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Brid-Aine Parnell

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Neanderthal display in museum

Gene boffins: Yes, you. Staring at the screen. You're a NEANDERTHAL

Humanity is still hanging on to over 20 per cent of the Neanderthal genome, which influences modern attributes from skin and hair to nicotine addiction and diseases. Neanderthal display in museum Over 30,000 years ago groups of Homo sapiens migrating out of Africa started running into Neanderthals, who had diverged from …
Glass Collective

Google Glassholes, GET OFF our ROADS, thunder lawmakers in seven US states

Seven US states are looking into banning wearable computers like Google Glass while driving, shortly after a high-profile court case in California where a Glasshole got off scot-free. Cecilia Abadie was stopped and cited for wearing her Google Glass but was later let off the ticket because of a lack of proof that the specs were …
MP Margaret Hodge in the Commons

MP 'shocked' at failures 'at the top' of the BBC over epic DMI tech fail

Labour MP Margaret Hodge, chair of the Public Accounts Committee, has said that the failure of the BBC to realise that its Digitial Media Initiative uber-project was headed for certain doom went "right to the top". Hodge, who is due to quiz senior members of the Beeb again on Monday next week, said that she was shocked by the …
Three Huawei E585

Three-yaarrgh! Major UK mobile network's data goes down

British mobile network Three is having data issues this morning, cutting its subscribers off from the internet. Despite having no access to the web, frustrated users still managed to tweet about how annoyed they were to be kicked offline: This AM @ThreeUK rolled out their new 0G internet to a few thousand London customers. …
Peter Capaldi as Dr Who. Credit: BBC

New Doctor Who's new costume newly REVEALED by Beeb

The BBC has taunted bereft Doctor Who fans with the first images of their new Doctor, Peter Capaldi, in costume. Peter Capaldi in costume as Doctor Who El Reg won't hazard a guess as to how much Crombie and Doc Marten paid to be mentioned by name in the teaser, but while the new Doctor's dark blue trousers and white shirt are …
International Space Station

WORLDWIDE SELFIE: Cosmonauts finally get ISS cameras working

A second spacewalk to install new high and medium definition cameras on the International Space Station appears to have been successful, despite reports that one camera's data link was experiencing problems. Cosmonauts Oleg Kotov and Sergey Ryazanskiy stepped out to complete a camera installation job that was left unfinished …

Tech giants CAN disclose US spooks' data demands - but with heavy restrictions

Apple has announced that it received less than 250 requests for data from US intelligence agencies in the first half of last year after the Obama administration slightly loosened restrictions on disclosing spooks' data requests. After months of negotiations between the Obama administration and tech firms, from Yahoo! to Facebook …
China's Jade Rabbit moon lander

China's Jade Rabbit moon rover might have DIED in the NIGHT after 'abnormality'

China's moon rover, the Jade Rabbit, could be going gently into that good night after experiencing a "mechanical control abnormality". State news agency Xinhua reported the State Administration of Science, Technology and Industry for National Defence as saying that the rover was having trouble due to the "complicated lunar …
Image of HAL eye from 2001 movie with Chrome logo in eye

Is Google building SKYNET? Ad kingpin buys AI firm DeepMind

Google has agreed to acquire London-based artificial intelligence firm DeepMind Technologies, adding to its growing stable of robot companies. The acquisition was reported yesterday by tech news site Re/code, which claimed that the price tag for the firm was $400m (£241m). Google was not commenting on the deal. According to …
Klingons

A real life Romulan-Klingon alliance: Google, Samsung sign global patent pact

Google and Samsung have strengthened their positions in the Great Patent Wars against Apple by signing a global cross-licensing deal with each other. The Android buddies have agreed to license any and all current IP as well as any patents filed in the next 10 years with each other for undisclosed financial terms. The firms said …

Icahn slurps another $500m in Apple shares, demands buyback AGAIN

Activist investor Carl Icahn has yet again called on Apple to start scooping a few handfuls off its mountain of cash and handing it back to shareholders. His latest call came after he upped his stake in the fruity firm by a whopping $500m. The agitating stockholder tweeted that he'd upped his share of the fruity firm to $3.6bn …
Googorola logo

Patent-holding firm's lawsuit against Googorola kicks off

Patent-holding firm Intellectual Ventures kicked off its lawsuit against Googorola yesterday, in a case of tech giant versus the "we're-not-a-patent-troll" IP licensing firm. The company set up by former Microsoft CTO Nathan Myhrvold is suing Google's Motorola division over three patents it holds which cover mobile phone and …
MP Margaret Hodge in the Commons

Margaret Hodge, PAC are scaring off new biz: Treasury source

The UK's Treasury Department is said to be ticked off by the Public Accounts Committee and its vocal chair MP Margaret Hodge for scaring companies off Blighty with their investigations into multinationals' corporation taxes. Sources in the department told the BBC and the Daily Mail that senior ministers had been warned by …

'I don't understand why they feel like they own the word CANDY'

This was the week when remote access app LogMeIn pulled its free version, uniting freeboards in a resounding cry of "Hell no! We don't pay for stuff on the internet!" The app may not have had quite the poor reception to its announcement of going from free to not-free if it hadn't a) been providing its service gratis for TEN …
Facebook

Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

The internet has seized with glee on a Princeton research paper that suggests Facebook will be a virtually abandoned, tumbleweed-riddled corner of the web by 2017, when the social network's "outbreak" will have run its course. Princeton PhD students Joshua Spechler and Johan Cannarella used epidemiological modelling, …

Thanks for suggesting eBay should flog PayPal. It's not happening, CEO tells Carl Icahn

eBay has rejected a call from activist investor Carl Icahn to spin off its PayPal division into a separate company. John Donahoe, chief exec of the online marketplace, said that he had spoken with Icahn but the board and management believed that eBay and PayPal would do better if they stayed together. "The synergies are clear …
School of Rock

UK.gov recruiting 400 crack CompSci experts to go into teaching

The UK government is planning to use a network of 400 "master teachers" of computer science to train up other teachers and deliver a new tech curriculum in English schools. The sensei will be "right at the top of their computer science game", the education secretary Michael Gove said in a speech at the Bett Learning Technology …
Candy Crush Saga

Candy Crush King went 'too far' when it candy crushed my app – dev

The developer behind the Candy Slots iOS game has said Candy Crush Saga-maker King has gone "too far" with its enforcement of its trademark on the word CANDY. Candy Slots icon and Candy Crush icon The icons of Candy Slots and Candy Crush Slots programmer Benny Hsu was surprised to find an email in his inbox yesterday from …
IBM CEO Ginni Rometty

IBM's top brass forgo bonuses after drop in yearly profits

IBM's top execs are forgoing their bonuses this year after a five per cent drop in sales and a per cent dip in net profit. Chief executive Ginni Rometty and other senior management will graciously eschew their presumably performance-related bonuses since the company's performance has not been all that great, particularly in its …
Cat yawning

Our robot overlords won't be evil cyborgs: Prepare for whisker-equipped ROBO-KITTIES

Given the world's (bizarre) fondness for all things feline, folks will no doubt be delighted to discover that our robot overlords could be whiskery robot cats instead of creepy robot humanoids. Cat yawning That was doubtless what was going through the mind of boffins at Berkeley Lab and the University of California when they …
Youku screenshot

China forces users to upload videos under their real names

Any Chinese netizens who want to post videos to Chinese sites online will have to do so under their real names from now on, the official regulator has said. China's State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television said on its website that the requirement is designed to "prevent vulgar content, base art …
On-edge view of the Milky Way's star formation

Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

New data from the European Space Agency's Gaia-ESO project has confirmed that the Milky Way galaxy grew from the inside out, backing up theories espoused in the standard model of the Big Bang. On-edge view of the Milky Way's star formation Right after the Universe exploded into existence, it was made up almost entirely of …

Intel offloads home-grown internet TV system to Verizon

Intel has managed to offload its pay-TV startup OnCue, after deciding last year it would rather sell it off than try to launch the service itself. Chipzilla's offshoot, now called Intel Media, has gone to Verizon Communications, the second-largest telco in the US, which plans to merge it into its existing internet telly offering …
Large Hadron Collider Pop-up Book

Hadron Collider urinal cake tale wins El Reg's LHC book giveaway

Entrants to our soaraway somewhat-Hadron-Collider-themed writing competition have been biting their nails all week, desperate to know who has scooped the awesome "Large Hadron Collider Pop-Up Book: Voyage to the Heart of the Matter" prize. But now, their wait is over. The Reg can announce that the winner of a gleaming free copy …
Spooky angel doll

Hey, G20. Please knock it off with the whole tax loophole thing - we're good guys, really

A tech lobbying group has written to the OECD to try and stop the G20's efforts to close loopholes that let international firms legally avoid some of their taxes. The Digital Economy Group's letter was published by the think-tank along with other documents both for and against reforms to international tax laws, ahead of a …
Bumble bee

Your squirty insecticides make bumblebees SHRINK, warn boffins

Bumblebees could be shrinking because of exposure to a widely-used pesticide, according to new research. Bumble bee Boffins from the Royal Holloway University in London reckon that running into the pyrethroid pesticide - used on flowering crops to prevent insect damage - all the time could be causing individual worker bees to …
management management1

HP clinches six week extension on whether to join shareholders' suit against Autonomy

HP has said that it has made decisions about how to proceed with a case brought by its shareholders over the $8.8bn writedown for the acquisition of Autonomy – but it wants six more weeks to mull them over. The company was given until last Friday to think about recommendations by a committee of independent directors over the …

Apple badmouthing of court's monitor proves it NEEDS him - judge

Apple's objections to its court-appointed antitrust monitor show exactly why the fruity firm needs an outsider keeping watch on its competition practices, the judge in the case has said. US District Judge Denise Cote released a full opinion on why Apple needs the monitor after deciding on Tuesday to reject the company's bid to …
EE 4G banner

EE owners: Yeah, we're cool with things as they are... IPO? Nah, not really

The owners of Blighty's EE mobile operator have said that they're going to hang onto the company for now, delaying potential plans to float the firm or sell off their stakes. Germany's Deutsche Telekom and France's Orange said they want to maintain the current management structure of the joint venture, which was created in 2010 …
Steve Wozniak

'Xiaomi is good enough to break the American market' - Apple's Woz

This was the week when Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak rather bizarrely backed a Chinese firm that's been roundly mocked for emulating the fruity firm. Apparently Xiaomi, dubbed the Apple of the Far East, is so similar to the fruity firm that its founder Lei Jun even appears in Steve Jobs-esque attire of black shirt and blue …
Artist's impression of an exoplanet orbiting a star in the cluster Messier 67

Boffins find ALIEN WORLD orbiting the Sun's LONG LOST TWIN

Boffins have located an alien world orbiting a solar twin to our own Sun for the first time. Artist's impression of an exoplanet orbiting a star in the cluster Messier 67 Astronomers using the European Southern Observatory's HARPS planet hunter in Chile and other telescopes around the world have found three such planets in …
warehouse interior - wide aisle, big shelves

Amazon workers in Delaware reject trade union membership

A small number of Amazon warehouse workers in Delaware have voted against joining a union, which claims that the employees were under pressure from the firm to stay away from third-party representation. In a vote administered by the National Labour Relations Board (NLRB), the Amazon staff voted 21 to six against joining the …

Wells Fargo gathers bank 'n' gov bigwigs to discuss Bitcoin 'rules'

America's biggest bank, Wells Fargo, has called together finance execs, virtual currency experts and US government officials to talk about the "rules of engagement" when it comes to virtual money Bitcoin. The bank's anti-money laundering chief, Jim Richards, has started a group to investigate potential Bitcoin services or …
Doomsday clock

DOOMSDAY still just MINUTES AWAY: As it has been since 1947

Top boffins have refused to shift the quivering minute hand of technological Armageddon from its position at five minutes to midnight on the Doomsday Clock. The iconic indicator of impending doom, which was created by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists in the wake of the WWII Manhattan Project, measures humanity's proximity …
Inside Intel Penang factory

Intel shutters BRAND NEW chip factory as PC market storm rages

Intel is going to leave a massive new multibillion-dollar chip factory empty in Arizona as the slump in the PC market continues. Intel told local paper the Arizona Republic that the factory known as Fab 42 would remain closed for the foreseeable future, but it would be used at some point. “It will be used for future …
Photograph 12

EU pulls out antitrust probe, prods Euro pay-TV contracts

The EU is launching an anti-competition probe of major Hollywood studios and Europe's biggest pay-TV networks over their exclusive licensing deals. The European Commission's antitrust division said it was looking into the territorially exclusive contracts to see if they stopped broadcasters from being able to offer their …
management regulation8

EMEA prez James Heard exits internet backbone biz Level 3

The EMEA regional president of internet network operator Level 3 Communications is leaving the company after a year in which the company axed five per cent of its British workforce and 700 employees worldwide. Chief financial officer Sunit Patel will be serving as interim regional head on top of his usual duties until the firm …
Angry woman on mobile

Chuh! 'Grossly inadequate': Time Warner Cable rejects $62bn hostile takeover bid

Time Warner Cable has rejected a hostile takeover bid from Charter Communications, calling its $62bn offer "grossly inadequate". Charter yesterday formally offered to buy up its rival for $132.50 a share, including $83 in cash and the rest in its own stock, after months of acquisition talks between the companies. But Time …
management regulation1

Apple fails to shake antitrust watchdog loose, receives judge slapdown

Apple has lost its bid to get rid of the antitrust monitor installed by the court after it was found guilty of conspiring to fix ebook prices. The fruity firm has complained about the chosen monitor, Michael Bromwich, more or less since he started, claiming that his fees are too high and that he's trying to do far more …
Google Play Store

Think your brilliant app idea will earn some big bucks? HAH. You fool

Fewer than one in ten thousand mobile apps are actually going to make any money for their developers in the next couple of years, beancounters at Gartner have warned. Both Google's Play Store and Apple's App Store have over a million apps and games available to download, forcing people to look at recommendations, social networks …

Large Hadron Collider competition: VOTE NOW to choose the WINNER

The call for Reg readers to put their most inventive hats on and summon up short stories of the most evil genius or the most awesome hero that could be spawned with the aid of the Large Hadron Collider went out - and it was answered. In a bid to lay hands on the truly incredible "Large Hadron Collider Pop-Up Book: Voyage to the …
The Hubble mosaic, spanning a width of 600 light-years, of a star factory of more the 800,000 stars being born inside the Tarantula Nebula.

Hubble 'scope snaps 600-LIGHT-YEAR-wide pic of star-spawning nebula

The Hubble Space Telescope has had a peek behind the clouds of frenzied star-birthing supercluster the Tarantula Nebula, the nearest observable laboratory of the kind of star-making that was common in the early Universe. The Hubble mosaic, spanning a width of 600 light-years, of a star factory of more the 800,000 stars being …
A montage of the galactic centre by the Swift X-ray Telescope from 2006-2013. Credit: Nathalie Degenaar

Supermassive BLACK HOLE to stuff MYSTERY gas BLOB into open maw

At the centre of our galaxy, a black hole could be about to chow down on one of the biggest meals it's ever had - a mysterious gas cloud around three times the mass of Earth. A montage of the galactic centre by the Swift X-ray Telescope from 2006-2013. Credit: Nathalie Degenaar A montage of the galactic centre by the Swift X- …
Santa Claus on his laptop

Nearly 1 in 5 of UK's Xmas gifts were bought online... not that it helped

A record number of Blighty's shoppers were browsing and buying online for Christmas, but their frenzied clicking wasn't enough to lift total retail sales by even a single per cent, the British Retail Consortium said. According to a BRC and KPMG survey, nearly one in five of all retail stuff bought was picked up from the comfort …

Qualcomm chief: Why is China probing us? We haven't a clue

Qualcomm's chief still has no idea why the chipmaker is being investigated by antitrust regulators in China, he told Reuters today. In November, the chipmaker said that China's National Development and Reform Commission (NDRC) had started a probe of the firm, but added that it wasn't aware of any violations. "We really don't …

Fairfax shovels another $250m into buying BlackBerry debt

BlackBerry backer Fairfax Financial is set to buy another $250m of its convertible debentures, which should give the ailing mobile firm a much-needed shot in the arm. The companies said that Fairfax's generosity was part of an additional debenture option as part of BlackBerry's successful placement of $1bn worth of debentures …
HP Autonomy homepage screen

US Air Force turns up dubious Autonomy accounting in reseller contracts probe

An investigation by the US Air Force into alleged accounting irregularities at Micro Technologies has unexpectedly dragged all that nasty business between HP and Autonomy back into the limelight. The USAF has been looking into MicroTech, which does a lot of business with government agencies – and, crucially, resells Autonomy …

Human overlord Watson lives in the 'clouds' now, in a $1bn cognition unit. Don't be afraid

IBM has said that it wants to throw more than a billion dollars at powerful cognition overlord and Jeopardy!-playing human crusher Watson... so that the supercomputer can become a new business unit. The Watson Group will be headed up by Big Blue's former senior veep of software solutions Michael Rhodin and will try to milk some …
Nintendo 3DS

Let's-a go: Nintendo shares spike as China says yes to foreign console sales

Shares in Nintendo jumped over 10 per cent in Tokyo to a two-and-a-half year high after China said that it would lift a ban on sales of foreign game consoles. China has forbidden consoles in the country for the last 13 years, but officially announced yesterday that "gaming entertainment" would be allowed to go on sale in the …
Long-exposure Hubble Space Telescope image of massive galaxy cluster Abell 2744 (foreground) and some of the faintest and youngest galaxies ever detected in space.

New snaps show dazzling young galaxies furiously spawning stars - 13 BILLION years ago

The Hubble Space Telescope has captured the deepest image ever made of any cluster of galaxies, spying some of the youngest galaxies ever detected in space, including four bright young things as they appeared 13 billion years ago. Long-exposure Hubble Space Telescope image of massive galaxy cluster Abell 2744 (foreground) and …