner on the tarmac at Geneva airport

Exclusive: SNOWDEN and ME. TRUE MOSCOW story of OPEN DATA HERO

"Why a refrigerator? The answer does not, as some might assume, have anything to do with temperature. In fact, it does not matter particularly if the refrigerator was plugged in." -The New York Times. “Not piroshki again”, sighed Ed, picking wearily at the polystyrene tray. The greasy snack glistened under the harsh lights of …
Steve Bong, 28 Jun 2013
The Register breaking news

Can Jonny Ive's new 'iOS Vista' SAVE the BBC's £100m BRAIN? Yes!

"With physical products, we have to feel we can dominate them" - Sir Jony Ive As one of the world’s most successful internet investors – remember, I lost $51bn in just one day while at Woodstock Capital – it’s vital to have your finger on the pulse. Or your finger on someone else’s pulse, which is where my invaluable assistant …
Steve Bong, 21 Jun 2013
photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/maxbraun/5252873582/ Max Braun licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

At #guardiancoffee, we can now TASTE THE FUTURE through a PRISM!

"Everything reactionary is the same; if you do not hit it, it will not fall. This is also like sweeping the floor; as a rule, where the broom does not reach, the dust will not vanish of itself. - Mao Tse Tung from "The Situation and Our Policy After the Victory in the War of Resistance Against Japan" (August 13, 1945), Selected …
Steve Bong, 14 Jun 2013

BEYOND Marxism: What Google learned from staring Glassily at Norks

"We have to fight for privacy or we're going to lose it" - Eric Schmidt Eric’s face had turned a sickly shade of green as the Gulfstream banked steeply over night-time Pyongyang. Down below, the metropolis was almost pitch black, the sky illuminated only by the traditional North Korean welcome of tracer fire. It didn’t improve …
Steve Bong, 07 Jun 2013

I salute Lady THATCHER - Shoreditch's SILICON GODMOTHER

"No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had the majority of voting shares as well" - Motivational poster at Bong Ventures London HQ. I am dictating this sotto voce from the nerve centre of Operation True Blue at an undisclosed location in Whitehall STOP My assistant มาลัย (which means ' …
Steve Bong, 12 Apr 2013

Why I'm hiring the BRAINS and BALLS of CONSERVATIVE 2.0

"Our educational policy must enable everyone who receives an education to develop morally, intellectually and physically and become a worker with both socialist consciousness and culture." - Mao Tse Tung, On the Correct Handling of Contradictions Among the People (1959) There will soon be a new face at Bong Ventures. The UK …
Steve Bong, 05 Apr 2013

Arise, Lord BONG

What is a vanguard role? It means taking the lead - Enver Hoxha Enterpreneurs!! Imagineers!! Emergent social nodes!! I bring you great news. A New Britain is emerging - thanks to Conservative 2.0 and its Digital by Default thinking. The old elites based on profits, exports and industry and R&D are falling by the wayside as a …
Steve Bong, 01 Mar 2013
Google Glass

Roast entrepreneur: Mmm, tastes Just Like Chicken

"Thousands upon thousands of martyrs have heroically laid down their lives for the people; let us hold their banner high and march ahead along the path crimson with their blood!" Mao Tse Tung - "On Coalition Government" (April 24, 1945), Selected Works, Vol. III, p. 318. When I last filed an update with you, I was taking off …
Steve Bong, 15 Feb 2013

Bong: My DIGITAL KINGDOM for a HORSE

"Victory in guerrilla war is conditioned upon keeping the membership pure and clean" - Mao Tse-Tung Organization For Guerilla Warfare Chapter 5 MOCOA, COLOMBIA - Word reaches me from London that the snow is piling up on all sides, causing panic and giddiness. The snow is piling up on all sides here in rural Colombia too, with …
Steve Bong, 22 Jan 2013
Downing Street road sign

Baby Bong #businessmodel is my PRIDE and JOY

"In the Soviet suburbs of Hell and the blasted avenues of Mogadishu, I saw what our society could become" - Peter Hitchens, The Daily Mail The Bongster is summoned to a crisis meeting at No.10. Britain's skills shortage is top of the agenda. I enter the room, but I haven't even had time to place the large crate of one-litre …
Steve Bong, 30 Nov 2012
The BBC HD Testcard

Bong Broadcasting Corporation. Let ME replace Entwistle

"Our purpose is to ensure that literature and art fit well into the whole revolutionary machine as a component part, that they operate as powerful weapons for uniting and educating the people and for attacking and destroying the enemy, and that they help the people fight the enemy with one heart and one mind." - Mao Tse Tung. …

Catapults, subsidies, and benefits: Bongonomics explained

"Investigation may be likened to the long months of pregnancy, and solving a problem to the day of birth. To investigate a problem is, indeed, to solve it" - Mao Tse Tung from Oppose Book Worship (1930) JACKSON HOLE, Wyo. Greetings, fellow entrepreneurs! By the time you read this I shall be on the playa at the Burning Man …
Steve Bong, 31 Aug 2012
London 2012 - The Official Video Game of the Olympic Games

BOYLE and BONG: The secret story of my OLYMPIC TRIUMPH

"People like me sound like a lot of big cannons" - Mao Tse-Tung When Danny Boyle rang me out of the blue wanting to devise the greatest ever Opening Olympic Ceremony, I was in tears of joy. The chance to work with the man who wrote Trainspotting and brought Bend It Like Beckham to the world's cinema screens was unmissable. " …
The Register breaking news

Up the ZIL LANE to the Beach Volleyball changing rooms with BONG!

"Young workers, peasants and soldiers learn while they work, and so adequate attention should also be paid to their work and study as well as to their recreation, rest and sleep" - Mao Tse Tung: 'The Youth League In Its Work Must Take The Characteristics of Youth Into Consideration'; a talk on receiving the Presidium of the …
Steve Bong, 20 Jul 2012
The Register breaking news

My part in the GREATEST IPO SUCCESS of ALL TIME

[The founder of Shoreditch's leading VC investment boutique has been helping Facebook with its IPO - Ed] After a month in California on special business, during which I couldn't blog here or tweet, I returned to The Roundabout on Monday to hear that a naked man has been found eating the face off another naked man in the street …
Steve Bong, 01 Jun 2012
The Register breaking news

Standing NEXT to an HTML coder is like standing NEXT TO GOD

”The New Aesthetic has the ‘scenius’ of London’s Silicon Roundabout to support it. These people are working creatives of Bridle’s generation, with their networked tentacles sunk deep in interaction design, literature, fashion and architecture. If you wanted a creative movement whose logo is a Predator supported by glossy, …
The Register breaking news

CAPITALISM without PROFITS - Welcome to the Instagram Era!

Doubters, shut your mouths now - and nail them shut. Two great pieces of news from the US have validated Silicon Roundabout as the pulsating heart of a new British economy. And a whole new way of doing capitalism. Firstly, Facebook bought Instagram for $1bn. Instagram sounds like a coke dealer who turns up very quickly indeed - …
Steve Bong, 13 Apr 2012
The Register breaking news

TONIGHT, Let's ALL MAKE LOVE in SHOREDITCH

[It takes more than severe first-degree burns from a drug-related snowboard accident to keep our Tech Venture Capitalist down. This week finds him recuperating, and in a reflective mood - Ed] Where's the Bong? I've been away - but only to hell and back. Let me explain. It was all going so well in the sunshine at Tignes. The …
The Register breaking news

Snowboards and BIG DATA for WORLD PEACE

[After a minor accident snowboarding in Tignes this week, Mr Bong has submitted a shorter column than usual. Thank the Lord - ed.] Food Fight Fab.com's Chief Creative Officer There was the usual kvetching from backward-looking naysayers and cynics after Wired covered the Shoreditch Tech scene this week. The reporter disclosed …
Steve Bong, 23 Mar 2012
The Register breaking news

Take your hands off me - I'm a tech VC superstar!

Effendi, entrepreneurs! The Bongster is back from Texas! Every year, the brightest talent in Shoreditch's vibrant tech scene swaps the workspaces and mentor-ins of N1 and E2 for the sweet smelling grass of Austin, Texas, for SXSWi. And so did I. As the founder of ¡Bong! Ventures, I am the enabler behind some of the best-known …
Steve Bong, 16 Mar 2012